Tate Speech - August 25, 2024


The Party of the Century | Tate Confidential Ep 252


Episode Stats

Length

13 minutes

Words per Minute

132.225

Word Count

1,763

Sentence Count

214

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

9


Summary

Captain Fun and the rest of the crew get lost in the middle of the night on the way home from a night out and find themselves stuck in a parking lot with no idea where to go next. They decide to take the car to the mall but it's too far, so they take a supercar instead. The problem is, Captain Fun can't drive a car, and he doesn't want to drive a super car. So they take the security car and take him to the nearest mall, but he still can't get home on time. The problem only gets worse as the night wears on and the party starts to get rowdy, and the problem is that he's not drinking enough to drive fast enough to make it back home in time for the night before the party, so he decides to take his car and drive to the next closest mall. But it's not far enough. Can he make it there in time? Or will he be too drunk by the time he gets home from the party? Find out in this episode of the WDFA Podcast! - Featuring: Captain Fun, Bailey, Andrew, and Bailey's Dad, Bailey's Brother, Andrew. We hope you enjoy this episode, it's a good one, and we'll see you next week for the next episode of WDFA, where we'll be back with a new episode of Captain Fun's new podcast, Captain Fucking Fun's Podcast. If you like it, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and tell us what you thought of it! We'll be looking out for you in the comments section! Thank you for listening to the podcast! - Tom and Andrew's Dad's Podcast! - Tom's Podcasts - Tom is a great guy, Tom's podcast is a good guy. - Bailey's Podcast is great, too. Tom's Dad is also a good friend of Tom's Crew is great and he's a great friend of the Crew is cool, too, so please don't forget to leave him a review and tell him about it on Insta: and we're listening to him on Instafood and his podcast is great at his podcast. . Thanks, Tom has a good podcast is amazing, Tom thinks he's cool, Tom doesn't need to be drinking any more than that... Tom is awesome, so thank you, Tom needs to have a good time, Tom does not need to drink anymore.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 There's endless parking in Aragon.
00:00:14.000 Thank you.
00:00:15.000 Let's go Arrogant and eat, and then make a plan after that.
00:00:17.000 We can drop the cars off first if we want to.
00:00:19.000 I'll do whatever you say. Or we can just put the cars outside the mall and tell security to handle it and fuck it off from no time.
00:00:25.000 Just stop in the middle of the street.
00:00:26.000 That's what I do all the time. Just give the kids security.
00:00:29.000 So, meet basically?
00:00:32.000 I'll do whatever you say. I don't care.
00:00:34.000 Let's go Arrogant and eat. Arrogant is far.
00:00:36.000 I'd rather go somewhere closer.
00:00:38.000 Okay, let's go there! Who's your mate?
00:00:40.000 Let's go there! Oh, I don't want to drive!
00:00:42.000 I want a super car but it's too far!
00:00:44.000 Aww!
00:00:46.000 Turn in the void, void, turn in the void, void, turn in the void, it makes me turn in the void, void, void, turn in the
00:01:06.000 void, turn in the void, it makes me turn!
00:01:06.000 5 more!
00:01:12.000 Yeah!
00:01:14.000 Woo!
00:01:15.000 Beat 5-0!
00:01:22.000 Two of the six 765s are here.
00:01:24.000 Maybe I need ten 765s.
00:01:26.000 Should I buy four more? No.
00:01:29.000 No one needs this many 765s.
00:01:30.000 You're an American. You can't drive.
00:01:32.000 You don't understand the brilliance of the 765.
00:01:34.000 You don't understand it. You're just in some pickup truck going in a straight line.
00:01:37.000 Then I get to the end of the red light and I turn right.
00:01:40.000 It's a stop sign. What's a gear?
00:01:42.000 I don't know. It's automatic.
00:01:44.000 You're a fucking dumbass. You don't even know how cars work.
00:01:48.000 You're a dickhead yank.
00:01:49.000 I may be an American. You're a fucking dickhead yank.
00:01:51.000 Your country's fucking controlled by Israel.
00:01:54.000 You're the useless scum of the earth.
00:01:56.000 Fucking warlords.
00:01:57.000 That's all you are. The American empire is disgusting.
00:02:01.000 And to couple it all off, you can't drive.
00:02:04.000 I don't need to drive to understand that no human being needs seven of the same cars.
00:02:08.000 Why don't you apologize to Sander's weapons of mass destruction, Bailey?
00:02:11.000 Why don't you apologize for all the millions of lives lost in Iraq?
00:02:13.000 You don't give a fuck, do you? The whole war on terror was a scam.
00:02:16.000 You did 9-11 yourselves.
00:02:18.000 Admit it. Why don't you just fucking admit it and stop being a piece of shit for once in your life?
00:02:21.000 Then tell me we don't need McLarens when we clearly do.
00:02:23.000 It's the second of your heinous crimes and false accusations.
00:02:27.000 Clearly we need McLarens. If you could drive a car, you'd understand.
00:02:30.000 Take your Chevy and shove it.
00:02:32.000 Get the fuck out of here. So we convinced Captain Fun to take a supercar after all.
00:02:45.000 He has to drive eight minutes longer to the other restaurant.
00:02:47.000 I hope he'll be okay. Eight minutes, that's a lot to ask.
00:02:49.000 I mean, it's a lot to ask on a sunny Saturday afternoon in the Maserati.
00:02:52.000 His poor foot, his poor big toe is going to get so tired pressing the gas pedal.
00:02:56.000 Oh no, it's too far. It is too far.
00:02:59.000 Who's your mate? Bro, he's your brother and your mate.
00:03:02.000 No, he's my brother. I was stuck with him.
00:03:05.000 But you hanged out with him on purpose.
00:03:07.000 He is woman. We decided to take the supercar out after all.
00:03:16.000 Andrew! It's annoying.
00:03:19.000 He wants to go from this place to some party that we have a table and we have to buy bottles at.
00:03:25.000 So now I'm going to take the car because I was going to take the security car and we're going to sit there at the table and no one's going to order any drinks until the waiters start pestering him and tell him to order bottles because I'm not drinking now.
00:03:36.000 I have my car. So I'm going to take security because we're going to some party now.
00:03:39.000 No, you can drink. I'll drive the car.
00:03:44.000 You can't even drive a stick shift.
00:03:46.000 I don't trust you with anything. You can't break the ice inside of me A single-minded passion A solitary sense I thought I was alone The person got all upset because he said we're going straight to an event after this, and he wanted to drink tonight, but now that he's driving he said he can't drink.
00:04:25.000 But I have a revolutionary idea.
00:04:28.000 We drop the cars off before we go to the event.
00:04:31.000 Drinking is horrible. So nobody drinks.
00:04:34.000 Everybody be like me, sober on their phones.
00:04:36.000 Cool. Done.
00:04:38.000 Problem solved.
00:04:40.000 Problem solved.
00:04:42.000 Alright, this is for me.
00:04:59.000 I need to get that one more time.
00:05:01.000 Video evidence. That you have full permission to play the trumpet as loud as you want at any time of day within the house, yes?
00:05:10.000 Do you agree to that? We encourage it.
00:05:13.000 If I had the choice of sleeping peacefully or watching my good friend Bailey play the trumpet, I'll choose my friends every time.
00:05:20.000 You're gonna regret these words.
00:05:23.000 Never. I love trumpet.
00:05:26.000 Truthfully, what's actually very interesting is, I can get you back.
00:05:31.000 I can play trumpet myself outside your room.
00:05:33.000 I don't have to be good. The fact I can't play trumpet would actually probably make it more annoying.
00:05:38.000 To be fair, if there's a free trumpet household...
00:05:41.000 We can trumpet back at you.
00:05:43.000 We just don't know any songs.
00:05:45.000 But it's fine.
00:05:46.000 But I could trump it.
00:05:48.000 Looks like a great party, T.
00:05:55.000 A great party Thank you
00:06:03.000 Oh Oh
00:06:07.000 Oh I
00:06:11.000 Baby I
00:06:15.000 I Wanna make
00:06:19.000 Some Baby
00:06:23.000 Oh Oh
00:06:27.000 Oh Best party ever
00:06:57.000 Baby Thanks for watching!
00:07:01.000 you Tristan, that was the best party ever.
00:07:04.000 Yeah, I know. Sick. Nigel, did you like to party?
00:07:06.000 I loved it.
00:07:07.000 Absolutely.
00:07:08.000 Best party ever.
00:07:09.000 Home at 11th 3rd.
00:07:14.000 You are actually a menace to society.
00:07:17.000 Actually. I can't tell you how many times I come down for breakfast.
00:07:20.000 I can't wait to have some fresh bread.
00:07:22.000 I pull out the bread only to find out that you eat the inside of the bread and not the crust.
00:07:27.000 Look, no one does that.
00:07:29.000 You're a menace to society, Andrew.
00:07:31.000 Looks like your mum. Let me ask you a question now.
00:07:36.000 Let me ask you a genuine question. This is some of the best bread ever.
00:07:42.000 Do you know how it was discovered? How?
00:07:44.000 I was sitting in a Romanian dungeon with cockroaches with hardly anything to eat.
00:07:48.000 But I had unlimited commissary money so I spent all my money on cigarettes so I could barter with the other prisoners.
00:07:54.000 and one of the other prisoners got this bread brought to him.
00:07:56.000 And I bought it off him for some cigarettes.
00:07:58.000 I had to go to jail to discover this bread.
00:08:01.000 Then I left jail and I had to find out where the bread was made,
00:08:03.000 which took more of my time.
00:08:05.000 Then, the bread coming here has to be done by members of staff,
00:08:09.000 which have to wake up early before they come to work and go all the way to the other side of Bucharest,
00:08:12.000 to this bakery to buy the bread to bring it here fresh.
00:08:15.000 Do you pay those members of staff?
00:08:18.000 No.
00:08:18.000 Have you been to jail?
00:08:20.000 No. Have you organized anything at all to do with this bread?
00:08:23.000 Or do you just fucking walk down with your cracker ass and expect it to be there for you to eat?
00:08:27.000 I have suffered for this bread.
00:08:29.000 I organized the bread coming here.
00:08:31.000 And I don't give a solitary fuck if it's not to your liking.
00:08:34.000 Because the bread has nothing to do with you.
00:08:35.000 It's for me. I don't buy it for you.
00:08:37.000 I buy it for me. You shouldn't be fucking touching it at all.
00:08:40.000 Do you understand It's just some bread
00:08:45.000 Several days later So guys right now we just made it to Andrews house here
00:08:58.000 that had the big fight so There's no one better in the world that can help me win.
00:09:02.000 Well the top G. Well, that's true But you're already gonna win aren't I am you're 100% sir?
00:09:08.000 Thousand percent sure I mean I've been I'm training as hard as I can.
00:09:12.000 Honestly, I don't think my opponent deserves the level of training I'm doing, but I do.
00:09:16.000 Yeah, of course. Absolutely. And if you beat him a few seconds earlier, it's even better.
00:09:20.000 So it's worth it. Do it.
00:09:22.000 Do it. We're going to train.
00:09:24.000 I mean, you've got a nice house.
00:09:26.000 Yeah, we have a little bit of construction going on, but it's alright.
00:09:29.000 It's not a bad jail, I mean.
00:09:32.000 Let's do some training and see what you got.
00:09:34.000 Alright, let's go, let's go.
00:09:35.000 Guys, I'm terrified.
00:09:36.000 Even though I haven't swam as an old country, I'm terrified.
00:09:38.000 Like, I'm genuinely...
00:09:39.000 Nah, I'm old. I'm an old man.
00:09:41.000 How much do you weigh? Not that big.
00:09:43.000 93, 94. Oh, okay.
00:09:45.000 That's good. Honestly, that's good.
00:09:47.000 Chris is the big one. He's like 110.
00:09:49.000 Okay. I'm small.
00:09:51.000 I Love
00:09:55.000 Oh This is
00:09:59.000 Oh Oh
00:10:03.000 Oh Oh
00:10:07.000 Oh 30 seconds
00:10:38.000 In seconds Oh
00:11:00.000 time Ah
00:11:10.000 Round 1 done.
00:11:12.000 Ten more. Jump cross.
00:11:19.000 Okay, I want Jackman.
00:11:21.000 Cross.
00:11:23.000 Two.
00:11:25.000 One.
00:11:27.000 Cross.
00:11:29.000 Cross hook.
00:11:31.000 Good.
00:11:33.000 Jab.
00:11:35.000 Cross.
00:11:37.000 One, two.
00:11:39.000 Jab.
00:11:41.000 Cross.
00:11:43.000 Cross hook. Good.
00:11:45.000 Cross hook. Good.
00:11:47.000 Harder.
00:11:49.000 Good. Harder.
00:11:51.000 Nice. Jab.
00:11:53.000 One, two.
00:11:55.000 Two. Cross hook.
00:11:57.000 Cool.
00:11:59.000 Body shot challenge.
00:12:01.000 Not bad.
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