Tate Speech


THE WONDERS OF FLYING ON CHRISTMAS | Tate Confidential Ep. 130


Summary

It's Christmas Eve, and we're all hungover from all the Christmas drinks and food consumed over the past 24 hours. This is the perfect time of the year to be drunk, because it's the last few days before New Year's Eve, so it's a perfect time to drink. And if you're not drunk, then you need to be, because this week has been one of the most wasted weeks of your life, and you're waiting for the new year to make any significant changes in your life. If you're an amateur, you're the same as everybody else. You need to get up and get it done today, because the New Year is now over. Whatever your resolutions are, they should have been fixed before Christmas. It's the second best time to be a professional, because you don't have a week to waste anyway. You don't need to wait until January 1st to get your work done, you can do it now. And you don t have to wait another week to be an amateur. You can have the best year you've ever had, if you do it today. Enjoy your meal, enjoy your Christmas, and have a Happy New Year! xoxo, Luke xo - The Duke of Chaddyshirts - and the Duke of Dorking - - Luke x And the Duke has a new song coming out on the 18th of December, so don't forget to check it out! Thank you so much for listening to this episode, it's really good. XOXO - Luke and Morpheus xo - XO - , xo, Luke & Morpheus - x - XO (The Duke of the Matrix - . The Duke is a great guy - (MORPHES) Morpheus's Morph's Morph s Morphs - I got me out of this episode. - I got a wake-up call from the Matrix Matrix, so I'm going to make it better next week, so you'll know it's going to be better than the rest of my life in the next few days, I hope you're going to listen to this in the new week, yeehaw? - Thank you, I'm not going to stop drinking any more of these next week - I'll see you soon, I'll be back next week! - Morpheus -


Transcript

00:00:03.000 What are these? Train tickets.
00:00:06.000 31 hours by train.
00:00:10.000 That means 31 hours of non-stop boozing with your cousin.
00:00:14.000 No!
00:00:15.000 They confident in that.
00:00:34.000 I'm going to get the camera.
00:00:35.000 I got the hot switches.
00:00:52.000 Thank you.
00:01:00.000 This is Genesis Fourth Street.
00:01:21.000 Finally!
00:01:40.000 Finally! Finally we start drinking.
00:01:42.000 Jesus Christ. I need a drink.
00:01:45.000 Pones have been four hours.
00:01:47.000 I mean me, ten minutes.
00:01:50.000 We need to stop drinking. Oh, I need to stop drinking.
00:01:54.000 I'm not going to take confidential why, but I have now become, next week and a half, the world's worst alcoholic.
00:02:01.000 Hello. Hi. Welcome on board.
00:02:03.000 Thank you. My name is Andrea. I see you all on Instagram.
00:02:06.000 It's Christmas. You're chilling with your family.
00:02:08.000 You're drinking. You're getting fat.
00:02:10.000 And you're waiting for the new year to make any significant changes in your life.
00:02:12.000 And let me tell you something. That is absolutely and utterly amateur.
00:02:15.000 That is what amateurs do.
00:02:16.000 And the reason I can say that's what amateurs do is because that's what everyone does, and everybody's a fucking amateur.
00:02:21.000 This week in between Christmas and New Year is perhaps the most wasted week of the year.
00:02:26.000 Nobody does anything significant.
00:02:28.000 You're sitting around, it's just been Christmas, and you just want to wait, etc., etc., etc.
00:02:32.000 If you start at the same time as everybody else, You don't have an advantage over everybody else.
00:02:36.000 You're going to run a race. You want to go first, don't you?
00:02:39.000 Right? So do you have to wait for the calendar to reset because you really need that little bit of extra motivation to not be a lazy piece of shit?
00:02:46.000 Do you need to see a number one on the calendar to get up and get your work done?
00:02:50.000 It's the day after Christmas.
00:02:51.000 The jet's fueled, jumping on the plane, and I'm going out into the streets to make money.
00:02:56.000 And I have a bunch of money.
00:02:57.000 And I'm up working.
00:02:58.000 So I don't know how you can stay at home with no money and think, oh, I don't need to go work right now.
00:03:03.000 I can wait for the new year. No, you fucking cannot wait.
00:03:05.000 You absolutely cannot wait for the new year.
00:03:07.000 Whatever your resolutions are, they should have been fixed before Christmas.
00:03:11.000 Before Christmas, the second best time is now.
00:03:13.000 It's not when the new year comes.
00:03:15.000 Don't be an amateur. Be a professional.
00:03:16.000 This is a message to everyone out there whose brain is capable of resonating with my genius.
00:03:21.000 If you wait for the new year, you're the same as everybody else.
00:03:24.000 You're an amateur. If you get up and you get it done today, the new year is now.
00:03:27.000 Christmas is over. It's all finished.
00:03:29.000 You don't need to drink on that night.
00:03:30.000 It's the worst night to party anyway.
00:03:32.000 Everyone's an amateur. Start today, fuck New Year off, and have the best year of your life.
00:03:38.000 Let me say one more thing. These last two years of the enslavement of humankind in which we've endured, I don't think this is ending.
00:03:45.000 I don't think this is ending anytime soon.
00:03:47.000 I think things are going to get harder and harder.
00:03:48.000 And you need money to protect yourself.
00:03:50.000 I'm insulated from clown world because there's a huge...
00:03:54.000 Pile of money in the way.
00:03:55.000 It's hard to get to me.
00:03:57.000 But you people, you don't have the insulation.
00:03:59.000 So you need more passports, you need more cash, you need a better network, you need to get your life together, and you certainly don't have a fucking week to waste.
00:04:20.000 Thank you very much.
00:04:22.000 Thank you.
00:04:23.000 Enjoy your meal. Thank you.
00:04:26.000 You know, Luke, three years ago, what were you doing for life?
00:04:32.000 In Chipotle. You were working in Chipotle.
00:04:35.000 Yep, correct. And your cousin messaged you on Facebook and said, I'm starting an outlier.
00:04:41.000 Do you want to come help me?
00:04:43.000 Correct. And I did.
00:04:46.000 And now we're eating pizza on private planes.
00:04:49.000 In the sky. Yeah.
00:04:52.000 So I'm basically Jesus.
00:04:53.000 I saved your life. Might be.
00:04:56.000 I'm actually basically Jesus.
00:04:58.000 You're Morpheus. You're certainly Morpheus.
00:05:00.000 I'm Morpheus and I got you out.
00:05:01.000 Yeah, you certainly got me out.
00:05:03.000 It was the wake up, Luke.
00:05:04.000 He's Morph Jesus. I got you out of the Matrix, didn't I? Yeah.
00:05:08.000 Morph Jesus. I am Morpheus.
00:05:10.000 I can fight as well. Do you think that you not being able to drink that glass of booze has anything to do with your liver in this place?
00:05:23.000 I don't know. Are we actually rich, guys?
00:05:27.000 Yes. Are we actually rich?
00:05:30.000 Yes. Yes.
00:05:32.000 I'm from a council state.
00:05:34.000 How did this happen? I have no clue.
00:05:38.000 I did work at StreamYard, and what we've created is brilliant.
00:05:46.000 So, we do completely deserve it, but...
00:05:51.000 At the same time we've just gone back, he's just a shitty joke, you know?
00:05:56.000 Keep boozing.
00:05:58.000 Drink a roof.
00:06:00.000 Booze. Poison.
00:06:09.000 Who's drank oldest booze?
00:06:11.000 Why himself? You did.
00:06:12.000 I don't know why. Because fuck you, that's why.
00:06:15.000 Because for one hour and 20 minutes, I'm sitting in a private fucking jet.
00:06:20.000 I see her fucking jerking off, am I? No, let's enjoy it.
00:06:23.000 A fucking beluga mulga.
00:06:24.000 But alcohol's not enjoyable.
00:06:26.000 Luke, I need to maximize this experience.
00:06:30.000 Pizza, chocolate, don't even like chocolate.
00:06:33.000 Akito, broken hand.
00:06:36.000 What's this? A little slink you've been working on.
00:06:39.000 That could work. You understand?
00:06:41.000 I have to do moves to pay credit to the severity of the situation.
00:06:48.000 Let's just sleep. Tristan, if you were blind, how would you signal to someone that you were helping?
00:07:02.000 Just tell them. That's what I do as well.
00:07:08.000 Why would you not tell them?
00:07:09.000 I understand. I wasn't gonna tell him.
00:07:18.000 What did Luke do? Luke, if you were blind and you had to tell someone you were hungry, what would you do?
00:07:29.000 That? That's what?
00:07:31.000 Do you know what I'd do if I was blind and I'd tell someone I was hungry?
00:07:34.000 What? I'd say, hey, I'm hungry.
00:07:38.000 Okay, you got me.
00:07:41.000 I got two for God.
00:07:46.000 Sweet, sweet.
00:07:49.000 Sweet red wine.
00:07:52.000 Alright, eat that fine.
00:07:54.000 Thank you very much.
00:07:55.000 Amazing.
00:08:08.000 Just like magic.
00:08:10.000 More boots please. More?
00:08:12.000 Yes, please. Stupid.
00:08:17.000 It's stupid. Fuck off before I attack you.
00:08:19.000 Pilots aren't going to stop me.
00:08:21.000 I don't wrestle them. You can't wrestle your pilots.
00:08:24.000 Can't I? I bet I can.
00:08:27.000 How will you land? How would I land?
00:08:30.000 Jump. You're a wrestler, you learn how to fall.
00:08:34.000 Thank you very much. I love wine.
00:08:36.000 It's my favorite. He hates wine.
00:08:37.000 He hates wine.
00:08:39.000 He's lying. He never orders wine, ever.
00:08:44.000 I would put the bottle here.
00:08:46.000 More booze, please. Ah, wunderbar.
00:08:51.000 Love wine. You speak German?
00:08:54.000 Uh, a little bit.
00:08:55.000 What language do you speak?
00:08:57.000 German, English, Spanish, Portuguese.
00:09:01.000 I speak Romanian, Polish, and Slovakian.
00:09:04.000 And where are you from? Transylvania.
00:09:06.000 I'm a vampire. I'm 700 years old.
00:09:08.000 Oh, that's why you like mine.
00:09:10.000 Exactly. Mine's in human blood.
00:09:11.000 Thank you. I'm not a vampire.
00:09:14.000 And I only speak English.
00:09:17.000 Thank you.
00:09:18.000 Do you want one? Huh?
00:09:19.000 Do you want one this one? No.
00:09:21.000 Yeah, he does. No, thank you.
00:09:22.000 Yes. Do you want to try one?
00:09:24.000 Sure. No, more of one.
00:09:25.000 Thank you. Yeah. I'm going to try it here, won't worry.
00:09:33.000 Thank you. Delicious. Thanks.
00:09:42.000 I love whiten. Bye, nice to see you.
00:09:43.000 So...
00:09:45.000 Thank you for coming to my fair show.
00:09:47.000 Thank you so much.
00:09:49.000 Thank you.
00:09:51.000 Why don't you have a jacket?
00:10:14.000 Because I have my turtleneck.
00:10:19.000 Turtleneck? Yeah. It's not that cold.
00:10:21.000 Bro. Can't be that cold. Czech Republic is cold.
00:10:23.000 Can't be. Can't be.
00:10:25.000 You check the temperature.
00:10:27.000 No. So you didn't check the weather.
00:10:29.000 Can't be that cold. No way.
00:10:32.000 So where are we going? Dinner.
00:10:36.000 Alright, what type of dinner?
00:10:38.000 Kind of like Caribbean.
00:10:40.000 It's like Cuban food.
00:10:41.000 Yeah, Cuban food. They have Cuban food here?
00:10:44.000 Why? Why would they have Cubans here?
00:10:46.000 It's a plant they grow in Cuba.
00:10:49.000 I think it's so strong.
00:10:53.000 No, I'm actually very hungry.
00:10:55.000 We're actually going for Cuban food.
00:10:57.000 No, I think I know what's going to happen.
00:11:02.000 Yeah, because I just said it myself.
00:11:06.000 And I know you guys are- it's not food, is it?
00:11:09.000 It's not edible, is it? Okay, does anyone chew on it and eat it?
00:11:22.000 Alright, well, it could be a soup, but I doubt it.
00:11:28.000 Sounds like it's a Cuban. Cuban cigar.
00:11:32.000 So I'm just gonna starve.
00:11:37.000 Yeah. No, I'm starting to think that that's exactly what's happening.
00:11:46.000 As you guys keep talking, I'm more and more convinced that that's what's gonna happen.
00:11:52.000 So, this is the worst club sandwich I've ever had in my life, and it's all they serve here.
00:11:56.000 What do you expect from a cigar bottle?
00:11:57.000 I told you they specialize in Cuban.
00:12:00.000 I'm starving, and then I end up eating the club sandwich.
00:12:02.000 Here's some tobacco. I doubt they have chewable tobacco.
00:12:08.000 Luke? You should eat that crap.
00:12:09.000 It's very unhealthy. You drink old fashioned with a slice of orange and vitamin C. It's not vitamin C. You're lying.
00:12:19.000 He's a liar. I know.
00:12:25.000 Wake up. So I've been super tricked.
00:12:30.000 You tricked yourself. I didn't trick myself.
00:12:32.000 You guys said we're going to go for nice cute.
00:12:33.000 You weren't there.
00:12:35.000 Why? I didn't invite you.
00:12:37.000 It's not our fault. Whose fault is that?
00:12:47.000 Who can we blame for your personality?
00:12:49.000 Him? Her?
00:12:51.000 You? Alright.
00:12:54.000 It's my fault. It's my fault that I've got a super shit club sandwich.
00:12:58.000 Yeah, I guess the chips are okay I don't really know what to talk about.
00:13:03.000 I don't really love you.
00:13:05.000 I'm sorry.
00:13:27.000 HAHA, go hard on me That's just how it is now
00:13:35.000 Moreе, then a weapon
00:14:27.000 I'm gonna get you some sleep.
00:15:52.000 It's right here, Austin University.
00:15:54.000 It's right here.
00:16:12.000 I'll be back.
00:17:16.000 All we do is booze.
00:17:17.000 And I super notice this because I'm the one who films everything.
00:17:21.000 I send everything to the editor.
00:17:23.000 Do I look like a boozer or do I look like a guy who's in Fantastic Four?
00:17:30.000 You look like a guy in Fantastic Four, but you also have the beer, so you kind of look like a boozer as well.
00:17:34.000 Because it's midday and some random day.
00:17:36.000 Do you understand that I look better than most people who live in the jail?
00:17:39.000 Yes. Do you know why?
00:17:41.000 Fear isn't booze. No, it's not from the booze.
00:17:43.000 No. All we do is booze.
00:17:44.000 We can go to Antarctica. We can do all this crazy stuff.
00:17:47.000 We can do loads of cool things. We can go to space.
00:17:49.000 No, but why booze?
00:17:50.000 We can go to space and stuff.
00:17:52.000 Like, things.
00:17:54.000 Things. We can do things.
00:17:56.000 We just keep boozing.
00:17:59.000 You're gonna see stars like a spaceman.
00:18:00.000 You're gonna shut up. I need to work to make more space for my booze.
00:18:08.000 This is shit. Decided.
00:18:13.000 What kind of store? What?
00:18:15.000 We're going to change everything about takeoff potential.
00:18:17.000 Okay. Okay. I have this idea.
00:18:20.000 Simple to implement, but I think it's going to make us go by, okay?
00:18:23.000 Because our channel, we spent, I guarantee there's not a YouTube channel online that spent more money than us and has less followers.
00:18:29.000 We get to London, he literally literally spends like 50 G's on fucking clothes.
00:18:33.000 50 G's yesterday, I'll take your clothing for the rest of the day.
00:18:36.000 Can I ask how much it is per glass?
00:18:39.000 That goes for 350 pounds.
00:18:42.000 350 pounds per glass?
00:18:44.000 Yes.
00:18:44.000 I'll take three glasses of that for the rest of the day.
00:18:47.000 You go with this?
00:18:48.000 Yes.
00:18:49.000 Please.
00:18:49.000 Thank you.
00:19:17.000 True. We spent 10 million dollars this year.
00:19:19.000 Yep. The money per follower is terrible.
00:19:21.000 Yes. So I have an idea and I think what we're going to do is we're here in Prague and we're going to start by increasing how much we spend.
00:19:28.000 No. My idea is actually going to work.
00:19:30.000 That would work. No, that wouldn't work.
00:19:32.000 My idea is camel riding through Prague.
00:19:34.000 Important camels. Wouldn't go viral.
00:19:36.000 Wait. That would probably go viral.
00:19:37.000 Think about it. Camel riding here.
00:19:40.000 I think Luke should kill himself.
00:19:42.000 That's a good idea. Okay, all right.
00:19:44.000 Well, take Covenantial Live?
00:19:46.000 Take Covenantial Live. Okay.
00:19:47.000 Okay. I'd definitely do it in the tower thing.
00:19:51.000 I think we'd go back. Quick trip to that store.
00:19:53.000 Cigarettes, alcohol, drinks at Prague Absinthe Center.
00:19:56.000 Have the time of your life. But that wouldn't be the time of my life.
00:19:59.000 So, Luke, if you care about the channel, you know you have to.
00:20:01.000 Because it would cost nothing. It would cost zero, it's true.
00:20:04.000 It's true. It costs zero dollars.
00:20:06.000 It really increased our... All right, let's go find a place.
00:20:08.000 All right. Funny joke though guys, so...
00:20:13.000 Wait, what do you mean?
00:20:16.000 What's up? I thought we were going for coffee.
00:20:22.000 The final coffee.
00:20:25.000 No, just a coffee. The last espresso.
00:20:27.000 Oh, the final coffee. No, just a one.
00:20:30.000 Like, you know, just like... What would you like to eat?
00:20:32.000 Anything you'd like to eat, you can have.
00:20:35.000 Anything. Anything in the world you'd like to eat for dinner.
00:20:37.000 Tristan, you're being too nice. This is scary.
00:20:40.000 You're worrisome now. No, it's normal.
00:20:41.000 It's your final meal. No, what do you mean final?
00:20:44.000 Why final? It's a joke, though.
00:20:46.000 We're joking. Ha ha.
00:20:48.000 Sure we are. Yesterday, he's a nerd. Yesterday, it was celebrating New Year's Eve with a good friend of ours.
00:21:11.000 And he left about ten minutes before we did, but without saying goodbye.
00:21:16.000 I said, why did you do that?
00:21:17.000 Oh, I needed a separate taxi, you could blah, blah, blah.
00:21:20.000 I said, yeah, but why did you just leave?
00:21:22.000 So I'm going to get him back, Luke.
00:21:24.000 We are just going to leave.
00:21:26.000 No, but we need to stop boozing.
00:21:28.000 Tristan, I'm dying. I don't know how you're boozing now.
00:21:30.000 What do you mean? Take Confidential.
00:21:31.000 You have no idea.
00:21:33.000 You have no clue. You cannot fathom.
00:21:37.000 No, genuinely. But, Tristan, take Confidential.
00:21:39.000 They don't understand how much booze is consumed.
00:21:42.000 Breakfast beer! So, anyway.
00:21:45.000 After I have my breakfast beer, Luke.
00:21:47.000 No, but what do you mean we're gonna leave?
00:21:48.000 Well, there are no flights. What do you mean flights?
00:21:52.000 You mean actually leave the city.
00:21:53.000 Listen, Andrew talked to me yesterday.
00:21:55.000 He wants to be Mr. Independent. I'm leaving him here.
00:21:57.000 I'm only here for him.
00:21:59.000 He wanted to be here. So let's leave.
00:22:02.000 Flights are booked. Luckily I have these.
00:22:07.000 What are these? Train tickets.
00:22:10.000 31 hours by train.
00:22:15.000 That means 31 hours of non-stop boozing with your cousin.
00:22:19.000 The ultimate adventure for you, Luke.
00:22:23.000 Sold. You in?
00:22:25.000 What does it say on the top right-hand corner of the ticket?
00:22:28.000 What does it say? It says my name.
00:22:31.000 It says Luke. Let's go!
00:22:35.000 I can't do it.
00:22:37.000 I'll show you training. We're getting the fucking training out of here.
00:22:42.000 I can't be convinced.
00:22:44.000 Luke, you feel bad and we're going to be drinking on the train.
00:22:50.000 So I'm going to go to the shop. Our Uber's here in 7 minutes.
00:22:52.000 There's a shop around the corner. What do you want?
00:22:54.000 What will make you feel better? Coconut water.
00:22:56.000 Coconut water? Yeah.
00:22:58.000 I don't know. Coconut water.
00:23:00.000 Coconut water. Anything else? I don't know.
00:23:05.000 I don't know. Coconut water will make you feel better.
00:23:06.000 Water. Water and coconut.
00:23:08.000 Yeah. Uber's here, almost missed it, but I got your drink.
00:23:15.000 What do you mean, my drink? Listen, the way you said it, I have a strong feeling.
00:23:24.000 So, I got everything on your list.
00:23:28.000 Coconut water, yeah?
00:23:32.000 No, so, snow globe. I forgot exactly what you wanted, but I got lots of things.
00:23:39.000 Ceremonial dagger. I believe that was on your list, wasn't it?
00:23:43.000 No, no. This is the toy monkey you asked for.
00:23:46.000 And I know you're thirsty, so put your bottle of Absinthe.
00:23:51.000 Absinthe, and the toy monkey will crunch your thirst.
00:23:54.000 Backup beer. But not just the beer.
00:23:57.000 I also, because, I mean, how are you going to open the beer without a ceremonial pipe-smoking beer opening widget?
00:24:05.000 That's exactly what you asked for, isn't it?
00:24:07.000 I asked for water. Beer, absinthe, toy monkey, the ceremonial dagger, the bottle opener, the snow globe.
00:24:13.000 That was everything on your list.
00:24:14.000 No, I wanted water. Take off it, reviewers.
00:24:16.000 Pack me up. It's a matter of record.
00:24:18.000 It's on film, you asking me for all of those items.
00:24:21.000 I wanted water. I gave you exactly what you wanted.
00:24:23.000 I didn't want a snow globe, a toy monkey, ceremonial dagger.
00:24:27.000 Good luck carrying them. 31 hour train journey.
00:24:29.000 They're all yours now. I'm not carrying them.
00:24:32.000 I don't want that. Sorry, sorry, I went to the shop and bought you things.
00:24:37.000 That's cool, that's cool. We're multi-millionaires, so they look like homeless gypsy people.
00:24:41.000 Yes, prepared for the train journey.
00:24:43.000 Tristan, why am I, I'm just ready to money people.
00:24:45.000 When I get happy on the train, it's like this, it's like pow, two beers.
00:24:49.000 You know what fucks with me, it's like ceremonial dagger.
00:24:54.000 I'm ready all the time.
00:24:56.000 Seriously, we can't just berate of money.
00:24:59.000 We just can't fucking...
00:25:00.000 I can't. From the stupid convenience stores that they sell.
00:25:04.000 Exactly. Frog's weird because they sell this stuff.
00:25:07.000 Ceremonial daggers. Why?
00:25:09.000 Because that's the way things are.
00:25:12.000 It's a cold world out there.
00:25:13.000 And then on New Year's Day, multi-millionaires might be taking a train and they might need a fucking knuckle spike to spike your enemies, you know?
00:25:22.000 Knuckle spike. They're coming at me.
00:25:24.000 Bang. Doesn't stop them.
00:25:25.000 Ceremonial dagger in this hand.
00:25:27.000 Unsheathed. That's the way it is, Luke.
00:25:31.000 There's a whole world out there.
00:25:34.000 We're crazy people.
00:25:35.000 This is not how multi-millionaires...
00:25:37.000 We could literally have a limousine take us to a jet.
00:25:39.000 Why are we doing this?
00:25:41.000 How was my mind? You know what, Luke?
00:25:42.000 I'm beginning to sober up, and I realize I'm still too heavy.
00:25:46.000 But knuckle spikes are good for lots of things.
00:25:48.000 You can also widget open your beers with a fucking...
00:25:53.000 Ah!
00:25:54.000 Ah!
00:25:55.000 I'm so grump I might not get on the train.
00:25:59.000 I might call a private jet. Why are we doing this?
00:26:04.000 We're insane. We're insane people.
00:26:07.000 We're just leaving. Happy New Year!
00:26:08.000 We're literally leaving because Andrew just left before us.
00:26:12.000 10 minutes. Fuck him! That's what he gets!
00:26:13.000 Why am I getting convinced?
00:26:15.000 It's a cerebral dagger. Although, I really couldn't let you go on the train alone.
00:26:21.000 Exactly. I really couldn't.
00:26:22.000 Andy's going to wake up and try to find us, but he won't be aware of our...
00:26:25.000 Presence.
00:26:29.000 Luke, imagine having that little self-awareness.
00:26:32.000 You're on a train by yourself.
00:26:36.000 Giant dudes are sitting nearby.
00:26:39.000 And you're so asleep, you can't wake up.
00:26:42.000 And you're snoring super loud.
00:26:43.000 I tapped this dude on the arm.
00:26:45.000 I tapped him and said, bro, he is out.
00:26:49.000 I could murder him, take all this shit.
00:26:51.000 That's how easy it would be.
00:26:53.000 I'm fucking huge.
00:26:54.000 I could kill this guy.
00:26:55.000 He's out of his fucking mind. Who does that, Luke?
00:26:58.000 Who goes to sleep like that on a fucking train?
00:27:01.000 Someone should murder him. I'm not gonna do it, but somebody should.
00:27:04.000 Bye, Andrew. Leave early, will ya?
00:27:07.000 Oh, there's no flights. Is there?
00:27:11.000 Good ol' fucking train.
00:27:12.000 Worked for the Victorians. Railway.
00:27:14.000 31 action-packed hours.
00:27:16.000 On the way to Bucharest.
00:27:19.000 We got him, didn't we?
00:27:21.000 Fucking got him. Nice cold beer?
00:27:24.000 We fucking got him.
00:27:27.000 Is he messaging me?
00:27:28.000 He's calling me. Nah, I just ignore him.
00:27:33.000 Swiss Army knife.
00:27:34.000 Little cutting knifey. For pure opening.
00:27:37.000 Oh shit, that's the wrong thing.
00:27:39.000 Fuck. Ceremonial dagger.
00:27:41.000 To keep me feel not boozy.
00:27:45.000 Tristan, this gift really did make me feel better.
00:27:47.000 Thank you. No, I don't want beers.
00:27:52.000 But my ceremonial dagger does.
00:27:53.000 Well, I only have one beer. You think I'm fucking offering it to you?
00:27:56.000 Good, I don't want it.
00:27:57.000 Oh, you don't want beer.
00:27:59.000 I have one beer. Wait, you think I give it to you?
00:28:01.000 After the shit you pull?
00:28:03.000 I went and said to Luke, earlier Luke said, do you want juice?
00:28:06.000 I said, yes. He said, give me some money.
00:28:07.000 I gave you money. Went to the juice store, came back with one bucket.
00:28:11.000 Listen, this is a psyop.
00:28:12.000 This was a psyop. It's a psyop.
00:28:17.000 You're a piece of shit.
00:28:19.000 Now I'm a juice to drink a fucking beer.
00:28:21.000 He said no. I distinctly remember asking.
00:28:24.000 Why would I say no to juice?
00:28:25.000 I thought it was weird.
00:28:27.000 No, I agree.
00:28:30.000 You are a liar. You're lying to yourself.
00:28:33.000 Would a man with a ceremonial dagger lie to himself?
00:28:36.000 I have a ceremonial dagger, mate.
00:28:47.000 No, but it's for ceremony.
00:28:50.000 Yeah, yeah, but mine's for ceremony.
00:28:56.000 Yeah, I'm very happy with my ceremonial dagger.
00:29:02.000 Don't stab it. There's computers in there.
00:29:06.000 Scare to be stabbing through your trench of computers.
00:29:08.000 Admit you're scared of my ceremonial knife.
00:29:10.000 And you're jealous. It's true because this one is completely blunt.
00:29:18.000 It's ceremonial. You can see.
00:29:20.000 It is ceremonial.
00:29:21.000 You can do a ceremony while I cut the enemy off.
00:29:24.000 It's true. They wouldn't see that coming.
00:29:25.000 And they would be scared of this.
00:29:27.000 To see when you just see it.
00:29:28.000 Yeah, you'd be like, ah! Yeah.
00:29:31.000 But they don't realize it's just for ceremony.
00:29:33.000 It's literally the worst shit in the world.
00:29:36.000 But I'm very happy with it.
00:29:39.000 He's gotten rid of my hangover.
00:29:41.000 This is a trick, actually.
00:29:42.000 I think everyone in take-home does should know that this gets rid of booze.
00:29:46.000 Removes it from your system.
00:29:47.000 You just need to perform the ceremony.
00:29:49.000 You need the snow globe and the toy monkey.
00:29:51.000 Let me tell you something. I paid 112 euros for a four hour train journey.
00:29:55.000 I'm sitting in the first class.
00:29:57.000 And there's some fucking sleepy, passed out, goofy cunt about two seats in front who will not stop fucking snoring.
00:30:06.000 Came on the train by himself.
00:30:08.000 Passed out snoring. I feel like robbing him.
00:30:12.000 I'm going to bed. Literally. Look, can you go show that guy?
00:30:13.000 I'm going to bed. Show the guys the guy.
00:30:16.000 Show him this guy. He's super out of it.
00:30:34.000 What level of goofy ass, no social awareness, dickhead cunt do you have to be to do that?
00:30:40.000 If he keeps snoring, I swear to God with his hands.
00:30:43.000 And we're gonna record it. I'm gonna tap him.
00:30:44.000 Yo, you're snoring. Yeah.
00:30:53.000 I'm losing my mind.
00:30:55.000 I know. I might cut my own face off.
00:30:57.000 No. With a knife. No, don't do that.
00:30:59.000 Why not? Because there's no need.
00:31:01.000 Why? Because there's no need to cut your own face off.