Tate Speech - July 06, 2022


Tate on Aloe Vera


Episode Stats

Length

5 minutes

Words per Minute

202.8321

Word Count

1,165

Sentence Count

4

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary

The story of how I made it to the top of Tesco, how I went from being broke as a kid selling aloe vera to becoming a multi-million pound a year business, and how I almost got scammed out of half a million pounds of my own money in order to get distribution of my revolutionary new health drink. And how I managed to get it into the hands of one of the biggest supermarkets in the whole of England. I'll tell you how I did it, so you don't have to listen to the rest of this episode to understand how I got to where I am now. It's a long one, but it's a good one, and I hope you enjoy it! If you haven't listened to this episode yet, you'll know that it's probably not as good as you think it is, so if you're in the mood for a good ol' rags-to-riches story then you'll definitely want to check out this episode. I'm not going to lie down and listen to this one, because it's one of my favourite parts of the whole series, which I think you'll get a good laugh at the end of the episode, so don't miss it. So if you've ever wondered what it would be like to be in a Tesco store, then this episode is for you, then you should definitely check it out. I mean seriously, you're not gonna be surprised by how good it is. I'll give you some insight into what it's like in terms of distribution and distribution in the early days of the Tesco empire, so make sure you know that you'll be in the future, because you'll have to be prepared for it's going to be a little bit more like that, I promise you'll hear about it in the next episode of the next one, which will be a bit like that... You won't want to miss it, you won't be disappointed in it, will you know what I'm going to tell you about it, I'll be telling you what you can expect from me in this episode, right? XOXO. - Tom, Tom - Tom, I'm in the middle of it all, and he's not only that, but he's also going to give you the inside scoop on how he's got it all on what it was like getting distribution, but the story behind it, and it's also why it's so much better than you'll ever get distribution.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So whenever I'm in Slovakia or Hungary I drink these because the first time I came to Slovakia
00:00:12.240 I had one at a petrol station and they're like a drink with chunks of aloe vera in it
00:00:17.960 and this must have been about nine, ten years ago and now I've seen these a few times in
00:00:23.640 corner shops and stuff but back then nowhere in England had drinks of aloe vera in it so
00:00:28.740 I was only like 21, 22 and obviously I was broke as a joke and I wanted to get rich so I thought
00:00:33.560 fuck it I'm gonna import these drinks and I'm gonna sell them in England I'm gonna be a sole supplier
00:00:38.880 and I'm gonna get rich so I found a contact in Hungary who could provide them to me for like
00:00:47.620 I don't know how much they were 38p or something I wanted to sell them for about a pound so then I
00:00:53.560 started contacting all the super stores I was watching Dragon's Dead about getting distribution
00:00:57.320 and I thought this is hard so I emailed Morrison's, emailed Waitrose, I started emailing them every day saying I had some
00:01:02.140 revolutionary new health drink that was uh guaranteed with all these bullshit results
00:01:07.460 da da da and I promised them 100% markup on it so I told them they'd buy it for 50p so I'd make 12p
00:01:14.140 per bottle and I'd sell it for a pound 100% markup
00:01:18.960 made that look like I was a real company
00:01:20.960 I'm 22
00:01:22.160 right in the way with all these people
00:01:24.280 eventually I get an email back from Tesco saying uh
00:01:26.720 because everyone ignores you because everyone's trying to get their stuff into super stores so they completely ignore you
00:01:31.160 got an email back from Tesco saying
00:01:32.960 I'm away from my uh as you know I've now left the business and my replacement is
00:01:37.220 Mr. Chris, Chris something is coming in to replace me
00:01:40.840 so I waited a couple days and I emailed Chris and said hi Chris we need to speak urgently
00:01:45.300 your predecessor and I were one step away from
00:01:48.600 achieving distribution pretending I'd spoke to the previous guy who left
00:01:52.660 who never responded to me ever
00:01:54.680 so then Chris emails me like oh okay uh
00:01:57.220 you better come down there
00:01:58.780 so it was in Cheson, Hertfordshire
00:02:01.740 the Tesco head office
00:02:03.460 and I still had a normal job back then so I arranged a meeting at like
00:02:06.820 5.30
00:02:08.300 finished work an hour early
00:02:09.800 walk into Tesco fucking head office in my Matalan suit
00:02:13.220 with four or five bottles of this shit
00:02:15.820 uh which I brought in a backpack
00:02:18.400 sat down there let him test it all
00:02:20.860 gave him my pitch about health benefits 100% bonus and all those bollocks
00:02:24.160 he gave me a piece of paper
00:02:26.060 saying how Tesco accept distribution
00:02:28.900 saying like uh
00:02:30.000 it needs to come x amount of bottles per crate
00:02:33.600 x amount of crates per container
00:02:36.300 like just all this expensive distribution shit
00:02:38.540 so anyway he said he'd get back to me
00:02:41.300 so I fucking leave there excited as fuck
00:02:43.840 call up my guy in Hungary
00:02:45.480 says I need it in this many bottles per crate
00:02:48.860 this many crates per container
00:02:50.440 I need to be able to deliver this many containers per fucking week
00:02:53.600 to Tesco stores London
00:02:55.260 all this bollocks
00:02:56.100 my man in Hungary goes
00:02:59.420 okay I can make this happen
00:03:00.620 it's gonna cost this much
00:03:01.960 so I'm waiting
00:03:04.120 and Chris emails me and says
00:03:05.340 uh we need to talk about your drink
00:03:07.700 are you free to come in again
00:03:08.720 I was like yeah of course
00:03:11.180 anyway in the meantime
00:03:12.680 the guy from Hungary says
00:03:13.480 it's gonna take me six months to turn around
00:03:15.480 preparing your distribution
00:03:17.160 I said oh no it can't be six months
00:03:19.240 no no Tesco want it now
00:03:20.400 Tesco want it now
00:03:21.080 he goes well
00:03:21.960 I need some money
00:03:23.320 to begin doing this
00:03:25.460 it's gonna cost some money
00:03:26.400 so you need to pay me some money
00:03:27.500 you want like two grand
00:03:29.080 and I had no money
00:03:31.060 like I had my month's wages
00:03:32.440 was about 1600 quid
00:03:33.680 came the next day
00:03:35.200 so I remember borrowing 500 pound
00:03:37.440 and my month's wages
00:03:38.900 and sending it to Hungary
00:03:40.000 two grand
00:03:40.920 the day before my meeting
00:03:42.980 my big meeting with Tesco
00:03:44.100 so this guy could begin
00:03:45.100 fucking pissing around with crates
00:03:46.460 taking my last hundred pound
00:03:48.120 to last me the month
00:03:48.920 now I'm 500 quid in debt as well
00:03:50.200 filling up with petrol
00:03:51.280 putting on my Matalan suit
00:03:52.380 walking in there
00:03:53.560 sitting down with this Chris guy
00:03:55.700 who was fat as fuck
00:03:57.220 I don't know what
00:03:57.940 of course he was in charge
00:03:58.760 of choosing a food
00:03:59.540 fat cunt
00:04:00.600 and he's literally
00:04:01.620 the meeting lasted 30 seconds
00:04:03.340 he said
00:04:03.720 I'm sorry that my predecessor
00:04:05.040 gave you the impression
00:04:05.800 we were gonna stock your product
00:04:06.780 personally I find it repulsive
00:04:08.720 and that was it
00:04:11.100 that was the end of my
00:04:12.820 aloe vera dream
00:04:13.620 he never emailed me back again
00:04:15.600 none of the other super stores
00:04:17.180 ever emailed me
00:04:18.180 I told
00:04:18.840 I kept emailing
00:04:19.560 we've got different flavours
00:04:20.600 wasn't interested
00:04:21.940 completely blanked me
00:04:23.380 everyone blanked me
00:04:24.560 the Hungarian guy
00:04:25.400 took two grand of my money
00:04:26.840 and I was more poor than ever
00:04:28.300 so now when I drive
00:04:29.820 through the continent
00:04:30.520 in my Lambo
00:04:31.300 I enjoy an aloe vera drink
00:04:33.000 personally I find it repulsive
00:04:35.040 I remember sitting there
00:04:36.880 thinking in my head
00:04:37.500 that was unnecessarily rude
00:04:39.140 he was unnecessarily rude to me
00:04:41.600 because he thought
00:04:42.440 he was important
00:04:43.140 I'm the fat dude
00:04:44.240 who chooses Tesco's food
00:04:45.520 cunt
00:04:46.640 bet he ain't got a fucking Lambo
00:04:48.180 I might
00:04:49.040 you know what
00:04:49.440 I might scroll through my email
00:04:51.680 and fucking find it
00:04:52.960 somewhere in the depths
00:04:53.840 and send him a picture
00:04:54.900 of me outside my Lambo
00:04:56.340 drinking an aloe vera drink
00:04:57.520 surrounded by aloe vera
00:04:59.060 surrounded by aloe vera
00:05:00.180 a big booty home
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00:05:43.620 bye