Tate Speech - March 10, 2025


Welcome to Miami | Tate Confidential Ep 275


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

155.88

Word Count

1,299

Sentence Count

179

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary

Tristan and Luke are back in Florida, and they have a lot to talk about. First, they talk about a new invention that's been around for a long time, and then they get into a new conspiracy theory.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Father, Son, Royal Rumble, Cold Day.
00:00:02.000 That'd be ridiculous.
00:00:02.000 Any time, any place.
00:00:03.000 Just go back and you're already lying.
00:00:05.000 Watch him not being able to do that.
00:00:07.000 As if it wasn't already fun.
00:00:09.000 I will get that pastor by his neck.
00:00:10.000 I will show him a man!
00:00:12.000 For some reason people seem to think I'm the bad guy.
00:00:32.000 I don't know why or if they get this impression.
00:00:34.000 There's negative press surrounding me.
00:00:35.000 First time this has ever happened.
00:00:36.000 Interesting.
00:00:37.000 Seems like we have a lot to talk about.
00:01:01.000 I'm excited.
00:01:02.000 Ready?
00:01:02.000 I'm ready.
00:01:03.000 Let's roll.
00:01:04.000 Let's do it.
00:01:09.000 It's been six years since this man's been in America.
00:01:15.000 Are you sure they know who I am?
00:01:16.000 I don't think anyone's heard of me.
00:01:19.000 Anytime, anyplace, father, son, Royal Rumble, Cole Dana.
00:01:23.000 Anytime, anyplace, I will get that pastor by his neck.
00:01:27.000 I will show him a man.
00:01:28.000 He's taking money from OnlyFans.
00:01:30.000 Ben does OnlyFence videos?
00:01:32.000 Ben?
00:01:33.000 I'm sure for enough money he would.
00:01:36.000 I did not know that.
00:01:39.000 Alright, my right's so bad.
00:01:42.000 I'm gonna conquer it.
00:01:45.000 Boom!
00:01:46.000 Luke, did you do this?
00:01:48.000 Was this you?
00:01:49.000 No.
00:01:50.000 But you remember.
00:01:51.000 I do not.
00:01:52.000 Cut back.
00:01:53.000 To the hack that Luke and I discovered last time we were in Florida.
00:01:57.000 It's midday.
00:01:58.000 Yeah.
00:01:58.000 What's Luke's usual bedtime?
00:02:00.000 5 p.m.?
00:02:01.000 5 p.m., correct.
00:02:02.000 5 p.m., because he's a little sleepyhead.
00:02:04.000 Well, these is an amazing American potion that I've discovered.
00:02:09.000 I've had four already.
00:02:10.000 What do you mean?
00:02:11.000 So if I drink my fifth one, then I'll be up for 25 hours.
00:02:15.000 It's science, Luke.
00:02:16.000 America is leading the world in scientific innovations.
00:02:19.000 If there's only 24 hours a day...
00:02:21.000 And you drink five of these per day, not only do you never need to sleep again, but you have one hour extra of rest on top of your 24 additional hours of the day, and therefore, you're much more efficient.
00:02:35.000 It doesn't make sense.
00:02:36.000 It's bullshit.
00:02:37.000 Watch Tristy drink five of them.
00:02:40.000 You still need to sleep.
00:02:42.000 Watch him not be able to do that.
00:02:43.000 So you're lying to the audience.
00:02:44.000 You just got back, and you're already lying to the audience.
00:02:46.000 Watch him not being able to do that.
00:02:48.000 For how long?
00:02:49.000 What?
00:02:49.000 Bailey, get the camera on him.
00:02:51.000 Set up the show.
00:02:53.000 Give five of these a day.
00:02:55.000 Let's go.
00:02:56.000 And that's it.
00:02:56.000 No food.
00:02:57.000 No food, nothing.
00:02:58.000 Cool.
00:02:59.000 One month.
00:02:59.000 Let's talk about how we go down for space when I catch a case for space aliens.
00:03:02.000 Space aliens?
00:03:03.000 I'm catching a case right here on fucking Earth.
00:03:05.000 You think I'm leaving Earth with no cases?
00:03:07.000 There's no fucking chance I'm leaving Earth with no cases.
00:03:09.000 I have a fucking English case that we beat all those years ago.
00:03:12.000 That's coming back up.
00:03:13.000 We'll defeat that in remaining cases.
00:03:14.000 We beat them one after the other.
00:03:16.000 Now Florida wants us?
00:03:17.000 Good.
00:03:18.000 Maximum stress.
00:03:20.000 Maximum testosterone.
00:03:21.000 It makes you live in a fucking high blood pressure environment that increases the potency of your Aikido.
00:03:27.000 The moment we clear all these fucking cases, I'm calling the cops on you and you.
00:03:31.000 They're going to swat our fucking houses.
00:03:33.000 I'll plant fucking drugs under your bed and snitch.
00:03:36.000 I'm keeping you in litigation for the rest of your life.
00:03:39.000 I'll commit crimes myself and say you accompany me.
00:03:44.000 At this point, if we go to outer space, we're going to catch an alien case.
00:03:47.000 Do you have your space suit yet?
00:03:49.000 No.
00:03:49.000 We're going to fucking need it because we're going to space jail.
00:03:53.000 We're getting cases for being cool.
00:03:54.000 Cool cases, space cases.
00:03:57.000 Tristan's right.
00:03:57.000 We need endless litigation for our blood pressure.
00:04:02.000 Sorry you're space, Honor.
00:04:03.000 I forced my way into Uranus.
00:04:05.000 *laughter*
00:04:35.000 *laughter* Guetta's son's birthday.
00:04:53.000 Didn't know he had a son.
00:04:54.000 Didn't know it was his birthday.
00:04:56.000 You got the lollipop.
00:04:57.000 How is it?
00:04:58.000 Give me a rating.
00:04:59.000 10 out of 10. Whoa!
00:05:01.000 Tastes like freedom.
00:05:03.000 So this is a cigarette.
00:05:05.000 Some serious fun now in Miami.
00:05:06.000 Oh, here we go.
00:05:07.000 They're fine.
00:05:08.000 As if it wasn't already fun.
00:05:09.000 I already found one smoking.
00:05:10.000 Smoke a lot of these even in Europe.
00:05:12.000 Two retarded women who want to try a cigar.
00:05:15.000 Two of these, and then how many of us are there?
00:05:17.000 There's one, two, three, four men, right?
00:05:18.000 Well, three men and then Bailey.
00:05:22.000 If I move to Miami like I think I will, if you get something really special in, price doesn't matter, you let me know because I like to enjoy those things because there's very few left.
00:05:30.000 When you get something really special...
00:05:32.000 You know the night we met Steven Seagal?
00:05:34.000 Yeah.
00:05:35.000 He gave us two Cubans, I swear to God, brother, this long.
00:05:38.000 Yeah, yeah, 1980-something.
00:05:42.000 Old, old.
00:05:43.000 And perfectly stored the entire time.
00:05:46.000 You could tell if they've dried out and been, you know, you could tell.
00:05:49.000 If you move to Miami, come back.
00:05:51.000 Oh, no, if I move to Miami, I'm getting a membership here.
00:05:53.000 What was your name, sir?
00:05:54.000 Byron.
00:05:56.000 Byron.
00:05:56.000 Tristan.
00:05:57.000 Good to see you again.
00:05:59.000 Yeah, you don't know me.
00:06:00.000 You don't do whiskey, dude.
00:06:04.000 The less it burns, and the smoother it feels, without irritating you, the better it is.
00:06:09.000 Double espresso.
00:06:14.000 And a tequila lime for the alcoholic.
00:06:16.000 You look quite German.
00:06:16.000 If you saw her in Munich.
00:06:18.000 Yeah.
00:06:19.000 You look very German.
00:06:20.000 Do you know how many Germans do you go to tequila?
00:06:22.000 Every single member of the Nazi party.
00:06:24.000 I know, I know.
00:06:24.000 I know the whole story.
00:06:25.000 I'm saying she actually looks actually German.
00:06:27.000 So you're a German?
00:06:28.000 No, you're a Nazi.
00:06:28.000 No, Nazi.
00:06:30.000 Come on.
00:06:30.000 Do it.
00:06:31.000 Come on.
00:06:32.000 Oh, hey, hey, hey, white palette.
00:06:33.000 You say white palette one time.
00:06:36.000 First thing is, if you're talking to an American, like, online, and you ask for their phone number, because Americans are so America-centric, they just send you their number without the country code.
00:06:45.000 715-8190.
00:06:47.000 And you're like, well, what fucking country are you in, dipshit?
00:06:49.000 As soon as you do that, you're like, oh, American, plus one.
00:06:51.000 It's the only country that does it.
00:06:52.000 Every other country is plus 4-0, plus 4-4.
00:06:55.000 We tell you where we're from.
00:06:56.000 America's good.
00:06:57.000 Other thing is Americans say their things they're not.
00:07:00.000 Like, I'm Irish!
00:07:01.000 I'm like, have you been to Ireland?
00:07:02.000 No.
00:07:02.000 Have your mom been to Ireland?
00:07:03.000 No.
00:07:03.000 Are you idiots?
00:07:05.000 I'm not making fun of you.
00:07:06.000 Let me change you.
00:07:07.000 Let me change you.
00:07:08.000 I'm Scottish!
00:07:10.000 Have you ever been to Scotland?
00:07:11.000 No.
00:07:12.000 Were you born in Scotland?
00:07:12.000 No.
00:07:12.000 Have your family born in Scotland?
00:07:13.000 No.
00:07:13.000 But my great-great-great-grandfather who came over to New York City in 1986...
00:07:17.000 Shut the fuck up!
00:07:19.000 In 1815?
00:07:20.000 Shut up.
00:07:21.000 You're American.
00:07:21.000 You're American.
00:07:23.000 I'll message you when I'm done to see if you're still up.
00:07:25.000 If you're not, if you're going to sleep early, whatever, I'll hit you tomorrow or some day.
00:07:32.000 So purple is the color of yours, huh?
00:07:35.000 That lead, I'm getting his help on it.
00:07:38.000 Good?
00:07:40.000 Good.
00:07:41.000 Good to see you.
00:07:42.000 How's it been?
00:07:43.000 I know, same old.
00:07:45.000 Good, man.
00:07:47.000 Hi, team.
00:07:49.000 Nice to meet you, man.
00:07:50.000 What else do you have playing over here?
00:07:51.000 I know we might go to UFC and power slap.
00:07:53.000 You gotta know this.
00:07:55.000 I've heard it before.
00:08:02.000 Who is it?
00:08:04.000 You've got to name the title and the artist.
00:08:06.000 No, no clue.
00:08:06.000 But I want to be happy, so I'm going to go and sit in the field and take mushrooms.
00:08:10.000 Well, then my love is completely valueless, because when they call me and say there's a problem, I'm going to say I can't.
00:08:15.000 And men are nothing but success objects.
00:08:17.000 We are valued by what we can do.