Tate Speech - THE WORLDS WORST UBER DRIVER | Tate Confidential Ep. 32

In this episode, we talk about parking issues in Romania and the weirdest things people do with their cars. We also talk about the best meal ever and the worst thing anyone has ever ordered from a restaurant. We finish the episode with a little bit of food and then we go on to other things. We hope you enjoy the episode, and if you like it, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and we'll read it out on the next episode! Thank you so much for listening, we really appreciate it. XOXO, Luke xoxo. This episode was brought to you by Anchor.fm and produced by Vevolution. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and tell a friend about this podcast and/or share it on your socials! Have a question, suggestion or topic request? hl=en We'd love to hear from you! Timestamps: 0:00 - What do you like about this episode? 5:20 - What's your favourite meal? 6:30 - What is your favorite meal you've ever eaten? 7:15 - What food you ve ever ordered? 8:00- The best meal you ve been eating? 9:30- What s your favourite thing you ve cooked? 10:15- What would you like to do with your money? 11:40 - How do you would like to see someone else eat? 12: What are you eating right now? 15: Do you have a car? 16:40- Do you like the best piece of meat? 17:00 18: Is it a steak? 19:20- Why do you think it runs in your bloodline? 21:10 - Do you want to eat it? 22:40 Do you think you're getting taller? 25:10 26:40 27:20 28:30 29:30 Do you love money more than you're a girl? 30:30 Can you eat it more than that? 32:00 Do you need to eat more? 35:00 Can you have more than one piece of beef? 31: What's a steak that you're eating it fast enough? 36:30 Is it better than you can eat it faster? 37:40 Can you be more than two pieces?

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!

00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.

00:00:20.000 But I'm not a girl.

00:00:22.000 I'm a girl.

00:00:34.000 Thanks for watching!

00:00:39.000 Yo, Luke. Yeah?

00:00:42.000 See, there's people in Romania actually think I'm like a bad person or a scary person.

00:00:48.000 One of my neighbors messaged me about the parking situation on the street, and she said, and I quote, I always tell my children to stay away from their cars, although they really like them.

00:00:59.000 I'd hate for them to scratch one and me have to sell a kidney.

00:01:03.000 Ha ha. So...

00:01:06.000 I told her that tomorrow she can bring her son around and we'll unlock all the cars and then we can take loads of photos in them.

00:01:12.000 Yeah. And like, you can show them to the girls in his school and stuff, you know, like five years old.

00:01:17.000 Yeah. And she's super surprised, like, wow, you're so nice.

00:01:20.000 Like, what does it cost me to unlock my cars and let some kids...

00:01:23.000 Zero. Zero. What, ten minutes?

00:01:25.000 People think I'm an asshole. 1.00

00:01:27.000 I know. I swear. I swear I'm much nicer than people realize. 1.00

00:01:31.000 So tomorrow, my neighbor is bringing her son over and taking photos in my cars.

00:01:36.000 That's the kind of guy I am.

00:01:38.000 Bro, you're much nicer. You just can't post, you can't post the shit. 1.00

00:01:42.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

00:01:43.000 Baby scratches them. 1.00

00:01:45.000 Shit. 1.00

00:01:46.000 Two keys. 1.00

00:01:47.000 Two keys!

00:01:48.000 Luke, I need a favor.

00:01:49.000 Yeah?

00:01:50.000 Right.

00:01:51.000 A friend of mine, a colleague of mine has left his car in Bucharest and he doesn't know what to do with it.

00:01:53.000 He's been driving for a while.

00:02:03.000 He's going to be gone for months and months, but his vehicle is still here.

00:02:07.000 So I've decided to become an Uber driver.

00:02:10.000 I'm going to use his car, and I'm going to drive Uber in the city.

00:02:15.000 So in 10 minutes, when the car arrives, you've got to go and get my new Uber from outside.

00:02:20.000 The tow truck is bringing it, and you're going to show them where to park it.

00:02:24.000 Because I'm busy. And that's when you buy Uber.

00:02:27.000 When I'm being a Uber driver. Alright.

00:02:29.000 What cars? You'll see.

00:02:32.000 Perfect car for Uber. For these streets.

00:02:35.000 The perfect car. It's on display.

00:02:41.000 What do you think it is? Like a Toyota Prius?

00:02:43.000 Probably. It's an Uber car, isn't it?

00:02:44.000 Uber car, bro. Here it comes.

00:03:02.000 Here's the Uber car.

00:03:03.000 Still can't see it.

00:03:05.000 What is it, Dacia? Prius.

00:03:08.000 Prius, yeah. Actually, Dacia is a good guess.

00:03:11.000 They'll have a Dacia in Romania.

00:03:13.000 Dacia Logan. This is the Uber car.

00:03:16.000 What's that? That's not a fucking Uber car, bruv. 0.99

00:03:21.000 Bro, that's not an Uber car. 1.00

00:03:22.000 That's a fucking Uber car. 1.00

00:03:26.000 That's a fucking Uber car. 1.00

00:03:30.000 He's not Ubering in this. 0.99

00:03:34.000 They might have just bought another car, but there's no way this is an Uber car.

00:03:39.000 This is fake news. Bro, how's the Rolls Royce in Uber car?

00:03:46.000 Imagine your Uber picking you up in the Rolls Royce.

00:03:48.000 You'd be so happy though, innit? Would you?

00:03:51.000 Yes, you would. And you thought you were the steak chef?

00:04:13.000 I thought I was the steak chef. You think it runs in our blood?

00:04:15.000 We shall see. I think I can eat this.

00:04:18.000 I don't think you can eat it. If I eat it fast enough, I'll leave my son for another day.

00:04:21.000 You still owe me money. Where's the money?

00:04:23.000 Where's the money? Give me the money.

00:04:25.000 I'm starting to drive. Anyway, I'm starting.

00:04:27.000 I'm going to have to drive Uber.

00:04:28.000 You see that Uber?

00:04:30.000 We need to see your Uber phone.

00:04:32.000 Need it. It's done.

00:04:38.000 Basically. I'm now just trying to get the back chunks off.

00:04:43.000 The back chunks.

00:04:46.000 See, you admit that this is Tomar.

00:04:51.000 Kind of. Basically.

00:04:54.000 You beat it on points, though.

00:04:55.000 It wasn't a KO victory. Wait, I'm still going.

00:04:58.000 Well, I've been finished eating for about six and a half hours.

00:05:02.000 And you're still sitting there.

00:05:04.000 So, yeah. Not bad.

00:05:09.000 Okay, maybe you'll uh, find me grow taller.

00:05:13.000 Keep eating.

00:05:16.000 I am.

00:05:18.000 Am I still getting done yet?

00:05:20.000 It's an English car.

00:05:24.000 And it's right wheel drive.

00:05:28.000 Because it's here.

00:05:32.000 No, the legal owner isn't in the country anymore.

00:05:35.000 I've been left with the car. I'm insured to drive it.

00:05:38.000 But it's an English registered car.

00:05:41.000 Why I want to use it in Romania.

00:05:45.000 What do you mean, safety rating?

00:05:47.000 You know, the best car I've ever fucking got when I ordered an Uber was like a Dacia Duster. 0.82

00:05:53.000 You do realize that? That in this country, everyone laughs at your company. 0.97

00:05:56.000 Everyone laughs at the service because all the cars are shit. 1.00

00:06:00.000 When I'm in England, I can order Uber Black. 1.00

00:06:02.000 I can get the Porsches.

00:06:03.000 I can get the Mercedes. I'm trying to do you a favor.

00:06:07.000 I'm trying to offer your game.

00:06:08.000 I've got a Rolls Royce Phantom, and I want to be an Uber driver.

00:06:11.000 And you're asking me all sorts of difficult questions like I'm some sort of weirdo.

00:06:15.000 Do you know what it would be like if you were in Bucharest and your Uber pulled up and it was a Phantom? 0.99

00:06:20.000 That'd make your fucking day! 1.00

00:06:22.000 Here it's just fucking Nissans and Dachias and pieces of shit, and you won't let me because my car's registered in England. 1.00

00:06:31.000 Who would have a Rolls Royce Phantom uninsured? 0.99

00:06:35.000 Have you ever driven in Bucharest?

00:06:37.000 If someone hits me, that's $100,000 worth of damage. 1.00

00:06:39.000 People here drive like idiots. 1.00

00:06:41.000 Of course I'm insured. 1.00

00:06:44.000 You know what? What car do you drive?

00:06:49.000 Where do you live?

00:06:52.000 Estonia? Why is Uber in Estonia?

00:06:55.000 Why am I talking to you?

00:06:57.000 You're in Estonia. Can you give me a Romanian?

00:06:59.000 A Romanian will at least say, ah, yes, you're trying to drive a Rolls-Royce Phantom as an Uber in Bucharest.

00:07:03.000 Thank you, sir. That's why you're so fucking rude. 0.99

00:07:07.000 Well, you know what? Fuck Uber. 1.00

00:07:09.000 Fuck Uber, Romania. I'm going to sign up to one of those other companies, or I'm going to become a private chauffeur. 1.00

00:07:13.000 And you can stick with your Dacia Logans and your fucking Dacia Duster and leave Uber in this country to be total shit. 1.00

00:07:19.000 I tried to improve it, and you're fucking useless. 1.00

00:07:23.000 Fuck Uber. I can't become an Uber driver. 1.00

00:07:25.000 Fuck him. Right wheel drive. 1.00

00:07:27.000 The insurance is in my name.

00:07:29.000 Unsafe. You tried.

00:07:30.000 I tried, man. So, Luke.

00:07:36.000 Yes? Andrew thinks he's going to have more fun in Paris than we have in Switzerland.

00:07:41.000 He won't. Because we will be in Paris.

00:07:44.000 And he doesn't even know it. 1.00

00:07:45.000 Shit. And when he tries to tell us how much fun he had in Paris, we're going to show him that we have also been in Paris. 1.00

00:07:52.000 And I'm more than him. And done more than him.

00:07:54.000 He doesn't know. It's a competition.

00:07:56.000 Of who could have more fun.

00:07:58.000 in Paris.

00:07:59.000 And we're gonna win.

00:08:00.000 10 minutes later Right, so we're in London, England.

00:08:08.000 Failed society. We have to get to Stuttgart, Germany to see Tristan.

00:08:12.000 He's leaving from Bucharest, Romania.

00:08:13.000 We're leaving from London.

00:08:15.000 And he messaged me yesterday saying he's going to have more fun than us on the journey.

00:08:18.000 I don't know what that means. M5 covered in bird sheep.

00:08:25.000 Right, so I don't know what Tristan's fun plan is.

00:08:27.000 Our plan is we're leaving London.

00:08:29.000 We're going to the Eurotunnel. We're gonna stop in Paris.

00:08:31.000 We've got something to do there.

00:08:33.000 We'll spend one night in Paris. We're gonna leave from Paris directly to Stuttgart, Germany.

00:08:36.000 We're gonna meet Tristan, get the Porsche, which has been upgraded.

00:08:39.000 The 992 had some work done on it.

00:08:42.000 And then we're going to take the M5 competition, the new one I just bought.

00:08:45.000 A brand new Porsche. We're going to race straight to Romania.

00:08:47.000 I'm probably going to stop in Cluj, which is a city on the outside of Romania, the second biggest town.

00:08:51.000 And then on to Bucharest. Our trip is not going to be that fun.

00:08:56.000 Tristan just scared me with his phone call.

00:08:58.000 Our trip's going to be so fun. 0.99

00:08:59.000 If I checked the fucking bank and he's just spent shit loads of money, that's all he would have done. 0.99

00:09:03.000 He's just going to spunk money on champagne. 1.00

00:09:04.000 I guarantee it. One way or return, Johnny?

00:09:08.000 One way please. Any picks?

00:09:09.000 Zero. LBG gas?

00:09:11.000 Nope.

00:09:11.000 I don't recognise that one.

00:09:12.000 Er...

00:09:13.000 I wish you took LBG.

00:09:15.000 Yeah.

00:09:16.000 Right, the holiday price is £175.

00:09:22.000 Jesus!

00:09:24.000 It's getting expensive, bro.

00:09:25.000 What happened? I know.

00:09:26.000 It's crazy, isn't it? Alright, whatever.

00:09:28.000 It's fine. Yeah. It's what it is.

00:09:29.000 I'm afraid so, yeah. There's not much alternative choice, is there?

00:09:32.000 There's no other way besides the ferry.

00:09:33.000 I can swim. Yeah, exactly.

00:09:35.000 Yeah, is that true? I'm a good swimmer.

00:09:37.000 And it leaves at, it leaves in 30 minutes.

00:09:39.000 It leaves at 20 past. Perfect.

00:09:42.000 So if you, uh, check the amount.

00:09:48.000 Oh! I'm on the Eurotunnel.

00:09:55.000 If you don't know what that is, the Americans won't know.

00:09:58.000 That's how you get from England to continental Europe with a car.

00:10:00.000 You take your car, you put on a train, the train goes under the ocean.

00:10:03.000 It's pretty cool. And as I've left London just now, there was a news report that they've locked down Canary Wharf because of this virus.

00:10:10.000 The coronavirus. The coronavirus is making me shitloads of money.

00:10:15.000 And it's making me money because it's having a huge effect on economies and countries.

00:10:19.000 I was supposed to go to Turkmenistan, Ashkabat.

00:10:21.000 I was supposed to go next week. I got an email saying Turkmenistan has banned all foreigners to the 28th of March.

00:10:27.000 Now I know most countries can't do that, but Turkmenistan can do that.

00:10:30.000 They can say no foreign people at all because they're like a hermit nation.

00:10:33.000 That's how much this virus is affecting things.

00:10:35.000 Now it's in London, it's in Italy, it's in France, it's everywhere.

00:10:38.000 It's affecting global markets, which means it's affecting currency markets, which means if you're involved in Forex, there's huge fluctuations.

00:10:44.000 Anyone who trades understands that the worst thing that could happen to a trader is if things stay stable.

00:10:49.000 Things are stable. No up, no down.

00:10:51.000 You can't make money. But if things are going up or down, doesn't matter which way they move, as long as there's fluctuation and volatility, you're going to make some cash.

00:10:58.000 This virus has come along at the exact perfect time for me.

00:11:02.000 Just as I started my Forex program, anyone who's inside is making a lot of money.

00:11:05.000 If you want to make a lot of money, we'll show you our trading history.

00:11:08.000 And you can try the program first.

00:11:10.000 Trial it for 10 days. 0.96

00:11:11.000 So next time you see some virus shit on the news and everyone's dying at least you can be making some fucking money Plan for today's First, I'm going to order loads of Chinese food, because I'm traveling soon, and the more Chinese Hugao I order, the more immune I am to the Wuhan coronavirus. 0.95

00:11:34.000 larger too It is my assistant Georgiana's birthday in two days when I'm gone So I'm gonna buy loads of flowers and cake and make her feel special today Because she's like family to me I 0.99

00:11:50.000 Could get some wine

00:12:14.000 She does like wine. But also, too nice to her as it is.

00:12:23.000 Nice. Hello.

00:12:25.000 I want the biggest bunch of flowers in the universe.

00:12:30.000 This is the most special.

00:12:52.000 That's the most special.

00:12:53.000 That's the most special. These are too much, like, decorations in the house.

00:12:58.000 I want, like, a big bunch of flowers.

00:13:01.000 Yes, I know. We don't have fat flowers yet.

00:13:04.000 Just these, yeah? Yeah.

00:13:07.000 Okay, give me this. Wonderful.

00:13:12.000 Thank you. Don't read my message.

00:13:21.000 it's terrible all right nice nice I think you'll like it I think she'll like it too I don't know who she is. I don't know how I'm a nice guy.

00:13:49.000 What? That's weird.

00:13:51.000 Thank you.

00:13:53.000 I'm sorry.

00:13:55.000 I'm sorry.

00:13:57.000 you you Is she not going to answer?

00:14:03.000 A personal assistant doesn't answer when you call. 1.00

00:14:06.000 This is a shit personal assistant. 1.00

00:14:07.000 Yeah. Maybe we should just eat the cake. 1.00

00:14:11.000 Eat the cake. Let Apollo destroy the flowers.

00:14:14.000 And drink the champagne. And drink the champagne.

00:14:16.000 That would be a wonderful day.

00:14:18.000 You know what? If she doesn't reply to me quickly, that's exactly what's going to happen. 1.00

00:14:20.000 I'm going to eat her cake. She's not going to know.

00:14:23.000 Yo. What? Hey, dumbass.

00:14:25.000 Hey. Where are you? 1.00

00:14:26.000 What do you want? Um, not going to make.

00:14:29.000 Uh, which one? Jollyville.

00:14:33.000 Jollyville? Yeah.

00:14:35.000 All right. Anyway, super urgent.

00:14:37.000 Meet me at my house. Super important.

00:14:40.000 Okay. All right.

00:14:41.000 I'll see you then. Bye. Bye.

00:14:45.000 So we literally missed her by one second.

00:14:48.000 Yep. Her flowers and cake. Yep. 0.58

00:14:49.000 She's in the same place as us.

00:14:51.000 She is. Oh, well.

00:14:54.000 So we're not drinking champagne and eating her cake.

00:14:56.000 No. That said, she's not going to eat all the cake. 0.99

00:14:58.000 She won't eat all the cake. But cake does make you weak. 0.94

00:15:01.000 I don't even like cake. I don't either.

00:15:03.000 Good point. Fuck the cake. I'm mad at you. 1.00

00:15:08.000 What? Why didn't you tell me?

00:15:10.000 What? Come here. What did you do?

00:15:13.000 Come here. Why didn't you tell me?

00:15:16.000 Georgiana, why didn't you tell me?

00:15:18.000 That it was your birthday!

00:15:21.000 Coming up, I'm gonna be gone, but I bought you flowers and expressed my deepest sentiments towards you.

00:15:29.000 Thank you, that's nice.

00:15:30.000 Give me a birthday hug. And fuck you. 1.00

00:15:33.000 Georgia and I, if you want to fight, I can still give you a birthday hand. 1.00

00:15:35.000 Yeah, fuck you! Birthday hug. 1.00

00:15:38.000 Birthday hug. Tristan style. 0.71

00:15:39.000 But there's a capes back, though, and there's a champagne drunkie, and here's some flowers... 1.00

00:15:43.000 Oh my!...letting you know how stupid you are. 1.00

00:15:47.000 But... For the record, her birthday's in two days, but I'm not gonna be here. 1.00

00:15:51.000 Yeah. I hate flowers.

00:15:53.000 Yeah, we thought you wouldn't like it.

00:15:56.000 And chocolate. Fuck flowers. 1.00

00:15:59.000 That's what this is. For you! 1.00

00:16:01.000 Look. If you want birthday hands, I can give you birthday hands.

00:16:03.000 You want birthday hands?

00:16:05.000 No.

00:16:07.000 So to confirm, when me and Andrew sit down and have our competition of who had the most fun journey, the only thing he's gonna have over us is Paris.

00:16:24.000 He's going to show us all the stuff he did in Paris with Rory.

00:16:27.000 That's why secretly, instead of flying straight to Zurich, we're flying to Paris first for five hours to have more fun than Andrew.

00:16:35.000 In that time. So when he says Paris, I'll show him that we had no fun in Paris than him.

00:16:40.000 And he won't even know we've been there. 1.00

00:16:42.000 Fuck it. Yep. What is this shit? 1.00

00:16:44.000 This is better than Burger King. 1.00

00:16:46.000 Where is my Burger King? Burger King's whack.

00:16:48.000 It's closed. You're a liar. It's closed. 1.00

00:16:49.000 This place is open for a reason.

00:16:51.000 It's your fault. No.

00:16:52.000 This is Romanian food in Romania.

00:16:55.000 It's better than Burger King.

Tate Speech - July 21, 2022

THE WORLDS WORST UBER DRIVER | Tate Confidential Ep. 32

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