Tate Speech - January 31, 2024


The Saxophone Man of Wudan Mountain | Tate Confidential Ep 213


Episode Stats

Length

20 minutes

Words per Minute

129.98392

Word Count

2,695

Sentence Count

370

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary

Matty and Tristan are on their way to the mountains and Matty has no idea where they are going, but they re going anyway. Matty s going to drive Matty to the mountain's, and the rest is downhill from there. Matty talks about his plans for the trip, and how he s not going to make it there, and then Matty tries to convince Matty that it s a good idea to drive six and a half hours across the country to get there, but Matty doesn t want to go anywhere else but the mountains. And that s why they re taking a bus. Also, Matty wants to know if he s good enough for the mountains, and if it s worth it to drive for six hours to get to them, and why it s not a bad idea. The answer to that question may surprise you! And Matty thinks he might be a good enough dude to be good enough to make the six hour drive, so Matty finally decides to take the first step in the right direction and leave the rest of the boys behind. This episode was recorded in the middle of the night in a hotel room where Matty is staying in for the night. We apologize for the audio quality, we re still trying to figure out how to work out the kinks in the recording equipment. We ll figure it out. Thanks to Matty for coming up with the sound quality, and we lllllllll, we ll try to improve the audio in the next episode, but we ll see how much better next time. in a week or so. - we ll figure that out how much we can get it out on the next one. Thank you for listening to this episode, mate. Love ya. xoxo - Ben & Matty - Matty & Tristan - Matt - Jeff - Jack - Jake - Ryan - Daniel - Chris - Will & Jake and Ted - Brad - Gorms - Tim Ben Thanks for coming out with the music - (and we hope you enjoy the music - and we love you guys for listening and supporting us, we really appreciate the music, we appreciate it - Thank you so much for listening! - and we appreciate all the love and support you all for your support and support us, thank you for being here.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Where we going Matty?
00:00:07.000 I actually have no idea.
00:00:12.000 Thank you.
00:00:13.000 Truthfully, neither do fucking I. But we're going to see where the sat-nav takes us.
00:00:18.000 So we're roadmen? We're roadmen.
00:00:20.000 Exactly. Vitamin C. Vitamin C. Come on, I'll drive six hours.
00:00:26.000 See what's the other way.
00:00:27.000 This is vitamin C. No, this is anti-vitamin C. What letter does a cigarette begin with?
00:00:36.000 Nice. You got me!
00:00:40.000 So, cigarettes contain vitamin C. Exactly.
00:00:44.000 Exactly.
00:00:45.000 Alright.
00:00:45.000 Exactly.
00:00:46.000 We're getting a storm.
00:00:47.000 It's true.
00:00:48.000 It's true.
00:00:49.000 Turn in the void, void, turn in the void, void, turn in the void, it makes me turn.
00:00:56.000 In the void, void, void, turn in the void, turn in the void, it makes me turn.
00:01:05.000 Right, we're off to the mountains.
00:01:09.000 Let's fucking go.
00:01:12.000 It's been a year and a half since I've left the house.
00:01:13.000 It's very early. Five something.
00:01:16.000 It's a little bit too early for crazy Jamaican music.
00:01:21.000 If you're a pussy. So we're going to go to the mountains and I have no intention, I have no idea what we're going to do because they put a bunch of activities together.
00:01:31.000 But... The only activity I'm interested in is fighting the Matrix.
00:01:35.000 Destroying them. Staying alive.
00:01:37.000 Staying alive is activity for me.
00:01:39.000 They're like, hey, we can go do this extreme activity.
00:01:41.000 Nah, bruh. Nah. That's when they're going to set it up.
00:01:44.000 That's when they're going to get me. Horse riding.
00:01:46.000 No, the horse is trained by the Matrix.
00:01:48.000 You don't even understand. That's when they're going to get me.
00:01:50.000 When I'm trying to find fun.
00:01:51.000 No, my fun is security team sitting around strapped looking out the window That's my fun.
00:01:59.000 My fun is staying alive as long as possible, which is difficult in my scenario.
00:02:03.000 Not jumping out any planes, none of this extreme sports crap, go in the ocean.
00:02:07.000 Ooh, I got wet. So gay.
00:02:12.000 No. So we're gonna go there, they've got all these activities planned, I'm gonna look at them one by one and go, nah, sorry.
00:02:17.000 Sorry. Nuh-uh.
00:02:20.000 White people shit. White people love that shit.
00:02:22.000 Being brown is extreme enough.
00:02:25.000 So we're gonna go to the mountains, I'm gonna set my laptop and I'm gonna work.
00:02:28.000 Which would be a welcome change from waking up in my house and sitting on my laptop from working.
00:02:32.000 I'm sure it would be very different.
00:02:33.000 Totally worth the six hour drive. Totally worth it.
00:02:36.000 , What juice is that?
00:03:05.000 That's a kitty cat.
00:03:12.000 Bro, you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth.
00:03:18.000 You're not from where I'm from.
00:03:20.000 What do you know about the ghetto?
00:03:22.000 Bro, we're from the same ends.
00:03:24.000 What are you talking about? No, no, no.
00:03:25.000 Your street is a whole two streets away.
00:03:28.000 It must have been different over there.
00:03:30.000 Gold-plated. This is bad man juice.
00:03:34.000 What do you mean what juice is this?
00:03:36.000 Would you fuck with him, seriously?
00:03:37.000 Like, on the street? Yes, but...
00:03:40.000 No, no. You see him on the street.
00:03:43.000 Street rules. Would you fight him?
00:03:46.000 Maybe not streaks. Exactly.
00:03:49.000 Real G's drink this.
00:03:51.000 It's Ted. I'll prove to you once and for all, Ted's a G. In this bullshit world we live in, Greta, paper straw garbage, Ted has a plastic straw.
00:04:06.000 Ted didn't sell out to the agenda.
00:04:08.000 And sometimes, what really makes a man is not how he looks, but the fact that he stands up for what he believes in.
00:04:16.000 Against the enslavement that they're trying to bestow upon us all, Marcel.
00:04:20.000 So just because you grew up with your Silver Spoon bullshit, you don't know what a gangster Ted is.
00:04:23.000 Maybe now you can appreciate that he's fighting for your rights to have a plastic straw instead of becoming a little climate change, bug-eating, carbon-credited piece of shit.
00:04:35.000 I think you owe him something.
00:04:36.000 I think you owe Ted an apology.
00:04:38.000 He might be a geodaptic straw.
00:04:40.000 Bruv. That might be too.
00:04:42.000 Built different. Is it good at least?
00:04:47.000 Bro, I might stop at the next place I see and just rob it.
00:04:52.000 So, Tristan being typical Tristan, saw the itinerary, saw we were supposed to stop here,
00:05:15.000 have a nice coffee, look around the castle, and has just said, no, fuck that, I'm going
00:05:20.000 Because Tristan is Mr. Killjoy.
00:05:22.000 So he's driven straight to the hotel, refusing to do anything, and we've been standing here waiting for him, and he's not coming.
00:05:30.000 100% Tristan.
00:05:32.000 He'll be like, you're a pussy, you don't drink, blah, blah, blah.
00:05:35.000 And if that doesn't work, he then says like, I thought I had a friend.
00:05:39.000 Just one, just one.
00:05:40.000 It's just one drink.
00:05:42.000 Suddenly you're fucked.
00:05:44.000 Every single time.
00:05:45.000 100%. Or he buys the most expensive booze in the place.
00:05:47.000 That's another one he does, yeah. That cost me a thousand euro a shop.
00:05:54.000 Alright. Marcel, it's a death contraption.
00:06:28.000 Bro, that looks super safe to me.
00:06:32.000 Super safe.
00:06:34.000 We're in Romania. Everything's safe here.
00:06:38.000 We're 100% gonna die on this cable car.
00:06:41.000 Why, Marcel?
00:06:42.000 Why? It's so shaky.
00:06:45.000 We tried to bail. Marcel wouldn't let us.
00:06:48.000 Marcel insisted this was a good idea.
00:06:50.000 Super safe. Look. We've got a safety ladder up there.
00:06:54.000 How is that going to help us?
00:06:56.000 In any way, if this falls.
00:07:00.000 As it's falling, you put the ladder on the floor.
00:07:02.000 Climb down before the cart hits the floor and you're good.
00:07:06.000 That is the stairway to heaven, huh?
00:07:08.000 And they ain't letting us sit. So, speak for yourself.
00:07:13.000 Oh, the baby's wearing the Bible.
00:07:15.000 He's alright. At least the whole time I'll be screaming, Marcel Yikan, as we crash down here and then roll the whole way down there to our eventual death.
00:07:34.000 One survivor, Marcel.
00:07:39.000 Street King told you on Built Different.
00:07:42.000 It's exact crap you'll see.
00:07:45.000 On his stream. You know they just couldn't handle it like me.
00:07:52.000 Some bullshit.
00:07:56.000 Made it. Look what we nearly missed.
00:08:02.000 Marcel, this is all your fault.
00:08:05.000 You guys are welcome. Thanks, Marcel.
00:08:12.000 You don't have to carry a knife in here.
00:08:13.000 They sell them for fucking no reason.
00:08:15.000 You know, that's okay. In England, you're not.
00:08:17.000 Here, you can get a shirt. You can buy it along with my bear thermometer.
00:08:23.000 What I've always wanted is a bear thermometer.
00:08:28.000 Would you like a bear thermometer? Of course.
00:08:30.000 Would you like one? Yeah. Because I actually have to wait for her to turn up.
00:08:34.000 Yeah, no. Whoa!
00:08:37.000 What about a bear holding a fish?
00:08:40.000 I think that would look great in my room.
00:08:42.000 Marcel? You know quality when you see it.
00:08:46.000 This is top quality. That's a bear holding a fish.
00:08:50.000 That's not. They probably bought that for like 30 lay and they slip like...
00:08:54.000 Whoa! What do you mean?
00:08:56.000 150. Tic-tac-toe game.
00:08:58.000 That's sick. If they have Marcel here, on the names of Romanian names, I won't buy the bear with the fish.
00:09:07.000 Fair? That's fair.
00:09:09.000 So where's M? Moana, Machira, Morello, Monica.
00:09:19.000 No, we're not buying the bear with the fish.
00:09:21.000 Marcel, your name's on the board!
00:09:24.000 Walking in a forest in the middle of Transylvania and you can hear...
00:09:30.000 In the movie, this is what I would say.
00:09:33.000 Let's turn around and go home.
00:09:35.000 Who dies first in horror movies?
00:09:36.000 Black people. We're good.
00:09:39.000 He wanted to come up here.
00:09:41.000 He wanted to come. We came to the middle of the forest.
00:09:44.000 And there's nothing but a man somewhere playing a saxophone somewhere in the woods.
00:09:48.000 We're on a mountain too, which makes it even more creepy.
00:09:51.000 Why did he come to the woods to play saxophone?
00:09:54.000 We gotta find him. No.
00:09:56.000 We have to. Bro, this is what the white guys say in the movie that leads the black guy dying.
00:10:00.000 Don't worry about it. If there's any problems, we'll just call the police.
00:10:04.000 It was your idea to come up the mountain, Marcel.
00:10:06.000 Now we're going to find the saxophone man.
00:10:11.000 This is exactly how it fucking happens in the film.
00:10:23.000 What happens? The best day of our lives?
00:10:26.000 Everything bad happens in the forest.
00:10:28.000 Marcel, it's a forest.
00:10:29.000 Nothing bad happens in the forest.
00:10:31.000 There's pine cones and trees.
00:10:33.000 And bodies buried somewhere.
00:10:35.000 No! That's not how it works in the forest, Marcel.
00:10:39.000 I don't think anyone's ever died in the forest.
00:10:41.000 Ever. Let's go home.
00:10:45.000 Why has he stopped when we got closer to him?
00:10:46.000 This is my point.
00:10:48.000 Is he seeking up on us?
00:10:50.000 He's friendly.
00:10:52.000 He does seem friendly.
00:10:54.000 See?
00:10:56.000 Praise the Lord.
00:11:12.000 Hallelujah. The Lord is good.
00:11:14.000 In this year, God bless you, every country, with divine protection.
00:11:18.000 Everybody listen to this message.
00:11:21.000 Receive the Lord Jesus Christ in your life.
00:11:24.000 Give your life by God.
00:11:26.000 Receive the power of the Word.
00:11:27.000 Change your life. Give joy, happiness, divine blessing.
00:11:31.000 Because this year, God opened the door for you.
00:11:35.000 Hallelujah. God bless you in Jesus' name.
00:11:37.000 Thank you. God bless you.
00:11:39.000 Thank you, sir. God bless you.
00:11:40.000 Thank you, sir. God bless you.
00:11:42.000 God bless you in Jesus' name.
00:11:43.000 Thank you. Have a good year. You too.
00:11:45.000 In Jesus' name. Bye. Saxophone man is the man.
00:11:49.000 No, so what we actually have to do now is we have to find a way to load up our stats because clearly we were on our way to the hotel and then we sidetracked and came here.
00:11:59.000 So we did a side quest.
00:12:00.000 Then we heard a noise and found a mage in the forest and he gave us some words which now means our holy damage is higher.
00:12:09.000 Think about it. We're living in a simulation.
00:12:11.000 This is clearly a video game. We've done a side quest now.
00:12:14.000 We heard the sax.
00:12:15.000 We walked over. We clicked, yes, talk.
00:12:18.000 We kept pressing A. We kept pressing A. He was talking.
00:12:21.000 And then, boom! Because I don't think I got an item.
00:12:24.000 Did you get an item? I didn't get an item.
00:12:25.000 We didn't get an item. So we must have got holy damage or some shit?
00:12:28.000 Maybe. All I know is we're not dying on the lift back down now.
00:12:32.000 We have divine protection.
00:12:33.000 Or we needed to hear that message to die on an impact town.
00:12:37.000 There's also that.
00:12:39.000 So don't rule it out yet.
00:12:45.000 And a bear thermometer. Why?
00:12:50.000 It's a bear with a fish, bro. It doesn't get better than that.
00:12:52.000 I don't need a bag. It's fine, thanks. I'm going to carry it proudly.
00:12:55.000 No bag. Okay?
00:12:56.000 Yeah, okay. Thank you.
00:13:00.000 Don't worry about the change. Merry Christmas.
00:13:04.000 It's okay. There you go.
00:13:07.000 No, I won't let you down. Marcel has to carry it all the way back to the car.
00:13:11.000 You want it? Thanks.
00:13:14.000 No problem. I'm not scared anymore.
00:13:18.000 Because of Saxon? Of course.
00:13:19.000 We're at peace. We went and we did the side mission.
00:13:22.000 It was dangerous. We walked through the Enchanted Forest, found the mage, the Saxon mage.
00:13:26.000 He gave us the speech, which gave us holy damage, and then on top of that we got the Enchanted Oracle.
00:13:31.000 The Enchanted Oracle.
00:13:32.000 That's right. No, that's the Enchanted Thermomar.
00:13:34.000 Marcel has the Enchanted Oracle.
00:13:39.000 The bear symbolizes strength, and the fish symbolizes...
00:13:42.000 swimming.
00:13:46.000 So now our character can swim, plus extra bonus strength, plus holy damage from the saxophone age.
00:13:54.000 You can't die now. The game's just started.
00:13:57.000 I never felt more calm in a cable car.
00:13:59.000 You better hope and pray.
00:14:06.000 Like your life depends on it.
00:14:31.000 Because if he heard what you said about him, if he heard what you said about him in the car, I'm not stepping in.
00:14:40.000 It's one-on-one you and you.
00:14:42.000 I ain't here to help you.
00:14:43.000 I ain't dying along with you.
00:14:45.000 Looks like he's not here right now.
00:14:48.000 It's a fucking day. Ted's scared.
00:14:50.000 Whenever I'm at a gas station, I'll buy random things and start buying them because I've had so much money that I feel like I need more stuff because I don't need more.
00:14:55.000 Why do you have that in your hand?
00:14:57.000 Piscotapani. You call that random?
00:14:59.000 I thought you don't even know what that means.
00:15:01.000 I know that I don't have a CD player.
00:15:03.000 And I will still buy this CD. What about Kosseth Gergo?
00:15:11.000 You're right, both. What's this?
00:15:15.000 You don't even have a CD player.
00:15:16.000 What is this? I need it.
00:15:20.000 The thing is, money has absolutely no value at all.
00:15:24.000 Everything's free. It's free.
00:15:27.000 It's free. You want this? It's free. No, I don't want it.
00:15:29.000 It's for you. You don't want any of the things you just picked up.
00:15:34.000 I've been looking for one of these. What is it? I've been looking for one of these.
00:15:35.000 It's a V27A battery.
00:15:38.000 I've been looking for it for...
00:15:39.000 10.
00:15:47.000 Something enchanted.
00:15:49.000 Oracle. What did your mate give us?
00:15:50.000 Marcel, your mate? We got that.
00:15:55.000 And now we have the sounds of angels from the hidden cave.
00:16:03.000 The sounds of banshees, which were...
00:16:09.000 Forbidden from leaving an ancient cave in which they've sit for the last 5,000 years gathering ancient powers waiting for me to come along and listen to their sounds so I gather their ancient powers.
00:16:18.000 And in their language you say all that by saying Piscota Pani.
00:16:24.000 Do you understand? What's happened?
00:16:26.000 Unfortunately I don't have a CD player in my RS7 ABT. For some reason they think CDs are out of date.
00:16:32.000 Weird. But obviously they're not because they're selling them in gas stations in Romania which means it must be the height of technology.
00:16:38.000 That's a good point. So now we need to get a CD player so we can listen to Piscondapani and learn the secrets of the Banshees which were stuck in the cave for thousands of years after the Saxophone Oracle gave you the Enchanted Amulet.
00:16:49.000 New side mission, screw our trip, we have to go find a CD player.
00:16:53.000 That's the new mission. The trip!
00:16:58.000 Nice. So what are these things?
00:17:02.000 Oh, they're road trip essentials.
00:17:04.000 These are just tools. Defense mechanism.
00:17:06.000 It's an axe and a saw.
00:17:10.000 Do you admit that with an axe and a saw, you feel more ready for the day?
00:17:14.000 Yes. Whatever might come your way, you have more options than perhaps you had before.
00:17:21.000 We made it.
00:17:28.000 The only reason we got here safely on our treacherous journey is Enchanted Oracle.
00:17:42.000 We're going to go to the temple.
00:17:49.000 We're going to go to the temple.
00:18:15.000 We did a side quest where we went looking for the saxophone playing Mage of the Forest and we found him and he blessed us for 2024 and increased our holy damage after we transcended a mountain by a cubicle car.
00:18:27.000 I see. I see.
00:18:30.000 And then we got the enchanted oracle, which Marcel has.
00:18:33.000 You don't know about the enchanted oracle?
00:18:35.000 It's a magical item.
00:18:39.000 This is all horseshit.
00:18:40.000 No. You're just sad you missed out.
00:18:43.000 No one's gonna believe us.
00:18:44.000 It was almost too crazy to be true.
00:18:46.000 It's a good thing it's on video. I'm a bit sad.
00:18:47.000 But I still don't believe it.
00:18:48.000 So that's where I'm at on a Bailey music playing...
00:18:52.000 music playing...
00:18:54.000 music playing...
00:18:56.000 See ya.
00:19:23.000 It's very cold. It's very cold.
00:19:26.000 So I need to make a very big fire?
00:19:29.000 There is no size of fire at which I will look and say, that fire's too big.
00:19:34.000 Someone might get burned.
00:19:36.000 Tristan might get burned.
00:19:38.000 I think I give a solitary fuck.
00:19:39.000 I am the fire. I will build the fire so large that our problem is only that we are too long.
00:19:45.000 Too long. Maybe dead.
00:19:48.000 Your girlfriend just broke up with you over the phone.
00:19:50.000 Then again, she was probably cheating on you with another guy anyway.
00:19:54.000 But can you really blame her?
00:19:56.000 Did you expect her to stand by your side whilst you were busy doing nothing?
00:19:59.000 No ambition. Lazy, broke and out of shape.
00:20:02.000 Look at yourself. It's time to flip the script.
00:20:05.000 It's a good thing you just joined the real world.
00:20:07.000 The best financial educational platform on planet earth.
00:20:11.000 Now what business model would you follow?
00:20:42.000 Which campus will you choose?