Tate Speech - November 12, 2023


PETER PAN PEANUT BUTTER ALERT | EPISODE 3


Summary

In this episode, we talk about Yusuf's near-death experience while scuba diving in Egypt, and the secret to drinking coffee in the morning, and how to get a good night's rest with a cup of joe. We hope you enjoy this episode and don't forget to leave us a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and also, share it with a friend who needs a good cup of coffee too! You can also join our FB group here: and join the conversation by using the hashtag on the social media, and tag us if you like the episode and want to support us :) thank you so much for listening and supporting us! Peace, Blessings, Cheers, P.S. We are working on a new episode next week, so stay tuned for that! Cheers! - Peter and Yusuf, from now on, (and thanks for listening to this episode! xoxo, Peter & Yusuf) xOXOXO, Peter & Alex - Tristan & Tristan, Alex, :D Peter and Tristan :P - Yusuf - , . Alex - . . . - Tristan - - . , Tristan's Story - ? & , and ? - :) - Peter's Story: : | Can't wait to see the sun? / // Do you have a coffee with a good coffee? - Can you make a cup or a good one? , or do you want to go to Disneyland or go to a coffee to make a good day in Disneyland? or go there? ? ? ? , , etc. - can you give me a good time in the next episode with me some coffee with me a nice cup of something like that? :), can you help me make it better? (p=3/4/3/ 4/5/4? & so on? Can I have coffee with coffee with some coke with me in a good nice rice? &/or do you like coffee with my coffee in a nice nice rice & a nice piece of sugar, etc. ?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 you
00:00:43.000 See you around last night. Here we go.
00:00:45.000 There we go.
00:00:46.000 Before we start. Hey, we are...
00:00:49.000 We are live in three, two, one.
00:00:58.000 So I'm beginning to think that Yusuf is a government spy.
00:01:01.000 And he's waving this camera in front of us and broadcasting what we're doing to the world.
00:01:06.000 Possible. Alright guys, it's Sunday morning.
00:01:14.000 It's Peter kind of getting a butter alert.
00:01:15.000 We're here with the health and fitness professor from the room.
00:01:19.000 So I think it's very important that we all have three or four coffees and three or four sacars each.
00:01:23.000 Which is a lot of that. For our health and fitness.
00:01:25.000 Good point. And you're a liar.
00:02:23.000 So guys, you're now watching me, watching myself.
00:02:29.000 It's your inception. Guys, what's the plan for today?
00:02:35.000 We've been staying inside all day, every day in the past week.
00:02:39.000 We have endless options, really.
00:02:41.000 Bucharest is a very fun city.
00:02:43.000 Still sunny, you can go up to Snagov Lake, rent little boats, sail around, get in the supercars.
00:02:51.000 Little boats?
00:02:53.000 Yeah.
00:02:55.000 Tell me about your friend Tristan. How did you meet your friend Tristan and love boats?
00:02:57.000 read your friends' list of beloved books.
00:02:58.000 Film about it. So we were actually going caving one time.
00:03:01.000 See? And we were stuck in between two of these just jagging rocks.
00:03:06.000 Lucky I had a little boat hit.
00:03:07.000 Yeah, you're right. We should go caving.
00:03:09.000 Now that I mention it, we should. Baby, I will never go caving ever in my life.
00:03:14.000 Snorkeling. You're so white.
00:03:15.000 No, no oceans. You're my little boat.
00:03:20.000 Does the internet know about the time that I almost got murdered by a giant fish?
00:03:24.000 So I was scuba diving.
00:03:26.000 In Egypt. Because I thought scuba diving was fun because I was 18 and I was retarded.
00:03:29.000 I didn't realize that you could die.
00:03:31.000 So there I am scuba diving.
00:03:33.000 About 10 meters down, 12 meters down.
00:03:35.000 I look up and there's a fucking sea monster above me.
00:03:39.000 A giant monstrous entity of an animal.
00:03:42.000 Above me. Ready to kill me.
00:03:45.000 So you're scared of goldfish? Yes.
00:03:46.000 So I got out of the fucking water and the Egyptian guy, typical fucking, you know these North Africans, fucking Yusuf.
00:03:52.000 Hey, we are so lucky to see this beautiful Almost died.
00:04:05.000 No, they are harmless.
00:04:07.000 They eat coral. You can crush coral.
00:04:10.000 And you can't crush a man's skull?
00:04:12.000 I think Mustafa didn't quite understand that when this fish kills people, the people don't come and say that they got killed by the fish.
00:04:19.000 So how do you know that the fish doesn't kill people?
00:04:22.000 Google this. It's called a giant sunfish.
00:04:25.000 Almost fucked me up.
00:04:27.000 Lucky I have Aikido.
00:04:28.000 I almost died.
00:04:30.000 I want to see what it looks like now.
00:04:32.000 You want to see a giant sumbitch?
00:04:34.000 These motherfuckers are huge.
00:04:36.000 It was bigger than a van.
00:04:38.000 of them.
00:04:41.000 And then Mustafa's talking about...
00:04:43.000 I don't know. His name probably wasn't Mustafa now.
00:04:44.000 He's Mustafa now. Definitely was.
00:04:46.000 Mustafa's talking shit about how lucky we are to see it.
00:04:50.000 Look how big this one is.
00:04:51.000 That's a diaper. No way.
00:04:54.000 Yeah, he could have eaten you. Bro.
00:04:55.000 Definitely. You fucked me up.
00:04:57.000 Yeah, but you're the one who says you like little boats.
00:05:00.000 You tried to go see the sun.
00:05:01.000 Here's how I am. Alex, I did too, and I steal them on number one.
00:05:23.000 You gotta pump those numbers up.
00:05:24.000 So I need to drink the coffee at the same time I'm sleeping.
00:05:28.000 Eat the burner inside!
00:05:29.000 Yes! IV drip coffee, sleep into your veins, and then you'll sleep with all the energy.
00:05:36.000 If you have coffee with Frigo to bang you get the energy required to get a good nice rice.
00:05:40.000 Actually, yeah, you can drink coffee in the morning.
00:05:41.000 Four o'clock in the morning.
00:05:42.000 Four o'clock, yeah.
00:05:43.000 That's a bold strategy.
00:05:44.000 I don't know.
00:05:45.000 I don't know.
00:05:45.000 Yep.
00:05:47.000 It's a bold strategy.
00:05:48.000 I don't know. This isn't my secret to hell of a witness.
00:05:52.000 Lovers and lovers and nicotine and capital.
00:05:56.000 It's our secret to power.
00:05:58.000 I need some cigarettes. Tristan did have the bright idea to ditch cigarettes and only focus on three or four cigarettes.
00:06:04.000 We're so famous now that there's people all around the world who were wishing they were at this table talking shit.
00:06:11.000 This table is world famous.
00:06:14.000 And everyone's like, I'd love to just be in the war room, smoking cigars.
00:06:18.000 This is most men's dream.
00:06:19.000 You can say to most guys, do you want to go to Disneyland?
00:06:21.000 Or do you want to go sit in the war room, have coffee with those guys, and just smoke?
00:06:26.000 Everyone would choose to do this.
00:06:27.000 Well, there's 10,000 people watching us.
00:06:30.000 Everyone would love to just do this.
00:06:31.000 Because everyone who's been around the world actually understands.
00:06:35.000 Life is shit. Everything's boring.
00:06:38.000 Parties are shit. Sex with girls is shit.
00:06:43.000 Supercars. And even then, most of the time you don't go through traffic to get to the fun bar.
00:06:47.000 It's all shit. The only thing that's fun is sitting around with your boys, making fun of everyone else.
00:06:52.000 or each other.
00:06:54.000 So this is every man's dream.
00:06:56.000 And here you are, with less than five coffees, like a fucking coward.
00:07:02.000 I don't even like you guys.
00:07:03.000 I like this expensive pen.
00:07:05.000 If I had a choice, if someone put a gun to Bailey's head and said Tristan, give me your pen, or I'm gonna blow his brains out, I would let Bailey die.
00:07:13.000 I'm gonna put a gun to Bailey's head.
00:07:21.000 That's it. I'll give you a million dollars if I can't shoot.
00:07:24.000 Bailey would die. I'm wrecking havoc as it goes.
00:07:28.000 I'm coming back here. I'm burning it down.
00:07:30.000 Now, if someone put a gun to Bailey's head and said, Tristan, give me the rest of your cup of coffee, or I'll kill Bailey and everyone he loves.
00:07:39.000 Bailey's gonna have to get it.
00:07:41.000 It's gonna be a damn good cup of coffee.
00:07:42.000 It is.
00:07:43.000 You wouldn't know, because this is cup number three.
00:07:45.000 Cup number three is excellent.
00:07:46.000 If you were at my coffee level, then you'd gladly let me die.
00:07:50.000 On a serious note, can we talk about, actually, seriously, how everything is shit?
00:07:53.000 No. No, but in terms of everything is shit?
00:07:55.000 No. You're a millionaire.
00:07:57.000 Come to this party! I walk into the party.
00:08:00.000 Can I have a photo? No.
00:08:01.000 Can I have a photo? No.
00:08:03.000 Then some fucking really smart dude.
00:08:05.000 There's always a smart one. He gets to have some photos all the time.
00:08:07.000 Instead of asking for a photo, I'm going to go over there and try and pretend I'm important.
00:08:11.000 Hey Andrew, I want to talk to you about some business.
00:08:13.000 My name is this. Fuck off, brokey.
00:08:16.000 I don't talk to you. Oh, I've got a really interesting proposition.
00:08:18.000 Nothing about you is interesting.
00:08:20.000 Nothing about your entire life that you've lived has ever been interesting.
00:08:23.000 I don't want to do your shit business.
00:08:25.000 Even if it made unlimited money, I wouldn't want to do it because I have to talk to you.
00:08:28.000 So I don't want to talk to you. So go away.
00:08:29.000 I don't need money. Fuck off. Okay.
00:08:31.000 So you've got those. Then you get some other dudes who think they're cool.
00:08:34.000 Hey man, this party's...
00:08:35.000 Yeah, I've got another party.
00:08:37.000 Everyone leave me alone. Then there's whoopies.
00:08:40.000 Okay. Groupies around.
00:08:41.000 Chicks. Groupies. And they're all staring, but they want me to go say hello to them.
00:08:45.000 Hi! How about no?
00:08:47.000 So I sit there on my phone, thinking, why am I here?
00:08:50.000 But I'm a millionaire, so I can't stay at home.
00:08:52.000 And now I do. And now I realize I have more fun sitting around here talking about Bay Area Beach all night.
00:08:59.000 That was literally our night last night. The whole night.
00:09:02.000 100%.
00:09:03.000 You're just sitting in the club all by yourself. I roll up.
00:09:06.000 You look miserable.
00:09:07.000 Music's just boom boom boom boom boom. Can't even talk to each other. Can't hear each other. Just sitting there.
00:09:12.000 We look at each other. Why aren't we here?
00:09:14.000 This is so gay.
00:09:16.000 What are we doing?
00:09:17.000 And we just left. We just left.
00:09:19.000 If only there was a man smart enough to say, that's gonna be shit, don't go.
00:09:23.000 If only there was a man in this group who said, that's gonna be shit, don't go.
00:09:27.000 Because I do do things, but when I know something's gonna be shit...
00:09:31.000 All parties are shit.
00:09:33.000 Andrew has this move.
00:09:34.000 Oh, let's just go check it out.
00:09:39.000 I don't like it. Okay, so, right.
00:09:41.000 Someone serves me a steak.
00:09:42.000 And I'll eat the steak. Okay, I'll eat the steak.
00:09:44.000 Cool. Someone puts a plate of dog shit in front of me.
00:09:47.000 And I say, Andrew, this dog shit is going to taste really bad.
00:09:50.000 I know it's going to taste bad.
00:09:51.000 I have no personal experience on this dog shit, but I'm telling you, if you take a spoon of that and put it in your mouth, it's going to taste better.
00:09:58.000 I know it's going to crack.
00:10:02.000 There's a missing part to the equation.
00:10:03.000 What? One time in a million that tastes good?
00:10:06.000 No. If there's an event going on, and I know it's going to be So what we need is a hobby.
00:10:45.000 So we're millionaires.
00:10:46.000 We have unlimited money. Hundreds of millions of dollars.
00:10:48.000 Okay, because millionaires' hobbies suck.
00:10:50.000 Like drugs and hookers.
00:10:52.000 Those are millionaire hobbies. Skiing sucks.
00:10:55.000 Helicopters suck. Scuba diving sucks.
00:10:57.000 Anything to do with fucking white boy shit.
00:10:59.000 Jumping out and playing. Hooker sucks.
00:11:04.000 We don't do drugs. We don't gamble.
00:11:06.000 So what do you do with all this money?
00:11:08.000 I buy a new car every week.
00:11:10.000 That's kind of fun. Not because I drive them, but because I get to make fun of everyone who can't afford endless cars.
00:11:16.000 What else can we do that's actually fun?
00:11:19.000 Collect expensive pens.
00:11:20.000 We are going to do that. Casinos.
00:11:23.000 Bro, I can't gamble. He doesn't gamble.
00:11:26.000 I used to gamble.
00:11:28.000 To be fair, Andrew, we go to casinos.
00:11:31.000 And I'll gamble.
00:11:37.000 You just lose, which is funny, but then if you win, it doesn't make a difference because you're already a bitch.
00:11:40.000 Good point. I'll only gamble if I go to Monaco and shit, just for the sake of wearing my tuxedo and I'm going to gamble.
00:11:46.000 It would be nice. The only thing that's fun is racing around Europe in Super Bowl, staying in five-star hotels.
00:11:51.000 Shane, you're arrested, you're a loser.
00:11:52.000 You're arrested, you can't even put the rest.
00:11:56.000 Loser. So let's make the list.
00:11:58.000 First thing first. Have you ever seen those bell curve graphs where you have like stupid I've tried to analyze why I hate going out to parties so bad now and I've kind of realized it.
00:12:54.000 I think... That's 60 to 70%.
00:12:57.000 There's reasons. Here's the reasons I go to parties.
00:13:00.000 One, pussy. I am in the very unfortunate position where I cannot possibly see all of my girlfriends anyway.
00:13:06.000 So I literally don't have time to make girlfriends.
00:13:08.000 So I don't have time for that.
00:13:10.000 Why?
00:13:10.000 The other thing is, guys want to feel important.
00:13:13.000 So like, if there's a big party in an area, they want to be in the spot, because everyone's going to be there.
00:13:18.000 Buy them a champagne, get some ice cream.
00:13:19.000 And like, be there, like, oh, did you, were you there last night?
00:13:22.000 Because we're the most relevant group of friends on the planet.
00:13:26.000 So we don't have to go anywhere.
00:13:27.000 We can just sit here and do this.
00:13:29.000 So why do we have to go there and be seen?
00:13:31.000 In fact, it's annoying to be there because then there's always some dick I try and talk to him.
00:13:34.000 Yesterday some dude come up to me and he's fucking...
00:13:36.000 Hey bro, I was always waiting to see you.
00:13:38.000 I was like, hi. We're from Italy.
00:13:40.000 We're Italian guys.
00:13:42.000 We moved to Bucharest and we knew we'd see you one day.
00:13:44.000 We're the Italian guys. What?
00:13:47.000 And maybe you come to my table for a drink.
00:13:49.000 I'd rather leave, which is what I did, and sit and drink with you.
00:13:56.000 Fuck off! Super Mario Bros.
00:13:58.000 trying to be friends with you. You were mates.
00:14:00.000 You were mates. I didn't even show up.
00:14:02.000 Italians love little boats.
00:14:04.000 True. That is Italian bullshit, and you know it.
00:14:07.000 Yeah, I'm a little boatman. Do that.
00:14:19.000 Do you think the Romanians will ever let us go or are we just going to be perma-trapped here?
00:14:22.000 I think they're going to permanently trap us here forever because of that one guy who wants to steal our money.
00:14:28.000 We won't say his name, but there's one guy doing this.
00:14:33.000 This isn't Romanian. Romanian people, we like them.
00:14:35.000 We like you, we like the judges, we like the institutions here.
00:14:39.000 One guy is doing this.
00:14:41.000 Super comp.
00:14:43.000 Is smoking a hobby? Is that a hobby?
00:14:46.000 Yeah. Smoking is a hobby.
00:14:48.000 A smoking star.
00:14:50.000 And it doesn't detriment my health at all.
00:14:52.000 I don't believe that. That's all fucking matrix propaganda.
00:14:54.000 It actually makes me stronger than ever before.
00:14:55.000 Look at the 1950s.
00:14:56.000 Men were handsome with chiseled jawlines.
00:14:58.000 Women were slim. Everyone was smoking cigarettes.
00:15:00.000 I will not get to be told by people drinking fucking Slurpees with their fat bellies and their high fructose corn syrup.
00:15:06.000 Fuck off.
00:15:10.000 See who gets cancer and dies first.
00:15:12.000 It won't be me.
00:15:13.000 It's a party sucker, everything is gay.
00:15:16.000 Do you agree? Party sucker, everything is gay?
00:15:20.000 What if you made your own pasta?
00:15:22.000 Before cooking?
00:15:24.000 Let's take up cooking as a hobby.
00:15:26.000 Andrew is a master chef.
00:15:28.000 Beans on toast.
00:15:31.000 Incredibly. For all those English people watching, this motherfucker right here once referred to our national dish as beans and toast.
00:15:41.000 Motherfucker. He has no idea.
00:15:43.000 That's like shitting on an American flag.
00:15:45.000 Beans and toast?
00:15:47.000 I was furious.
00:15:49.000 Everyone in the house was furious.
00:15:51.000 And I just came in and I was like, guys, I just got back from the airport, beans and toast?
00:15:55.000 No, let's use our monumental influence, which we have.
00:15:57.000 I actually want to take credit.
00:15:58.000 I think of that. I have done more damage to the Star Wars franchise than any one individual on the planet.
00:16:04.000 I have made Star Wars not cool anymore.
00:16:06.000 Just me by myself. And we're going to make all parties shit.
00:16:09.000 If you're watching this, don't go out to party anymore.
00:16:13.000 It's gay and shit.
00:16:15.000 Please listen. No, I'm going to explain to people.
00:16:17.000 I'm going to be at a party eventually.
00:16:19.000 Don't go to parties anymore.
00:16:21.000 It's gay and shit.
00:16:22.000 You're going because you think you're going to meet some hot girl, but the truly beautiful girls, the girls who are beautiful where it counts, deep inside of their heart, aren't even in the party.
00:16:30.000 And you're going to go there and you're going to stand around in a sausage vest and you're going to do this.
00:16:38.000 For hours, it's gay and it's stupid.
00:16:42.000 No more. Don't go.
00:16:44.000 Ferraris are lame. Instead, I would rather... You know what?
00:16:48.000 When I was broke, back in the day, me and my boys used to all get into a Vauxhall Astra and just drive around the clubs because we couldn't afford to go in and try and pick up girls from outside.
00:16:58.000 We should start, all of us get in a Ferrari and just start pulling up outside clubs on a Saturday night, us four, and we'll pick up and get a bumper alert.
00:17:06.000 We'll take the two Ferraris, the RS7, we'll get the security car to come with us, we have bodyguards, we have room for more chicks.
00:17:14.000 Let's take five or six supercars and let's drive from club to club and just pick up all the girls from outside and put them all in the cars.
00:17:22.000 Why are we going inside of these places?
00:17:25.000 You sound like a human trafficker.
00:17:27.000 So some fucking nerd can come up to me and say, Hey, I'm Italian!
00:17:30.000 Like six times in one sentence, like I'm going to give a shit.
00:17:33.000 You're Italian? Whoa, I really want to hang out with you!
00:17:36.000 Tell me more! Dickhead.
00:17:38.000 He just wanted to take you out on a little boat.
00:17:41.000 Trust me. I like the idea,
00:18:09.000 though. Pulling up with our goons to the clubs, looking like mafia.
00:18:15.000 We said that last night. When we left the club, me and Bailey went to get a big fat steak at 1 in the morning.
00:18:19.000 And I said, we pulled up in the RSS. I was like, is this as cool as life gets to pull up in a $300,000 RS7 special edition and then your armed guards get out and walk in the club and move everyone out of the way and sit down and start eating fat steaks?
00:18:47.000 That's pretty much as good as life gets.
00:18:49.000 That's much cooler to go to some fucking club and it's not about peasants.
00:18:54.000 Yeah. I'm done with clubs.
00:18:58.000 For now. For now.
00:19:01.000 But eventually, the way the world works, eventually I'm going to find myself at a club When people replay this to you, you went to get me out.
00:19:16.000 That's the official message. I went to stop you from clubbing.
00:19:19.000 Okay. I have to slow you down because you're out of control.
00:19:23.000 I haven't even fucking started yet.
00:19:27.000 Moscow rules. It's 11am.
00:19:30.000 Let's move to Alabama.
00:19:33.000 Put a 1 in the chat. I think you have to give me credit.
00:19:59.000 As an American, the first time leaving the country and I go to Albania.
00:20:03.000 That's a very weird setup.
00:20:05.000 It's cool. That's a very weird decision.
00:20:08.000 Yeah, it was. Over in Macedonia, when I fought there 10 years ago, maybe longer, 12 years ago, was fucking sick.
00:20:16.000 Who's that girl you almost got pregnant?
00:20:18.000 Maybe she's watching. We're talking about it.
00:20:20.000 I'll be honest with you. I don't even know who Macedonia is.
00:20:23.000 Where's Macedonia? Where's Macedonia?
00:20:26.000 Where's Macedonia? I don't know.
00:20:27.000 It's near Albania. They're all part of former Yugoslavia.
00:20:30.000 You know I don't know geography.
00:20:32.000 Americans don't know geography.
00:20:33.000 We were in Macedonia, right?
00:20:35.000 So check this. I won both fights by KO. So this whole town comes to these huge fight events and there's posters of me and all the other 20 fighters because there's a tournament all over the town.
00:20:48.000 Before the internet, before Instagram, before...
00:20:50.000 So we're like the tough guys who have appeared, right?
00:20:53.000 All over this town. And I can tell people were intimidated because over in Macedonia is kind of like old Greek and then these little alley waves and shit.
00:21:01.000 And the second fight I finished, we'd all won, but I hadn't been paid yet.
00:21:05.000 I had no money. I was like, oh shit. So we went and came back with like the fucking squad and gums and shit.
00:21:32.000 Like, alright bro, calm down.
00:21:34.000 So we went in this club. Anyway, long story.
00:21:35.000 So we were drinking, we go in this club, in Macedonia, I won't say the name of the club.
00:21:40.000 We're there, surrounded by girls, we're doing fun, we're famous, we're on the posters, we're the fighters from the other countries, we've got all these girls, da da da da.
00:21:46.000 I don't know exactly how it happened, but some dudes Being the legend that he is.
00:21:53.000 For anyone who's watching this, if you're American, you Americans are gun land.
00:21:57.000 But England, it's different, right?
00:21:59.000 And before it was stab land, it was punch land.
00:22:02.000 So England's very different.
00:22:03.000 So stand up. Let me show you England.
00:22:04.000 Let me show you how England works.
00:22:07.000 England's a very different culture. It's like...
00:22:09.000 Oh, sorry. Sorry.
00:22:12.000 Hit first!
00:22:14.000 Right? So this guy bumped into my friend, and I saw the bump, and half a second And the guy went flying.
00:22:28.000 We'll call this man K-Fed.
00:22:30.000 He knows what that means.
00:22:31.000 And no one else knows who K-Fed is.
00:22:33.000 So, the guy goes flying.
00:22:36.000 Anyway, we had all these girls.
00:22:38.000 I was like, we don't know who we've just thrown.
00:22:41.000 It's a bit messy.
00:22:43.000 And he goes, all the fighters are here.
00:22:44.000 I need to do shit. I was like, we're in Macedonia.
00:22:47.000 Let's leave. So we took a bunch of girls back to the hotel.
00:22:50.000 End of the night. Next morning, I'm there.
00:22:57.000 My friend was really hungover.
00:22:58.000 I'm down to breakfast. I swear to God, I'm down to breakfast with my coffee.
00:23:01.000 I remember I had a Blackbird back then.
00:23:02.000 I'm on my bike, drinking coffee.
00:23:04.000 These two dudes come and sit down at my table.
00:23:07.000 And I'm like, hello?
00:23:09.000 And they're like, we are here to kill your friend.
00:23:12.000 And I was like, which friend?
00:23:18.000 Like the friend you were with last night, we're here to kill your friend.
00:23:22.000 Where is he? And I said, I'll text him.
00:23:28.000 That's what I said. I'll text him.
00:23:30.000 I text him on BBM. Ping, ping, ping.
00:23:33.000 He goes, what? I was like, two people are down at breakfast to kill me.
00:23:39.000 He goes, what?
00:23:40.000 LOL. I'm like, no.
00:23:42.000 There's two people here who said they want to kill him.
00:23:45.000 He goes, OK, let me get dressed.
00:23:48.000 So he gets dressed, he walks downstairs, and the manager of the whole fight event, the Macedonian, like the mayor of the town, was involved in the whole fight event.
00:24:00.000 And the mayor of the town, the guy went and got the mayor of the town, a few other important Macedonian guys, and they all went to the corner of the breakfast hall and started having this conversation while these two dudes stood there with their hands on their glocks and their fucking on their waist.
00:24:13.000 And they spoke a bunch for like 20 minutes and then shook hands and that was it.
00:24:16.000 I said, so why didn't they kill you? He goes, I have to pay him 5,000 Euro.
00:24:20.000 It was his cousin. I was like, really?
00:24:23.000 Are you going to pay it? He goes, yeah, I'm going to pay it.
00:24:24.000 I was like, how do you know they're serious? He goes, no, they're serious.
00:24:27.000 So you need to pay five grand to throw the guy over the table.
00:24:29.000 Wow. Let's go.
00:24:32.000 Macedonia sounds fun. The world's changed.
00:24:38.000 Macedonia, all around the world, in Dubai, places, Instagram's killed it, that whole vibe when everyone in the town who wants fun goes to the center of the town on a Friday night for the fun is over.
00:24:49.000 It's all over. The internet's killed it all.
00:24:52.000 I don't know. I'm messaging that Macedonian girl, who's a total nine, so I say we all go to Macedonia.
00:24:57.000 So that would be my Macedonian girl.
00:24:59.000 That would be a very good one.
00:25:02.000 So what we're saying, having Better options,
00:25:34.000 job opportunities, fucking richer, more handsome dudes.
00:25:39.000 You know, if you are from...
00:25:40.000 Let me talk to you about my old favorite town, when I was young and haran and used to womanize, because obviously I'm not a womanizer anymore.
00:25:49.000 This town was called Kosice, Slovakia.
00:25:51.000 Kosice, Slovakia had girls.
00:25:54.000 I was going there from when I was 16, 17, 18 years old, before Facebook, before fucking...
00:26:00.000 Before Instagram, before TikTok, before any of this crap, before Tinder, before all the crap that ruined the world where everyone's on their phones all the time and everyone's flying around the world and the best guys on earth.
00:26:12.000 Actually, you know what? I'm actually glad the world's changed.
00:26:13.000 I'm gonna get into this in a second.
00:26:15.000 But now the best men on earth can invite any beautiful woman from anywhere in the world, anywhere they like, and the beautiful woman go.
00:26:22.000 They don't wanna fuck the guys in their hometowns anymore.
00:26:24.000 But back before that existed, when I was a rookie, in Slovakia, there was, man, I wish I could turn back time and go out for one more weekend.
00:26:34.000 It was fucking awesome. The world was a very different place.
00:26:36.000 Everyone smoked cigarettes inside.
00:26:38.000 It was beautiful. But everything moved on at exactly the right moment.
00:26:42.000 Because now the world's changed.
00:26:44.000 If I was still a brokie living in Kosice, Slovakia, or a brokie living anywhere, I'd be so No, you're not.
00:26:57.000 Why? Hi, do you want to come with my little button?
00:27:01.000 Yeah, exactly. When I get my rowing boat, I'm going to get a rowing boat in this pool, and I'm going to sit in it, fill it with beautiful women, and everyone's going to have to admit that I was right.
00:27:14.000 If that happens, I'll make it right.
00:27:16.000 You know the ladders got me lots of beautiful girls.
00:27:18.000 You talked shit about the ladders until you saw that If you end up on a little rowboat in our pool with girls, I'll admit that you win.
00:27:31.000 You'll admit that I win? I'll admit it.
00:27:33.000 But until that happens, if you did not win, you lost.
00:27:37.000 Challenge accepted. Challenge accepted.
00:27:40.000 So once we're free, what are we going to do with our lives?
00:27:43.000 I'm trying to avoid everybody all of the time.
00:27:47.000 Everyone wants to talk to me and is super annoying.
00:27:49.000 Once we're free, let's stay here.
00:27:52.000 I was staying at home for a couple years.
00:27:54.000 Remember our first night off house arrest?
00:27:55.000 We said, this is bullshit when I'm going out.
00:27:59.000 We've been locked in our house for five months and we just stayed home.
00:28:03.000 That was pretty epic.
00:28:05.000 Going out is shit. Doing things is shit.
00:28:08.000 It's all shit. All I do is race around in cars and avoid everybody.
00:28:12.000 And now the weather's just too cold for that.
00:28:16.000 I don't want to talk to you. That's what I like about this house.
00:28:21.000 No one wants to talk to me. Outside, everyone wants to talk to me.
00:28:25.000 He's not that interesting. Hey, bro.
00:28:27.000 Have you got five minutes? No, I do not.
00:28:30.000 Nice to meet you. Oh, there was a dork the other day.
00:28:32.000 Fuck, you know, I almost fucking slashed his throat with a knife and let him bleed to death on the restaurant floor.
00:28:37.000 This motherfucker comes over.
00:28:43.000 Somehow, because he was sitting next to us.
00:28:44.000 Hey, hey, can I have a photo with you guys?
00:28:46.000 I'm like, you know what, security get up.
00:28:47.000 I'm like, yeah, no, no, let's give him his photo.
00:28:49.000 Fine, we stand up. If you're watching, don't ever fucking do this, mate, whoever you are.
00:28:54.000 We let you take the picture with us, and you go away.
00:28:58.000 Then you fucking come marching your dumb ass over about three minutes later.
00:29:01.000 Hi! Sorry for interrupting, I need five minutes of your time.
00:29:05.000 I'd just like to discuss with you, and you're like, no.
00:29:07.000 No, we'll discuss with you.
00:29:09.000 I'm having a discussion.
00:29:10.000 An important one.
00:29:11.000 With all my millionaire friends.
00:29:13.000 What the fuck do I want to discuss with you for?
00:29:14.000 You had your picture. Fuck off.
00:29:16.000 And in fact, there's that old saying, if you treat someone like a fan, if you treat someone like a celebrity, then we treat you like a fan.
00:29:22.000 There is a tiny possibility that a man actually approaches me and says, Hi.
00:29:26.000 Yeah, I know who you are. I've actually got this idea.
00:29:29.000 Can I run some? Then come over after a few minutes like you're the fucking businessman.
00:29:41.000 No, you're not. You're a dummy.
00:29:43.000 I'm going to correct Tristan before he ruins our lives.
00:29:45.000 You can come over to me however you want.
00:29:47.000 I'm not coming by your business. Yeah.
00:29:49.000 Before Tristan ruins our lives.
00:29:51.000 Excuse me, mister. Fuck off.
00:29:53.000 You said on the livestream once I could stop.
00:29:54.000 I don't want to talk to nobody. Don't talk to me.
00:29:57.000 Don't come talk to me. Join the war room.
00:29:59.000 If you're important, I'll talk to you. Join the war room.
00:30:01.000 And inside of the war room, there is an organization We'll speak to you inside of the war room.
00:30:09.000 If you see me on the street and you're not in the war room, don't talk to me.
00:30:12.000 I don't talk to you. And if people don't believe you, I'm sitting here.
00:30:16.000 War room? Boom.
00:30:17.000 Brandon joined the war room. Now he's at the table.
00:30:19.000 Yeah, same. Yeah, Yusuf joined the war room.
00:30:21.000 Or imagine people at Eustace Day.
00:30:22.000 The ghost of Eustace Day.
00:30:23.000 Yeah, Eustace Day's a ghost.
00:30:25.000 Now I will talk to you if you're wearing a Resist the Slave Mine t-shirt.
00:30:29.000 I will talk to you for a minute.
00:30:31.000 I think that's fair.
00:30:32.000 And don't come up to me, you're like, I have the t-shirt at home.
00:30:34.000 I will punch you in the face.
00:30:35.000 Wear it.
00:30:36.000 I will strike you physically.
00:30:37.000 You don't want to get hit by me.
00:30:39.000 Wear it permanently.
00:30:39.000 Think I'm scared of going to jail?
00:30:41.000 Proving that I'm not, I'll punch you in the face.
00:30:42.000 Don't talk to me.
00:30:43.000 Wear it permanently.
00:30:45.000 For life.
00:30:46.000 For life.
00:30:48.000 If you have a tape Resist the Slave Mine t-shirt.
00:30:51.000 Peace.
00:30:53.000 I've only had four cigars and five coffees of my game.
00:30:56.000 Yeah, I'll have another one.
00:31:01.000 Alex, where's your coffee?
00:31:03.000 Here. You actually have one?
00:31:06.000 Yes. Alright, good.
00:31:08.000 That's an anti-cop, isn't it?
00:31:09.000 Yes.
00:31:10.000 There's no way, no one left this room or came in that he somehow manifested a coffee.
00:31:19.000 I knew, I know him.
00:31:21.000 Alex is the keeper pretending to drink things, by the way.
00:31:24.000 The war room's the only place I speak to myself.
00:31:26.000 People are asking why the war room. The war room is the only way to speak to us because most people are shitmunchers and waste everyone's time, including their own.
00:31:33.000 Most of you are so stupid that you waste your own life.
00:31:39.000 My time is valuable because I live the most beautiful human experience a man can possibly have.
00:31:45.000 So I don't want to have my time wasted by dorks like you.
00:31:47.000 So if you join the war room and you're not a loser, you will naturally progress throughout the hierarchy and end up sitting at this table.
00:31:53.000 If you join the war room and you are a loser, I never have to talk to you, which is fantastic.
00:31:56.000 So you have to join the war room to prove yourself.
00:31:57.000 If you manage to see me on the street by chance, that is not a chance from God to waste my time because I don't care.
00:32:04.000 My time is valuable. I have things to do.
00:32:06.000 Join the war room if you ever want to meet me or talk to me.
00:32:08.000 If you see me, if you want a photo, if you approach nicely enough, perhaps, but do not try and tell me your shit business idea, because it's shit.
00:32:14.000 And you know what? If it's good, I'll probably just take it off for you and do it myself.
00:32:17.000 So just don't waste anyone's time.
00:32:19.000 Just go away. Yeah, that's a very good point.
00:32:24.000 I think we should pee or pad peanut butter alert all day.
00:32:30.000 All day. A smoke off.
00:32:31.000 A proper smoke off.
00:32:33.000 Just move away. Tristan's the king.
00:32:36.000 The episode's not been released yet, so people don't know, but they will know soon.
00:32:39.000 Well, people don't know that I'm the king.
00:32:40.000 They don't know. Oh, they're on the way that I am the king.
00:32:43.000 That our cigar will be.
00:32:44.000 Well, my loyal Rumble viewers are apparently shocked and appalled and disgusted and impressed.
00:32:53.000 You can join the war room from any country on earth.
00:32:56.000 Blast me. Yeah, I am the smoking king.
00:33:02.000 I don't think anyone can top it.
00:33:03.000 No. Text in the group chat,
00:33:36.000 just laser eyes. Oh, I was texting laser eyes.
00:33:39.000 What the fuck's that about?
00:33:41.000 Some movie with some guy who's super smart with his life shit and he's a dork.
00:33:46.000 I don't know why it was on.
00:33:48.000 Your life? My brain was fried.
00:33:50.000 Your life? No. Sounds like your life, right?
00:33:53.000 Well, a guy who's super smart about his life shit is a dork.
00:33:56.000 Except that he's smart.
00:33:59.000 So, so, good will hunting without being smart is just a guy whose life's crap and he's a dork.
00:34:06.000 Your life, yeah. That's not my life.
00:34:08.000 It is. It isn't.
00:34:10.000 So guys, we started the conversation talking about things we needed to do today, and it slowly progressed to just staying home.
00:34:16.000 Alright guys, yeah, alright, so yeah, let's actually be sensible here. Tristan, without bullshit, we're billionaires.
00:34:20.000 Network. Liquid cash, hundreds of millions.
00:34:22.000 We are actually billionaires. I want the internet to know that. We calculated our net worth the other day, and we were worth collectively over two billion dollars.
00:34:29.000 That means if you split it in half, we're both billionaires.
00:34:31.000 We're billionaires. Our tech empire is monumental because most people don't even have a clue of the things we're involved in.
00:34:36.000 There's people using apps on their phone right now that they don't even know we own.
00:34:40.000 So we're billionaires.
00:34:43.000 We're billionaires, we have hundreds of millions of dollars.
00:34:45.000 Outside we have, I can see on the cameras, we have an RS7 ABT special edition, we have an MC20, we have an Right.
00:34:59.000 It's a sunny day.
00:35:00.000 Lada. We're in Bucharest, which is a fun city.
00:35:04.000 It is fun. We can do anything we want.
00:35:07.000 Okay. What should we do today?
00:35:10.000 Spoke cigars and stay home.
00:35:11.000 No, this has to be something else.
00:35:13.000 What are you talking about? This is the funnest thing in the world.
00:35:16.000 We're just going to sit this table all day talking shit.
00:35:18.000 Alex, what do you think we should do? I think we should go out.
00:35:23.000 Who the fuck's your mate?
00:35:25.000 Go where you want. Take the scooters, of course.
00:35:29.000 Oh, we have to get these scooters. Okay, so we take the scooters.
00:35:33.000 And where do we go?
00:35:35.000 City center.
00:35:37.000 Oh. Haristrow Park.
00:35:39.000 Let's put four Bugatti scooters in the back of the X6M, drive down to Harrisdorf Park, and race around the park.
00:35:48.000 That's fun.
00:35:50.000 Alright. I'm gonna tell my animation to charge. You tell the staff.
00:35:53.000 Is that a real plan?
00:35:55.000 It's one of the last sunny days that we're gonna have in Bluegrass.
00:36:00.000 What if I take- It's a perfect plan.
00:36:02.000 This cigar knife...
00:36:03.000 No, I can't, I can't. I can't make threats on the internet, can I?
00:36:08.000 and cut my cigar with it.
00:36:10.000 Nice. Andrew and I, when we were driving around last night, had a brilliant idea.
00:36:14.000 You don't have brilliant ideas.
00:36:15.000 Trust me, this is game-changing.
00:36:17.000 Really? We are going to start taking public transportation.
00:36:22.000 We are. We're going to start riding the bus everywhere we go.
00:36:26.000 Why? Why not? We've transcended the supercars.
00:36:35.000 Let's take the bus somewhere.
00:36:37.000 At night. He'll organize the tickets and shit.
00:36:41.000 I don't know how it works. Let's take the metro.
00:36:42.000 Tickets? No!
00:36:46.000 Look, just because you're a Romanian doesn't mean we all have to be criminals.
00:36:49.000 Have you ever ridden the Bucharest metro or not?
00:36:53.000 Once. Once.
00:36:55.000 I took the metro. Maybe we should go to the metro.
00:36:58.000 We should take the metro around at night.
00:37:00.000 Let's take the trams around at night.
00:37:02.000 Tram Man. The Tram Man.
00:37:06.000 Let's take the train. Yeah, the trains go too far.
00:37:09.000 I'm not allowed to leave the press. Because super nerds are trying to steal from me.
00:37:14.000 Yeah. There's a super dork out there.
00:37:19.000 Scooters today. Trams at some random time.
00:37:24.000 Because if we do it tonight, everyone's going to be out waiting to see the train.
00:37:28.000 Good point. Yeah, we can't have You could go rowing in the swimming pool.
00:37:42.000 I don't know, the rowing boat's already purchased.
00:37:44.000 Got the girls organised and everything.
00:37:46.000 I'll fucking be the boss of that pool.
00:37:49.000 Even when it freezes over, I can pretend I'm an arctic explorer.
00:37:53.000 Wear a big coat and try to break through the ice to go inside the pool.
00:37:56.000 I'm gonna get your big sailor hat.
00:37:58.000 Thank you. See?
00:38:00.000 Finally. Little boats.
00:38:01.000 We've gone full circle.
00:38:03.000 Back to little boats I Love the planet of those I don't think that at least three coffees before I talk to him I'm not talking to a man. He hasn't had a coffee. Sorry I'll organize the source of coffees.
00:38:19.000 I'll tell you one thing I want to do.
00:38:25.000 Nobody cares! It's almost...
00:38:28.000 It's getting close to Christmas.
00:38:30.000 Don't look like I care. I want to decorate the entire house.
00:38:34.000 Turn it into a winter wonderland.
00:38:36.000 Christmas lights, Christmas trees.
00:38:37.000 Make the apples. Stockings.
00:38:39.000 Whole nine yards. No, I would dress up as Santa Claus.
00:38:49.000 I'm going to bring everyone gifts.
00:38:51.000 You get cold. Alex, I'll do something good.
00:38:53.000 To be fair, I think I would make the most terrifying Santa Claus.
00:38:58.000 How? That I just carry around a big machete.
00:39:04.000 You know. Just throw them cold at kids.
00:39:07.000 You would be the biggest one, at least.
00:39:09.000 People will think I'm a human trafficker.
00:39:11.000 I can't buy people. Put them in my bag.
00:39:13.000 I get to do something for Christmas.
00:39:17.000 We have to. That is a good point.
00:39:21.000 That is a very good point.
00:39:22.000 We do kind of have to do something for Christmas.
00:39:24.000 We have to tell everybody that's watching what our Thanksgiving Day play is.
00:39:28.000 I think last Christmas, I was with Alex drinking wine that his dad made.
00:39:34.000 Can you enlighten everybody on Village Wine?
00:39:36.000 Because they don't know. Yeah, so basically, when you're a billionaire like me, you can drink any drink on the planet.
00:39:43.000 So, I've got bottles I've got the top of the safe in the back of the bar.
00:39:52.000 I have Lou the 13th Cognac, a seven or eight grand bottle.
00:39:54.000 I have all the booze a man can want.
00:39:57.000 And when I sit around drinking Valet, we drink wine that his dad made.
00:40:02.000 If his dad were to sell this wine in the village stores, it would cost about three euros a bottle.
00:40:06.000 I've seen it for sale.
00:40:09.000 And it's very good.
00:40:13.000 I choose village wine every time.
00:40:15.000 But the secret sauce when it comes to the village wine is you never know what you're going to get.
00:40:20.000 You never know how much it's going to be.
00:40:22.000 Me and Alex have sat together.
00:40:24.000 And Alex is a terrible drinker, by the way.
00:40:25.000 Probably the worst Romanian drinker in the world.
00:40:28.000 As a Romanian, he can't drink for shit.
00:40:30.000 And we can drink four bottles of village wine and feel good.
00:40:33.000 But then there's one night me and Bailey had like two and a half bottles of village wine and I fucking almost died if so did Bailey.
00:40:39.000 Guys, I have an idea. Good morning.
00:40:45.000 Good morning. For the next seven days, anybody...
00:40:50.000 What we're going to start doing. We started.
00:40:52.000 For future... We have more copies, bro.
00:40:54.000 Four, please. Okay. Eight.
00:40:56.000 Thanks. Ten. Ten.
00:40:58.000 Thanks. Okay. From now on, Peter Pan, peanut butter alerts around this table.
00:41:04.000 Each time, we're going to have a guest.
00:41:06.000 We're going to have a guest.
00:41:07.000 So for the next seven days, you can go to the live chat on CobraTape.com.
00:41:12.000 Go to the live chat agent and explain to them why you should be selected to come to a Peter Pan, Peter Barber.
00:41:17.000 You get flown out. You go pay their flights.
00:41:19.000 You go pay their hotel. And every Sunday morning, someone's going to sit here with us.
00:41:23.000 And we're going to talk to them.
00:41:24.000 But you have to explain to the live chat why we should choose you.
00:41:27.000 And we're going to put them in between me and Tristan in case they're weird.
00:41:30.000 If they do anything they shouldn't do.
00:41:32.000 Then we can deal with. Yeah.
00:42:06.000 And if you upset me, you'll never see your family again.
00:42:09.000 You're going to have to go to the live chat and cover people to come and explain why we should choose you.
00:42:13.000 That's what we're going to do. A live chat agent will choose.
00:42:16.000 Or, yeah. Yeah, do that.
00:42:19.000 Hopefully no one gets flumbed at you.
00:42:21.000 We'll see. I like that.
00:42:23.000 That's a good plan. That's a good plan.
00:42:24.000 Yeah. Slice up our random fans.
00:42:26.000 See, that's crazy. That's a lot.
00:42:33.000 So if you want to meet us, that's how you do it.
00:42:35.000 You can go to the live chat on CobraTakes.com right now and explain to them why you should be invited to a Peter Pan peanut butter.
00:42:42.000 And you can fly out here.
00:42:44.000 When are we going to fly the first person out?
00:42:46.000 Let's see. The live chat guys or war room guys are going to compile a report And if you are chosen, you'll be chosen to create a video interview.
00:43:02.000 A video message.
00:43:05.000 And you'll be given a secret email address to send it to.
00:43:07.000 And we will review the videos.
00:43:08.000 We'll choose somebody. Chusif.
00:43:12.000 Chusif will choose. Chusif will choose.
00:43:14.000 I'll choose. The ghost of Chusif.
00:43:15.000 So Yusuf has many nicknames.
00:43:19.000 So we tried to think of a nickname for Yusuf and we couldn't because we couldn't think of things that rhymed with Yusuf.
00:43:25.000 But then we realized loads of things rhymed with Yusuf and I think we've landed on Abusive Yusuf.
00:43:32.000 So that's his name.
00:43:33.000 So as I walk around being spied on by the police, I roll with a man whose nickname is Abusif Yusuf.
00:43:41.000 Definitely get me in trouble.
00:43:44.000 That's just one of his nicknames, he has nicknames.
00:43:46.000 True. Abusif Yusuf.
00:43:48.000 Elusive Yusuf when he's not around.
00:43:50.000 See, on this stream, he's Elusive Yusuf.
00:43:52.000 He's there, but he's not.
00:43:54.000 Because he's loose.
00:43:56.000 What's Alice's name?
00:44:03.000 Yeah, fuck Alex. Fuck Alex.
00:44:12.000 You know how I'm going to video call.
00:44:14.000 Who? Your cousin.
00:44:16.000 See the answers. No, no, no, you can't.
00:44:18.000 Oh yeah, I'm not allowed. Well, Sam.
00:44:21.000 Yeah, Sam. Your cousin's Sam.
00:44:25.000 Don't call Sam. Don't call Sam.
00:44:27.000 Why? Alright, I'm done with cigar number one.
00:44:36.000 Do I need number two? Obviously we don't.
00:44:38.000 The fuck is wrong with you?
00:44:39.000 You're right. Coffee number two, cigar number two.
00:44:41.000 Embarrassing us, live music.
00:44:42.000 I want coffee number seven, cigar number three.
00:44:44.000 You're the upper fucking game, baby.
00:44:46.000 I'm not up to you. It's good that he doesn't have the second guy in the world.
00:45:19.000 The fastest second guy in the world.
00:45:22.000 Oh, yeah. Usain Bolt?
00:45:24.000 No, the second fastest guy in the world.
00:45:25.000 Oh, the second fastest guy. His last name is gay.
00:45:30.000 Oh, nice. Nice.
00:45:33.000 I'm passing the cigar jar, please.
00:45:37.000 Alright, we'll do it with the knife.
00:45:39.000 This is the baby's cousin who sings this song.
00:45:41.000 This is a banger. Michael Baldwin's the man.
00:45:47.000 You guys, the world is lucky I can't sing it.
00:45:50.000 I'd be singing at Lucy's love songs.
00:45:53.000 BBC Lucy. Oh, BBC Lucy.
00:45:57.000 She probably still has dreams about you.
00:45:59.000 There's a picture of me and her next to my bed.
00:46:02.000 She does have dreams about you.
00:46:06.000 This is the first one I took. She's just looking at the camera.
00:46:10.000 You're also in my bedroom like Thursdays.
00:46:13.000 That's my number one fan from the BBC. They are, man.
00:46:17.000 Are we just the biggest trolls?
00:46:20.000 You don't want to get to arrest people in trafficking.
00:46:23.000 You work for the BBC. You come over to try and stump them in an interview.
00:46:26.000 They try not to be super smart and they make a fool of you.
00:46:28.000 They make pictures of you in them all over their own room.
00:46:33.000 You know, it's like Matt Shay turns up to the gate.
00:46:35.000 He's DMG. They must hate us.
00:46:38.000 We're not even trolls.
00:46:40.000 These people try to troll us and fail because we're smarter than them.
00:46:46.000 A homeless person.
00:46:48.000 By the way, his career is over.
00:46:50.000 You've ended that man's career.
00:46:52.000 You've ended that man's career.
00:46:54.000 He can go on his Twitter page, his ex-page, where he has almost no followers anyway, but all of his followers are people waiting for him to say anything, so they can call him a DNG and ask him for chocolates.
00:47:04.000 His whole career is over. He could do a story, a breaking story about the Brazilian government's corruption inside, or whatever he does, and everyone would ask him for chocolates and call him a DNG. Just fucking do honest journalism and you don't get practice.
00:47:32.000 I miss house arrest. House arrest is great.
00:47:34.000 Let's put ourselves back on house arrest.
00:47:36.000 That was probably one of the best summers I've ever had in my life.
00:47:38.000 That was so much fun.
00:47:40.000 We didn't leave the house.
00:47:44.000 We just sat here fighting.
00:47:48.000 What do we do? Fight? Train?
00:47:49.000 We train three times a day.
00:47:51.000 Every single day. Jail is just the ultimate hassle.
00:48:01.000 Oh, Jail, yeah. Room arrest.
00:48:04.000 Room arrest. Real arrest.
00:48:10.000 This song is about my relationship with Jay.
00:48:13.000 I spoke Jay a lot of times.
00:48:20.000 I can't explain it guys.
00:48:27.000 you Please correct me. I want you to correct my brain.
00:48:30.000 Because people live lives, and I understand people live lives, and I shouldn't be this way.
00:48:35.000 But let's say, like every day, thousands of beautiful women try and get my attention.
00:48:40.000 And super hot girls message whatever account they can find that isn't even mine, trying to somehow get hold of me.
00:48:46.000 And if they're like 11 out of 10, somehow it's filtered down the line.
00:48:50.000 And eventually they end up in my life somehow.
00:48:54.000 And then I'll look at a girl and be like, oh yeah, I'm a huge fan, and you're so smart, and you're fixing the world, and the Matrix is not fair, and all this shit.
00:49:01.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's you. And then, I look at their page, and they're, let's say, out to dinner.
00:49:06.000 And I go, pulse. Is there something wrong with me?
00:49:10.000 I'm like, dude. I see you just at dinner!
00:49:12.000 Just at dinner! Yay, dinner!
00:49:14.000 Disgusting. Who's dinner? Who took it?
00:49:16.000 Who paid for that? You didn't pay for that.
00:49:17.000 Who you mean? How many boyfriends do you have?
00:49:19.000 How many exes do you have? Because they're at dinner, I don't reply.
00:49:26.000 Literally, if they've never left their house, I won't talk to them.
00:49:30.000 So I've thousands of women blown up all my fucking social media.
00:49:33.000 Please, please. I'm like, oh, if you're dead or no.
00:49:35.000 Oh, you want a bike ride?
00:49:36.000 Or wrong? I don't talk to any of them.
00:49:39.000 I mean, is there something wrong with me being repulsed by seeing a girl in a restaurant?
00:49:43.000 It's violent. Andrew, you sound bad.
00:49:46.000 So we're all the girls wondering why I don't answer.
00:49:49.000 It's because you had dinner. Three months ago.
00:49:51.000 Right. So now I want to talk.
00:49:54.000 My brother is a misogynist.
00:49:56.000 I, as a feminist and a left-wing, rational man, know that when you see a girl in a restaurant in Dubai and she has lobster and caviar and all these things and champagne and the bill's six or seven thousand euros and she's taking the picture by herself without the person next to her, I know that she paid for that dinner herself and she was just taking her mama to lunch.
00:50:17.000 Because women can have thousands and thousands of dollars to spend on restaurant bills, Andrew.
00:50:21.000 Don't be a misogynist. How dare you?
00:50:23.000 I'm sorry.
00:50:24.000 We need more women CEOs.
00:50:25.000 You're right.
00:50:26.000 And Andrew is a misogynist.
00:50:27.000 Take him to jail, please.
00:50:29.000 Send him to jail, he's a misogynist. You hear what he just said?
00:50:34.000 That women in expensive restaurants often don't- You know the best thing about McLaren's?
00:50:37.000 What? Best thing about McLaren's.
00:50:39.000 Let's say I'm talking to a girl and I take her on a date.
00:50:41.000 I can tell she's like a feminist.
00:50:43.000 I don't date a feminist, but let's say she has an opinion.
00:50:46.000 It's annoying.
00:50:47.000 I always take the McLaren.
00:50:48.000 It's beautiful.
00:50:49.000 Because if you take any other car, they can get in.
00:50:50.000 But the McLaren blows their mic's camera pad open the door.
00:50:51.000 So when you pull off, for everyone at home with a McLaren, or if you're thinking of buying a supercar, McLaren has to be your second supercar.
00:50:53.000 It can't be your first.
00:50:54.000 She needs you somewhere you don't.
00:50:55.000 Fuck off, I don't support that.
00:50:55.000 I'm sorry.
00:51:07.000 That's cool.
00:51:08.000 So if you're at home and you're thinking of buying a supercar, a McLaren's going to break down all the time.
00:51:12.000 So don't make it your first supercar.
00:51:14.000 It needs to be your second. You need to get something reliable like a Porsche and a McLaren, or be letting you have 53 cars.
00:51:17.000 But when you get McLaren, the best thing about it is girls can never work on the doors.
00:51:20.000 So whenever you want to date with a girl with an opinion, what you do is you pull up, or you're going to collect her, and then you don't open the door.
00:51:25.000 door. You stay in the car and you just sit in your phone for a second.
00:51:28.000 Sit in your phone, chill. And let them stand at the door.
00:51:32.000 And you wait 15 seconds.
00:51:35.000 Eventually, they have to humble themselves and go, you can't do the dog.
00:51:41.000 I'm like, just open it. I can't.
00:51:45.000 And then you open it for them.
00:51:47.000 You open a ring over and they go, I couldn't work it out.
00:51:50.000 And by the time they get in and close, all their garbage about being smart and a boss bitch and a CEO and all that shit's gone.
00:51:56.000 Because she couldn't work out a fucking car.
00:51:58.000 So the next time I'm like, oh yeah, women can't park.
00:52:00.000 We can park. Let's not talk too much.
00:52:05.000 But I didn't know how it worked!
00:52:08.000 Case in point. You want to discuss global politics now on our date?
00:52:11.000 Well, you couldn't open the door.
00:52:13.000 You couldn't even open the car now.
00:52:14.000 You couldn't open the door. You wouldn't even talk to me about you being very emotional.
00:52:16.000 You can't open the door.
00:52:18.000 So, that's the best thing about McLaren's, is letting them stand outside and gawk out the window at their little pretty faces.
00:52:25.000 McLaren doors are kind of hard to open.
00:52:31.000 For girls, Bailey.
00:52:33.000 I know now. First time I was like, how do you do this?
00:52:36.000 It's super fun. I always do it. I pretend I didn't notice that it couldn't work it out.
00:52:40.000 I You're holding your game away.
00:52:43.000 Sorry. The next girl's head of the day is going to notice.
00:52:45.000 Don't leave me outside the car!
00:52:47.000 Watch every beautiful girl watching this is how I'm Googling how to open a McLaren door.
00:52:54.000 Googling.
00:52:57.000 But here's the thing, all the girls watching this have been Googling how to open a McLaren door for a while.
00:53:02.000 But everyone's broken.
00:53:03.000 No one has McLarens. So I'm probably not going to take you out.
00:53:06.000 So you're probably never, ever, ever, ever going to need that knowledge.
00:53:09.000 Learning how to fucking fly the moon lander.
00:53:12.000 How many coffees are on this table?
00:53:15.000 And you know what's actually crazy about this?
00:53:16.000 This is a normal morning for us.
00:53:18.000 Actually. Because we actually scream 12.
00:53:20.000 We have this super competition with endless coffees.
00:53:23.000 And we drink as many as possible.
00:53:24.000 And these cups, if you're at home and you want to power up and have a real coffee on topg.com, you can get these exact cups, which make the coffee twice as hot and twice as strong.
00:53:35.000 I do like this cup. These cups, these are the old cups to take cups.
00:53:38.000 We don't care about those. It's not coffee.
00:53:49.000 I don't think people actually...
00:53:51.000 Or a closet... Closet something.
00:53:54.000 Closet dwelling. People don't realize how much coffee we actually consume.
00:53:59.000 Yeah. Because this is just the warm-up.
00:54:01.000 If we do go out...
00:54:02.000 Oh, it's coffees. We sit down at the table.
00:54:06.000 20 double espressos, please.
00:54:08.000 And they think we're joking, but then they bring 20 double espressos and we're just pounding them.
00:54:12.000 Yeah. This is the warm-up.
00:54:14.000 So if we go out... Caffeinate my bloodstream.
00:54:21.000 My whole life is caffeinated.
00:54:22.000 I'm a caffeinated man. I live caffeinated.
00:54:25.000 My name's Nick Oteen.
00:54:27.000 It is.
00:54:29.000 That's your nickname, I forgot about that.
00:54:31.000 Nick Oteen.
00:54:33.000 All of you who follow me on Mumbo are going to find out why I'm Nick Oteen in about 5-6 days.
00:54:35.000 in about five to six.
00:54:37.000 The episode's finished, it's just waiting on the release.
00:54:39.000 It's good. It is the greatest feat of human achievement that has ever been achieved.
00:54:44.000 Let's play music. It's impossible to be depressed.
00:54:48.000 The Lighthouse family, alright?
00:54:49.000 It's time to be depressed, go. This is depressing?
00:54:53.000 This is very depressing.
00:54:55.000 This is the happiest song in existence.
00:54:57.000 No one's ever killed themselves in this song.
00:54:59.000 Let's do it. Why do you not know the Lighthouse family?
00:55:09.000 The Lighthouse family. How could you be depressed if someone called the Lighthouse family is the light?
00:55:15.000 I see the light.
00:55:17.000 I'm happy.
00:55:23.000 Me too.
00:55:24.000 I'm always impressed.
00:55:26.000 People think this is something we're doing from really just showing our lives.
00:55:32.000 Actually, this is what we do.
00:55:34.000 Alright, so I'm really most depressing song time.
00:55:36.000 Yes Me We are Oh We are forever, and ever.
00:55:48.000 This is depressing.
00:55:49.000 Oh, it's happening! Show the selection to the world.
00:56:00.000 Now unlike my brother, I don't give a shit.
00:56:04.000 So Tris is like, this is this special edition.
00:56:07.000 It's got a fucking label or something.
00:56:09.000 These were $700 each.
00:56:12.000 Underneath we have all these boxes of cigars for like $7,000, $8,000, $9,000, $10,000 each.
00:56:16.000 To me, it's all the same.
00:56:20.000 It's wasted on me. It's like those wine dorks.
00:56:23.000 Ooh, this wine. Fuck off.
00:56:25.000 I don't like wine. I don't give a shit about wine.
00:56:26.000 Let's open a 40 year old bottle of wine right now.
00:56:28.000 Why?
00:56:29.000 I don't know.
00:56:30.000 You don't.
00:56:31.000 Me neither.
00:56:33.000 At the end of the day, remember the ways you came so close to the end. Remember.
00:56:43.000 If this song was playing the whole time in jail, people would love it.
00:56:45.000 The boss would love it.
00:56:46.000 I would have gone insane.
00:56:47.000 One sec.
00:56:48.000 I think I didn't go insane, John.
00:56:50.000 That's part of my brain in jail.
00:56:51.000 Part of my sanity. Nobody, anyway, I'm gonna say this again.
00:56:56.000 Nobody on Earth can be going through what we're going through and not give a fuck as buses be in here.
00:57:03.000 We only share peace.
00:57:04.000 I'm not giving a shit.
00:57:07.000 I'm happier than I've ever been in my heart.
00:57:13.000 Turn this shit on! Yes, my hair is curvy.
00:57:26.000 My hair is naturally curvy because I'm mixed race.
00:57:29.000 Is this sad? I hate this song.
00:57:31.000 So turn it up, please. Everybody Hurts is pretty depressing.
00:57:37.000 We've played depressing songs till we kill ourselves.
00:57:39.000 That is not a stream.
00:57:41.000 This is not a stream.
00:57:43.000 Wait. I have a song request.
00:57:45.000 In case my ex is watching, can you play Iris?
00:57:47.000 and can you play Iris?
00:57:48.000 Who's Iris? What's that?
00:57:49.000 Iris is the name of the song.
00:57:51.000 Why? Which ex?
00:57:53.000 The Goo Goo dolls?
00:57:55.000 Yes.
00:57:57.000 Oh.
00:58:01.000 Ha ha ha ha!
00:58:03.000 Nice!
00:58:05.000 I wish you'd have some of your Goo Goo on your face.
00:58:07.000 Your ex Goo Goo Doll.
00:58:10.000 No one ever brought my girlfriend to have a Goo Goo Doll.
00:58:12.000 It's such a depressing song.
00:58:19.000 Right.
00:58:20.000 Call me suicide.
00:58:21.000 Birds.
00:58:22.000 Let's start doing that again.
00:58:23.000 Birds.
00:58:29.000 Just hit your first cup, Alex. That's fine.
00:58:32.000 It's supposed to be strong.
00:58:34.000 Health and fitness. Teaching strength.
00:58:36.000 Can't handle a little fucking morning beverage.
00:58:38.000 But for that it...
00:58:40.000 It's pretty hot. Temperature is hot over here.
00:58:46.000 It was Alex, the world's smallest violinist.
00:58:48.000 Are we going to go out on our supercars, or are we just going to sit here and do this?
00:58:58.000 I'm gonna let you be.
00:59:00.000 What are we going to do with our lives?
00:59:01.000 What I'm going to do is I'm going to cut this paper into strips, right?
00:59:05.000 And then I'm going to hold it in front of my face as a jail simulation so I see the world through my eyes.
00:59:11.000 Now I'm happy. Jail simulators.
00:59:14.000 I'm going to start selling these. $10 million.
00:59:17.000 TalkToYou.com. Let's sell jail simulation boxes.
00:59:25.000 3D jail simulators.
00:59:27.000 Make that happen. Make that real.
00:59:28.000 I'll be selling these on topg.com soon.
00:59:30.000 That's...
00:59:32.000 That's...
00:59:34.000 This isn't the...
00:59:36.000 This is what your life should be like!
00:59:37.000 For everyone at home, you should be living with your best friends, drinking coffee, smoking expensive cigars, listening to Rocky theme tune.
00:59:44.000 This is a man's life.
00:59:46.000 Not just sitting around with your girlfriend in a little pee-pee, trying to get your little boner away.
00:59:51.000 No. This is what you should be doing with your life.
00:59:53.000 Like a fucking hero!
00:59:55.000 🎵 Too close to life, revelations 🎵
00:59:59.000 🎵 It's a pretty many life 🎵
01:00:01.000 🎵 It's a pretty many life 🎵 🎵 In his infestation 🎵
01:00:05.000 🎵 The real name is a testosterone boost 🎵
01:00:07.000 🎵 The real name is a testosterone boost 🎵
01:00:09.000 🎵 There is so much at stake 🎵
01:00:11.000 🎵 There is so much at stake 🎵 🎵 Stop the antarctica gas goes 🎵
01:00:17.000 On your shots!
01:00:29.000 Woo! You know what kumite is?
01:01:01.000 Yeah, I know what the kumite is.
01:01:03.000 You know what kumite is?
01:01:06.000 I don't. You don't know what the kumite is?
01:01:10.000 You've upset me. You don't know Kumite?
01:01:13.000 You don't know what enlightenment is.
01:01:14.000 You've never been to the Kumite? No, don't tell him.
01:01:17.000 My whole life has been Kumite!
01:01:19.000 My entire life's been one endless Kumite!
01:01:21.000 How do you not know what the Kumite is?
01:01:23.000 How do you not know what the fucking Kumite is?
01:01:24.000 I'm ready to learn. Cut him up.
01:01:27.000 And the first man's legend to be sliced up alive on our stream.
01:01:30.000 What does my knife say?
01:01:33.000 It says Rambo, First Blood, Part 2.
01:01:38.000 So when I pull this one out, The first thing you say, oh shit, Top 2's got a big knife.
01:01:43.000 Fuck! His knife says Rambo.
01:01:46.000 Shit, what's that song?
01:01:47.000 Kumite? What's the Kumite?
01:01:49.000 Then you die. I think this song might kill it.
01:01:53.000 I think a full grown man is not having instantly accessible blades at all times.
01:01:58.000 And it's not a joke.
01:02:00.000 They're literally every street winner than that one.
01:02:03.000 There's not a place I'm ever sitting where I can't grab a sword.
01:02:09.000 It wasn't clogged, but they took all our gums.
01:02:12.000 You were trapped with spam gums.
01:02:13.000 Yeah, they took all our gums.
01:02:15.000 But you did get all the gums?
01:02:16.000 I'm not sure if we can get the camera right in my house again.
01:02:18.000 Losers. Searched my house twice and found nothing but much of expensive crap to steal.
01:02:25.000 So you've never been challenged to the Kumite, who flew to the other side of the world to represent your country?
01:02:29.000 In Hong Kong. Are you Frank Douglas?
01:02:32.000 Can you break both of the flags with your bare faces?
01:02:36.000 If I have enough cigars, baby, come punch the safe door right now.
01:02:42.000 I challenge you.
01:02:44.000 I'll try to prove that the safe door is unbreakable though the elbow is super hot.
01:02:47.000 I have to do it.
01:02:51.000 And then I have enough cigars out.
01:02:52.000 My bones are intense.
01:02:54.000 Give a little boo-boo. Who must take?
01:03:01.000 See, what happened was, I was fighting the Matrix.
01:03:04.000 The Matrix was big and strong.
01:03:06.000 It was close, but I started to win with my Aikido.
01:03:09.000 And then as I hit him and he fell over, he grabbed some sand from the floor.
01:03:13.000 Well, no, he had some powder.
01:03:15.000 He had some powder in his short.
01:03:17.000 Blinding agent. Blinding agent.
01:03:18.000 And he threw it in my face and blinded me.
01:03:20.000 But luckily, the song came on.
01:03:23.000 Kumite song. After they beat up a little bit, it starts with loads of big spinning kicks.
01:03:28.000 Except for some reason he didn't move out of the way off.
01:03:30.000 And they knocked him out. That's the first one.
01:03:32.000 That really did happen.
01:03:35.000 Kumite. This is my life!
01:03:59.000 Why is it outside the world to find some guy who knows a different style and different pumps?
01:04:03.000 I'm beating you. I found this for real!
01:04:06.000 I'm on these fucking YouTube dorks.
01:04:07.000 I was fighting and he didn't have a camera.
01:04:09.000 I'm Michael BHS. Oh, gee. Who was that? Who was that? Who was that? Who was that? What is all the furries? It's right around town. Don't. We have to take the convertibles.
01:04:23.000 It's the last piece.
01:04:25.000 That's what we're doing today.
01:04:26.000 We don't want anything to do today. We're on this ass.
01:04:34.000 We're like, fuck! The lights have been better in the 80s.
01:04:42.000 We're 80s, man.
01:04:43.000 We live in the 80s. Our life is the 80s.
01:04:46.000 Training, weights, push-ups, fast cars, beautiful women, smokes.
01:04:52.000 Well, maybe it's a champion.
01:04:54.000 I'm a 90s baby.
01:04:58.000 90s? 90s, I know.
01:04:59.000 Fuck you! Thank goodness.
01:05:08.000 How do you have a song to play? Streets of Siam.
01:05:10.000 Nice. The ultimate walking through the town song.
01:05:15.000 In fact, I'm hiring.
01:05:17.000 Tristan Tate is now hiring.
01:05:19.000 Job opportunity for everyone listening.
01:05:22.000 If you are a student of the real world, I am hiring you as my official Streets of Siam mascot.
01:05:29.000 Your job is to have a big On your shoulder.
01:05:34.000 And whenever I walk anywhere, you play the song.
01:05:38.000 I get out of bed, walk out to the kitchen, I walk to one of my cars.
01:05:42.000 I'll fire you if you fuck up once.
01:05:44.000 If I ever take a single step, and this song is going to be fired, but right now I am hiring.
01:05:49.000 One million dollars a year.
01:05:51.000 Streets of Siam play.
01:05:53.000 That's the job that's now available.
01:05:55.000 I'm live in the real world.
01:05:57.000 This is a good live-stream song.
01:06:02.000 I need it. I need this song.
01:06:04.000 This makes me want to smoke.
01:06:07.000 Where's the car? Where am I? Amateur?
01:06:09.000 Is it going number four? It's my official theme.
01:06:31.000 If you make videos, affiliate videos of me, I want this song.
01:06:34.000 I thought that would be better before they changed their name.
01:06:46.000 Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:48.000 Old school. Live chat if you want to join in, if you can't hear the bartender like this, guys. That'll explain to you how it's done.
01:07:07.000 I'm gonna do a video interview.
01:07:09.000 🎵 Doesn't matter where I go now.
01:07:13.000 🎵 You know what they say about me.
01:07:16.000 🎵 Everybody loves a winner.
01:07:20.000 Right. So...
01:07:22.000 So...
01:07:24.000 Song off, let's conclude what we're actually going to do.
01:07:26.000 We've pitched many ideas.
01:07:30.000 And I think what we do today is sit at this table, smoking a cigar, drinking coffee.
01:07:34.000 You think we don't leave, we just sit here all day?
01:07:36.000 That's my final vote. Yes.
01:07:39.000 We have unlimited money, unlimited options, we can do nearly anything in the world.
01:07:42.000 Yes. You're sure that we should just stay here and do nothing?
01:07:48.000 All right. Who votes who should go out?
01:07:49.000 I vote who should go out. Who votes who should stay in?
01:07:53.000 I'm having fun. So it's three of them.