Tate Speech - March 26, 2024


The Untold Wudan Adventures | Tate Confidential Ep 223


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

165.4693

Word Count

2,380

Sentence Count

288

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

13


Summary

Tristan and Bailey are on the road again, but this time they re headed to the mountains to escape society and the people around them. They ve got a plan, and it s going to be a long drive, but they re not going to make it in time for bedtime, and they re going to do it in the middle of nowhere, where no one can help them but each other. Will they make it? Will they survive the drive, or will they die in the mountains, or is it just another day in the life of a road tripper? Will they ever make it to the first destination they ve set out to, or are they going to end up back at the same place they started, and with the same problems they were a week ago, and the same problem they had before they left the last place they were supposed to be. The answer to all of these questions and more will be found in this episode of Roadmen: Part 2 of Road Men: The Road Trip, where they take a drive through the mountains and attempt to escape civilization and everything that comes with it, and try to find the one of the most important things they ve ever needed to survive in the most remote and isolated place in the world, the mountains. Part 2 will be released on Tuesday, May 1st, but be sure to stay tuned until then for Part 1 of the Roadmen series. The Roadmen Podcast! If you like Roadmen, you won t want to miss this one. The Roadman Podcast, you re gonna love this one, because it s a good one. Also, if you re in need of a good ol' road trip story, this one is a must listen. Enjoy the Roadman podcast. - Andrew and Bailey, don t forget to check out the episode. . . . and if you don t have a car to drive with them out there, you ll have to listen to it on the first episode of the new season of Roadman: Roadmen Part 2, which is out soon, so you ll get a discount code for a chance to get 20% off the entire season of the show, and a discount on the second season, so don t miss out on the third season of The Road Man Podcast, but you ll need to go to the next episode, so make sure to check it out and get the discount code "Roadman's Roadman" at checkout for the second episode!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Roadmen Part 3.
00:00:23.000 At this point I think it is.
00:00:50.000 I like your hat. You look like Uncle Eddie from the Griswolds, dude.
00:00:56.000 Do you know who that is? Who the fuck is Uncle Eddie from the Griswolds?
00:01:00.000 I have absolutely no idea who that is.
00:01:04.000 Genuinely deep. You could put him in front of me and say, what's this person's name for $10 million?
00:01:08.000 I don't have a fucking clue.
00:01:10.000 Is this the crap you watch in Texas, Bailey?
00:01:12.000 Is this what you do when you sit around on your farms watching Griswolds?
00:01:18.000 Weirdos. Waiting for an illegal immigrant to break into your house.
00:01:21.000 Nothing. Is that your life?
00:01:24.000 I guess. Seems so.
00:01:26.000 You ready to be on the road again?
00:01:29.000 I am actually a road man.
00:01:31.000 Actually, yes. Built for the road.
00:01:33.000 Road man. Where are we going today?
00:01:36.000 Somewhere deep into the mountains to hide from civilization and decod.
00:01:42.000 Let's see how it goes.
00:01:43.000 Let's go. It's four hours and 18 minutes to the first destination.
00:01:50.000 At least we've still got Kossuth Gerbo and his bangers.
00:01:56.000 To keep us motivated on the drive.
00:01:58.000 I've yet to play it. Because I'm saving it.
00:02:01.000 To replace sleep.
00:02:02.000 When I'm really tired, I'll put it on and I'll feel rejuvenated.
00:02:05.000 And entertained. Everyone's a dipshit and nobody seems to realize that.
00:02:12.000 All the people you rely on, your dentist, your doctor, they're a dipshit.
00:02:16.000 The nurse in the fucking hospital is a dipshit.
00:02:18.000 The police are dipshits.
00:02:20.000 Everyone's a dipshit. You're driving around, you're living in this society.
00:02:23.000 All the people in the cars around you are dipshits.
00:02:25.000 They're all fucking stupid.
00:02:27.000 If you were to get them all...
00:02:28.000 If you were to get all the people I just described and put them in a line and say...
00:02:31.000 Tell me your name, tell me your age, and tell me something remarkable about you.
00:02:36.000 Not only would most of them have nothing to say, even worse, most of them couldn't even construct a sentence.
00:02:41.000 They'd go, um, my name is, uh, uh, Robert, and I am 34?
00:02:49.000 And, uh, shut the fuck up, you dumb cunt.
00:02:52.000 You can't even fucking tell me your name and age.
00:02:54.000 It takes a fucking full minute.
00:02:56.000 There's nothing interesting about you at all to say, and you cannot put together a compendious interesting sentence in the only language you speak, which is English.
00:03:04.000 People say to me all the time, Andrew, I love how you talk on your podcast.
00:03:08.000 I love the way you get your ideas across.
00:03:09.000 It's really interesting and engaging.
00:03:10.000 And I say, yeah, but you have not seen it from the flip side.
00:03:13.000 You don't see how annoying that is for me to listen to any of you dipshits.
00:03:17.000 Because none of you can fucking speak.
00:03:18.000 Nobody can say anything in a way which is less than infuriating.
00:03:22.000 I just have to sit there and listen to people stumble their way through the English language their whole fucking lives.
00:03:27.000 And then I'm like, okay, dummy.
00:03:28.000 So what's your job? Oh, I'm a judge.
00:03:31.000 Oh, fuck's sake.
00:03:32.000 Great. Great.
00:03:34.000 Definitely not toast. Fuck society.
00:03:37.000 We're going to the mountains and we're hiding from everyone.
00:03:39.000 We're going to try to avoid as many dipshits as possible.
00:03:41.000 That's our plan. Go deep, deep, deep into the mountains.
00:03:44.000 And if you say I'm that guy from that fucking show again, you're going missing.
00:03:48.000 Fuck you. One less Texan in Romania.
00:03:51.000 Who gives a shit? Nobody.
00:03:53.000 I'm Jammin out to JoJo. More about my street credits.
00:04:05.000 I'm built different. JoJo was 14 singing about her relationship troubles.
00:04:11.000 She had no clue.
00:04:13.000 Still a banger though. She didn't have a clue.
00:04:16.000 Wait till you're 37 with 25 women.
00:04:18.000 Jesus. Why are you impulsively shopping for more things at the gas station?
00:04:23.000 You don't need anything else.
00:04:27.000 And you know I'm right.
00:04:30.000 We're lookin' for one of these.
00:04:33.000 I'm looking for one of these.
00:04:37.000 Nice. Not one of these.
00:04:42.000 We need Nerf guns.
00:04:44.000 How many cars are there?
00:04:58.000 There's our car. Tristan's car.
00:05:01.000 Security. And the SSB car.
00:05:06.000 Carrying the very important games console SSB. It's hard to feed the living fuck out of all of you in the mountains.
00:05:13.000 Because you cannot escape destiny.
00:05:15.000 Even if you leave the house, you need your endless searching retribution.
00:05:20.000 SSB is essential. Exactly.
00:05:22.000 So it's got its own designated car to make sure it gets there.
00:05:26.000 Wait, did we pack the UNO? Genuine question.
00:05:29.000 Need an UNO car now. We're in the middle of nowhere.
00:05:47.000 There's gonna be bears.
00:05:48.000 So? Who cares?
00:05:51.000 I'm not scared of bears. Bears are scared of me.
00:05:54.000 Bro, I'm not trying to be an easy mule for a bear.
00:05:57.000 There's a 70% chance we're gonna see a bear.
00:06:00.000 We're going bear hunting. If a bear sees us, it's fucked.
00:06:06.000 We're gonna go find a bear.
00:06:08.000 And in fact, you know what?
00:06:10.000 I like bears. Bears, if I was an animal, I'd be a bear.
00:06:15.000 They're my spirit animal. Because everyone thinks they're cuddly and cute, and they're brown, and they're warm.
00:06:21.000 And everyone loves them, and when people see them, they're like, aww, just like me, top G. And he's big and warm and brown.
00:06:27.000 But if you piss him off, everyone dies.
00:06:31.000 Everyone dies. And I feel like that's basically me.
00:06:35.000 So I actually like bears. So when I find the bear, what I'm going to do is say, hello bear, I'm one of you.
00:06:40.000 I invite you to the mansion to come live with me.
00:06:44.000 What could possibly go wrong?
00:06:46.000 I won't even have to tame the bear.
00:06:47.000 He's just going to naturally agree and say, ah, the bear king.
00:06:50.000 Top G. G stands for bear.
00:06:53.000 I'm gonna come live with you and the guys.
00:06:55.000 Admit it'd be more interesting episodes and a more interesting life.
00:06:57.000 It was all of us in the house, plus a bear.
00:06:59.000 That might be pretty cool. So we're gonna find him now and invite him.
00:07:03.000 Alright, let's go. I like your hiking shoes, by the way.
00:07:08.000 Oh yeah, I'm very well prepared. You weren't prepared.
00:07:10.000 Sweatpants, Hugo Boss shoes.
00:07:12.000 Have you got waterproof boots on?
00:07:14.000 I don't know. I don't know what these are.
00:07:15.000 Oh god, you're so gay. My feet will get wet and cold.
00:07:18.000 Your mate Alex got them for me, I don't know.
00:07:20.000 You are so gay. All you people with your, my feet will get wet and cold.
00:07:24.000 What next? Transgender?
00:07:27.000 I hope you step in a puddle. Is that what's next?
00:07:29.000 My feet will get soaking wet and freezing cold.
00:07:32.000 And I'll just deal with it like a fucking man.
00:07:35.000 Who cares? Bruh, that's all fucking.
00:07:39.000 That's not a serious old movement.
00:07:40.000 When it's winter, you can see them moving up in the hills.
00:07:44.000 Funny, funny ain't nothing to do with that.
00:07:46.000 I'm just saying it. There's a bear, I'll tell you.
00:07:50.000 Tristan has his tactical knife.
00:07:52.000 We're fine. Yeah, we are fine.
00:07:54.000 Well I'm fine.
00:07:56.000 You can catch me.
00:07:58.000 Right, I think we take a left here.
00:08:06.000 Wait. Thank you.
00:08:09.000 This is getting awfully white.
00:08:14.000 Awfully white. Let's take a look.
00:08:17.000 In the woods, the only thing worth seeing, I've already seen.
00:08:20.000 His name's the saxophone mage.
00:08:21.000 I already spoke to him. That's where horror movies happen.
00:08:25.000 White people enjoy, for some reason, greater mages in these woods.
00:08:28.000 Nah, no one's greater than him. Don't say that again.
00:08:32.000 You hear me? Alright, so stick to the road.
00:08:34.000 Don't say that again. Stick to the road.
00:08:35.000 Don't say that again. There are mages great in him, I don't care.
00:08:37.000 Whoa! Turn left to what?
00:08:40.000 Watch out. This is bullshit!
00:08:42.000 Why do you want to walk in a massive circle?
00:08:43.000 What's the point? First, I'm taking a fix.
00:08:46.000 What's the objective? Explain hiking to me.
00:08:48.000 Make this make sense. You walk and then you come home.
00:08:51.000 Is that what happens? Why the fuck do you people do this?
00:08:56.000 If you survive. Sounds gay.
00:08:58.000 I'm doing it but I want you all to know I'm extremely upset by this.
00:09:05.000 That was great guys.
00:09:17.000 That was so much fun. I totally get why you white people love hiking.
00:09:20.000 Totally get it. Totally understand.
00:09:22.000 That was so much fun. See you home.
00:09:25.000 Boring. Andrew we just started.
00:09:27.000 If we all go back home, that would be the ultimate joke on T. What if we just all collectively turned around and went
00:09:40.000 home?
00:09:41.000 I must go with him. Sorry bro, I have to go as well.
00:09:43.000 Why? It's cardio, man.
00:09:46.000 Cardio? Yeah, we need to do our training.
00:09:49.000 In the middle of the woods, where the bears are.
00:09:51.000 Bro, you don't feel- Great idea, Alex.
00:09:53.000 You don't feel the oxygen. You don't feel the negative eons.
00:09:56.000 I can breathe in the hot tub.
00:09:57.000 The antioxidants. That's true.
00:09:59.000 India. Bro, we can breathe in the hot tub.
00:10:01.000 We can breathe in the hot tub, that's true. It's the same oxygen over there as it is up here.
00:10:04.000 Exactly. We're in the middle of nowhere.
00:10:06.000 It's powerful here. You don't feel the spirit of the woods?
00:10:10.000 No. The spirit of the tree?
00:10:11.000 No. It's bullshit. You must feel it.
00:10:14.000 Just relax. Alex.
00:10:16.000 Debris. I want some actual advice.
00:10:19.000 If it's six hours to top the mountain back, then let's all wake up tomorrow morning at 8 and go.
00:10:25.000 We walk the six hour up the mountain, Rourke Road.
00:10:28.000 Six hours? What the fuck are you talking about?
00:10:31.000 Who walks for six hours in a forest?
00:10:34.000 What is woods that we know nothing about?
00:10:36.000 And march up. It's six hours to the mountain top.
00:10:38.000 Let's do it tomorrow morning.
00:10:39.000 No!
00:10:41.000 You in Alex?
00:10:42.000 Let's not do it at all.
00:10:43.000 Fuck the hike now, it's getting dark anyway.
00:10:45.000 No, we're not, no, no, no.
00:10:47.000 We're not waking up at six o'clock or whatever time tomorrow.
00:10:49.000 It's gonna be a six hour hike. That's ridiculous.
00:10:51.000 That's actually a bad idea.
00:10:54.000 I'm not doing it.
00:10:55.000 I'm not doing it.
00:10:56.000 Fuck.
00:10:57.000 So this...
00:11:02.000 So the judge said we're allowed to travel all of Romania, so we left Romania, and then DCOT is now saying that we have to come back today to sign in Bucharest, because if we don't, they're going to put us back in house arrest.
00:11:10.000 I don't know how DCOT can supersede a judge.
00:11:13.000 It doesn't even make sense. So our surveillance officer called us and said you have to come back right now.
00:11:17.000 So bro, the judge said we can travel all of Romania.
00:11:19.000 Oh, you have to come back now, you have to come back now.
00:11:21.000 Make it make sense. We literally drove six hours over here.
00:11:24.000 We've been here less than 24 hours.
00:11:25.000 Now we have to drive all the way there. Where's he?
00:11:29.000 It's abusive. DCOT are being abusive because they know they have no case and they're just trying to fuck with us any way that they can.
00:11:37.000 Roadmen! Roadmen, bro.
00:11:41.000 Oh well. Back to McCrest.
00:11:45.000 When you're on judicial control in Romania, you typically sign twice a week.
00:11:49.000 Maybe once a week.
00:11:51.000 We have to sign every single day.
00:11:53.000 Abusive measures. Unprecedented.
00:11:55.000 Never done before. But it was no big deal, because we were stuck in Bucharest anyway, right?
00:12:01.000 And then the judge said, you can travel all of Romania, but how do you travel all of Romania if you have to sign in Bucharest every single day?
00:12:06.000 Well, we did an agreement that we'll sign at a local police station.
00:12:10.000 No problem. We went away last week, signed at a local police station each day, like we were supposed to, on time, and had absolutely zero problems.
00:12:18.000 We just drove here. It took six and a half hours to get to this location.
00:12:21.000 This morning we went to sign at a local police station and D-Cott said no.
00:12:25.000 You must return to Bucharest to sign in Bucharest.
00:12:28.000 They're superseding the judge and the judge's decision that we can travel all over Mania, saying that we must sign there.
00:12:34.000 Now, are they doing this because they're concerned we're going to run away?
00:12:37.000 No. Are they doing this because they want to preserve law and order?
00:12:39.000 No. They're doing this to try and upset me.
00:12:41.000 And the reason they're doing it is because when we went away last week, we made a really cool video of us with the dog sleds in the Carpathian Mountains, and we had a great time.
00:12:50.000 And we put that last night on Rumble.
00:12:52.000 Last night, the prosecutor saw how much fun we have while we're away.
00:12:57.000 And this morning, he calls and demands that we come back to Bucharest, because even though the judge said we're allowed, because he's that much of a hate.
00:13:06.000 And he's trying to make me frown.
00:13:09.000 But I don't frown. I smile.
00:13:11.000 I may have driven six and a half hours to get here and wake up the next day and drive six and a half hours home, but I get to drive six and a half hours in this.
00:13:19.000 You understand? All the brokies who hate on me and the system can't afford one of these.
00:13:24.000 This is great. So I still win.
00:13:26.000 But I guess, you know, the system's abusive.
00:13:30.000 But it's not just Romania. All systems are.
00:13:32.000 So it's been a relatively short trip.
00:13:35.000 But I'm pretty excited to drive my car again.
00:13:37.000 So, all in all, smiles all around.
00:13:42.000 Fireblood makes your piss yellow.
00:13:44.000 Like a man. Manly yellow piss.
00:13:47.000 None of that clear water gay little girl piss.
00:13:50.000 Man's piss! And the reason for that is very simple.
00:13:53.000 We have all of the vitamins, minerals, and amino acids the body can need in one two unit scoop of Fireblood.
00:13:58.000 And like a man, we have made it excessive.
00:14:01.000 Are you the kind of person who's going to take a supplement which tastes disgusting with no flavoring whatsoever?
00:14:07.000 Or are you the kind of man who takes a supplement that tastes like cookie crumple and your pee's not even yellow because there's only a little bit of vitamins in it?
00:14:14.000 Oh, I've only got my daily recommended allocation of vitamins.
00:14:18.000 Well, I'm scared I might pee out too many vitamins.
00:14:21.000 Greta Thunberg will get mad at me for being wasteful.