Tate Speech - May 05, 2024


Thank Tate It’s Friday | Tate Confidential Ep 229


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

113.36842

Word Count

1,077

Sentence Count

134

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

8


Summary

Tristan and Luke are stuck in the house and need to get out of the house, but Captain Fun is too lazy to go out and do something fun, so the boys decide to take matters into their own hands and try and get out into the world for a little bit of fun. However, it doesn t go as planned, and Luke and Tristan have to deal with the consequences of being out in the world. This episode is brought to you by Anchor and produced by Vevolution.co.nz. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, and we'll read out your comments and thoughts on the next episode. Thank you so much for your support, we really appreciate it. Timestamps: 1:00 - Captain Fun's bedtime (9:30) 3:30 - Luke needs gas (10:00) - Tristan's car needs gas 14:15 - Luke and Alex's car need gas 16:20 - Who's going to pay the bill? 17:00 18:40 - What's the plan? 19:30 21:15 22:00 Tristan and Andrew's plan for the night? 26:00 Is it a good idea or not? 27:50 28:40 29:20 32:00 / 30:00 Do you have a problem? 31: What are you going to do? 33: What do you want? 35:00 | 36:00: What's your favorite thing? 36:30 | 37: What would you like to eat? 39:00 + 38:00 40:00 41:00 43:00 44:00 45:00 46:00 47:00 49:00 48:00 50:00 A little bit more? 45:10 45 + 6 + 6? 6:00 & 6 + 7? 5 + 6 6 + 8 + 7 + 8 6 5 7 + 7 8 + 9 + 8? 7 8 9 + 9 10 + 8) 11: What s your favourite thing to do with your brain? & 8) Do you want to get in on the action? 9) Can you stay in the game? 10)


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Guys, it's Friday night.
00:00:10.000 We can't be sitting in the house like we do every single day.
00:00:13.000 Let's go. Let's go!
00:00:18.000 If I were to punch you as hard as I could, directly in the chest, as hard as I could, I guarantee I could snack your sternum.
00:00:28.000 Well, at least I'd be sent out of the house for once.
00:00:30.000 Why do we just sit in our house?
00:00:32.000 We are so rich, and we just sit in the house and do nothing.
00:00:34.000 We can't let Captain Fun influence us.
00:00:36.000 Is it Captain Fun's fault? It's Captain Fun's fault.
00:00:38.000 He's probably going to bed. It's what, 9.30 on a Friday?
00:00:40.000 It's definitely his bedtime. Is he here?
00:00:43.000 No. Is he outside?
00:00:45.000 No. Fuck knows where he is.
00:00:46.000 He's in Funland. Funland being his bedroom.
00:00:50.000 Alright, fuck it. Let's go out and just try and rustle fun out of the universe.
00:00:55.000 So we don't have a plan, but we're gonna go find the plan.
00:00:57.000 Our plan is to get into some very expensive cars and to bring out huge stacks of money and then just...
00:01:03.000 you know?
00:01:04.000 I got all the money that I want off Luke Barnett from poker, so money's covered.
00:01:08.000 Let's do it. Tonight out is on Barnett.
00:01:10.000 Let's do it.
00:01:11.000 Let's go.
00:01:14.000 Turn in the void, void, turn in the void, void, turn in the void, it makes me turn.
00:01:34.000 I'm looking for you.
00:01:44.000 I can't believe you're standing right here where I want you.
00:02:04.000 After all that I've been through, you don't know what I've been through.
00:02:05.000 Gave in, didn't he?
00:02:07.000 So much for that fuck gas.
00:02:08.000 Me and Luke were the real fuck gas heroes.
00:02:11.000 Fuck gas! Fuck gas!
00:02:15.000 Fuck gas!
00:02:20.000 Now look at Tristan. My Maserati needs gas.
00:02:23.000 That is one beautiful Maserati.
00:02:25.000 Shame it's being driven by a total fucking pussy.
00:02:27.000 I need gas when my car stops.
00:02:30.000 What are you, fucking gay?
00:02:31.000 What are you, fucking gay?
00:02:36.000 I don't know what to say.
00:02:37.000 What are you, fucking gay? That was pretty gay.
00:02:40.000 The internet thinks you're talking to him.
00:02:43.000 What are you going to do, fight me?
00:02:45.000 Fight me, fight me, I don't care.
00:02:50.000 Can't wait to hit the club.
00:02:56.000 We're going to turn it up.
00:02:59.000 Sparkling water, please.
00:03:01.000 Hey, at least Captain Fun made it out.
00:03:03.000 You have a weird private joke and I don't know what it is.
00:03:11.000 I'm not interested. Tristan, why don't you have some bread? Because I don't need a vehicle for my butter.
00:04:14.000 You took my joke team.
00:04:16.000 I wrote this joke myself.
00:04:18.000 That and it's Tristan Tate original.
00:04:20.000 It's also not a joke.
00:04:21.000 If you say it as a joke, you don't really live the butter life.
00:04:24.000 You're not really about the butter.
00:04:26.000 You're a fraud. A fake.
00:04:29.000 A phony and a charlatan.
00:04:32.000 Admit we're bread men. I don't need a good food for my butter.
00:04:37.000 You can't be butter man unless you eat the rest of that butter right now.
00:04:40.000 Then I'll admit you're butterman.
00:04:41.000 Sara Price is buttering me up for a masterpiece and it's true.
00:04:45.000 We don't know what that means to you.
00:04:47.000 We have no idea what that means to you.
00:04:49.000 I'll play along. Let me explain it to you.
00:04:51.000 Maybe 16 years ago, I knew somebody by that name and she was making very attractive business proposals to us but we knew that in the end if we decided to do the business that we'd end up losing lots of money.
00:05:05.000 Because it was all just a big famoose.
00:05:06.000 So we used to say, Sarah is buttering us up for a big famoosing.
00:05:10.000 And we said that around the office 60 years ago in Dunstable, England.
00:05:15.000 Now you obviously don't understand Tristan and I's private jokes, but I can say to Tristan, Sarah is buttering us up in the middle of a business meeting and people will have no idea what I'm talking about.
00:05:24.000 Now they do. But Tristan will know exactly what I'm talking about.
00:05:27.000 And now you know. I've had a really good idea.
00:05:31.000 What I need to do is hear me out.
00:05:35.000 We poison everyone in the house in their sleep.
00:05:38.000 Andrew, do you want to get in on this?
00:05:40.000 We kill Bailey, Nigel, Alex, the other Alex, Yusuf, everyone.
00:05:43.000 And then we chop them up and create a Frankenstein where we take one of Yusuf's hands and one of Bailey's hands so they can use a camera.
00:05:53.000 You know? Nigel's legs to be fast runner.
00:05:56.000 He's flat. But it will also make him late.
00:05:59.000 Half of Alex's brain, so he knows his medicine.
00:06:02.000 You see what I am? And we name this person Super Friend.
00:06:06.000 Then if we take this person with us, it saves us running on plane tickets, restaurant bills.
00:06:11.000 We consolidate all existing friends into one mutant.
00:06:17.000 Half of Bailey's glasses.
00:06:19.000 Yeah, what half of his glasses?
00:06:21.000 A monocle. A monocle.
00:06:23.000 The Bailey monocle. Yes.
00:06:26.000 It would create a super friend with all of the best traits of everyone.
00:06:30.000 But none of the additional baggage.
00:06:32.000 What are you laughing at?
00:06:45.000 Cause Tristan's just got the room now.
00:06:47.000 Playing Led Zeppelin.
00:06:49.000 Soaking his fucking cigarette in our cigar.
00:06:51.000 And he's fucking drop top mad as fuck.
00:06:53.000 What the fuck's going on? Me and him grew up with no money.
00:06:56.000 Bailey.
00:06:57.000 We had no money, no car, no food.
00:06:59.000 We were completely broke.
00:07:01.000 Nothing makes sense anymore.
00:07:03.000 Bro, we would sit there, I need 400 pounds this month for rent.
00:07:07.000 We had fucking nothing.
00:07:10.000 Why is this happening?
00:07:11.000 Nothing makes sense.
00:07:15.000 Alright T.
00:07:17.000 Nice. He's ruining our fun.
00:07:41.000 Or maybe he's a part of the fun. It's definitely your mate.
00:07:50.000 Hey. Take me to jail.
00:07:55.000 Take me to jail. All the rest of it is just talk and papers.
00:07:59.000 Once you've been to jail, it's like, I'll give you a ticket.
00:08:01.000 What piece of paper? I must talk to you.
00:08:03.000 Talk. Are you going to take me to jail or not?
00:08:08.000 Take me to jail. Take me to jail.
00:08:10.000 That's all you can do is take me to jail.
00:08:11.000 Can't shoot me. Hang on a gun on me.
00:08:13.000 You won't get away with that in Romania. You know I'm unarmed.
00:08:15.000 You took all my guns. D-call.
00:08:17.000 So just take me to fucking jail. You are half black.
00:08:20.000 True. That does make me a...
00:08:22.000 Oh, great. What are they doing?
00:09:19.000 Standing men.
00:09:24.000 Let's become standing men. All night.
00:09:29.000 Till the sun comes up.