Tate Speech


Tates Takeover Paris | Tate Confidential Ep. 153


Summary

This week, the boys talk about the Eiffel Tower, the moon landing, and the first time they met a black guy. Also, we have a special guest on the pod, Justin. Justin is a stand-up comedian, writer, and podcaster. He's been around the block and has a great sense of humor. He also happens to be a very good friend of mine and I really enjoyed having him on the show. I hope you enjoy this episode, it was a lot of fun and I hope it makes you feel a little buzzed! XOXO, EJ & Justin (feat. Justin & EJ) xoxo, Justin and EJ and Ej (EJ & Ej) (Justin + EJ). This episode was brought to you by Gimlet Media and produced by Vevolution.co.nz. If you like music, music, comedy, or just want to support a good cause, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and support this podcast by becoming a patron. It helps spread the word about this podcast. ! Thank you so much to our sponsors, we appreciate you! , and we really appreciate the support. We really appreciate it. Thank you for all the support, we really do appreciate all the love, support, and support. We can't wait to do more of this in the future, we'll be looking out for you in 2020! Xxoxo. - EJ, Ej, Justin, EK, E. EJ and EKitty, Ej & E.J. (and EJ (E. ) , EJ. (Elliott - Justin, and E.B. (A.J., E.A. ( ) . E.S. (J.J.) J. (P. (C) (AJ, J.E. (R.A., J.C. (D. (M. (S.A.)) ) (A) (MARCY ( ) ) (PJ ( ) & EK ( )) ( ) (SORRY J.R. (TAYO ( ) ). ) . (JAYO) (JACOB ( ) , E.O. (BJ (J) )


Transcript

00:00:02.000 Just saying. I don't know if anyone on Tech Confidential notices.
00:00:07.000 Marcel's black. On the road again!
00:00:40.000 Just can't wait to be on the road again!
00:00:43.000 Let's go! Fuckas!
00:00:46.000 Fuckas! Fuckas!
00:00:50.000 FUCK YEAH!
00:00:52.000 Yes!
00:00:54.000 I'm going to the gym.
00:01:38.000 Excuse me. It is raining so hard because it's France.
00:01:46.000 Nothing is good in France.
00:01:48.000 How is France so shit?
00:01:50.000 Yes.
00:01:52.000 There's very many bunkers.
00:01:54.000 What?
00:01:56.000 Turn this down.
00:01:58.000 What is down?
00:02:00.000 This guy's arguing. He's saying there's seven seatbelts and there's nine people.
00:02:05.000 Yeah, it's France.
00:02:09.000 This is all your fault.
00:02:11.000 How's my
00:02:39.000 Only friends having pouring pouring rain heavy raindrops I'm so No I Spokes?
00:02:53.000 He can't spoke.
00:02:54.000 What do you mean? We don't actually have any.
00:03:38.000 I refuse to believe everyone's had a sip and that's where we're at.
00:03:42.000 Let me show you guys a real sip.
00:03:44.000 Let me show you a real sip.
00:03:46.000 Ready? I'm going to drink like a man now.
00:03:49.000 Oh, I just did.
00:03:52.000 I did what all you did and woke up.
00:03:55.000 I'm a rider over the river, I'm a marshal of the military.
00:04:00.000 Miss Kitty, have you ever thought of running away?
00:04:05.000 Settling down, would you marry me?
00:04:08.000 If I asked you twice and begged you pretty please?
00:04:12.000 She'd have said yes in a New York minute.
00:04:16.000 Oh, thanks.
00:04:16.000 ♪ He never tied the knots ♪ His heart wasn't in it ♪ He stole a kiss ♪ As he drove away ♪ He never hung his hat up ♪ At Kitty's place Oh, thanks.
00:04:28.000 ♪ I shoulda been a cowboy ♪ I shoulda learned to roll the rod ♪ Wearing my six to the right of my pony ♪ On the cattle drive ♪ Stealing the young girl's hearts ♪ Just like Gene and Roy ♪ Singing those campfire songs ♪ Oh, I shoulda been a cowboy
00:04:57.000 ♪ I shoulda had a side to lean ♪ On and main ♪ Runnin' wild through the city Oh, man.
00:05:06.000 How could you do that?
00:05:07.000 Marcel, can you do that one?
00:05:09.000 Ready? I just did it. Do the move.
00:05:11.000 Show me the move. Do the move.
00:05:12.000 Show me the move. Okay, I got to do it again now.
00:05:14.000 I'm using my powers up. My meters up.
00:05:17.000 Your turn. I need to see the move first.
00:05:19.000 Okay. It's like this.
00:05:22.000 It's like Carlton.
00:05:23.000 This doesn't make sense.
00:05:25.000 This is France.
00:05:36.000 Alright, back to white boy music.
00:05:41.000 Justin, how do you like the Eiffel Tower?
00:05:43.000 It's okay so far cowboy So this is it This is the Eiffel Tower. Do you know what?
00:05:56.000 It reminds me a lot of when I first seen Big Ben.
00:05:58.000 I thought Big Ben was fucking huge when I was a kid.
00:06:00.000 I thought it was like massive, like the Empire State.
00:06:02.000 Is Big Ben bigger than the Eiffel Tower?
00:06:04.000 No. It's smaller. I might be further away.
00:06:07.000 I don't know. So that's it.
00:06:11.000 You built this. Are you proud of what you built?
00:06:14.000 I guess it's kind of cool.
00:06:18.000 So I built this?
00:06:19.000 Can I sell it? Do you have family in it?
00:06:21.000 Can I sell it? It depends.
00:06:23.000 To whom? I want to buy that shit.
00:06:26.000 Fuck. What's it good for?
00:06:27.000 What's it good for? Even the structure's just not logical, is it?
00:06:32.000 Let's be honest, they could have done a lot more with the lamp.
00:06:36.000 It's almost identical.
00:06:46.000 It is actually almost identical.
00:06:49.000 He might be.
00:06:53.000 Just saying. I don't know if anyone on Tech Confidential's notice this.
00:06:59.000 Marcel's black. I'm black.
00:07:01.000 You're what? John, how come you didn't tell me you were black, you lying son of a bitch?
00:07:08.000 Is he? I'm just saying.
00:07:10.000 Viewers, if you notice, you're racist.
00:07:12.000 I'm just saying. I don't see race.
00:07:13.000 I don't see color. I do.
00:07:15.000 So, put your phones away.
00:07:19.000 I can't put that on takeover.
00:07:22.000 Put it on takeover.
00:07:23.000 Put it on there. He's trying to steal our channel.
00:07:30.000 So that's the art that's real. That's what I said, Justin!
00:07:34.000 The only thing that's cool about that is walking inside.
00:07:36.000 It is cool. Now, it actually does look quite gangsta.
00:07:39.000 Inside's cool. When did they make this?
00:07:41.000 Do you know? I think it was like 1800s.
00:07:44.000 But inside, there's an apartment, which is cool.
00:07:46.000 How about the top was the BG's apartment?
00:07:48.000 Who lives there? Now, nobody.
00:07:51.000 Back in the day, there was an apartment.
00:07:52.000 Yeah, there was an apartment. Where's the vodka?
00:08:14.000 I don't know. What is this thing?
00:08:19.000 There's no vodka!
00:08:25.000 So, we have the fastest car on the foot down, full speed.
00:08:30.000 We have the slowest car. We have the best car.
00:08:32.000 We know. Well, the Lambo and the Porsche is better.
00:08:35.000 Well, yes. Oh, then this Bentley.
00:08:38.000 Yes, exactly. So, you're telling me that those are faster and actual performance vehicles?
00:08:43.000 Yes. My arm hurts for surgery, so I'm driving a big slow car.
00:08:48.000 They don't realize how fucked they are with their slow cars.
00:08:52.000 If you expect to beat them in a race, let me tell you.
00:08:55.000 We are going to beat them in a race.
00:08:56.000 I'm Mr. Goon.
00:08:59.000 You're Mr. Goon. I am Mr.
00:09:00.000 Goon. Can you show the old man why you're calling yourself Mr.
00:09:02.000 Goon? Mr. Goon.
00:09:04.000 Found this in the car.
00:09:08.000 And clearly, I would be Mr.
00:09:10.000 Goon if I wore this hat.
00:09:12.000 Who else would wear this hat?
00:09:14.000 Anyone who got a free hat for this car rally.
00:09:18.000 So you're telling me there's a bunch of Mr.
00:09:19.000 Goons? Yes. It says Goon Squad on the side.
00:09:23.000 That's the idea. Squad of Mr.
00:09:26.000 Goons. No, not Mr.
00:09:28.000 There is.
00:09:34.000 So fuck it. I'm determined to beat them.
00:09:38.000 Because we both conceded to the fact that we're not going to beat them in a race, but hear me out.
00:09:42.000 No, we will beat them in a race. They're the best car.
00:09:44.000 If I fucked off all the mountain driving and just drove straight to the destination, could we make fun of them for being slow?
00:09:52.000 Wait, they didn't think of that?
00:09:54.000 What do you mean mountain...
00:09:56.000 There's like exciting mountain roads to drive, which would be fun for anyone who likes driving, me included.
00:10:01.000 Or... Or...
00:10:02.000 I could avoid all of them and drive straight to the end destination on motorways.
00:10:08.000 And we would beat them to the destination.
00:10:10.000 So we'd beat them in a race.
00:10:11.000 It is a race. And they'd have to admit it.
00:10:14.000 They'd have to admit that they lost to a diesel Bentley.
00:10:17.000 The better car.
00:10:18.000 The better car won.
00:10:20.000 It's on... It's on.
00:10:21.000 I will destroy them. These two cars.
00:10:24.000 Oh, you're super cars. You're fucked, mate.
00:10:27.000 I'm super smart. Super smart.
00:10:30.000 Exactly. So, they got away, but they don't realize...
00:10:35.000 Our plan. Our plan.
00:10:36.000 We're actually... There, though.
00:10:38.000 Yeah, he's way over there now.
00:10:44.000 But they don't realize they're fucked.
00:10:46.000 This is the better car, the superior vehicle.
00:10:48.000 Might be. We use navigation.
00:10:52.000 Advanced techniques.
00:10:53.000 To cheat. It's not cheating.
00:10:55.000 It is a bit. It's not.
00:10:56.000 It's navigating to the destination.
00:10:59.000 So I can catch up with you, maybe?
00:11:02.000 Ah, we can catch up, actually.
00:11:04.000 This is it. They're double fucked.
00:11:08.000 Okay, so I just sent our threat to all of them.
00:11:13.000 That they will not win the race.
00:11:15.000 They will not win the race. 0% chance.
00:11:18.000 Justin, Sterling, they think they're going to win?
00:11:20.000 Yeah, right. Boris, the Blade?
00:11:22.000 You're right. No way.
00:11:24.000 What is Lamborghini? Yeah, what?
00:11:25.000 Andrew with the Porsche.
00:11:26.000 Police reported ahead. Does he know I got a giant diesel Bentley?
00:11:30.000 Yeah, I don't think they're fucking ready.
00:11:32.000 They don't realize that we have true, actual driving machines.
00:11:35.000 Look at that Lambo. Oh, Lambo, so low.
00:11:39.000 Ooh, so fast. You go from zero to 60 so much quicker than we do.
00:11:43.000 Doesn't fucking matter, does it?
00:11:44.000 I'm going to zero to the destination faster.
00:11:45.000 That's what I mean. They don't know about fucking driving.
00:11:50.000 Guys, we need to beat Luke and Tristan and Andrew and Marcel.
00:11:54.000 Because Luke's already in the group chat telling me that I'm a wanker or something.
00:11:58.000 I don't know. He's being super abusive.
00:12:00.000 He's talking smack. Mate, I don't know what's wrong with him.
00:12:03.000 But he's telling me that they're going to beat us in the race.
00:12:05.000 Who? Luke and Tristan think they're going to beat us in the race.
00:12:09.000 You know what? I think that's bullshit.
00:12:11.000 Let me tell you why. He might have Andrew, and he might have Tristan, and they might have supercars, but you know what they don't have?
00:12:19.000 What, Tristan? Power Crunch cereal.
00:12:22.000 Damn right. We ate Power Crunch cereal last night.
00:12:24.000 So did you, Rory. Yep. And I'll tell you who didn't.
00:12:27.000 Marcel's bitch ass. Marcel's fucking afraid of cereal.
00:12:30.000 He's a fucking coward. Wait, the power crunch was the stuff that we broke out the kitchen?
00:12:33.000 Yeah, the stuff we stole from the kitchen.
00:12:35.000 Yeah, the super cereal.
00:12:36.000 No food in Paris?
00:12:38.000 Fuck that. Paris fucking sucks.
00:12:40.000 We can't get any food. We need to sneak into the kitchen to get some fucking milk.
00:12:45.000 Fucking found it. Scratch the milk.
00:12:49.000 You got something? Yeah, that shit.
00:12:51.000 What's that? What's yours?
00:12:54.000 M.J. Why does Paris have no food after midnight?
00:13:01.000 Is it retarded? Bro, this is milk.
00:13:03.000 Fucking... Fucking hit me.
00:13:07.000 Hit me. That's milk, G. Got it.
00:13:12.000 Oh, croissant.
00:13:13.000 Bread.
00:13:15.000 Fuck.
00:13:26.000 We got French voices.
00:13:29.000 Come on in the cooler. James bought this bitch.
00:13:38.000 With the milk. Woo!
00:13:42.000 Oh shit. The last one out.
00:13:44.000 Fuck off. I think that was Marcel.
00:13:47.000 He didn't have no shirt on.
00:13:49.000 It was definitely Marcel.
00:13:55.000 Oh, but we're like in.
00:13:57.000 No we're not.
00:13:59.000 Yes!
00:14:01.000 Fucking freedom.
00:14:05.000 Hey, want cereal over here?
00:14:07.000 Yeah.
00:14:09.000 Get the cereal.
00:14:11.000 Drop them bombs!
00:14:13.000 So, that's the way when they're running on fumes and it's late in the trip and they start to get tired We're going to have a Power Crunch cereal.
00:14:25.000 And they're not going to have any of that.
00:14:27.000 So we have the edge. Yeah, we absolutely have the edge.
00:14:29.000 Plus, Marcel can't touch the pedal.
00:14:31.000 So Andrew has to drive the whole time.