The Anthony Cumia Show - The Anthony Cumia Show ｜ 05-10-26

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00:01:00.040 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

00:01:05.820 It is the Anthony Cumia Show. Welcome. Another great Sunday evening. So glad you could join us.

00:01:14.600 It seems like it's been a week. Seems that way. But none of that even matters this evening.

00:01:22.340 Any previous show, any show I do in the future will mean nothing compared to tonight because my guest this evening, the inimitable, the incredible, diabolical, Mr. Jimmy Norton.

00:01:36.860 Jim, how are you, sir?

00:01:38.340 Oh, if I was any better, it would be a sin.

00:01:40.740 Guy that doesn't know how to open a conversation in a natural, funny way.

00:01:45.140 By the way, you didn't have to explain it.

00:01:47.160 No, I know.

00:01:47.760 Just say hi.

00:01:48.780 All right, good.

00:01:49.360 Show's over. 1.00

00:01:50.020 Stupid. 1.00

00:01:50.260 but I wound up, before we went on the air, 1.00

00:01:53.080 I'm just so happy that my goal was to ruin your night

00:01:55.660 by having Shirley Temple run through your head.

00:01:58.520 Yes, yes.

00:01:59.220 Polly Wally Doodle all the day is stuck in my head

00:02:01.400 every minute of every day, and I hope.

00:02:03.840 Polly Wally Doodle all the day,

00:02:05.960 and it did wreck my whole night,

00:02:07.480 because now I'm all sexed up. 0.99

00:02:09.280 All right, Anthony, shut up. 0.99

00:02:10.840 Did it have to go to that in a second? 0.99

00:02:13.200 As it should have.

00:02:14.260 As it should.

00:02:15.680 Of course, I don't know who on this planet

00:02:18.600 wouldn't know that mr jim norton a good friend of mine a comedian extraordinaire and uh part of

00:02:26.880 the opie and anthony show for for almost its entirety in new york yeah and uh it just uh what

00:02:34.780 a great relationship we built up over the years jimmy i adore you everyone knows this um and i

00:02:40.920 think you're one of the funniest people i've wanted to get you on the show i'm down in south

00:02:46.660 kakalacky now you're in new york you're a busy comic i mean you were just on a world tour

00:02:53.700 with louis ck yes i louis a busy comic i was a lucky opener as far as me being a busy comic

00:03:02.320 yeah i'm very busy hanging up drapes behind the fourth row of in comedy clubs so it looks full

00:03:08.900 i bring my own curtain what a loser i was watching a lot of videos that you were doing

00:03:16.500 from these uh faraway lands yes touring with louis and uh the the kind of comparison i made 0.98

00:03:23.020 you're like that little fish under the shark's mouth that tries to grab the crumbs nibble the

00:03:29.300 crumbs from the louis is that a sucker fish or a uh i know that's what you are but i don't know

00:03:35.440 it's um yeah it's a little thing that attaches i know yeah i think they're called pilot fish

00:03:43.300 pilot fish yes maybe but there's a few other things i don't know why i'm helping you figure

00:03:47.040 it out like this is some great insult yeah yeah i'm trying to figure out what is i'm a what is

00:03:51.840 it a barnacle no it ends with hole it starts with a part of the body tumor no it looked amazing it

00:04:00.160 was great it looked uh i i would you know what and again because at the top of the hour they

00:04:07.020 played a little um clip uh i was talking about new york and every time i come back to new york

00:04:11.920 i get to compare it to the last time i was here as opposed to people that live here and to see

00:04:16.820 if it's getting worse you know everybody thinks about danny it's got to be getting worse and it

00:04:20.840 is i i think it is but uh going overseas i couldn't imagine that i come here i was just in vegas

00:04:29.960 for a little while and i'm like right when i get there i go i want to go home i just i'm i think

00:04:35.420 i'm at that age from vegas yeah vegas it sucks i hate vegas but now i have to gamble i know but

00:04:43.800 i'll go to atlantic city i like to gamble like the borgata and stuff right vegas isn't even about

00:04:48.360 gambling anymore it's just a terrible place to to go everyone's awful the casinos are all just

00:04:55.180 rip off joints well not that they've ever been charitable organizations they're all corporate

00:04:59.560 now and they nickel and dime you on everything so yeah it's very it's just annoying the way they

00:05:04.780 they just pay pay for parking pay for the they used to be for free just to get you in the casino

00:05:10.020 and now they want money used to know your name and what you drink absolutely the dancers would

00:05:13.820 kick my tongue out anymore i loved i went to vegas years ago my car blew up in the parking lot i felt

00:05:18.720 like this is old school vegas but i don't i don't feel that way anymore it's uh they they took the

00:05:25.620 gaming tables out there's i was at the plaza hotel there were three blackjack tables they

00:05:32.760 were all 50 minimum and and and everywhere that used to be a blackjack table a roulette wheel

00:05:39.660 craps table is now bing bing bing bing bing ding ding ding ding ding ding all these slot machines

00:05:46.620 they got uh old people on on oxygen pulling the lever pushing the buttons it's not gaming anymore

00:05:55.160 It's not like you're gambling and enjoying the time with people.

00:05:59.400 When you'd walk through, though, a lot of times I'd be in Vegas, and a lot of those

00:06:02.600 tables were empty.

00:06:03.400 Like, it'd be like 11 o'clock or 12 o'clock, and you'd be like, two or three of them had

00:06:06.480 this.

00:06:06.660 So they probably did the math and said, like, we could fire these dealers and not have to 1.00

00:06:10.500 pay them and get rid of these big, empty, stupid tables, and some old bag will throw 1.00

00:06:15.520 money into this machine, and at least it's not, we're not paying someone to sit here 1.00

00:06:20.320 and make us no money.

00:06:21.480 So the machine is kind of, it doesn't cost them anything. 1.00

00:06:23.760 I would think you would try to figure out a way to attract more people to the tables because isn't that the atmosphere you would want more so than the old people just every boomer with their inheritance going down the crapper. 0.99

00:06:37.620 When you're walking by and people are screaming and someone's having a good time at the table, it does make you stay and watch. 1.00

00:06:42.280 Or when somebody would walk by your table and hear you're screaming like, wow, that guy just lost his Jaguar.

00:06:48.240 That guy just lost his house.

00:06:50.140 It was never fun.

00:06:51.180 Whenever I watched you gamble, I was like, let me just go watch Anthony almost give himself a stroke. 0.96

00:06:55.100 Doesn't that tell you that you're a mush? 0.95

00:06:58.080 Yes. 0.95

00:06:58.620 Because I won.

00:06:59.480 Yes.

00:06:59.980 Just never when you were around. 0.97

00:07:01.340 Any woman I've slept with would tell you I'm a mush.

00:07:04.140 My two thumbs got really sore from trying to jam things. 0.77

00:07:08.480 Oh, I get it.

00:07:09.880 Mush.

00:07:10.400 I was a real mush.

00:07:11.940 Maybe it was me because I told you when Dice started going to the –

00:07:15.360 Dice didn't like having you around sometimes too. 0.84

00:07:17.260 He was very vocal about people he thought were mushers.

00:07:19.860 He asked me to leave the casino.

00:07:21.620 We were in the Venetian, and he was trying to get a contract.

00:07:24.540 He probably blew maybe $200,000.

00:07:27.040 He just had a big duffel bag of cash.

00:07:28.520 Big shows.

00:07:30.280 And he was losing, and he goes, you got to leave.

00:07:32.680 You're bad luck.

00:07:33.760 So I had to leave the casino.

00:07:35.900 The whole casino?

00:07:36.940 The whole casino.

00:07:37.340 He didn't want you going over to the wheel to spin it yourself?

00:07:41.100 No.

00:07:41.680 You're making me lose here.

00:07:43.340 Or just get out of my sight.

00:07:45.580 Like I had to just leave.

00:07:46.800 Right, right, the sight line.

00:07:47.720 Yeah.

00:07:47.900 Because you do get like that when you're betting, especially betting big.

00:07:52.500 I guess so, yeah.

00:07:53.360 Anything that you feel might be – because you can't attribute it to, well, it's a casino.

00:07:59.520 The odds are in their favor.

00:08:00.720 I'm throwing money away.

00:08:02.100 Why would you attribute it to that when you know that that's terrible?

00:08:05.800 Why am I even here?

00:08:07.320 Yeah.

00:08:07.580 It must be Jim Norton coming up behind me like a vulture.

00:08:11.900 Yeah, blame the little blinking, mushy-bosomed opener.

00:08:15.900 Yes.

00:08:16.460 Standing there with no self-esteem anyway.

00:08:18.400 I've heard those dice stories.

00:08:21.300 He threw Kenny out many times.

00:08:23.580 Oh, did he?

00:08:24.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:08:25.120 The mush.

00:08:26.020 That's what they, you know, we have to think it's luck.

00:08:29.700 We can't think it's math and odds and things like that.

00:08:34.280 And then if you start winning, the worst thing that could happen is if you do start winning,

00:08:37.980 because now don't even look at me.

00:08:39.920 Don't come near me the whole trip.

00:08:41.440 What are you doing?

00:08:42.260 So you'll stay at the hotel.

00:08:43.780 Do you gamble half the time?

00:08:46.200 Is it every night?

00:08:47.240 Are they giving you stuff for free there?

00:08:50.020 Well, I don't usually frequent Vegas, so I wasn't getting comped like I do at the Borgata.

00:08:54.580 If I call up my guy at the Borgata right now, I could get a suite and comped at the steakhouses. 0.97

00:09:01.020 Because they know I'm going to put my time in with my ass in the seat and win or lose. 0.98

00:09:07.140 It's what it is, as long as you're gambling. 0.99

00:09:10.920 And I don't have that in Vegas because I don't really frequent Vegas that much.

00:09:15.740 But when I was doing well, they were throwing cards at me.

00:09:20.860 All the hosts were throwing cards.

00:09:24.560 Hey, give me a call if you need anything. 1.00

00:09:26.900 And then that stack goes down and you can't find a waitress. 1.00

00:09:30.460 Of course.

00:09:31.000 He's banging cocktail waitresses two at a time.

00:09:34.920 So, you know, it's all part of the machine.

00:09:38.980 But I think the machine of Vegas has gotten so bad as far as the pleasure of the customers.

00:09:47.580 Now it's just how much money can we take from you and how little can we give you while we're doing it?

00:09:53.440 Well, it's also because everybody's gambling on their phone now.

00:09:55.660 Everybody has an app.

00:09:56.780 Everybody has all these things.

00:09:57.960 That's why it's killing. 1.00

00:09:59.120 Who's going to bring your dumb, fat family to Vegas and have to put your kid on a stupid Ferris wheel that goes through the casino? 1.00

00:10:06.380 Well, you could just gamble on your phone. 1.00

00:10:07.940 You know, you can leave your big wife in the house and go park in a Walgreens parking lot and gamble.

00:10:13.200 Little kids able to see some guy throw himself out a window.

00:10:16.000 I mean, that is the one part about going on Vegas vacation that's nice, is you can watch somebody just kind of jump off the top floor.

00:10:22.520 Completely lose it.

00:10:24.060 But, yeah, I see people with their family in Vegas.

00:10:26.620 I'm like, what are you doing?

00:10:28.520 I understand Vegas has gotten to the point where it's like, yeah, you dropped the kids off at the pirate ship in a casino.

00:10:33.580 know and uh but even if they do have entertainment for kids it's nothing that would compare to

00:10:39.840 disney or things that kids really want to do uh it's such a selfish thing for parents to do

00:10:46.320 for a vacation and i look and go like what what could you possibly be doing because it's

00:10:51.620 only about gambling it's only the wish of going home a winner yeah oh i'm gonna go to the big

00:10:59.200 ball there and see the Wizard of Oz

00:11:01.720 in the giant theater

00:11:03.600 and really

00:11:04.960 I actually do want to see 0.99

00:11:07.700 it's balls 0.99

00:11:08.840 I'm sitting in balls over here 0.99

00:11:11.580 it's like being born again 0.94

00:11:13.200 you run out the front door

00:11:15.020 and you wind up on a napkin

00:11:16.300 or your mouth

00:11:19.440 well you know

00:11:20.700 I wouldn't be wasteful

00:11:22.420 I do

00:11:24.540 that's my vows 0.97

00:11:26.160 doesn't AC suck down by the way 0.77

00:11:29.180 isn't ac like a kind of uh it's gotten like really i haven't done ac in a couple years

00:11:33.980 but it used to be like kind of fun and vibrant and now it's just kind of down all this legalized

00:11:37.980 gambling and all these casinos popping up it's ruined atlantic city it is absolutely that

00:11:43.120 especially with a place like ac because atlantic city was depending on the fact that new york just

00:11:49.900 did not have legal gambling you got what they had otb for a while they got those places like jake's

00:11:56.420 58 out on the expressway in suffolk county where you know it's all um uh computer blackjack and

00:12:03.800 it's not table games and people want a real casino and they had to go to atlantic city

00:12:10.900 or connecticut right once online uh gambling happened and you got these apps to do it people

00:12:18.740 are just like why am i driving all the way into the ass end of jersey to to go gamble and it's

00:12:25.020 hours you can't gamble when you're in the car that's hours you cannot be doing it and you don't

00:12:30.000 have to go to the atm you can just literally on your phone get money and put in your account it's

00:12:35.640 just so you know it's made every every addiction is exacerbated by the phone by the phone by apps

00:12:41.180 by science uh it's so true even drugs i guess you could just order drugs on the phone now right yeah

00:12:48.060 you can they they drop pot off at your house i don't do drugs because i just i know that i'd be

00:12:52.760 a very i'm a naughty boy with just looking at things i shouldn't look at oh i asked you so

00:12:58.160 many years ago like you stopped drinking at 18 no and i was like everyone drinks to excess and

00:13:06.040 to the point where they're so effed up uh what what made you think you could not mature and maybe

00:13:14.200 be able to enjoy and vibing some alcohol you just knew you were a problem i have that that i have

00:13:21.980 that personality man like i just it's like and if you see me lack thereof but if you watch me like

00:13:29.620 on uh like if i'm on a site and i'm looking at whatever you know and i'm ripping off layers of

00:13:35.060 skin you're like wow this guy is an addictive personality it's time to go to bed jim you can't

00:13:39.800 stop i just can't stop yeah it's addictive it's it's weird because at that age it's such a young

00:13:47.160 age it's a mature thought to to think i can't do this i i this will kill me or i will harm people

00:13:57.000 i love whatever it is but it's also the opposite because you're like yeah i i'm 18 and i know i

00:14:03.900 can't i know i can't do this anymore but i made up for it in other areas yes yeah believe me thank

00:14:08.540 god it is true that addiction uh can morph into a different thing it does every fat person you know

00:14:15.440 Oh, believe me, there's something going on there.

00:14:17.420 Every fat person you know, it's an addiction.

00:14:20.300 They didn't just get fat for no reason.

00:14:22.900 They're covering up something.

00:14:24.300 Every bite of a cookie is the wiping out of an uncle's hand from memory.

00:14:28.400 They just see that creepy, hairy hand coming in.

00:14:30.520 They're like, I'll have another cookie, please.

00:14:33.680 I think I'm over for my break, ain't I?

00:14:36.920 No?

00:14:37.640 Yeah, about that.

00:14:39.120 Yeah, it's regular radio, Jim.

00:14:41.200 They're a commercial break.

00:14:42.540 Gotta pay the bills.

00:14:43.840 Don't you go anywhere.

00:14:45.040 We got your calls.

00:14:46.360 We'll be taking them live and more of myself and the great Mr. Jim Norton when we return.

00:14:53.780 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

00:15:03.160 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

00:15:05.460 Entertaining and informative on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

00:15:10.220 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

00:15:11.920 Thanks for tuning in.

00:15:12.860 I got my great friend and great comedian, Mr. Jim Norton, with me in studio today, Jimmy.

00:15:20.800 For this evening, yes.

00:15:21.700 So good.

00:15:22.600 Yeah.

00:15:22.840 So good to have you here.

00:15:24.740 It conjures up great memories of yesteryear.

00:15:29.100 Yeah, it really does.

00:15:30.740 I'll never do anything more fun on radio than what we did.

00:15:34.120 It was a lot of fun.

00:15:36.240 And it was, I think back at it, I don't watch a lot of things.

00:15:40.340 people ask you all the time don't they if you watch the old shows and i don't watch the old

00:15:46.020 shows but i do watch certain clips that people post and those are amazing like i i will laugh

00:15:53.120 at um a five minute clip whatever it is of a segment that we did years ago and uh i'll remember

00:16:01.160 that moment and it's just so much fun thinking about yeah there's some some of them i'll go

00:16:05.860 over it's usually anthony makes jim laugh oh because that's just you being funny so i i don't

00:16:10.660 have to listen to myself or the uh the clip we did about things that might derail sam's wedding

00:16:15.880 which was a barbaric very funny i mean it was a lot of really uh very funny uh moments yeah i i

00:16:25.100 almost it depresses me to go back over it yeah there's a part of it that you know you you think

00:16:31.300 back and it was so much fun and you're like uh you know obviously we move on we do other things

00:16:37.180 uh some of you just brought up though the just bashing on sacred moments and and things that

00:16:45.620 people really uh are close about and it was such a huge part of what we did it was the entire show

00:16:51.460 it was say the cruelest thing humanly possible laugh for 11 minutes and then say something out

00:16:57.780 then tag it as as a comic how does that work i've always i've thought about it i i've been part of

00:17:06.700 it sure where you just say horrible things as a human being you know and there are people that 0.57

00:17:11.500 would uh deny that we are even human beings yes uh and they would be right garbage true uh you

00:17:18.040 look at it and go like god why why do i find such horrific stuff funny and you're not alone because

00:17:24.880 Obviously, the audience found it funny, too.

00:17:26.920 What is it with people?

00:17:28.040 There's this part of us where we feel that some of the most heinous stuff is absolutely hilarious.

00:17:34.300 I don't know what it is.

00:17:36.120 It's even worse when you're watching it back later and you're under your sheets and you're not laughing.

00:17:40.860 Why am I doing this to this video? 0.85

00:17:43.520 It's a beheading.

00:17:47.340 I don't know what it is.

00:17:48.840 It's the same thing that makes an actor play a serial.

00:17:50.900 I don't know.

00:17:51.320 Is it like kind of exploring the worst possible things?

00:17:54.740 I don't know what it is, but, man, the rottenness stuff has always made me laugh really hard.

00:18:00.620 I don't know why it is.

00:18:02.200 Recently, I put something on X, and it was like, I thought, that's really funny.

00:18:08.140 And I'm laughing about how horrible it is.

00:18:12.100 And I didn't consider it a nervous laughter, because sometimes you get that in awkward or bad situations.

00:18:20.740 You might chuckle.

00:18:22.300 The worst thing is at a funeral.

00:18:24.740 You know, you'll start laughing if you're sitting at a funeral,

00:18:28.440 and it's probably the worst taboo ever.

00:18:32.240 It is, but it's kind of common to let,

00:18:34.120 because people understand, well, you're kind of crying when you're laughing,

00:18:37.160 but again, when you're doing what I'm doing,

00:18:38.920 they're like, that's not laughing or crying.

00:18:40.420 Why is he doing that?

00:18:41.220 Look at this body.

00:18:42.400 Sit down, sir.

00:18:44.460 It was George Floyd's, but I, what?

00:18:47.980 That bad?

00:18:48.560 Should I not have?

00:18:49.480 Well, you know, I wouldn't do it over George Floyd.

00:18:51.320 It wouldn't turn me on.

00:18:52.760 I wouldn't be at the funeral.

00:18:54.160 No, you wouldn't be invited.

00:18:55.520 Gold casket.

00:18:57.100 Yeah, there's just a type of humor where you feel compelled to laugh, and it's so, so inappropriate.

00:19:03.580 But there's no bigger laugh than those awful things.

00:19:07.900 Like, they just hit you in the stomach in a way that no polite, you know what I mean?

00:19:12.060 No fun, good-natured, acceptable joke does.

00:19:15.760 The more disgusting it would be to the public, the harder it's going to make me laugh.

00:19:20.220 Some of the breaks we did on, we just mentioned it at the restaurant.

00:19:27.640 What's his name that killed his pregnant wife?

00:19:29.500 Oh, Scott Peterson.

00:19:30.680 Scott Peterson.

00:19:31.560 We did breaks on Scott Peterson and his poor wife and the little unborn child, Connor.

00:19:40.040 And people still send me the clip.

00:19:42.580 They still talk about how hilarious that was.

00:19:44.920 how the hell do you make could possibly be the most tragic thing to happen yeah and somehow you

00:19:53.460 find what humor in it well you make the thing is at that time that people were doing these awful

00:19:58.920 song tributes yes and they would just be and again they're using a tragedy tragedy in capital

00:20:03.920 so yeah yeah we started mocking their songs and there was one where the guy goes uh he was doing

00:20:10.100 a child's voice and he goes mama these for you about flying you said it's a bouquet of seaweed

00:20:15.080 yes they were of course found in the ocean they were so and it really made me laugh

00:20:20.060 remembering lacy oh yes it was remembering lacy oh god that's the name of the song remembering

00:20:26.840 lacy and and i guess in heaven uh the the little unborn kid is giving his mommy flowers and we

00:20:33.620 thought it would be hilarious if since they washed up on a beach the kid had a handful of

00:20:38.300 he goes mama these for you and you said it's a bouquet of seaweed i mean the horrible susan

00:20:44.700 smith story why are we going backwards backwards so many things it never should have been said so

00:20:49.980 many horrible instances that we found hilariously funny and you know i still laugh at stuff like

00:20:57.680 that it's not like i go oh that that was terrible yeah i still laugh it's just such a weird thing

00:21:03.480 to find humor in something so tragic and heinous but that's why when you find other people who

00:21:09.700 also enjoy that there's no bond greater yeah knowing you can make fun of this stuff with

00:21:15.760 some because there's nothing that's a bigger turnoff than somebody who's like whoa yeah as

00:21:20.440 a person it's like completely shuts everything down what are you doing yeah it's like somebody

00:21:25.580 who goes with that type of stuff oh when they go you're they're your co-host it happens what are

00:21:32.160 going to do but uh it is it is true that uh there is this morbid gallows humor i guess a lot of cops

00:21:39.960 and um emts have this weird sense of humor that is based on the fact that they're seeing horrible

00:21:48.360 stuff every day and uh i always found that a little weird too well they said that when when

00:21:53.380 john johnway and gacy when they were bringing bodies out they were just joking about like yeah

00:21:59.560 Just making, making a, like they would find a head. 0.98

00:22:01.960 Well, just they were gay. 1.00

00:22:03.060 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:22:04.580 And they're like, oh, I have a clown suit and I've done this. 1.00

00:22:07.980 Big, dumb, fat clown. 1.00

00:22:09.680 It's the last thing you see. 1.00

00:22:11.140 By the way, you know about John Wayne Gacy?

00:22:12.340 There was one guy, he was like a teenager when John Wayne Gacy tried to assault him,

00:22:15.940 but he got away.

00:22:17.120 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:17.940 And then years later, bumped into him.

00:22:19.780 He's like, you remember me? 0.96

00:22:21.420 And the guy was with his family, so he didn't kick the crap out of Gacy.

00:22:25.120 but he saw Gacy out

00:22:26.740 and Gacy kind of remembered

00:22:27.980 oh this is one of the guys

00:22:28.940 I tried

00:22:29.620 wow

00:22:30.180 who like 0.76

00:22:31.160 threw him on the ground

00:22:31.920 and ran up the door

00:22:32.680 that's gotta be terrible

00:22:33.560 oh it is

00:22:34.080 trust me

00:22:34.520 cute little kid

00:22:35.520 and another big man 0.99

00:22:36.560 that wants to beat you up

00:22:37.500 no he was

00:22:38.180 but he was a teenager

00:22:38.960 back in a flash

00:22:40.060 it's the Anthony Cumia show

00:22:42.780 on the Red Apple Podcast Network

00:22:45.120 a safer Ontario

00:22:49.160 means more police

00:22:50.260 and prosecutors

00:22:50.920 making sure my car

00:22:52.080 doesn't get stolen

00:22:52.880 it means building new jails

00:22:54.760 to keep criminals behind bars.

00:22:57.060 And it means there's no need to worry when I play at the park.

00:23:00.380 We're making every corner of Ontario safer

00:23:02.660 to make all of Ontario safer.

00:23:05.020 That's how we protect Ontario.

00:23:07.040 For all of us.

00:23:09.120 Learn how at Ontario.ca slash Safer Ontario.

00:23:12.220 Paid for by the Government of Ontario.

00:23:20.420 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

00:23:22.660 Entertaining and informative.

00:23:24.760 on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

00:23:29.400 It's the Anthony Cumia Show

00:23:31.560 with Jim Norton joining us.

00:23:36.460 I'm putting up a post on... 1.00

00:23:38.180 That's an old man thing. 1.00

00:23:39.380 I was just putting it up on those Instagram stories 1.00

00:23:42.380 to let people know that we're on.

00:23:44.160 And I just put the volume on full blast as you come on.

00:23:46.520 My stories.

00:23:49.000 It does feel weird when you're not a kid

00:23:52.460 and you're using the internet and it's business at this point you know you're plugging stuff you're

00:23:59.460 almost said yeah you're promoting stuff and uh you know but still i i consider myself pretty tech

00:24:06.580 savvy so i'm not there's plenty of things for me to be embarrassed about sure but not uh sure thank

00:24:12.820 you but not uh that i can't understand right you're not a technological it's just a blithering 0.93

00:24:18.880 idiot with technology i think i just skated beyond that um boomer thing yeah yeah i'm more 0.99

00:24:25.080 gen x i think than boomer when it comes to tech because boom watching boomers struggle with their 0.99

00:24:30.440 phone i have a jitterbug phone in case my hot gives out i press the big button and yeah it's

00:24:36.980 interpersonal relationships that you've totally hit the wall that is where i'm completely devoid

00:24:43.020 of any. Raymond

00:24:45.120 from Setauket,

00:24:47.100 New York. Raymond,

00:24:49.040 how are you, sir?

00:24:51.020 I'm fine. How are you, sir?

00:24:52.720 Very good.

00:24:54.900 Good. First time

00:24:56.880 call to your show.

00:24:58.900 What? Yeah, I

00:25:00.900 got a couple questions for

00:25:02.820 Norton. Oh, Jimmy Norton.

00:25:06.120 Yes, of

00:25:06.860 course, sir. So

00:25:08.640 the funniest thing I've ever heard you ever

00:25:10.720 say is you got

00:25:13.020 Two free seats on the Challenger.

00:25:17.060 I don't remember saying that.

00:25:18.560 I don't remember that.

00:25:19.760 I did not remember that I said that.

00:25:21.720 It was a couple of months ago.

00:25:23.440 A couple of months ago?

00:25:24.600 That was the swatiest dancing I've ever heard about in my life.

00:25:26.780 Well, I can understand how that would be funny with a setup.

00:25:29.980 Yeah, like you go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, two free seats on the Challenger.

00:25:33.680 Where did I say it, sir?

00:25:34.940 Where did you hear me say that?

00:25:36.060 Give us some context.

00:25:37.320 What were you doing?

00:25:38.180 Who were you with?

00:25:40.220 Don't lie because we'll know.

00:25:41.760 Don't lie or I'll know.

00:25:43.020 What is your worst memory from childhood, besides telling a story that goes nowhere on the radio?

00:25:49.280 What's my worst?

00:25:50.620 Yeah, it was 1986.

00:25:52.340 Yeah, I got you.

00:25:53.760 Okay.

00:25:54.260 All right.

00:25:54.640 Raymond, thank you so much for the call, Raymond.

00:25:56.920 Yes.

00:25:57.120 Isn't it great when you could just push a button?

00:25:59.660 Remember, 246, Raymond.

00:26:02.060 Yes, yes.

00:26:03.640 Kevin, Kevin from Long Beach, New York.

00:26:07.460 What's up, Kev?

00:26:09.160 How are you doing, Ed?

00:26:10.020 Hey, this is a treat.

00:26:11.140 How are you doing, Jimmy?

00:26:11.820 Hello, sir.

00:26:12.540 Great.

00:26:13.020 Of course, it's a treat.

00:26:14.200 Yeah.

00:26:14.860 You were talking before about the old O&A shows.

00:26:17.220 I am, like, addicted.

00:26:18.220 I mean, I heard them all back then.

00:26:20.120 But, you know, I'm 68 now, so I've forgotten quite a bit.

00:26:23.000 Ah, you are.

00:26:24.420 Hey, tell me about it.

00:26:25.480 Right?

00:26:25.820 Am I right?

00:26:26.440 Putting your shoes in the refrigerator.

00:26:28.040 I understand.

00:26:31.300 Car keys are in your cereal bowl.

00:26:33.520 Honey. 1.00

00:26:34.620 His wife's eating cat food.

00:26:35.860 I remember the O&A show.

00:26:38.440 That's great.

00:26:39.060 You're like Gene Hackman and his wife.

00:26:40.400 Your dog's just in the cage.

00:26:41.520 No one's walking them.

00:26:42.280 she's taking the medication you're driving for a starbucks eating mice feces

00:26:47.700 go ahead sir sorry yes mark god or kevin sorry kevin yes that's what i miss is the brutality

00:26:56.180 of the humor you guys used to do back then was just you never heard anything like before i mean

00:27:01.440 you heard rickles and stuff but this is like rickles on 10 you know it was uh it was just

00:27:06.580 great and my son used to get into it so we you know go back son's attempting to bring

00:27:11.440 an outside joke into this

00:27:13.360 situation.

00:27:14.820 Your son needs to be corrected.

00:27:18.860 Hey, 0.98

00:27:19.580 you're the senile caller. 0.66

00:27:21.400 Didn't you leave your keys in the fridge and then 0.98

00:27:23.340 give your wife cat food? I'd keep going,

00:27:25.500 but it might be a problem on terrestrial

00:27:27.480 radio. I'm literally one line away from

00:27:29.300 losing you this gig.

00:27:34.700 Yes,

00:27:35.360 Kevin, back in the...

00:27:37.580 Were you a WNEW

00:27:39.240 guy or a SiriusXM guy?

00:27:41.440 yeah yes all of it all of it all right all right good to hear to him you know on youtube

00:27:48.200 and i go every day i listen to him every day and just you know this is great to hear but

00:27:53.960 how prescient you guys were politically yeah you know a lot of people uh kind of forget uh

00:28:00.600 because it cost me my job no we we would touch on politics and things like our job and it was

00:28:06.760 sorry but it was all funny like there are clips from when obama got elected and i remember that

00:28:15.340 and people would think oh anthony just bitching about obama which is true i did but it was done

00:28:22.200 in a way that was a funny shock jockey kind of show it wasn't just bitching the songs yeah that

00:28:29.800 drew boogie made using some of the phone calls that we'd get and things like that that differentiated

00:28:37.340 us from a lot of the just political shows that were bitching about it and um people will say

00:28:44.760 like well you know why are you funny why don't you do just because you're talking politics doesn't

00:28:50.020 mean you can't inject a little humor in sure i i love to i love to talk politics and make little

00:28:56.800 jokes about you know the dems and the repubs oh forget it i'll inject a little humor you know 0.67

00:29:03.720 what i say libtards oh that's a good one i say cuck is anyone still using libtard i i guess they 0.83

00:29:12.460 are and that's they they are yeah online you'll read somebody who somebody you like will put some 0.78

00:29:16.840 my instagram and they'll say libtard you're like oh god i replace live with re it's a lot more

00:29:22.400 accurate anyway thank you kevin i do appreciate your uh your call sure uh there are a couple of

00:29:30.440 things i wanted to get what did you want to get to well a couple of things um i i was talking

00:29:36.940 about new york i started this top of the show but then of course tangent uh mother is calling

00:29:43.260 for mother's day sorry oh oh tell mom i said i can't enter it now but i sent my mother's dead

00:29:50.100 her health won't allow it

00:29:54.140 I sent my mother a message before

00:29:56.760 and my dad just texted me and goes

00:29:58.320 hey don't forget it's Mother's Day

00:29:59.480 I'm like I left a message

00:30:00.500 so now mom is calling

00:30:02.440 but I'll tell her I'm on the radio

00:30:05.500 yeah yeah yeah

00:30:06.560 that's great

00:30:07.700 what's it like having a mom?

00:30:09.400 is that awesome?

00:30:10.620 I mean it really

00:30:11.440 it makes you feel glad to be alive

00:30:13.760 and I can't imagine not having one

00:30:16.620 it's wonderful

00:30:17.820 it gives me a reason to wake up every day

00:30:19.640 Yeah, I'm like, you know, you're an orphan.

00:30:22.480 Life goes on.

00:30:23.400 You're a little orphan.

00:30:23.980 I'm a little orphan child.

00:30:25.640 You're like little orphan.

00:30:27.260 It happens.

00:30:28.020 Little orphan Anthony.

00:30:28.940 You know, I think a lot of people my age and sometimes it's like you don't want to see

00:30:35.960 them at an age where they're just falling apart.

00:30:38.980 I don't think, you know, there's a plus and a minus to that.

00:30:42.520 A lot of people's moms, they're healthy, vibrant people and others, you know, what

00:30:47.260 are you going to the next five years you gotta and i think that's going to take up your memory of

00:30:53.040 them and maybe uh negate all those wonderful times you had in your youth probably but i mean i figure

00:31:00.160 at that point it's just i'm making up and kind of just offer doing this a small caliber weapon

00:31:06.980 yeah offer a vacation to a hey you want to take a trip to a little pod in sweden in the woods

00:31:14.440 i think canada canada will do it yeah they'll do it this is wonderful it's air conditioned

00:31:21.900 oh this is so now breathe deeply yeah press that red button because there's no going back

00:31:26.880 you're looking through the will if she does it

00:31:29.020 that is an insane prospect that we've gotten at that point yeah it's kind of this soylent green

00:31:37.680 part of that movie soylent green was the fact that people were able to uh pick their own day

00:31:43.900 of demise and they put him somewhere nice and they showed him great movies and uh images of

00:31:50.620 their youth and then they killed it and we thought that was science fiction that was something that

00:31:55.360 was never going to happen and now in certain parts of the world yeah you could just be like 0.88

00:31:59.120 ow my knee hurts kill me i mean i kind of like it i support it do sure because you want to kill

00:32:05.060 yourself every day though i know i know you just want it available i would literally on my phone

00:32:09.840 Instead of my dog, I'd have a picture of a pod going soon.

00:32:12.840 No, but it's more like, hey, look, you can do it anyway. 1.00

00:32:15.360 You can stab yourself. 1.00

00:32:16.340 You can shoot yourself. 1.00

00:32:17.880 It's a possibility in real life anyway. 0.51

00:32:20.320 So why not do it in a way that is out of everybody else's way, that is cleaner, that is more peaceful.

00:32:26.780 There's no mess on the sidewalk.

00:32:30.360 You don't have to pretend you're running to catch a Frontier Airlines flight.

00:32:33.040 oh we have sorry we have a uh a severed finger allergy in the coach so please no severed fingers

00:32:44.500 do you think it brings up like uh religious uh aspects or or um moral implications because it

00:32:55.140 does seem like if you just kill yourself there's a stigma on that and there's uh religions that say

00:33:01.740 now you can't do this that uh is it except i wouldn't think even that other people pressing

00:33:09.300 the button or putting you in a machine uh i don't think the catholic religion is hip on that one no

00:33:14.340 none of them are but i've seen a lot of these like real conservative guys going like yeah this is

00:33:18.220 terrible to have you should be a and then they're for the death penalty so i guess like the state 0.96

00:33:23.460 can decide to kill you because you're a bad boy woman with leukemia just offed five people in the 1.00

00:33:28.060 No, but she's probably driving slow, draining the inheritance. 1.00

00:33:31.080 Those are penalties where death is the appropriate punishment.

00:33:33.600 I can't disagree with that. 1.00

00:33:35.260 I have my eye on Alexis, you old bag. 1.00

00:33:37.140 You got to go in for another drip into your stupid porch. 1.00

00:33:44.840 Yeah, I never got the – because liberals will say that. 1.00

00:33:50.180 They'll say, oh, you're against abortion, but you're for the death penalty.

00:33:54.700 It's like, yeah.

00:33:56.280 How do you see that as a bad thing?

00:33:58.940 Abortion is different. 0.99

00:33:59.900 Abortion is like a kid. 0.70

00:34:01.180 Like, I get that argument. 0.69

00:34:02.480 But, like, if you're an adult and you want to kill yourself, you should just be able to.

00:34:05.340 Like, I don't care if people do it.

00:34:07.160 As a matter of fact, I've been leaving flyers around the house.

00:34:10.040 Oh, jeez.

00:34:12.160 That's right.

00:34:12.720 You're married now.

00:34:13.460 I am married.

00:34:14.500 I'll leave a flyer.

00:34:15.600 I'll be like, oh, a nice train ride up.

00:34:17.000 You kidding?

00:34:17.320 The honeymoon's over.

00:34:18.200 Oh, boy.

00:34:21.980 I love it.

00:34:22.840 it's uh how is how are things going with you and the missus they're good i mean like it's

00:34:28.180 being married is a challenge it is it's it's just sharing your space and like the the things that

00:34:35.100 everybody complains about all the time yes you and your wife you're like wait there was a viagra here

00:34:40.480 you know how it is who took it at least you don't have to argue about that uh toilet seat thing that

00:34:47.180 couples always argue about 1.00

00:34:48.800 I tripped over that one

00:34:51.580 didn't I? I mean it was

00:34:53.080 it was a cute effort

00:34:54.200 toilet seat thing

00:34:57.420 I'm not

00:34:58.080 but then you explain that couples will occasionally argue

00:35:01.440 yes yes the toilet paper going over

00:35:03.420 or under well that's a big

00:35:04.940 controversy yeah no it's

00:35:07.040 okay I mean I love her but

00:35:09.200 the idea of being married is like my

00:35:10.840 you know I was miserable when I was single

00:35:13.360 didn't you know you were getting into that though

00:35:15.040 you couldn't have thought like oh 0.52

00:35:17.000 marriage is going to be better than just living with someone or anything did you live with a girl

00:35:22.320 for no she's the first one i ever lived with whoa during the pandemic oh that's crazy but that's

00:35:27.780 like when someone gets lung cancer from smoking and you go well didn't you know i like how you

00:35:32.060 equate it to a terminal disease absolutely and i'm putting i'm putting this on the i'm saying

00:35:36.520 that would be a preference um but no you know it's like when you're doing something you don't

00:35:41.460 always realize the other but it's not that bad i mean i'm happy to be married i don't want to get

00:35:45.680 divorced i mean no no but that's what keeps a lot of marriages together is i don't want to get

00:35:49.920 divorced doesn't mean you're you're doing great like i didn't want to get divorced either i stayed

00:35:54.940 married for nine years in a marriage that i knew was done in one year yeah one year after i got

00:36:01.500 married i'm like this is an abomination against jesus i knew it was just terrible but then getting

00:36:10.380 the radio gig, that took up

00:36:12.480 all of my energy

00:36:14.360 and thought and creativity.

00:36:16.220 I was just like, this is just, yeah, I got a little bit

00:36:18.440 of an albatross with me dealing with that.

00:36:20.200 Background noise, yeah.

00:36:22.180 And then, you know, nine years later,

00:36:24.340 I sacrificed a million dollars

00:36:26.360 and said, I'm out of this.

00:36:28.920 But I

00:36:30.040 didn't really know what I was getting myself into.

00:36:33.020 Maybe I did

00:36:33.900 unconsciously. I was a lot older when I got married to you.

00:36:36.640 You were in your 20s.

00:36:37.580 I was 30. I was in my 50s.

00:36:40.380 Oh, my goodness.

00:36:41.260 Yeah.

00:36:42.180 But, you know, you love your wife.

00:36:44.400 Yes, I do.

00:36:45.080 That's what happens.

00:36:46.260 And, you know, what is it about it?

00:36:48.720 Is it the constant companionship?

00:36:54.120 No, because I'm on the road and stuff. 1.00

00:36:56.380 And it's not about the hookers that I really want to see but can't. 0.97

00:37:00.320 It's not. 0.66

00:37:00.900 I'm not a guest who's in town and I can't go.

00:37:02.720 No, it's not about that.

00:37:04.280 It's really about when you're single, you're like, I don't know what's next.

00:37:07.860 There's this really weird delusion you have that there's still light.

00:37:11.300 You don't know where it's going to go.

00:37:12.820 It's called hope.

00:37:13.400 Yes, it is called hope.

00:37:14.420 That just goes away, Jimmy.

00:37:15.400 It does go away.

00:37:16.440 It's like I know how miners feel when the hole closes and everything collapses.

00:37:20.580 I'm like, oh, yeah.

00:37:21.180 Oh, I know how miners feel, too, but the other way.

00:37:24.800 No, it's the same way.

00:37:27.220 The hole collapses and it's over, Johnny.

00:37:33.460 Yeah.

00:37:33.860 But you know that feeling of there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

00:37:36.440 because I've already, like, now I'm married,

00:37:39.200 so I know who I'm going to be with.

00:37:40.500 Even though she's the one, like,

00:37:41.580 there's no one else I should be with.

00:37:43.240 It's irrational and it's childish thinking.

00:37:46.420 It's not like anything she's doing.

00:37:47.760 It is immature thinking.

00:37:49.940 At some point, you have to, you know,

00:37:52.840 my Uncle Tony told me once.

00:37:54.720 Oh, no.

00:37:55.300 I know.

00:37:56.320 It's going to be an ugly story.

00:37:57.620 Yes.

00:37:58.140 He was rubbing his beard on me.

00:38:00.020 No, smell this.

00:38:00.880 Yes, the pillow.

00:38:02.120 He said, you know, what are you looking to do?

00:38:05.700 like as far as relationships go because i was a mental page just madhouse i broke up with a girl

00:38:11.460 after nine years and every subsequent relationship was pretty much nine years yeah i'd only had a

00:38:17.400 very limited amount of girls but they were uh monogamous long-term relationships and then after

00:38:23.160 the last one that was about 2000 uh 2009 somewhere around there i just went yeah i'm going just nuts

00:38:33.860 yeah i'm gonna be the guy that i wasn't in my youth that you couldn't be that i couldn't be

00:38:39.480 yeah and uh it was great it was fun but it was a little nerve-wracking a little challenging

00:38:45.080 sure i got caught a few times uh being a bad boy that's the worst it's it's so bad when you just

00:38:52.740 know how'd you get caught what's one of the ways you got caught one of the ways my my rat

00:38:59.400 my rat passport got me oh i was going um to the bahamas with uh my girlfriend and uh i had my

00:39:11.540 passport we both had our passports and she was looking at hers and going oh i've been here here

00:39:16.120 here she was where have you been and i'm like oh so she starts looking through the stamps in my

00:39:23.640 passport and she sees halifax canada during a time during the month and year that we were still

00:39:29.700 together we had been together and she knew that uh ray lynn lived up in in canada but didn't she

00:39:37.020 remember you told her i'm going to halifax well you hadn't said you were doing something else did

00:39:41.500 you oh jimmy oh no i said i'm going up to halifax i'm building a schooner they want me to help

00:39:48.820 Build a schooner for them in Halifax.

00:39:52.460 Oh, no.

00:39:53.660 Yeah.

00:39:53.940 Were you at the airport going to the Bahamas?

00:39:55.840 No, we were still at home.

00:39:57.680 But, yeah, that caused a big fight.

00:40:01.300 I've had the phone thrown at me so many times because I was in the bathroom.

00:40:05.840 I'm doing it and it must have buzzed. 1.00

00:40:08.500 The girl picked it up and then just opens the door.

00:40:11.860 I'm trying to have a nice, peaceful defecation. 0.81

00:40:14.480 Sure. 0.92

00:40:14.640 And the phone flies at my head.

00:40:16.440 I'm like, all right.

00:40:17.740 That's why I've removed all notifications years ago, 2 o'clock in the morning.

00:40:27.060 The vibrate on the wood nightstand.

00:40:29.720 And they're going, who is that?

00:40:31.220 I'm like, gosh, my friend in L.A.

00:40:32.960 He's cheating.

00:40:34.240 He's cheating.

00:40:35.640 He's cheating.

00:40:36.400 Yeah, absolutely. 1.00

00:40:37.440 And I told you there was one hooker I used to see. 0.91

00:40:41.340 And I had put. 1.00

00:40:42.200 She's a hooker. 1.00

00:40:43.620 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:44.100 But I put for her name because she was texting.

00:40:46.160 and I just went into the bathroom and I put Anthony as her name

00:40:49.880 and I said I was talking to you. 0.99

00:40:51.940 I'm a hooker. 0.99

00:40:52.600 Yeah, but she didn't believe it. 0.99

00:40:54.140 Didn't buy it.

00:40:55.020 No, she had seen the girl's name already.

00:40:56.820 No, the fake names are so rookie.

00:40:59.020 It doesn't work anymore.

00:41:00.960 Like I had President Trump and it was.

00:41:03.840 Why is he sending you a picture of this?

00:41:05.380 Oh, I don't know.

00:41:06.840 I love it.

00:41:08.180 All right.

00:41:09.100 What is it?

00:41:10.080 Oh, no, look, we got time.

00:41:12.340 We got a minute.

00:41:13.800 All right, I'll just wait.

00:41:14.640 I'll use the minute in like 30 seconds.

00:41:18.140 Is that okay?

00:41:18.560 Oh, wait, but that's 30.

00:41:19.940 That's right.

00:41:20.500 Imagine if we didn't know what to say.

00:41:21.340 We were like, I have a lot of crazy stuff going on, just hoping to stretch to a minute.

00:41:24.760 Oh, there have been some shows.

00:41:26.160 Sure.

00:41:26.680 You know, you've had guests where you're like, let me get my dentist.

00:41:30.540 Is it safe?

00:41:31.680 Yeah.

00:41:31.860 Is it safe?

00:41:33.020 Right after sitting down going, how you doing?

00:41:35.140 You're like 59, 45 left.

00:41:39.060 Yuck.

00:41:39.420 Your eyes are burning holes in the clock.

00:41:42.140 But you want to say to people, have you never talked into a mic before?

00:41:45.600 Yes.

00:41:45.820 How do you not go back and forth?

00:41:47.560 And they seem to be like, they're the ones here to promote something.

00:41:52.140 Talk about it.

00:41:53.220 Talk about it.

00:41:54.160 I just discussed that.

00:41:55.760 There was a Seth Rogen.

00:41:57.580 Of course, the Paris Hilton one was a classic example of somebody not really give and take.

00:42:05.580 But, yeah, maybe we'll talk a little about the Seth Rogen thing because it involves not only Seth.

00:42:11.120 Yeah, not only that, though, but the whole weed thing.

00:42:14.120 We'll get into it back in a moment.

00:42:16.900 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

00:42:26.020 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

00:42:32.320 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

00:42:33.960 I'm here live in New York City with the great Mr. Jim Norton.

00:42:38.520 Big Apple.

00:42:39.160 Oh, yeah, the Big Apple.

00:42:41.120 The hotel I usually stay in, it's by the old Compound Studios near Madison Square Garden.

00:42:49.520 And 3 a.m. last night, you don't even say this morning at that point, it was last night.

00:42:58.700 On the street, a car was parked, all the doors opened, the trunk opened with one of those giant speakers.

00:43:04.320 and it was blasting latin music with a bunch of people dancing and yelling on the sidewalk

00:43:11.460 and this went on for an hour and i don't look i'm up i'm uh what they call a night bird yeah

00:43:18.520 and uh it doesn't matter but i'm assuming 99 of the people in that hotel

00:43:23.600 wanted to sleep at 3 a.m yeah and no one did anything about it i mean like you should have

00:43:31.380 You should use the argument, the line my grandmother used to use.

00:43:34.680 When somebody was being rude, she'd say, oh, hooray for me, the hell with you, huh? 1.00

00:43:38.960 That was my grandmother's line when somebody was doing something rude. 0.95

00:43:43.100 Would I get hooray for me out before the knife went into my neck?

00:43:46.040 Probably not, no.

00:43:46.800 Yeah, I didn't think I would. 0.99

00:43:47.620 Hooray for me, the hell with you. 0.99

00:43:49.760 Yeah, it's just selfish. 1.00

00:43:50.660 What a great, stupid old saying. 1.00

00:43:52.820 Oh, my gosh. 1.00

00:43:53.460 You would say that whenever somebody sped by her in the car, which was always conserved cobweb.

00:43:59.100 Would she say that when you finished first?

00:44:01.380 not only when i finished first but when she felt me kicking her off the bed 1.00

00:44:06.480 before she got she said hooray for me and then she just feel the thud of my foot right in her hip 1.00

00:44:16.300 i hear the hell with you as she went over the end i got i just can't imagine because you think

00:44:26.760 about you know there's supposed to be some law and order i guess i don't know and uh you just 0.76

00:44:34.420 got to deal with it and i mean no one wants to be the crotchety old guy shaking his fist and

00:44:40.560 but 3 a.m that's unreasonable that kind of thing you would think there were not just i don't like

00:44:45.720 it society has deemed that unacceptable behavior and have put checks and balances in place to make

00:44:52.580 sure that doesn't happen and they're just not being used 11 11 p.m on a saturday all right right

00:44:59.460 i got it if it's a sunday night or whatever uh wait wait wait it was a saturday it was

00:45:05.060 3 a.m and it wasn't part of a club or anything it's just people some dopes you know yelling

00:45:11.560 out there maybe i do sound crotch no you don't know with that if it was 11 o'clock i'd be like

00:45:15.960 you are you're selling an old man but three in the morning it's like now they're creeps just part of

00:45:20.440 um new york city you you live here i bailed out i'm way up high though so i don't hear much street

00:45:26.600 noise yeah what what is your take though on the have you noticed anything as a resident of new

00:45:32.380 york city since mem danny got in that is affecting you in any way not really not yet yeah we'll see

00:45:38.280 how in taxes uh what what it looks like right right but i'm making less than i made two years

00:45:42.600 ago too so i i this probably that's why i won't pay as much but no i haven't really seen much of

00:45:46.980 a difference yeah yet no nothing did you did you vote for him i did not okay i did not just just

00:45:54.220 inquiring no no i didn't i voted for cuomo uh i wanted guy curtis had zero shot curtis and i had

00:46:00.680 the same shot yeah i said i'm gonna vote for cuomo who i like more than i like mom donnie

00:46:05.500 curtis is beloved here at uh wabc oh oh that's right he's he's not all right yes and i voted

00:46:13.820 for cuomo yeah but here's another thing though you are you know while you are an everyman jim

00:46:19.560 thank you very much you don't every man you don't take public transportation um no actually last

00:46:29.560 night we went to ufc 328 we did take new jersey transit um but i don't take much public transit

00:46:35.640 no once in a while i'll take the subway you will occasionally yeah sure i mean uh but it's always 0.99

00:46:40.460 it sucks yeah yeah these bums all over the place these dopes don't want to lock people up for 0.83

00:46:45.680 urinating on the train yeah that's very annoying homicides up 300 percent are they really since 0.99

00:46:51.820 the first of the year i didn't know uh in in the subway system is that good oh that's bad all right

00:46:57.720 i think that's supposed to be bad well it all depends on who's being killed yeah i think i

00:47:02.920 could look at it and you know lemons lemonade but uh truth be told uh it doesn't seem good for

00:47:13.340 the people that are working going like nine to five jobs they use public transportation they

00:47:20.200 commute in from the suburbs i don't know it does and it's not just because mandani is a communist 0.99

00:47:26.440 piece of crap liberal muslim guy do you not like him oh no i love all right yeah i thought you were 0.99

00:47:32.540 his smile on those instagram videos there's he's very creepy looking and that's coming from us 1.00

00:47:38.280 his supporters love him and they think he's like this great guy but uh truth of the matter is

00:47:47.060 he just he just i guess demoted a police captain to from police captain nypd to taking calls at a

00:47:57.320 911 center because he was caught on uh audio bad mouthing oh yeah yeah yeah and then and then

00:48:04.180 didn't he show up uh didn't he punch a young war hero in the face for trying to protect his father

00:48:09.820 at the hospital i love the references they just exactly if you're under 60 you have no idea what

00:48:19.880 i'm never and these ancient uh references any woman who gets my references i don't want to

00:48:24.840 sleep with why because you're too old all right kids we will be back in moments don't go anywhere

00:48:31.000 more of the anthony cumia show with jim norton in a moment it's the anthony cumia show on the red

00:48:36.980 apple podcast network it's the anthony cumia show entertaining and informative on the red apple

00:48:49.040 podcast network yes let us start our two of the anthony cumia show mr jim norton joins us this

00:48:57.120 evening uh top of the uh show we were talking about you and of course louis ck yeah on your

00:49:03.600 world tour and i was following your uh your social media and uh first of all hilarious thank you uh

00:49:13.300 And infuriating.

00:49:15.180 Apparently, my hand gets in the way once in a while.

00:49:17.680 That was the worst thing.

00:49:19.080 When people take trips and they go to these exotic, faraway, historic places and they take video of it, it's so people could see it.

00:49:28.880 Yeah.

00:49:29.740 You would put the camera on whatever you did, but point, point with your finger in the middle of the picture.

00:49:40.160 Thus, we could not see the wonderfulness of the history.

00:49:43.880 Yeah, every system has a flaw.

00:49:45.280 Sure.

00:49:45.760 Sure, I'm an easy target.

00:49:47.380 It's easy to poke fun.

00:49:49.000 Yeah, I made a bunch that I never even put up yet.

00:49:50.760 Like, I just, we were in, we started in Romania.

00:49:55.200 Then we did Bulgaria.

00:49:56.700 After Bulgaria, it was Athens.

00:49:58.760 From Athens to Istanbul. 0.85

00:50:00.320 From Istanbul to three cities in India.

00:50:02.500 Oh, my God. 0.93

00:50:03.200 After India, we did, where was it? 0.94

00:50:06.520 Hong Kong.

00:50:07.500 And then.

00:50:08.080 do you know king kong was once in hong kong rumor has it he was playing ping pong get this

00:50:15.740 with his ding dong i have not heard that i but i heard that ever since i was a child so

00:50:21.660 hong kong i don't disbelieve it because it was a psyop so they had king kong with his ding dong

00:50:29.080 It was a false flag

00:50:31.860 Was it? 1.00

00:50:32.920 Shut up 1.00

00:50:33.900 Stupid terms you hear other people say 1.00

00:50:38.500 It was a false flag 1.00

00:50:40.260 But they told him to stand down

00:50:42.400 King Kong was told

00:50:44.100 To stand down his ding dong

00:50:46.780 To stand down 0.97

00:50:50.420 By the way people

00:50:52.160 You're getting the word stand down

00:50:53.840 They're taking that from war games 0.85

00:50:55.640 Remember that when Whopper 1.00

00:50:58.200 Well, John, just unplug the damn thing. 0.99

00:51:01.200 Yeah, stand down. 0.99

00:51:02.200 They don't want to sound like they're in the know.

00:51:04.140 JFK, too.

00:51:04.640 Wasn't it JFK, the movie that was like stand down?

00:51:07.760 Oh, yeah.

00:51:08.360 I just think of the war games.

00:51:09.580 They took Donald Sutherland.

00:51:10.880 That's when they were told to stand down.

00:51:12.920 Yeah, his cameo was great in that, by the way.

00:51:15.540 I loved that part.

00:51:16.860 I could watch that clip of just him.

00:51:19.220 Yeah.

00:51:19.840 It's so good.

00:51:20.740 It was two people.

00:51:21.580 He was playing kind of like an amalgamation of two different people.

00:51:24.520 Yeah, yeah.

00:51:24.840 One was a guy, Purdy, and I forget the other guy.

00:51:27.340 Oh, the other guy was cute, too.

00:51:29.540 Right?

00:51:30.620 Purdy.

00:51:32.920 I didn't catch that.

00:51:37.120 Of course you didn't.

00:51:38.540 That was literally life-draining.

00:51:44.440 All right.

00:51:46.780 Yeah, that was such a good...

00:51:48.120 Donald Sutherland was so great.

00:51:49.920 He was.

00:51:50.240 By the way, back to the trip.

00:51:51.500 The trip was amazing.

00:51:52.700 Louis sells out everywhere.

00:51:54.060 The best show we had, they were all good.

00:51:55.940 best show is in Mumbai, India

00:51:57.800 2,700 people

00:51:59.920 and Louis could have done bigger

00:52:02.220 but he only, he didn't want to do giant

00:52:04.280 theaters because he would leave a lot of time

00:52:06.100 in between shows because he really

00:52:08.160 wanted to see these places, like that's why he

00:52:09.980 booked this tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh because I was going to ask you

00:52:12.020 if you were like hopping on planes constantly

00:52:14.240 every day to get 1.00

00:52:15.560 to another place, India has got to be 1.00

00:52:18.180 good because people don't leave to go to the bathroom 1.00

00:52:20.220 That is true

00:52:21.900 They can just 1.00

00:52:23.220 yeah you're standing there on a filthy river did you notice um a maybe hygiene wise that india was 0.98

00:52:31.720 a little you don't notice it went like it doesn't smell at least where we were but we you you go by 0.68

00:52:37.020 slums and uh you see them but we didn't i didn't get any bad odors but we didn't walk through slums

00:52:44.160 either like we were four seasons in mumbai which is a it's kind of a very poor area right outside

00:52:50.060 the hotel and me and louis went for a walk and a couple blocks from the hotel we see a dead cat

00:52:55.320 and a dead dog both were completely white in a big walk with a guy cooking dude there were people

00:53:00.480 just standing around them talking and these two like dead animals and we're like this is bizarre

00:53:05.260 nobody's noticing how weird this is yeah and uh so we kind of went back to the hotel that would

00:53:10.640 be dealt with immediately in any well people would notice it and kick it out yeah yeah it was a very 1.00

00:53:16.540 strange but they were all indian like the people they weren't like expats at the shows yeah yeah

00:53:20.800 they were all we did bangalore india we did delhi india and amazing crowds amazing china hong kong

00:53:28.020 was great all chinese you know i once heard what anyway oh about king kong was this oh that's right

00:53:35.140 hong kong of course uh because everything we know because of social media about a place like india

00:53:42.760 All we see are those street food videos and guys whipping up what looks literally like garbage and feces in a big thing.

00:53:51.100 That's right.

00:53:51.540 And then some influencer eating it.

00:53:53.660 It's crazy.

00:53:54.280 And hopefully not dying.

00:53:55.560 Did you try, and I know you, we were just at a very nice restaurant and we got the crab meat cocktail.

00:54:05.040 And you brought it up to your nose and smelt it first to make sure, I guess, that it wasn't feted.

00:54:11.160 Yes, fishy.

00:54:12.260 No, I can't imagine. 1.00

00:54:14.060 What the hell did you eat in India?

00:54:16.680 I ate a lot. 0.93

00:54:17.440 All hotel food.

00:54:18.300 And what was his name?

00:54:19.640 Right?

00:54:20.480 I have to.

00:54:21.320 It's the law.

00:54:22.300 I know.

00:54:22.940 At this point.

00:54:24.060 I know.

00:54:24.420 And I have to say Anthony.

00:54:26.960 It was a lot of hotel food, and it was a lot of – even at the breakfast buffets, I was careful.

00:54:33.940 You brush your teeth with bottled water.

00:54:38.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:54:38.960 I've heard that.

00:54:39.560 I did a video on brushing your teeth in India, and people said I was a racist, but I wasn't.

00:54:44.040 How is it a racist?

00:54:45.000 Of course it isn't.

00:54:46.000 The water is poison to us.

00:54:48.080 It's just their bacteria is different, so you have to be careful. 0.99

00:54:51.540 I did get very sick, though, in Japan, of all places.

00:54:54.660 Oh, no.

00:54:55.260 We were, I might have been, it was either, I think we had a, me and Louie.

00:54:59.120 We were at Hiroshima.

00:55:00.200 My hair started falling.

00:55:01.600 Absolutely.

00:55:02.240 I just picked up these really, these glowing plants, and they were delicious.

00:55:05.260 and we went to this week we had on a bullet train and we went to i name it aim it at your head no

00:55:12.460 we don't know where these jokes are going i'm just obligated to say that we're a bullet train

00:55:16.860 it's when me and my friend both finish fast you know what's what's what we uh we went to the

00:55:22.320 bullet train to kyoto and we we actually had really lousy sushi there so the next day i started

00:55:27.380 wow that's you i know in japan but two other people we were with who didn't go with us got

00:55:32.460 sick so it was either the breakfast buffet in the hotel or it was a bug but me louie and greg

00:55:38.420 han who was uh it was very funny we're working together we're in a big van on our way to the

00:55:42.280 show and i'm like i don't feel well at all uh-oh and i start projectile vomiting out the window

00:55:48.040 i'm standing up in a van projectile vomit it was so bad i didn't even film it like i would have

00:55:54.360 because the sounds were great it was so violent it was it was shooting and then it was so bad

00:56:02.320 Louis told the guy, like, take him back to the hotel.

00:56:04.780 Wow.

00:56:05.360 And so I missed the one show in Japan, the first of two shows, because I was so ill.

00:56:10.200 Very dishonorable.

00:56:11.220 I was very dishonorable.

00:56:12.300 Yes.

00:56:12.740 Yes.

00:56:13.140 I went up to the room, and I had a round two, which was worse, because that's all the bile.

00:56:17.840 That was it.

00:56:18.700 It was just those two.

00:56:19.960 I usually am a fingers down the throat guy.

00:56:22.440 Get rid of it.

00:56:23.580 But I couldn't.

00:56:24.620 You call them fingers now?

00:56:27.000 And I'm acting like, oh, it makes me sick.

00:56:29.440 Right?

00:56:30.480 But it doesn't.

00:56:31.180 To the elbow.

00:56:32.320 well you know what happened is when you're sitting on it you almost break your arm

00:56:40.260 you learn you have to go the other way but i didn't even have to do that this time i just

00:56:44.680 i couldn't have stopped it if i wanted to so that was the only time i got sick but india was fine

00:56:49.260 i was just very super careful about what i ate it was only in hotels really we went to one

00:56:54.560 michelin restaurant which the promoter took us to i just kind of ate whatever they gave me there

00:56:59.380 They serve tires.

00:57:00.400 I was eating.

00:57:01.420 Hold on. 1.00

00:57:01.780 Good damn. 1.00

00:57:02.280 You said it. 1.00

00:57:03.100 I have a 28 retread with Worcestershire.

00:57:07.580 No, no, no.

00:57:08.580 How about a tire?

00:57:14.800 Side of white wall or something?

00:57:16.780 Yeah, hold on a second.

00:57:17.960 What do you got?

00:57:18.480 A flat or something?

00:57:19.420 Don't tread on me.

00:57:21.180 I'll forget about it.

00:57:22.460 You just said it.

00:57:24.340 Valve stem.

00:57:25.420 Tires.

00:57:26.120 Go.

00:57:26.420 What's something with tires?

00:57:28.300 Rubber.

00:57:28.740 Did I say flat?

00:57:30.340 Flat.

00:57:30.940 That's good.

00:57:31.520 Let me get a hydroplane for dessert or something.

00:57:36.280 And then I hope most people have no idea why we're doing this.

00:57:39.640 Right.

00:57:39.920 No, no.

00:57:40.620 I guess the historic listeners of this station probably don't know what, but that's fine.

00:57:46.780 Yeah.

00:57:47.180 They'll hang in there.

00:57:48.560 That must have been something because you must have thought, I'm definitely going to get some type of food poisoning. 0.99

00:57:55.020 In India, yes, you did.

00:57:55.760 When I go on this trip.

00:57:57.060 Well, you're going to get sick because you've got to take malaria pills in India.

00:58:00.680 You've got to take them two days before you arrive.

00:58:03.200 And it was scary because we went from Istanbul to India.

00:58:05.620 Does it interfere with the prep?

00:58:08.460 Who takes prep?

00:58:10.000 Do you think you're the only one that likes to gamble? 1.00

00:58:11.800 Wussies. 1.00

00:58:13.400 Exactly. 0.97

00:58:14.120 Facing a pillow with two dice.

00:58:16.040 Come on, negative.

00:58:19.000 And I just weigh myself for the next six months.

00:58:21.160 It looks like I'm fine.

00:58:22.060 no we uh we went from istanbul which was interesting because we were walking to this

00:58:28.520 blue mosque we went to the blue and you hear a call to prayer which i'd never heard before

00:58:32.960 but it's actually was cool like again because again it's there's their country so if they're 0.81

00:58:41.320 not throwing you off a roof while it's playing well i wouldn't be doing things that would

00:58:44.660 deserved me being thrown off a roof boy i left her at home uh but yeah it's like an interesting

00:58:51.980 i loved hearing it in that city because again you know you're not gonna have to live with it i

00:58:55.860 wouldn't want to hear it right right in brooklyn uh five times a day it might get a little but

00:58:59.920 there in the afternoon it was fine and uh so we flew from istanbul to india but it was the day

00:59:05.080 after i think trump hit iran so you're supposed to fly right across iran oh right but close down

00:59:10.480 the airspace but iran was bombing uh i think they were hitting saudi arabia so we couldn't even fly

00:59:16.040 below so we had to go way up and around it was a really weird route we took probably for the best

00:59:21.760 it was scary we had no internet so i was like tracking the route on like the planes yeah thing

00:59:28.480 and i'm like you look down to the right you could see like that's where tehran is yeah you want to

00:59:32.060 make sure you're not near there nowhere near it but that was very a very scary adventure yeah that

00:59:37.320 That was a scary flight.

00:59:39.240 I wonder when we get back, because we're going to take a break in a few minutes here or seconds.

00:59:46.360 I want to talk about, like, because people have impressions of the world.

00:59:51.160 Who do you need?

00:59:51.660 I'll do it.

00:59:52.400 Please.

00:59:53.600 Impressions.

00:59:54.180 He does these impersonations.

00:59:55.420 You'd think it was the real.

00:59:56.440 Oh, we flew over turkey.

00:59:58.620 Oh.

00:59:59.200 Oh, dice.

01:00:00.680 Yeah.

01:00:01.060 Thank you.

01:00:02.120 That was Iggy from Taxi.

01:00:03.180 Christopher Dice.

01:00:04.840 Walking.

01:00:05.080 yeah i i just we there's there's impressions that people have of people from other countries

01:00:12.320 and the impressions they have of americans right and i couldn't imagine how you could possibly do

01:00:17.880 comedy in istanbul i i would think because we have this image of the people not understanding

01:00:24.300 the language and their culture must be that they wouldn't even understand the humor and that's

01:00:29.380 kind of how uh we think but you now a world traveler uh could probably enlighten some people

01:00:36.700 that of course your calls 800-848-9222 and uh we will return in moments don't you go anywhere

01:00:45.080 it's the anthony cumia show on the red apple podcast network

01:00:50.100 it's the anthony cumia show entertaining and informative on the red apple podcast network

01:01:01.700 the anthony cumia show with mr james norton yeah joining us this evening just such a pleasure i

01:01:11.700 i usually do the show from my home studio down in south carolina and to come up to new york is uh 0.96

01:01:18.380 it's a it's a pain in the ass and my head has to automatically go on a swivel out there yeah

01:01:23.380 and you know it's it's all the things of new york city in 2026 but but the one thing was 0.94

01:01:30.680 jimmy norton coming into the studio live for the entire show jimmy thank you so always fun i love

01:01:36.380 it i'm always happy when you're here i was gone for a while when you like you're being on for

01:01:40.140 seven weeks yeah you were on that uh road trip with louis it's a long time because we were trying

01:01:47.000 to coordinate when i was going to come up here do your show you do my show uh as a matter of fact

01:01:51.800 you just got back from la what yesterday no i came back all right i'm lying you're making me 1.00

01:01:58.360 lie to my listeners i went from oh don't beat yourself up it could happen to anybody stupid 0.96

01:02:03.840 i went from uh la to uh and this like i love tony hinchcliffe he's he's he offers me these 0.94

01:02:12.180 great gigs and he offered to put me on this uh this inuit show they were doing in uh the inuit

01:02:18.000 dome it's a new place 18 000 people uh shane was on it every big comic was on where is this in la

01:02:24.440 for the festival wow but i couldn't do it because i had to leave and be in buffalo

01:02:29.120 for a van full of people this netflix thing is like the biggest comedy thing going on right now

01:02:36.540 they weren't filming it but i mean it was still the idea i could have done it so anyway buffalo

01:02:40.120 I hope you appreciate how much I love you.

01:02:42.960 What was I saying?

01:02:43.960 Oh, coming back from LA, I got to Buffalo on Thursday.

01:02:48.000 Oh, Buffalo.

01:02:49.180 That's rough.

01:02:49.680 I know.

01:02:50.300 It's a fun city to do stand-up in.

01:02:51.520 I've known a few people in Buffalo that I got along very well with, but the city itself,

01:02:55.480 you don't go, ooh, Buffalo.

01:02:58.220 I mean, it was like 46 degrees. 0.97

01:03:00.400 I'm like, why don't you guys shut up? 0.97

01:03:01.860 It's May. 0.98

01:03:02.820 It's summer. 1.00

01:03:03.740 You lake-dwelling idiots. 1.00

01:03:05.160 It's terrible. 1.00

01:03:06.080 God almighty.

01:03:06.760 Why don't you fill in that lake? 1.00

01:03:09.380 Why don't you put cement and rocks in that stupid lake? 1.00

01:03:13.480 I'm so sick of you. 1.00

01:03:14.580 Yeah, a lake affects snow.

01:03:16.580 Do you?

01:03:17.640 Fill it in.

01:03:19.060 Put some dynamite in there and blow the water out of it.

01:03:21.420 Some environmentalists might have a problem.

01:03:23.540 I don't care about them.

01:03:24.940 I agree wholeheartedly, Jimmy.

01:03:27.040 I want to talk more about your trip, your road trip with Louie.

01:03:31.740 And I was saying, how do the people respond to it?

01:03:34.460 Because as Americans, we're so conceited.

01:03:37.380 we're narcissistic in a way we think you know america is great which i believe it is uh to a

01:03:44.120 point these days but you go to another country and you can't imagine it's like they wouldn't

01:03:49.040 understand our amazing elite humor you're a bunch of dregs of society and that was actually my 0.99

01:03:56.660 opening line oh what yeah did not endear me to the crowd i'm like well well you garbage people 0.98

01:04:02.040 here to see a real human are you and they were they laughing they laughed and they stood up and

01:04:08.560 they applauded no i wound up istanbul was interesting the show was really good and then

01:04:13.060 the promoter goes hey do you want to headline your own show on this was like a saturday whoa

01:04:17.060 on monday in a small comedy club so it was only like 150 seats but it sold out um and i wound up

01:04:24.340 doing this hour show in uh with a couple of local people opening they know you they did yeah um

01:04:32.980 because again louis i've been on louis show yeah and with the internet there's enough i couldn't

01:04:37.240 have sold out i mean louis sold out like a thousand seats there but like you know 150 i could do and

01:04:42.400 they were great they got every joke once in a while you talk a little slower like louis said

01:04:47.440 something we were in i think uh we're in thailand and he goes the thing to remember is you talk a

01:04:51.900 little bit slower because when we talk to each other we drop a part of a set like you just like

01:04:57.480 i just did right there yeah yeah you just you cut a rope and then you keep going right and we know

01:05:02.320 we interpret it yeah but when you're in foreign language people don't know so you have to kind

01:05:06.160 of finish those uh but the shows were all great but they like that sounds great if you're giving

01:05:11.040 a seminar yeah or something i was comedy i was a very quiet seminar seminar comedy though is so

01:05:19.360 much different because it depends so much on timing and you know the delivery of a joke that's

01:05:26.060 why some jokes don't work at all on paper but if you say it with an inflection and right pauses or

01:05:32.900 whatever it takes it becomes a funny joke you mean like one of your jokes gets like quoted on twitter

01:05:37.800 or in the paper it just doesn't have the humor yeah that's what got me fired i know such a chuckle

01:05:43.340 i would have gotten i said it but yeah in print yeah everything looks bad in print so but i don't

01:05:51.920 mean like you don't slow it down to the point where you're talking like a like this you're not

01:05:56.500 talking like siri but you just like enunciate a teeny bit better and just kind of pace yourself

01:06:01.600 mildly slower culturally though like when when a comic from another country and there have been 0.65

01:06:08.360 many really funny indian comics and they come here to america and they kill they do very well 0.84

01:06:14.180 because the stuff they're talking about is so relatable that's right to americans and that

01:06:20.400 sounds horribly racist of me because i assume that you have to uh americans have to understand

01:06:27.680 what you're talking about so maybe you change something because they wouldn't possibly find

01:06:32.540 it funny in india is the mindset especially with comedy similar between indians in india and

01:06:39.020 america yes they the the guys because louis doesn't like to meet people after the show he

01:06:43.720 just wants to go back to the room relax like a piece of garbage he's just like yeah he's done

01:06:47.240 the show he's done he's tired but in india i got so many comedians that reached out to me and came 0.85

01:06:52.660 to the show there's like 40 comedians came to the show and just indian comedian indian comic

01:06:56.980 and they because louis had never been there and they were like this is like a festival to us

01:07:01.900 him wow and a lot of them i they i wasn't on the they didn't know i was going to be there so a lot

01:07:06.620 of them knew me for again from his world from his show did they get a refund they did not and

01:07:10.940 anthony they were happy to see me

01:07:12.800 they uh they uh they they were they were they came backstage we met a lot of them

01:07:23.120 and in every indian city they have a big comedy scene there uh well i can't imagine people on

01:07:28.580 four days late for gigs with the mumbai traffic oh yeah nothing in this country that prepares you

01:07:35.480 for well i watched your show uh what jim norton can't save you jim norton i may be changing the

01:07:40.940 name of that to um jim norton cannot save you cannot i like the the contraction kind of screws 0.60

01:07:47.500 it up good luck stupid i should have called it the um i watched the show with louis and where'd

01:07:53.620 you meet him me and louis were sitting there watching this is me wow uh it was it was fascinating 0.98

01:08:01.820 listening to you guys talk about the traffic and the way they drive crazy and the you know what

01:08:08.360 got me when you guys talk about the constant horn beeping like they will just hear you know we're in

01:08:15.420 new york you hear uh when someone's in the way yeah apparently it's all the time it's it's a

01:08:22.540 And I mean, not me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

01:08:25.320 It's absolutely nonstop.

01:08:27.940 It's a part of the fabric of their air.

01:08:31.800 Oh, my God.

01:08:32.360 It's nonstop.

01:08:33.640 I couldn't even.

01:08:35.560 But it's not, it's weirdly not angering because you don't, no one takes it personally.

01:08:41.540 Me, me, me, me, me.

01:08:42.180 You just go.

01:08:42.740 Yeah, because here, someone beeps it, you're like, you're ready to throw down.

01:08:45.960 I'll say something.

01:08:46.740 I'll throw down.

01:08:47.720 I'll say something like, the horn blows.

01:08:49.880 I wish there was no more of that noise.

01:08:51.780 I always forget the second part of a funny comment.

01:08:54.380 You're looking to get into a fight with that language.

01:08:57.660 But it's not as angering in India.

01:08:59.700 It's just not. 0.96

01:09:00.740 And I guess because everyone's doing it, and it's literally a nonstop thing.

01:09:06.940 What was the – I didn't understand.

01:09:08.740 On the back of a truck, it said, please honk.

01:09:11.760 And I don't know what that means.

01:09:12.900 Why would you invite more honk?

01:09:14.400 A lot of trucks had that, and it was all – apparently, like, because they know they're driving slow, so they don't want to merge into –

01:09:20.780 Because you will see, and Louie reminded me of this, you will see like a family on a motorcycle with no helmets.

01:09:26.560 Like a dad driving holding a little kid, and the wife is on the back holding a child, and they're on a motorcycle on the highway.

01:09:35.560 No one's wearing a helmet. 0.90

01:09:36.640 It's crazy.

01:09:37.860 So the sign will say, please honk.

01:09:39.520 Chris Hansen's chasing them.

01:09:41.480 I know.

01:09:42.000 And me.

01:09:42.700 Slow down.

01:09:44.240 They just want you to beep so they don't merge into you, I guess.

01:09:47.820 But it says, please honk.

01:09:48.780 They're okay with that.

01:09:49.760 Please honk.

01:09:50.780 Please honk.

01:09:51.980 We have signs that say no honking.

01:09:53.760 Don't use your horn.

01:09:54.780 It's a crime.

01:09:55.940 The trucks want you to beat that.

01:09:57.260 It's only on trucks I've seen these.

01:09:58.960 And then I would assume.

01:10:00.260 And I saw some geese had that. 0.55

01:10:03.400 And some white people are honkies. 0.74

01:10:06.440 Thank you. 0.77

01:10:09.420 I could only assume like no real street lanes and street signs.

01:10:15.260 They have all of it.

01:10:15.960 They do.

01:10:16.600 Yes.

01:10:16.840 They just don't pay attention.

01:10:17.880 The running joke I kept saying is apparently their street signs are suggestion.

01:10:22.000 And they really got merely a suggestion idea.

01:10:24.620 And I did that for, for 10 days, every five minutes to row you up building.

01:10:30.480 They really wanted to, but yeah, you, you know, you, you adapt while you're there,

01:10:34.260 but I guess it's a different world, brother, different world.

01:10:36.700 All right.

01:10:37.520 Uh, we'll be back in my segment, closing statement, different world.

01:10:41.540 We'll be back.

01:10:42.200 Your calls next.

01:10:43.560 Wait, it's the Anthony Cumia show on the red apple podcast.

01:10:47.640 network it's the anthony cumia show on the red apple podcast network the anthony cumia show

01:11:01.040 and uh jim norton joins me this evening uh thank you jimmy oh thank you uh i was i was looking at

01:11:08.820 some news and i saw a a guy ran down a runway in denver yeah and got sucked up by a 737 engine

01:11:20.140 and the news called him a pedestrian and i found that really odd because i don't think he qualified

01:11:27.560 as a pedestrian maybe science-wise he was walking yeah he's a person but i would assume that's a

01:11:37.020 sidewalk or if the plane landed on a street and sucked the guy up he was walking down the sidewalk

01:11:43.760 a pedestrian was there but if you run out onto a runway you're a bird yes we're sully sullenberg

01:11:52.640 the guy stopped and said oh we ran someone over and we're going back to the gate or we need an

01:11:59.100 evacuation sully would have kept going yes he would have the engines and uh we're up and flying

01:12:05.360 Remember the Super Bowl when Sully and the crew took too long of a bow, and then people were just done clapping, and they're still sitting there waving?

01:12:12.440 We're like, you got it.

01:12:13.400 That's embarrassing.

01:12:14.180 What did you do?

01:12:14.760 You crash-landed into Hudson because you couldn't cut the mustard with the geese?

01:12:19.720 You couldn't get back to the airport.

01:12:21.280 Exactly.

01:12:22.080 You should have been fired. 0.58

01:12:23.480 Birds.

01:12:24.800 One of our most amazing inventions ever, birds can take it down.

01:12:29.600 Birds can take it.

01:12:30.220 A bunch of – and by the way, I have no mercy for them. 1.00

01:12:33.100 It's like, if you don't see that coming, you stupid animal, I have no mercy for a bird that doesn't see something four million times its size. 1.00

01:12:41.780 That'd be like if you and I were standing here and Connecticut was headed towards us and we didn't think to get out of the way. 1.00

01:12:46.120 Couldn't get out of the way.

01:12:47.340 I tried jumping.

01:12:49.500 No, there was.

01:12:50.920 That was by a suicide, by the way.

01:12:52.740 Of course.

01:12:53.900 Of course.

01:12:55.340 I can't imagine that you get on a runway and dive into an engine.

01:13:00.100 And I know, especially during takeoff, that thing was revved up full speed.

01:13:05.800 So you could be on the periphery.

01:13:07.820 You're getting sucked into that.

01:13:09.280 Oh, yeah.

01:13:09.500 Maybe he actually didn't mean to get hit.

01:13:10.980 Maybe he was just standing there watching it go.

01:13:12.320 Why would you be on the runway if you didn't? 1.00

01:13:15.000 I mean, he was a drunk idiot. 1.00

01:13:16.240 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:16.680 Maybe he just wanted a video.

01:13:18.660 Or maybe he, I don't know.

01:13:19.960 I mean, they'll figure it out.

01:13:21.440 You haven't said anything that doesn't classify as me. 1.00

01:13:24.720 Drunk idiot. 1.00

01:13:25.620 He wanted a video. 1.00

01:13:26.760 I've never ran out onto a runway.

01:13:29.280 No, but there's time.

01:13:30.440 I don't like the idea that that is able to happen.

01:13:33.960 Isn't the runway supposed to be as secure as the terminal building?

01:13:37.200 You go through all the safety checks.

01:13:39.720 There's no way a person should be able to get out there.

01:13:42.940 God forbid he had an improvised explosive device.

01:13:46.340 That is true.

01:13:47.200 It only happened once.

01:13:48.280 It's not like this happens.

01:13:49.080 Oh, great.

01:13:49.500 Another guy gets run over. 1.00

01:13:51.040 Maybe because a bunch of idiots don't want to run out and get eaten by an engine. 1.00

01:13:55.360 Yeah, you're right. 1.00

01:13:55.920 That could be somebody had some type of.

01:13:57.640 So if they got a device, something that could hurt the plane a lot more than a person going the engine, which is amazing.

01:14:05.280 I saw a photo of the engine, and you'd think, like, we're pretty mushy as beings.

01:14:10.880 We've got bones and teeth and stuff, but titanium blades spinning at about 100,000 RPM, and it wrecked, like, a big part of that engine.

01:14:21.860 But there was not one piece that even resembled a human.

01:14:25.420 Well, don't forget, no matter how good an instrument is, if you throw a big fat ham into it while it's doing 150 miles an hour, it's going to be a problem.

01:14:35.420 I think they test, or at least they used to test jet engines for bird strikes.

01:14:40.140 They would throw frozen turkeys into the, not jive turkeys.

01:14:45.920 That would be funny.

01:14:46.860 Back in the 70s, hey, give me another jive turkey. 1.00

01:14:51.160 The guy's sitting there saying stupid stuff, sounding like a square. 1.00

01:14:54.400 Yeah, like he's the cop from Sanford and Son, or he's the white husband from the Jeffersons. 1.00

01:15:02.540 Not a jive turkey. 0.62

01:15:03.660 Another frozen jive turkey, please.

01:15:05.780 But I mean, the fact that you said jive turkey, nobody knows what that is anymore.

01:15:10.360 No, no.

01:15:10.840 Nobody.

01:15:11.500 Well, the people that listen to the station.

01:15:13.280 Not only do the people who listen to the station, they knew what it was since its inception.

01:15:17.740 They were in college when they first heard that.

01:15:19.840 They were called jive turkeys. 0.59

01:15:21.460 Yes, they were.

01:15:22.320 And it was a new word.

01:15:23.520 It sure was.

01:15:24.400 And they were old then.

01:15:25.320 It was brandy new.

01:15:27.940 Let's talk to J.D. from...

01:15:30.840 Oh, my.

01:15:31.060 What an honor.

01:15:31.820 What an honor.

01:15:33.220 How's Washington, D.C., sir?

01:15:34.640 No, no.

01:15:35.620 Philadelphia.

01:15:36.360 Oh, sorry.

01:15:36.940 The Commonwealth of PA.

01:15:38.900 Apologize.

01:15:39.180 J.D., how are you, my friend? 0.98

01:15:42.240 Oh, Mimi Beardsley. 0.52

01:15:44.540 Would you eat?

01:15:45.340 Hey, guys.

01:15:46.260 How's it?

01:15:46.800 Yes.

01:15:47.460 A classic song.

01:15:49.200 Mimi Beardsley.

01:15:49.900 Thank you, J.D.

01:15:51.320 What's up, my friend?

01:15:53.460 Not too much.

01:15:54.400 What would it take for you guys together, minus one person, to go back to maybe Satellite Radio?

01:16:02.820 Oh, my God.

01:16:04.180 Satellite would – there's a couple of things with there.

01:16:06.620 Satellite would never take us back.

01:16:08.380 And also, I wouldn't want to do Satellite because it's simply a closed forum.

01:16:12.740 Yes.

01:16:13.040 People can't find you on Satellite anymore.

01:16:15.580 No.

01:16:16.420 Satellite is – it's one of those technologies like Betamax, LaserDisc.

01:16:22.420 That would be my nickname if my name is Max.

01:16:24.400 boo clumsy clod

01:16:26.700 there's 36 years 1.00

01:16:28.100 homo max 1.00

01:16:29.020 I mean beta was mean enough

01:16:31.760 it really was I didn't have to

01:16:34.280 jump on you like that

01:16:35.760 I deserve it the way I trip through that like a rank amateur

01:16:38.820 like literally I've done two open mics

01:16:40.760 and I'm on the radio wait wait do you see what I got

01:16:42.840 guys buckle in

01:16:44.880 if my name was max

01:16:46.120 beta max I'd be him 1.00

01:16:48.600 nice job stupid 0.99

01:16:50.080 go ahead sorry 1.00

01:16:51.420 yes sir

01:16:54.400 Uh, I was looking back on one of your, uh, bits and it was, uh, the monkey that ripped

01:16:59.940 off the woman's face. 0.95

01:17:01.180 Oh God. 0.99

01:17:02.460 Another tragedy.

01:17:03.720 That was so funny to talk about.

01:17:05.680 And, uh, the woman, a friend of this woman that owned a monkey, a chimpanzee, she went

01:17:11.100 over there and it was apparently the chimp's birthday, Travis, Travis, the chimp.

01:17:15.680 And, uh, they gave him a birthday cake and everything. 0.99

01:17:19.140 And they had given him some Xanax because he was already a little rambunctious. 0.74

01:17:25.900 And the friend went over to the chimp, and the chimp just attacked this woman. 0.90

01:17:30.140 The friend got out of the car, and she had, probably for a gift. 0.98

01:17:33.640 The cake, right?

01:17:34.620 No, no.

01:17:35.360 You're mixing up two hilarious stories.

01:17:38.120 Am I? 1.00

01:17:38.640 The one was a couple who had raised like a chimp. 1.00

01:17:41.280 They put it to a chimp sanctuary, and the husband and wife came by with the cake. 1.00

01:17:45.460 With the cake, and other chimps wanted some cake. 1.00

01:17:48.160 Of course they did. 1.00

01:17:48.980 You can't tell a chimp, no. 1.00

01:17:50.520 You can't. 1.00

01:17:51.020 So they literally bit his thumbs and fingers off, and they bit his testicle. 0.99

01:17:54.620 Yeah, they go for the thumbs and the genitals. 0.99

01:17:56.900 The lesson would be, give the cake. 1.00

01:18:01.680 Give him the cake.

01:18:03.000 Or they're going to take something that sounds similar.

01:18:04.880 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:05.580 No, the one you're, Charlotte, in Connecticut, the woman got out of the car, and she had like a little chimp. 1.00

01:18:11.800 Yes. 1.00

01:18:12.520 Like a doll. 1.00

01:18:13.520 and I guess the chimp didn't know that it wasn't real 0.97

01:18:16.480 and attacked her because she had the little... 0.98

01:18:19.380 They don't know.

01:18:20.400 They don't know. 1.00

01:18:21.000 What a dumb present to bring to a wild animal. 1.00

01:18:24.500 Another thing that looks like a wild animal, 1.00

01:18:27.760 knowing that they don't put up with that. 0.95

01:18:29.760 It shooed her up for 12 minutes or whatever.

01:18:32.320 Took her face off. 0.73

01:18:33.860 Yeah. 0.89

01:18:34.360 And then, was that the one that got the face transplant?

01:18:36.580 Yes, so she looks fine now.

01:18:38.760 I'm sorry, I'm thinking of the Muppets.

01:18:41.320 Do you remember what you said, Jimmy?

01:18:43.520 I said something about she looks like a Picasso.

01:18:47.620 I wasn't kind.

01:18:49.180 What?

01:18:50.360 His name is Jim Pembry. 1.00

01:18:52.100 Now, talk to him, damn it. 0.99

01:18:53.220 Oh, that's Jim Pembry. 0.99

01:18:55.780 Oh, yeah, Jim Pembry reference.

01:18:57.880 Jim Pembry.

01:18:59.900 He has Hannibal Lecter. 0.99

01:19:01.460 Cut his face off. 1.00

01:19:02.660 That is right. 1.00

01:19:03.420 That was terrible.

01:19:05.500 There's no looking in a mirror after a face transplant and going,

01:19:10.060 Oh, I like this.

01:19:12.020 I always feel like you would itch, and you'd feel like...

01:19:14.440 You ever scratch your leg when it's numb, and it doesn't feel like your skin?

01:19:18.960 Yes.

01:19:19.520 That's very weird.

01:19:21.400 I would think that's probably...

01:19:22.300 That's what it feels like.

01:19:23.240 Yeah, because the nerve endings are all cut, and they don't...

01:19:25.940 They connect somehow.

01:19:27.140 Yeah.

01:19:27.600 I think.

01:19:28.580 Oh, God. 0.91

01:19:29.440 Let's get her on the phone. 1.00

01:19:30.200 Get her on the horn. 0.99

01:19:31.020 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:32.280 Guy who goes on someone else's show, tries to boss people around.

01:19:36.580 What's that, sir?

01:19:37.740 I said...

01:19:38.420 I actually talked to her once.

01:19:40.260 You did?

01:19:41.760 You know what she said?

01:19:42.680 What did she say?

01:19:47.440 Brilliant, J.D. from Philly.

01:19:49.040 That was very good, J.D.

01:19:49.480 Thank you so much for the call.

01:19:52.620 Talked to her once.

01:19:53.620 What did you say?

01:19:54.320 Have a banana. 0.97

01:19:56.880 Let's watch the monkeys.

01:19:59.260 You know, she doesn't like Last Train of Clarksville.

01:20:03.960 That's the song. 0.91

01:20:05.520 You know, monkeys.

01:20:07.780 I don't care if it's spelt.

01:20:09.500 She probably doesn't like it at all.

01:20:10.920 She doesn't like it because of the name yet.

01:20:12.620 Those things are just crazy. 1.00

01:20:14.240 Chimps are very nasty. 0.93

01:20:15.980 And the trouble is they're adorable.

01:20:19.180 Cute. 1.00

01:20:19.800 Like you worked with a chimp back in the old days on MTV. 1.00

01:20:23.440 That's right, but people want to see us back together. 1.00

01:20:25.240 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:26.260 I had a stupid pilot I did for MTV, 0.99

01:20:31.140 and Mikey the Chimp was my surprise to get picked up. 0.99

01:20:37.380 But it wound up.

01:20:38.140 remember we had him on the air

01:20:39.700 was it the guy that gives a BJ and the bear

01:20:42.060 to a bear

01:20:47.780 hey thanks little fella

01:20:50.800 we had him on the radio

01:21:02.420 remember he came on

01:21:03.180 they brought him into

01:21:04.460 ONA at one point

01:21:07.820 XM

01:21:08.100 yep it was the xm studio and yeah i i said when when uh he was sitting there and i patted him on

01:21:14.820 the back i said this feels exactly like a sack of cement yes like when you get a sack cement that

01:21:20.440 you put in a wheelbarrow and stuff it's just the sack that's how how big and and just solid it was

01:21:28.740 solid yeah i had one other experience it was an episode of louis louis forgets that he doesn't

01:21:34.480 remember this happened this was lucky louis no no louis the show louis the show okay where

01:21:38.660 there was one scene we did as i was like a card game or something and nick to paolo was in the

01:21:44.740 scene and there was a chimp and nick has to come in and start yelling but every time he yelled

01:21:50.260 the chimp would get antsy because there was like a happens to this day

01:21:54.380 yeah they're not a match made in heaven so they they they had a hard time training the chimp to

01:22:04.680 do and and they tried to use the uh the trainer in the scene oh wow but he couldn't act at all 0.62

01:22:09.160 so they wound up getting rid of the uh chimp scene totally should have got rid of the paolo

01:22:14.000 i know the chimp was so see the chimp but the uh i went and held the chimp outside for a little

01:22:20.460 a while and he was very very cute he's feeding me he's giving me water like i was drinking and he

01:22:25.080 kept tipping water he would give you the water yeah it was very nice isn't that amazing they

01:22:29.160 could be so sweet nice and then literally rip your thumbs and yeah but it was like prison like

01:22:33.260 once i took the treat you know what i had to give up all right yeah you know quid pro quo absolutely 0.76

01:22:38.320 yes so i had broke what i had uh yeah for little chimp legs gripping my legs from the back and 0.68

01:22:43.440 chimp hands on my shoulders. 0.94

01:22:46.980 I was never a cruelty

01:22:49.360 to animal kind of guy, but

01:22:50.760 I really do. I've gotten

01:22:53.160 such an appreciation for animals

01:22:55.200 now, and I feel so much

01:22:57.280 more empathy for them than

01:22:59.160 I used to. I never

01:23:00.920 growing up, I was like, people would

01:23:03.120 talk about SeaWorld and be like,

01:23:05.280 oh, it's terrible. It's all for a woman. 1.00

01:23:08.160 It's better than another 1.00

01:23:09.280 letter.

01:23:13.440 Just look out the window.

01:23:15.800 That's all you need to do.

01:23:18.580 All right.

01:23:19.220 Look, I'm trying to skirt the issue.

01:23:22.880 I would think, like, who cares?

01:23:26.360 First of all, I'm never going to go out into the ocean and see killer whales.

01:23:30.820 So it's a great way for us to appreciate the killer whale to have them in this thing.

01:23:37.000 We look at them through glass.

01:23:38.040 And then you realize that is such a – what a crappy thing to do.

01:23:43.440 to an animal just because i want to appreciate their beauty look i'm gonna lock you up um it's

01:23:49.540 terrible and then you realize how how cognizant they are of of you and what their life is and

01:23:56.800 um they have minds and they have spirits and you know it just feels crappy uh to to do terrible

01:24:05.400 things and now with the internet and our phones i will never watch a video of an animal being hurt

01:24:12.120 I could watch people, I could watch snuff films all day with people, don't care.

01:24:17.600 An animal, though, being hurt, can't do it.

01:24:20.020 Yeah, I don't like it either.

01:24:21.380 And the videos you watch with animals, they're not being hurt.

01:24:23.840 I mean, it's a cow and there's a guy standing behind it.

01:24:27.060 It doesn't hurt the cow.

01:24:28.800 Sure, he swats on him with his tail, but he's being appreciative.

01:24:31.480 You couldn't hurt him.

01:24:32.560 No, I certainly couldn't.

01:24:34.320 Well, I might.

01:24:35.520 See, I almost did something that also would have gotten you.

01:24:37.820 Yeah, it was very fresh.

01:24:39.960 Isn't it terrible?

01:24:40.800 you gotta you gotta you gotta watch what you say here on these uh but the uh public airwaves i i

01:24:46.160 don't i just ate to it this is what a fraud i am we were just out to dinner me and anthony and i

01:24:49.980 had crab cocktail but i've been really trying not to eat crab because i hate that they cook them

01:24:54.360 alive oh yeah because there's a woman on on uh instagram who has like a pet crab and like she

01:25:01.480 puts a little dumb hat on it oh no scratches his little shell does he understand and is he like 0.62

01:25:08.320 He feels it. 1.00

01:25:08.960 Receptive?

01:25:09.400 Yes.

01:25:10.180 And trusts her.

01:25:11.820 Like, when you watch the...

01:25:12.960 I can't eat octopus anymore because they're very smart and they're good pets.

01:25:18.080 And, like, they open up jars to get their food.

01:25:21.220 Like, they're really smart animals.

01:25:22.900 They help you out.

01:25:23.460 They help you out.

01:25:24.240 Yeah, they'll open that up.

01:25:26.160 At some point, they got to go back to the ocean, though.

01:25:28.360 If they're in your house opening jars, you've taken them too far away from their natural habitat.

01:25:33.280 Well, you put the jar in just to show how smart he is.

01:25:35.700 But it makes me not a octopus anymore.

01:25:37.540 I can't eat them anymore.

01:25:38.780 I know people with severe brain damage that can open a jar.

01:25:41.960 So how smart are they really?

01:25:44.320 I suppose that's a really great heartless way to look at it.

01:25:48.700 It really is.

01:25:49.500 I understand what you're saying.

01:25:52.900 It's a smart animal to know its food is in there and open it.

01:25:56.260 Like a lot of animals couldn't do it.

01:25:57.740 Good luck getting a cow to do that. 1.00

01:25:59.400 Yeah, a cow could do it. 0.97

01:26:00.720 But they, like, here's another thing. 0.99

01:26:02.380 You talk about a frigging cow. 0.97

01:26:04.300 I've seen people play violins. 0.99

01:26:07.540 in front of a pasture of cows,

01:26:09.420 and the cows walk up,

01:26:11.000 and they seem to be getting emotional from the music,

01:26:15.120 and you're like, well, that's it.

01:26:16.420 I guess steak is out of the question.

01:26:18.840 I know.

01:26:19.240 A bunch of cows going, hey, look at this guy shredding.

01:26:22.520 Oof.

01:26:23.960 Didn't they do that?

01:26:25.380 Oh, God, please.

01:26:27.220 I was hoping a break was coming up.

01:26:28.940 Oh, you and me both.

01:26:30.780 Look at that clock.

01:26:31.780 Only 11 more to go.

01:26:33.000 So then the cows, I didn't know what to say.

01:26:35.640 I've watched cows watch a guy play violin.

01:26:38.580 I have seen those videos.

01:26:40.080 Yeah.

01:26:40.860 And I think the Internet and the access to so many videos and stuff is either it's propaganda, which I don't think it is because it's a lot of rando videos.

01:26:50.420 But the idea that they have such feelings and their independent spirits and stuff, you know, it pretty much ends when they start licking their dirty parts. 0.94

01:27:02.260 That's when I go, all right, you're a steak. 1.00

01:27:04.440 You're an idiot. 1.00

01:27:04.940 See, I'm just the opposite. 1.00

01:27:06.160 That's where I really bond with them.

01:27:07.600 I'm like, ah, you lucky dog.

01:27:08.980 They'd be eating you if that was the case. 0.99

01:27:11.440 Licking dirty parts. 0.99

01:27:12.560 That's not very nice. 0.98

01:27:13.300 Jimmy does.

01:27:13.940 But the internet has turned me on to it because I literally want to go to Yulin, China now

01:27:18.980 because they have that amazing dog festival where they honor-

01:27:22.180 Oh, my God.

01:27:22.900 The dog meat festival where they honor puppies and dogs.

01:27:25.620 Oh, my God.

01:27:26.460 I can't believe you.

01:27:27.800 I mean, it's just the worst people on earth.

01:27:29.780 It's so bad.

01:27:30.660 They cook the dogs alive because their meat is more tender.

01:27:34.080 That-

01:27:34.840 It's just terrible.

01:27:36.020 It really is.

01:27:37.400 And then if you think about it, you go, well, what's the difference?

01:27:40.320 And it goes back to, I think, the cute factor is brought up all the time.

01:27:44.660 It's like, but cows are kind of cute.

01:27:46.340 They are.

01:27:46.660 They're nice.

01:27:47.280 They're kind of cute.

01:27:48.000 By the way, in India, you do see them on the highway sitting in the left lane, and people

01:27:52.000 just go around them.

01:27:53.080 They have that.

01:27:53.740 It really is.

01:27:55.080 We were in Bangalore walking on the sidewalk, and there's just a cow in the middle of the

01:27:58.420 city on the sidewalk.

01:27:59.260 Yeah, for some reason, they've made cows like this deity.

01:28:03.120 It's got something to do with reincarnation.

01:28:04.400 Is it?

01:28:04.840 I think so.

01:28:05.660 They think that it could be a relative?

01:28:08.060 Maybe, yeah.

01:28:09.240 There's a balance in this country with cuteness and deliciousness.

01:28:14.820 Thank you.

01:28:16.660 You're both, Jimmy.

01:28:18.100 I'll cut it out. 1.00

01:28:20.020 Because cows. 1.00

01:28:21.280 Cows can be cute. 1.00

01:28:22.240 They're filthy. 0.99

01:28:22.840 If you look at them in a pasture, they crap on themselves. 1.00

01:28:28.040 They're matted up with spit and snot. 0.63

01:28:31.900 But they're so delicious.

01:28:33.840 They are.

01:28:34.200 that you're compelled i don't think an otter is delicious because no one ever uh kills an otter

01:28:42.260 to eat it and that's the stereotypical cutest animal ever i know but i got there's they're so

01:28:47.040 shiny every time i see an otter i want to slap it what a smack it would make right

01:28:55.320 it's kind of a wet skin with all that hair slicked back oh that snap it would make i i literally 0.99

01:29:04.500 can't see an otter without wanting to to cock back and slap it they give you like dumb mustaches 0.80

01:29:16.620 they'll give you a rock to trade it for like a fish i saw this video where an otter was handing 0.99

01:29:23.740 a rock to somebody and going, here, take

01:29:25.940 this. And the guy's like, okay, I'll trade you for the

01:29:27.900 fish. And he took the fish.

01:29:30.020 They're working stuff out. That's the exchange

01:29:31.740 I want to have, where he trades a rock

01:29:33.940 for a slap.

01:29:36.220 It's just a backslap.

01:29:38.480 S&M bargain.

01:29:40.480 Yeah, it's a very, they're very

01:29:41.880 cute animals, by the way. Yeah, I agree.

01:29:44.080 But they're slappable.

01:29:46.540 Alright, look, we'll be back

01:29:48.060 in moments. More of

01:29:49.920 Jim Norton slapping beautiful

01:29:52.160 animals and

01:29:53.300 much more next

01:29:54.720 it's the Anthony Cumia show

01:29:57.560 on the Red Apple Podcast Network

01:29:59.920 now streaming on Paramount Plus

01:30:05.740 Beth and Rip are back in

01:30:07.420 Dutton Ranch

01:30:08.220 this life here is gonna work

01:30:11.460 isn't it? we'll make it work

01:30:13.040 starring Kelly Riley

01:30:15.360 a legacy is a beautiful thing but only

01:30:17.560 if it survives

01:30:18.600 Ed Harris

01:30:21.180 Family is the only thing we're fighting for. 0.92

01:30:23.460 And Annette Bening.

01:30:24.300 I can make this a lot harder for all y'all.

01:30:26.640 And peace will have to wait.

01:30:28.300 Dutton Ranch.

01:30:29.320 New series now streaming on Paramount Plus.

01:30:35.320 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

01:30:37.640 Entertaining and informative.

01:30:39.580 On the Red Apple Podcast Network.

01:30:42.540 The Anthony Cumia.

01:30:43.660 Let's go right to the phones.

01:30:44.820 Eric in Orlando, Florida.

01:30:48.000 What's up, Eric?

01:30:48.760 Hey, Anthony.

01:30:49.400 Hey, Jimmy.

01:30:49.800 Great to have you in the studio.

01:30:50.960 Hi, Eric.

01:30:52.580 I was just thinking back, and I was listening to it earlier on my phone today, driving, because I always listen to old O&A bits, at least one or two hours a day driving.

01:31:00.460 It was the one where Heather Mills had the miscarriage, and you guys were coming up with Beatles titles to change it around a little bit.

01:31:09.100 And the best line went to Anthony, who said, Lady McCartney, stew tomato out your feet, and then Jim just was laughing so hard he almost lost his breath.

01:31:18.740 i this probably i think of the term stewed tomato probably once a week oh just terrible people

01:31:25.900 beatles songs i forgot about that it's so funny that years later people will remember like the

01:31:31.120 horrid things we said in the name of humor dude lady mccartney stew tomato at your feet i forgot

01:31:39.360 that she had one yeah thank you for the reminder thank you eric um a great memory yeah yeah there

01:31:46.220 There's a lot of song parodies.

01:31:48.260 We should have been thrown off a lot sooner.

01:31:50.920 I mean, look, they did kind of, in most part, let us say what we wanted.

01:31:56.140 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:56.740 And there was some really monstrous jokes.

01:32:00.180 I don't feel bad about any of them.

01:32:02.300 No, no.

01:32:02.860 They were all in the name of fun and humor.

01:32:07.540 This is what a lot of people say.

01:32:10.760 Oh, if it was you or your family or this.

01:32:13.500 Yes.

01:32:13.660 But we directly made fun of and talked about things that did affect us personally, our own families.

01:32:21.100 And, you know, if it's funny, it's funny.

01:32:23.420 And I know the audience, the ONA audience, liked the morbid kind of gallows humor that we were doing.

01:32:31.100 And it is funnier when it's someone else.

01:32:32.740 Yes.

01:32:33.100 It is.

01:32:33.680 We know that.

01:32:34.400 But you can't look at life like that all the time.

01:32:37.280 Every time there's a movie about it, we're not going to make movies about the Titanic because people are really cold in the water.

01:32:41.680 People were very freezing cold.

01:32:45.040 Did you ever see that movie?

01:32:47.520 No.

01:32:48.600 What are you talking about?

01:32:50.100 Did you ever see Titanic?

01:32:52.960 You know, it didn't sink.

01:32:54.760 It was the sister ship, the Titanic, all the people because of the banks, the people on board.

01:33:03.040 I am so done with conspiracy theories.

01:33:07.360 not you know stuff comes up and you go all right that's a little fishy or something but the standard

01:33:13.740 textbook everyone's 9-11 the moon the flat earth i'm so done with you i stop it it's boring

01:33:22.240 and you're just playing dungeons and dragons yeah that's why you're just larping as the little boy

01:33:28.500 who solves the mystery yeah shut up it's a lot more exciting life is so much more exciting if

01:33:34.360 There is this conspiratorial upper echelon of government or the Illuminati, and they're trying to fool everyone, but you figured it out.

01:33:43.960 You're the guy that finally is cracking the case.

01:33:46.840 It's exciting.

01:33:48.020 It makes you feel important.

01:33:49.460 I know.

01:33:49.760 You're not.

01:33:50.380 You're not the guy.

01:33:51.780 Here's what you are. 1.00

01:33:53.040 You're an autistic incel with skin tags on your neck. 1.00

01:33:56.240 That's what you are. 1.00

01:33:57.380 You're not cracking the case, fat boy. 0.99

01:34:01.720 Cracking a bag of Doritos. 0.97

01:34:03.200 Exactly.

01:34:03.700 On a floor.

01:34:04.360 i'm so done with it i can't stand it someone thinks they're cracking they're breaking it

01:34:13.480 wide open they're the ones you're not going to be the guy we all go to yeah for and thank

01:34:18.760 it's not a movie you're not the main character you're not in a movie and uh whenever i talk

01:34:26.060 about uh nasa and the moon landings the apollo program the latest the artemis ship going around

01:34:33.320 the moon i get so much crap from people go oh really you still believe in that one lol you you

01:34:40.000 dummy or uh what nothing i've seen from the we never went to the moon or flat earth which is 1.00

01:34:47.800 more ridiculous idiots nothing i've seen has made me go huh no well now that's interesting because 0.99

01:34:54.360 everything i've seen has been scientifically debunked and not because someone told me 0.99

01:35:01.540 i did my own research and scientifically it works out to a certain conclusion uh and i've never seen

01:35:09.680 anything scientific about the uh conspiratorial side you understand that if it was if the earth

01:35:15.360 was flat every ship captain and every pilot on earth would have to be in on it and they are

01:35:22.340 that's they believe it that every pilot knows that they can't fly beyond a certain thing or

01:35:28.420 they're going to zip off into space yeah where do they go then they just lie they blatantly lie

01:35:34.900 you know that's why the south pole is off limits it's not people go there there's expeditions

01:35:40.560 there's places set up where you could live and do research uh and the moon thing

01:35:47.080 is is ridiculous because you think apollo 11 they finally get to the moon now if it's fake

01:35:54.140 you'd get back and go holy jesus i cannot believe we pulled it off everyone believes it yeah what

01:36:00.460 should we do go back five or six more times let's roll the dice for no apparent reason you did it

01:36:08.480 everyone's convinced but let's do it so many more times that people might catch on and involve a lot

01:36:15.340 more a lot more people and then 60 years later you go let's do it again with artemis let's get a

01:36:23.580 whole new generation of people that have to keep their mouths shut yeah and these the group four

01:36:28.420 astronauts go around the moon and uh they have to be quiet and we have to new technology of cgi and

01:36:35.320 this why would you do that what's the upside and listen we're going to ask someone from nasa to do

01:36:39.880 it let's go to stanley kubrick yeah let's go to kubrick one of the biggest directors on earth

01:36:46.920 he'll keep his mouth shut he'll keep his mouth shut and we might not recognize his directing

01:36:51.620 style absolutely how many kubrick movies have come out before that that have a kubrick look

01:36:57.920 a directing style and you're going to use someone with such a unique style to do something to fool

01:37:03.840 everyone that it isn't the first warning your son is attempting to bring an outside astronaut

01:37:09.160 into this situation

01:37:11.200 yeah they honestly it doesn't make sense it doesn't work out i'm not just doing it as a

01:37:21.640 I'm saying it because science tells me this actually happened.

01:37:27.160 If you use the term gatekeeper out there, just know this. 1.00

01:37:29.740 You're stupid. 1.00

01:37:30.980 It's an annoying term. 1.00

01:37:31.440 Unless you're literally a gatekeeper.

01:37:32.720 Exactly.

01:37:33.200 Unless you work with gates.

01:37:33.800 Keeping a gate.

01:37:34.680 Yeah.

01:37:34.920 Maybe you work with Bill.

01:37:35.820 Go ahead.

01:37:36.260 That's your show.

01:37:38.320 It's the Anthony Cumia Show on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

01:37:47.840 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

01:37:50.080 Entertaining and informative.

01:37:52.240 On the Red Apple Podcast Network.

01:37:56.440 The Anthony Cumia Show.

01:37:58.520 Yes.

01:38:00.060 It's Jim Norton sitting in with us this Sunday.

01:38:04.400 Yes.

01:38:05.320 Quite the treat, quite the pleasure.

01:38:07.900 Oh, good.

01:38:08.740 Oh, had great dinner, Jimmy.

01:38:11.240 Very tasty, yes.

01:38:12.360 With Jim, having a nice dinner together at a fine restaurant.

01:38:18.160 And thank you.

01:38:19.100 You treated.

01:38:19.920 It was very nice.

01:38:20.720 Oh, it's all tax deductible.

01:38:22.720 I know.

01:38:23.340 We talked about that.

01:38:24.520 Yes, yes.

01:38:25.220 This is a big write-off.

01:38:26.240 I signed it as a write-off.

01:38:28.260 I don't even know.

01:38:29.540 I'm the worst with business expenses.

01:38:32.200 Do you know my contract for here actually says that I can be reimbursed,

01:38:35.380 or I am reimbursed for travel here, for the hotel, for food, for everything,

01:38:43.500 every month, because I come up about once a month to do the show from the studio.

01:38:46.420 I maybe put in two since the time I started. 1.00

01:38:52.060 Because I'm a lazy idiot, Jimmy. 1.00

01:38:54.780 I'm stupid. 1.00

01:38:55.980 I could just fill it out. 0.98

01:38:57.960 I'm like, well, how do you do it?

01:38:59.760 Where's the request form for reimbursement?

01:39:02.420 It's not hard.

01:39:03.400 Oh, it's terrible.

01:39:04.520 It's very easy.

01:39:05.380 That's what girls tell me all the time.

01:39:06.400 Yes, it's not hard and it's terrible.

01:39:13.320 Yeah, it's so easy to do.

01:39:14.800 Something like that I'm actually pretty good with, like getting, oh, the old Mike's doing

01:39:18.800 the old stuff.

01:39:19.840 Talk about not being hard.

01:39:21.040 It's falling down.

01:39:22.100 Guys, if you could see that, you'd be laughing along with us.

01:39:26.500 But yeah, you'd fill it out.

01:39:27.500 Yeah, I got to do that.

01:39:29.040 I got to do that stuff.

01:39:30.280 I'm terrible, like, business like that.

01:39:33.000 That's why.

01:39:33.420 Same thing with, like, Compound Media.

01:39:34.640 I was just, this is fun, and the money's coming in.

01:39:38.060 I'm like, oh, that's great.

01:39:39.400 And then, you know, after eight years or so, it's like, oh, maybe some adjustments have

01:39:44.240 to be made.

01:39:44.700 And I'm like, no, I don't care.

01:39:46.380 Let's just let it ride.

01:39:47.640 Why don't you just tell your accountant to go through your credit card statements and

01:39:50.300 have them do it? 0.67

01:39:52.180 Oh, what are you, Israel now?

01:39:55.980 You're right. 0.64

01:39:56.800 I would have my accountant do that.

01:39:57.920 Yeah, just pull all those for the last year. 1.00

01:40:01.040 Yeah, I'm an idiot. 0.97

01:40:01.920 See if they'll reimburse you for the year. 1.00

01:40:02.920 I do that.

01:40:03.780 I'm going to meet with my boss and be like, hey, can I turn in a year's worth of expense?

01:40:07.620 You think they won't like that?

01:40:09.020 Probably not.

01:40:09.800 But I mean, you'll go, look, here's the thing. 1.00

01:40:11.640 I'm an idiot. 1.00

01:40:12.880 I'm an idiot. 1.00

01:40:13.480 Tell them I'm stupid. 1.00

01:40:14.700 as me being an idiot. 1.00

01:40:16.920 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:17.380 Which is why I was hired in the first place.

01:40:19.260 I was. 1.00

01:40:19.720 See, this is where you're stupid for saying it on the air. 1.00

01:40:21.760 Because you should have lied and said, 1.00

01:40:22.740 I thought my accountant was doing this the whole time.

01:40:24.860 Oh, I should have said that.

01:40:25.940 And it turns out he's not.

01:40:26.640 But now you can't because we're talking about it on the air.

01:40:28.660 I feel like I'm looking into a mirror.

01:40:30.280 Cut that part out.

01:40:31.740 Cut that part out so the boss don't hear it. 0.87

01:40:33.700 Hold on a second.

01:40:34.880 Tell the boss something.

01:40:36.100 I'm like a shock jock. 0.88

01:40:37.260 Yeah, screw the boss, right? 0.58

01:40:38.960 Yeah, we're giving away tickets.

01:40:41.160 We make the rules.

01:40:42.120 To the big show.

01:40:42.960 Oh, he's got tickets in his office.

01:40:45.260 Let's pick the lock and go in the office and take the tickets to give them away to our listeners.

01:40:51.620 We did that.

01:40:53.620 Me and Opie did that on WAAF.

01:40:57.860 Yeah, let's get in there.

01:40:59.600 And it was a big thing.

01:41:01.120 And the listeners were like, yeah, you guys are awesome. 1.00

01:41:04.740 It's like, you're stupid. 1.00

01:41:05.800 It was a little less hacky then than it is now. 1.00

01:41:08.640 I hope so, because everything we did in today's standard of broadcasting would be considered unbelievably hacky and terrible.

01:41:18.000 Yeah, it's those things, those little tricks.

01:41:20.420 But I'm in a car sometimes or an Uber going somewhere, and I'll hear the guy listening, and he's listening to War of the Roses.

01:41:26.120 They're still doing the fake calls.

01:41:29.780 Yeah, every phone call.

01:41:31.780 I think legally you're not even allowed to do prank phone calls on the radio.

01:41:35.500 You have to tell them they're on the air.

01:41:36.940 It's very limited as far as states that would allow that.

01:41:41.060 But I think the vast majority, you have to go, hi, and you've got to do this off the air.

01:41:47.480 You can't even ask them if you can put them on the air, on the air.

01:41:54.060 It has to be off the air.

01:41:55.320 Now, if you call in like our wonderful callers here, it's different.

01:42:00.800 So that's why you know all those old radio gags.

01:42:04.120 War of the Roses.

01:42:05.240 He sent the roses to his girlfriend instead of his wife.

01:42:08.720 We have his wife on the phone.

01:42:10.160 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:42:11.320 She's mad.

01:42:12.300 Oh, why did you do that?

01:42:13.460 Oh, honey.

01:42:15.820 They think everyone's an Academy Award winning actor.

01:42:19.060 No, it's like me in an audition.

01:42:21.340 The hands.

01:42:24.880 At least you don't have to know what to do with your hands in the radio.

01:42:27.640 It's not that bad.

01:42:28.320 No, I know.

01:42:28.840 But if the camera's on me, they're always just kind of up here hanging.

01:42:31.220 i every movie i watch you and sometimes things will pop up and and you're in it and i always am

01:42:38.620 just fixated on your hands i'm like what did he decide what was his decision as an actor or to do

01:42:45.080 with his hands or did it just kind of happen with the main character where the hands just

01:42:50.680 but they're supposed to do that's brilliance right there you ever watch really amazing actors at one

01:42:57.200 of those actor studio type things the interviews yeah and they're talking to a a student in the

01:43:03.320 audience about something a choice they made i like that the choice yes and it's just brilliant

01:43:08.900 and it looks great i saw an actor what the hell is his name who's that english actor

01:43:14.460 steve coogan no michael kane and he was uh doing something showing how eye contact and where the

01:43:24.160 and it was like oh my god how the hell does he even know to do this and it looks you could tell

01:43:31.140 what he meant you can see it he said if you want to appear more ominous don't don't blink don't

01:43:37.120 yeah don't he goes don't uh when you look someone in the eye and raise your head don't do that he

01:43:42.520 goes look at their eye first and then raise your head yeah it was just a really interesting

01:43:47.220 adjustment and pick one eye don't go back and forth between the two eyes that's right one eye

01:43:52.200 And Don't Blink.

01:43:53.160 And he did the example of both of those, and it was stunning how amazing it was.

01:43:58.400 That's why I haven't been able to look ominous, because I always like to put my head in a

01:44:03.100 semicircle, and I go, it's good, good, good radio bits.

01:44:09.420 You bulge your eyes out real wide.

01:44:12.280 And then it's good, too, if you go, oh, evil.

01:44:18.240 I'm writing a movie about a serial killer.

01:44:20.420 Oh, Jesus.

01:44:21.400 No, you're not.

01:44:22.460 By the way, that will give away the bad writing.

01:44:25.600 There's nothing that wrecks a show for me or a movie more than when they have cops talking.

01:44:30.480 And it's like, have you ever, the cops should always super, like the cop will walk in and go, the killer would never do that.

01:44:36.220 Cops never say the killer.

01:44:39.620 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:44:41.720 Colin was so great at parodying that on the cop show thing they did.

01:44:46.900 Because all the cops did talk like that.

01:44:49.660 Yeah.

01:44:49.920 That was such a great parody of Cops.

01:44:54.360 You were so good in that, too.

01:44:55.960 I did a couple of that.

01:44:57.040 But I found that Colin at times thought that my appearance was fodder for mockery.

01:45:02.260 Yes.

01:45:02.760 Like when I had to play an owl.

01:45:05.860 Like he said that my face represented toxic waste.

01:45:11.140 How is Mr. Quinn?

01:45:13.080 He died this morning.

01:45:14.120 Oh, that's tragic.

01:45:15.000 So good.

01:45:15.840 I didn't even see that.

01:45:17.240 No, he's doing great.

01:45:17.900 I saw Colin Friday night at the Comedy Cellar.

01:45:21.620 Oh, you did?

01:45:22.040 We were giving each other the business.

01:45:23.960 Yeah, you guys do give each other the business a lot.

01:45:27.360 From the stage?

01:45:28.200 I was saying things that he had called me.

01:45:30.680 I sometimes will tell people Colin because he's not a nice person.

01:45:33.320 Like an owl?

01:45:34.400 No, that he called me.

01:45:35.720 He said I look like a human cashew, which bothered me.

01:45:38.720 There's a couple of other uncanny.

01:45:39.720 Is that an insult?

01:45:41.060 Yes.

01:45:41.380 He mentioned this one.

01:45:42.560 Of course it is.

01:45:43.180 And then he went on after me and he said I look like a garlic nut.

01:45:45.980 a human garlic that is a good one yeah it was very fun so yeah i just saw call freddy he's doing

01:45:54.600 great didn't he call bob kelly uh bob looks like a souvenir you pick up at the beijing airport last

01:46:01.700 minute gift in the beijing airport and he also had a very funny line on stern roast about they 0.95

01:46:07.980 were i guess doing he said about boy gary yeah he said you're either a very ugly man or a very

01:46:13.300 handsome fish and of course uh i have been dubbed and to this day people still call me a back alley 0.73

01:46:24.900 tunisian knife fighter a perfect description kurt metzger he said looked like a bosnian war criminal

01:46:30.840 and he does he's very very uh good at that uh yeah i i do miss uh a lot of those guys i just don't

01:46:41.980 Of course, being in South Carolina.

01:46:43.880 Then when I got kind of banned from the comedy cellar, that was terrible.

01:46:48.700 I forgot about it.

01:46:49.140 I got to go.

01:46:49.980 I totally forgot about that.

01:46:52.260 I actually, I was told to go on hiatus from the cellar, which is pretty much being banned.

01:46:59.000 But it has this little glimmer of I can come back.

01:47:02.380 Noam was like, yeah, because I think I had so many comics in there that had problem with me.

01:47:08.660 And he doesn't like when the comics are uncomfortable there, but you know, he didn't really take into consideration why I had problems with some of the comics, whatever it might've been.

01:47:19.320 I think the, uh, uh, the bill Burr and then, um, uh, the club soda, Kenny thing was, I mean, I would say it doesn't help.

01:47:29.340 It doesn't help a situation doesn't help, but I always enjoyed going there and sitting down for the chicken skewers and rice with my friend, Jimmy.

01:47:37.600 and uh yeah did you see the uh the uh clip of the women the uh vegans that went in there and got

01:47:46.440 kicked out no i don't think it was the cellar i think it was this other around the corner 0.95

01:47:50.760 mamoons big black pussycat what is fat black pussycat i do my hour there every wednesday 0.76

01:47:55.760 oh okay it's a uh a little lounge and they have do they have uh they don't have really a lot of

01:48:01.620 food they're little little wings and stuff it had nothing to do with food the comic was making

01:48:05.760 a vegan joke and he said 0.99

01:48:07.900 vegans were losers. What babies? 1.00

01:48:09.740 And these girls started booing 0.99

01:48:11.920 him. Like literally boo 0.84

01:48:13.860 like it's vaudeville.

01:48:15.400 And he commented on it

01:48:17.740 and said a few things and

01:48:19.880 they were kicked out.

01:48:21.940 Like the cellar and those clubs

01:48:23.520 they don't put up with that. They throw you out

01:48:25.800 immediately. You get thrown out. It's not one of these clubs

01:48:27.840 where oh what a great back and forth

01:48:29.880 between the guy and the crowd. They will

01:48:31.820 throw you out. There's plenty of people

01:48:33.820 that want that seat.

01:48:35.760 um so they they they got kicked out and then they're recording themselves in front of the

01:48:40.900 cellar going can't believe they kicked us out we didn't do anything wait and then the comic put a

01:48:46.060 video up of him doing the and and you hear them boo and he goes this is the third time i've told

01:48:52.320 you to be quiet shut up yeah they never think they're doing anything wrong i was just laughing

01:48:57.580 no you weren't no one gets thrown out if you don't get thrown out of a funeral for laughing 0.97

01:49:01.940 You're not going to throw out a comedy club.

01:49:03.840 They think it's like a movie or a TV show where the heckler is quick-witted.

01:49:11.240 Yeah.

01:49:11.520 And it's a good repertoire or rapport between the comic and the heckler.

01:49:18.100 And everyone loves it.

01:49:19.360 And no, you're interrupting his show.

01:49:23.160 This is what he's doing.

01:49:24.360 And you're effing it up.

01:49:26.840 Here's the rule of thumb. 0.99

01:49:27.780 If you sneeze while I'm on, I hate your guts. 0.97

01:49:30.860 do you know i was doing i was closing my show i've this happened to me a couple of times 0.98

01:49:36.320 where i was closing the show one time a guy had a seizure i was at the stress factory in

01:49:41.220 connecticut and uh there's a bridgeport connecticut room i'm literally in my closing bit

01:49:47.100 and he falls on the floor and has a seizure so now i kind of have to just talk people through

01:49:52.540 this as we wait for paramedics oh my god pretend that i'm concerned and i'm annoyed that he messed

01:49:57.160 up my last bit and that also happened to me when i was in uh san diego i was doing the american

01:50:03.580 comedy whatever and a guy fell on the floor drunk or whatever and he came back the next night though

01:50:08.560 i gave him tickets the next night oh they gave him tickets because he might have been drunk or 0.69

01:50:14.200 tired but i have to pretend i'm concerned are you okay yeah i want to just go couldn't you die

01:50:18.060 quietly on the toilet in the bathroom what are you doing i have a bit to finish i'm not going 0.76

01:50:23.440 to be able to salvage this they don't get it well those people i don't think it's by choice but

01:50:28.500 they don't get it when they're interrupting the worst comedian the worst how self-centered do you

01:50:35.340 have to be there's a room full of people that want to see a comic and you're injecting yourself

01:50:39.820 into this like uh you're integral to to the act there's no penalty for that which i would feel

01:50:45.560 is too harsh like if there was a video of somebody heckling and a comic like cutting his hand off

01:50:50.860 with a hatchet, I'd go, he won't

01:50:52.820 heckle anymore. Like the mob.

01:50:54.520 Kind of like the mob. Like the mob. If you do

01:50:56.860 that, you know. They cut your pinky off. 1.00

01:50:58.960 Just something to remind, there's a heckler here.

01:51:01.180 Which hand do you put to your mouth when you yell

01:51:02.920 a heckle at the comic? Put it on

01:51:04.940 the table. We're going to cut your thumb and pointer 1.00

01:51:07.020 finger off. So now you just have three 0.93

01:51:08.860 little fingers and it's not the same yell.

01:51:11.580 You can't direct

01:51:12.980 your sound anymore. I would like

01:51:14.860 to see that. I would too. Alright, people.

01:51:16.960 Back in a flash. Where are you going?

01:51:18.700 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

01:51:20.860 On the Red Apple Podcast Network.

01:51:27.340 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

01:51:30.100 On the Red Apple Podcast Network.

01:51:33.520 The Anthony Cumia Show.

01:51:36.520 Thank you for popping in.

01:51:38.920 Yes.

01:51:39.780 We do appreciate it.

01:51:41.700 We sure do.

01:51:42.620 Earlier I was talking about Seth Rogen.

01:51:45.460 Yes.

01:51:45.700 Oh, yeah.

01:51:46.360 And kind of talking about, I remember him being very standoffish in the one interview I remember with him.

01:51:57.580 I don't know why or what it was.

01:52:00.820 And I even said, look, I understand sometimes these guys have to promote these movies and they do 20 of these and they're just carted around and whatever.

01:52:08.580 But, you know, it's our job to kind of make it entertaining and you have a part in this as a guest.

01:52:14.540 so i i kind of get that but i i saw him as a little standover but that isn't even what my

01:52:20.640 point was uh my point is i i talked about him on my internet show and uh the video was clipped

01:52:26.800 and it's put out and it's me pretty much crapping all over seth rogan but it's only because of the

01:52:32.060 the weed thing um i don't know what we think he's big on weed yeah and i get that whatever you smoke

01:52:40.220 weed people drink they did whatever it is but it's his dedication and and part of his persona

01:52:49.300 is weed and at 44 i don't know i i i don't find that um like uh wow that's cool you know in your

01:53:01.220 20s sure well we all dedicate ourselves to interesting thing some people dedicate themselves

01:53:07.860 to weed and other people dedicate themselves

01:53:11.520 to seeking out videos, which make them angry.

01:53:16.120 I guess we all have our cross to bear.

01:53:19.660 At least I knew who you were talking about.

01:53:21.740 Yes, yours just, you want a bear and then burn on a lawn?

01:53:26.100 No, I don't even know.

01:53:27.780 I guess he is, but I haven't really,

01:53:29.420 it hasn't hit my radar that much.

01:53:30.900 I know he smokes pot.

01:53:32.340 He smokes so much pot.

01:53:33.440 I hear he smokes pot.

01:53:34.240 But I did a movie.

01:53:35.340 Kevin Smith brought me to Pittsburgh years ago to do a very small couple lines in Zack and Miriam.

01:53:41.180 And Seth is in that movie.

01:53:44.200 And he came up to say hello at the trailer.

01:53:47.280 And I think Kevin's like, yeah, he's got me smoking.

01:53:49.300 But I think Seth got turned Kevin on to.

01:53:52.240 Oh, that is true.

01:53:53.320 And they were smoking.

01:53:53.820 I don't think Kevin used to smoke at all.

01:53:56.900 Yeah.

01:53:57.420 And Seth got him to smoke weed.

01:54:00.180 And it really screwed his life up.

01:54:02.900 But he's still skinny.

01:54:03.800 I don't know how Kevin Smith is still skinny.

01:54:06.740 He was a fat guy, and he lost all that weight.

01:54:09.160 But how do you smoke pot and you're still skinny? 0.83

01:54:11.300 There's something to be said for dying.

01:54:16.700 You know, people might want to get thin, and they look in the mirror, and it's like, oh, boy, or my cholesterol is a little high or something.

01:54:23.780 But when you're laying there dead and people have to bring you back to life, you might be a little more.

01:54:31.100 He had a heart attack.

01:54:32.840 In fact, that's right.

01:54:34.300 During one of his appearances where he'd get up in front of a college.

01:54:39.220 Was he big at that point?

01:54:40.240 Is that what got him to lose weight?

01:54:41.180 Oh, that's what got him to lose weight.

01:54:42.280 That's what got him to lose weight.

01:54:43.480 Yeah, he talks about that.

01:54:44.520 The big hockey jersey.

01:54:45.960 Yep.

01:54:46.280 The widow maker, he called it.

01:54:47.240 Yeah, yeah.

01:54:48.200 And that was huge for him.

01:54:51.020 And that was it.

01:54:52.040 Changed his life, yep.

01:54:52.940 It gives you a little more motivation.

01:54:54.520 Yeah, I guess I forgot about that.

01:54:55.960 To not be fat.

01:54:57.260 But it's still amazing to be able to smoke pot and not put weight back on.

01:54:59.960 I don't know if he still smokes.

01:55:01.480 Oh, I don't know.

01:55:02.000 He might have quit, because I remember he wrote something about and did a video about how weed really screwed him up.

01:55:10.240 He thought it was a good thing for a while, and then he realized it wasn't, and it was making him do things he wouldn't normally do and be paranoid.

01:55:19.760 The paranoid thing with weed is like...

01:55:21.500 It got me every time.

01:55:22.620 It's the worst.

01:55:24.420 I loved smoking pot in my late teens, early 20s.

01:55:30.060 It was great.

01:55:30.840 one day i got an anxiety attack that i didn't know what to do i'm like i'm gonna die right here

01:55:39.160 from this oh i will never smoke weed again if i get through this and that was it you didn't smoke

01:55:45.380 again uh no aren't you curious about edibles and stuff if i could do them i would yeah but i don't

01:55:50.700 think it's the smoke doing anything different than an edible would do it's thc going into your system

01:55:55.900 And I don't care.

01:55:56.480 No, the sativa is a much more mellow.

01:55:59.980 It's a mellower high. 1.00

01:56:01.240 Shut up. 1.00

01:56:02.700 I'm going to be sitting there all paranoid. 1.00

01:56:04.840 Quiet, you junkie punk. 0.94

01:56:08.460 Sure, sure. 0.77

01:56:09.360 Marijuana is fun at first.

01:56:11.600 Then you're staring at a baby in the oven because you thought it was a roast. 0.89

01:56:16.120 Something like that happened in Dragnet.

01:56:18.780 Yeah, Dragnet.

01:56:19.900 Really?

01:56:20.420 They walked in.

01:56:21.220 It was a babysitter. 1.00

01:56:22.140 She was a hippie girl, and she was smoking weed. 0.87

01:56:23.820 and then they said check on the baby they go upstairs and the cop comes down with a chicken

01:56:28.200 he goes this was in the thing where's the baby and then they turn the camera to the stove she

01:56:34.700 put the baby in the stove because she smoked the doobie but then they should have done one more

01:56:38.480 scene where they're all enjoying a nice dinner with a pile of mashed potatoes sergeant friday's 0.99

01:56:44.480 got the napkin tied around his neck i was forking a knife in both hands the mother's screaming in

01:56:49.840 corner there's a rattle in the in the microwave give me another leg a little tootsie on the end 0.69

01:56:56.820 these little piggies may have gone to market but i'll tell you they're delicious

01:57:01.040 yeah hey i'm gonna eat a little bit of soup out of that little soft spot 0.88

01:57:04.960 a baby look i got a wing that is terrible yeah drag that yeah the drama of what marijuana would

01:57:15.640 do marijuana but uh the the point i was making uh about seth rogan was uh he and i think he's got

01:57:22.940 pot products which i almost give him a pass on yeah because he's selling some sure but in your

01:57:30.320 20s weed is fun it's cool it's what you do uh and again i probably sound like the old guy shaking

01:57:37.420 my fist at 44 i think once you hit 30 you could smoke as much weed as you want but if you're

01:57:45.560 making it part of your persona you might as well make doing shots you know oh look i do because he

01:57:52.300 goes oh i can roll a lot of joints a day it's like might as well say oh i i take i do a lot

01:57:57.840 of shots every day it's great i invented this shot tray and uh the booze fits here and stuff

01:58:04.660 like what's the difference you're using some kind of substance to not go through life without some

01:58:13.260 type of uh buzz distraction something to take you away from the present yeah yeah yeah so maybe he

01:58:19.640 has an issue and i really shouldn't be criticizing him basically attacking a man for a possible

01:58:25.100 addiction for some type of addiction and he is a fine comedic actor um yeah no i i like i think

01:58:31.340 he plays seth rogan and everything a little bit yeah but he's you know seth rogan you ever see

01:58:35.820 the comeback he doesn't know what him what to do with his hands the comeback with uh lisa kudrow

01:58:40.080 you ever see that oh no i looked at your back once and i thought that i know and then you made

01:58:44.880 one but i can't say one on the radio oh jeepers let's just say tonsils were in it

01:58:50.480 indeed

01:58:56.000 it's about

01:58:59.180 the first season was 2005 0.98

01:59:02.800 it's just about a washed up actress 1.00

01:59:04.760 who's now doing a reality show

01:59:06.500 oh yes it was a great show

01:59:07.860 so uncomfortable

01:59:09.120 and the second season was in 2015

01:59:12.340 they did 10 years later they did season 2

01:59:14.440 and Seth Rogen was in an episode

01:59:16.260 of season 2 and he was great

01:59:18.940 I mean, great.

01:59:21.040 You're so good in this.

01:59:21.920 Oh, wow.

01:59:22.320 It's a great show.

01:59:23.260 So season three they're doing now.

01:59:24.860 I think it's ready to be a third season.

01:59:28.380 Oh, wow.

01:59:29.180 That took a lot of time off.

01:59:31.000 Ten years.

01:59:31.720 Ten years.

01:59:32.300 I can't wait to see it.

01:59:33.420 I love it so much.

01:59:35.140 I would watch that one.

01:59:36.240 I will, too.

01:59:37.180 Yeah, because it was a really uncomfortable show.

01:59:39.440 Oh, my God.

01:59:40.600 Very reminiscent of The Office.

01:59:42.640 Yeah, I remember once I told her that.

01:59:44.680 I'm like, it's the second most uncomfortable performance I've ever seen.

01:59:47.900 I don't think she liked that.

01:59:48.940 in a flash it's the anthony cumia show on the red apple podcast network

01:59:55.820 it's the anthony cumia show entertaining and informative on the red apple podcast network

02:00:07.500 it is the anthony cumia show and no sunday evening would be complete unless we

02:00:12.460 went to susan in corning new york susan how are you dear well you guys are cracking me up tonight

02:00:21.720 i mean i'm just kind of like just enjoying listening i wasn't even going to call him but

02:00:27.960 then uh with this um hi there jim i'm glad to hear you with my friend anthony who sometimes

02:00:36.760 gives me a hard time but sure you know we're talking about addictions and pot and oh drinking

02:00:44.280 susan oh do you call up loaded and you don't say no to a cocktail twice sweetheart so listen by the

02:00:51.300 way i wanted to say when uh jim was talking about the octopus thing and i'm kind of listening about

02:00:57.280 opening the jars and how intelligent yes yes very smart talking to fredo's wife

02:01:02.900 yeah and i'm saying like oh come on this is he's just pulling our leg remember and so i decided

02:01:09.700 to google it i'm gonna google this yeah my gosh my gosh uh octopuses are highly intelligent

02:01:18.920 according to ai so i'm i'm getting educated tonight i'm getting entertained isn't this great

02:01:25.940 but i also wanted to say um i wondered if either of you had any experience because

02:01:33.280 back in my 20s i lived um coincidentally the 20s too away yeah just a short time ago uh i i lived

02:01:43.500 near um second city um in a studio apartment and chicago yes chicago yes oh no what happened

02:01:51.520 Didn't you get teabagged by John Candy, 1978?

02:01:55.960 Oh, no, that was way past.

02:01:58.320 Well, no, Saturday Night Live wasn't even on that.

02:02:02.360 Oh, of course not.

02:02:03.100 Oh, sorry.

02:02:03.900 The Texaco Star Theater.

02:02:06.960 Uncle Miltie.

02:02:08.120 Yeah, Bob Hope grabbed the back of my head.

02:02:14.500 Yes, Susan. 0.88

02:02:15.580 Yes.

02:02:15.760 I didn't know if you ever performed there.

02:02:19.620 Yeah.

02:02:20.160 Okay.

02:02:21.080 No, at Second City.

02:02:22.360 Did you guys ever...

02:02:23.220 Oh, no.

02:02:24.200 I've never performed at Second City.

02:02:26.300 I've never performed there.

02:02:27.180 I was at Groundling, I think, with Alan Alda back in 1968.

02:02:31.780 I hate all that improv nonsense.

02:02:34.400 When they're good at it, they're good at it.

02:02:35.760 Yeah, you can tell when there's good improv.

02:02:38.020 I'm really good at it.

02:02:38.260 But even good improv is just annoying.

02:02:40.600 I'm really good at it.

02:02:41.140 Oh, the yes ands?

02:02:42.820 Yeah.

02:02:43.160 You do that?

02:02:43.700 Okay.

02:02:44.100 Jim.

02:02:44.660 Yes.

02:02:45.180 It's me and you.

02:02:46.500 Sure it is.

02:02:46.800 We're at a car dealership.

02:02:48.860 Freeze!

02:02:49.700 Hey, is that a Buick?

02:02:54.880 No.

02:02:57.980 Oh, that's right.

02:02:59.200 And see, great job, guys. 1.00

02:03:01.300 It's an invalid in a wheelchair. 1.00

02:03:03.080 Watch me drive it into the wall quickly. 1.00

02:03:09.500 See, this is improv, like Second City or the Groundslings.

02:03:13.260 Watch it hit the train tracks and just fall forward.

02:03:16.260 Just dump them out.

02:03:17.660 yeah like a wheelbarrow full of a wheelbarrow full of burden

02:03:21.560 little turnip legs uh well susan thank you so much for the uh call susan calls in i'm glad

02:03:31.660 you did dear and i was i was actually concerned this call is going to be awful thank you very

02:03:35.800 much for reinforcing thank you for straightening me out on that i was worried that would be bad

02:03:41.280 corning new york that's uh that's where she's from well good for her yeah no she calls every

02:03:47.760 week i i love it she's a good gal sure uh this is let's go to uh benny benny from bayside new

02:03:57.440 york benny what's up hi benny hey good evening guys thank you hey um we completely bombed on

02:04:08.240 all the shows um but for real um as far as um louis doing comic anymore comedian anymore i'm

02:04:16.780 sorry louis is done why would you say that he sells out all the shows that i was just on tour

02:04:22.260 with him and the material i worked a lot in the states with him and then overseas in a bunch of

02:04:28.000 countries he murders on stage yeah and it's it's like it's all a new act murder really on stage

02:04:35.580 Yes, quite literally.

02:04:37.780 Yes, he does. He kills. 0.98

02:04:38.680 He kills people. In India, it's great 1.00

02:04:40.540 because they don't value humanity 1.00

02:04:42.560 that much. That's right.

02:04:43.980 Why would you think that?

02:04:45.800 When was the last time you saw Louis?

02:04:48.500 Yeah.

02:04:50.100 Never.

02:04:51.400 Never.

02:04:52.360 He has a new Netflix special, which will be out

02:04:56.520 sometime in June.

02:04:57.920 It wasn't the other night he shot. He shot at the Beacon.

02:05:00.520 But he's a great comic. You don't have to like

02:05:02.480 but he's a great comic.

02:05:04.440 You can't deny he's a great comic.

02:05:05.540 Your opinion is in the minority of people that enjoy stand-up comedy.

02:05:11.300 People find Louie very funny.

02:05:13.780 Any clip that comes up in my feed when I'm watching videos is great.

02:05:20.980 It's just, this is funny.

02:05:23.740 All right, man. 0.59

02:05:24.660 Punch it out.

02:05:25.420 Remember that?

02:05:26.440 Yeah.

02:05:26.820 Yeah, Louie's, I mean, you could have opinions about comics.

02:05:29.300 but i also think there's an overall um definitive this guy's funny or this guy's not funny i think

02:05:38.480 people have opinions and you might get like this end of the bell curve that people will find this

02:05:43.280 funny and that not funny but overall louis is a funny comic i i think you'd be very hard pressed

02:05:50.260 to refute that we did three nights in chicago it was over 3 000 people he sold out everywhere

02:05:55.340 everywhere we did he sold out

02:05:57.580 and I mean just

02:05:59.320 every show he was killing

02:06:00.580 disappointed

02:06:01.420 his jokes were very tasteless

02:06:06.660 it was very funny

02:06:08.680 which is great

02:06:09.440 there is this

02:06:11.240 kind of take on comedy these days

02:06:14.240 where the really

02:06:16.060 off-putting

02:06:18.920 humor

02:06:19.440 is back

02:06:21.740 you know we went through a lot of the liberal

02:06:24.160 alt comics remember that phase sure where you'd go down a creek and cave uh in queens and it was

02:06:31.300 just lib uh alt comics not funny at all just you know they're looking for people to go yeah the

02:06:39.920 republicans suck uh it did turn around and you know you see some of these comics now doing

02:06:47.100 material that some comics don't like they talk about it like it's it's uh low-hanging fruit or 0.99

02:06:53.700 punching down uh and and why but first of all there's no such thing as punching down no shut

02:07:00.840 up if you're saying that and low-hanging fruit has is an expression that people have used for

02:07:04.860 for decades with comics like there are those of us that will grab especially when it's two two 0.78

02:07:11.920 orbs of low-hanging fruit and a banana so jimmy calls testicles in the heat well yeah loaf and

02:07:18.560 thank you and the banana part i was working at my head while you were talking so i wasn't listening

02:07:23.980 i said two pieces of fruit and a banana like so the fruit and the banana and the two okay

02:07:29.280 it was a bit wordy a little wordy uh but we get it yeah like like hackier jokes or easy

02:07:37.000 sure we all get called on i mean that's something that every comic has done since

02:07:40.820 forever but i mean that's not a new thing where they're saying low but yeah there is a snootiness

02:07:45.780 to certain comics and there are certain young guys and they're decent comics but they're going

02:07:51.020 around complaining about what everybody else is doing and it's almost like you're not enough you're

02:07:55.140 not good enough to make that you're allowed to make the call you can of course you can say that

02:08:00.240 but just understand you're not doing the important work you think you're doing you're not you're not 0.99

02:08:07.500 doing important work stupid yeah you're average you're an average comic yeah that's just my speech 0.98

02:08:14.880 to myself every morning when i wake up as i sit on the toilet for number one because uh like shane 0.99

02:08:23.620 gillis obviously is one of the comic you never heard of him he's pretty funny i've seen him a

02:08:29.320 couple of times that he's one of these comics though that was kind of the the push forward to

02:08:35.780 get away from the nonsense liberal comedy that was just everywhere and he started not that he's a

02:08:42.580 hardcore right-wing comic political on stage but it's funny but some people were like yeah no i

02:08:50.340 don't i don't enjoy that brand of humor yeah i mean that's always the way it's gonna be anybody

02:08:54.860 who's really successful yeah but he was kind of the guy who they tried to punish him right and

02:09:00.140 he didn't do anything but just do his own thing and people flocked to it so he kind of broke the

02:09:05.760 back of that thinking yeah by doing what he did naturally like he didn't try to try anything just

02:09:11.660 did his thing and he's very funny what do you think of the um there there's been that austin

02:09:17.460 la new york comedy rivalry thing and comics have talked about it at that and the the consensus

02:09:24.620 from la and new york especially is that austin is a little too big for its britches you don't 0.70

02:09:31.060 give a crap no not at all they're great to me in austin i i know the guys in austin those comics

02:09:35.720 are probably more genuine to me than most of the guys in la and a lot of the guys in new york yeah 0.97

02:09:41.300 The guys in Austin have been very genuine with me, so I love it down there.

02:09:45.380 I don't just mean Joe either.

02:09:46.580 I mean a lot of just the regular working comics down there.

02:09:49.880 There's really no – it's just – there's no real debate between these.

02:09:53.920 They're just different places for guys to do standard.

02:09:56.180 People make it like it's some East Coast, West Coast – there's nothing there.

02:10:00.740 There has always been the East Coast, West Coast rival.

02:10:03.140 Yes, but they say this though.

02:10:04.760 A lot of the times in Austin too, they are also hypersensitive on the right.

02:10:11.300 I think Adrian Appaloochee said woke right.

02:10:13.720 And there is a woke just the opposite for people who are like, 0.99

02:10:17.360 if you're violating this, you know, it's tribal crap. 0.98

02:10:20.240 So they have it down there too. 0.99

02:10:21.520 They have it in L.A.

02:10:22.140 They have it in New York.

02:10:23.020 It's no different.

02:10:24.120 The scene down there is great though.

02:10:25.580 And I think it's really good that all those comics are getting to go up.

02:10:28.120 Whoever craps on that scene and says it shouldn't exist, 0.99

02:10:30.660 you're a stupid elitist and you're probably just happy you have your spot 1.00

02:10:33.900 and you don't care that other people get their spot. 1.00

02:10:36.140 Stop being so insecure, dummy. 0.98

02:10:38.160 There's room for everybody. 0.99

02:10:40.040 Who cares about the Austin scene?

02:10:41.440 Don't go there if you don't like it.

02:10:43.140 New Yorkers, New York comics seem to be the ones that really go, well, you know, anything but New York is second rate.

02:10:51.000 LA is like that too, though.

02:10:52.460 Yeah, that is true.

02:10:53.660 And they're right.

02:10:54.500 But I mean, LA does the same thing too.

02:10:56.740 I was just out there and I'm seeing people.

02:10:58.880 Well, I've asked to do my podcast and I've been completely blown off.

02:11:02.300 When you see them, they're like, hey.

02:11:04.140 Well, we've always heard of the phoniness of LA.

02:11:06.760 And New York does that too, by the way.

02:11:07.680 New York does do that, but New York is, I think, more willing to bust balls with each other and not take it as personally.

02:11:17.700 I think there's this thought that with the L.A. comics that they have to be kind of nice to everyone because you don't know where that next opportunity will come from.

02:11:27.620 So you don't really want to bust balls on people, but it's part of comedy.

02:11:32.680 In L.A., they're so geared towards TV, too.

02:11:35.140 Yeah, yeah.

02:11:36.120 The whole business was in L.A. pretty much.

02:11:38.660 So it's like you're working on your seven minutes because, you know, for many years, you'd get a deal and maybe get a show.

02:11:44.900 Yeah.

02:11:45.340 And in New York, it's like, all right, I'm going to go have wings.

02:11:47.920 Yeah.

02:11:48.120 What is the end game for a New York comic?

02:11:52.640 I mean, for some of us, it's go to Marshall's and get a belt and finally call it a wrap.

02:12:00.160 Carve, I was here in a beam.

02:12:02.160 Absolutely.

02:12:02.880 I know that's what you were getting to.

02:12:04.200 In a glory hall.

02:12:04.420 We get it.

02:12:06.120 yeah yeah it's uh la did seem to be like the end game they always had the tv show the sitcom

02:12:15.200 focus but that whole thing's gone too no one's making these giant sitcoms anymore network sitcoms

02:12:22.700 right that's gonna break a comic and and he's gonna be the next big thing million dollar

02:12:27.440 contracts syndication deals you're gonna be you know like all the comics that did get those deals

02:12:32.340 back in the uh uh 90s especially uh what is it now no one even makes it a special anymore

02:12:40.120 viral stuff exactly or a viral special like you want you want people who shoot a special

02:12:44.780 on youtube that's all people want to do they want to get something that just hits and sells

02:12:48.400 a lot of tickets remember when louis started putting his specials on his website yep and it

02:12:54.800 was a pioneer he was a pioneer in doing yes he was and uh everyone's like why wouldn't you put

02:13:00.680 not a special, right? Yeah. And

02:13:02.280 now everyone's doing that. It's all

02:13:04.580 about putting it online. But a lot of guys tried

02:13:06.560 to do it on sites and sell it

02:13:08.140 and they didn't do what he did. No, no.

02:13:10.540 Like what, Louis did huge numbers.

02:13:13.000 Oh, yeah. But his fans are very

02:13:14.640 engaged and a lot of guys tried it and just

02:13:16.600 didn't do what he did. Yeah, loyal. I guess

02:13:18.420 it helps if you have a number one

02:13:20.780 comedy on

02:13:22.260 TV. On television for a long time.

02:13:25.000 That show

02:13:26.520 still is relevant.

02:13:29.280 It's not dated

02:13:30.420 in any way and it's still just funny as hell yeah the clips are great and you see like these

02:13:36.900 comics you were on there everyone every one of the comics i've ever known has made an appearance

02:13:43.120 on there and i don't know what louis or the director or whoever did but they they're good

02:13:49.720 they don't come off as stiff or bad they're very natural yeah and for the most part they're playing

02:13:55.680 themselves but that isn't easy to do either no it's it's like how do i how do i play me

02:14:01.240 i don't really know how do i who am i as a person if i'm playing me accurately i'm not good enough

02:14:08.020 to be in this so i can't play me too accurately yeah yeah i trip and i forget my lines some of

02:14:14.560 the surprises in comics who acted one of them is the paulo the paulo very good like really good

02:14:21.840 and then uh oh what's his name he um he's down there in bisbee uh arizona doug uh stanhope great

02:14:28.980 he was really good in uh an episode of louis uh some of them yeah you're like so surprised that

02:14:35.820 they're good even florentine well i was just thinking of florentine yeah was good and look

02:14:40.680 i'm not saying he should be a bad actor but he shouldn't be a good actor yeah why would he be

02:14:45.760 you don't look at jim and think thespian just because when you talk to him he's just kind of 1.00

02:14:49.380 clowning around but when you see him work you're like oh yeah he's really good yeah yeah he was

02:14:53.460 great and he played a comic who like was leaving an upper decker and then fell and hit his head

02:14:58.020 and died or something died i really have not watched the louis series i gotta go back and

02:15:02.980 really watch it because i rewatched the season probably a month ago and was just like this

02:15:07.820 lost nothing i know this is just still an amazing uh funny show uh we'll take another phone call

02:15:15.400 from some of the many fans calling up.

02:15:18.660 Yes, the phone lines have been lit.

02:15:20.480 This is Dave.

02:15:21.440 Dave from Oregon.

02:15:23.040 Uh-oh.

02:15:23.780 What part of Oregon?

02:15:25.220 What kind of American? 0.97

02:15:27.860 The good part. 0.73

02:15:29.260 Oh, right. 0.85

02:15:30.080 You know, the liberal cesspool is concentrated in Portland and Seattle.

02:15:34.820 Yes.

02:15:35.300 There are many, many parts of Oregon in the Pacific Northwest

02:15:39.120 with reasonable, rational people.

02:15:41.380 Seattle's not in Oregon.

02:15:43.440 Seattle's in Washington, yes.

02:15:44.980 Oh, it's in Washington.

02:15:48.140 Portland, Maine to Portland.

02:15:50.560 I'm going to Tacoma, Washington, by the way, early June.

02:15:54.420 I wanted to say something really uninteresting.

02:15:55.960 Philadelphia, Atlanta, L.A. also? 0.95

02:15:59.080 Northern California where the girls are. 0.99

02:16:01.160 No. 0.99

02:16:02.640 Keep on rocking me, baby.

02:16:05.380 I have something to say.

02:16:06.540 Go ahead.

02:16:07.760 Oh, Dave, I'm sorry.

02:16:09.020 We forgot you were on the line.

02:16:11.080 Dave, you're on the line.

02:16:13.320 What a gift.

02:16:14.980 what legends to get together gee thanks once a month we're all falling apart here lifelong fans

02:16:21.960 you guys made magic and and once a month that's only when is the podcast you can do it what's

02:16:29.080 stopping you from happening is it because jimmy's worried about his image you know i'll be associated

02:16:34.240 with first of all right about everything just maybe his delivery is a little off as far as

02:16:39.500 being worried about my image being associated

02:16:41.540 with Anthony, if I was worried

02:16:43.500 about that, July 7th,

02:16:45.580 2015, I would have cut the cord.

02:16:48.780 Have you seen

02:16:49.440 Jimmy's visa bill since he's been

02:16:51.460 married? He needs the gig.

02:16:53.980 Aww. Yeah, Anthony and I

02:16:55.500 talk about a lot of different things. We just had a

02:16:57.460 very productive and lovely dinner.

02:16:59.420 Yeah, yeah. Dinner, we chat

02:17:01.340 about things.

02:17:03.200 Things could be possible. The future's wide

02:17:05.460 open, my friend. You guys are adored.

02:17:07.640 Thank you, thank you.

02:17:08.940 and just i appreciate tonight thank you it's fun yeah it's easy too it really is i i you know

02:17:16.720 sitting here because we talked about sometimes you have a guest and it's like pulling teeth and

02:17:20.820 it um you know some of the old ona days and i knew remember when uh roland would come in and

02:17:28.300 he would pitch guests yeah and we were just like no it's so odd how you can just run the interview

02:17:34.900 You threw your head in a split second when they bring up the name.

02:17:39.260 And he'd bring up a guy, or sometimes they weren't even comics.

02:17:42.080 He'd go like, hey, this guy, Mike, wrote a book about reinstalling bumpers on old cars.

02:17:47.980 What are we going to do with this?

02:17:49.240 And we're sitting there.

02:17:50.300 I run it through my head, and I'm sitting there talking to a guy with the bumpers.

02:17:55.760 And I'm like, no, I can't imagine that.

02:17:58.460 But sometimes they'd sneak through.

02:18:00.520 And a guest would come in, and you're like, oh, God, did we say yes to that?

02:18:03.880 and they're standing outside

02:18:05.520 and we said yes

02:18:06.720 and you can't get rid of them

02:18:08.080 and sometimes we just said yes to get Roland out of the studio

02:18:11.800 and now it's the day

02:18:13.880 they're here

02:18:14.580 he said oh yeah they had the same publicist 0.99

02:18:17.020 and we were so dumb 0.98

02:18:18.480 every time we fell for that 0.92

02:18:20.800 they have Brad Pitt's publicist

02:18:23.280 so if you take him you'll get Brad Pitt

02:18:25.600 we never got Brad Pitt

02:18:27.280 we're lucky we got them

02:18:29.580 we never got the person

02:18:31.260 that was supposed to get us

02:18:32.960 the big star. 0.95

02:18:34.960 And by the way, when the dud became

02:18:36.940 a big star eventually, we never got them back.

02:18:38.460 We never got them back.

02:18:39.740 We had to take another guy from the lower rungs.

02:18:42.780 Another dud.

02:18:44.240 But the guy did our show.

02:18:46.000 He had to take this guy. He's a bumper book.

02:18:48.220 We wanted to get a hooker. We had to take Barry and Barry. 1.00

02:18:53.560 Holy jeez.

02:18:54.740 Alright, we're going to take a quick break

02:18:56.880 and return in moments.

02:18:59.800 It's the Anthony Cumia Show

02:19:01.800 on the Red Apple Podcast Network.

02:19:09.460 It's the Anthony Cumia Show.

02:19:11.780 Entertaining and informative.

02:19:13.740 On the Red Apple Podcast Network.

02:19:17.960 The Anthony Cumia Show.

02:19:20.400 We're here with Jim Norton.

02:19:21.440 He's been here the entire show.

02:19:23.380 Thank you so much, Jimmy.

02:19:24.620 Oh, it was a delight.

02:19:25.780 Always a pleasure to have you on board.

02:19:28.080 That's what I meant.

02:19:28.660 Yeah.

02:19:29.100 uh do you get involved with uh like trans issues do you do you comment on it do you have um any

02:19:40.680 animosity for people that really are are like no no i mean i don't because again it's like my wife

02:19:48.040 is like what more can i say than living my life as i live it like i don't i don't thought police

02:19:55.580 people uh my wife doesn't do that either nikki's not like that she doesn't tell me police 0.68

02:20:00.060 i was driving in and you went the boo police but no i never uh if people if i think people

02:20:08.780 hate trans people and and want them eradicated or to have no rights then i'll be like yeah it's

02:20:13.860 a person i don't really like but no everyone's got feelings some of it's just towards the uh 0.98

02:20:18.140 the political arm of that movement and yeah do you do you have do you see a difference in

02:20:24.280 passable trans girls and guys that are like you're a mental patient 100 you're male pattern balding 0.99

02:20:31.900 you're in a dress with a beard and you're not fully functional you lied in your head 0.97

02:20:36.980 but yes uh there is that i see as a mental patient yeah there's there's a difference between 0.97

02:20:42.640 somebody who is legitimately trans and i think and somebody who's gaming the system gaming the

02:20:47.900 system i do think that some people you know like everyone some people are are misidentifying like

02:20:53.080 you know when emo is the big thing ever that if you didn't know who you were you just went to emo

02:20:57.600 when i was a kid it was devil worshiper like whatever the personality or the identity of the

02:21:02.540 of the of the eight-year period is right we'll just drift into it so you have legitimate people

02:21:08.020 who belong there and then people who drift into it because they just didn't know who they were

02:21:12.000 because there are a lot of trans advocates that don't see any difference in a mental patient man

02:21:18.240 who has some kind of fetish wanting to walk around like that,

02:21:23.420 wanting to shock people, and even worse,

02:21:25.960 sometimes wanting to flash in front of children, God forbid.

02:21:32.840 Yes, but they get a radio show on ABC.

02:21:38.760 But no, I know they don't see the difference.

02:21:40.740 Why would you advocate across the board?

02:21:43.180 To me, it seems like you're really overdoing your virtue signal.

02:21:47.020 It's tribal.

02:21:47.560 It's the same thing. 0.72

02:21:48.980 If you say anything about anybody who is on this side of the white line, we must defend them.

02:21:56.320 And if anything comes from anybody on that, we must attack them.

02:21:59.400 There's no common sense to it.

02:22:01.240 No common sense.

02:22:02.280 Because I've goofed plenty of times on the guys that insist they are women living in a man's body. 0.83

02:22:10.820 No, you're not.

02:22:11.780 I often say that genuine transgender men to women are like one in a billion.

02:22:23.600 It's like they're not very common. 0.96

02:22:26.760 And to say that it's 4% of the population, 5%, whatever it is, no, you're insane.

02:22:33.300 It's a .00%. 0.99

02:22:34.700 The rest of them are people that can't fit into a group. 0.93

02:22:39.680 they see trans people getting attention and they want attention i don't think they're genuine in 0.93

02:22:45.700 any way there is there is a lot of that i would say it's more than one in a billion but i also

02:22:50.080 agree maybe it might not be four percent but i i've known a lot in my line of living you meet

02:22:54.840 quite a few and uh there it's it's i believe the genuine that they were actually transgender but

02:23:01.840 have i met some that i thought were fetishist or cross-dressed yeah of course but i've also met

02:23:07.140 plenty that i'm like no this person is legit and i've known them for years yeah people i still talk

02:23:11.300 to and then the same as they were years ago uh but then you have those that just kind of slide in

02:23:17.040 because they don't know where else to go yeah and it's no one's job to tell them to get out but it's

02:23:21.800 also like don't act like somebody who gets arrested for a hard drive violation and then just goes oh

02:23:27.260 yeah by the way i'm a lady and like in the middle of the trial yeah i mean stop it you know what's

02:23:32.860 going on there so call it out yeah sometimes if you're driving and you kill somebody you just

02:23:38.120 become a woman and then they believe that the driving was actually yeah you didn't mean to do

02:23:43.140 it have you because i see some people fans and stuff and they like really jumped on you and 0.91

02:23:52.080 give you crap about it they seem so against uh you having a transgender wife yeah and they've 0.87

02:24:00.800 really said no screw that guy i don't want anything to do with him sure i mean i i care like you ever 0.99

02:24:06.680 have a fly that you swat away and that's how much i care about people who don't like my co-host 0.94

02:24:12.760 i didn't see a fly that you open with your teeth an unfunny bug

02:24:18.260 no i could i truly yeah do not care like i mean i i don't live for other people right people who

02:24:28.440 pretend to be shocked i've been talking about this since 2003 yeah so uh but i don't force my

02:24:34.160 opinions on people i'm not a virtue signaler so when people do it to me that i just they mean

02:24:39.580 nothing to me it's what you know it reminds me in a way of uh some of these famous 90s rock stars

02:24:46.900 that off themselves yeah and uh like chris cornell sure it's like oh he didn't leave a note

02:24:52.500 have you listened to everything he's ever written that's right that's his note he lived his life

02:24:58.460 in a way and was putting it out there um the suicide shouldn't come as a surprise i mean it's

02:25:04.680 terrible obviously but yeah you you were talking about stuff and living uh your lifestyle and then 0.99

02:25:12.700 to see people going like what i thought it was a bid or they're stupid that should not yeah yeah 0.94

02:25:18.120 i don't i don't care i truly don't care like professionally have you had to deal with that 0.99

02:25:21.760 No, a bunch of fake allies, sure.

02:25:25.100 And a bunch of people who don't like it but would never have the courage to say they don't like it so they just don't interact.

02:25:29.620 But I don't care.

02:25:30.520 I truly don't.

02:25:31.120 People like Joe DeRose is just jealous, right?

02:25:33.420 Joe's a good, eh?

02:25:34.300 I mean, Joe, believe me, Joe is trying to have handlebars installed in his ears.

02:25:40.240 The guy constantly talks about giving in that sense.

02:25:46.560 Of course.

02:25:47.240 It's so funny.

02:25:48.440 Yeah, but you can't live for other people.

02:25:50.340 You know what I mean?

02:25:50.960 No.

02:25:51.000 You're never going to be happy. 0.97

02:25:53.240 The Allies are fake. 0.87

02:25:54.380 I just don't care. 0.78

02:25:55.380 Living well is the best revenge, Jimmy.

02:25:57.800 Jimmy, I love you so much.

02:25:59.200 Thank you so much for coming in.

02:26:00.840 Always fun.

02:26:02.680 Anything to plug?

02:26:03.920 We got literally 10 seconds.

02:26:06.400 JimNorton.com, my site for tours.

02:26:08.660 Who cares?

02:26:09.840 All right.

02:26:10.440 We'll see you next week, everybody.

02:26:11.960 Thanks for tuning in.

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The Anthony Cumia Show - May 11, 2026

The Anthony Cumia Show ｜ 05-10-26

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