SHAGGY THE GOAT Part 2 | Tate Confidential Ep 225
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
149.54709
Summary
Tristan has a goat and he wants to keep it with him in his house but the problem is that it's not his goat. So he goes out and gets another goat. This time it's Shaggy the goat. The problem is, this goat is much bigger than the first one and he doesn't want to let go of his new pet. He wants to kill and eat it for some reason and he has a plan to do just that. Listen to this episode to find out what happens to the goat and how he plans to get revenge on the meanie Tristan who killed his goat and is now facing 7 years in jail for the murder of his pet goat. Enjoy the episode and don t forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Podchaser. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and tell a friend about this podcast and tell us what you think! if you like the podcast, please leave a review and tell your friends about it! and if you don't like it, tell your parents about it and tell them about it too! XOXO, EJ & Gary XJ & GABE xoxo - The Crew Music: "The Good, The Bad, the Bad, The Ugly, the Beautiful, the Good, the Ugly" by Jeff Perla - "Goodbye" - "Outro: The Good, Bad and The Ucheez" by SONG: "It's Too Effin' Goodbyes" by Jukebox Music: by D'Arnalden (featuring: "Solo" by Fergie (feat. ) and "I'm Too Sexy" by Pizzi & "I'll See You Soon" by Mr Pizzio & "You're Too Sexy For This" by Shadydave Thank You (Feat. ( ) (Solo) , "Too Sexy, I'll See Yaayeee & I'll Be Back" by Koko ( ) - "I Don't Have A Goodbye" by Gorms ( ) and "You Can't Have It's Not Good Enough (Goodbye, Thank You, I'm Not Good By Me" by Missy & I'm Too Nice By Me (?) "Thank You For This?"
Transcript
00:00:11.000
Like, now he knows me. He just keeps up a long cycle.
00:00:21.000
You know? Even the name goat is fucking cool, right?
00:00:25.000
So in my opinion, if you haven't got a go, go out and get one today.
00:00:34.000
Whatever this world can give to me, It's you, you're all I see.
00:01:12.000
If he's going to live here, Tristan, we have to show him how we live.
00:01:31.000
Concentrate for a minute. Get that fucking goat out of my gym, or I'll fucking kill it.
00:01:43.000
I fucking do. Come on, Shaq, he doesn't mean it.
00:02:03.000
I'm gonna kill this fucking girl Turn around in the empty city, turn around in the empty
00:02:08.000
city, turn around in the empty city, he makes me turn around in the empty city, turn around in the empty city,
00:02:16.000
turn around in the empty city, he makes me turn around.
00:02:49.000
Is that Rory's goat, T? Did you see any other goats in the house?
00:03:19.000
We're going to eat him. I'm going to eat him, yeah.
00:04:24.000
Rory called the cops on Tristan for being a meanie.
00:04:28.000
Yeah, that's right. Because Tristan killed his goat.
00:04:34.000
Well, I mean... Told them everything you've done, mate.
00:04:42.000
Very selfish. We had a whole game of UNO set up for tonight.
00:04:46.000
You're boohooing because Tristan killed a goat that we can all eat.
00:04:49.000
Exactly. Well, it's just the way it goes, mate.
00:05:00.000
Shit. Tristan, I'm sorry. Roy, it's all your fault.
00:05:36.000
They're big and strong and they have all these hot women, all these fast cars, all these armed guards.
00:05:41.000
Ratchet's really nice. You wish you'd been to jail.
00:05:58.000
I wish I was going to jail. You think I want to hang out with fucking Rory and have whiskeys?
00:06:15.000
Nice. That would be a useless sacrifice of a good goat.
00:06:18.000
You know, I'd be way better for my liver if Tristan goes to jail.
00:06:25.000
Patrick's Day, bro. And he's already talking about getting the whiskeys out, right?
00:06:29.000
I've been avoiding this. I can't believe he's fucking Irish.
00:07:07.000
Come and eat with us. You eat goat all the time.
00:07:09.000
You don't actually care. I buy dinner basically every single time.
00:07:19.000
Thank you, Rory. We were just beginning to get close.
00:07:31.000
Yeah. Honestly though, Rory, this is one of the best dinners you've ever bought.
00:07:37.000
I feel like he'll be part of you forever if you do.
00:07:44.000
Come on, Rory. Fine, I'll eat some of Shaggy in his honor.
00:07:47.000
Pass me a rib. I did tell you, when you showed me that goat, I said, what's G gonna do when you used to use the goat?
00:07:53.000
Well, G's about to eat him, because whatever's left of Shaggy isn't going to G. Because G's a real pet, not some fucking stupid goat you managed to pick up from fuck knows where down the road, shitting all over my fucking house.
00:08:10.000
Why was there a goat slobber in my Aston Martin?
00:08:13.000
Oh, I was showing him the cars. You haven't seen that.
00:08:14.000
You didn't see that yet. I was showing him the cars.
00:08:17.000
I was showing him around. I was trying to teach him tricks.
00:08:18.000
I was trying to toilet train him, but you didn't give me enough fucking time and now look at him.
00:08:21.000
This is what he's good for. He would have wanted it this way.
00:08:41.000
Alright Shaggy, I'm gonna eat you in your honour.
00:08:45.000
Good. Rory's sadness really complements this fine food.
00:08:55.000
It tastes absolutely awesome. Yeah, you bunch of fuckers.
00:08:58.000
You know what? He does taste fucking good though, I'll be honest.
00:09:02.000
Why did you bring a goat into this house and think I wasn't going to eat it?
00:09:05.000
Because I just felt like we needed a new pet and I was spicing things up a bit, you know?
00:09:17.000
I actually did have a plan, but now I'm starting to think twice.
00:09:31.000
There's no point in me bringing any more pets into the house, is there?
00:09:40.000
I've noticed that. Well, I mean, don't I hire the best chefs every day?
00:09:43.000
You think this is in tribute to your stupid fucking pet?
00:09:45.000
Because it isn't. I don't give a shit about Shaggy.
00:09:47.000
But I order the best chefs to cook my food every single day because I'm fucking rich, Rory.
00:09:52.000
Yeah, well, I just felt like he was a waste of money in the end because...
00:09:57.000
And I was literally just starting to teach him things.
00:09:59.000
He was starting to learn. You can buy dinner for once.
00:10:01.000
It's fair. You've never bought dinner since you came here.
00:10:06.000
We appreciate it, Rory. Are you thankful, guys?
00:10:19.000
I'm saying I would have eaten something better, so you kind of spoiled dinner tonight for us.
00:10:23.000
We've settled for this, because it's what you bought.
00:10:30.000
I can own that. So, I got you all a shit dinner, is that what you're saying?
00:10:33.000
Basically, yeah. I'd be eating better somewhere else if you didn't bring this stupid meat into the house.
00:10:38.000
Well, I mean, he's here now, so let's eat him and get rid of him and Jake and eat what's left.
00:11:00.000
I organize the butcher, the slaughter, the chefs, everything.
00:11:16.000
Where's that fuck Patrista? You killed my goat.
00:11:28.000
Thank you, Guinnesses baby. I think that's a good start.
00:11:51.000
Me and Trist will do 50 each, so, you know, I think we could start slow.
00:12:15.000
Let's do it. The sign does say, my doctor says I need a beer.
00:12:37.000
Justin, are you in? Someone pass me a beer, please.
00:12:54.000
Patrick's Day, gentlemen. Happy St. Patrick's Day.
00:13:23.000
I've quit. For religious reasons, Andrew doesn't drink.
00:13:27.000
So he just finishes one. But we drink religiously.
00:13:36.000
You pound this beer and 30 seconds later there'll be another beer.
00:13:43.000
Not like that. No, no, but you could do this one like that.
00:13:48.000
According to the BBC, people who look like you were the founding fathers of Iron Man. So...
00:14:13.000
Nice! Listen, as a ginger, even though you're not Irish, you should embrace your ginger heritage.
00:14:24.000
With the red hair? I'm pretty sure if I went to 23andMe, it would just say, white trash.
00:14:37.000
Now it's civilized. This might be the most casual thing we've done.
00:14:56.000
But look, there's good iron levels in this shit.
00:15:23.000
No, every time I come here, the first night, I get so shithoused that I don't come out for the whole next day.
00:15:32.000
We'll keep it civilized. Well, if you want to be gay tomorrow and sleep, that's not my fault.
00:15:48.000
Keep them coming! I'll tell you exactly what's about to happen.
00:15:52.000
I'm going to say, hey Tristan, I don't think it's a good idea that I get turbo shitfaced because I'm only here for a couple of days and came to see you and he's going to say, okay.
00:16:01.000
And at first, he's just going to call me a pussy.
00:16:03.000
But then, he's going to be like, you know what?
00:16:06.000
He's going to tug at my fucking heartstrings and then I'm going to threaten to go sit by Andrew.
00:16:09.000
Andrew's going to laugh the whole fucking time.
00:16:11.000
But with Andrew... I am actually not a pussy, so I'm going to drink, not because he's pulling my heart strings, but because he called me a pussy.
00:16:19.000
What's that? No, no, no. To be fair, I actually can see.
00:16:22.000
You made it very clear. You've got a podcast in the morning tomorrow, yeah?
00:16:25.000
Yeah. And business is business, and I don't come between a man and his business ever.
00:16:29.000
I still didn't realize this was a business trip.
00:16:31.000
I thought you were coming to see your friends. I told you.
00:16:38.000
That's cool, bro. Just sleep in my house and shit and conduct your business.
00:16:41.000
Cool. I thought, you know, I thought my friend Justin was coming to see me.
00:16:44.000
Turns out Rory's business partners in town, everyone.
00:16:51.000
Bailey, Bailey, let me explain something to you.
00:16:59.000
There he is! There's the Justin I know a lot of!
00:17:07.000
It's complete horseshit. I should have never shown up.
00:17:09.000
Should have never came. Then Andrew just sits there and laughs the whole fucking time.
00:17:14.000
They've been in court for a year. Let's go out of jail four days ago.
00:17:18.000
Justin, I got out of jail for you so you could come see me.
00:17:27.000
Let's say I got the first eight and it's a bad day.
00:18:10.000
It'll be fair enough that you can't participate.
00:18:13.000
Yeah, number three. I'm trying to wait for you guys and have a nice civilized time.
00:18:18.000
Before we push the pace, then I'll follow and I'll drag you guys forward.
00:18:24.000
Cappuccino. Like having a coffee with my friends.
00:18:36.000
Not at all. I'm on a different spiritual plane.
00:18:43.000
My whole life is chaos. When your life is boring, you want chaos.
00:18:49.000
There's no more beautiful feeling than boredom.
00:18:52.000
For me to wake up and go, I'm bored and I have nothing to do.
00:18:54.000
That's amazing. I don't want to fill it with madness.
00:19:07.000
Cheers! Can't wait to watch Netflix and go to bed.
00:19:21.000
I'll drink with Tristan. I have no idea what to talk about.
00:19:29.000
You're going to finish these pints. Another round of pints are going to come.
00:19:33.000
And they're going to start doing Irish whiskey.
00:19:34.000
Become intolerable and annoying. I'm going to drive off at my Aston Martin.
00:19:37.000
They're going to sit here thinking they're geniuses.
00:19:38.000
It's 9.30. By 10.45 we're all going to be hammered drunk.
00:19:41.000
They're going to come home around 11 and start screaming and singing songs and knocking on my door.
00:19:45.000
I'll end up going to a hotel to sleep and leave them.
00:19:47.000
And tomorrow morning... They're not going to be half as enthusiastic as they are right now.
00:19:55.000
When Irishmen are proud and glad of the land where they were born
00:20:02.000
Oh son, I see that men read too, upon this day When I was just a lad like you, I joined the IRA
00:20:19.000
Up the rock, get up the rock, get up the rock, get up the rock
00:20:44.000
We're on the road again, to the place we all belong Try to read on the wall, the pure, you know, and soulful
00:20:57.000
The boys of the old brigade I'm quite a little bit late, I'm half a step ahead
00:21:04.000
But I hope you take your first breath, something that you never made
00:21:07.000
Once you're in the city, you'll believe it I'm quite a little bit late, I'm half a step ahead
00:21:15.000
But I hope you take your first breath, something that you never made
00:21:20.000
Once you're in the city, you'll believe it tip at the box yeah
00:21:48.000
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00:21:55.000
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00:22:00.000
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00:22:03.000
They saw the paycheck and whatever he's doing is working.
00:22:06.000
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00:22:09.000
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00:22:15.000
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00:22:23.000
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00:22:29.000
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00:22:33.000
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00:22:41.000
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00:22:45.000
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