Tate on Smart Devices
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
202.11899
Summary
In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how Siri is a dickhead, and how the CIA is spying on you, and why you should get one of those Amazon Echo's. I also talk about why I don t want to buy one of them, because they re not only more convenient than Siri, but they re also more spying on me than I could ever possibly be. If you like what you hear here, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, and don t forget to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform so you never miss an episode. I ll be back next week with a new episode of The Dark Side Of, hosted by John Rocha! Subscribe, Like, and Share this episode with your friends so they can also be notified when the next episode is available. Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends about this podcast! Timestamps: 3:00 - Siri's a dick head 4:30 - How many people actually use Siri? 5:40 - How often do I use it? 6:15 - Is Siri listening to me? 7:00- What kind of people do I spy on you? 8:20 - Is it more convenient? 9:30- Is Amazon listening to you than other people? 11:40- Are you spying on yourself? 12:00 13: What do you spy on me now? 15: Is Amazon Echo listening to my every second? 16: Can I trust Amazon Echo or not? 17: Should I buy one? 18: Is it spying on myself? 19:20- Is the CIA spying on my personal information? 21:00 Do you have to be a spy? 22:30 23:10 - Can I buy an Echo? 25:30 Are you a spy by Amazon Echoes? 26:10 27:30 Can I get an Echo with an Echo by Amazon Echo by a smart phone? 29:00 Can I have an Echo hear me in my room? ? 32: What does Amazon Echo spy on my playlist? 35:30 Do I have a $20k? 33:00 Should I get a $1,000,000 or $5,000? 36:00? 37:00 Is it better than a $10k device?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
I'm doing an intro spin. I'll do it twice. I'm upping the visual effects as you can see.
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Right. Do you want to know how you can tell if someone's a dickhead instantly if they talk to
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their phone? Who the fuck on the planet actually uses Siri? I'm serious now. This is a serious
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question. Who have you ever seen? Hey Siri, can you Google the nearest gay sauna? What kind of
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bullshit is that? It doesn't matter. Firstly, it's not more convenient. In no realm is it more
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convenient. The number of times it's going to mishear you and you're going to have to do it
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again is not proportional to the fractions of a second you're going to save as opposed to just
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typing it in, especially if you're in a noisy environment. It's not convenient. So let's
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fucking, first let's cut that crap. The only people who are doing it are some kind of fucking
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weird, fucked up sexual predators who think, yeah, you heard me. If you use Siri, you're a sexual
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predator. There's no other reason you'd possibly use it because you're trying to fucking attract
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some attention and show to the world how technically savvy you are. Oh look, oh hey Siri, how do I hide
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my identity in child sex videos online? It's bullshit. No one should ever, ever do that. In fact, in the
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history of my fantastic life, I think I've seen someone do it maybe twice. I remember being on the
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train seeing some dude, hey Siri, talking away. It's like, you motherfucker. I've never been so
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tempted to just like, you know, like on back. I was thinking I could jump over all three rows,
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fly over that granny's head with an elbow and bam, take him out for life. There's no need to do that
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shit. Now what's worse than Siri is, as you'll notice, I have an Android and an iPhone because I'm a G and I've
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got it all. A Lambo, an Aston, a Bentley, a Range Rover, an Hydro, an iPhone. Big dick. Anyway, what's
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even worse than Siri is fucking Android have come along thinking, maybe people use Siri. Let's make
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one. Bixby. The fuck is Bixby? So now I'm on my Android, I'm trying to do something. I pressed the
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wrong button. Bixby chat. Siri's bullshit, but Bixby is some serious bullshit. You're never going to see
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anyone talking to Siri, but you're definitely not going to see anyone talking to fucking Bixby.
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What does Bixby know? Nothing. While we're on subject of all this talking bullshit, I'm tired of
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everyone trying to make me buy because I've had a few fucking dorks come along and say,
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Tate, you know, you should buy one of them Amazon Echoes so that the CIA can spy on you. Do you know
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how difficult it used to be for the intelligence agencies? Let me tell you something about my father.
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Five times Armed Forces chess champion. As you know, he's a world level chess player.
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My father worked in the CIA for years, and he has told me stories which I'm not going to tell you
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on YouTube, and I will tell you now. My father was literally a spy for the CIA, and they used to do
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insane things that you wouldn't believe, even inside of a coat hanger, to bug a room. Do you have any
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idea how difficult it is to bug a room? It used to be extremely difficult to bug a room, and now
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motherfuckers are bugging themselves. Oh, the Amazon Echo. Let me just put it there, and it listens to me
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24 hours a day because every time I say, hey, Echo, it hears me. So it listens to me 24 hours a day,
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and I put it on charge and put it right in the middle of the room so it can hear me, and I trust
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that the CIA and all these other intelligence agencies are never, ever, ever listening in,
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even though Google have been proven, along with Apple, to have all our personal information
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ever, and Facebook has our personal information ever. I'm still going to spy on myself because instead
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of clicking play on my playlist, I want to say to Amazon Echo, can you play Britney Spears?
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What kind of fucking moron are you? Just click play on a playlist. Do you have to bug yourself and give
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up your entire personal fucking privacy because you don't want to click play? Is it that much more
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convenient? I refuse to believe it's more convenient. I'm a multi-millionaire. There's been times in my life
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I'm sitting in a room with pure scumbag criminals with a million dollars in cash and 20 big booty hoes
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and a bunch of unlicensed firearms. The last thing I need is fucking Amazon Echo listening to my fucking
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conversation. And if you're sitting here thinking, oh well, I don't do those kind of things, so it's fine
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for me. No, it's not because we live in an era of absolute destruction upon the modern Western male.
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And I'll tell you something. One day when there's a girl around your house, you've just been out,
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you've been drinking, whatever, whatever. You're sitting there drinking. You give her a kiss. They'll
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come to the room. Oh, I don't know. Oh, come on, come on. Oh, I'm not sure. Okay. And eventually she
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agrees and goes with you. And then she turns around and accuses you of rape later on. You can say,
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well, she, I asked her to come and eventually she agreed and they listened to your Amazon Echo and she
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said, well, she did agree, but she did actually say no. And then she agreed and they ended up fucking
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putting you in jail. Some Amazon Echo bullshit. There's like six girls in this house and they
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won't shut the fuck up. All some Amazon Echo bullshit. You're going to be sitting there going,
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was it really worth it to play my music a millisecond faster? Is it even quicker to say
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Amazon Echo play Backstreet Boys quicker than click on click and playing your fucking Backstreet Boys? No.
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Talking to devices is stupid. Bugging yourself is fucking stupid. Talking to, hey Siri, hey Bixby,
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anal dildo, largest anal dildo on Amazon. Hey, Amazon Echo, huge anal dildo. Get a fucking life.
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I hate that shit. You know I'm right about that one.
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I hate that shit. You know I hate that shit. That shit. That shit. Turning to, hey I'm right about that shit.
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I hate that shit. You know I hate it. What you have to say. I hate it.
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I hate it. I hate it. You know I hate it. You know I hate it. You know I hate to hear it.
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I hate it. You know I hate it. I hate it. But I hate it. Thank you may face it.
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You have to push it out. I hate it. I hate it. It's nice. And they know you, you know I hate it.
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It's nice thing to just listen to it. I hate it.
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You Broncoס have it recently. I always say I hate it.
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I love it. I hate it. And I hate it. I hate it.