Tate Speech - November 09, 2024


Quit Quitting | Tate Confidential Ep 264


Episode Stats

Length

20 minutes

Words per Minute

115.80247

Word Count

2,345

Sentence Count

353

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

25


Summary

Tristan buys a van and wants to go see it, but is it worth it? Also, we talk about shisha and why it's bad for your health. We also talk about love letters, and why you should never smoke in front of your kids. We're back at it again with a brand new episode, and this time we're talking about how to quit smoking, and how to make sure you don't get sick as a result of it. We'll be back next week with a new episode where we'll be talking about a different topic, but for now, enjoy this episode of the podcast! Have a listen and let us know what you thought of it in the comments section below! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and we'll read out your comments and thoughts in the next episode. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the podcast, we really appreciate it! Love ya! xoxo, P.S. Sorry about the audio quality, it's not the best in this episode. We recorded in the middle of the night. We had some technical difficulties, but we promise it'll get better next week. We're working on it next week, we promise. XOXOXO. xo -P. -Eugene and -A.A. (Sorry about the quality of the audio in this one, we'll get it back in a couple of weeks. We'll get a new episodes in a few weeks. -E.E. - I promise you'll hear it better by next week! - P.O. Thank you, I'll get back to the quality next week :) -B.A., -S. ( ) -D. (M. (A.B. (E.) (P.A) -C. (C.A.) -R. (J. (F. (B.M.) ) (S. A. B. (D. M. (R. A) (A) (C) ) (A.) (A). (T. E. (V) (B) (F). & B. B) (E). (C.) (D) (M) (SORRY, J. (I. E.)


Transcript

00:00:00.000 He who made me turn into the vide, he turned into the vide, he made me turn into the vide, he turned into the vide.
00:00:15.000 Good night.
00:00:16.000 What's up?
00:00:16.000 Well, new vans here.
00:00:18.000 Come on, one of your purchases is one of your purchases is here.
00:00:39.000 Let's go see if it's worth the money.
00:00:42.000 We already have one of these, by the way. - What is it?
00:00:45.000 It's a Mercedes van thing.
00:00:48.000 Are you a fan?
00:00:50.000 A fan of your van?
00:00:52.000 Yeah.
00:00:52.000 I bought it.
00:00:53.000 I bought it because I can't.
00:00:56.000 Do you want to go fucking see it or not?
00:00:58.000 I'm tired.
00:00:58.000 It's a long day.
00:00:59.000 It's gone.
00:00:59.000 Listen, I'm the man.
00:01:01.000 I'm going to sleep.
00:01:03.000 Tristan, I want to see the van.
00:01:07.000 If you don't come see it with me, you won't be allowed in because you'll be suffering from a van.
00:01:12.000 I'll go see it without you.
00:01:13.000 You're banned!
00:01:14.000 From the van.
00:01:16.000 Alright, it's a pretty cool van, not gonna lie.
00:01:26.000 I'm gonna lie.
00:01:27.000 Alright, let's go.
00:01:32.000 Alright, let's let's go.
00:02:01.000 Wait, where's my seat?
00:02:03.000 Why are there only two seats?
00:02:07.000 There aren't two seats.
00:02:10.000 There's a way of making the seats work.
00:02:14.000 Ha ha ha.
00:02:16.000 You worked this out.
00:02:25.000 Yes, nice.
00:02:27.000 What?
00:02:28.000 For you.
00:02:31.000 I don't know what you're saying.
00:02:33.000 You're sluggering all over your she-she-pipe.
00:02:36.000 I am...
00:02:37.000 I'm Darth...
00:02:40.000 Darth Top-G. I no longer breathe air.
00:02:45.000 This is my advanced system.
00:02:49.000 To be stronger than Arrow 4.
00:02:53.000 Understand?
00:02:58.000 Yeah, great, okay.
00:03:00.000 300 grand, who cares?
00:03:05.000 Boring!
00:03:06.000 You work it out, faggot!
00:03:10.000 Nice van.
00:03:11.000 Thanks.
00:03:14.000 Tristan, I like the old one better.
00:03:16.000 I don't know how you need this one.
00:03:18.000 Nice, sir.
00:03:23.000 Thank you, Austin.
00:03:24.000 Alright, so no van.
00:03:26.000 I'm out.
00:03:28.000 Alright, so breaking the fourth wall.
00:03:58.000 I always film these love letters and I never knew if it was actually a joke or if it was for real.
00:04:02.000 You actually get loads of love letters every single day.
00:04:06.000 This is not a joke.
00:04:07.000 Yeah, these are the ones whose Instagrams I need to check.
00:04:12.000 These are already disqualified, these ones.
00:04:16.000 This one is every day.
00:04:18.000 What's this one?
00:04:20.000 Please, Andrew.
00:04:22.000 24 year old.
00:04:24.000 I want to speak to you.
00:04:27.000 Okay, we'll check her Instagram now.
00:04:27.000 Instagram.
00:04:30.000 These are on those.
00:04:32.000 One of those had really good handwriting, by the way.
00:04:34.000 Yeah, the poem was beautiful, but no Insta.
00:04:38.000 That's a tragedy.
00:04:40.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:04:41.000 This is the trash pile.
00:04:43.000 I'm going to shut her now.
00:04:44.000 Also, by the way, you might smoke too much.
00:04:56.000 What?
00:04:57.000 All you do, all day, every day, is smoke shisha.
00:05:00.000 Matter of factly, I think this table is a very accurate depiction of who you are.
00:05:04.000 You've got your weights, you've got your phone, you've got your laptop to work, you've got your coffee, you've got your water, and you've got your shisha.
00:05:10.000 This is literally your daily essentials.
00:05:12.000 Yeah, but I quit smoking and it made me sick.
00:05:16.000 You have been healthy since you started smoking again.
00:05:19.000 So now, I've quit smoking.
00:05:23.000 Say again?
00:05:24.000 Not smoking has killed anger.
00:05:25.000 I've never seen Andrew sick a day of my life.
00:05:28.000 Andrew, you seriously need to consider quitting not smoking.
00:05:31.000 I need to take my health seriously and make sure that I always smoke for the rest of my life.
00:05:35.000 Andrew, this is your body finally expelling all of the toxins that you've accumulated over all these years.
00:05:40.000 I run on toxins.
00:05:42.000 I'm toxically masculine.
00:05:44.000 I only breathe smoke now.
00:05:46.000 Are you refueling your body with the toxins?
00:05:48.000 Twelve hours a day, I only breathe smoke.
00:05:50.000 I feel great.
00:05:51.000 Andrew, this can't be good for you.
00:05:53.000 and that's it so so so so so so so so so so
00:05:53.000 Why?
00:06:38.000 On the side is one.
00:06:40.000 So you're wasting lots of energy jumping back to not get hit.
00:06:44.000 And sometimes they still catch you on the air.
00:06:46.000 You gotta move off at an angle so you don't have to move as much.
00:06:49.000 And then you're closer to count.
00:06:50.000 If you step back four or five steps, even if you miss it, you can't hit him.
00:06:54.000 Time!
00:07:11.000 You got to smoke in between rounds.
00:07:33.000 You got to smoke in between.
00:07:49.000 Is it not you?
00:07:50.000 Force out.
00:07:51.000 Come on.
00:07:52.000 Come on, set the pace, let's go. let's go.
00:08:11.000 I'm honking, I ain't got pressure left.
00:08:13.000 I've got all my breath for the last 30 seconds.
00:08:16.000 Come on.
00:08:20.000 Can you hear me?
00:08:30.000 Yeah.
00:08:35.000 30 seconds.
00:08:38.000 Now we're talking.
00:08:39.000 We're talking.
00:08:40.000 Finally.
00:08:41.000 Finally.
00:08:42.000 We're talking smooth.
00:08:43.000 Ashes.
00:08:44.000 We're talking.
00:08:45.000 Come on.
00:08:45.000 We're talking.
00:08:53.000 Come on, set the pace.
00:08:54.000 Come on, set the pace. 3, 2, 1, time. 3, 2, 1, time. 3, 2, 1, time. 3, 2, 1, time. 3, 2, 1, time.
00:09:01.000 Ah.
00:09:02.000 Yeah, back up.
00:09:03.000 Go ahead.
00:09:04.000 Alright.
00:09:05.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:09:06.000 It's fucking good.
00:09:07.000 Ah.
00:09:09.000 Ooh.
00:09:11.000 Ooh.
00:09:12.000 I'm trying to go on it.
00:09:20.000 Finally, a fight.
00:09:23.000 Power to your back toes.
00:09:26.000 That's where you get the power from.
00:09:28.000 I need a heavy back toe.
00:09:29.000 Every day.
00:09:30.000 Luke's jab is sick now.
00:09:32.000 A little sharp, yeah.
00:09:34.000 Sick and sharp.
00:09:34.000 Got a really good jab.
00:09:36.000 I thought it was shit.
00:09:38.000 Like I said, I think he fucked his hands.
00:09:40.000 What have you been doing?
00:09:44.000 Yeah, so even when I run away from him, I try and keep my feet in condition so that I can still back.
00:09:48.000 Because I like run, run, back, run, run, back.
00:09:50.000 And I hit you, but I'm sorry, it stops you coming.
00:09:54.000 I'll move and I'll cross the shoulder.
00:09:56.000 I'll move, I'll hook.
00:09:57.000 And then it slows you down a bit and then I get to rest and fuck around.
00:09:59.000 Your feet are always in position.
00:10:03.000 Your feet are never out of balance.
00:10:08.000 You watch every single video.
00:10:09.000 Your feet are always in balance.
00:10:10.000 They're always here, always here.
00:10:11.000 Even when you change stance, they're always there.
00:10:14.000 When you cross and change stance, that's hard.
00:10:20.000 You just do it seamlessly.
00:10:22.000 It's seamless when you do it.
00:10:24.000 It's like, you have to kind of think, oh fuck, it's changed stance.
00:10:29.000 It's like there.
00:10:30.000 But I think I'll clock that.
00:10:31.000 Like when you change stance, you give me this shoulder.
00:10:34.000 So I'm trying to hit that shoulder, but I've got to be careful for the fucking hook that's going to come round here.
00:10:41.000 You'll cross right, and then you'll hook it to get back to that stance.
00:10:45.000 It's good.
00:10:47.000 I tried it, it didn't work.
00:10:49.000 - Practice, practice.
00:10:51.000 - All right, then we'll do that one. - Because my left leg was my better kicking leg than my right leg, so I would cross and then body kick.
00:11:03.000 - Ah.
00:11:05.000 Can you show me that again?
00:11:13.000 I would jab, cross, and then left body kick.
00:11:19.000 To the hip?
00:11:27.000 Your left kick was crazy.
00:11:29.000 My left was better than my right.
00:11:30.000 It was crazy.
00:11:31.000 Crazy.
00:11:32.000 He had to be careful.
00:11:33.000 He was fucking sharp.
00:11:35.000 Like mad sharp, man.
00:11:38.000 Pro Cop style.
00:11:41.000 How many people did you take out?
00:11:43.000 I'm sure you took about three people.
00:11:44.000 Because I remember early days when you came up with it, you said it's like boom, and the guy was like, wow, literally, yeah.
00:11:51.000 It's always, it's always hard, but you don't see it, it doesn't matter.
00:11:57.000 If you hit with a tiny jab you don't see, it hurts so much more than the hook you expect.
00:12:00.000 Your body can...
00:12:02.000 Chi is real.
00:12:04.000 - You see it coming?
00:12:06.000 - You can take it.
00:12:06.000 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:07.000 - What was that?
00:12:08.000 - Heavy matter.
00:12:09.000 - How many boxes are fucking down with these?
00:12:23.000 25 to be specific.
00:12:27.000 You know what's funny?
00:12:28.000 We had dumplings for lunch.
00:12:29.000 And we had dumplings for dinner yesterday.
00:12:32.000 And we had dumplings for lunch yesterday.
00:12:34.000 We're dumpling guys now.
00:12:36.000 We had 25 boxes of dumplings for lunch.
00:12:45.000 We had 25 boxes of dumplings for dinner last night.
00:12:48.000 We had 25 boxes of dumplings for lunch yesterday.
00:12:52.000 We eat too many dumplings.
00:12:57.000 I don't think dumplings are healthy anyway.
00:12:59.000 Why not?
00:13:01.000 There's just no way they're healthy.
00:13:03.000 It's just a carbicide.
00:13:05.000 It's bad for your health.
00:13:06.000 Tell me what to do.
00:13:09.000 Thanks for the input, T. There, I said it.
00:13:13.000 Dumplings aren't healthy, but dumplings plus shisha are definitely not healthy.
00:13:19.000 I feel like I just need to stop saying that you smoke too much because you're not going to listen to me.
00:13:26.000 Andrew.
00:13:27.000 So we decided to finally enjoy the patio, but Nigel and Marcel can't handle the cold.
00:13:42.000 Oh dear.
00:13:43.000 It is cold.
00:13:43.000 Why are we here?
00:13:44.000 It's cold.
00:13:44.000 I can't take this.
00:13:45.000 It's draining.
00:13:45.000 It's draining.
00:13:46.000 It is cold.
00:13:47.000 The Atlantic Ocean is cold.
00:13:48.000 Fine.
00:13:49.000 And you need to get used to it.
00:13:50.000 I think what we're trying to do is get used to, because it's going to get colder.
00:13:56.000 So I think this is climatising the cold.
00:13:59.000 Because I'm starting to not want to go anywhere.
00:13:59.000 No boat jokes.
00:14:02.000 When we get the boat, I'm sailing to the South Pole.
00:14:04.000 We're not.
00:14:05.000 I am.
00:14:42.000 Marcel, I know you want to see the penguins.
00:14:43.000 The penguins are cold, Marcel.
00:14:46.000 I'm not going on the boat.
00:14:48.000 You're going on the boat.
00:14:48.000 Penguins are sick.
00:14:50.000 And you've got to get used to the cold because I'm going to sail the icy seas.
00:14:53.000 And you're coming with it.
00:14:54.000 No, I'm not coming with it.
00:14:55.000 Do you know what I can't wait to see?
00:14:57.000 You walk the plank.
00:14:58.000 I'm not walking the plank.
00:15:00.000 You will.
00:15:00.000 It's either that or you should get stabbed by the swords.
00:15:02.000 We're all going to have cutlasses.
00:15:03.000 I mean I might even get a motherfucking eye patch.
00:15:06.000 Up with this bitch. - Little parrot. - Teach you a lesson, nice. - Take your own his shoulder. - You need a parrot for the boat.
00:15:15.000 We might need a parrot for the boat.
00:15:17.000 We do need a parrot for the boat.
00:15:18.000 Can you train a parrot?
00:15:20.000 I think we all need some eye patches as well.
00:15:21.000 Yeah, eye patches.
00:15:23.000 Okay, I'm not walking on a plank.
00:15:25.000 We're not getting a plank.
00:15:26.000 Do you want to put a plank on the boat?
00:15:27.000 It's either that or we're going to stab you.
00:15:29.000 Stab me then.
00:15:32.000 At least I might survive that.
00:15:35.000 Once I'm in the water, that's it, I'm done.
00:15:36.000 A few moments later.
00:15:38.000 *BEEP* *laughs* You can kinda- You can kinda see it on the screen.
00:15:48.000 This room is smoked out.
00:15:49.000 I was wondering why the house was so empty.
00:15:51.000 Keep the door closed.
00:15:52.000 We're trying to keep our lungs strong.
00:15:54.000 Bro, this room is smoked out.
00:15:57.000 Don't let Andrew Shisha smoking rub.
00:15:59.000 You don't even smoke Shisha.
00:16:01.000 You smoke Shisha.
00:16:03.000 You never smoke Shisha.
00:16:05.000 What am I doing right now?
00:16:06.000 Well, you are smoking Shisha now.
00:16:07.000 What I'm saying is don't let Andrew's bad habits rub off on you.
00:16:10.000 There's four pipes in here, and I see three men smoking and one crying about the smoke.
00:16:14.000 Why don't you close that door and hit the pipe?
00:16:17.000 I feel the need to resist temptation.
00:16:24.000 However, I am kind of tempted to join.
00:16:27.000 What is it the Bible says about always giving in to temptation?
00:16:30.000 This is something like that.
00:16:32.000 Alright, take care of it.
00:16:34.000 More temptation is in there.
00:16:37.000 Can't resist any longer.
00:16:43.000 I can't resist.
00:16:44.000 Camera inception.
00:16:46.000 We all have our hoods up like we're in some secret game. .
00:17:04.000 Everyone knows our power.
00:17:05.000 The secret society of the smoke.
00:17:07.000 This is a very smoky room.
00:17:09.000 I think everyone at home can tell.
00:17:11.000 This is turbo smoke.
00:17:15.000 I'm genuinely surprised that you're smoking shisha.
00:17:17.000 You never smoke shisha.
00:17:19.000 It's a very new thing.
00:17:20.000 It's the cause.
00:17:23.000 It's important.
00:17:24.000 Why am I smoking?
00:17:25.000 I don't smoke.
00:17:27.000 What are you doing right now?
00:17:28.000 I am smoking.
00:17:29.000 Andrew, no devices.
00:17:36.000 Let's enjoy the moment.
00:17:41.000 You look like a big teddy bear.
00:17:46.000 Scare?
00:17:47.000 Smoky bear.
00:17:50.000 Nice.
00:17:52.000 Only you can prevent healthy levels.
00:17:56.000 Doing my best, old mate.
00:17:58.000 Doing my fucking best.
00:18:02.000 I've given into temptation You're so dark can't even see in that corner right there Racist!
00:18:14.000 I just need to bump up the exposure.
00:18:15.000 I thought we said no devices.
00:18:16.000 The camera's a device.
00:18:17.000 It is a device.
00:18:18.000 Faggot.
00:18:21.000 I'm documenting our daily conversation.
00:18:25.000 Alright.
00:18:26.000 What is it like living in the Tate household?
00:18:28.000 We just insult each other all day long and smoke an absorbent amount of shisha.
00:18:32.000 Suck Cracker.
00:18:33.000 You won't live very long because we're kicking you out.
00:18:36.000 Thanks.
00:18:37.000 I don't even have to smoke the shisha.
00:18:38.000 I can just breathe in the air of the room and I taste shisha smoke.
00:18:42.000 No air.
00:18:43.000 No.
00:18:45.000 I'll eat up our smoke.
00:18:51.000 Who can breathe in more?
00:18:52.000 You or me?
00:18:55.000 I did play the trumpet.
00:18:56.000 I have very well-trained lungs.
00:18:58.000 It has nothing to do with smoking.
00:19:00.000 Can I blow shisha through my trumpet while I play?
00:19:03.000 That's not a bad idea.
00:19:04.000 That'd be G. Yeah, it does too.
00:19:06.000 But you'd have to do it in a smokeless room so the trumpet was smoky.
00:19:11.000 I'll try that soon.
00:19:14.000 Alright, Andrew.
00:19:15.000 Closing statement.
00:19:17.000 Shisha's pretty bangin'.
00:19:19.000 Wow, I kinda did.
00:19:22.000 Closing statement.
00:19:26.000 White people are going to be extinct soon because you lost control of your women.
00:19:29.000 That's why.
00:19:30.000 Your women run your society now and you're like, we have one kid.
00:19:33.000 Gay.
00:19:35.000 Those niggers are taking over.
00:19:36.000 There's going to be shisha everywhere.
00:19:38.000 Arabs are going to run your cities.
00:19:39.000 Shisha.
00:19:40.000 Blacks don't really smoke shisha that much.
00:19:42.000 Never invented that.
00:19:44.000 What's busy?
00:19:44.000 What do blacks smoke?
00:19:45.000 There's something black people smoke that gets really smoked.
00:19:47.000 We invented mud huts.
00:19:48.000 Yeah, we did.
00:19:49.000 That kept us busy.
00:19:50.000 We did invent that.
00:19:51.000 We probably invented the Bell and Arrow.
00:19:53.000 No.
00:19:54.000 Well, black people are going to win that.
00:19:58.000 But we'll win in the end.
00:20:02.000 You have the clocks.
00:20:03.000 We have the time.
00:20:04.000 Just wait it out.
00:20:05.000 Jha will provide.
00:20:07.000 Ask a black man.
00:20:08.000 Jha provides.
00:20:09.000 White man built society.
00:20:10.000 Cool.
00:20:10.000 We end up building one.
00:20:11.000 Jha will provide.
00:20:12.000 We'll just get over there.
00:20:13.000 Let's take theirs.
00:20:14.000 Jha provides.