The Anchormen Show with Matt Gaetz - The Anchormen Show Ep 49 - In Love with Love w⧸Aysia Alexander

00:00:00.000 Now, it's time for the Anchorman Podcast with Matt Gaetz and Dan Ball.

00:00:21.720 Welcome back to the Anchorman Show. This is Matt Gaetz. I am so excited about our episode today.

00:00:26.960 So, we are not going to do the normal news of the day. What I'm so excited about this podcast is that we're able to explore features of the human condition.

00:00:35.940 So, if you want news of the day with the major newsmakers, we've had them on this program. We had Glenn Greenwald last week, but check out the Matt Gaetz Show.

00:00:43.880 It's every night on One America News, 9 o'clock Eastern, 6 Pacific. We would love to have you each and every night.

00:00:49.460 But the human condition means talking to people who've had different experiences and then learning from those experiences about our own humanity.

00:00:57.320 And so, while you may not have found every person the most relatable, whether it's the cage fighter we had on, whether it is the former federal prisoner who my co-host actually used to work for,

00:01:09.260 whether it is the comedian, the legendary comedian Louis Dix, or even a member of California's homeless community, we hope that you found a little bit about yourself.

00:01:18.260 And one of the things that we have really been following closely on this podcast is the loneliness epidemic in this country.

00:01:25.660 Never before in my life have I seen more people who are wonderful people with exquisite traits, lonelier than ever before.

00:01:33.580 And we were promised that the internet was going to make us more connected, that it was going to give us this great opportunities to have new relationships and connections and communications.

00:01:43.620 In reality, I see a generation growing up that is more distant than ever.

00:01:48.580 And I think about one of the most fundamental choices anyone makes in a life, and that is who your partner is, whether that partner is a spouse, whether that partner is someone who is fundamental to your formation as a human being,

00:02:05.120 how you think about love, how you think about relationships with one another.

00:02:08.820 These are absolutely critical questions.

00:02:11.060 And so I met someone here, a recent friend in the California community, who had all kind of great stories to tell me about what it's like out there in the dating scene.

00:02:20.460 And I have not been out there in a while.

00:02:22.120 And so I was so entertained by them.

00:02:24.060 I wanted to bring that conversation to all of you.

00:02:26.280 But I am joined, as always, by my good friend, co-host, on-again, off-again employee, the original producer of Steve Bannon's War Room, now a producer on the Matt Gaetz Show, the executive secretary of the New York Young Republican Club, Vish Burra,

00:02:41.140 currently wearing a hat from the most notorious prison in the world where he was the only video journalist ever to capture the images of the trendy Aragua Ward at Sakat Prison in El Salvador.

00:02:52.740 Thank you for being here, Vish.

00:02:53.700 I know you got last week off because of the mano-a-mano conversation I had with Glenn Greenwald.

00:03:00.880 Totally worth it.

00:03:01.820 But when talking about loneliness and the need for human connection, I needed your unique perspective.

00:03:08.200 Well, of course, yeah.

00:03:10.040 I've been lonely for a long time.

00:03:13.980 So, Asia, tell us a little bit about yourself, where you grew up, how you grew up, and what you do with your day these days.

00:03:21.720 Okay, well, I'm, okay, I'm originally from, like, Palos Verdes area, that's where I was born, I was born in Torrance, went to, like, elementary school, middle school, then in middle school, I moved to Newport Beach, grew up there from, like, middle school to high school, finished, like, my associate's degree there, went to OCC, moved to San Diego during COVID.

00:03:42.800 Then, in 2022, yeah, I moved to Arizona for a couple years, then back to Orange County, and back to San Diego.

00:03:52.700 See, I've always wondered about the California to Arizona migration.

00:03:56.620 Yeah.

00:03:56.780 Because this is, like, the greatest weather of all time, boundless natural resources, the most beautiful people on the planet, but people have been fleeing for Arizona.

00:04:07.860 The deserts that were so bad, the army wouldn't even chase the Mormons there. 1.00

00:04:11.900 I mean, I like the heat, so Arizona was fine for me, but I wasn't in fun Arizona, I was in Tucson.

00:04:17.300 And you went to Arizona for a specific reason, didn't you?

00:04:20.220 I did.

00:04:20.780 And what was that reason, Asia?

00:04:22.120 I went for a man.

00:04:22.780 You went for a man? 0.98

00:04:23.940 I did.

00:04:24.180 Tell us about him.

00:04:25.840 Okay, well, he's my ex.

00:04:27.380 We were together for almost three years.

00:04:29.500 He's still very nice, very sweet.

00:04:32.400 Like, he just lacks a little bit of something, and, like, can't really, I don't know.

00:04:39.320 I'm just waiting.

00:04:39.740 Well, let me throw out a theory as to why, because I think a lot of women are going to watch this and say, 1.00

00:04:44.340 well, I'm kind of in that, like, year and a half to two year, three year, and increasingly, I hear from women that they are with men,

00:04:52.780 who have absolutely no vision for what the future looks like for them.

00:04:56.120 Whether it's a long-term partnership, whether it's a marriage, whether it's a marriage with a family and children,

00:05:01.000 men are just happy to get from one day to the next.

00:05:03.760 Does that sound familiar to you at all?

00:05:05.760 Yes, 100%.

00:05:07.280 Because, like, I always ask the questions of, like, okay, well, like, do you see us getting married?

00:05:11.860 Like, do you want to be together for a long time?

00:05:13.940 And it's always like, I don't know.

00:05:15.580 How am I supposed to know?

00:05:16.460 I would hope you would have, like, some idea, and then you could tell me, so we could, like, plan for something.

00:05:24.080 But, yeah, a lot of guys, they just do, like, they don't have future plans.

00:05:28.180 You gave that guy three years?

00:05:30.560 Yeah.

00:05:31.300 Okay.

00:05:31.560 I mean, okay.

00:05:32.640 At first, you're, like, 21.

00:05:34.180 Like, come on.

00:05:35.000 You don't really know.

00:05:35.940 Okay.

00:05:36.160 Then I've gotten to, like, 22.

00:05:37.840 Okay.

00:05:38.280 23.

00:05:38.880 And I'm like, okay, well, like, do you maybe want to get married someday?

00:05:42.300 He's like, I don't know.

00:05:43.240 By what year should a man have a plan, like, generally for the architecture of their life?

00:05:50.740 Like, how old they should be?

00:05:52.080 Yeah.

00:05:52.500 Because, like, I mean, at 21, if you asked me for that architecture, it would have been something vastly different than what my life turned out to be.

00:05:58.820 Right.

00:06:00.300 Gosh, I don't know.

00:06:01.320 Not that I have, like, an actual plan.

00:06:03.700 But you want a man with a plan.

00:06:05.080 I want a man with a plan.

00:06:06.300 Do I have a plan of, like, everything step by step?

00:06:09.360 No.

00:06:09.720 But, like, maybe have an idea if you're, like, 24, 25.

00:06:15.800 What would happen if that was, like, a dating app thing you could filter by?

00:06:20.200 Like, you could filter by, hi, you could filter by, like, what are your filters on dating apps, Fish?

00:06:26.880 I'm actually upset I have any filters at all.

00:06:30.160 If it was up to me, I'd have no filters.

00:06:32.360 Everyone gets a chance on Vish Burra's Hinge timeline, Tinder timeline.

00:06:37.780 Is Hinge, like, the number one app now?

00:06:39.880 Everyone I talk to is on Hinge.

00:06:41.300 No?

00:06:41.760 I hate it.

00:06:42.840 Okay.

00:06:43.460 Why do you hate it?

00:06:45.640 Give us a Hinge experience, Asia. 1.00

00:06:47.540 Dad, like, dates off Hinge, but, like...

00:06:50.300 What was the worst date you had on Hinge?

00:06:53.360 Okay.

00:06:53.980 The worst date that I had on Hinge is when I first moved down to San Diego a year ago.

00:06:58.760 I was just on there.

00:06:59.700 I was like, okay, whatever.

00:07:00.760 Let's just see what it's like.

00:07:01.800 I had my age range from 23 to 31, 32.

00:07:08.640 I'm like, okay, let's just see what's out there.

00:07:11.060 Match with this guy.

00:07:12.440 He seemed cute.

00:07:13.360 He seemed tall.

00:07:14.480 Are those the only filters you had, the age?

00:07:17.860 Yeah.

00:07:18.680 No height filter?

00:07:19.900 I don't want to pay for that.

00:07:21.180 But you would, like, if you could get a free height filter, you'd put one on.

00:07:25.520 No.

00:07:26.180 Yes, you would.

00:07:27.020 That is a stone cold lie.

00:07:28.300 You would absolutely put a height filter.

00:07:29.480 Okay, maybe, like, 5'10 and up.

00:07:32.480 Okay.

00:07:32.980 Well, that's a height...

00:07:33.760 And that's, like...

00:07:34.320 Oh, there's so many people crying right now that are watching this podcast.

00:07:38.640 But you know what?

00:07:39.100 That's a height filter.

00:07:40.180 Oh, no, by the way, there's no judgment here.

00:07:42.660 I believe that people ought to be able to have whatever preferences their heart desires.

00:07:47.140 So, but I think it's interesting in a world in which you can make those selections at scale, right?

00:07:53.160 Like, in my era, when you wanted to meet somebody, you went to the local bar.

00:07:56.640 And your choice of options were the people that were there.

00:07:59.740 And if there were people who were there and single and interesting and interested, that was your universe.

00:08:05.060 But now, like, you've got this ability to say, I like guys who are into science.

00:08:11.720 Or I like guys who live in this exact area.

00:08:15.320 Or I like this height, this body type.

00:08:18.980 All those different things.

00:08:20.400 So I'm trying to assist how you use that technology.

00:08:23.420 Because it would have never been available to someone like me.

00:08:25.500 And Vish doesn't even want to use it.

00:08:28.100 He's taken any fish that will jump in the boat.

00:08:30.340 I mean, like, I feel like with Hinge, it's just, like, you can pick, like, their ethnicity, like, what you want to see.

00:08:40.060 And you like white guys.

00:08:41.140 I do, yeah.

00:08:42.020 That was your thing.

00:08:42.840 But I don't have that only, like, I'll see everybody.

00:08:45.840 Okay.

00:08:46.220 But is that just because it's premium and you'd have to pay for it?

00:08:48.320 No, you don't have to pay for that one.

00:08:49.780 So it's free racial discrimination on Hinge.

00:08:52.780 I didn't even know this.

00:08:53.640 Yeah.

00:08:54.700 How has that not been canceled?

00:08:56.560 You know what?

00:08:57.980 Maybe it's a safety thing.

00:08:59.400 I feel like maybe.

00:09:00.000 Actually, no.

00:09:00.860 Whoa, whoa.

00:09:01.380 No, no, no.

00:09:02.060 I think.

00:09:02.760 Very basic.

00:09:03.340 No, no.

00:09:04.000 I have a very basic response.

00:09:06.080 Well, I think actually filtering and selection based on race is, like, the last vestige of where that discrimination is okay.

00:09:16.120 Is in dating.

00:09:16.860 Yes, is in dating.

00:09:17.820 And only women can make that. 1.00

00:09:19.920 Men can't. 0.94

00:09:20.860 Men can't be, like, I'm only into.

00:09:23.160 Yeah.

00:09:23.800 White girls, Asian girls, black girls. 0.79

00:09:25.100 Like, when she said, oh, yeah, I like white boys.

00:09:27.360 It's like, yeah, I get it.

00:09:28.540 I love white girls. 1.00

00:09:29.920 I totally get that.

00:09:31.760 But I think women are allowed to say that and men are not. 1.00

00:09:36.580 Why?

00:09:37.400 Yeah.

00:09:38.220 I think it's.

00:09:38.760 I don't begrudge anyone their preference.

00:09:40.240 Well, I mean, think about.

00:09:42.560 Just think about the way dating apps are set up today.

00:09:46.640 There was a big movement years ago.

00:09:48.280 You could go look up articles about this.

00:09:50.560 How men will be like, oh, you're a trans woman.

00:09:56.000 You're not a real, you know, you're a man who transitioned. 0.98

00:09:59.860 I don't want you on my timeline.

00:10:01.240 I'm not interested.

00:10:02.380 Well, there was backlash to that.

00:10:03.920 Right?

00:10:04.320 And said, oh, no, you know, that's trans hate.

00:10:07.280 That's transphobia.

00:10:08.380 You should.

00:10:09.180 You know, a trans woman is a woman. 1.00

00:10:11.400 And you as a straight man should definitely give this person a chance.

00:10:14.760 Right?

00:10:15.260 And that was a certain backlash.

00:10:17.060 And there is a backlash against men doing anything at all to filter or set standards or express desires in a specific way.

00:10:27.800 But would a woman be judged if she was like, I'm only into dudes that have only ever been dudes? 0.94

00:10:33.800 I think no.

00:10:35.120 I don't think so.

00:10:36.660 I don't think they should be.

00:10:38.920 I'm saying it wouldn't be.

00:10:40.320 It's so much more complicated.

00:10:41.640 Yeah.

00:10:42.200 It's the Wild West out there when it comes to this.

00:10:44.480 But the other filter you had was age.

00:10:46.480 Mm-hmm.

00:10:47.060 Well, now, you were telling me about some dates you've been on where you were just hoping that your date wouldn't call it a date.

00:10:54.900 Oh, okay.

00:10:55.600 Yeah, we can definitely get into that story.

00:10:57.300 Bring it.

00:10:57.400 Because that's when I was working at the Intercontinental bartending at the pool.

00:11:02.560 And there was this older guy.

00:11:04.920 First of all, I thought he was gay. 0.98

00:11:06.400 Because he just seemed like, you know, so nice, so sweet.

00:11:09.160 He had two other women with him. 0.90

00:11:10.500 So I'm like, oh, my God, they're just having, like.

00:11:12.200 Gaydar was pinging.

00:11:13.180 I was like, oh, girls and gay day.

00:11:14.780 I was like, okay, fun.

00:11:15.560 And, like, I was helping them.

00:11:17.120 And then he was like, oh, like, I'd love to take you out to dinner.

00:11:20.660 And I was like, oh, thanks.

00:11:24.700 I'm busy.

00:11:25.700 I was like, you know, I have another job.

00:11:27.480 I have to go to work after this.

00:11:29.220 I didn't have another job.

00:11:30.520 I was just trying not to, like, have dinner.

00:11:32.820 So I went back to the bar, like, the bar.

00:11:34.920 And my coworkers were like, no, like, you should do it.

00:11:37.120 Like, maybe try to get some money out of him or, like, something.

00:11:40.060 See what he says.

00:11:41.220 And I was like, okay.

00:11:41.660 Is that a common thing with women? 1.00

00:11:43.280 To, like, tell a girl, like, oh, man, if he's, like, offering to take you out.

00:11:45.800 You've got my guy coworkers.

00:11:47.380 Oh, your guy coworkers?

00:11:48.480 Yeah.

00:11:49.380 Oh, wow.

00:11:50.040 That's interesting.

00:11:50.660 Yeah.

00:11:50.900 I only had one other girl that was a bartender. 1.00

00:11:53.820 She wasn't there that day.

00:11:54.720 It was, like, three other guys.

00:11:56.220 Oh, okay.

00:11:56.620 And they were like, do it.

00:11:57.840 Do it, but get some money out of it.

00:11:58.960 Yeah.

00:11:59.500 Okay.

00:11:59.760 And I was like, they gave me the story to tell this man.

00:12:02.920 Which was?

00:12:03.520 Which was, tell him that you work at a club downtown.

00:12:06.700 If you go to dinner with him, you'll be missing out on X amount of money.

00:12:10.680 And if he wants to take you out, then he'll pay you.

00:12:12.620 And I was like, okay, so that's what I did.

00:12:15.660 I went, and I told him that story, and he was like, how much do you usually make in a night?

00:12:19.480 And I was nervous, and I was like, I don't want to, like, take this man's money.

00:12:23.500 So I said 500.

00:12:26.420 Now, looking back, should I have said more?

00:12:28.380 Maybe.

00:12:29.080 But, like, what are you going to do?

00:12:30.060 What do you think?

00:12:30.480 Now that you know what you know, what do you think is the maximum you could have gotten out?

00:12:33.120 I would have been, like, $3,000.

00:12:35.280 Okay.

00:12:35.760 So for that, lay out the dinner experience.

00:12:38.460 Yeah.

00:12:38.780 I mean, are you bringing a story?

00:12:40.780 Are you a talent?

00:12:42.040 A skill?

00:12:43.340 Are you wearing, you, like, for the $3,000 date, you're wearing your best dress.

00:12:47.060 No.

00:12:47.540 You're, like, totally going to be the coolest person on the day.

00:12:51.100 I'm going to dress up, and, like, you know, I'm going with you.

00:12:55.820 That should be a gift enough.

00:12:58.060 But it ends there, right?

00:13:00.060 Like, 60 something.

00:13:01.060 Yeah.

00:13:01.420 It ends there.

00:13:02.100 60 something.

00:13:03.040 Yeah, he was, like, 60 something.

00:13:03.740 Whoa, the filter was at 32, like, 10 minutes ago.

00:13:06.500 No, this was the guy at the pool.

00:13:08.000 Oh, okay, okay.

00:13:09.200 This was the guy at the pool, like a random guy at the pool.

00:13:10.140 But this is important to understand.

00:13:11.480 So guy looking for online, you're kind of giving yourself up to 32.

00:13:17.860 Guy willing to pay somewhere between $500 and $3,000, we'll get the silver foxes.

00:13:23.240 Yeah.

00:13:23.700 All right, all right.

00:13:24.660 Well, but there's no future in that, right?

00:13:26.100 Yeah, there's no future in that.

00:13:27.380 See, that's the...

00:13:28.340 Wait, help me understand that, Vish.

00:13:29.520 I won't get it.

00:13:30.020 Well, Vish, it's...

00:13:30.840 I wasn't going to date the old man.

00:13:32.620 Right.

00:13:32.860 Oh, yeah.

00:13:33.340 Okay, just go out.

00:13:34.220 But on Hinge, it's like...

00:13:35.340 For money.

00:13:35.840 I'm looking for, like, you know, a partner potentially.

00:13:39.580 Now, do I think my partner's on Hinge?

00:13:41.200 No, probably not.

00:13:42.120 I'll probably delete it within the week for the 30s.

00:13:44.860 I would let this episode match.

00:13:46.660 We're going to put your match up.

00:13:48.520 I'd at least find out what was out there for you.

00:13:51.220 All right, so the date with this guy, he orders the full bottle of wine.

00:13:57.520 Yes.

00:13:57.860 Okay, so he's like, okay, I'll give you $500, like, come to dinner with me.

00:14:04.380 He's like, you pick the restaurant.

00:14:05.860 I picked Mr. A's, which is, like, in Bankers Hill, which is by my house.

00:14:11.360 And because I picked that restaurant, because I was like, okay, my mom can sit at the bar

00:14:16.860 while I'm on this date, so if it goes really, really bad...

00:14:19.740 For mom to the date.

00:14:20.940 I brought my mom, because if it goes bad...

00:14:23.420 Okay, what about...

00:14:24.280 How Gen Z?

00:14:25.740 Oh, my.

00:14:27.600 Oh, my.

00:14:28.680 Okay, here we go.

00:14:29.240 I have a lot of thoughts on this.

00:14:30.480 Here we go.

00:14:30.860 Here we go.

00:14:31.580 I brought her because if it was to go really, really bad, I could walk home with her.

00:14:35.860 I wouldn't have to walk home in the dark by myself.

00:14:37.660 Any tradecraft go into how you arrive with your mom?

00:14:40.540 Do you arrive in separate cars?

00:14:42.300 No, we took an Uber together, and then I'm waiting downstairs in the lobby, and I think

00:14:46.420 I'd go upstairs and go to the bar, so then, like, there's

00:14:49.560 no run-in.

00:14:50.200 We don't have to see you.

00:14:51.440 Vish, what's the signal?

00:14:53.460 Whew! 0.99

00:14:54.540 There is.

00:14:55.680 There is a lot going on on that.

00:14:58.320 Oh, my.

00:14:59.560 Oh, my.

00:14:59.880 I was nervous.

00:15:00.700 I was like, first of all, I'm going on a date with a 60-something-year-old man.

00:15:05.080 Who else am I going to bring?

00:15:06.640 Sit at the bar.

00:15:07.380 If it goes wrong, we can leave.

00:15:08.340 By the way, if he was super cool, you could introduce him to your mom.

00:15:10.780 She's in the dating scene. 1.00

00:15:13.660 I guess I...

00:15:14.600 Yeah.

00:15:14.980 Did you think about that?

00:15:16.060 No, because he fell asleep.

00:15:17.660 Oh, so you...

00:15:18.080 But we'll get...

00:15:18.540 Whoa! 0.71

00:15:19.460 Whoa! 0.71

00:15:20.600 I know, I have so much to say.

00:15:22.620 Wait, 500 bucks, and he couldn't even make it through the night?

00:15:25.140 No, I have so much...

00:15:26.160 Okay, so this is where it gets really funny.

00:15:28.480 She goes upstairs to the bar.

00:15:30.060 He comes.

00:15:30.680 Sometimes I'm waiting in the lobby.

00:15:31.560 We're like, okay, let's go in the elevator.

00:15:33.200 We take the elevator together.

00:15:34.880 We're in an elevator, and there's a family.

00:15:37.680 It's a mom, dad, their daughter, who's like around my age, and then the daughter's boyfriend.

00:15:43.240 They know why I'm there.

00:15:44.880 Silent elevator ride, and it's taking forever.

00:15:48.320 Tell me why the dad's like, oh, awkward little ride, huh?

00:15:51.960 And I'm like, oh, please.

00:15:54.360 You could have just said nothing.

00:15:56.760 Wow.

00:15:57.340 So that was the first rest of the night.

00:15:58.500 Everybody knows not to talk on the elevator.

00:16:00.420 Yeah, and so we get to the host stand, and the man's like, oh, yeah, we're here.

00:16:05.780 I made reservations.

00:16:06.740 It's our first date.

00:16:08.660 Why would you tell the hostess that?

00:16:10.560 I don't want them to know that this is a date.

00:16:12.900 To me, it wasn't a date.

00:16:13.880 To him, it was.

00:16:15.220 Does that make me wrong?

00:16:16.260 I don't know.

00:16:17.120 But it wasn't a date for me.

00:16:18.780 I was just like, I'll give you some companionship, whatever.

00:16:24.780 I get to eat.

00:16:26.120 I get a little money in my pocket.

00:16:28.040 And you get the thrill of, like, taking someone out that's young and, like, cute.

00:16:32.640 You know?

00:16:33.600 Everyone's needs are being met.

00:16:34.820 Exactly.

00:16:35.880 Of course, the table isn't ready.

00:16:38.060 So the hostess, she's like, oh, well, why don't you join us at the bar?

00:16:41.580 No, not the bar.

00:16:43.580 Yes, who's at the bar?

00:16:44.120 Do we remember who's at the bar?

00:16:45.440 Mom's at the bar.

00:16:46.180 Mom's at the bar.

00:16:47.380 So we walk to the bar, and I pull out the seat right next to my mom.

00:16:51.320 And she's, like, doing her own thing.

00:16:52.780 And she looks up, and her eyes get all big.

00:16:54.980 And I'm looking down at her.

00:16:56.380 And I'm like...

00:16:57.780 So what you're saying is you guys played it cool.

00:17:00.060 We played it cool.

00:17:01.000 And I was like, let me just run to the bathroom real quick.

00:17:04.480 So I ran to the bathroom.

00:17:05.440 I'm texting her.

00:17:05.900 I'm like, you need to get up and find a table somewhere else.

00:17:08.300 You cannot be sitting at the bar listening to our conversation.

00:17:11.600 Like, I'm going to give it away.

00:17:13.400 So she gets up.

00:17:14.520 She gets her table.

00:17:15.740 I'm talking to this guy.

00:17:17.420 And, like, he's telling me about his life.

00:17:18.960 And he's like, oh, so how old are you?

00:17:20.120 And I'm like, oh, like, I'm 23.

00:17:22.180 And he's like, oh, I got married when you were born.

00:17:26.480 Oh, my.

00:17:28.180 Oh.

00:17:29.300 I was like, oh.

00:17:31.100 Okay.

00:17:31.820 So if you're...

00:17:32.800 Let's give a little advice to the old guys out there 1.00

00:17:36.060 who get a chance to take out a beautiful young woman to a nice date,

00:17:41.480 let's give them some advice to not make it weird.

00:17:44.380 Don't make it weird.

00:17:45.180 It's already weird.

00:17:45.880 It's already weird enough.

00:17:47.180 Unless she's into that. 0.95

00:17:47.860 There are girls out there who are in older men. 0.96

00:17:49.860 No judgment.

00:17:50.780 Exactly.

00:17:51.280 Okay.

00:17:52.040 Yeah.

00:17:52.420 I'm not.

00:17:54.000 Pardon us older men for the fact that at times women that are younger than us 0.84

00:17:57.860 think that we're powerful and attractive.

00:17:59.860 But be that as it may,

00:18:01.180 what is the, like, right approach to just be cool and not weird

00:18:07.580 and just enjoy having maybe a little bit of companionship,

00:18:12.020 having a little bit of respite from loneliness, 0.98

00:18:14.520 and not being a jerk or a creep? 0.99

00:18:16.980 I don't know. 0.97

00:18:17.480 I feel like you're asking the wrong person

00:18:18.880 because I just think it's weird, point blank, period.

00:18:21.180 But you went.

00:18:22.340 Yeah. 0.61

00:18:23.520 So what do you want them to do to not make it suck for you?

00:18:27.140 No, I mean... 0.99

00:18:27.900 Do you just want to go and be miserable?

00:18:29.180 I wasn't miserable, but I wasn't, like...

00:18:34.380 I was ready for it to go.

00:18:35.800 But was the high point when he fell asleep at the table?

00:18:38.280 Oh, after his whole bottle of wine.

00:18:40.420 Did you have any?

00:18:42.040 No, because I'm not a big wine drinker.

00:18:43.860 So I had my, like, lemon drop martini.

00:18:46.880 He had already had, like, two glasses at the bar,

00:18:49.600 and we were only there for 30 minutes.

00:18:51.080 We get our table.

00:18:52.980 Like, the server's there.

00:18:54.280 Like, we order our food.

00:18:55.520 He gets, like, two more glasses of wine.

00:18:57.560 And a third glass of wine. 1.00

00:19:00.020 And I'm just, like, yapping, going on and on about, like, stupid stuff. 0.99

00:19:04.160 And midway through dinner, I was like, 0.99

00:19:06.320 oh, I'm going to just go use the restroom

00:19:08.240 because I really wanted to, like, talk to my mom, right?

00:19:10.500 So I go, and I go talk to my mom.

00:19:12.840 Tell me why the server from my table comes over to her table. 1.00

00:19:16.980 And he's looking at me, and he kind of cocks his head to the side.

00:19:19.920 And he's like, weren't you just...

00:19:22.260 And I was like, yeah.

00:19:23.240 Yeah, so I give him the whole rundown, the whole spiel really quickly.

00:19:25.840 You fess up to the date that you have brought your mom.

00:19:28.860 I told him everything.

00:19:30.020 Oh.

00:19:30.440 And he starts cracking up, and he's like,

00:19:32.360 should I send over our engagement platter of desserts for you?

00:19:35.780 And I'm like, no.

00:19:37.100 No, no, no, no, no.

00:19:38.120 Don't make it any weirder than it has to be.

00:19:40.200 I don't want any dessert.

00:19:41.460 I don't want anything that says, like, congrats.

00:19:43.980 All right.

00:19:44.260 That would have made it weird, but bringing your mom to the date,

00:19:47.300 that wasn't weird.

00:19:48.620 No.

00:19:49.280 No, of course not.

00:19:50.380 Of course not.

00:19:51.100 Because the guy didn't know.

00:19:52.180 The old man didn't know she was there.

00:19:53.760 Right, right, right.

00:19:54.780 I mean, well, the jig is off at the end of this thing.

00:19:57.360 All right, so how do we part ways with the silver fox?

00:20:00.720 Right.

00:20:01.640 Because the bill comes, and they fall asleep before...

00:20:07.860 No, okay.

00:20:09.080 So we're sitting there, and he's, like, kind of nodding off a bit,

00:20:12.920 and I'm just, like, watching him.

00:20:14.440 I'm like, is he really going to fall asleep?

00:20:16.780 There's no way.

00:20:17.740 Okay, this is our first date.

00:20:20.000 Can't fall asleep.

00:20:22.340 He knocks out, head back and all, and then the lady drops the check, 0.99

00:20:26.940 and so I just, like, tap him.

00:20:28.600 I'm like, hey, hey, and he's like, huh?

00:20:32.280 I was like, the check's here.

00:20:34.780 He's like, oh, he hands me his wallet.

00:20:36.520 He's like, just put my card down.

00:20:37.980 I'm like, okay, sure.

00:20:40.080 Falls back asleep.

00:20:41.700 Then I wake him up again.

00:20:42.980 Dude, narcolepsy's a real thing.

00:20:44.500 It affects me.

00:20:45.020 I think he just had a case of wine-itis.

00:20:47.840 All right, all right, all right.

00:20:48.920 So he's out again, then what, you just bail?

00:20:50.560 You just leave him there asleep?

00:20:51.180 Yeah, he, like, when I went to the bathroom, the bathroom,

00:20:54.560 talked to her, he had put the money under the napkin.

00:20:56.760 So I already had my money in my pocket.

00:21:00.320 And you rolled.

00:21:00.940 You took the cash and rolled.

00:21:01.580 I took the cash and I left.

00:21:03.420 And that was it.

00:21:03.920 All right.

00:21:05.180 I'm so excited when we get our Merriweather Farms shipments in.

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00:21:14.980 All I've got on here is a little salt,

00:21:16.900 a little pepper, and then a little avocado oil.

00:21:19.240 And then I've had my pan preheating with a little oil.

00:21:21.940 Head to merriweatherfarms.com and enter promo code MATTG

00:21:32.300 for 15% off your first order.

00:21:34.800 So we've gone through scenario one, the hinge search.

00:21:38.020 That did not pan out.

00:21:39.460 You're deleting the app immediately.

00:21:41.400 Fail.

00:21:42.220 Now we've gone through the sugar daddy experience,

00:21:44.620 and it ends with boring old guy falling asleep

00:21:48.040 after being super weird.

00:21:49.740 Right.

00:21:50.000 All right.

00:21:50.500 We've got another model we've got to run.

00:21:53.080 The complicated co-worker situation.

00:21:56.600 Oh.

00:21:57.780 Where are you going this weekend, Asia?

00:22:00.400 Not this weekend, but two weeks.

00:22:02.720 Okay.

00:22:03.020 Where are you going?

00:22:04.300 Vegas.

00:22:05.040 And where are you staying?

00:22:06.240 The Venetian.

00:22:07.280 And are you staying there at the normal commercial rate?

00:22:10.780 No, I'm not.

00:22:11.260 No.

00:22:11.720 And what special rate?

00:22:14.400 Are you getting the AARP senior rate?

00:22:16.560 No, I'm not getting the AARP.

00:22:17.920 New scenario.

00:22:18.700 New scenario.

00:22:19.600 This guy is, like, still young.

00:22:21.640 Okay.

00:22:22.220 Young.

00:22:23.060 Handsome.

00:22:23.820 Yes.

00:22:24.320 Tall.

00:22:24.680 How tall?

00:22:25.560 Like 6'2".

00:22:26.720 Okay.

00:22:27.300 Yeah.

00:22:27.780 And you are getting the employee rate at the Venetian?

00:22:30.880 Because he works there, yes.

00:22:32.300 And is it your anticipation that you'll be staying alone?

00:22:35.300 We'll see.

00:22:36.340 But?

00:22:36.800 Time will tell.

00:22:37.720 He told you.

00:22:38.300 If he can stay with me, yes.

00:22:39.940 Okay.

00:22:40.240 He said he'd like to.

00:22:41.120 All right.

00:22:41.460 So what are we assessing about the prospects for this one?

00:22:44.660 For this guy?

00:22:45.560 I mean.

00:22:46.100 Why has it not happened yet?

00:22:47.180 How long have we known each other?

00:22:48.120 Well, because we do work together still.

00:22:50.660 I've known him for maybe, like, two months now.

00:22:52.840 Which, by the way, society is telling him this is, if you get anywhere near this woman,

00:22:57.140 you are in deep trouble.

00:22:58.560 Oh, my.

00:23:01.060 Okay.

00:23:01.520 Okay.

00:23:01.960 But go ahead.

00:23:02.660 So, like, yeah, we've been working together for two months.

00:23:06.000 He's really cool.

00:23:07.100 Really chill.

00:23:07.980 He's really funny.

00:23:10.560 We get along.

00:23:11.940 We hang out basically almost every day.

00:23:14.580 Uh-huh.

00:23:17.020 Now, at some point, could it have been something?

00:23:20.880 Yeah.

00:23:22.280 But it's not because he has a lot of, like, rules and stipulations.

00:23:28.240 I guess.

00:23:29.520 Oh.

00:23:29.860 And, like, you know, the fact that we.

00:23:30.780 What rules of his do you break?

00:23:32.000 Well, like, the fact that we work together, he's like, no.

00:23:35.380 What did I tell you?

00:23:36.700 Oh, yeah, no.

00:23:37.540 That's a whole other conversation.

00:23:38.720 That used to not even be a thing.

00:23:40.680 My parents met working at the same place.

00:23:43.020 A lot of people's parents met working at the same place.

00:23:45.240 Now, after this, me too.

00:23:47.980 You see a woman that's at your workplace, and you treat them like a Fabergé egg. 1.00

00:23:53.000 You don't go anywhere near them.

00:23:54.720 Nothing, nothing, you know.

00:23:55.700 In fact, I think it's a conspiracy that every interaction out, like, anywhere in public,

00:24:01.620 like this at work or whatever, is meant to be off-limits so that all the deal flow for dating is.

00:24:09.040 Has to go to the apps.

00:24:09.920 Has to go to the apps.

00:24:10.860 They're literally trying to crush IRL as a construct to meet your partner.

00:24:16.260 Yeah.

00:24:16.640 And so, like, it's got to be frustrating to you that, like, you would have just never heard that ten years ago.

00:24:21.740 Ten years ago, no one would have been like, well, because we work together, like, we can't see if this could go somewhere else.

00:24:27.540 Yeah.

00:24:27.940 So that's got to frustrate you.

00:24:29.060 I mean, I have, like, dated my coworkers before, like, in the past, like, one of them in high school.

00:24:40.620 Okay, it doesn't count.

00:24:41.400 But, like, yeah, it doesn't count.

00:24:42.480 I mean, it was, like, senior year.

00:24:44.600 We were together for, like, almost over a year, though.

00:24:46.520 You're an adult now.

00:24:46.820 It's a different situation.

00:24:47.700 And after high school, too.

00:24:48.620 But whatever.

00:24:49.580 Different range.

00:24:50.120 What are the other rules of his you break?

00:24:51.540 Yeah, that's what I'm curious about.

00:24:52.820 I don't want to, like, air his dirty laundry, but, like, you know.

00:24:57.660 No name.

00:24:57.980 You came in here wanting to name.

00:24:59.300 I know.

00:24:59.640 But I'm not making you do that.

00:25:00.860 I did.

00:25:01.020 I said I wanted to name drop.

00:25:02.160 And now I'm like, okay, well, if anybody watches this, I don't want them to, like, come after me.

00:25:05.500 But he's just, like, he lives in Vegas.

00:25:08.780 He's out here for the summer.

00:25:11.000 And he's, like, not looking for anything.

00:25:13.820 He's a player.

00:25:14.660 Why?

00:25:15.080 Why didn't you just say it?

00:25:16.300 He's a player.

00:25:16.740 He is.

00:25:17.480 Yeah.

00:25:17.700 Okay.

00:25:18.180 So, wait, we've done the.

00:25:19.680 Because he has to see me, like, almost every day.

00:25:23.740 That's too much.

00:25:24.520 He doesn't want to, like, mix having a. 0.98

00:25:27.160 Too much accountability.

00:25:28.100 Yeah.

00:25:28.500 It's too much accountability that you're there all the time.

00:25:30.680 And so if he's up to something.

00:25:31.860 He's looking for something where he's, like, he can do what he wants to do and never see the person again.

00:25:35.200 Stop in at the Venetian and head out before the sunrise.

00:25:39.040 Well.

00:25:40.280 No, it's a problem.

00:25:41.240 I want to hang out.

00:25:41.820 I hear that.

00:25:42.200 I hear that from a lot of women who say that, like, the crop of single men.

00:25:48.100 Look, that are dateable and interesting and worth spending time with are so few.

00:25:55.780 And the resource is now, like, so rare that they have no incentive structure to really tie down with a specific person.

00:26:03.900 Do you think that's a fair characterization of the market?

00:26:06.720 I think so.

00:26:07.860 Yeah.

00:26:08.320 What do we do?

00:26:08.980 How do we fix that?

00:26:12.140 What do you think, Bish?

00:26:13.200 Great question. 0.98

00:26:13.700 Let it all burn. 0.61

00:26:14.540 Listen, this is the world that women wanted. 1.00

00:26:19.100 You got it.

00:26:20.360 And you can't be upset about it.

00:26:23.120 If you're, like, you want the guy who works at the Venetian.

00:26:26.880 He's still young.

00:26:28.500 He's over six.

00:26:29.560 Yeah, but he's chasing around.

00:26:30.100 He's chasing around the tail.

00:26:30.960 Because he can.

00:26:32.900 I'm not saying I want him.

00:26:34.680 I'm just saying.

00:26:36.260 It's like a relationship.

00:26:37.260 I'm just.

00:26:38.080 You want his attention.

00:26:39.160 You want his exclusive attention.

00:26:40.420 I mean, you're going out.

00:26:41.260 He goes anywhere.

00:26:41.680 You go out.

00:26:42.160 You're going out to Vegas for him.

00:26:43.420 So it's like.

00:26:44.100 I already know because he has to go back to Vegas eventually.

00:26:47.680 I'm not following him to Vegas.

00:26:49.140 Right.

00:26:49.500 I'm not here.

00:26:49.920 I knew it wasn't going to be, like, a relationship type thing.

00:26:52.800 What do you want?

00:26:53.100 200 days of summer.

00:26:54.500 What do you want?

00:26:55.180 Like, I asked you this question.

00:26:56.480 I want you to explain it to people because I think it frames your worldview.

00:26:59.500 There are some people who just date for the experiences.

00:27:02.940 Hey, it'd be fun to go have dinner with this person.

00:27:05.100 It'd be fun to have a relationship with this person.

00:27:07.960 You know, it'd be fun to go where this person is.

00:27:10.180 Travel with them.

00:27:11.640 So some people date for that purpose.

00:27:13.500 Some people date because someone else can financially support them.

00:27:16.800 Do you know anyone for whom they date because it provides them, like, sustainable long-term financial support?

00:27:23.780 You said your best friend.

00:27:28.460 She's not dating anyone right now.

00:27:30.080 Okay.

00:27:30.600 What does she do? 1.00

00:27:32.340 She, like...

00:27:33.920 Well, let's see.

00:27:38.280 What does she do? 1.00

00:27:40.200 Not much.

00:27:41.500 She doesn't have a job right now. 1.00

00:27:42.920 How does she pay for stuff? 1.00

00:27:46.320 Hustling.

00:27:47.120 Hustling.

00:27:47.760 How?

00:27:48.140 How is she hustling? 0.92

00:27:49.080 She's just hustling. 1.00

00:27:49.960 I'll talk about the men, but, like, you know.

00:27:54.140 What am I missing here, Vish?

00:27:56.260 A lot.

00:27:57.160 Well, probably not.

00:27:59.040 Not much.

00:28:00.060 Like, yeah.

00:28:00.960 Okay.

00:28:01.600 But why do you...

00:28:02.780 Forget about them.

00:28:03.840 Why do you date?

00:28:04.620 Like, why do you make the decision to go out on a date with someone?

00:28:08.020 Like, I obviously want to find someone who, like, wants to get married, like, have a family.

00:28:15.700 And, yeah.

00:28:17.060 Like, that's why I date.

00:28:18.180 I date because I want to find someone.

00:28:20.200 But I also know...

00:28:21.740 How many dates do you think you've been on as an adult?

00:28:25.540 Like, more or less than 50.

00:28:27.620 Oh, yeah.

00:28:30.120 Maybe, like, five?

00:28:31.920 Five total dates?

00:28:33.240 Maybe less than that.

00:28:34.620 Ever?

00:28:36.020 Like...

00:28:37.020 Let's see.

00:28:39.340 What is wrong with this system, Vish?

00:28:41.940 Wait.

00:28:42.560 You've only ever been on, what, five dates?

00:28:44.020 Like, real?

00:28:44.920 Like, date?

00:28:45.540 Like, you don't...

00:28:45.940 No, like, where you go out with someone.

00:28:47.560 Where you go meet someone for drinks.

00:28:48.840 Where you go have coffee with someone.

00:28:50.580 Where you go to dinner.

00:28:51.480 Go to the movies.

00:28:52.420 Go to the park.

00:28:53.200 And you're not in a relationship with them.

00:28:55.500 Right?

00:28:55.980 Well, just ever.

00:28:56.760 Whether you're starting to date.

00:28:58.340 Starting to be in a relationship.

00:28:59.140 Or maybe you were interested in them.

00:29:00.620 Or you wanted to check it out.

00:29:02.200 Maybe you hung out with them.

00:29:03.600 Didn't work out.

00:29:05.620 Or you saw something you didn't like.

00:29:09.900 Okay.

00:29:10.520 Yeah.

00:29:10.840 Maybe, like, ten.

00:29:13.600 I'm, like, trying to think, like...

00:29:15.280 Something's wrong with this picture.

00:29:16.500 No, because...

00:29:17.820 Okay.

00:29:18.220 So there was my boyfriend in high school.

00:29:19.960 He took me out to the movies.

00:29:21.080 Like, that was our first date.

00:29:22.760 And...

00:29:22.840 Only once ever?

00:29:24.380 I mean, I think we maybe went to dinner.

00:29:27.320 And then we would just, like, hang out at his house.

00:29:29.200 Okay.

00:29:29.420 Like, do, like...

00:29:30.200 We also worked together.

00:29:31.620 So then we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

00:29:33.600 Like, yeah, he'd take me out to dinner.

00:29:34.820 But I'm already, like, dating him.

00:29:36.540 Okay.

00:29:36.960 So...

00:29:37.440 Okay.

00:29:37.560 Still counts, though.

00:29:38.280 Then...

00:29:38.700 Okay.

00:29:39.000 I'm just saying, like, all the dates.

00:29:40.920 All the dates, then?

00:29:42.180 Yeah.

00:29:43.260 A few hundred?

00:29:45.660 Definitely less than that.

00:29:46.560 A few dozen?

00:29:47.800 Probably.

00:29:49.500 Yeah.

00:29:50.800 And on, like...

00:29:51.420 The full universe of dates you've been on.

00:29:53.220 Yeah.

00:29:54.320 Like, what share of those do you think are with someone who really shares your values?

00:29:59.460 Like, forget about their physical attributes or any of that, but, like, really wants the

00:30:03.180 same things you want.

00:30:04.020 To get married, to have children, to have a family.

00:30:07.540 Like, half?

00:30:10.280 All of them?

00:30:11.060 None of them?

00:30:11.500 Probably less than half.

00:30:12.740 I mean, I think all the guys that I have been in relationships with, like, maybe we shared

00:30:18.760 the same values, but then it just didn't work out, you know?

00:30:24.120 So...

00:30:24.640 Less than half the time, spending with someone who doesn't share your values is, like, a

00:30:28.900 huge waste of time, I think.

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00:31:19.520 Stay strong.

00:31:20.280 Stay free.

00:31:21.520 Bish, what am I missing about the dating scene?

00:31:23.700 Why hasn't it happened for you?

00:31:24.860 I've been giving Asia a hard time.

00:31:26.280 Yeah, let's hear from you.

00:31:27.540 What do you have to say?

00:31:28.600 It's a disaster.

00:31:29.780 It's a disaster.

00:31:30.600 Why is it a disaster?

00:31:31.700 The whole thing is a disaster.

00:31:34.100 Man, I love love.

00:31:35.200 You're making me sad.

00:31:36.340 No, I love love too.

00:31:37.480 I love love so much I would – I hate the dating apps, right?

00:31:41.200 It just flattens the entire experience.

00:31:44.860 What does it look like to you in a system that works?

00:31:47.880 What does it look like to me in a system that works?

00:31:51.280 What I would – I mean, a lot of this was already gotten right by the people who came

00:31:56.860 before us, set up these old systems before us.

00:32:00.460 You want to get –

00:32:01.320 The old systems that predated you were your parents finding somebody for you and some –

00:32:06.780 My parents were arranged.

00:32:07.900 Yeah.

00:32:08.260 Okay.

00:32:08.800 So would you –

00:32:09.600 My parents were arranged.

00:32:10.380 You prefer the arranged marriage system?

00:32:12.120 I prefer the arranged marriage system, but what I prefer is a system that tries to address

00:32:18.640 the problems that the arranged marriage system was created in a response to.

00:32:25.900 So, for example, I want to make sure that my young men and young women are married off 1.00

00:32:34.380 probably no later than 24, 25.

00:32:38.980 Is that the right age, Asia? 1.00

00:32:40.440 Should people get married? 1.00

00:32:41.720 Like, what age?

00:32:42.880 I mean, when I was a kid, I thought I was going to be married and maybe have a kid by now.

00:32:46.920 Really?

00:32:47.500 Right.

00:32:47.980 That's what I thought.

00:32:48.880 That's what I would have liked.

00:32:50.200 By the way, why would that have been important to you before – and we're going to go back

00:32:53.520 to Vish.

00:32:53.920 But why would that have been important?

00:32:55.280 I mean, I watched a lot of, like, Barbie movies with, like, the princess and the prince

00:33:00.000 and, like, I would always buy wedding magazines, like, at the airport and look through them.

00:33:04.200 So that was just always, like, my idea.

00:33:06.080 I always thought I wanted to, like, find my person, get married young, and then have a kid.

00:33:11.160 Okay.

00:33:11.500 All right.

00:33:11.900 So back to the old system and its reactionary form.

00:33:15.900 Yeah.

00:33:16.120 Like, I want my young men and young women married off by 24, not having too many experiences, 1.00

00:33:24.700 if not many experiences at all, with other men and other women.

00:33:29.100 Because –

00:33:29.420 Oh, please.

00:33:30.020 Yeah, 100%, because that's how – 0.96

00:33:32.040 Oh, you were such a prude. 0.65

00:33:33.080 I'm not – no, I'm not being a prude. 0.65

00:33:34.980 I'm being realistic.

00:33:36.460 The problem now, you go and see, everyone's jaded by some ghost of boyfriend's past or

00:33:42.200 girlfriend's past that they're trying to grasp onto, right?

00:33:45.840 I had this great guy, you know, boyfriend from years ago, and somehow it didn't work out, you know, whether that's my fault, whether that's his fault, whatever it is.

00:33:55.020 But, you know, I want something like that, or I want a version of that plus a little better.

00:34:00.160 If that guy just had some money, it would have been perfect.

00:34:02.480 And everyone's kind of chasing after this experience that they thought they had or they lost.

00:34:08.640 And by the time you're 30, 34, 35, maybe even 40, and if you're still not married, you've dated all these people, you know, you've had sex with all these people, and you get jaded over time because you're not finding your person.

00:34:25.060 So it doesn't – see, I look at it very differently because I look at past relationships and I think about different things that happened in those relationships that prepared me to be the best possible man for my wife.

00:34:37.820 And there are women who fixed things along the way that needed to get fixed with me. 1.00

00:34:43.480 And there might be some of them who look at it and say, well, hell, I fixed the truck and then it went off the lot.

00:34:51.360 But you don't look back at prior relationships – I look back at prior relationships and I honestly don't have a bad thing to even think about or say about one of them because I'm grateful for the self-improvement that I made largely due to the grace

00:35:06.440 and experience of someone else that I was able to learn from.

00:35:09.920 I really look at it that way.

00:35:11.080 Sure.

00:35:11.500 What if my past is – I've loved all of my girlfriends and everyone, but, like, none of them worked out, right?

00:35:19.260 And so, like –

00:35:20.160 But you're saying it's because of this consequence of, like, the perpetual dating machine fueled by the apps, fueled by –

00:35:26.760 It is a radicalization engine is my point.

00:35:29.660 If it was up to me, I would put the creators of dating apps through, like, Nuremberg-style trials.

00:35:36.300 Like, just think –

00:35:37.900 Oh, here we go.

00:35:38.660 Hold on.

00:35:39.040 Just think about the scenario for a second, okay?

00:35:42.260 This is trivializing the holocaust. 0.72

00:35:44.120 I'm not trivial – it's – I am just saying that that's how serious the problem is, okay?

00:35:51.200 No.

00:35:51.460 Just imagine –

00:35:52.060 The Nuremberg trials were because, like, 8 million people were killed.

00:35:54.780 Okay, fine.

00:35:56.080 I'm just – I'm being hyperbolic.

00:35:59.060 Anyway, just think about a young man from the age of 18 to 28, right?

00:36:08.600 Ten-year span.

00:36:09.920 Goes on a dating app every day, 365 days a year, okay?

00:36:13.680 Swipes right 20, 30 times a day, right?

00:36:18.000 Gee, is that really the frequency?

00:36:19.420 Do you swipe right how many times –

00:36:21.020 What's the free rate?

00:36:21.780 20 swipes you get?

00:36:23.040 30?

00:36:23.520 Is it even 20?

00:36:24.420 Maybe.

00:36:24.780 It's, like, 10, 15.

00:36:25.920 It might be 5, 7.

00:36:26.760 I think it's, like, 10 or 15.

00:36:28.720 Let's say 10.

00:36:29.600 Let's just say 10, okay?

00:36:32.120 365 days a year.

00:36:33.160 That means you swipe right 3,650 times a year to the right.

00:36:38.560 How many matches do you think that guy is getting?

00:36:42.880 Gosh, hundreds, I would assume.

00:36:45.400 Try 0.01%. 0.92

00:36:48.200 Well, is he ugly? 0.79

00:36:49.780 See, that – okay, so – 0.97

00:36:51.500 Is that what it's about?

00:36:52.780 Is it just a physical meme?

00:36:54.980 Okay, but that's the whole point of dating apps, though.

00:36:56.920 Like, you're looking at their pictures first.

00:36:59.380 Okay.

00:36:59.780 What do you want to see in the picture other than a white guy who's tall?

00:37:04.460 I mean, it's nice if they can show, like, some sense of humor.

00:37:07.600 Like, if they have, like, a meme as one of their pictures, like, I'm probably going to like that.

00:37:11.260 Like, that's cute.

00:37:11.860 That's funny.

00:37:13.000 If their prompts are, like, a joke or something funny, that's cool.

00:37:17.440 I like guys that have a sense of humor.

00:37:18.920 Like, a lot of guys have pictures and they're, like, holding their fish or, like, the head of a deer.

00:37:24.640 And it's like, okay, that's –

00:37:28.100 You're not looking for an animal carcass to be involved in the picture.

00:37:31.440 Right.

00:37:31.720 Or, you know what else is terrible?

00:37:33.760 When it's a group picture and we don't know who you are.

00:37:36.240 Which one are you?

00:37:37.880 Like, even put a – if, like, you look good in the group picture, that's fine.

00:37:41.260 But, like, put an arrow to, like, who you are.

00:37:44.060 Okay.

00:37:44.520 Don't let us guess.

00:37:45.280 And then the next three are, like, a group of you and two of your other friends.

00:37:48.740 And that's, like, okay –

00:37:49.580 What do you put on your profile to try to showcase your personality?

00:37:53.900 Okay.

00:37:54.380 I have, like, as one of my prompts, I think I have, like, a dad joke as one.

00:37:59.680 So, a little –

00:38:00.380 You're, like, doing, like, a family homage?

00:38:03.540 Oh, it's not my dad's joke.

00:38:05.100 It's just, like, a dad joke.

00:38:06.080 Okay.

00:38:06.400 Like, a terrible corny –

00:38:07.300 But, like, what about the pictures?

00:38:09.040 Um –

00:38:09.640 Dress?

00:38:10.280 Or me.

00:38:10.980 Like, just, like, cute.

00:38:12.580 Out to lunch.

00:38:13.260 Like, drinks at the beach.

00:38:15.640 Do you have other people in them?

00:38:16.980 Mm-mm.

00:38:17.700 Just you?

00:38:18.420 Just me.

00:38:19.160 Okay.

00:38:19.640 Yeah.

00:38:20.160 So, how many – so, Vish was saying men do this incessant swiping.

00:38:24.700 They never match.

00:38:25.400 Do you – how often do you swipe on the apps?

00:38:27.660 And do you find that you match a lot?

00:38:29.760 Um, I guess it depends.

00:38:31.680 I don't really swipe, like, that much.

00:38:34.680 Um, sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and I'll have, like, 30 likes.

00:38:39.520 30?

00:38:40.140 And then maybe I'll pick, like, two.

00:38:43.600 Oh.

00:38:45.640 So, so, so this is – what I'm noticing is this market differential.

00:38:49.900 Oh, yeah.

00:38:50.560 A real market differential between the women who are choosing between, like, a batch of yeses 1.00

00:38:55.860 and men who are, like, foraging in the wilderness.

00:38:58.300 Yeah.

00:38:58.580 That's what you're saying.

00:38:59.280 The men – the inequality in matches between men and women on dating apps, the – is probably

00:39:08.460 worse than some African countries. 0.86

00:39:10.640 Like, like, in terms of wealth inequality.

00:39:14.380 Like, that's how bad it is.

00:39:15.800 The coefficient.

00:39:16.180 Do you think people are alone today?

00:39:18.340 Do you buy my premise that there's, like, a time now where people are not finding their match in a really good way?

00:39:24.740 Um, I think so.

00:39:31.900 Do you have friends who have a hard time finding matches?

00:39:34.800 I think most of my friends are in relationships.

00:39:36.580 They are.

00:39:37.180 They found good ones.

00:39:38.040 Yeah, they did.

00:39:38.920 All right.

00:39:39.300 How'd they find them?

00:39:40.180 Was it the apps?

00:39:41.080 Was it coworkers?

00:39:42.880 Okay.

00:39:43.160 So, one of my friends found her boyfriend, like, out in PB.

00:39:48.680 Another of my friends – well, she just got engaged.

00:39:50.880 I don't know how she met her fiancé now, but another one of my friends, she's married and in Texas.

00:39:58.300 They met in high school.

00:40:00.920 It's very traditional.

00:40:02.200 Like, when people meet through the apps, I find there's almost an apprehension for them to say it.

00:40:07.580 Or maybe that's gone away.

00:40:09.080 But it used to be – people would be like, oh, well, don't tell people we met on eHarmony.

00:40:13.520 Don't tell people we met on, you know, this.

00:40:16.280 Because there was a sense that if you had to go that route, there was an air of desperation.

00:40:21.600 Or, you know, is there that stigma now?

00:40:24.080 Or is it the assumption that if you're single, you're probably on the apps?

00:40:28.180 I think it's not as embarrassing anymore to be like, oh, we met on a dating app.

00:40:33.900 Because now there's a whole, like, TikTok trend where it's like, oh, I wish we met anywhere but here. 0.83

00:40:39.840 And then they, like, you swipe and it's their first Hinge or Tinder conversation and it's something funny or stupid.

00:40:45.420 And then they've been together for, like, three, four years.

00:40:47.940 Or people are in the comments like, oh, my gosh, I met my husband on Hinge, like, five years ago.

00:40:53.480 Like, people are a lot more open about it now.

00:40:56.960 My problem is it's hard to go out and meet anyone, especially in San Diego.

00:41:02.060 And why is that?

00:41:04.840 I think because I usually go out in PB or something.

00:41:10.460 And even if you're just, like, going out and you're trying to make, like, girlfriends or something,

00:41:15.100 if you don't already have a group of friends, you're probably not going to talk to anyone.

00:41:19.100 Oh, do you go out by yourself or do you go out with a group?

00:41:21.720 I go out with a group.

00:41:24.060 She's one of my coworkers and she, like, just graduated from SDSU.

00:41:27.480 And, like, if I go out with her, obviously, I'm a little older.

00:41:30.920 I didn't go to SDSU, so I don't really know anyone.

00:41:33.460 If she's not being like, oh, hi, this is my friend Asia from work, I'm probably not going to talk to anyone in that group.

00:41:40.540 Oh, yes.

00:41:41.040 Yeah.

00:41:41.260 Like, when I was in law school, people would go out.

00:41:43.820 And, I mean, if you were at a bar, the assumption was you were going to be at least interacting with most of the people there.

00:41:49.900 Or, you know what, I do go out by myself sometimes because, like, if I want to go check out a happy hour and I'll sit at the bar, nobody will talk to me.

00:41:59.400 Not even the bartender half of the time will talk to me.

00:42:01.960 Dang.

00:42:02.480 And it's so weird.

00:42:03.800 And my friend Leah and I, we were literally just talking about this because she came to visit last week.

00:42:08.340 We went out in PB on a Thursday and we were like, oh, my God, like, let's go, let's mingle.

00:42:13.700 It was just the two of us.

00:42:14.980 Nobody approached us.

00:42:16.100 Nobody came up.

00:42:16.960 Were there, like, good-looking guys, interesting people that you would like to have talked to?

00:42:20.760 I mean, there's guys in there and they were, like, some of them were good-looking.

00:42:23.880 Did you think about saying, hey?

00:42:25.960 Maybe approaching them?

00:42:28.800 No?

00:42:29.360 No.

00:42:30.460 Why is that?

00:42:31.140 Why do I?

00:42:32.380 You have to be, like, real bad.

00:42:36.240 Do you see the things that have been done to society, though, to disincentivize a man who doesn't know you from, like, going up and talking to you?

00:42:43.820 Because there's a lot of risk in that.

00:42:46.120 There is.

00:42:46.920 I mean, there is.

00:42:47.820 There could always be someone who's, like, awful and she's like, ew, no, get away from me.

00:42:52.980 But, like, does that really happen?

00:42:54.740 Do girls really say that? 1.00

00:42:55.740 Yeah.

00:42:56.500 Really?

00:42:57.000 You know?

00:42:57.560 Fish, what happened to you in Chattanooga, Tennessee?

00:43:01.880 Oh, no.

00:43:03.300 Oh, man.

00:43:04.120 So, great story.

00:43:06.580 I was, we were out there one day, I think we were going to do a rally in Dalton.

00:43:12.400 With Marjorie Taylor Greene.

00:43:13.140 With Marjorie Taylor Greene.

00:43:13.980 Fantastic woman. 1.00

00:43:14.880 Fantastic woman. 1.00

00:43:15.660 Fantastic event.

00:43:16.420 She came out, rolled out in the Humvee, if you remember that.

00:43:20.420 But before then, you were at?

00:43:21.500 But before that, we were staying in Chattanooga.

00:43:23.760 Uh, I had rolled in to a CVS with Ginger to go get some tasty bevs.

00:43:29.140 And Ginger was getting some bevs and I'm just making sure everything's going all right.

00:43:33.760 Nobody's, you know, weird or crazy is around.

00:43:36.940 And all of a sudden, walks into the CVS, one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

00:43:43.380 Paint a picture.

00:43:44.360 She actually had, she had like a short like Bob style cut. 1.00

00:43:48.260 Uh, it was warm outside.

00:43:49.600 She was wearing like a white like t-shirt V cut.

00:43:52.840 Uh, it was a little kind of sundressy kind of skirt.

00:43:56.420 Uh, a little eclectic.

00:43:57.820 She had like the big, um. 1.00

00:44:00.180 Hoop earrings.

00:44:00.940 Not hoop earrings, but they were like big and kind of dangling.

00:44:04.500 They were dangling.

00:44:05.160 Shoes.

00:44:05.720 Yeah.

00:44:06.240 Uh, she, she was wearing flats. 1.00

00:44:08.700 But with, with the toes showing.

00:44:10.300 You should have known.

00:44:11.000 So, I mean, I mean, it was fine.

00:44:13.780 She was keeping it, you know, whatever, kosher.

00:44:16.080 I don't know what she was doing.

00:44:17.260 Anyway, she walks in.

00:44:18.500 She's beautiful.

00:44:19.260 I'm like struck by her.

00:44:21.120 So, I'm just looking.

00:44:22.580 I'm like, oh man, I'd really like to go, you know, talk to her.

00:44:27.240 Or, you know, maybe she even look at me.

00:44:29.460 Maybe we lock eyes.

00:44:30.740 Turns out, you know, she does look at me.

00:44:33.200 We do lock eyes.

00:44:34.600 We lock eyes for more than like two or three seconds as she's like walking into the place.

00:44:39.760 And she looks at me.

00:44:40.620 She stops.

00:44:41.160 She looks at me.

00:44:41.600 She goes, what are you looking at?

00:44:45.080 Just, and I'm just like, oh my God.

00:44:48.240 First of all, I've never been more in love than at that point right there.

00:44:52.740 But she was like aggressive. 1.00

00:44:54.340 And by the way, she wouldn't, she wouldn't, like she wouldn't take her eyes off me until

00:45:00.220 Ginger and I left the place.

00:45:03.020 But you were scared.

00:45:04.160 But I mean, I don't, I would love, I was like, I was awestruck by her beauty.

00:45:08.720 But she was, she literally was like, what are you looking at?

00:45:12.040 If I went up to her to try to talk to her and be like, ma'am, I thought you were, you're 0.99

00:45:15.560 one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

00:45:17.460 And I'd like to get your name and number.

00:45:19.520 You say, how do you think that would have gone down?

00:45:23.120 I would have been bailing you out of a Chattanooga jail is probably the way that would have

00:45:28.120 ended.

00:45:28.760 Yeah.

00:45:29.320 Tennessee, Chattanooga, Tennessee.

00:45:31.240 Yeah.

00:45:31.600 Was it a white lady? 1.00

00:45:32.640 It was a white lady. 1.00

00:45:34.920 Oh, you're going to blame him?

00:45:36.440 No, no, no, no.

00:45:40.860 Oh, if she was racist, maybe. 1.00

00:45:42.840 It's like, maybe, maybe not.

00:45:44.680 I don't think so.

00:45:45.300 You didn't get that energy.

00:45:46.220 But I didn't really get that energy.

00:45:47.780 No, I think she just like, she just had a bad day or something.

00:45:51.820 Oh, okay.

00:45:52.260 I think so.

00:45:53.420 We got a few minutes left.

00:45:55.260 And what I want to assess is like, what can we do to create conditions where people will

00:46:01.300 feel warmer about those approaches, whether it's you meeting an angel at a Walgreens or

00:46:07.340 whether it's Asia getting a beer at a happy hour and hoping that somebody, that her prince

00:46:15.800 that she remembers from the Disney movies will come and sweep her off her feet and be

00:46:20.940 interesting and not fall asleep at the table.

00:46:24.100 And not be old, like 60-something.

00:46:28.100 But what's your limit on that?

00:46:29.340 32?

00:46:30.740 That's about right.

00:46:31.540 Yeah.

00:46:31.980 Yeah.

00:46:32.200 Yeah.

00:46:32.560 Okay.

00:46:33.000 Well, I feel, look, for me, my, I don't like the dating apps and I, I, I, how do you create

00:46:41.620 the most?

00:46:42.220 Okay.

00:46:42.780 I've mostly deleted them.

00:46:44.740 I'm because I moved out of here recently.

00:46:46.540 I was like, I'll give it a shot.

00:46:47.500 But for me, the most success I've found, uh, has been in areas where warm approaches can

00:46:55.260 be facilitated and created.

00:46:57.760 Right.

00:46:58.400 I've met girlfriends at like protests where, you know, I, we go out common cause where they're

00:47:06.320 fighting the same cause or whatever.

00:47:08.400 Was it an anti-vax protest?

00:47:09.800 Yes, it was.

00:47:10.500 Okay.

00:47:10.840 Well, that's very different because people are looking for something very specific.

00:47:13.820 Yeah, but I, I, but nonetheless, that's the answer.

00:47:16.680 The answer is fine.

00:47:17.400 People have common interest.

00:47:18.420 Right.

00:47:18.900 Right.

00:47:19.380 So I just bumped into her.

00:47:20.700 It could be anti-vax.

00:47:20.740 It could be Japanese animation.

00:47:22.400 Right.

00:47:22.740 Exactly.

00:47:23.260 Any common interest.

00:47:24.340 Right.

00:47:24.660 So like, I just bumped into her.

00:47:26.340 All right.

00:47:26.680 She was pretty. 0.97

00:47:27.440 I said hello and then we got her number and then we, but that's something missing at

00:47:33.780 like the Walgreens or at the happy hour because it doesn't reflect a specific intro.

00:47:39.240 That's cold approach, right?

00:47:40.660 So there's a cold approach and I'm, what I'm talking about is the warm approach.

00:47:43.600 Right.

00:47:44.080 That's why I loved New York and DC.

00:47:46.460 There's always these events going around some familiar faces, but then not some familiar

00:47:50.980 faces where there's opportunity where you're getting social proof because there's people

00:47:56.240 in the room who know you and say, oh, that's Vish.

00:47:58.340 You should meet him, blah, blah, blah.

00:47:59.560 And then there's also this opportunity for deal flow where there's new people coming in,

00:48:05.460 new women coming in.

00:48:06.680 And it's like, oh, you don't know Vish?

00:48:08.480 Oh yeah, here, this is Vish.

00:48:10.100 Or I would go.

00:48:10.960 It's like, oh, you're new here.

00:48:11.960 I've never seen you.

00:48:13.400 What brings you here?

00:48:14.380 Right?

00:48:14.640 Like there's a-

00:48:15.280 Oh, I got married.

00:48:15.860 My wife showed up at Mar-a-Lago and she'd never been there before.

00:48:18.220 Exactly.

00:48:19.060 Exactly.

00:48:19.720 That's how, how, that's more conducive to create the conditions.

00:48:24.340 Okay.

00:48:24.540 But what you need to do is kind of find out like, well, what you have to know, have knowledge

00:48:30.000 of self.

00:48:30.560 What do I like?

00:48:31.440 And then go and find where those people congregate and, and, and ingratiate yourself into that

00:48:38.440 social scene or ecosystem.

00:48:40.720 So for Vish, that's anti-vax protests.

00:48:43.040 What's it for you, Asia?

00:48:43.920 I guess they start going to protest.

00:48:45.520 Not really.

00:48:46.920 No, but it wouldn't work because you have to share the interest.

00:48:49.080 You have to get the, so, so it, I think what he's saying is it only works if it, if you

00:48:53.740 find something that is really tied to an interest you have and people are going to share that

00:48:58.060 interest and be around.

00:48:59.020 And it's like something, it's at least something to build on that you don't have at a happy

00:49:03.380 hour or a Tennessee Walgreens.

00:49:05.680 I suppose.

00:49:06.820 You know what?

00:49:07.120 What are your interests?

00:49:08.180 What are you, what, what would be your like niche thing that you're like, you know what?

00:49:10.840 I would love to meet someone who's also interested in origami.

00:49:20.840 I'm like, what do I do?

00:49:22.680 I'm thinking, what do I usually do?

00:49:23.860 I go to the beach.

00:49:25.240 Okay.

00:49:25.860 I go out.

00:49:26.720 I like to go out and like, like check out new restaurants or like, like eat and stuff.

00:49:32.140 Like a foodie group.

00:49:33.080 If it was like a foodie group that tried out new restaurants, you could go.

00:49:37.180 But that seems kind of lame, no?

00:49:38.320 Well, not, not throwing shade at anybody that's in a foodie group, but.

00:49:42.640 Oh, they're vicious online.

00:49:44.360 They'll be coming at you.

00:49:45.100 Like, I know.

00:49:45.780 But that just seems like, I don't know.

00:49:49.380 I'd rather just beat somebody like out at the bar, but that is clearly not happening.

00:49:52.420 That's not happening for you.

00:49:53.240 Maybe I know.

00:49:53.680 Maybe I need to do a foodie group.

00:49:56.040 Are there any foodie groups out there?

00:49:57.780 Let me know.

00:49:58.980 We will.

00:49:59.720 In San Diego, foodie groups.

00:50:01.320 Maybe I'll make my own foodie group.

00:50:03.400 Oh my gosh.

00:50:03.960 And then you could control entrance into the foodie group.

00:50:06.740 Right.

00:50:07.000 Be like, oh, you have a, you have, you have a spouse.

00:50:10.160 You can't be in my foodie group.

00:50:11.200 You can't be in the foodie group.

00:50:12.060 You know, I actually found in San Diego, there's a lot of these like little groups and meetups

00:50:17.220 and stuff that are organized and take place.

00:50:21.940 I actually, I just signed up for one.

00:50:23.840 I think it's called Bucket Listers. 0.99

00:50:25.040 And it's a after work disco dance party for people over 30.

00:50:30.320 And instead of the disco party starting at 10 PM and last until 2 AM, it's meant to be something you come to after work 5 PM to 9 PM.

00:50:40.060 So you don't go home.

00:50:41.080 Now I know what you're thinking, but Vish is actually a Bollywood trained dancer.

00:50:45.780 The man is very light on his feet.

00:50:47.780 He knows ballet, tap, jazz.

00:50:50.380 So if other people are really interested in that type of dancing, Vish will be like a really exciting person to hang out with.

00:50:59.280 Yeah.

00:50:59.420 Yeah.

00:50:59.760 That's cool.

00:51:00.800 Yeah.

00:51:01.040 I can't dance in public.

00:51:02.160 Like I was told that actually, if people look on Twitter, they're going to find some stuff that is not, that is not all that flattering to me.

00:51:09.580 You don't have rhythm?

00:51:10.180 No, at all.

00:51:11.160 It's like, I don't even hear the song.

00:51:13.340 And the problem is I get to the point where I think I do.

00:51:17.040 And that's where things get pretty dangerous.

00:51:19.820 No, I'm not at all.

00:51:20.760 I have other skills, but you know what?

00:51:22.100 I found someone in my niche and I hope you do as well.

00:51:24.780 I hope you do as well.

00:51:25.560 And I appreciate the fact that you both, you know, came here to chat with me about it.

00:51:28.820 And I think that, you know, what I hope people take away from this is that the more you know yourself and the more you find a specific opportunity, the greater chance you have at happiness.

00:51:38.280 And I hope the thing at the Venetian goes well.

00:51:40.120 I hope he treats you right.

00:51:41.320 And you know what?

00:51:42.380 Maybe, just maybe, the ones who are like former players, when they meet the right person and they see their life in a different way, there is change.

00:51:51.920 I know a lot of women say, like, you can't change a man, but I have seen men be the best version of themselves, mostly as a consequence of a change in faith and their faith structure or getting the right partner.

00:52:06.700 I think those are very driving factors.

00:52:10.760 It might just be a friend trip.

00:52:12.740 It's not going to be a friend trip.

00:52:13.860 I think it might.

00:52:15.000 Well, maybe.

00:52:16.400 Let's manifest.

00:52:17.420 Hey, let's manifest.

00:52:18.540 Let's do a little manifestation session.

00:52:19.920 That's all the time we have for the show, gracefully, and I hope that you will tune into the Matt Gaetz Show.

00:52:27.980 It is on One American News every night, 9 o'clock Eastern, 6 Pacific, and we are honored to be here at this great network.

00:52:34.480 You can also get our podcast on all of the platforms where you normally listen.

00:52:39.320 Make sure to give us a five-star rating, give us a review, let us know if there's a specific feature of the human condition you would like us to discuss.

00:52:45.980 Thanks for joining.

00:52:46.480 Want to see more great videos like this?

00:52:49.340 Click on the link below to subscribe to OAN Live and watch Dan Ball's Real America and the Matt Gaetz Show on Dish Channel 212.

00:52:56.540 Tune in, subscribe, and watch today.

The Anchormen Show with Matt Gaetz - August 14, 2025

The Anchormen Show Ep 49 - In Love with Love w⧸Aysia Alexander

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