Nick Di Paolo ｜ 04-20-25
Episode Stats
Harmful content
Misogyny
18
sentences flagged
Toxicity
68
sentences flagged
Hate speech
34
sentences flagged
Summary
On this episode of the Red Apple Podcast Network's Anthony Cumia Show, Nick Dapallo joins me to talk about his time on the Opie and Anthony Show, why he left New York City, and much, much more!
Transcript
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great comic. Used to come on the Opie and Anthony
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show all the time and uh people liked a couple of us italians just waxing fantastic about the good
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old days and the the crap that's going on uh in our country and the world right now he has his
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own show which i'm sure he'll tell you about better than i ever could mr nick d'apallo nick
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how are you my friend uh very good anthony very good uh first of all i want to give a shout out
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to wabc radio for having the gonads the testicles the fortitude uh to put anthony cumia on the air
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where he belongs um somebody over there has good taste and like i said huge brass ones
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isn't that it's insane yeah after everything that's happened it's like all right i'll come
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back to the broadcast airwaves i like the idea of the fcc breathing down my neck it wasn't it
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wasn't enough to have every podcaster and woke uh jack off or anything else uh uh trying to get
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me fired or killed yeah let me let me get the government back on me again like it was back in
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the early 2000s you gotta hand it to whoever that i've never maybe i know the guy because i did have
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do a stint with wabc i think i did i don't know yeah i'm like you i've been fired and uh whatever
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but i would like to know the guy that pulled the trigger on the show and i say he should uh you
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know run for a governor in new york replace that sloppy bitch oh my god governor mayor anyone in
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new york senators congress people it's you know nick you abandoned new york just like i did
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yeah and we had friends and family up there and and it's you know it's tough to just move because
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you get used to where you are you kind of fall into a habit it got so bad that we we left and
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it has to be because so many people there keep voting for the same imbeciles and and they'll
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get rid of one and think well now it's going to get better and vote in the same virtually the same
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person and we've seen this happen so many times with the mayor adams uh governor uh cuomo and
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then you got hokul and and the collects chuck schumer the whole collection of them just seem
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to be dedicated to screwing that state up well i i have a theory about that and not just new york
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A lot of big blue cities that are going in the toilet.
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Dice talking about the farm bill on the Senate floor.
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They're out there picking corn or something.
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The like the attorney generals, I know some in some some states, the attorney generals are elected, some they're appointed.
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But my point is, even like New York City, I really believe those people I'd voted in.
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I believe, look, if they could fix the presidential election, which they did, by the way, in 2020, I really believe it's rigged in New York.
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and other because even new yorkers as liberal as they are um they they're not that stupid
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they i i i i mean i hope i'm right that they would vote in the same liberal scum that
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that every eight years destroyed their city i really believe it has to be rigged from the inside
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um either that or it's really sad that they're i don't know new york is more credit i don't think
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to that stupid but like chicago yeah let's replace we're gonna get rid of laurie lifewood
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and replace her with somebody 40 feet to the left of her what the every time you just see these
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cities like yeah of course uh new york chicago atlanta uh then smaller ones like baltimore
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Oakland just elected a new mayor, Oakland, because the last mayor was corrupt, stealing money, all kinds.
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You can't find one open fast food restaurant.
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They boarded these things up and left like Martians were attacking.
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And then they just elected this woman that, like you said, a mile to the left of the last guy that was in there.
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You know, anybody but a Democrat like Adams, Adams, by the way, now is just playing off of the fact that Trump and his Justice Department got him off the hook.
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And then, but Hochul, like you could have had Zeldin, Lee Zeldin, and they just vote in this woman that she's terrible for the state.
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Did you ever hear her before she became a judge?
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And then Cuomo tries to say, hey, I'm Italian, so I'll molest people at weddings.
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He pretty much offed a thousand elderly in old folks homes during COVID.
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And then when she went through Cuomo's term, they gave us a chance in New York.
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I mean, I was being called a redneck in seventh grade for crying out loud before I even knew what it was.
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I didn't even know what a liberal was when I was 14, but I knew one when I met one.
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It was just, you know, so they're just watching them try to destroy the country.
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But he seems to be trying to do what's best for the country,
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not a little group here or this person or this soundbite,
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and all they're doing is trying to put the brakes on him
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To the point where you're looking, like I was saying,
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how do you look and go, can we get rid of the illegals
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that have been pouring into this country for years now?
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and then he tries to do it and he's the bad guy and and the illegals are the heroes right so
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that's right so what does that tell you you made a great point uh trump america wants what trump
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wants and vice versa uh but it upsets the left to no end so what does that tell you they don't like
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this country they hate it and by trump showing up on the scene he has really shined the light
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It's not about left, right, liberal, conservative.
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And no wonder why they don't want to agree to anything, any Republican.
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It used to be, I remember like when, even when Tip O'Neill was in office and Reagan,
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And they would, you know, they would even back then, it was push and shove.
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He could he could literally save a baby on a subway platform.
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And they would they would say, you know, he touched her illegally.
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Who cares if that guy who cares if he's a gang member or not?
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He was here illegally, and we know he beats his wife.
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The politicians, I have to believe they know what they're doing.
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The Democrats have only had one playbook for years now,
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and they're playing the same play over and over again.
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But I can't believe they are as insane as their constituents are.
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Well, I always, you know, people always talk about good and evil.
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And I didn't I thought that was a little hyperbolic as far as politics go.
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Not anymore. This is the first time I really go.
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Oh, there really is. I mean, when you are defending doctors who have mutilated kids and getting in between parents and their kids
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and encouraging people who came over here illegally that rape
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and do all this stuff, that you're looking out for them instead of the victims.
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I mean, that really is, I'm going, wait a minute, maybe it really is evil.
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And I don't think that's, like, I'm not exaggerating to say that.
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They're like a death cult as far as abortion and all that other crap.
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I'm not like a far righty, but when I talk about these a-holes,
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You know, I sound like Billy Graham or whoever.
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Nick, I – the great Nick DiPaolo, comedian extraordinaire, on with us.
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I'd like to, you know, give you a little opportunity to plug a gig.
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This Friday night, I'm sort of in – well, I was going to say you're neck of the woods.
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And then May 15th and 16th at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois, which is a beautiful.
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I hate saying the name Zaney because the club is really beautiful.
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i was just gonna ask you about that man because look i've known you for many years all the you
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know of all the comics that used to come into the on a show you know you're just a pisser man
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and i i just how it are you still enjoying your time out on the road um oh tremendously
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oh my god you dude i'm like uh you know they should put me on the news and i i get on the
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plane i have the ugly i get the first of all it's beautiful down here because the airport is 19
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minutes for me oh yes i i get there in a straight shot anthony true story last time i flew out of
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savannah last time i flew out of savannah i parked the car like in a lot that's kind of a little
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far away and it's the same place and i walk i walk through like two parking garages through the
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lobby up the escalator tsa all the way to my gate listen to this with nobody in front of me
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it's fantastic right it's like it's like the 70s it's like the 70s they put you on a 707 with a
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carving a carving station wheeled in front of your seat it really is i couldn't i it's just
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And so I don't have a reason, you know, I have to go to Texas every month
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because I do this thing with Steven Crowder on Lotto Crowder.
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Like, I actually don't, that's how nice it is down here, like going to the airport.
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And I do hate the flying because it's just a microcosm of our society.
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I would get a pit in my stomach knowing I had to go from Westchester County to LaGuardia,
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not knowing if a truck was going to tip over, if there was construction.
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I would have a knot in my stomach for two weeks, and then I'd get in there, and there's the baby.
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I swear to God, they're putting a cigarette out on a baby's foot just to kickstart them.
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When I talked to you on the phone the other day, you were on the plane.
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it sounded like they were torturing babies yeah there was a baby crying next to me which you know
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it's it's what it is but i don't remember that back years ago maybe i'm just looking like every
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other flight yeah and then even first class you know we like to we like to splurge a little nick
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i'll tell you i've i've earned a few uh bucks in my day i decide to splurge a little but first
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class is now steerage in the old days first class back when i was a kid i walked you didn't even
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walk through the same door they had you walking behind first class and you try to look through
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the curtain and it was just this magical land of food and drink and laughing it was like mad men
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it was like the show mad men they're all up there sipping scotch and uh uh feeling up uh waitresses
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hand jobs yeah it was fantastic now they've just cut everything down it sucks and and like you said
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it's a microcosm could you imagine people behaving on planes years ago like they do now
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they wore suits and ties and a god i know dora and the women were in dresses and the kids god
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forbid they open their yap now it's a catastrophe every flight this is a part of the show where all
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your your your fans are going to be uh you know in the comment section going or not even you know
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not even our fans just people are too cranky old guys yeah yeah well good we are too cranky old
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guys what am i trying to what am i trying to present myself as 28 years old looking for broads
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Well, you know, again, I made a lot of money in my day.
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Well, I'm not a pauper, but I got this leper in my house that makes me feel.
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Yeah, no, it's, yeah, so I picked my spots, Anthony.
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Like, I couldn't, when I was a young comic, I would do like everybody else, 25, 30 weeks.
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Because, you know, I wasn't married, you're chasing broads, and then they're having a good time.
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And that was economy, flying economy, but I hated it.
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I heard Jerry Seinfeld on Tom Papa's show saying that.
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He started talking about travel, and he's like, oh, that's retired, more comedian.
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They're paying us to stand in line at the airport.
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You go in there with Lomenal, and it looks like an episode of I.D.
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It's like a Peter Max poster under a blacklight.
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you know it's it's it's like go ahead sorry it's so funny because you got like a few stories you
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know i i i hear norton and florentine and voss and they'll tell these stories but there's only
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a few of them out of the thousands of times they've been out so you got to imagine you know
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they aren't all this amazing funny we got some girls took them back to the hotel stories it's
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mostly just boredom and a crap club and a crap crowd?
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but I think if you went back and pictured me in my,
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even my late 20s, early 30s compared to Norton and Voss,
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I think I would have had a leg up on the broad situation.
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You know, I texted him the other day, and he's like,
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oh, I look like – and I go, I said, I think you look better now.
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Yeah, he'll look at that as an insult because he thought he looked better years ago.
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I mean, he's heavier now, but he just – I mean, well, he –
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I guess he's not wearing an Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt, and he wears a jacket.
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yeah that's great you know it's going to be clipped and sent to him he looks heavier now
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that's the only that's the only thing that's going to be clipped and sent to him yeah but
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i'm saying it looks good on him oh yeah yeah i thought he whatever he like you know whatever
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hey with his lifestyle we all thought he'd be losing a lot of weight so so you know what are
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you gonna do uh yeah i was worried about 20 years ago i thought he did maybe catch a germ
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I'd like to talk to you about a few more things
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it's the anthony cumia show on the red apple podcast network
00:20:43.260
welcome back uh if you're uh listening on the amplitude modulation airwaves then you don't
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have to worry about this but uh download the app download the app anyway it's uh over there on the
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app store 77 wc app and uh then you can listen that's how this technology works we have nick
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de paulo comedian good guy rational thinker some people might argue that point but nick de paulo
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nick i i love talking with people about the old new york days at the the comedy cellar in new york
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And, you know, because everyone loves bringing up that goddamn table, the table, the table.
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And it's just it's become this legendary thing.
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Whenever anyone brings up the old crowd of Colin Quinn and Patrice O'Neill and Greg Giraldo and all these guys and you, obviously.
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and uh you know they think it's still a still a thing that comics would still sit in a club
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at a table and talk like you guys did about what's going on in the world and just
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but you guys took busting balls to a level no one could even deal with now they they go home and off
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themselves uh what what is this you're out there you're in the clubs what does it look like these
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days well first of all i have to take um the table was my idea i don't know if you know that
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i heard that i've heard that yeah yeah i it's and this is how it happened i you know i was living in
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la and uh i moved from la and this is how i know i had the eye of the tiger as they say
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as like a younger comedian i flew home from la like the night i got back right i still have my
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suitcase one of my suitcase in my hand um went home for a second dumped some stuff off went down
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to the comedy cellar later on and i get down there and i had a set can you imagine i had i actually
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was on the schedule that i'd arrived for about which i would wow i would i would never never
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people who know me i wasn't like the fucking excuse me i wasn't ding ding ding dong there's one
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But anyways, so, yeah, I get there, I get to the Comedy Cell, and I'm in the Olive Tree Cafe upstairs, and it's packed, and there's nowhere to sit.
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And I knew Manny because I was playing the club before I moved to L.A., and I go, Manny, can't you reserve a table for the comedians?
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I don't want to stand amongst the people that are going to come downstairs and heckle me or, you know.
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I thought that would just bounce off him, right?
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I come in the next night, there's a table, that table, with three signs on it that say reserved for comedians.
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And in the first few weeks, man, he loved me, you know.
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And for the first few weeks, customers were still trying to sit back, would have to kick them out, you know.
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They would just ignore the signs and sit at the table and would have to go, you know.
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Because it was my idea, I thought it had to be me who said, scram, get up.
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I'm trying to remember some guys that are alive.
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And, yes, we would have at it in the way, you know,
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Like, Patrice and Geraldo got into it one night.
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I think Geraldo was a little, you know, a little tipsy, if you could say.
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And that Colombian came out and he had a few drinks.
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And this isn't a packed restaurant with families and Patrice is effing this and that.
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all this racial crap you know you know what it's like too it's it's just like when you watch a
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scorsese mob movie and people go wow wow we're just busting balls it's all right we're just
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possible whenever anyone says that someone's gonna die it's never just busting balls someone
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is gonna take it way too far but that's what made it so funny man you're right and and some people
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did die but it wasn't because of violence well no it was uh it was other it was other issues
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hey nick could i could i could i cut you off real quick and could you stick around for one
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more segment because we were got a pretty tight show here my friend all right all right we'll be
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right back of course with the great nick de paulo i appreciate uh the time nick because you're uh
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Right after these quick words on the Anthony Cumia Show.
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It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.
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i was looking at acdc is that what they plan on the station well no that's just for us to hear
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oh i knew yeah yeah yeah yeah i thought wabc made a real 180 that would be a hell of a change right
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there they just started playing acdc you see they're on their i guess their final tour is that
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it because i i saw some clips and it's like look some bands can just go on and on forever
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ACDC's known for just being pretty hardcore, and, you know, it just, oof.
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We lost three sets of grandparents trying to dance to them.
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It's so funny that, yeah, you were playing ACDC because I have a guitar here,
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and I was just learning chords today, you know, like a 15-year-old.
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Are you are you are you trying that, you know, you get you get to a certain point in life and you decide to pick up a guitar?
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we're throwing out uh free hurricanes to the first hundred people that show up at the door
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it's a good way to keep your mind sharp it really i mean it's fun you know but i i get so frustrated
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i'll think i'm you know getting a few licks down and then i'll i'll go on youtube and i'll see a
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10 year old asian girl playing clapton better than clapton can play clapton and i don't know
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I smashed my guitar in the alley behind my house.
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Dude, I don't know what's real anymore and what is just because we have cameras.
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Everyone can record stuff and they put it up there.
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30 years ago was some nine-year-old playing Van Halen riffs.
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either something really changed or we were unbelievably incompetent back then because
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i picked up a keyboard at one point in my life i thought i was going to be able to
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tickle the ivories and play a piano man and have girls swoon over me
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the casio didn't work for you no the game was a little casio keyboard and i'm trying to like
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sing us a song you're the piano man and i'm thinking you know i'm in uh you should have
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picked up the guitar at 13 because by 15 you are king i saw my brother do it it pissed me off to
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no end he would show up at a party i'm sitting there trying to you know do my jokes my little
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jokes and joe starts playing songs and girls would you know believe me we all know this nick
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a good musician beats comedian any time at a party any time one of my best bits was about that
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remember the show behind the music and i'm not going to remember oh yeah you guys gonna have
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to google it but they had that show behind the music on like mtv oh yeah yeah stories of bands
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you never saw behind the laughs did you behind the comedy no me bringing back some girl with a
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club foot she was like the the coat she worked in the coat room with the funny bone right
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in grand rapids she had a hair lip you know they're talking about i remember uh on that vh1
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uh i don't know if it was the stones somebody said i woke up and um there was a needle hanging
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out of me arm it was like mickey six or something i put that on my act of book comedian would say
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that i woke up there was a needle hanging on apparently i rolled over on the sewing kit
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until i came to end i had about eight analogies if i only i don't know where that bit is if
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somebody can find that your fans can look it up it was one of my favorite bits and it would still
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work today because you're right the ai stuff here's what kills me like you said you don't
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know what's real or not the the animal stuff i'm gonna borrow looking up watching jive tv or
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clive whatever it is and and the it's the animal stuff that makes me crazy there was a there's a
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clip of a deer running in front of a car the guy stops the car right the guy gets out the deer
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leads him into the woods to another deer that was wounded and i go that never happened i look at a
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strange and actually i go that never happened i try to write a bit on that too i go you know
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some of them are believable somebody picks up a bird that was hurt whatever i go but you know
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yesterday i saw one it was a great white shark helping an old lady across the street i go that's
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it that's that's gotta be ai right right it looks real though i don't know it's
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yeah you know what the you know what it is also with uh like going to going to those parties
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years ago and and like i said my brother would be there a musician anyone can accidentally be
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funny like you could have a guy uh at a party and he might say something it's funny and people
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look at him and go oh that's funny you don't accidentally pick up a guitar and play a led
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zeppelin riff right you know you just you have to be good you have to have that talent and girls
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and going on stage and converting that to strangers is a whole different ballgame.
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But everybody has made somebody laugh, which makes everybody an expert on comedy, you know?
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And you can be very unfunny and get away with it.
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I mean, a lot of people don't know the difference between a Bill Hicks and a, you know,
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No, he's actually done very well for himself,
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and he's always gotten good reviews, that son of a bitch.
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I play Vegas, and I'm walking down the hall to my room,
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and all the Do Not Disturb signs have carrot tops
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And then I guess back, it had to be back in the early 80s when that comedy boom happened, where everyone thought they were a comic.
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A lot of those open micers started out with, hey, you know, I crack my family up at around Easter.
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And there were all these comedy shows that were out.
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Carol Lentz Comedy Hour, and they were, for the most part, terrible.
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You'd get one guy on there that might make you laugh,
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yeah, we're waiting for the cream to float to the top.
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That's what I've been saying is that's how I feel about podcasts right now.
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because everyone could go to Best Buy and get a podcast play kit
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But they don't know what the hell to do once they turn the mic on.
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I think we're in that same thing with podcasting
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Well, yeah, and comedy's getting saturated again now, too.
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Monday through Thursday, 5 p.m. Eastern on Rumble.
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Rumble's the naughty, naughty, naughty version.
00:35:52.440
And, you know, it's God bless the guy that runs it,
00:35:56.520
uh chris pavlovsky whatever his name is but he's uh you know he's like the only thing that stands
00:36:02.820
between us and um total censorship you know it's it's so rough these days man like i you know i do
00:36:10.760
my show my internet show and uh it's just there's nothing i can't say because it's subscription
00:36:18.100
based it's private it's that but everything else i put stuff up on youtube i gotta be real careful
00:36:28.560
The FCC's watching and listening right now to make sure Anthony Cumia doesn't screw up again.
00:36:36.180
Yeah, well, if you're listening, leave him alone.
00:36:48.020
For the love of God, I was able to talk and get a few people to listen.
00:36:56.220
This guy's going to have stage four lung cancer in about three minutes.
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And we live way too close together to not show up live on each other's show.
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And it bothers me a little bit that I go, no, he's just like me.
00:38:21.420
As much as I want to see Anthony, wait, I don't know.
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We're getting a car, drive, what are you, crazy?
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Dude, I shower once every 11 days now, I swear to God.
00:38:40.860
You know how girls are doing this thing called fabbing?
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I don't know, look at you, keeping tabs on all the teen magazines.
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They touch themselves down there, the girls,
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So apparently I tried it, and ass sweat doesn't work as good.
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he goes the funniest part is he said you put it on your wrist
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like maybe in the 40s they did which is even funnier
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but nick uh i love you bro well yeah uh let's you know dude i know how it is when you first get back
00:39:37.760
yeah no show and you know scrambling or whatever but tell the people this friday night to come see
00:39:44.140
at the Coho's Music Hall, and then May 15th and 16th
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at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois, and listen to my podcast.
00:40:00.080
the Nick DiPaolo Show, 5 p.m. Eastern, Monday through Thursday.
00:40:13.500
Some people, you know, they still keep their mouths shut.
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They never talk to me again, these bastards.
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Hopefully I'll drive the 15 minutes to your house.
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Let's eat at a Waffle House halfway in between.
00:40:34.420
It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.
00:40:38.720
When you travel well, your KLM Royal Dutch Airlines ticket
00:40:47.180
It takes you to winding streets, spontaneous detours
00:40:50.640
and the realisation that neither of you is actually good with directions.
00:40:56.300
And when the final shortcut taken isn't exactly short,
00:41:02.880
Our crew is here to give you a trip home that goes just as planned.
00:41:11.420
A Safer Ontario means more police and prosecutors
00:41:16.520
It means building new jails to keep criminals behind bars.
00:41:20.020
And it means there's no need to worry when I play at the park.