Tristan has no idea if he's a lizard or a human, and he needs to drink a glass of champagne to prove that he's not one of the reptilian lizard people who secretly control the world. But can he do it, or will he get into trouble with the Reptilian Queen herself, Elizabeth? Find out on this week s episode of Scandalous! Featuring music by Zapsplat and Mark Phillips. This episode was written and produced by Alex Blumberg and Alex Crossen. Additional music and production by Matthew Boll. Additional editing by Ben Koppel and Matthew Boll, and additional mixing and mastering by Mark Boll. Special thanks to Ben Boll and Ben Boll. The theme song is by The Weakerthans courtesy of PSOVOD, courtesy of Epitaph Records, and the album art is by Ian Dorsch. The album art for this episode was done by Jeff Perla and the music for the episode was produced and edited by Bobby Lord, with additional mixing by Ben Boll, Matthew Boll and Bobby Lord. The music was mixed by Alex Crosson, and music was produced by Andrew Ford, and produced and mixed by David Fincher. Additional engineering and mastering and mixing by James Wardlaw. Additional mastering by James Condon, and Mark Boll, with assistance from Ben Korte, and Alex Cradock, and a very special thanks to Alex Crossan. . The theme music is by Andrew Boll. The music used in this week's episode was made by Ben Bynoe. and the original score is by Mark Bynen. by Ben Jelloy. Thanks to Matthew Boll and Alex Corman for the music in this episode is by Ben Hall Music is by David Hall, and our editor is by Alex McElroy Thank you for the mixing and editing by Matthew Crossen in this ep. Music by Bobby Hall, and Bobby Hall and Jeff Perlan is by John Harrison, and his band is by Matthew Bell, and Matthew Crosson at the Electric City Thanks for listening to this episode, and Andrew O'Connor , and the rest of the music is out on the album by the band is out now, and on SoundCloud by Michael Graves and in the video is out here on Soundcloud and we hope you enjoy it.
00:01:38.000Gloves to cover up the reptilian fingers, but the most compelling piece of evidence I have found, this may appear to some people as a jacket, but I think that the lizard man has been shedding his skin in this room.
00:01:56.000Don't know why he's put it on a hanger, but this is compelling evidence of lizard behavior.
00:02:09.000Literally. To see if you are, in fact, human.
00:02:14.000As you know, I've been investigating my brother all week to see if he is or is not one of the reptilian lizard people who secretly control the world.
00:02:24.000It's important to note that alcohol can be fatal to lizards, especially when consumed in any significant amount.
00:02:31.000So as I sit here with my friend Bailey, drinking a glass of champagne, I insist that you drink a glass to prove that you are not a lizard.
00:02:43.000Well, Tristan, I haven't had a drop of alcohol in nine months.
00:02:48.000And I'm going to talk about that quickly.
00:02:50.000I'm going to talk about not drinking, because people who think drinking is extremely destructive, I want to make it clear that last year, we watched Tate Confidential.
00:03:00.000Don't shake your ass, I make the skull upset No no no no, I done said it Back of the class, I'm not a subject Even got a gal in her to be my one rough sex She pop the molly hard, but she no junkie Drift the corner, that makes you get upset Sit. Yo, I'm on it.
00:03:16.000I'm on the other subject I'm on the other subject Grab a cab, my dad He's getting home, low fried Ha ha, science Waldo, client PDF file ready New pan belly, can't hold pan belly Brat chicken, I ass down Send him down a medic Me have to store sheets, skull have to go to credit Bomb shakin' I count, I make the skull upset No no no no, I done set Back of the class man, I'm the subject In the garden gal, I be my one rough set
00:03:46.000She pop the money out, but she no junk yet Driftin' home, nah, that makes her get upset Yo, I'm on the other subject I'm on the other subject My clutch All we did was produce Oh Before you reverted, all we did was booze, yeah.
00:04:04.000And I truthfully, after nine months sober, don't feel any better than I felt when I was drinking 25 gin tons a day.
00:04:11.000I feel in great shape now. Maybe some men are just made of something else.
00:04:18.000And stay in fantastic shape and do fine.
00:04:20.000So it's nothing to do with health benefits.
00:04:22.000It is to do with my reversion, religious connotations.
00:04:25.000But even before that, I was considering stopping drinking because I thought, maybe if I stop drinking, I'll get more inventive with how I can spend all my money.
00:04:35.000Because, yeah, we can go to a hotel and drink and girls and have some fun or drink and chill.
00:04:40.000I thought, if I just quit drinking, then I'll be forced to try and find more inventive ways to entertain myself.
00:04:47.000And it turns out that that's not real either, because we already do the best things on the planet.
00:04:50.000Okay. Now I'm doing the best things on the planet without boobs.
00:04:53.000But, without avoiding the question, I don't drink.
00:04:57.000But you're not willing, on camera, to drink a glass of champagne to prove that you are not a reptilian.
00:07:45.000But when I was by myself, I could just go on it for half an hour and get a little bit tired.
00:07:50.000But then you had to come along and do more floors than I do.
00:07:53.000So I did more floors than you, so you did more floors than me, and every single day it's a half an hour competition.
00:08:00.000And we haven't had a day yet since you arriving that the person who goes first hasn't beaten the previous record, and the person who goes second hasn't beaten the other.
00:08:08.000So I'm basically going to do this for next week until I collapse and die of a heart attack, and it's all going to be your fault.
00:08:16.000Andrew thinks he can win and beat all of us.
00:10:05.000Fuck you! Lord, how do we do these fucking sips?
00:10:09.000We can go outside in the sun and smoke some cigarettes together and cigars as friends and work on our phones and make some money and suck up all the power of the universe.
00:12:31.000If I were to tell you that there are ways of making money which are so foreign to you, so alien that you've never even heard of them, you'd sit there and go, no, possibly that I probably have heard of it.
00:12:43.000If you've heard of it, why are you still broke?
00:12:45.000Modern University is the biggest scam in the history of Earth.
00:13:17.000We're already looking in three days to hit 15k so it's only going better from there.
00:13:21.000I joined like four months ago and I was pretty quiet in there for a little while while I was learning things.
00:13:26.000The knowledge from the copywriting campus and applied the systems of the freelancing campus to get my first clients and I've made about $15,000 in three months.
00:13:36.000I went from 3,000 net worth to 2.8 million and that was within six months.
00:13:43.000When a rocket is flying out towards the moon to escape the atmosphere, it doesn't fucking pause halfway up the sky, does it?
00:14:03.000Join the real world that I have constructed.
00:14:06.000We will teach you the easiest and simplest ways to make money on the internet that exists in the world today.
00:14:15.000Our school, the real world now, it is our own social media network.
00:14:19.000It's not on any other application, all controlled completely independently by us, so we can teach you anything without any kind of hesitation or delay or concern for what the Matrix will do about us teaching.