The Anthony Cumia Show - April 21, 2025


Nick Di Paolo ｜ 04-20-25


Episode Stats


Length

41 minutes

Words per minute

164.88051

Word count

6,872

Sentence count

433


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
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00:01:00.680 It's the Anthony
00:01:01.940 Cumia Show. Entertaining
00:01:03.620 and informative. On the Red Apple
00:01:05.900 Podcast Network.
00:01:08.880 That it is.
00:01:10.380 Anthony Cumia Show
00:01:11.380 on a fine Sunday evening
00:01:13.880 and
00:01:14.960 oh boy, let me tell you.
00:01:18.380 I've known this guy for
00:01:19.800 many, many years. Just a
00:01:21.820 great comic. Used to come on the Opie and Anthony
00:01:23.720 show all the time and uh people liked a couple of us italians just waxing fantastic about the good
00:01:31.320 old days and the the crap that's going on uh in our country and the world right now he has his
00:01:38.640 own show which i'm sure he'll tell you about better than i ever could mr nick d'apallo nick
00:01:43.680 how are you my friend uh very good anthony very good uh first of all i want to give a shout out
00:01:49.840 to wabc radio for having the gonads the testicles the fortitude uh to put anthony cumia on the air
00:01:58.120 where he belongs um somebody over there has good taste and like i said huge brass ones
00:02:03.880 isn't that it's insane yeah after everything that's happened it's like all right i'll come
00:02:09.920 back to the broadcast airwaves i like the idea of the fcc breathing down my neck it wasn't it
00:02:17.420 wasn't enough to have every podcaster and woke uh jack off or anything else uh uh trying to get
00:02:24.500 me fired or killed yeah let me let me get the government back on me again like it was back in
00:02:29.520 the early 2000s you gotta hand it to whoever that i've never maybe i know the guy because i did have
00:02:35.600 do a stint with wabc i think i did i don't know yeah i'm like you i've been fired and uh whatever
00:02:41.340 but i would like to know the guy that pulled the trigger on the show and i say he should uh you
00:02:46.520 know run for a governor in new york replace that sloppy bitch oh my god governor mayor anyone in
00:02:54.340 new york senators congress people it's you know nick you abandoned new york just like i did
00:03:02.400 yeah and we had friends and family up there and and it's you know it's tough to just move because
00:03:08.600 you get used to where you are you kind of fall into a habit it got so bad that we we left and
00:03:17.380 it has to be because so many people there keep voting for the same imbeciles and and they'll
00:03:25.920 get rid of one and think well now it's going to get better and vote in the same virtually the same
00:03:30.880 person and we've seen this happen so many times with the mayor adams uh governor uh cuomo and
00:03:39.440 then you got hokul and and the collects chuck schumer the whole collection of them just seem
00:03:46.940 to be dedicated to screwing that state up well i i have a theory about that and not just new york
00:03:54.660 A lot of big blue cities that are going in the toilet.
00:03:58.580 Big blue cities.
00:04:00.740 They needed the money.
00:04:03.860 Oh, that would be great.
00:04:08.560 Dice talking about the farm bill on the Senate floor.
00:04:13.220 Why aren't you paying these farmers?
00:04:16.060 They're out there picking corn or something.
00:04:19.100 Give them some money.
00:04:21.020 Oh.
00:04:24.660 The like the attorney generals, I know some in some some states, the attorney generals are elected, some they're appointed.
00:04:34.580 But my point is, even like New York City, I really believe those people I'd voted in.
00:04:39.680 I believe, look, if they could fix the presidential election, which they did, by the way, in 2020, I really believe it's rigged in New York.
00:04:48.620 and other because even new yorkers as liberal as they are um they they're not that stupid
00:04:55.500 they i i i i mean i hope i'm right that they would vote in the same liberal scum that
00:05:01.520 that every eight years destroyed their city i really believe it has to be rigged from the inside
00:05:07.600 um either that or it's really sad that they're i don't know new york is more credit i don't think
00:05:14.160 to that stupid but like chicago yeah let's replace we're gonna get rid of laurie lifewood
00:05:20.160 and replace her with somebody 40 feet to the left of her what the every time you just see these
00:05:29.400 cities like yeah of course uh new york chicago atlanta uh then smaller ones like baltimore
00:05:37.620 Oh, what about Oakland?
00:05:40.700 Oakland just elected a new mayor, Oakland, because the last mayor was corrupt, stealing money, all kinds.
00:05:50.040 And Oakland's just been a disaster.
00:05:52.360 People are leaving.
00:05:53.340 Businesses are leaving in droves.
00:05:54.920 You can't find one open fast food restaurant.
00:05:57.360 They boarded these things up and left like Martians were attacking.
00:06:02.480 They would not stick.
00:06:03.420 And then they just elected this woman that, like you said, a mile to the left of the last guy that was in there.
00:06:11.020 Nothing will get done.
00:06:12.940 And New York had a chance.
00:06:15.260 You know, anybody but a Democrat like Adams, Adams, by the way, now is just playing off of the fact that Trump and his Justice Department got him off the hook.
00:06:26.700 So he's got to be a good boy.
00:06:27.840 And then, but Hochul, like you could have had Zeldin, Lee Zeldin, and they just vote in this woman that she's terrible for the state.
00:06:41.460 She didn't even get voted in.
00:06:43.260 No, no.
00:06:44.800 Nobody voted for her.
00:06:46.360 She got dragged into this.
00:06:48.000 Where were they hiding that wildebeest?
00:06:50.460 You know what I mean?
00:06:52.000 Did you ever hear her before she became a judge?
00:06:55.220 I don't know where they find these people.
00:06:57.840 No one hears of the lieutenant governor.
00:07:01.440 They don't know who it is.
00:07:02.500 And then Cuomo tries to say, hey, I'm Italian, so I'll molest people at weddings.
00:07:07.840 He thought that one would work.
00:07:09.940 They throw him out.
00:07:11.440 He pretty much offed a thousand elderly in old folks homes during COVID.
00:07:18.380 And now he wants to run for mayor of New York.
00:07:23.040 But, yeah, Hochul gets in there.
00:07:24.720 And then when she went through Cuomo's term, they gave us a chance in New York.
00:07:32.000 You want Lee Zeldin?
00:07:33.360 Here's a Republican.
00:07:34.480 It's something different.
00:07:35.660 Maybe try it.
00:07:37.360 Boom.
00:07:38.040 They just go for the Democrat every time.
00:07:41.080 And we're screwed.
00:07:43.020 And it got me to leave.
00:07:45.040 I picked up and left.
00:07:47.260 Yeah, well, I always dreamed of heading south.
00:07:51.740 And my politics always fit down here.
00:07:54.720 I mean, I was being called a redneck in seventh grade for crying out loud before I even knew what it was.
00:08:00.160 I didn't know I didn't like liberals.
00:08:02.240 I didn't even know what a liberal was when I was 14, but I knew one when I met one.
00:08:06.700 It was like pornography.
00:08:07.760 I know it when I see it.
00:08:09.060 You knew what it was.
00:08:10.020 It just didn't have a name yet.
00:08:12.060 It was just, you know, so they're just watching them try to destroy the country.
00:08:20.240 Well, you get someone like Trump in there.
00:08:21.820 Look, he's not perfect.
00:08:23.320 I think we could all agree on that one.
00:08:25.560 Who is?
00:08:26.600 Believe me.
00:08:27.160 Exactly.
00:08:28.400 But he seems to be trying to do what's best for the country,
00:08:33.960 not a little group here or this person or this soundbite,
00:08:37.820 and all they're doing is trying to put the brakes on him
00:08:41.280 and not let him do anything.
00:08:42.660 To the point where you're looking, like I was saying,
00:08:44.920 how do you look and go, can we get rid of the illegals
00:08:48.580 that have been pouring into this country for years now?
00:08:51.180 and then he tries to do it and he's the bad guy and and the illegals are the heroes right so
00:08:58.600 that's right so what does that tell you you made a great point uh trump america wants what trump
00:09:06.140 wants and vice versa uh but it upsets the left to no end so what does that tell you they don't like
00:09:13.060 this country they hate it and by trump showing up on the scene he has really shined the light
00:09:19.380 And it transcends politics now.
00:09:21.940 It's not about left, right, liberal, conservative.
00:09:24.200 It's about, you know, sane versus insane.
00:09:29.120 They are hard.
00:09:30.260 It's not hyperbole to call them Marxists.
00:09:33.500 They're hardcore Marxists.
00:09:35.620 And no wonder why they don't want to agree to anything, any Republican.
00:09:39.840 It used to be, I remember like when, even when Tip O'Neill was in office and Reagan,
00:09:47.180 And they would, you know, they would even back then, it was push and shove.
00:09:53.100 But I've never seen anything.
00:09:56.840 I mean, and Trump was right.
00:09:58.400 He could he could literally save a baby on a subway platform.
00:10:02.100 And they would they would say, you know, he touched her illegally.
00:10:05.420 It's creepy. It's creepy.
00:10:07.500 That Van Hollen jerk off.
00:10:09.440 Yeah, go ahead. Go down El Salvador.
00:10:12.260 Who cares if that guy who cares if he's a gang member or not?
00:10:17.180 He was here illegally, and we know he beats his wife.
00:10:21.180 Aren't those two things enough?
00:10:23.200 Right.
00:10:23.820 Isn't that enough?
00:10:25.200 But no, he's the hero.
00:10:27.360 Donald Trump's an awful person.
00:10:29.900 They are really insane, too.
00:10:33.100 The politicians, I have to believe they know what they're doing.
00:10:36.800 They're just trying to get their team to win.
00:10:38.560 The Democrats have only had one playbook for years now,
00:10:42.640 and they're playing the same play over and over again.
00:10:45.340 It's obviously not working.
00:10:46.640 But I can't believe they are as insane as their constituents are.
00:10:52.820 Well, I always, you know, people always talk about good and evil.
00:10:56.020 And I didn't I thought that was a little hyperbolic as far as politics go.
00:11:00.420 Not anymore. This is the first time I really go.
00:11:03.680 Oh, there really is. I mean, when you are defending doctors who have mutilated kids and getting in between parents and their kids
00:11:12.380 and encouraging people who came over here illegally that rape
00:11:16.840 and do all this stuff, that you're looking out for them instead of the victims.
00:11:21.000 I mean, that really is, I'm going, wait a minute, maybe it really is evil.
00:11:27.060 And I don't think that's, like, I'm not exaggerating to say that.
00:11:31.400 They're really dark.
00:11:32.740 They're like a death cult as far as abortion and all that other crap.
00:11:36.600 I'm not like a far righty, but when I talk about these a-holes,
00:11:40.460 You know, I sound like Billy Graham or whoever.
00:11:44.420 I can't even name one.
00:11:46.680 Or whoever.
00:11:48.120 But, of course, it's not Billy Graham.
00:11:49.600 It's the great Nick DiPaolo.
00:11:51.580 Nick, I – the great Nick DiPaolo, comedian extraordinaire, on with us.
00:11:58.480 And you got – are you playing?
00:12:00.540 I'd like to, you know, give you a little opportunity to plug a gig.
00:12:04.160 Absolutely.
00:12:04.920 This Friday night, I'm sort of in – well, I was going to say you're neck of the woods.
00:12:09.440 What am I saying?
00:12:10.460 You're down here, right?
00:12:11.420 I'm down here now.
00:12:12.300 We're all moving down here, Nick.
00:12:13.920 Well, I'll be in this Friday night coming.
00:12:17.180 I'll be at Coho's Musical, Coho's New York.
00:12:20.920 That's April 25th.
00:12:22.260 And then May 15th and 16th at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois, which is a beautiful.
00:12:28.420 I hate saying the name Zaney because the club is really beautiful.
00:12:31.360 I know.
00:12:31.780 The name is terrible.
00:12:33.380 I'm 63 years old.
00:12:34.480 Cash and a check for Zaney's.
00:12:36.500 It's got a microphone with a top hat on it.
00:12:38.600 i was just gonna ask you about that man because look i've known you for many years all the you
00:12:45.500 know of all the comics that used to come into the on a show you know you're just a pisser man
00:12:50.880 and i i just how it are you still enjoying your time out on the road um oh tremendously
00:13:00.200 oh my god you dude i'm like uh you know they should put me on the news and i i get on the
00:13:11.620 plane i have the ugly i get the first of all it's beautiful down here because the airport is 19
00:13:17.420 minutes for me oh yes i i get there in a straight shot anthony true story last time i flew out of
00:13:23.380 savannah last time i flew out of savannah i parked the car like in a lot that's kind of a little
00:13:27.840 far away and it's the same place and i walk i walk through like two parking garages through the
00:13:33.860 lobby up the escalator tsa all the way to my gate listen to this with nobody in front of me
00:13:41.480 it's fantastic right it's like it's like the 70s it's like the 70s they put you on a 707 with a
00:13:48.720 carving a carving station wheeled in front of your seat it really is i couldn't i it's just
00:13:57.820 And so I don't have a reason, you know, I have to go to Texas every month
00:14:01.720 because I do this thing with Steven Crowder on Lotto Crowder.
00:14:05.260 Yeah.
00:14:05.600 And he flies me.
00:14:07.360 So, I mean, it's first class.
00:14:10.640 It's always the same flight.
00:14:12.960 Like, I actually don't, that's how nice it is down here, like going to the airport.
00:14:19.440 And I do hate the flying because it's just a microcosm of our society.
00:14:26.860 It really is.
00:14:27.820 It's not like when I flew out of New York.
00:14:29.880 I would get a pit in my stomach knowing I had to go from Westchester County to LaGuardia,
00:14:34.480 not knowing if a truck was going to tip over, if there was construction.
00:14:38.480 I would have a knot in my stomach for two weeks, and then I'd get in there, and there's the baby.
00:14:43.620 The minute I get on the plane, there's a baby.
00:14:45.220 I swear to God, they're putting a cigarette out on a baby's foot just to kickstart them.
00:14:52.220 When I talked to you on the phone the other day, you were on the plane.
00:14:56.280 it sounded like they were torturing babies yeah there was a baby crying next to me which you know
00:15:02.840 it's it's what it is but i don't remember that back years ago maybe i'm just looking like every
00:15:09.740 other flight yeah and then even first class you know we like to we like to splurge a little nick
00:15:15.080 i'll tell you i've i've earned a few uh bucks in my day i decide to splurge a little but first
00:15:22.280 class is now steerage in the old days first class back when i was a kid i walked you didn't even
00:15:31.720 walk through the same door they had you walking behind first class and you try to look through
00:15:38.520 the curtain and it was just this magical land of food and drink and laughing it was like mad men
00:15:45.700 it was like the show mad men they're all up there sipping scotch and uh uh feeling up uh waitresses
00:15:52.100 hand jobs yeah it was fantastic now they've just cut everything down it sucks and and like you said
00:16:02.260 it's a microcosm could you imagine people behaving on planes years ago like they do now
00:16:09.680 they wore suits and ties and a god i know dora and the women were in dresses and the kids god
00:16:16.540 forbid they open their yap now it's a catastrophe every flight this is a part of the show where all
00:16:25.660 your your your fans are going to be uh you know in the comment section going or not even you know
00:16:31.980 not even our fans just people are too cranky old guys yeah yeah well good we are too cranky old
00:16:38.000 guys what am i trying to what am i trying to present myself as 28 years old looking for broads
00:16:43.700 Well, I don't know.
00:16:44.640 I'm in my 60s.
00:16:45.840 I'm cranky.
00:16:48.560 Judging your girlfriend.
00:16:49.640 I don't know.
00:16:50.080 You might be kind of pulling off.
00:16:51.300 Well, you know, again, I made a lot of money in my day.
00:16:56.760 Well, I'm not a pauper, but I got this leper in my house that makes me feel.
00:17:01.740 Oh, come on, honey.
00:17:02.980 She knows I'm kidding.
00:17:04.180 Come on, honey.
00:17:05.060 It's true, honey.
00:17:06.180 It's true.
00:17:06.560 I'm kidding.
00:17:07.360 Come on.
00:17:09.600 I'm like Tony Montana in the tub.
00:17:11.380 I was kidding.
00:17:12.580 I was kidding.
00:17:13.700 Give her a quail, she'll love it tomorrow.
00:17:17.420 Yeah, no, it's, yeah, so I picked my spots, Anthony.
00:17:21.300 Like, I couldn't, when I was a young comic, I would do like everybody else, 25, 30 weeks.
00:17:25.980 Because, you know, I wasn't married, you're chasing broads, and then they're having a good time.
00:17:30.240 And that was economy, flying economy, but I hated it.
00:17:34.160 It wears you down.
00:17:35.840 I heard Jerry Seinfeld on Tom Papa's show saying that.
00:17:39.400 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:39.940 He started talking about travel, and he's like, oh, that's retired, more comedian.
00:17:44.180 And it really is true.
00:17:45.580 It's the cliche they go, but it's true.
00:17:47.960 They pay us, us comedians.
00:17:50.020 They don't pay us to tell jokes on stage.
00:17:52.660 They're paying us to stand in line at the airport.
00:17:56.660 Lost luggage, broken relationships.
00:17:58.860 Some garbage room that stinks.
00:18:01.700 Yeah, yeah.
00:18:03.380 La Quinta Inn.
00:18:05.040 You go in there with Lomenal, and it looks like an episode of I.D.
00:18:09.780 It's like a Peter Max poster under a blacklight.
00:18:13.700 you know it's it's it's like go ahead sorry it's so funny because you got like a few stories you
00:18:22.540 know i i i hear norton and florentine and voss and they'll tell these stories but there's only
00:18:29.620 a few of them out of the thousands of times they've been out so you got to imagine you know
00:18:35.460 they aren't all this amazing funny we got some girls took them back to the hotel stories it's
00:18:41.440 mostly just boredom and a crap club and a crap crowd?
00:18:47.140 Well, I don't want to blow my own horn,
00:18:48.800 but I think if you went back and pictured me in my,
00:18:52.540 even my late 20s, early 30s compared to Norton and Voss,
00:18:55.900 I think I would have had a leg up on the broad situation.
00:19:00.740 You know I love both those guys to death.
00:19:05.940 Of course.
00:19:07.160 All their stories.
00:19:08.400 I say Norton, you look better.
00:19:10.500 I think Jimmy looks – he's aging good.
00:19:12.720 You know, I texted him the other day, and he's like,
00:19:15.220 oh, I look like – and I go, I said, I think you look better now.
00:19:19.000 And he goes, oh, you're a good friend.
00:19:21.240 You're a good friend.
00:19:22.560 Yeah, he'll look at that as an insult because he thought he looked better years ago.
00:19:27.240 So he thinks you're lying.
00:19:28.160 Yeah, I didn't mean that either.
00:19:29.200 I mean, he's heavier now, but he just – I mean, well, he –
00:19:32.300 Oh, jeez.
00:19:33.240 I guess he's not wearing an Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt, and he wears a jacket.
00:19:37.540 I don't know.
00:19:38.360 I think he looks good.
00:19:39.300 yeah that's great you know it's going to be clipped and sent to him he looks heavier now
00:19:43.800 that's the only that's the only thing that's going to be clipped and sent to him yeah but
00:19:48.480 i'm saying it looks good on him oh yeah yeah i thought he whatever he like you know whatever
00:19:54.900 hey with his lifestyle we all thought he'd be losing a lot of weight so so you know what are
00:20:01.100 you gonna do uh yeah i was worried about 20 years ago i thought he did maybe catch a germ
00:20:05.900 from a happy ending on 48th Street
00:20:09.480 put on the bathrobe
00:20:12.240 some chicken broth and a poodle next to him
00:20:14.400 and call it a night
00:20:15.720 you're going to stick around
00:20:18.240 we've got another break
00:20:19.120 I'd like to talk to you about a few more things
00:20:21.440 going on there Nick
00:20:22.100 we'll be right back
00:20:26.200 with the great Mr. Nick DiPaolo
00:20:28.220 after this
00:20:29.700 The Anthony Cumia Show
00:20:30.720 It's The Anthony Cumia Show
00:20:33.100 on the Red Apple Podcast Network
00:20:35.480 it's the anthony cumia show on the red apple podcast network
00:20:43.260 welcome back uh if you're uh listening on the amplitude modulation airwaves then you don't
00:20:53.480 have to worry about this but uh download the app download the app anyway it's uh over there on the
00:21:00.480 app store 77 wc app and uh then you can listen that's how this technology works we have nick
00:21:08.060 de paulo comedian good guy rational thinker some people might argue that point but nick de paulo
00:21:17.600 is with us depends how close the bacardi is
00:21:21.520 nick i i love talking with people about the old new york days at the the comedy cellar in new york
00:21:29.820 And, you know, because everyone loves bringing up that goddamn table, the table, the table.
00:21:37.000 And it's just it's become this legendary thing.
00:21:40.720 Whenever anyone brings up the old crowd of Colin Quinn and Patrice O'Neill and Greg Giraldo and all these guys and you, obviously.
00:21:49.520 and uh you know they think it's still a still a thing that comics would still sit in a club
00:21:56.940 at a table and talk like you guys did about what's going on in the world and just
00:22:01.300 but you guys took busting balls to a level no one could even deal with now they they go home and off
00:22:08.740 themselves uh what what is this you're out there you're in the clubs what does it look like these
00:22:15.140 days well first of all i have to take um the table was my idea i don't know if you know that
00:22:24.080 i heard that i've heard that yeah yeah i it's and this is how it happened i you know i was living in
00:22:31.020 la and uh i moved from la and this is how i know i had the eye of the tiger as they say
00:22:37.100 as like a younger comedian i flew home from la like the night i got back right i still have my
00:22:45.000 suitcase one of my suitcase in my hand um went home for a second dumped some stuff off went down
00:22:52.520 to the comedy cellar later on and i get down there and i had a set can you imagine i had i actually
00:22:58.900 was on the schedule that i'd arrived for about which i would wow i would i would never never
00:23:05.420 people who know me i wasn't like the fucking excuse me i wasn't ding ding ding dong there's one
00:23:13.140 But anyways, so, yeah, I get there, I get to the Comedy Cell, and I'm in the Olive Tree Cafe upstairs, and it's packed, and there's nowhere to sit.
00:23:22.540 And I knew Manny because I was playing the club before I moved to L.A., and I go, Manny, can't you reserve a table for the comedians?
00:23:32.420 I don't want to stand amongst the people that are going to come downstairs and heckle me or, you know.
00:23:37.380 And Manny was such a great guy.
00:23:39.680 I thought that would just bounce off him, right?
00:23:41.840 I come in the next night, there's a table, that table, with three signs on it that say reserved for comedians.
00:23:51.460 And in the first few weeks, man, he loved me, you know.
00:23:55.140 And for the first few weeks, customers were still trying to sit back, would have to kick them out, you know.
00:24:01.660 They would just ignore the signs and sit at the table and would have to go, you know.
00:24:06.620 Because it was my idea, I thought it had to be me who said, scram, get up.
00:24:10.700 Get you and your fat girl fanatic.
00:24:13.160 Yeah, God bless Manny for doing that.
00:24:16.660 And that's how it started.
00:24:18.360 And then, yeah, Patrice O'Neal, Geraldo.
00:24:21.940 I'm trying to remember some guys that are alive.
00:24:25.100 Yeah, right.
00:24:26.680 Norton, Voss, Bob Kelly.
00:24:30.520 Yeah, Bob Kelly and Voss and Colin.
00:24:33.340 And, yes, we would have at it in the way, you know,
00:24:37.220 and some nights it got ugly.
00:24:38.560 Like, Patrice and Geraldo got into it one night.
00:24:42.800 I think Geraldo was a little, you know, a little tipsy, if you could say.
00:24:47.420 He had a few in them.
00:24:49.000 And that Colombian came out and he had a few drinks.
00:24:51.620 And he was yelling.
00:24:54.080 Patrice wasn't even at the table yet.
00:24:55.860 Patrice was leaving and Geraldo sets up.
00:24:57.940 And they start yelling at each other.
00:24:59.640 And this isn't a packed restaurant with families and Patrice is effing this and that.
00:25:05.980 all this racial crap you know you know what it's like too it's it's just like when you watch a
00:25:15.060 scorsese mob movie and people go wow wow we're just busting balls it's all right we're just
00:25:20.320 possible whenever anyone says that someone's gonna die it's never just busting balls someone
00:25:26.980 is gonna take it way too far but that's what made it so funny man you're right and and some people
00:25:34.900 did die but it wasn't because of violence well no it was uh it was other it was other issues
00:25:40.240 hey nick could i could i could i cut you off real quick and could you stick around for one
00:25:45.420 more segment because we were got a pretty tight show here my friend all right all right we'll be
00:25:53.000 right back of course with the great nick de paulo i appreciate uh the time nick because you're uh
00:25:59.780 You're awesome, man.
00:26:01.060 Right after these quick words on the Anthony Cumia Show.
00:26:05.740 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.
00:26:13.120 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.
00:26:15.500 Entertaining and informative.
00:26:17.600 On the Red Apple Podcast Network.
00:26:20.480 Nick DiPaolo with us.
00:26:23.260 Remember the old days?
00:26:24.900 I remember the old days.
00:26:26.260 Oh, jeez.
00:26:27.820 Was that really?
00:26:29.140 Yep.
00:26:29.780 i was looking at acdc is that what they plan on the station well no that's just for us to hear
00:26:36.040 oh i knew yeah yeah yeah yeah i thought wabc made a real 180 that would be a hell of a change right
00:26:43.920 there they just started playing acdc you see they're on their i guess their final tour is that
00:26:50.420 it because i i saw some clips and it's like look some bands can just go on and on forever
00:26:58.540 ACDC's known for just being pretty hardcore, and, you know, it just, oof.
00:27:06.920 A Whole Lotta Rosie was my wedding song.
00:27:09.340 We lost three sets of grandparents trying to dance to them.
00:27:15.760 It's so funny that, yeah, you were playing ACDC because I have a guitar here,
00:27:21.100 and I was just learning chords today, you know, like a 15-year-old.
00:27:25.060 Are you are you are you trying that, you know, you get you get to a certain point in life and you decide to pick up a guitar?
00:27:34.740 Yeah, I'm hoping to make this circuit.
00:27:37.280 It's 63.
00:27:38.420 Yeah, I got a great name.
00:27:40.820 It's the band is osteoporosis.
00:27:43.120 And this is a new album called Bone Cancer.
00:27:48.400 we're throwing out uh free hurricanes to the first hundred people that show up at the door
00:27:55.180 it's a good way to keep your mind sharp it really i mean it's fun you know but i i get so frustrated
00:28:02.160 i'll think i'm you know getting a few licks down and then i'll i'll go on youtube and i'll see a
00:28:07.780 10 year old asian girl playing clapton better than clapton can play clapton and i don't know
00:28:15.060 I smashed my guitar in the alley behind my house.
00:28:18.320 Dude, I don't know what's real anymore and what is just because we have cameras.
00:28:24.020 Everyone can record stuff and they put it up there.
00:28:27.900 30 years ago was some nine-year-old playing Van Halen riffs.
00:28:34.800 I mean, like it doesn't make any sense.
00:28:38.500 either something really changed or we were unbelievably incompetent back then because
00:28:45.380 i picked up a keyboard at one point in my life i thought i was going to be able to
00:28:49.360 tickle the ivories and play a piano man and have girls swoon over me
00:28:54.220 needless to say that didn't pan out
00:28:58.940 the casio didn't work for you no the game was a little casio keyboard and i'm trying to like
00:29:06.140 sing us a song you're the piano man and i'm thinking you know i'm in uh you should have
00:29:12.280 picked up the guitar at 13 because by 15 you are king i saw my brother do it it pissed me off to
00:29:21.480 no end he would show up at a party i'm sitting there trying to you know do my jokes my little
00:29:27.340 jokes and joe starts playing songs and girls would you know believe me we all know this nick
00:29:34.820 a good musician beats comedian any time at a party any time one of my best bits was about that
00:29:44.200 remember the show behind the music and i'm not going to remember oh yeah you guys gonna have
00:29:48.240 to google it but they had that show behind the music on like mtv oh yeah yeah stories of bands
00:29:55.140 you never saw behind the laughs did you behind the comedy no me bringing back some girl with a
00:30:02.000 club foot she was like the the coat she worked in the coat room with the funny bone right
00:30:07.040 in grand rapids she had a hair lip you know they're talking about i remember uh on that vh1
00:30:17.360 uh i don't know if it was the stones somebody said i woke up and um there was a needle hanging
00:30:23.800 out of me arm it was like mickey six or something i put that on my act of book comedian would say
00:30:31.380 that i woke up there was a needle hanging on apparently i rolled over on the sewing kit
00:30:35.900 until i came to end i had about eight analogies if i only i don't know where that bit is if
00:30:44.120 somebody can find that your fans can look it up it was one of my favorite bits and it would still
00:30:48.760 work today because you're right the ai stuff here's what kills me like you said you don't
00:30:53.860 know what's real or not the the animal stuff i'm gonna borrow looking up watching jive tv or
00:30:58.940 clive whatever it is and and the it's the animal stuff that makes me crazy there was a there's a
00:31:04.560 clip of a deer running in front of a car the guy stops the car right the guy gets out the deer
00:31:10.960 leads him into the woods to another deer that was wounded and i go that never happened i look at a
00:31:18.460 strange and actually i go that never happened i try to write a bit on that too i go you know
00:31:24.380 some of them are believable somebody picks up a bird that was hurt whatever i go but you know
00:31:28.920 yesterday i saw one it was a great white shark helping an old lady across the street i go that's
00:31:33.900 it that's that's gotta be ai right right it looks real though i don't know it's
00:31:39.220 yeah you know what the you know what it is also with uh like going to going to those parties
00:31:45.300 years ago and and like i said my brother would be there a musician anyone can accidentally be
00:31:51.640 funny like you could have a guy uh at a party and he might say something it's funny and people
00:31:58.580 look at him and go oh that's funny you don't accidentally pick up a guitar and play a led
00:32:04.160 zeppelin riff right you know you just you have to be good you have to have that talent and girls
00:32:11.480 will gravitate toward that
00:32:13.340 so much faster. I don't care what they say.
00:32:15.540 What's the most important thing? A sense
00:32:17.500 of humor, I think, is
00:32:19.500 mostly... Yeah, sure.
00:32:21.060 I was funny while I had zits
00:32:23.300 on my face and
00:32:24.600 I'd finish
00:32:27.580 up a little premature.
00:32:29.240 Yeah, but...
00:32:31.500 What do you find important?
00:32:34.720 Well, a big dong and he's got to
00:32:36.840 be able to play the less Paul
00:32:38.840 he's got to do, you know.
00:32:40.920 three songs off the
00:32:42.740 Black Sabbath's first album
00:32:46.000 and he might get the first
00:32:47.640 you're right, it's the comedy
00:32:49.840 thing, that's the part
00:32:51.940 what's tough about stand-up though
00:32:53.480 because people, because of
00:32:55.780 what you just said, almost
00:32:57.600 everybody has made their friends laugh at a
00:32:59.720 party, but what that does
00:33:01.860 Anthony, what that does is make
00:33:03.300 them think that they're comedians
00:33:05.900 yeah, yeah
00:33:07.180 making your friends laugh at a party
00:33:09.260 and going on stage and converting that to strangers is a whole different ballgame.
00:33:17.500 But everybody has made somebody laugh, which makes everybody an expert on comedy, you know?
00:33:23.140 And you can be very unfunny and get away with it.
00:33:27.520 I mean, a lot of people don't know the difference between a Bill Hicks and a, you know,
00:33:32.340 I always say Carrot Topp, but I like him.
00:33:34.420 I don't want to pick on Carrot Topp.
00:33:35.740 No, he's actually done very well for himself,
00:33:37.920 and he's always gotten good reviews, that son of a bitch.
00:33:41.120 Yeah.
00:33:42.660 Tell me about it.
00:33:44.720 You know how depressing it is?
00:33:46.300 I play Vegas, and I'm walking down the hall to my room,
00:33:49.440 and all the Do Not Disturb signs have carrot tops
00:33:52.760 to add to him at the MGM Grand.
00:33:54.300 Yeah, his face.
00:33:55.900 And I'm playing Tom's Lounge.
00:33:57.660 Yeah, yeah.
00:33:58.500 It's a zebra hut.
00:34:00.000 Yeah, people can fake it at a party, one line.
00:34:04.020 Your friends are funny.
00:34:05.000 And then I guess back, it had to be back in the early 80s when that comedy boom happened, where everyone thought they were a comic.
00:34:13.040 I think that was part of it.
00:34:15.060 A lot of those open micers started out with, hey, you know, I crack my family up at around Easter.
00:34:22.480 You know, everyone's laughing.
00:34:23.860 And they bought it.
00:34:25.760 And there were all these comedy shows that were out.
00:34:28.540 Oh, yeah.
00:34:29.740 Evening at the Improv and the.
00:34:32.980 Caroline's Comedy Hour.
00:34:34.140 Carol Lentz Comedy Hour, and they were, for the most part, terrible.
00:34:38.520 You'd get one guy on there that might make you laugh,
00:34:41.500 and then it hit that wall, finally, thank God.
00:34:45.440 It hit a wall where people are like,
00:34:47.240 yeah, we're waiting for the cream to float to the top.
00:34:51.060 And it happened.
00:34:52.060 That's what I've been saying is that's how I feel about podcasts right now.
00:34:56.380 There are too many podcasters and podcasts
00:35:00.180 because everyone could go to Best Buy and get a podcast play kit
00:35:04.820 and set it up, and now they're a podcaster.
00:35:07.820 But they don't know what the hell to do once they turn the mic on.
00:35:12.020 I think we're in that same thing with podcasting
00:35:14.920 that we were in comedy in the 80s.
00:35:16.980 Well, yeah, and comedy's getting saturated again now, too.
00:35:20.180 Oh, God.
00:35:20.960 I'm glad you brought up podcasts.
00:35:22.620 This is how bad I am at marketing myself.
00:35:25.020 Yeah, come on, Nick.
00:35:26.060 I have a podcast Monday through Monday.
00:35:27.720 Nick DiPaolo, everybody.
00:35:29.380 Where can we hear you, Nick?
00:35:33.000 Monday through Thursday, 5 p.m. Eastern on Rumble.
00:35:37.160 And if you guys don't know who Rumble is,
00:35:38.960 Rumble is putting YouTube out of business.
00:35:41.800 Rumble's the naughty, naughty, naughty version.
00:35:44.620 The naughty version of YouTube.
00:35:47.380 Yeah.
00:35:49.780 I can go wild on Rumble.
00:35:52.440 And, you know, it's God bless the guy that runs it,
00:35:56.520 uh chris pavlovsky whatever his name is but he's uh you know he's like the only thing that stands
00:36:02.820 between us and um total censorship you know it's it's so rough these days man like i you know i do
00:36:10.760 my show my internet show and uh it's just there's nothing i can't say because it's subscription
00:36:18.100 based it's private it's that but everything else i put stuff up on youtube i gotta be real careful
00:36:24.080 And now, this is FCC, Nick DiPaolo.
00:36:28.560 The FCC's watching and listening right now to make sure Anthony Cumia doesn't screw up again.
00:36:36.180 Yeah, well, if you're listening, leave him alone.
00:36:39.860 Yeah, thank you.
00:36:41.220 Leave the guy alone.
00:36:42.300 He's making an honest living.
00:36:43.580 The guy used to put up duct work, okay?
00:36:45.680 I put in air conditioning and heating ducts.
00:36:48.020 For the love of God, I was able to talk and get a few people to listen.
00:36:52.140 Can you just leave me alone?
00:36:53.880 That's all I'm asking.
00:36:55.260 Leave me alone.
00:36:56.220 This guy's going to have stage four lung cancer in about three minutes.
00:36:58.960 Let him have his fun.
00:37:00.300 Breathing in asbestos.
00:37:02.340 You didn't call me, Tony.
00:37:04.300 You didn't call me.
00:37:06.040 You did construction.
00:37:07.480 Yeah, yeah.
00:37:08.000 We all did.
00:37:08.540 I did all that stuff.
00:37:09.400 My uncle had me up in an attic.
00:37:11.040 You know, this is 1976.
00:37:12.880 Oh, God.
00:37:13.360 Yeah, get in there and clean out that.
00:37:15.000 What is it?
00:37:15.500 I don't know.
00:37:15.920 It's like some type of chemical dump.
00:37:18.060 Make believe it's cotton candy.
00:37:19.860 Eat it.
00:37:20.280 Go ahead.
00:37:20.680 Have fun, kid.
00:37:21.720 Yeah, put on a Red Sox hat.
00:37:23.160 Put a paper towel in front of your face.
00:37:27.700 Knock yourself out, kid.
00:37:30.560 Hold this rag over your mouth.
00:37:32.440 Yeah, you'll be fine.
00:37:33.520 You'll be fine.
00:37:34.440 30 years later, you're coughing up blood.
00:37:38.620 Nick, you are a gem.
00:37:41.520 I love having you on.
00:37:43.240 I want to do this more, of course.
00:37:45.360 And we live way too close together to not show up live on each other's show.
00:37:50.240 I always think about that.
00:37:52.060 And it bothers me a little bit that I go, no, he's just like me.
00:37:56.340 You know what?
00:37:57.660 How far are you from me?
00:37:59.460 Two?
00:37:59.860 Two hours?
00:38:00.780 I'll wave.
00:38:01.480 Look, look out your window.
00:38:02.760 Here I am.
00:38:03.300 I'm waving.
00:38:03.800 Is that you?
00:38:05.740 Oh, yeah.
00:38:06.620 You got the Make America Great Again hat.
00:38:09.100 I'm not that far, dude.
00:38:11.720 I'm really not ever.
00:38:12.560 Probably two hours.
00:38:14.040 Two hours.
00:38:14.600 No, two hours.
00:38:15.360 But I go, he's just like me.
00:38:18.820 You know, he don't want to get me.
00:38:21.160 No.
00:38:21.420 As much as I want to see Anthony, wait, I don't know.
00:38:24.880 We're getting a car, drive, what are you, crazy?
00:38:27.720 I got to go outside?
00:38:29.080 I got to open my door?
00:38:30.260 I got to dress?
00:38:33.120 Dude, I shower once every 11 days now, I swear to God.
00:38:37.780 I swear to God.
00:38:38.660 I think I got you beat.
00:38:40.860 You know how girls are doing this thing called fabbing?
00:38:44.980 I don't know if you've read this.
00:38:46.240 I don't know, look at you, keeping tabs on all the teen magazines.
00:38:49.900 Oh, God, yes.
00:38:51.140 I have a middle school up the street.
00:38:54.940 What is fabbing?
00:38:57.280 They touch themselves down there, the girls,
00:39:00.240 and then they put it behind their ears.
00:39:03.040 Are you kidding me?
00:39:04.020 Like perfume?
00:39:05.240 Yes.
00:39:06.200 So apparently I tried it, and ass sweat doesn't work as good.
00:39:10.600 No, no.
00:39:11.180 I put some ass sweat on my wrist.
00:39:16.900 Not quite Fabergé.
00:39:19.340 he goes the funniest part is he said you put it on your wrist
00:39:24.020 like maybe in the 40s they did which is even funnier
00:39:29.720 but nick uh i love you bro well yeah uh let's you know dude i know how it is when you first get back
00:39:37.760 yeah no show and you know scrambling or whatever but tell the people this friday night to come see
00:39:44.140 at the Coho's Music Hall, and then May 15th and 16th
00:39:49.040 at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois, and listen to my podcast.
00:39:52.740 It's only 40 minutes.
00:39:54.300 It's rough and tumble.
00:39:55.700 I say what I want, and that's on Rumble,
00:40:00.080 the Nick DiPaolo Show, 5 p.m. Eastern, Monday through Thursday.
00:40:04.860 DiPaolo.
00:40:05.540 Yeah, baby.
00:40:06.560 I love it, Nick.
00:40:07.380 Thanks so much for coming on, man.
00:40:08.900 Thank you, Nick, for bringing Anthony back.
00:40:10.460 Thank you.
00:40:11.260 Yes, thank you for noticing that.
00:40:13.500 Some people, you know, they still keep their mouths shut.
00:40:16.520 They never talk to me again, these bastards.
00:40:19.160 Nick, thanks so much, man.
00:40:21.000 I'll see you soon.
00:40:22.580 Hopefully I'll drive the 15 minutes to your house.
00:40:25.920 All right.
00:40:26.380 Let's eat at a Waffle House halfway in between.
00:40:29.080 Yeah, let's do that.
00:40:30.180 The great Nick DiPaolo.
00:40:31.220 We'll be right back after these words.
00:40:34.420 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.
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