Tate Speech

Tristan breaks the elevator in Harrods and has to take the stairs to the other side of the building to get out of the lift. Tristan has no idea how he's going to get to the bottom of the stairs. We talk about inflation and why you should want to be rich and how it's not about how much food you can afford but how much money you can make by living a life based on how much you can spend on other people's shit. You don't want to go through life thinking, "I hope I can afford bread forever" right? You want to live a life of instant gratification and instant action? You're gonna get your shit together today! You're got to live your life with instant action, bang bang, boom, bang, bang! That's how you're gonna become rich! Listen to this episode and tweet me what you thought of it if you think it's a good idea and if you have any thoughts on inflation, tweet me to let me know what you think or if it's something you think is a scam or a scam we'll be talking about it in the next episode ;) Timestamps: 0:00 - What is inflation? 6:30 - How much food should you be eating? 8:15 - Is it better than bread? 9:20 - Is there any inflation? 14:00- How much do you want to have? 16:00 17:30- What's the real inflation rate? 18:40 - Should you be rich? 19: How much does your life depend on food to live on? 21: What are you going to be? 22:30 23:00 Is there a good day? 25:00 Do you have a good life? 26:00 What is your life on? 27:00 Can you afford to buy a Rolls Royce? 29:00 Are you a rich person's life on bread? 30:00 Does it cost you more than that? 32:00 Should you have enough money? 35:00 How much is your house next to your house? 36:00 Will you be more expensive than you can buy a car? 37:00 Have you got it? 39:00 The real inflation indicator? 41:00 My thoughts on the inflation rate of inflation? 45:00 is it a scam? 42:00 I don't know what is inflation or not?

00:00:02.000 Hey! Hey!

00:00:04.000 Hey! Hey!

00:00:05.000 Hey! So what's Harrods?

00:00:42.000 We're going to Harrods. Spend loads and loads of money.

00:00:45.000 More. Because we haven't spent enough money. It can't be around two.

00:00:47.000 Yesterday we spent a million. Yesterday was a million pounds.

00:00:49.000 We're going to spend more. We bought the rolls.

00:00:50.000 We bought the new roof for the house.

00:00:53.000 So we bought the rolls for us.

00:00:54.000 And then we bought, how much did I spend on Armani?

00:00:55.000 Eight? No, more.

00:00:58.000 Eight, nine. Eight, nine, ten.

00:01:01.000 Went shopping in a bunch of outlets.

00:01:03.000 I bought a wallet. This doesn't work, doesn't it?

00:01:06.000 Wait, wait, wait. I think it's no losers allowed, no babies allowed.

00:01:10.000 Alright, Tristan? Tristan, do you want to get out?

00:01:13.000 So you broke the lift. So now we're stuck in this hotel all day and there's no possible way- I'm taking the stairs.

00:01:18.000 Tristan? As if that's possible?

00:01:20.000 There's no possible way you can walk down three flights of stairs.

00:01:24.000 I bet you, our entire network, that you can't get down to the bottom of these stairs.

00:01:28.000 One, there's a trick. Two, I have control of most of our networks on my phone.

00:01:31.000 There's no way on God's green earth you can walk down three flights of stairs.

00:01:36.000 He was scared to take challenge. He was scared, wasn't he?

00:01:39.000 To be fair though, Tristan did walk up that Dubai stair thing.

00:01:53.000 Zero chance!

00:02:01.000 Tristan, it's over.

00:02:03.000 You have to walk back up.

00:02:09.000 You're going to hold back up.

00:02:11.000 I guarantee you.

00:02:16.000 There's no way. There's no way you're there.

00:02:20.000 There's no way you're there.

00:02:21.000 Oh, you're done?

00:02:26.000 Should've took the bat. Why didn't you take the bat?

00:02:28.000 That was fucking stupid.

00:02:29.000 Go to the rich! God, what's your new?

00:02:32.000 Tristan, millions and millions of dollars!

00:02:39.000 He's the loser. Not like that hotel.

00:02:44.000 Why? It's okay, but you have to, you want your room clean, you have to press the room service button before you leave.

00:02:49.000 There's good parking. There's no parking.

00:02:52.000 There's no parking, you're getting tickets.

00:02:54.000 How many tickets do you have?

00:02:56.000 This isn't parking! Yeah, but you can stop the car outside.

00:02:59.000 Yeah. But those aren't parking spaces.

00:03:00.000 Those are taxiways. Listen, Tristan.

00:03:03.000 I mean, he has been parking there.

00:03:05.000 I've stopped. If I stop the car and get out, it's parking.

00:03:09.000 Yeah, if the car stays there.

00:03:11.000 What's really gone wrong?

00:03:13.000 This doesn't make sense.

00:03:15.000 The entrance is a hotel that has no parking.

00:03:17.000 See, I like it because of its parking.

00:03:18.000 Park me. The inflation indicator is bullshit.

00:03:26.000 The reason it's absolute bullshit is because they're talking about a little basket of groceries.

00:03:30.000 Is that what you want to dictate your life on?

00:03:32.000 Is that what you want to base your life on?

00:03:34.000 Well, I can afford groceries or not.

00:03:35.000 That is the most bare level base life.

00:03:38.000 Food to live, bread, eggs, crap, right?

00:03:42.000 The real indication of inflation is the rich people's shit.

00:03:45.000 Because I'm guessing if you're watching this, you want to be rich, right?

00:03:48.000 You should want to be rich. You don't want to go through life thinking, I hope I can afford bread forever.

00:03:52.000 You want to go through life thinking, I hope I can get a London penthouse next to Harrods.

00:03:56.000 Hope I can buy a Rolls Royce.

00:03:58.000 You want to be rich? Let me tell you something as a rich motherfucker who buys rich people's shit.

00:04:02.000 The inflation on rich people shit is through the roof.

00:04:06.000 The price of London penthouses and premium property and expensive cars and boats is through the roof.

00:04:13.000 The inflation rate's like 50%, something ridiculous.

00:04:16.000 You would not believe how much more expensive this stuff's getting.

00:04:19.000 The only way you can truly measure inflation is measure against the lifestyle you want.

00:04:23.000 So when the government's saying to you, oh no, inflation's only this much, you know it's a lie anyway, right?

00:04:27.000 What you really need to consider is shit.

00:04:30.000 I was making this much, hoping to have a Rolls that cost this much.

00:04:34.000 And what's gonna happen next year is, you're gonna be making this much, and the Rolls is gonna cost that much!

00:04:39.000 Do you understand? You're gonna get your shit together today!

00:04:44.000 Now! I say to people all the time about speed.

00:04:47.000 I think I'm making it up. You need to act quicker.

00:04:51.000 Anything that's in your brain that you're half considering is a fuck up.

00:04:55.000 I live my entire life with instant action.

00:04:58.000 I look at shit and go, boom, three seconds of analysis, yes, bang, done.

00:05:02.000 That's how I got fucking rich.

00:05:03.000 You're gonna sit around and wait for inflation to eat your ass like a dumbo.

00:05:07.000 Get it together.

00:05:09.000 This is the best steak in the world.

00:05:23.000 I love it.

00:05:25.000 The middle one.

00:05:35.000 And the chicken as well.

00:05:37.000 And the broccoli.

00:05:41.000 The ketchup as well.

00:05:43.000 Eat it.

00:05:51.000 I just...

00:05:52.000 It is fucking good.

00:05:56.000 So Tristan, you think you're gonna find a way out of Harrods?

00:06:00.000 Yeah. No, you're not.

00:06:01.000 I am. It's like Dubai Mall all over again.

00:06:04.000 It leads downstairs to the place that we came in from this mall.

00:06:06.000 You've been saying this for three days.

00:06:08.000 It hasn't been three days.

00:06:09.000 It has. No one watching this is gonna believe that we've been in here.

00:06:12.000 You've been saying this for three days.

00:06:14.000 And how have we been in this mall? Three days.

00:06:16.000 Three days you've been trapped.

00:06:18.000 We're gonna spend three days in here.

00:06:20.000 I know the way. Good thing we won't get hungry.

00:06:23.000 I think I know where the food is.

00:06:28.000 Andrew, he thinks we're going to get out.

00:06:30.000 He doesn't realize how these places are built.

00:06:33.000 They're built like a maze to get lost so that you spend all your money.

00:06:36.000 Three days later, you finally get out, find the car.

00:06:40.000 I want to talk to you.

00:06:44.000 You have so much confidence, just like Dubai.

00:06:46.000 Tristan, how many days did it take us to get out of Dubai all?

00:06:49.000 Ten minutes. No, it took us three days.

00:06:52.000 I distinctly remember. We just didn't film at all.

00:06:56.000 Many hours later.

00:06:58.000 So, we couldn't find the stairs, we asked someone.

00:07:01.000 They definitely told us the wrong way to go.

00:07:03.000 Keep us in the infinite loop.

00:07:05.000 Tristan, I think we're going to be lost forever.

00:07:06.000 We are! Tristan thinks he knows his way out.

00:07:09.000 I think we've passed this shot three times now.

00:07:12.000 It's been four hours.

00:07:16.000 It's been four hours.

00:07:23.000 Oh, I'm taking another turn.

00:07:24.000 Oh, I gotta try right instead of straight this time.

00:07:26.000 After time number four.

00:07:28.000 Yeah, we're lost forever. I accept it.

00:07:31.000 Yeah. I live in Harris.

00:07:33.000 At least they have food. Yeah, at least let's try and find the food section instead of trying to find the exit.

00:07:37.000 I feel like if you try and find something to buy, it's extremely fast and easy.

00:07:40.000 They have food and we have money. We'll be fine.

00:07:42.000 Yeah. Okay, Tristan, have you ever lost now?

00:07:47.000 Going through the Eagles again.

00:07:49.000 Third time going through the Eagles.

00:07:51.000 It is true. Justin, you've already looked at this a few times now.

00:08:05.000 I mean, if we're going to buy it, we're going to buy it.

00:08:06.000 I haven't. So after his fifth time looking at these gloves, he's finally decided maybe he actually wants them.

00:08:15.000 I haven't looked at these five times.

00:08:16.000 Yes, you have. We've been here loads of times.

00:08:18.000 It's not true. Two days later.

00:08:22.000 I think this way to the stairs.

00:08:27.000 Day two.

00:08:32.000 Yeah, day two. We still haven't gotten off this floor.

00:08:37.000 So Luke, you admit Harrod sells good things.

00:08:40.000 Yes, they do. Can you admit you're jealous of this?

00:08:42.000 Can you admit you're very, very jealous of my sterling silver lined crocodile skin cigarillo case?

00:08:51.000 Not really. Huh?

00:08:52.000 Not really. You don't want one?

00:08:54.000 No, not really. Ask me for one.

00:08:59.000 You're just gonna say the same thing again.

00:09:00.000 Just ask me for one. Alright, can I have one?

00:09:04.000 You want a drink with your smoke? No.

00:09:07.000 Where does the Pope shit?

00:09:10.000 We all know where he shits.

00:09:11.000 Where? Where? We say it at least ten times a day.

00:09:15.000 We let the world know. Where does the Pope shit?

00:09:17.000 Yeah, where? In his hat.

00:09:19.000 Exactly. Why else would he have that big-ass hat that wasn't particularly shit?

00:09:22.000 It's true. It doesn't make much sense, does it?

00:09:24.000 The hat is ridiculously big.

00:09:26.000 Yeah, it's a little. But it could fit a lot of shit.

00:09:29.000 Big Vatican turds. Exactly.

00:09:31.000 So it's not actually ridiculously big.

00:09:32.000 It's just very functional. Yeah.

00:09:35.000 Do Take Off National know that that's where the Pope takes a shit?

00:09:38.000 No, I don't think we've ever said this to Take Off National before.

00:09:40.000 Take Off National is like 5% of our life.

00:09:42.000 I know. People think our life is fun.

00:09:43.000 It's 1%. It's less than 1%.

00:09:45.000 Our life is so much more fun than we can possibly film.

00:09:47.000 We forget. That's the problem.

00:09:49.000 We forget or it would get banned on you.

00:09:50.000 Yeah. Because it's us three, 25 girls in a hotel.

00:09:55.000 It's just stupid. Can't put it.

00:09:57.000 I can't record it. Anyway, is he allowed a cigarillo or not?

00:10:00.000 No. So that's the new question.

00:10:03.000 It's the drink one. And I'm always gonna lose to that one.

00:10:06.000 Exactly.

00:10:07.000 Telling the truth about the Pope was easy.

00:10:09.000 Is that a coffee loop?

00:10:18.000 It's not coffee. It's not.

00:10:22.000 It's not espresso. Mine's not coffee.

00:10:28.000 That's not coffee, but this is not pure coffee I don't like coffee, I don't like my food.

00:10:35.000 No!

00:10:37.000 I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.

00:10:51.000 you Oh, my God!

00:10:55.000 Hey! Hey! Hey! k All right, Hold still Fucking screw!

00:11:01.000 Hey! Hey! Heyyy

00:11:24.000 yeah my niggas

00:11:53.000 I'm gonna get you in the air right now man feel this shit it's not coming yeah yeah Cali I see you niggas going long yeah what do you mean come on let's go What is this? Ferrari.

00:12:17.000 You just bought a Rolls.

00:12:19.000 And this Ferrari's for driving.

00:12:21.000 They're driving this car to Spain.

00:12:24.000 Then I'll come back and get the Rolls.

00:12:26.000 The Rolls isn't ready, so I need something to drive in the meantime.

00:12:30.000 Drive to Spain? Luke, get in the car.

00:12:34.000 You can't just tell me to get in the Ferrari.

00:12:36.000 I don't know this Ferrari.

00:12:42.000 I mean, you're simply in a Ferrari, so...

00:12:44.000 Yeah. The Rolls horse isn't ready, so...

00:12:46.000 You can't just get Ferraris.

00:12:48.000 I can. I have connections.

00:12:50.000 Aikido. I didn't have a car.

00:12:52.000 I will admit. And now I have a Ferrari.

00:12:54.000 You did Aikido it. Andrew has the other car, so you got this car.

00:12:57.000 Exactly. That is a bit of Aikido.

00:12:59.000 It's Aikido, yeah. I told you I'd do an English lunch.

00:13:04.000 You did? I'm fucking addicted to wheat crunchies.

00:13:07.000 The pleb food. Food for plebs.

00:13:09.000 Listen, wheat crunchies.

00:13:10.000 Better sponsor this channel.

00:13:12.000 I'm actually super addicted to wheat crunchies.

00:13:14.000 I was just making fun of chips.

00:13:16.000 These chips are for poor people.

00:13:18.000 When you're rich, you get to eat, like, pure meat sticks.

00:13:21.000 And we've eaten a bunch of them. It's literally, for American people, they don't know what these are.

00:13:25.000 I don't believe we have them. Although I'm quite poor in America.

00:13:28.000 It's just... Chicken on a stick.

00:13:31.000 Literally chicken on a stick.

00:13:32.000 From gas stations. So, that's what rich people eat.

00:13:36.000 Poor people eat these, but now I understand why.

00:13:38.000 Wheat crunchies are fucking addicting.

00:13:40.000 They're fucking good. You're poor now.

00:13:42.000 Yeah, I'm poor now. I'm gonna eat my wheat crunchies.

00:13:45.000 Let me tell you something. I don't eat protein.

00:13:46.000 When I used to be a traveling salesman, the highlight of my week was when I had a spare 10-15 pounds at a good little gas station and buy all the snacks.

00:13:55.000 Now, I'm the snack man everywhere I go.

00:13:58.000 Wow. Andrew, what is this?

00:14:11.000 We're driving supercars.

00:14:12.000 Come in. What are we doing?

00:14:16.000 This game. Move in.

00:14:19.000 Move. Welcome to the real world.

00:14:22.000 We've been here. We've been here.

00:14:23.000 We live here. We do this.

00:14:25.000 We do this. My esteemed colleague here is going to drive us.

00:14:33.000 Number one, this is the Ferrari, the big boy Ferrari.

00:14:35.000 Yeah. Buggy man's driving us.

00:14:38.000 Which is faster, your Ferrari or this car?

00:14:41.000 We're on Spain. What do you mean?

00:14:46.000 We're going to Spain. We're going to Spain, Luke.

00:14:49.000 We're going to fucking Spain. We're in England.

00:14:50.000 Yeah, we're in England now.

00:14:51.000 We're about to go to Spain. So are we going to my home country?

00:14:54.000 France? No. Fuck France.

00:14:56.000 Fuck France. Fuck France.

00:14:58.000 Fuck France. We're skipping France.

00:15:00.000 Wait, how? Who's the poorest one on this buggy?

00:15:09.000 Alright, got you.

00:15:13.000 Are you French at all?

00:15:16.000 Are you at all French? No.

00:15:19.000 I've got 100 M's in respect.

00:15:21.000 Exactly. We're skipping France.

00:15:25.000 We're taking the boat directly to Spain.

00:15:27.000 What do you mean boat? You can take a boat?

00:15:28.000 You can take a boat to Spain.

00:15:29.000 But we have cars! Welcome to the real world.

00:15:31.000 What do you mean cars? That doesn't make sense.

00:15:34.000 Welcome to the real world, Luke.

00:15:36.000 Marcel is the champion.

00:15:44.000 Take confidence you might not know this man.

00:15:46.000 This man is a champion.

00:15:49.000 You do not understand. I've known Marcel since before, take confidence you existed.

00:15:52.000 No. Tristan, this man is a super champion.

00:15:56.000 I told you. Tristan, he's...

00:15:58.000 Ready to take lives. Ready to do what we've got to do.

00:16:01.000 That's it, man. He is a super duper champion.

00:16:08.000 They have no idea, Tristan.

00:16:11.000 They have no idea what I just witnessed.

00:16:15.000 They don't know. How many drinks have we had so far tonight?

00:16:18.000 I don't know. You know what, Tristan?

00:16:21.000 I wish I recorded the table as we left.

00:16:25.000 I did a disservice to take confidential.

00:16:29.000 Yeah. Yeah.

00:16:35.000 Looked him straight in the face and drank it.

00:16:37.000 I didn't do it.

00:16:40.000 I'm not even lying. No.

00:16:43.000 No. Marcel needs to take my place.

00:16:47.000 Tristan. Tristan, this man is the super champion of the world.

00:16:52.000 There's no replacing family, tell them.

00:16:54.000 Exactly, so Luke, you could never take Marcel's place.

00:16:57.000 It's true. This man.

00:17:04.000 You can never replace Marcelo.

00:17:06.000 He's the super champion of the world.

00:17:10.000 We've been drinking forever.

00:17:19.000 No one understands.

00:17:21.000 I should have filmed it because it's not real otherwise.

00:17:23.000 We've been forgetting we're drinking forever Okay, dude, you gotta turn that camera around This is my last one Tomorrow we gotta drive all day.

00:17:47.000 I don't see the point in getting so drunk that I can't function.

00:17:51.000 Oh wait, who's drunk Marcel? Who's drunk Marcel?

00:17:53.000 Who's drunk? We're all drunk.

00:17:54.000 Why are you standing up like you're gonna beat me up?

00:17:56.000 Hey, six seconds. You're not six seconds.

00:17:59.000 700 pounds. No, you're not.

00:18:00.000 Marcel, Marcel, take this back.

00:18:02.000 Why?

00:18:05.000 I don't know.

00:18:06.000 Why are they doing this?

00:18:07.000 Why?

00:18:08.000 Why?

00:18:09.000 We live in Dream Yacht.

00:18:10.000 Now, I should have recorded the table we left.

00:18:14.000 I didn't record it.

00:18:15.000 No one understands. It's gonna hurt you inside.

00:18:21.000 Yeah, for no reason.

00:18:26.000 I need a stiff drink. I need one.

00:18:28.000 I just need one. You don't need a stiff drink.

00:18:30.000 You can't just dance. I just need one.

00:18:33.000 Oh, no, no. By the way, by the way.

00:18:34.000 No, no. You don't know this.

00:18:36.000 Marcel's got the dance move.

00:18:38.000 Andrew, don't even fuck around.

00:18:40.000 Marcel's got the dance move. I ain't gonna help him when I beat him up.

00:18:43.000 I ain't gonna help him.

00:18:44.000 I'm not gonna get help from my people.

00:18:46.000 I'm gonna be walking in the crowd.

00:18:48.000 And I'm gonna be walking in the crowd.

00:18:50.000 No!

00:18:52.000 How did this drop?

00:18:54.000 That was smooth. That was smooth.

00:18:56.000 Andrew, Tristan, need to shoot off.

00:18:58.000 Two minutes and we're rolling out.

00:19:07.000 Make sure you're ready! What is this?

00:19:11.000 Welcome to the real world.

00:19:16.000 This isn't the real world.

00:19:17.000 Take off it until you all know that this isn't the real world.

00:19:19.000 This is the real world. Everyone looks like us, right?

00:19:21.000 You can just buy supercars, drive around the world, just crash supercars.

00:19:23.000 No, this isn't the real world. Buy a Rolls Royce.

00:19:24.000 Didn't even drive it or sit in it.

00:19:26.000 Forgot about it already. To be honest, I probably lost my mind.

00:19:29.000 This is all just fake.

00:19:30.000 It's all just me. I'm not even recording anything.

00:19:33.000 I'm probably staring at this wall.

00:19:35.000 The Rolls Royce guy gave me an email this morning.

00:19:36.000 We need to collect a car. And I'm like, maybe January.

00:19:40.000 I'm busy. I don't even want it.

00:19:42.000 I'm too busy. It's your fault.

00:19:44.000 Luke, it's not my fault.

00:19:46.000 So what happens?

00:20:00.000 Why do you have the lamp? Because I went to buy a phone charger.

00:20:03.000 A bitch. A French bitch.

00:20:04.000 Your mate. Yeah. Your mask's here.

00:20:07.000 So I don't wear a mask. Why?

00:20:08.000 I'm exempt. You don't accept exempt people.

00:20:10.000 How do you not accept being exempt?

STUCK IN HARRODS OVERNIGHT | Tate Confidential Ep. 114

Summary

Transcript