Tate Speech - April 19, 2024


The Texan Takes It All | Tate Confidential Ep 227


Episode Stats

Length

16 minutes

Words per Minute

121.137726

Word Count

2,023

Sentence Count

302

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

8


Summary

In this episode, the guys talk about a lot of different things, but the main topic of discussion is eggs. Do you believe in eggs? Do you think eggs are real? Is the sun a real thing? Are eggs real? What do you think about eggs? Do you have a theory about eggs, or do you just not believe in them? If you don't have an opinion on this, then maybe you should listen to this episode of the podcast before you decide if you believe it's real or not. Also, we talk about how we are built different from each other, so if you're not a Christian, you should probably just go read the Bible or something like that, because we're not all built the same, we're just built a little bit differently than you are, but we're all built different, so don't judge us by our differences. We're built different. We're all different. And we all have different brains, we just need to learn to be more like each other to make sense of the world we live in this crazy, crazy world we're living in. Enjoy the episode, guys! -The Guys (and don't be mad at us for being mad at each other for not believing in eggs, because it's not really a thing, it's just a thing that happens in real life. -Alex, Jim, Alex, Andrew, and Bailey. We'll figure it out together, we'll figure this out together. Thanks for listening, guys. xoxo. XOXOXO - The Guys, -Jonah, Alex and Bailey, Jim and Andrew, Brandon, and Brandon, Alex, (and Alex, too slow, too fast, not fast enough, not slow enough, etc, etc etc) and the rest. (not fast enough? ) (honestly, I don't know what's funnier than you can be more funny than you're funny than us, right? ) -Josie, not too slow? (I'm sorry, not funny enough, but I'm not enough, right?? ? , not funny, but good enough, good enough??) :D Thank you for listening to this, guys, thank you so much, bye, bye bye, good night, bye. <3 Jonah & Andrew


Transcript

00:00:00.000 How are you?
00:00:10.000 Good. Where you been? Jim? Jim.
00:00:12.000 Alex. Alex the man.
00:00:14.000 Nice to see you. Andrew.
00:00:18.000 Too slow! I got you.
00:00:23.000 Is that funny? That was pretty funny.
00:00:26.000 You have to admit it. I got you. I don't find that funny.
00:00:30.000 I find it offensive. You find it offensive?
00:00:33.000 Yeah. Because I trusted you.
00:00:36.000 It's not that I was actually too slow, because I didn't try and move fast.
00:00:39.000 It's that I trusted you and you broke the trust.
00:00:41.000 I don't think that's funny. I don't think breaking the trust of your friends is a very funny thing to do, Bailey.
00:00:45.000 Maybe for you white people, that's normal.
00:00:47.000 But where I'm from, when you grow up together and you live together and you're fighting a war against the matrix, you rely on each other.
00:00:52.000 But I guess we're just built a little bit differently, aren't we?
00:00:54.000 Okay, okay. No, no, no, no.
00:00:56.000 Let's try it again. Let's try it again.
00:00:58.000 I will never shake your hand again.
00:01:23.000 You can take your Christian shit.
00:01:25.000 You can go read that Bible.
00:01:27.000 Jesus forgives. I don't.
00:01:29.000 Ever. We do jihad.
00:01:31.000 We're built different. You can go forgive.
00:01:34.000 Go forgive. Go read the Bible. No.
00:01:35.000 Try Jesus. Don't try me.
00:01:38.000 Andrew. No. I will never, ever shake your hand ever again.
00:01:43.000 So you're just going to leave me hanging forever?
00:01:45.000 Correct. Fair.
00:01:49.000 Fair. Last time you said that you gave him beef ribs and everyone on that TC episode freaked out because they said like those bones can like kill him.
00:02:19.000 Like pierce his stomach. Freaked out where?
00:02:20.000 What do you mean? He just said you're not supposed to give dogs bones like that because it can kill them.
00:02:25.000 What, in the comments? Yeah.
00:02:27.000 There's like 50 comments. I'm a real G with street problems.
00:02:30.000 You think I read fucking comments?
00:02:32.000 I don't read comments. I don't give a shit what they say.
00:02:34.000 Plus, they obviously forgot the science that I am built different.
00:02:37.000 Meaning, by extension, my boy's built different.
00:02:40.000 Imagine having a dog that's dead from a bone.
00:02:42.000 Isn't it give a dog a bone?
00:02:44.000 Isn't that the whole fucking song?
00:02:46.000 Can't give your dog a bone, it might die.
00:02:49.000 No wonder all of you fucking losers can't get anywhere in life.
00:02:53.000 Even your dogs are pussies.
00:02:55.000 Bro, G is built different.
00:02:56.000 He'll eat a fucking cow.
00:02:59.000 Bone and all. Fucking crying her eyes about giving your dog a bone.
00:03:03.000 The world's gone so fucking soft.
00:03:05.000 I eat those bones, bro.
00:03:07.000 I chew those beef rib bones myself.
00:03:10.000 If there's one thing that doesn't police my behavior, it's the comment section.
00:03:14.000 She's built different. As am I. Yeah, Bailey's a Star Tard.
00:03:18.000 I think the sun's real. The sun's real, bro.
00:03:22.000 I think the sun is a star.
00:03:24.000 And you think it's real. I mean, you're a Star Tard.
00:03:28.000 You're a Star Tard, bro. I mean, you weren't with us and could take confidential when we worked out the eggs weren't real.
00:03:32.000 I meant that you were still somewhere in Texas reading the Bible.
00:03:35.000 Do you believe in eggs?
00:03:38.000 I knew this couldn't be real.
00:03:39.000 Do you believe in eggs?
00:03:41.000 That's what I mean. There can't be a super high net worth, an ultra high net worth individual.
00:03:47.000 Cannot be asking me whether I believe in eggs.
00:03:49.000 Do you believe in them? No, I've gone mad.
00:03:50.000 I've gone insane. Do you believe in eggs?
00:03:52.000 This is a big fantasy land.
00:03:53.000 So wait, eggs, right? So it's an egg.
00:03:55.000 Yeah. And if you eat it, it's good for you.
00:03:56.000 But if you don't eat it, it becomes a dinosaur.
00:03:59.000 Or chicken, yeah.
00:04:00.000 Or like a crocodile, yeah.
00:04:02.000 Do you believe in that? I don't believe in eggs, buddy.
00:04:04.000 Sorry. I'm not sure I believe in boats.
00:04:06.000 Wait a second. Andrew might be fucking right.
00:04:08.000 There might be no such thing as fucking eggs.
00:04:09.000 You tried to order me eggs on the menu, and this has come.
00:04:12.000 And they're trying to pretend this is eggs?
00:04:14.000 So is eggs like a floating, a-a-a-changes?
00:04:17.000 Is that an egg? Is that how they describe eggs?
00:04:18.000 They're telling me eggs are real. You just order off the menu.
00:04:21.000 You try to order eggs to be a smart ass, and this shit came.
00:04:23.000 It's just an egg. You said when that egg's come, you're up to admit eggs are real, blah blah blah.
00:04:27.000 I did say that. I agree with that, 100%.
00:04:33.000 And now you're sitting here telling me that the sun is real.
00:04:37.000 The sun's definitely real. You missed out on something.
00:04:38.000 You've been discovering what's real and what isn't for the longest time, and Bailey was somewhere in Texas.
00:04:44.000 Alright, Bailey, prove the sun's real.
00:04:46.000 Have you ever touched the sun?
00:04:47.000 Bro, I'm gonna go touch it now.
00:04:49.000 Have you ever held it? Bring me the sun if it's real.
00:04:54.000 F*** you and your burden of proof.
00:04:56.000 It's not even real because you can't even look at it.
00:04:59.000 How can you look at something that's not real?
00:05:01.000 Don't even look at the sun.
00:05:04.000 If you go blind, I'll admit it's real.
00:05:06.000 Only if you go blind.
00:05:08.000 If you don't go blind, it's not real.
00:05:12.000 See? Can't even look at it.
00:05:14.000 How can you look at something that's not... How can you look at something?
00:05:16.000 How come your camera can't see the sun?
00:05:19.000 Wait a minute. Bailey, I'm not joking.
00:05:22.000 Your camera can't see the sun.
00:05:23.000 Why is that? Put your camera in the sun.
00:05:25.000 So wait. We're talking about something that Bailey can't look at that doesn't appear on camera.
00:05:31.000 Baby, point that camera at the sun.
00:05:32.000 You cannot see the sun on that camera.
00:05:34.000 It doesn't exist! It's never existed!
00:05:37.000 Your camera is the real universe.
00:05:40.000 Your mind has been fooled into thinking there's something called the sun up there, but the camera is a machine.
00:05:45.000 It's not emotionally swayed by the arguments of big sun and big government.
00:05:49.000 Point the camera at the sun and admit you can't see it with the camera.
00:05:51.000 Heat comes from the Earth's molten core.
00:05:53.000 From the ground, dummy.
00:05:55.000 Yeah, the air is warm enough.
00:05:57.000 Doesn't need no sun. You're a space tar.
00:05:59.000 Yeah. I have nothing to say.
00:06:03.000 Why do you wear such dorky little glasses?
00:06:06.000 Because they make my skinny neck look bigger.
00:06:09.000 It keeps the focus up here and not down here, you know?
00:06:14.000 Why don't you just get your eyes laser and be Cyclops?
00:06:17.000 Absolutely not. I'm scared of lasers.
00:06:19.000 I'm scared of lasers because I'm a super dork.
00:06:22.000 I tried staring at the sun once but then I realized it wasn't real because Tristan was correct.
00:06:28.000 You look so weird in those.
00:06:31.000 Yeah, so do you. I'm trying to show you how gay you look.
00:06:36.000 I can hear you on the mic.
00:06:39.000 Can you hear me on the mic? We're going to be live editing this one.
00:06:43.000 Cool. So I've prepared absolutely zero questions.
00:06:46.000 That's good. No, that's fantastic.
00:06:47.000 We'll just freestyle it. Yes, I don't think we need questions.
00:06:50.000 Me neither. I think we'll agree on most things.
00:06:53.000 Hopefully we disagree on a few things as well, because it'll be an interesting conversation.
00:06:56.000 But if not, we can just complain.
00:06:58.000 Yes, we can. British. I think we can compare quite a lot as well.
00:07:02.000 I think we've had many similar experiences at different levels.
00:07:06.000 Absolutely, absolutely.
00:07:08.000 I'm here.
00:07:44.000 A little different.
00:07:46.000 I'm on some 2024 badness.
00:07:48.000 I'm all bad back. You do have to fuel up for body shots in a few minutes.
00:07:53.000 Oh yeah, I'm probably beating the shit out of everybody.
00:07:57.000 One? Let's go, bro.
00:07:58.000 Let's go! Luke's gonna get his ass whooped by a man who is fueled by M&Ms.
00:08:04.000 And strawberries. And strawberries.
00:08:06.000 Well, I mean... Why are we taking this elevator?
00:08:09.000 Why? Why?
00:08:11.000 Come on! Come on! It'll be snuggle-vuggle!
00:08:13.000 This is the shittiest elevator.
00:08:15.000 This is the greatest elevator. Look how small it is.
00:08:17.000 Look, his head's nearly on the bloody thing.
00:08:19.000 Take him off my face!
00:08:20.000 🎵🎵🎵 You're not going to tell me what to do, boys.
00:08:51.000 Nice, that was fucking beautiful.
00:08:53.000 🎵🎵🎵 Go on, Andrew. Drop it, drop it.
00:09:06.000 That's it, that's it, that's it.
00:09:08.000 Nice, nice. All that calisthenics.
00:09:14.000 Let's go. Ten seconds last.
00:09:16.000 Ten seconds last. All out, all out, all out wall.
00:09:19.000 All out wall. All out wall.
00:09:21.000 All out wall.
00:09:22.000 All out wall. All out wall.
00:09:23.000 All out wall. All out wall. All out wall. All out wall. All right.
00:09:24.000 Breathe, breathe, breathe.
00:09:26.000 Breathe, breathe, breathe. Just so people know, we went straight from Katie Hopkins right to sparring.
00:10:51.000 Not even five minutes.
00:10:52.000 We were home. Shorts on, gloves on, go.
00:10:55.000 One minute.
00:11:10.000 Three, two, one.
00:11:14.000 More clothes. Come on!
00:11:23.000 Fuckin' go! All the energy you need to fuck pussy.
00:11:26.000 No energy for this whore.
00:11:28.000 Wait a second.
00:11:29.000 I can't think of a better gift to give Luke for his birthday than a broken rib.
00:11:39.000 rib.
00:11:41.000 I'll do my best. Is that going to be your birthday present?
00:11:44.000 Yeah. He brought me the gift of pain.
00:11:47.000 The gift of pain.
00:11:48.000 Normally your friends, they get you nice things.
00:11:51.000 36 rounds for a birthday.
00:11:52.000 The gift of pain. If he's going to break your rib for your birthday, then I'm going to take all your money at poker.
00:11:56.000 Good luck, bro. The rib might happen.
00:11:59.000 The rib might happen. You are not touching a fucking penny of my money.
00:12:03.000 That is not going to age well, but it's fine.
00:12:05.000 Hey, beautiful, beautiful.
00:12:10.000 Ten seconds.
00:12:12.000 Last ten, you're asking everything you've got.
00:12:14.000 Don't stop punching, don't stop punching.
00:12:16.000 Forward.
00:12:18.000 Slow down, go, go, go, go, go.
00:12:23.000 Gee if you have to.
00:12:25.000 Breathe, breathe, breathe.
00:12:31.000 Ten.
00:12:33.000 Three, two, one, time.
00:12:40.000 Last shot was good.
00:12:44.000 Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, da-da.
00:12:46.000 Five, four, three, two, one, time.
00:12:55.000 Nine.
00:12:59.000 Love you.
00:13:01.000 It's poker time, boys.
00:13:05.000 boys let's go you were in your tactical gear I see Very comfortable. That is a very good move.
00:13:18.000 Tristan's going to get stuffy in his tuxedo.
00:13:21.000 You're playing for comfort.
00:13:22.000 I think you might have an advantage there.
00:13:24.000 So, plus one point to Andrew, for sure.
00:13:27.000 But, Nigel is wearing the tactical black man bandana, so we're all screwed.
00:13:32.000 Just saying. I had the highest pair on the board until the eight came up.
00:14:18.000 Two diamonds, but I didn't worry about that after the flop.
00:14:20.000 Well, I had ace, two, three, four.
00:14:23.000 Well, you had what?
00:14:25.000 The losing hand? Is that what I heard?
00:14:28.000 For the first time tonight, yeah.
00:14:29.000 For the first time tonight, I had the losing hand.
00:14:31.000 Quite a big one though, wasn't it?
00:14:32.000 It was fairly big, I'm still doing okay.
00:14:35.000 Check.
00:14:37.000 Check.
00:14:40.000 This evening's banker.
00:14:47.000 I don't know how Tristan feels holding my money.
00:14:51.000 That's a lot more thinking right now.
00:14:52.000 Let's dance, ladies. Let's dance.
00:14:54.000 Tristan, are you turning up the shit talk?
00:14:56.000 I'm turning up the shit talk. Oh, no, no, no.
00:14:58.000 The shit talk's now being turned back.
00:15:00.000 All right, good. Oh, you have to be fucking joking.
00:15:05.000 Oh, quiet. Seven's coming.
00:15:09.000 It's all right. It works. Suck my short dick!
00:15:13.000 A lanky, ugly, goofy, birthday thrift.
00:15:19.000 I don't know. You took him out.
00:15:21.000 Fucking knew it, cunt.
00:15:25.000 I'm happy. Look, look, look.
00:15:29.000 You could use my life. Why are we playing Uno for $500?
00:15:36.000 Because we are. Highest car goes first, yeah?
00:15:39.000 Sure. Ooh.
00:15:43.000 It skips higher than eight.
00:15:45.000 It just is, isn't it? It's a better card.
00:15:47.000 So what does that mean? I go first?
00:15:49.000 You go first, so I deal to myself first.
00:15:51.000 Alright, let's do it. I insist you cut the deck.
00:15:54.000 Tristan, it's 5 a.m.
00:15:56.000 I know, buddy. We've been gambling playing poker all night.
00:16:00.000 I've won loads of money on side bets.
00:16:02.000 Cut the deck. So I deal to me first, you go first.
00:16:05.000 I'm going to get a statue. Let's go.
00:16:07.000 What's up, baby?
00:16:14.000 More money.
00:16:17.000 Why are we playing catch?
00:16:20.000 Give me your money.
00:16:22.000 Give me your money.
00:16:33.000 Thank you, sir. Good night.
00:16:39.000 You are not touching a fucking penny of my money.