The Anthony Cumia Show - April 21, 2025


Nick Di Paolo | 04-20-25


Episode Stats


Length

41 minutes

Words per minute

164.88

Word count

6,872

Sentence count

433

Harmful content

Misogyny

18

sentences flagged

Toxicity

68

sentences flagged

Hate speech

34

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of the Red Apple Podcast Network's Anthony Cumia Show, Nick Dapallo joins me to talk about his time on the Opie and Anthony Show, why he left New York City, and much, much more!

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
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00:01:00.680 It's the Anthony
00:01:01.940 Cumia Show. Entertaining
00:01:03.620 and informative. On the Red Apple
00:01:05.900 Podcast Network.
00:01:08.880 That it is.
00:01:10.380 Anthony Cumia Show
00:01:11.380 on a fine Sunday evening
00:01:13.880 and
00:01:14.960 oh boy, let me tell you.
00:01:18.380 I've known this guy for
00:01:19.800 many, many years. Just a
00:01:21.820 great comic. Used to come on the Opie and Anthony
00:01:23.720 show all the time and uh people liked a couple of us italians just waxing fantastic about the good
00:01:31.320 old days and the the crap that's going on uh in our country and the world right now he has his
00:01:38.640 own show which i'm sure he'll tell you about better than i ever could mr nick d'apallo nick
00:01:43.680 how are you my friend uh very good anthony very good uh first of all i want to give a shout out
00:01:49.840 to wabc radio for having the gonads the testicles the fortitude uh to put anthony cumia on the air
00:01:58.120 where he belongs um somebody over there has good taste and like i said huge brass ones 0.86
00:02:03.880 isn't that it's insane yeah after everything that's happened it's like all right i'll come
00:02:09.920 back to the broadcast airwaves i like the idea of the fcc breathing down my neck it wasn't it
00:02:17.420 wasn't enough to have every podcaster and woke uh jack off or anything else uh uh trying to get 0.74
00:02:24.500 me fired or killed yeah let me let me get the government back on me again like it was back in
00:02:29.520 the early 2000s you gotta hand it to whoever that i've never maybe i know the guy because i did have
00:02:35.600 do a stint with wabc i think i did i don't know yeah i'm like you i've been fired and uh whatever
00:02:41.340 but i would like to know the guy that pulled the trigger on the show and i say he should uh you 0.97
00:02:46.520 know run for a governor in new york replace that sloppy bitch oh my god governor mayor anyone in 0.98
00:02:54.340 new york senators congress people it's you know nick you abandoned new york just like i did 0.98
00:03:02.400 yeah and we had friends and family up there and and it's you know it's tough to just move because
00:03:08.600 you get used to where you are you kind of fall into a habit it got so bad that we we left and 0.97
00:03:17.380 it has to be because so many people there keep voting for the same imbeciles and and they'll 0.99
00:03:25.920 get rid of one and think well now it's going to get better and vote in the same virtually the same 1.00
00:03:30.880 person and we've seen this happen so many times with the mayor adams uh governor uh cuomo and
00:03:39.440 then you got hokul and and the collects chuck schumer the whole collection of them just seem
00:03:46.940 to be dedicated to screwing that state up well i i have a theory about that and not just new york
00:03:54.660 A lot of big blue cities that are going in the toilet.
00:03:58.580 Big blue cities.
00:04:00.740 They needed the money.
00:04:03.860 Oh, that would be great.
00:04:08.560 Dice talking about the farm bill on the Senate floor.
00:04:13.220 Why aren't you paying these farmers?
00:04:16.060 They're out there picking corn or something. 0.96
00:04:19.100 Give them some money.
00:04:21.020 Oh.
00:04:24.660 The like the attorney generals, I know some in some some states, the attorney generals are elected, some they're appointed.
00:04:34.580 But my point is, even like New York City, I really believe those people I'd voted in.
00:04:39.680 I believe, look, if they could fix the presidential election, which they did, by the way, in 2020, I really believe it's rigged in New York. 0.98
00:04:48.620 and other because even new yorkers as liberal as they are um they they're not that stupid 0.99
00:04:55.500 they i i i i mean i hope i'm right that they would vote in the same liberal scum that 1.00
00:05:01.520 that every eight years destroyed their city i really believe it has to be rigged from the inside 0.74
00:05:07.600 um either that or it's really sad that they're i don't know new york is more credit i don't think 0.98
00:05:14.160 to that stupid but like chicago yeah let's replace we're gonna get rid of laurie lifewood 0.97
00:05:20.160 and replace her with somebody 40 feet to the left of her what the every time you just see these 1.00
00:05:29.400 cities like yeah of course uh new york chicago atlanta uh then smaller ones like baltimore
00:05:37.620 Oh, what about Oakland?
00:05:40.700 Oakland just elected a new mayor, Oakland, because the last mayor was corrupt, stealing money, all kinds.
00:05:50.040 And Oakland's just been a disaster.
00:05:52.360 People are leaving.
00:05:53.340 Businesses are leaving in droves.
00:05:54.920 You can't find one open fast food restaurant. 1.00
00:05:57.360 They boarded these things up and left like Martians were attacking. 1.00
00:06:02.480 They would not stick. 0.99
00:06:03.420 And then they just elected this woman that, like you said, a mile to the left of the last guy that was in there.
00:06:11.020 Nothing will get done.
00:06:12.940 And New York had a chance.
00:06:15.260 You know, anybody but a Democrat like Adams, Adams, by the way, now is just playing off of the fact that Trump and his Justice Department got him off the hook.
00:06:26.700 So he's got to be a good boy.
00:06:27.840 And then, but Hochul, like you could have had Zeldin, Lee Zeldin, and they just vote in this woman that she's terrible for the state. 0.96
00:06:41.460 She didn't even get voted in. 1.00
00:06:43.260 No, no.
00:06:44.800 Nobody voted for her.
00:06:46.360 She got dragged into this.
00:06:48.000 Where were they hiding that wildebeest?
00:06:50.460 You know what I mean?
00:06:52.000 Did you ever hear her before she became a judge? 0.99
00:06:55.220 I don't know where they find these people.
00:06:57.840 No one hears of the lieutenant governor.
00:07:01.440 They don't know who it is. 0.92
00:07:02.500 And then Cuomo tries to say, hey, I'm Italian, so I'll molest people at weddings.
00:07:07.840 He thought that one would work.
00:07:09.940 They throw him out.
00:07:11.440 He pretty much offed a thousand elderly in old folks homes during COVID.
00:07:18.380 And now he wants to run for mayor of New York.
00:07:23.040 But, yeah, Hochul gets in there.
00:07:24.720 And then when she went through Cuomo's term, they gave us a chance in New York.
00:07:32.000 You want Lee Zeldin?
00:07:33.360 Here's a Republican.
00:07:34.480 It's something different.
00:07:35.660 Maybe try it.
00:07:37.360 Boom. 0.85
00:07:38.040 They just go for the Democrat every time. 0.99
00:07:41.080 And we're screwed. 0.96
00:07:43.020 And it got me to leave. 0.98
00:07:45.040 I picked up and left.
00:07:47.260 Yeah, well, I always dreamed of heading south.
00:07:51.740 And my politics always fit down here.
00:07:54.720 I mean, I was being called a redneck in seventh grade for crying out loud before I even knew what it was.
00:08:00.160 I didn't know I didn't like liberals.
00:08:02.240 I didn't even know what a liberal was when I was 14, but I knew one when I met one. 0.95
00:08:06.700 It was like pornography.
00:08:07.760 I know it when I see it.
00:08:09.060 You knew what it was.
00:08:10.020 It just didn't have a name yet.
00:08:12.060 It was just, you know, so they're just watching them try to destroy the country.
00:08:20.240 Well, you get someone like Trump in there.
00:08:21.820 Look, he's not perfect.
00:08:23.320 I think we could all agree on that one.
00:08:25.560 Who is?
00:08:26.600 Believe me.
00:08:27.160 Exactly.
00:08:28.400 But he seems to be trying to do what's best for the country,
00:08:33.960 not a little group here or this person or this soundbite,
00:08:37.820 and all they're doing is trying to put the brakes on him
00:08:41.280 and not let him do anything.
00:08:42.660 To the point where you're looking, like I was saying, 0.96
00:08:44.920 how do you look and go, can we get rid of the illegals 1.00
00:08:48.580 that have been pouring into this country for years now? 0.85
00:08:51.180 and then he tries to do it and he's the bad guy and and the illegals are the heroes right so
00:08:58.600 that's right so what does that tell you you made a great point uh trump america wants what trump
00:09:06.140 wants and vice versa uh but it upsets the left to no end so what does that tell you they don't like
00:09:13.060 this country they hate it and by trump showing up on the scene he has really shined the light
00:09:19.380 And it transcends politics now.
00:09:21.940 It's not about left, right, liberal, conservative.
00:09:24.200 It's about, you know, sane versus insane.
00:09:29.120 They are hard.
00:09:30.260 It's not hyperbole to call them Marxists.
00:09:33.500 They're hardcore Marxists.
00:09:35.620 And no wonder why they don't want to agree to anything, any Republican.
00:09:39.840 It used to be, I remember like when, even when Tip O'Neill was in office and Reagan,
00:09:47.180 And they would, you know, they would even back then, it was push and shove.
00:09:53.100 But I've never seen anything.
00:09:56.840 I mean, and Trump was right.
00:09:58.400 He could he could literally save a baby on a subway platform.
00:10:02.100 And they would they would say, you know, he touched her illegally.
00:10:05.420 It's creepy. It's creepy.
00:10:07.500 That Van Hollen jerk off. 0.99
00:10:09.440 Yeah, go ahead. Go down El Salvador. 1.00
00:10:12.260 Who cares if that guy who cares if he's a gang member or not? 1.00
00:10:17.180 He was here illegally, and we know he beats his wife. 0.99
00:10:21.180 Aren't those two things enough? 1.00
00:10:23.200 Right.
00:10:23.820 Isn't that enough?
00:10:25.200 But no, he's the hero. 1.00
00:10:27.360 Donald Trump's an awful person. 1.00
00:10:29.900 They are really insane, too. 1.00
00:10:33.100 The politicians, I have to believe they know what they're doing. 0.96
00:10:36.800 They're just trying to get their team to win.
00:10:38.560 The Democrats have only had one playbook for years now,
00:10:42.640 and they're playing the same play over and over again.
00:10:45.340 It's obviously not working. 0.99
00:10:46.640 But I can't believe they are as insane as their constituents are. 0.69
00:10:52.820 Well, I always, you know, people always talk about good and evil. 0.92
00:10:56.020 And I didn't I thought that was a little hyperbolic as far as politics go.
00:11:00.420 Not anymore. This is the first time I really go.
00:11:03.680 Oh, there really is. I mean, when you are defending doctors who have mutilated kids and getting in between parents and their kids
00:11:12.380 and encouraging people who came over here illegally that rape
00:11:16.840 and do all this stuff, that you're looking out for them instead of the victims.
00:11:21.000 I mean, that really is, I'm going, wait a minute, maybe it really is evil.
00:11:27.060 And I don't think that's, like, I'm not exaggerating to say that.
00:11:31.400 They're really dark. 0.99
00:11:32.740 They're like a death cult as far as abortion and all that other crap. 1.00
00:11:36.600 I'm not like a far righty, but when I talk about these a-holes, 0.99
00:11:40.460 You know, I sound like Billy Graham or whoever. 1.00
00:11:44.420 I can't even name one.
00:11:46.680 Or whoever.
00:11:48.120 But, of course, it's not Billy Graham.
00:11:49.600 It's the great Nick DiPaolo.
00:11:51.580 Nick, I – the great Nick DiPaolo, comedian extraordinaire, on with us.
00:11:58.480 And you got – are you playing?
00:12:00.540 I'd like to, you know, give you a little opportunity to plug a gig.
00:12:04.160 Absolutely.
00:12:04.920 This Friday night, I'm sort of in – well, I was going to say you're neck of the woods.
00:12:09.440 What am I saying?
00:12:10.460 You're down here, right?
00:12:11.420 I'm down here now.
00:12:12.300 We're all moving down here, Nick.
00:12:13.920 Well, I'll be in this Friday night coming.
00:12:17.180 I'll be at Coho's Musical, Coho's New York.
00:12:20.920 That's April 25th.
00:12:22.260 And then May 15th and 16th at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois, which is a beautiful.
00:12:28.420 I hate saying the name Zaney because the club is really beautiful.
00:12:31.360 I know.
00:12:31.780 The name is terrible.
00:12:33.380 I'm 63 years old.
00:12:34.480 Cash and a check for Zaney's. 0.69
00:12:36.500 It's got a microphone with a top hat on it.
00:12:38.600 i was just gonna ask you about that man because look i've known you for many years all the you 0.92
00:12:45.500 know of all the comics that used to come into the on a show you know you're just a pisser man
00:12:50.880 and i i just how it are you still enjoying your time out on the road um oh tremendously
00:13:00.200 oh my god you dude i'm like uh you know they should put me on the news and i i get on the
00:13:11.620 plane i have the ugly i get the first of all it's beautiful down here because the airport is 19
00:13:17.420 minutes for me oh yes i i get there in a straight shot anthony true story last time i flew out of
00:13:23.380 savannah last time i flew out of savannah i parked the car like in a lot that's kind of a little
00:13:27.840 far away and it's the same place and i walk i walk through like two parking garages through the
00:13:33.860 lobby up the escalator tsa all the way to my gate listen to this with nobody in front of me
00:13:41.480 it's fantastic right it's like it's like the 70s it's like the 70s they put you on a 707 with a
00:13:48.720 carving a carving station wheeled in front of your seat it really is i couldn't i it's just
00:13:57.820 And so I don't have a reason, you know, I have to go to Texas every month
00:14:01.720 because I do this thing with Steven Crowder on Lotto Crowder.
00:14:05.260 Yeah.
00:14:05.600 And he flies me.
00:14:07.360 So, I mean, it's first class.
00:14:10.640 It's always the same flight.
00:14:12.960 Like, I actually don't, that's how nice it is down here, like going to the airport.
00:14:19.440 And I do hate the flying because it's just a microcosm of our society.
00:14:26.860 It really is.
00:14:27.820 It's not like when I flew out of New York.
00:14:29.880 I would get a pit in my stomach knowing I had to go from Westchester County to LaGuardia,
00:14:34.480 not knowing if a truck was going to tip over, if there was construction.
00:14:38.480 I would have a knot in my stomach for two weeks, and then I'd get in there, and there's the baby.
00:14:43.620 The minute I get on the plane, there's a baby.
00:14:45.220 I swear to God, they're putting a cigarette out on a baby's foot just to kickstart them.
00:14:52.220 When I talked to you on the phone the other day, you were on the plane.
00:14:56.280 it sounded like they were torturing babies yeah there was a baby crying next to me which you know
00:15:02.840 it's it's what it is but i don't remember that back years ago maybe i'm just looking like every
00:15:09.740 other flight yeah and then even first class you know we like to we like to splurge a little nick
00:15:15.080 i'll tell you i've i've earned a few uh bucks in my day i decide to splurge a little but first
00:15:22.280 class is now steerage in the old days first class back when i was a kid i walked you didn't even
00:15:31.720 walk through the same door they had you walking behind first class and you try to look through
00:15:38.520 the curtain and it was just this magical land of food and drink and laughing it was like mad men
00:15:45.700 it was like the show mad men they're all up there sipping scotch and uh uh feeling up uh waitresses 0.93
00:15:52.100 hand jobs yeah it was fantastic now they've just cut everything down it sucks and and like you said
00:16:02.260 it's a microcosm could you imagine people behaving on planes years ago like they do now
00:16:09.680 they wore suits and ties and a god i know dora and the women were in dresses and the kids god
00:16:16.540 forbid they open their yap now it's a catastrophe every flight this is a part of the show where all
00:16:25.660 your your your fans are going to be uh you know in the comment section going or not even you know
00:16:31.980 not even our fans just people are too cranky old guys yeah yeah well good we are too cranky old 0.79
00:16:38.000 guys what am i trying to what am i trying to present myself as 28 years old looking for broads
00:16:43.700 Well, I don't know.
00:16:44.640 I'm in my 60s.
00:16:45.840 I'm cranky.
00:16:48.560 Judging your girlfriend.
00:16:49.640 I don't know.
00:16:50.080 You might be kind of pulling off.
00:16:51.300 Well, you know, again, I made a lot of money in my day.
00:16:56.760 Well, I'm not a pauper, but I got this leper in my house that makes me feel.
00:17:01.740 Oh, come on, honey.
00:17:02.980 She knows I'm kidding.
00:17:04.180 Come on, honey.
00:17:05.060 It's true, honey.
00:17:06.180 It's true.
00:17:06.560 I'm kidding.
00:17:07.360 Come on.
00:17:09.600 I'm like Tony Montana in the tub.
00:17:11.380 I was kidding.
00:17:12.580 I was kidding. 0.60
00:17:13.700 Give her a quail, she'll love it tomorrow.
00:17:17.420 Yeah, no, it's, yeah, so I picked my spots, Anthony.
00:17:21.300 Like, I couldn't, when I was a young comic, I would do like everybody else, 25, 30 weeks. 0.76
00:17:25.980 Because, you know, I wasn't married, you're chasing broads, and then they're having a good time. 0.85
00:17:30.240 And that was economy, flying economy, but I hated it.
00:17:34.160 It wears you down.
00:17:35.840 I heard Jerry Seinfeld on Tom Papa's show saying that.
00:17:39.400 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:39.940 He started talking about travel, and he's like, oh, that's retired, more comedian.
00:17:44.180 And it really is true.
00:17:45.580 It's the cliche they go, but it's true.
00:17:47.960 They pay us, us comedians.
00:17:50.020 They don't pay us to tell jokes on stage.
00:17:52.660 They're paying us to stand in line at the airport.
00:17:56.660 Lost luggage, broken relationships. 0.99
00:17:58.860 Some garbage room that stinks. 0.98
00:18:01.700 Yeah, yeah. 0.97
00:18:03.380 La Quinta Inn.
00:18:05.040 You go in there with Lomenal, and it looks like an episode of I.D.
00:18:09.780 It's like a Peter Max poster under a blacklight.
00:18:13.700 you know it's it's it's like go ahead sorry it's so funny because you got like a few stories you
00:18:22.540 know i i i hear norton and florentine and voss and they'll tell these stories but there's only
00:18:29.620 a few of them out of the thousands of times they've been out so you got to imagine you know
00:18:35.460 they aren't all this amazing funny we got some girls took them back to the hotel stories it's 0.96
00:18:41.440 mostly just boredom and a crap club and a crap crowd? 0.94
00:18:47.140 Well, I don't want to blow my own horn, 0.98
00:18:48.800 but I think if you went back and pictured me in my,
00:18:52.540 even my late 20s, early 30s compared to Norton and Voss,
00:18:55.900 I think I would have had a leg up on the broad situation.
00:19:00.740 You know I love both those guys to death.
00:19:05.940 Of course.
00:19:07.160 All their stories.
00:19:08.400 I say Norton, you look better.
00:19:10.500 I think Jimmy looks – he's aging good.
00:19:12.720 You know, I texted him the other day, and he's like,
00:19:15.220 oh, I look like – and I go, I said, I think you look better now.
00:19:19.000 And he goes, oh, you're a good friend.
00:19:21.240 You're a good friend.
00:19:22.560 Yeah, he'll look at that as an insult because he thought he looked better years ago.
00:19:27.240 So he thinks you're lying.
00:19:28.160 Yeah, I didn't mean that either.
00:19:29.200 I mean, he's heavier now, but he just – I mean, well, he –
00:19:32.300 Oh, jeez.
00:19:33.240 I guess he's not wearing an Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt, and he wears a jacket.
00:19:37.540 I don't know.
00:19:38.360 I think he looks good.
00:19:39.300 yeah that's great you know it's going to be clipped and sent to him he looks heavier now
00:19:43.800 that's the only that's the only thing that's going to be clipped and sent to him yeah but
00:19:48.480 i'm saying it looks good on him oh yeah yeah i thought he whatever he like you know whatever
00:19:54.900 hey with his lifestyle we all thought he'd be losing a lot of weight so so you know what are
00:20:01.100 you gonna do uh yeah i was worried about 20 years ago i thought he did maybe catch a germ
00:20:05.900 from a happy ending on 48th Street
00:20:09.480 put on the bathrobe
00:20:12.240 some chicken broth and a poodle next to him
00:20:14.400 and call it a night
00:20:15.720 you're going to stick around
00:20:18.240 we've got another break
00:20:19.120 I'd like to talk to you about a few more things
00:20:21.440 going on there Nick
00:20:22.100 we'll be right back
00:20:26.200 with the great Mr. Nick DiPaolo
00:20:28.220 after this
00:20:29.700 The Anthony Cumia Show
00:20:30.720 It's The Anthony Cumia Show
00:20:33.100 on the Red Apple Podcast Network
00:20:35.480 it's the anthony cumia show on the red apple podcast network
00:20:43.260 welcome back uh if you're uh listening on the amplitude modulation airwaves then you don't
00:20:53.480 have to worry about this but uh download the app download the app anyway it's uh over there on the
00:21:00.480 app store 77 wc app and uh then you can listen that's how this technology works we have nick
00:21:08.060 de paulo comedian good guy rational thinker some people might argue that point but nick de paulo
00:21:17.600 is with us depends how close the bacardi is
00:21:21.520 nick i i love talking with people about the old new york days at the the comedy cellar in new york 0.99
00:21:29.820 And, you know, because everyone loves bringing up that goddamn table, the table, the table. 0.89
00:21:37.000 And it's just it's become this legendary thing. 0.98
00:21:40.720 Whenever anyone brings up the old crowd of Colin Quinn and Patrice O'Neill and Greg Giraldo and all these guys and you, obviously.
00:21:49.520 and uh you know they think it's still a still a thing that comics would still sit in a club
00:21:56.940 at a table and talk like you guys did about what's going on in the world and just
00:22:01.300 but you guys took busting balls to a level no one could even deal with now they they go home and off
00:22:08.740 themselves uh what what is this you're out there you're in the clubs what does it look like these 0.96
00:22:15.140 days well first of all i have to take um the table was my idea i don't know if you know that
00:22:24.080 i heard that i've heard that yeah yeah i it's and this is how it happened i you know i was living in
00:22:31.020 la and uh i moved from la and this is how i know i had the eye of the tiger as they say
00:22:37.100 as like a younger comedian i flew home from la like the night i got back right i still have my
00:22:45.000 suitcase one of my suitcase in my hand um went home for a second dumped some stuff off went down
00:22:52.520 to the comedy cellar later on and i get down there and i had a set can you imagine i had i actually
00:22:58.900 was on the schedule that i'd arrived for about which i would wow i would i would never never 0.87
00:23:05.420 people who know me i wasn't like the fucking excuse me i wasn't ding ding ding dong there's one 0.84
00:23:13.140 But anyways, so, yeah, I get there, I get to the Comedy Cell, and I'm in the Olive Tree Cafe upstairs, and it's packed, and there's nowhere to sit. 0.80
00:23:22.540 And I knew Manny because I was playing the club before I moved to L.A., and I go, Manny, can't you reserve a table for the comedians?
00:23:32.420 I don't want to stand amongst the people that are going to come downstairs and heckle me or, you know.
00:23:37.380 And Manny was such a great guy.
00:23:39.680 I thought that would just bounce off him, right?
00:23:41.840 I come in the next night, there's a table, that table, with three signs on it that say reserved for comedians.
00:23:51.460 And in the first few weeks, man, he loved me, you know.
00:23:55.140 And for the first few weeks, customers were still trying to sit back, would have to kick them out, you know.
00:24:01.660 They would just ignore the signs and sit at the table and would have to go, you know.
00:24:06.620 Because it was my idea, I thought it had to be me who said, scram, get up. 0.99
00:24:10.700 Get you and your fat girl fanatic. 0.93
00:24:13.160 Yeah, God bless Manny for doing that. 0.97
00:24:16.660 And that's how it started.
00:24:18.360 And then, yeah, Patrice O'Neal, Geraldo.
00:24:21.940 I'm trying to remember some guys that are alive.
00:24:25.100 Yeah, right.
00:24:26.680 Norton, Voss, Bob Kelly.
00:24:30.520 Yeah, Bob Kelly and Voss and Colin.
00:24:33.340 And, yes, we would have at it in the way, you know,
00:24:37.220 and some nights it got ugly.
00:24:38.560 Like, Patrice and Geraldo got into it one night.
00:24:42.800 I think Geraldo was a little, you know, a little tipsy, if you could say.
00:24:47.420 He had a few in them. 1.00
00:24:49.000 And that Colombian came out and he had a few drinks. 0.94
00:24:51.620 And he was yelling. 0.97
00:24:54.080 Patrice wasn't even at the table yet.
00:24:55.860 Patrice was leaving and Geraldo sets up.
00:24:57.940 And they start yelling at each other. 0.92
00:24:59.640 And this isn't a packed restaurant with families and Patrice is effing this and that. 0.98
00:25:05.980 all this racial crap you know you know what it's like too it's it's just like when you watch a 0.98
00:25:15.060 scorsese mob movie and people go wow wow we're just busting balls it's all right we're just 0.99
00:25:20.320 possible whenever anyone says that someone's gonna die it's never just busting balls someone
00:25:26.980 is gonna take it way too far but that's what made it so funny man you're right and and some people
00:25:34.900 did die but it wasn't because of violence well no it was uh it was other it was other issues
00:25:40.240 hey nick could i could i could i cut you off real quick and could you stick around for one
00:25:45.420 more segment because we were got a pretty tight show here my friend all right all right we'll be
00:25:53.000 right back of course with the great nick de paulo i appreciate uh the time nick because you're uh
00:25:59.780 You're awesome, man.
00:26:01.060 Right after these quick words on the Anthony Cumia Show.
00:26:05.740 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.
00:26:13.120 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.
00:26:15.500 Entertaining and informative.
00:26:17.600 On the Red Apple Podcast Network.
00:26:20.480 Nick DiPaolo with us.
00:26:23.260 Remember the old days?
00:26:24.900 I remember the old days.
00:26:26.260 Oh, jeez.
00:26:27.820 Was that really?
00:26:29.140 Yep.
00:26:29.780 i was looking at acdc is that what they plan on the station well no that's just for us to hear
00:26:36.040 oh i knew yeah yeah yeah yeah i thought wabc made a real 180 that would be a hell of a change right
00:26:43.920 there they just started playing acdc you see they're on their i guess their final tour is that
00:26:50.420 it because i i saw some clips and it's like look some bands can just go on and on forever
00:26:58.540 ACDC's known for just being pretty hardcore, and, you know, it just, oof.
00:27:06.920 A Whole Lotta Rosie was my wedding song.
00:27:09.340 We lost three sets of grandparents trying to dance to them.
00:27:15.760 It's so funny that, yeah, you were playing ACDC because I have a guitar here,
00:27:21.100 and I was just learning chords today, you know, like a 15-year-old.
00:27:25.060 Are you are you are you trying that, you know, you get you get to a certain point in life and you decide to pick up a guitar?
00:27:34.740 Yeah, I'm hoping to make this circuit.
00:27:37.280 It's 63.
00:27:38.420 Yeah, I got a great name.
00:27:40.820 It's the band is osteoporosis.
00:27:43.120 And this is a new album called Bone Cancer.
00:27:48.400 we're throwing out uh free hurricanes to the first hundred people that show up at the door
00:27:55.180 it's a good way to keep your mind sharp it really i mean it's fun you know but i i get so frustrated
00:28:02.160 i'll think i'm you know getting a few licks down and then i'll i'll go on youtube and i'll see a
00:28:07.780 10 year old asian girl playing clapton better than clapton can play clapton and i don't know
00:28:15.060 I smashed my guitar in the alley behind my house.
00:28:18.320 Dude, I don't know what's real anymore and what is just because we have cameras.
00:28:24.020 Everyone can record stuff and they put it up there.
00:28:27.900 30 years ago was some nine-year-old playing Van Halen riffs.
00:28:34.800 I mean, like it doesn't make any sense.
00:28:38.500 either something really changed or we were unbelievably incompetent back then because
00:28:45.380 i picked up a keyboard at one point in my life i thought i was going to be able to
00:28:49.360 tickle the ivories and play a piano man and have girls swoon over me
00:28:54.220 needless to say that didn't pan out
00:28:58.940 the casio didn't work for you no the game was a little casio keyboard and i'm trying to like
00:29:06.140 sing us a song you're the piano man and i'm thinking you know i'm in uh you should have
00:29:12.280 picked up the guitar at 13 because by 15 you are king i saw my brother do it it pissed me off to
00:29:21.480 no end he would show up at a party i'm sitting there trying to you know do my jokes my little
00:29:27.340 jokes and joe starts playing songs and girls would you know believe me we all know this nick
00:29:34.820 a good musician beats comedian any time at a party any time one of my best bits was about that
00:29:44.200 remember the show behind the music and i'm not going to remember oh yeah you guys gonna have
00:29:48.240 to google it but they had that show behind the music on like mtv oh yeah yeah stories of bands
00:29:55.140 you never saw behind the laughs did you behind the comedy no me bringing back some girl with a 1.00
00:30:02.000 club foot she was like the the coat she worked in the coat room with the funny bone right 1.00
00:30:07.040 in grand rapids she had a hair lip you know they're talking about i remember uh on that vh1
00:30:17.360 uh i don't know if it was the stones somebody said i woke up and um there was a needle hanging
00:30:23.800 out of me arm it was like mickey six or something i put that on my act of book comedian would say
00:30:31.380 that i woke up there was a needle hanging on apparently i rolled over on the sewing kit
00:30:35.900 until i came to end i had about eight analogies if i only i don't know where that bit is if
00:30:44.120 somebody can find that your fans can look it up it was one of my favorite bits and it would still
00:30:48.760 work today because you're right the ai stuff here's what kills me like you said you don't
00:30:53.860 know what's real or not the the animal stuff i'm gonna borrow looking up watching jive tv or
00:30:58.940 clive whatever it is and and the it's the animal stuff that makes me crazy there was a there's a
00:31:04.560 clip of a deer running in front of a car the guy stops the car right the guy gets out the deer
00:31:10.960 leads him into the woods to another deer that was wounded and i go that never happened i look at a
00:31:18.460 strange and actually i go that never happened i try to write a bit on that too i go you know
00:31:24.380 some of them are believable somebody picks up a bird that was hurt whatever i go but you know
00:31:28.920 yesterday i saw one it was a great white shark helping an old lady across the street i go that's
00:31:33.900 it that's that's gotta be ai right right it looks real though i don't know it's
00:31:39.220 yeah you know what the you know what it is also with uh like going to going to those parties
00:31:45.300 years ago and and like i said my brother would be there a musician anyone can accidentally be
00:31:51.640 funny like you could have a guy uh at a party and he might say something it's funny and people
00:31:58.580 look at him and go oh that's funny you don't accidentally pick up a guitar and play a led
00:32:04.160 zeppelin riff right you know you just you have to be good you have to have that talent and girls
00:32:11.480 will gravitate toward that
00:32:13.340 so much faster. I don't care what they say.
00:32:15.540 What's the most important thing? A sense
00:32:17.500 of humor, I think, is
00:32:19.500 mostly... Yeah, sure.
00:32:21.060 I was funny while I had zits
00:32:23.300 on my face and
00:32:24.600 I'd finish
00:32:27.580 up a little premature.
00:32:29.240 Yeah, but...
00:32:31.500 What do you find important?
00:32:34.720 Well, a big dong and he's got to
00:32:36.840 be able to play the less Paul
00:32:38.840 he's got to do, you know.
00:32:40.920 three songs off the
00:32:42.740 Black Sabbath's first album
00:32:46.000 and he might get the first
00:32:47.640 you're right, it's the comedy
00:32:49.840 thing, that's the part
00:32:51.940 what's tough about stand-up though
00:32:53.480 because people, because of
00:32:55.780 what you just said, almost
00:32:57.600 everybody has made their friends laugh at a
00:32:59.720 party, but what that does
00:33:01.860 Anthony, what that does is make
00:33:03.300 them think that they're comedians
00:33:05.900 yeah, yeah
00:33:07.180 making your friends laugh at a party
00:33:09.260 and going on stage and converting that to strangers is a whole different ballgame.
00:33:17.500 But everybody has made somebody laugh, which makes everybody an expert on comedy, you know?
00:33:23.140 And you can be very unfunny and get away with it.
00:33:27.520 I mean, a lot of people don't know the difference between a Bill Hicks and a, you know,
00:33:32.340 I always say Carrot Topp, but I like him.
00:33:34.420 I don't want to pick on Carrot Topp.
00:33:35.740 No, he's actually done very well for himself, 1.00
00:33:37.920 and he's always gotten good reviews, that son of a bitch. 1.00
00:33:41.120 Yeah. 1.00
00:33:42.660 Tell me about it.
00:33:44.720 You know how depressing it is?
00:33:46.300 I play Vegas, and I'm walking down the hall to my room,
00:33:49.440 and all the Do Not Disturb signs have carrot tops
00:33:52.760 to add to him at the MGM Grand.
00:33:54.300 Yeah, his face.
00:33:55.900 And I'm playing Tom's Lounge.
00:33:57.660 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:33:58.500 It's a zebra hut. 0.97
00:34:00.000 Yeah, people can fake it at a party, one line.
00:34:04.020 Your friends are funny.
00:34:05.000 And then I guess back, it had to be back in the early 80s when that comedy boom happened, where everyone thought they were a comic.
00:34:13.040 I think that was part of it.
00:34:15.060 A lot of those open micers started out with, hey, you know, I crack my family up at around Easter.
00:34:22.480 You know, everyone's laughing.
00:34:23.860 And they bought it.
00:34:25.760 And there were all these comedy shows that were out.
00:34:28.540 Oh, yeah.
00:34:29.740 Evening at the Improv and the.
00:34:32.980 Caroline's Comedy Hour.
00:34:34.140 Carol Lentz Comedy Hour, and they were, for the most part, terrible.
00:34:38.520 You'd get one guy on there that might make you laugh,
00:34:41.500 and then it hit that wall, finally, thank God.
00:34:45.440 It hit a wall where people are like,
00:34:47.240 yeah, we're waiting for the cream to float to the top.
00:34:51.060 And it happened.
00:34:52.060 That's what I've been saying is that's how I feel about podcasts right now.
00:34:56.380 There are too many podcasters and podcasts
00:35:00.180 because everyone could go to Best Buy and get a podcast play kit
00:35:04.820 and set it up, and now they're a podcaster.
00:35:07.820 But they don't know what the hell to do once they turn the mic on.
00:35:12.020 I think we're in that same thing with podcasting
00:35:14.920 that we were in comedy in the 80s.
00:35:16.980 Well, yeah, and comedy's getting saturated again now, too.
00:35:20.180 Oh, God.
00:35:20.960 I'm glad you brought up podcasts.
00:35:22.620 This is how bad I am at marketing myself.
00:35:25.020 Yeah, come on, Nick.
00:35:26.060 I have a podcast Monday through Monday.
00:35:27.720 Nick DiPaolo, everybody.
00:35:29.380 Where can we hear you, Nick?
00:35:33.000 Monday through Thursday, 5 p.m. Eastern on Rumble.
00:35:37.160 And if you guys don't know who Rumble is,
00:35:38.960 Rumble is putting YouTube out of business.
00:35:41.800 Rumble's the naughty, naughty, naughty version.
00:35:44.620 The naughty version of YouTube.
00:35:47.380 Yeah.
00:35:49.780 I can go wild on Rumble.
00:35:52.440 And, you know, it's God bless the guy that runs it,
00:35:56.520 uh chris pavlovsky whatever his name is but he's uh you know he's like the only thing that stands
00:36:02.820 between us and um total censorship you know it's it's so rough these days man like i you know i do
00:36:10.760 my show my internet show and uh it's just there's nothing i can't say because it's subscription
00:36:18.100 based it's private it's that but everything else i put stuff up on youtube i gotta be real careful
00:36:24.080 And now, this is FCC, Nick DiPaolo.
00:36:28.560 The FCC's watching and listening right now to make sure Anthony Cumia doesn't screw up again.
00:36:36.180 Yeah, well, if you're listening, leave him alone.
00:36:39.860 Yeah, thank you.
00:36:41.220 Leave the guy alone.
00:36:42.300 He's making an honest living.
00:36:43.580 The guy used to put up duct work, okay?
00:36:45.680 I put in air conditioning and heating ducts.
00:36:48.020 For the love of God, I was able to talk and get a few people to listen.
00:36:52.140 Can you just leave me alone?
00:36:53.880 That's all I'm asking.
00:36:55.260 Leave me alone.
00:36:56.220 This guy's going to have stage four lung cancer in about three minutes.
00:36:58.960 Let him have his fun.
00:37:00.300 Breathing in asbestos.
00:37:02.340 You didn't call me, Tony.
00:37:04.300 You didn't call me.
00:37:06.040 You did construction.
00:37:07.480 Yeah, yeah.
00:37:08.000 We all did.
00:37:08.540 I did all that stuff.
00:37:09.400 My uncle had me up in an attic.
00:37:11.040 You know, this is 1976.
00:37:12.880 Oh, God.
00:37:13.360 Yeah, get in there and clean out that.
00:37:15.000 What is it?
00:37:15.500 I don't know.
00:37:15.920 It's like some type of chemical dump.
00:37:18.060 Make believe it's cotton candy.
00:37:19.860 Eat it.
00:37:20.280 Go ahead.
00:37:20.680 Have fun, kid.
00:37:21.720 Yeah, put on a Red Sox hat.
00:37:23.160 Put a paper towel in front of your face.
00:37:27.700 Knock yourself out, kid. 0.77
00:37:30.560 Hold this rag over your mouth. 0.93
00:37:32.440 Yeah, you'll be fine.
00:37:33.520 You'll be fine.
00:37:34.440 30 years later, you're coughing up blood.
00:37:38.620 Nick, you are a gem.
00:37:41.520 I love having you on.
00:37:43.240 I want to do this more, of course.
00:37:45.360 And we live way too close together to not show up live on each other's show.
00:37:50.240 I always think about that.
00:37:52.060 And it bothers me a little bit that I go, no, he's just like me.
00:37:56.340 You know what?
00:37:57.660 How far are you from me?
00:37:59.460 Two?
00:37:59.860 Two hours?
00:38:00.780 I'll wave.
00:38:01.480 Look, look out your window.
00:38:02.760 Here I am.
00:38:03.300 I'm waving.
00:38:03.800 Is that you?
00:38:05.740 Oh, yeah.
00:38:06.620 You got the Make America Great Again hat.
00:38:09.100 I'm not that far, dude.
00:38:11.720 I'm really not ever.
00:38:12.560 Probably two hours.
00:38:14.040 Two hours.
00:38:14.600 No, two hours.
00:38:15.360 But I go, he's just like me.
00:38:18.820 You know, he don't want to get me.
00:38:21.160 No.
00:38:21.420 As much as I want to see Anthony, wait, I don't know. 0.98
00:38:24.880 We're getting a car, drive, what are you, crazy?
00:38:27.720 I got to go outside? 0.74
00:38:29.080 I got to open my door?
00:38:30.260 I got to dress?
00:38:33.120 Dude, I shower once every 11 days now, I swear to God.
00:38:37.780 I swear to God.
00:38:38.660 I think I got you beat. 1.00
00:38:40.860 You know how girls are doing this thing called fabbing? 1.00
00:38:44.980 I don't know if you've read this. 1.00
00:38:46.240 I don't know, look at you, keeping tabs on all the teen magazines.
00:38:49.900 Oh, God, yes.
00:38:51.140 I have a middle school up the street.
00:38:54.940 What is fabbing? 1.00
00:38:57.280 They touch themselves down there, the girls, 0.99
00:39:00.240 and then they put it behind their ears. 0.96
00:39:03.040 Are you kidding me?
00:39:04.020 Like perfume?
00:39:05.240 Yes. 1.00
00:39:06.200 So apparently I tried it, and ass sweat doesn't work as good. 0.99
00:39:10.600 No, no. 0.99
00:39:11.180 I put some ass sweat on my wrist. 0.99
00:39:16.900 Not quite Fabergé. 0.98
00:39:19.340 he goes the funniest part is he said you put it on your wrist
00:39:24.020 like maybe in the 40s they did which is even funnier
00:39:29.720 but nick uh i love you bro well yeah uh let's you know dude i know how it is when you first get back
00:39:37.760 yeah no show and you know scrambling or whatever but tell the people this friday night to come see
00:39:44.140 at the Coho's Music Hall, and then May 15th and 16th
00:39:49.040 at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois, and listen to my podcast.
00:39:52.740 It's only 40 minutes.
00:39:54.300 It's rough and tumble.
00:39:55.700 I say what I want, and that's on Rumble,
00:40:00.080 the Nick DiPaolo Show, 5 p.m. Eastern, Monday through Thursday.
00:40:04.860 DiPaolo.
00:40:05.540 Yeah, baby.
00:40:06.560 I love it, Nick.
00:40:07.380 Thanks so much for coming on, man.
00:40:08.900 Thank you, Nick, for bringing Anthony back.
00:40:10.460 Thank you.
00:40:11.260 Yes, thank you for noticing that.
00:40:13.500 Some people, you know, they still keep their mouths shut. 1.00
00:40:16.520 They never talk to me again, these bastards. 1.00
00:40:19.160 Nick, thanks so much, man. 0.99
00:40:21.000 I'll see you soon.
00:40:22.580 Hopefully I'll drive the 15 minutes to your house.
00:40:25.920 All right.
00:40:26.380 Let's eat at a Waffle House halfway in between.
00:40:29.080 Yeah, let's do that.
00:40:30.180 The great Nick DiPaolo.
00:40:31.220 We'll be right back after these words.
00:40:34.420 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.
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