Tate Speech


TESTING A RUSSIAN SUPERCAR | Tate Confidential Ep.145


Summary

Tristan buys a new car, and it's the coolest car in the world, but it's not a Russian supercar. Also, it's raining outside, and God is punishing us for driving in the rain, but we don't care because it's a new Porsche. Also, we talk about the new car Tristan bought, and how it's better than any other car he's ever owned, and why he doesn't need a mirror on it, because it doesn't even have a side-mirror on it. And it's super cool, and we're not talking about the Bugatti Bugatti, the Lamborghini, the Rolls Royce, or the Lambo. We're talking about a car made in the USSR, and is it better than the ones we have now? And who's going to pay the price for it? We'll find out on next week's episode of Big School, where we'll see if it's worth the price of admission, or if it'll be a waste of money. Subscribe to Big School on Apple Podcasts and leave us a rating and review! Big School is now available on Podcoin, and Podcoin is coming soon. Big School will also be available on the Apple App Store and Google Play. Thanks for listening and share the podcast with your fellow podcasting friends! Subscribe, comment, and tell us what you think of the podcast and what you're looking forward to in the next episode! Timestamps, and don't forget to subscribe to the Big School Podcast! XOXO and subscribe to our podcast! . Xoxo, Luke and Andrew Enjoy, Big School - Big School - BigSchool is a podcast about cars and cars and other cool cars and supercars! xoxo - Big school is a production of Crushing It's a podcast that makes you feel like you're listening to the best thing ever! - Luke & Andrew are big enough to know what's cool, right? - Luke and Andrew loves it's cool and they love it so much, too good to talk about it, and they're not only cool enough to drive like it's good enough to be cool to drive it like that? - and they also like it so good to have it so they can drive like that's cool to talk like that, but they're cool to do it in a way you can do it?


Transcript

00:00:04.000 What is this? So where's Andrew?
00:00:39.000 Don't know. What are you doing?
00:00:43.000 I'm squeezing a hand squeezer.
00:00:46.000 If I do it a million times a day, I'll become powerful enough to crush a grapefruit with the power of my mind.
00:00:54.000 Is God punishing us?
00:00:55.000 The new Porsche is here and it's raining.
00:00:57.000 So, I'm driving the rain.
00:01:09.000 That's not exactly what you do when a new Porsche comes.
00:01:12.000 The Porsche has been done and it's yours and you can drive any time you like.
00:01:16.000 Yeah, but it's raining. So?
00:01:18.000 Is that why Andrew left?
00:01:19.000 He knew it was going to rain?
00:01:22.000 Listen, Luke. If I squeeze this a million times a day, the grapefruit won't even need my hand to crush it.
00:01:31.000 I can just crush it with the power of my mind.
00:01:35.000 That's what you should do when it's raining.
00:01:37.000 This is stupid. 999,999?
00:01:45.000 A million. That's a million today.
00:01:48.000 No, it's not. I have to do a million for a week.
00:01:50.000 No, you've been doing it for a while, but that's not been a million.
00:01:52.000 Did you count? No.
00:01:53.000 Because I was counting. This is stupid.
00:01:57.000 Why? I don't know.
00:01:59.000 What? Andrew said, and you said, there were no more cars to buy.
00:02:04.000 There are none.
00:02:05.000 Build a magazine, we have all the cars.
00:02:07.000 I have, while Andrew's away doing his shit, purchased a new car.
00:02:13.000 The best car.
00:02:14.000 We don't need cars in this.
00:02:15.000 One of the best cars ever made.
00:02:18.000 Pagani Shmagani.
00:02:20.000 You know all the car brands, but are you familiar with Russian supercars?
00:02:26.000 No. I don't think they make it.
00:02:27.000 There is a Russian supercar.
00:02:29.000 I don't think those exist. That exists.
00:02:30.000 They absolutely do exist.
00:02:32.000 I don't think they do. And with everything going on in Russia and Ukraine right now, I thought it would be difficult to get my hands on one of You didn't get a Russian supercar.
00:02:43.000 I absolutely did.
00:02:44.000 It's parked outside.
00:02:46.000 For all of you guys who take confidential, and you can drive the Bugatti every day.
00:02:50.000 The Rolls Royce, the Lambo.
00:02:52.000 I don't want it. I have a new car that transcends every other vehicle in terms of coolness, speed, sleek design.
00:03:01.000 The Russians do some things right, I'm telling you.
00:03:04.000 They don't have a supercar brand.
00:03:06.000 I've never heard of a supercar Russian brand ever.
00:03:09.000 You're going to come outside and you're about to see.
00:03:11.000 Welcome to big school. He doesn't, he's lying.
00:03:16.000 So Tristan claims to have this super cool car.
00:03:21.000 He kept saying, film me drive in, as if...
00:03:24.000 He didn't buy a Pagani, and there's no such thing as a Russian supercar, so...
00:03:29.000 It might be a joke, maybe he's trying to lock me out the house.
00:03:36.000 Alright, it's definitely a car.
00:03:39.000 Thanks for watching!
00:03:41.000 Honk honk!
00:03:42.000 What is this?
00:03:44.000 What is that?
00:03:49.000 Told you Luke. What is that? A supercar.
00:04:10.000 That's not a Russian supercar.
00:04:11.000 It's a Russian supercar. I was very close.
00:04:17.000 That's all right. It's close, but it's fine.
00:04:19.000 Russia's supercar, Lou. What do you think?
00:04:21.000 It's not a Russia supercar. It is a Russia supercar.
00:04:23.000 What is it? This is a Lada 1500.
00:04:25.000 This is the coolest car in the world.
00:04:27.000 What does that mean? Admit it's the coolest car that we own.
00:04:29.000 It was made in the USSR. It's not the coolest car we own.
00:04:33.000 Well, I'm driving it everywhere. Club, restaurant, Italy.
00:04:37.000 We have a Bugatti. I'll drive it to Saint-Tropez.
00:04:40.000 You could drive the Bugatti. Would it even get there?
00:04:42.000 You could drive the Bugatti.
00:04:43.000 This will get anywhere, mate. This came all the way here from Moscow.
00:04:47.000 I don't think it'll get anywhere.
00:04:49.000 I love it. I don't give a shit if you like it right now.
00:04:52.000 It doesn't even have a mirror on this side.
00:04:54.000 It doesn't need a mirror on that side.
00:04:55.000 It's actually got really good visibility.
00:04:57.000 To be fair, besides the Rolls-Royce, this car probably has the best visibility of any car that we own.
00:05:04.000 That can't be true. It's completely true.
00:05:07.000 Besides the Rolls-Royce, best visibility.
00:05:09.000 It literally doesn't have a right mirror.
00:05:10.000 But you can still see completely.
00:05:12.000 So how could you see here where I'm standing?
00:05:15.000 I don't need to. I don't want to look at you.
00:05:18.000 Why would I try to look at you?
00:05:20.000 Steel construction? Heavy steel?
00:05:22.000 It's steel? None of this crappy carbon fiber these cars made out of.
00:05:26.000 Yeah, but they're made out of carbon fiber for a reason.
00:05:28.000 Yeah, this steel is stronger.
00:05:30.000 No, but it's supposed to crunch up.
00:05:31.000 It's not supposed to be strong.
00:05:33.000 Otherwise, all the energy goes into you, the little person inside.
00:05:37.000 I think the top automotive engineers of 1979 Moscow know a little bit more than you.
00:05:45.000 That's right, 1979.
00:05:46.000 That's when this car was built.
00:05:48.000 All original parts.
00:05:51.000 Paint, windows, the engine, the oil, brake fluid.
00:05:55.000 All original. Okay, so to clarify, this is not a Russian supercar.
00:05:59.000 Is it? Is it Russian?
00:06:02.000 It might be Russian. Will this turn heads when you're driving down the street?
00:06:05.000 I don't think so.
00:06:08.000 I think it will. It's kind of just a plain car.
00:06:10.000 It's not a plain car. It's very small.
00:06:14.000 This is something special. This is something special.
00:06:18.000 That is not something special.
00:06:23.000 This is something special.
00:06:25.000 I'm just trying to take confidential viewers the actual special things.
00:06:30.000 Yeah, like the Bugatti.
00:06:34.000 Lots of people have car collections in the world.
00:06:36.000 Admit that I might be the only man in the world who has a Bugatti and a Lada 1500.
00:06:40.000 You might be that man because no other Bugatti owner wants a Lada.
00:06:43.000 Maybe he's a Russian oligarch who's rich enough and G enough to find himself a working Lada.
00:06:50.000 Windscreen hypers work.
00:06:51.000 It's a beautiful car, dude. I know you're jealous.
00:06:55.000 I'm not jealous. I don't think Andrew's going to be jealous either.
00:06:57.000 Andrew's going to be super jealous. I'm leaving it parked here.
00:06:59.000 I moved the Lambo on purpose because I think this needs the premier parking spot so people see it when they walk into the house.
00:07:05.000 The Ferrari's pretty cool.
00:07:06.000 The Rolls, yes, and they're pretty cool.
00:07:08.000 Boom! Right in the middle.
00:07:10.000 So we're just going to have this parked here forever and it's just going to rot.
00:07:14.000 It's my car. I know, but you're never going to actually drive it.
00:07:18.000 That's a boss key.
00:07:19.000 None of this fancy lights and buttons and switches like the fucking BMW and the Rolls.
00:07:24.000 Doesn't that mean it's easy to steal?
00:07:25.000 If someone tries to steal this lot out, they're fucking dead.
00:07:29.000 This is my pride and joy.
00:07:33.000 What is the War Room?
00:07:35.000 The War Room is the greatest global network which exists on planet Earth.
00:07:40.000 The War Room is a global organization with members, bases, and influence in over 70 countries.
00:07:46.000 The network contains varied expertise which allows them to exert influence globally.
00:07:51.000 Every member has either achieved or is working towards the ultimate goal of all intelligent men.
00:07:57.000 Freedom. In a world of slavery, despite heavy infiltration of media channels, attempts have been made to silence known leadership.
00:08:05.000 However, their influence has increased.
00:08:07.000 The spread is accelerating.
00:08:09.000 We have identified a new suspect associated with the growth of the organization.
00:08:15.000 The Matrix cannot allow these minds to be free.
00:08:21.000 Once understood, the Matrix can be exploited.
00:08:25.000 They know how to bend our rules.
00:08:28.000 They know how to win the game.
00:08:30.000 Our control mechanisms rely on ignorance, on isolation.
00:08:34.000 This network is teaching the truth.
00:08:37.000 They must be stopped.
00:08:40.000 It is imperative we attempt to I put the table upside down.
00:09:11.000 You did? Tristan put his stool upside down.
00:09:15.000 Let me... So this is our table now.
00:09:18.000 Okay. Put the remote upside down.
00:09:20.000 It's true. Okay.
00:09:22.000 I think I'm beginning to understand.
00:09:25.000 Wait a second. Hey, hi.
00:09:31.000 Hi. My table.
00:09:36.000 Do you admit we loudly did an upside down vault?
00:09:39.000 Do you admit we reversed gravity?
00:09:42.000 Hey guys.
00:09:44.000 Nice.
00:09:47.000 I think I'm starting to understand.
00:09:49.000 Luke, do you admit that we've reversed gravity?
00:09:51.000 We may have. We might be able to.
00:09:52.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Do you admit that gravity is now inversed?
00:10:02.000 It might be. Look, my Walter is not leaving the mall.
00:10:06.000 It's just what multi-millionaires do in suites in London.
00:10:09.000 Why are we even in this hotel?
00:10:10.000 Why are we even in London? Wait a second.
00:10:17.000 That is a thing! I saw it!
00:10:23.000 I'm thinking of opening a time vortex.
00:10:26.000 That doesn't mean anything. If I open a hole in space-time, I'd open a time vortex.
00:10:31.000 Okay. Because time doesn't exist, only clocks exist.
00:10:35.000 Yes, true. So if I go back in time and destroy the clocks, then we can live in a world where no one ever dies.
00:10:41.000 Do you agree with that, Luke? It sounds like nonsense, like you guys look at the tables.
00:10:46.000 Like... If I open the time vortex and destroy all the clocks, we'll all live forever.
00:10:50.000 But that's not time vortex, that's just alcohol.
00:10:53.000 If you drink loads of alcohol, doesn't time pass quicker?
00:10:56.000 No. Alright Luke, if you had to stay- If you passed out from booze, would time disappear?
00:11:02.000 Sort of. Well let me ask you a question Luke.
00:11:04.000 You can tell the time on this watch if I showed you the watch right now, correct?
00:11:06.000 After 40 vodkas, It's blurry, correct?
00:11:11.000 Okay. So all minutes and hours of the day fade into one another.
00:11:15.000 No, but they still pass. No, they don't.
00:11:17.000 So if I destroy all the clocks, we'll live forever.
00:11:22.000 Time isn't real. Clocks are real.
00:11:24.000 The problem is, when you open a time vortex, you need two points for the ions to travel between.
00:11:30.000 Yeah, I hear you. Two!
00:11:33.000 Ah! I see!
00:11:35.000 I see where this is going!
00:11:39.000 Okay, but why is booze involved?
00:11:42.000 Luke, why does the booze need to open the ion port?
00:11:45.000 Because if you had your space suit on, we could transcend through space time without the need for this boozing.
00:11:51.000 But you never fucking do, do you, Luke?
00:11:52.000 Ever, ever. What do geese do?
00:11:58.000 They fly. Correct?
00:12:00.000 Okay. And you walk like a stupid wingless duck.
00:12:03.000 You walk? No, I fly.
00:12:05.000 You don't fly. That's a lie.
00:12:07.000 No, you just haven't drank enough.
00:12:08.000 You're thinking in black and white, and I'm thinking in gray.
00:12:11.000 Yeah. You moved, and you moved left.
00:12:14.000 There's nothing more refreshing there is than meat gray goose.
00:12:20.000 Refreshing. I don't even need a chaser.
00:12:22.000 I don't want one. Come on, Luke.
00:12:24.000 Drink your booze. Drink your booze, Luke.
00:12:26.000 Drink your booze, yes it is.
00:12:28.000 We have to open an iron portal, Luke.
00:12:30.000 Drink your booze.
00:12:31.000 It's not through booze.
00:12:33.000 It is. It's not.
00:12:37.000 It tastes like hairspray and it makes you want to vomit.
00:12:39.000 It tastes like hairspray.
00:12:40.000 Makes me want to walk.
00:12:41.000 That's how you travel through time?
00:12:43.000 Can you admit that we are now at a different time than we were a minute ago?
00:12:51.000 The time has changed. Do you admit the time has changed?
00:12:53.000 I do feel the eye off. I feel them.
00:13:01.000 Alright, phone charger.
00:13:02.000 We've got our iPhone charger here.
00:13:03.000 So what are we doing? We're going downstairs with no phones.
00:13:07.000 No work, no networks.
00:13:08.000 I need the networks. So I'm taking this phone to film Tech Confidential and besides that we leave all of our phones here.
00:13:15.000 Is that the plan? There's a time vortex,
00:13:42.000 Luke! Which direction did I throw the spoon?
00:13:47.000 You threw it that way. But it hit you.
00:13:49.000 Because I bent it!
00:13:50.000 No, because I bent it!
00:13:52.000 Through the wormhole, out the other side.
00:13:54.000 Out the other side. Come on, Luke.
00:13:55.000 We're going with pints. Pints. Pints, let's go.
00:14:01.000 We need drinking. Pints, let's go.
00:14:03.000 Let's go. Let's go, Luke.
00:14:05.000 Final thing I need to do.
00:14:06.000 Final? Look at him on his laptop.
00:14:09.000 You speak to the world through your fingers like a f***ing incel.
00:14:16.000 Fuck this. No phones.
00:14:17.000 Leave your phone here. Leave your phone here.
00:14:20.000 Drop it, Luke. No phones.
00:14:23.000 Take confidential filming only.
00:14:27.000 This hotel costs £2,500 a day to stay in.
00:14:31.000 Do you realize that, Luke?
00:14:32.000 I do. I do realize that.
00:14:34.000 You realize that this hotel costs £2,500?
00:14:36.000 And you guys want me to leave the room.
00:14:37.000 Per room, per night. You guys want me to leave the room.
00:14:39.000 Waste the room. Waste the nice room.
00:14:43.000 Go on, Luke. Handle it.
00:14:49.000 Go wait for the emergency. What emergency?
00:14:51.000 You have to press the button for the wheelchair for the people to come take you and push you.
00:14:54.000 I press the button. Can't you hear it beeping? No.
00:14:58.000 I'm in your wheelchair right now.
00:15:00.000 I am. I admit it.
00:15:02.000 What's this? Nothing.
00:15:06.000 Knew it. Right, so loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of booze, yeah?
00:15:11.000 No. Picking up money.
00:15:14.000 I need it. There's two pints.
00:15:16.000 Luke, what's your favorite animal?
00:15:25.000 Bye.
00:15:25.000 Bye!
00:15:26.000 Bye!
00:15:27.000 Luke is so upset that he has no electronic devices.
00:15:31.000 Metaverse is inside of me.
00:15:32.000 No, you can't exist in the Metaverse in your mind.
00:15:35.000 I can't. You don't have access. I do.
00:15:37.000 No, you don't. You can't communicate through your fingers.
00:15:39.000 I don't need to communicate. I just need to think about what I'm going to communicate in the future.
00:15:42.000 Saving me time now.
00:15:45.000 What's your favorite animal? I'll be back to you in a sec.
00:15:48.000 Is it a fish? One second.
00:15:50.000 What is your favourite colour?
00:15:53.000 One second, Tristan. Maybe he's the one we can plug into the mainframe, who's mine.
00:16:02.000 Admit your favorite color is rainbow.
00:16:04.000 London's alright in the sunshine.
00:16:11.000 It is. He's in the shade.
00:16:16.000 You're in the shade. Looks like he's in the shade.
00:16:20.000 Clear sun. Shade.
00:16:22.000 Do you know what shade's caused by?
00:16:25.000 No. Homoerotic fantasies.
00:16:28.000 Ah. It all makes sense now.
00:16:31.000 It does, doesn't it? Yeah. Luke, you are in the shade.
00:16:34.000 No, I'm in the sunlight. You're in the sunlight.
00:16:36.000 I'm in the sunlight. You can't prove that.
00:16:38.000 You know what? I can. Nope.
00:16:39.000 Because I'm going to film you right back.
00:16:43.000 I'm in the sunlight. I'm gonna film you right back being in the shade and I have sun on me.
00:16:47.000 No. Your phone has been programmed by you to make it look like I'm in the shade when in fact I'm in the sun.
00:16:54.000 The bright warm sun is healing me.
00:16:59.000 Listen, I think we need to go somewhere that we haven't been in a long time.
00:17:02.000 We always come to London.
00:17:03.000 All we do is complain about it. We always end up here.
00:17:07.000 Let's go to the moon. You don't have your space suit.
00:17:10.000 I don't have my space suit but they might give me one.
00:17:15.000 Let's get bikes and do as him and go cycling.
00:17:17.000 That does not sound fun.
00:17:20.000 Let's take the supercars and drive through Europe again.
00:17:23.000 Tristan, what are we doing?
00:17:27.000 I mean, I don't have to inform you because you heard him.
00:17:33.000 Inform me of what? Tristan said he's not talking to you.
00:17:37.000 Can you let Tristan know that even if he doesn't talk to me, I'll just talk to him through you.
00:17:45.000 Hi, Tristan. Do you really want me to explain what Andrew said?
00:17:52.000 I'm not talking to Andrew, but I'm not listening to you.
00:17:56.000 Shit. Over here.
00:17:59.000 Oh, caviar. Alright, so we agree.
00:18:01.000 Caviar. So that means we have to go to...
00:18:04.000 We're Belarus again?
00:18:10.000 Thank you. What?
00:18:15.000 You see what's wrong, right?
00:18:16.000 It's not just me. I'm not going crazy.