Tate on Sky Diving
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
201.0037
Summary
In this episode I talk about my first skydiving experience and why I am happy to die having never jumped out of a plane. I also talk about the people who jump out of planes and how cool it is to be in the Sky Junk Sky Junk Skydiving team and how to get your first parachute lesson. I hope you enjoy listening to this episode and I hope it makes you feel a little bit better about jumping off a plane than you do jumping out of an airplane. I hope this episode gives you a little insight into what it s like to be a skydiver and what it's like to jump from a plane and how it can make you feel better about not being able to do it. I know I know it s a bit scary and a little scary but it s not that scary, it s actually pretty cool and it s something I ve always wanted to do and I m not scared of the cold and the cold, but I don t want to jump in a plane so why not try it? If you want to learn how to jump out a plane then you should listen to this one. I ve never done it before and I ll tell you why I m happy to have done it and why it s cool to have never jumped from an airplane before and why you should do it too. I ll be the first one to ever jump out an airplane and I d love to jump off an airplane again. I d like to talk about it. hope you like it, I ll never jump from planes again, I d never have to jump again, ever again, not ever again. so if you wanna do it again, let me know what you wanna jump from one of those planes? I ll jump from them again? if you re scared of it, i ll jump out in the plane, i d jump from it again i ll be your first ever jump of course love you, brov so you ll be my first ever attempt to jump a plane and you ll jump in it, brozz you ll have a sandwich, broz broz I ll do it in this episode of the first episode of this is the first ever episode of my podcast, I ve got a sandwich , broz, I m talking about it my first time ever jumping out an episode of Sky Junk Junk, so I d be going to jump into the plane. .
Transcript
00:00:00.000
we're talking about skydiving so i've never jumped out of a plane i almost jumped out of a plane
00:00:15.700
i was in dubai and i thought fuck i want to jump out of a plane why not so i went there and i said
00:00:22.320
oh it's tandem and we're going to strap you to an instructor i said wait oh strap on to a dude
00:00:29.480
this sounds too gay i'll do it myself i want to jump out of a plane by myself like okay well
00:00:35.020
there's a one week course you got to do blah blah so i started going to these classes and during
00:00:40.240
these classes i accepted and i now understand that i am happy to die having never jumped out of a plane
00:00:45.760
not only is it a bit scary of course jumping out of a plane but on top of it all it looks massively
00:00:52.160
massively it just doesn't look pleasurable nothing about it looks fun when you start the training
00:00:58.140
process they explain how you jump out and they show you all these videos of people's parachutes
00:01:03.660
going wrong and how you have to you know pull your emergency chute and all these people who die
00:01:07.780
and all this bullshit but even if everything goes well when she described it to me my instructor
00:01:12.960
she that's another thing that put me off if you want me to jump off a plane give me a man to teach
00:01:17.000
me don't give me some fucking woman like you want to build confidence in me to jump out of a plane you
00:01:21.080
put a woman in front of me i don't listen to women i don't listen to women so i'm sitting there
00:01:25.140
and paying attention trying to pay attention to her female ramblings she's talking shit and you
00:01:30.820
jump out of the plane even in dubai which is hot when you jump out it's like minus five
00:01:35.840
so you're jumping out into fucking freezing cold it's all ice in your face it's freezing cold
00:01:42.640
and then when we are practicing on the harness when you pull the harness you just get the biggest wedgie
00:01:47.660
in history and then you float in the cold for like 10 minutes shivering what's fun about that
00:01:55.540
so i'm watching this going the cold put me off i don't like the cold once they said the cold thing
00:02:00.860
i turned to tristan said i don't want to fucking jump on the car it's fucking cold i don't like
00:02:04.780
cold i don't like i wouldn't jump in a lake that's minus five fuck i want to jump out of a plane that's
00:02:09.900
minus five it's fucking cold so i said when can we do it where it's warmer she's like well maybe in
00:02:14.040
april so that pissed me off anyway so sitting there blah blah blah and then i looked around
00:02:20.040
the skydiving room so i always thought people who jumped out of planes were like badass
00:02:25.400
like i imagined the skydiving school would be full of like military types or dudes like me you know
00:02:32.400
like supreme specimens of man but it was actually full of fucking geeks if you go to a skydiving school
00:02:41.020
these people are fucking nerds i'm talking about 20 full-grown men sitting around a tv screen
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looking at videos of their last jump where they were doing patterns discussing patterns 20 full-grown
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men look at tv screen hey man bro look yeah bro you when you held his hand you need to do the inverse
00:03:02.300
flip and then all of them running and getting on skateboards and then skateboarding around the floor
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geeks bruv i was like what the fuck is this it was probably the most geeky shit i've ever seen in my
00:03:21.120
life these are adults talking about holding hands walking around in patterns together trying to do hand
00:03:28.240
holding fucking nerds to add to that most of these people who jump out of planes that's all they do
00:03:35.180
that's their whole life is jumping out of planes so they don't do anything else so they ain't got
00:03:39.340
careers they ain't got like hot wives and supercars they ain't got shit to lose like me they ain't got
00:03:45.200
shit they just they just float around the world and jump out of planes like one guy there goes yeah i
00:03:50.460
just live at the skydive school and i pack parachutes so he spends all day packing people's
00:03:55.400
parachutes for them for tips so he has enough money to eat and sleeps on the floor of the school
00:04:01.140
so we can jump out of planes all day so everyone is broke and this dude was there and he's like
00:04:08.060
hey man he's like hi hey is your first jump it's like yeah he goes hey man for your first jump you want
00:04:13.200
to wear you want to wear our t-shirt for our our team so what's your team he goes we're called sky
00:04:18.740
junk sky i was like sky junk well are you are you junk like are you good no no we're really good
00:04:26.000
why do you call yourself junk if you're good he's like yeah yeah anyway so here's our blazer
00:04:31.400
it's 25 trying to sell me a motherfucking t-shirt so he could buy a sandwich i was like no it's fine
00:04:37.100
bro he goes you need to jump out of the plane in something i was like yeah i'm wearing a t-shirt
00:04:42.220
motherfucker i don't need your t-shirt i mean in something i mean he should have come up and offered
00:04:46.820
me a fucking parka if he would have offered me a fucking big coat i probably took off him because i
00:04:51.100
can't find one to buy and i'm jumping out minus five try to sell me a motherfucking t-shirt
00:04:54.540
sky junk there ain't nothing junk about this pussy whole place is full of nerds dorks geeks
00:05:02.180
losers society's outcasts and then it clicked that's why you jump out of planes in the first
00:05:08.380
place there ain't no man out there with supercars with 10 beautiful women with a company to run with
00:05:15.880
a big-ass house with a cigar lounge inside of it who thinks i need to jump out of planes it's dudes
00:05:22.520
with nothing going for themselves no girl they've been playing dungeons and dragons their whole lives
00:05:27.800
they find anything to do something else nobody respects them on the street nobody cares if they
00:05:32.180
live or die if their parachute doesn't work and they splatter into the ground no one gives a fuck
00:05:36.440
one less loser they ain't got nothing to lose so they meet some other losers and they decide hey
00:05:42.000
if we all jump out of planes we can hold hands in a circle and you can film on your gopro and
00:05:48.040
afterwards we can watch it on the tv and see how symmetrical our circle was and then you can jerk
00:05:54.280
him off and i'll jerk him off and we'll all jerk off in a circle jerk no thanks jumping out of planes
00:06:01.580
is officially for geeks and that is why on the third day of my five-day course i sat there and said to my
00:06:08.320
instructor i've decided i don't jump out of plane anymore she goes no don't worry what it's not scary
00:06:12.400
once you're up there i said no this has nothing to do with fear i've decided i don't want to jump out
00:06:16.640
plane anymore it's cold and it's for nerds so what i'm gonna do instead and if you watch take
00:06:22.460
confidential you can see me do exactly this there's a link to take confidential below what i'm gonna do
00:06:26.840
instead is go rent a lamborghini and tear through the mountains because that's what g's do g's don't
00:06:32.360
jump out of motherfucking planes the only thing that was a kind of a little bit cool was wingsuits
00:06:36.280
but there you have to look at life like do you need to risk your life completely to enjoy your life
00:06:45.000
it's a genuine question do you need to risk dying to appreciate breathing if true if that's if the
00:06:53.400
case is yes if the answer is yes i need to risk dying to appreciate breathing then your life is pretty
00:06:57.940
boring i don't need to risk dying to appreciate breathing i can appreciate my life right here i don't
00:07:02.760
need to risk dying there was one guy who was a australian soldier who i was with and he was
00:07:07.980
talking about how he jumped out of planes that are completely different you're a soldier you're
00:07:12.080
jumping out of a plane for a reason and you ain't jumping out of a plane with a bunch of fucking dorks
00:07:15.740
if you're fucking a wingsuit but you got an ak and you're about to fucking dive into enemy territory
00:07:19.860
and shoot a bunch of people i completely get it that's a method of transport that's a mode of
00:07:24.280
transport i understand that is completely different from fucking circle jerk bullshit which is what
00:07:30.440
skydiving schools is full of skydiving is for dorks