The Art of Manliness - #198： Becoming a Human Weapon

00:00:00.000 Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness podcast.

00:00:18.520 So most of us here, if you're living in the modern Western industrial democracy, live

00:00:22.860 relatively safe lives.

00:00:24.440 We're not having to defend our lives from marauding, bloodthirsty criminals or tribal 1.00

00:00:29.660 organizations, but there's always the possibility that our life will be threatened by another

00:00:34.340 human being.

00:00:35.120 And what do you do in that situation?

00:00:38.100 Well, my guest today has spent his life, his career studying and teaching on this topic.

00:00:42.620 His name is Tony Blauer.

00:00:43.600 He's the developer of The Spear System.

00:00:46.220 And today on the podcast, Tony and I discuss all things self-defense, how to develop our

00:00:49.940 situational awareness, how to diffuse threatening situations so we don't even have to use violence,

00:00:55.320 which he calls fighting fire with water.

00:00:57.780 And then we discuss what to do when you actually have to, you know, roll up your sleeves and

00:01:02.960 get dirty and use violence.

00:01:04.600 What's the best tactics to do that, as well as some of the myths that are out there in

00:01:09.120 the self-defense world.

00:01:10.940 Really interesting podcast with some actionable tips that you can start applying to your life,

00:01:14.560 kind of being ready for that situation.

00:01:16.460 And after the podcast is over, make sure to check out the show notes at aom.is slash Blauer

00:01:21.880 for links to resources we mentioned in the podcast.

00:01:24.220 All right, Tony Blauer, welcome to the show.

00:01:34.340 Hey, how are you, man?

00:01:35.760 Well, I know I've been following you on Instagram for a while.

00:01:38.140 I've been reading your content online.

00:01:39.680 You've got some great courses out there, video programs about self-defense and just being

00:01:47.820 prepared for those situations you hope you'll never be in, but you want to be ready for.

00:01:51.880 Can you tell us a little bit about your background?

00:01:53.720 How did you come to, you know, develop the SPEAR system?

00:01:57.220 Like, what is the SPEAR system and just what your general, you know, curriculum vitae, right?

00:02:04.800 Yeah.

00:02:05.340 So, you know, that's like one of those questions I don't even know where to start.

00:02:10.640 The Real Reader's Digest version of that is, you know, I grew up in the 60s.

00:02:17.680 And for whatever reason, I felt like I had way more fear than any other person in the world.

00:02:23.220 And it was one of those weird things like, I mean, I was always worried about, you know,

00:02:29.060 someone jumping out from behind a corner.

00:02:30.880 And it was funny if you think back to the old Clouseau, you know, Inspector Clouseau, Pink Panther stuff, you know, Cato jumping out.

00:02:40.000 And it was just weird.

00:02:42.020 I just always thought about it.

00:02:42.980 I was drawn and fascinated to the Wild Wild West and Bruce Lee and the original Green Hornet, you know, black and white back in the days, just stuff changing the color.

00:02:52.360 And I was mesmerized.

00:02:55.180 I was transfixed by that stuff.

00:02:56.920 And I wrestled when I was a kid.

00:02:58.600 And then the Bruce Lee craze hit and I got into the only school near us was Taekwondo.

00:03:04.440 And I got into a couple of confrontations, you know, like any kid does.

00:03:08.780 And realized because I was really studying all of Bruce Lee's, you know, message and his methodology,

00:03:16.040 I realized that, you know, my wrestling and my Taekwondo, I didn't have any striking skills.

00:03:21.720 And the first real fight that I had, you know, I almost lost it.

00:03:27.820 But it was real emotional and psychological for me.

00:03:32.040 I was very frustrated by why my heart was pounding and why I had this adrenaline dump.

00:03:37.380 Because nobody ever talks about that stuff.

00:03:39.760 And I didn't understand, you know, the psychology of fear.

00:03:43.240 And, you know, that's our big, big thing now, all these decades later.

00:03:48.500 And I realized, so I went and I studied boxing because I saw that as a big, as I saw, you know,

00:03:55.460 no hands as a big hole in the game, if you will, or in the arsenal.

00:04:01.260 And started boxing, you know, had some crazy sparring confrontations there that were worse

00:04:08.540 than any street fights I've ever had.

00:04:10.140 I mean, and it wasn't, you know, I always had a dream of teaching self-defense.

00:04:17.280 You know, I remember my mom asking me when I was like 13 years old, what are you going

00:04:20.560 to be when you're older?

00:04:21.680 And she said, do you want to be a doctor or a lawyer?

00:04:24.080 And I said, no, mom, I'm actually going to, you know, I'm going to kind of start my own

00:04:28.760 self-defense system like Bruce Lee.

00:04:30.440 You know, and she asked me while I was reading a Bruce Lee magazine, right?

00:04:33.140 You know, and she pat me on the head and go, okay, honey, we'll talk about this when you're

00:04:36.620 older.

00:04:36.860 You know, and it's funny, and I joke about this any time we talk about this, you know,

00:04:41.100 you know, it's now, you know, 43 years after that question.

00:04:46.400 And I joke that my mom still doesn't know what I do, but I think she's proud of me.

00:04:49.900 Um, but you know, the, you know, the funny thing about this is like the, the evolution

00:04:56.660 to what brought me here hasn't changed from me as a kid trying to understand fear, trying

00:05:02.080 to understand situational awareness, and then trying to figure out why I was just, I was

00:05:06.780 just talking at this, this weekend with, uh, you know, one of the world's, you know, best

00:05:11.620 athlete, a competitive athlete.

00:05:12.980 And we're, I was doing some mindset coaching and, uh, and I shared the story about me as

00:05:20.120 a competitive skier because, uh, yeah, uh, concurrent to all my martial arts.

00:05:24.020 I was very, very, um, competitive in skiing.

00:05:27.520 I grew up in Canada and, uh, I tell the story at our, our performance talk.

00:05:32.460 So one of the things that we do now is, is talk about, we do seminars on, on mindset and

00:05:36.780 fear management, uh, pre, pre event.

00:05:39.080 And it could be, I've got a, uh, public speaking.

00:05:41.340 I've got to, um, uh, I've, I'm going to compete, uh, whether it's a jujitsu tournament or,

00:05:46.920 uh, uh, you know, uh, CrossFit competition.

00:05:50.380 And, and what's interesting is this comes back to that same, same stuff of that.

00:05:56.160 If you don't manage your fear, you can't optimize your performance.

00:06:00.040 And that could be literally, and let me, let me reframe this and rephrase it for you.

00:06:06.780 If fear throttles everything we do in our life, from how much money you make, to where

00:06:10.960 you work, to who you marry, to, uh, how much weight you can lift, uh, to whether you take

00:06:16.080 up a new skill and most importantly, whether you defend yourself.

00:06:19.400 And what we've noticed between victims and victors is the difference is what they do with

00:06:25.840 the fear, the thoughts of fear before the event.

00:06:30.120 Cause during the event, if you get into the fight and you probably know this from things

00:06:33.300 in your life, um, that when it actually starts and you start doing it, the fear dissipates.

00:06:39.120 Right.

00:06:39.640 You know, it's, it's all that, that the, you know, the buildup and that's the difference

00:06:43.200 between like, you know, we asked the question in our, in, you know, in our talks is what's

00:06:46.920 the difference between choking and freezing?

00:06:48.760 Is it just semantics?

00:06:50.500 And, um, and, uh, you know, we explain it as that an untrained person freezes, the trained

00:06:55.880 person chokes.

00:06:56.580 In other words, they let the pressure get to them.

00:06:58.860 They had the skill.

00:06:59.520 They knew the, they knew the game, they understood what to do, but they still choked.

00:07:03.220 So anyways, all of this, I'm trying to compress the, how did I start?

00:07:06.000 What's the background?

00:07:06.700 What's the pedigree is, uh, you know, I was, uh, uh, focused on the, the kind of the, the,

00:07:14.820 uh, um, what's the word I'm looking for here?

00:07:17.460 Uh, you know, how do I get, uh, you know, how do I get more functional tools?

00:07:24.040 So my focus was, oh, you know, I'll get some boxing tools.

00:07:26.860 I'll get some Taekwondo tools.

00:07:28.500 I'll get some grappling tools, but none of those, the, you know, the, the, the, the purchase

00:07:33.980 of the tool, whether, you know, whether you actually bought it, you know, uh, maybe if

00:07:38.060 I get these new boxing gloves, I'll be a better boxer.

00:07:40.240 Right.

00:07:40.560 You know, it's like that whole, you know, if I train with this person, you know, I'll get

00:07:44.360 better in, you do to a degree.

00:07:46.260 I don't want to knock that.

00:07:47.540 I don't want any of your listeners to misunderstand this.

00:07:49.500 None of those things addressed what was going to stop me from throwing a punch or stop me

00:07:57.220 from verbally diffusing or stop me from being a courageous bystander in life, whatever it

00:08:02.380 is.

00:08:02.600 Right.

00:08:03.000 And so, uh, and you know, I was talking to this athlete, I was telling you that in, in,

00:08:08.300 and I was sharing the story as a skier, I never won a race, but I was considered one of

00:08:13.580 the best skiers on my team.

00:08:14.700 I always lost control.

00:08:15.720 I always wiped out.

00:08:16.580 I always caught a tip.

00:08:17.660 I was always going too hard.

00:08:19.320 And years later, I was thinking, why was that?

00:08:22.500 And I realized that I always skied scared.

00:08:25.760 I was afraid to let down my parents.

00:08:27.380 They're both on the ski patrol.

00:08:28.500 My father was vice president of the national ski patrol.

00:08:30.820 People thought I was going to represent Canada in the Olympics.

00:08:33.000 That's how good people thought I was like as a raw talent developing.

00:08:37.540 And I was so scared that they were right.

00:08:40.240 And I used to think to myself, if I'm so, if I'm so good, like everyone says, you're so

00:08:44.460 good, Tony, if I'm so good, why was I so scared?

00:08:46.860 Why did I feel like I wanted to projectile vomit?

00:08:48.920 Why were my palms sweaty?

00:08:50.460 Why did I have butterflies in my stomach?

00:08:52.300 And this is our big push now is recognizing that fear throttles everything we do.

00:09:00.540 And if we don't manage our fear, we don't do what we thought we were going to do or what

00:09:05.520 we should have done or what we had to do.

00:09:07.060 And I came about this kind of epiphany through studying self-defense.

00:09:14.140 And I was working for my father, 1980, making four bucks an hour in his, not a manufacturer,

00:09:24.760 but an import-export business, ladies' clothing.

00:09:26.980 And I was in the back.

00:09:27.800 We just unpacked a bunch of shipments from the Orient.

00:09:30.780 And they had these big, big crates. 0.61

00:09:32.440 And I was punching the shit out of them and doing jump back kicks and just messing around 0.89

00:09:36.360 before we threw the boxes out. 0.94

00:09:38.180 And one of my dad's clients sees me.

00:09:40.360 He pulls me over.

00:09:41.180 He says, hey, I know you're into all these martial art tricks.

00:09:46.000 And back in the day, he was like old school.

00:09:47.640 He called them tricks, right?

00:09:49.580 He said, my son's having a bully problem in school.

00:09:52.000 Would you train him?

00:09:53.060 And this is literally how my business started.

00:09:55.340 I was 20 years old.

00:09:56.840 And I said, sure, Joey.

00:09:58.400 And he said, yeah, Mitch, he's 15.

00:10:00.340 And it was his son.

00:10:01.600 He said, he's having a bully issue.

00:10:02.980 And he says, I want you to take this seriously.

00:10:05.560 I don't want you to, just because we're friends, do me a favor.

00:10:09.340 I want to pay you.

00:10:10.060 And I said, I can't take your money.

00:10:11.860 And he said, no, I want you to take this seriously.

00:10:15.900 And I was making four bucks an hour.

00:10:17.280 And he said, the house 20.

00:10:18.900 So I'm thinking he wants five lessons, right?

00:10:21.760 Right.

00:10:22.860 And he goes, I said, I can't take your money.

00:10:25.580 He says, I'm paying you 20.

00:10:28.420 I want you to plan this.

00:10:30.820 And suddenly, I realized he's talking about 20 bucks an hour.

00:10:34.180 And I'm like, holy.

00:10:35.840 So I go and I plan this lesson.

00:10:37.480 And I start training this kid.

00:10:39.580 And what am I teaching him?

00:10:40.680 I'm teaching him a little bit of grappling.

00:10:42.160 I'm teaching him a little bit of boxing.

00:10:43.460 I'm teaching him a little bit of kicking.

00:10:44.820 And he's 15, right?

00:10:46.280 So he's really upset.

00:10:47.240 And, you know, about this fight.

00:10:50.820 And, you know, it's impacting his self-esteem.

00:10:53.260 And any bully situation affects everybody.

00:10:55.460 But, you know, you're 15.

00:10:56.460 That's that age, right?

00:10:58.080 And, you know, a couple of lessons goes by.

00:11:01.560 And he says, hey, when can I do something?

00:11:03.180 Now, I want you and your listeners to understand this.

00:11:05.940 This is our fixation, especially in North America, is that if I get something, I cool.

00:11:10.800 If I get a diploma, I can do something.

00:11:12.660 If I get this degree, then I'll be successful.

00:11:15.320 And we put our faith in something other than really our own competence, our own confidence.

00:11:22.320 And you can be overconfident and incompetent, right?

00:11:25.620 But not the other way around.

00:11:26.640 If you're truly competent, you will have confidence.

00:11:28.720 And so this kid's going, like, when can I do something?

00:11:33.960 And I was always a bit of a sarcastic philosopher.

00:11:37.160 So I said, Mitch, let me ask you a question.

00:11:39.880 I said, do you know how to throw a punch well?

00:11:41.820 He goes, not really.

00:11:43.180 I said, do you know how to move your head, slip, block?

00:11:46.640 Not really.

00:11:47.780 I said, okay, do you know how to move?

00:11:49.980 You know, dance around.

00:11:51.960 Now I'm just learning.

00:11:52.740 I said, well, I suggest you don't get into a fight until you know how to do those things, right?

00:11:56.080 It was one of those cute moments where I was trying to, you know, smack him upside the head and go, you have no toolbox.

00:12:01.500 And this was the mistake that I made.

00:12:03.620 And it was the greatest.

00:12:05.180 It was like the god of war hit me with this lightning bolt because about a month later, they had a fight.

00:12:10.760 And I told him, avoid, avoid, avoid.

00:12:13.100 So he's running through the back of the school.

00:12:14.840 The kid's there with his buddies, sees Mitch coming around there late for class.

00:12:18.700 He trips him.

00:12:19.440 Mitch goes flying in front of, like, 10 or 15 kids, everyone laughing at him.

00:12:23.040 His books go flying.

00:12:24.140 He picks up all his books.

00:12:25.160 So picture this.

00:12:25.700 He's gathering his books, and he's pissed, and he's swearing.

00:12:28.780 So he's swearing, you piece of, you know, and this guy gets, what did you call me?

00:12:33.440 And Mitch, he's, like, at that break point, right?

00:12:36.300 And he's picked up his books, and he shoves the kids.

00:12:38.860 He's got his books in his right hand.

00:12:40.020 He shoves the kid with his left hand. 1.00

00:12:41.080 He says, get the fuck out of my face, man. 1.00

00:12:42.480 I don't even know you. 1.00

00:12:43.620 And, you know, why have you been bugging me since the beginning of school?

00:12:46.660 And the guy's like, what are you going to do about it, right? 0.91

00:12:48.140 And they're in that bulls*** testosterone, you know, posturing back and forth. 0.99

00:12:52.420 And Mitchell grabs him, slams him against the locker bank, and says, leave me the f*** alone. 0.99

00:12:56.840 And he's telling me the story. 0.53

00:12:58.080 And I go, and?

00:13:01.540 He goes, he dropped me with a left hook. 0.60

00:13:04.060 I said, Mitch, like, why didn't you f***ing bob and weave or do a block or do anything we told you?

00:13:10.200 And he pauses, and he kind of looks.

00:13:12.400 He's, like, looks inside of his mind to reconnect to the fight.

00:13:17.560 And he says, oh, well, I was holding him with my left hand, and I had my books in my right hand.

00:13:22.860 And if you just picture that, like, you know, both your blocking and striking tools are tied up.

00:13:28.300 Now, years later, we realized that this is all part of the SPEAR.

00:13:32.040 So SPEAR is an acronym.

00:13:33.160 It's Spontaneous Protection Enabling Accelerated Response.

00:13:35.380 And what we've done is, like, a 20-year study on the startle flinch response.

00:13:41.700 And what happens is when your body flinches, it contracts around whatever it's holding.

00:13:49.560 And so if you're holding something in your hands, it could be a police officer with a flashlight and ID.

00:13:56.940 It could be, you know, like a mom with grocery bags and her keys in the hand. 0.99

00:14:01.280 If something happens, when your body has a micro flinch, the cross-extensor reflex locks up around there.

00:14:06.620 And it's really, really important for people to know.

00:14:09.740 So at this moment, here I am, 20 years old.

00:14:11.880 He's 15 years old.

00:14:12.680 He describes the fight. 0.98

00:14:14.340 And I'm like, holy s***. 0.96

00:14:15.500 Of course he couldn't block or slip or bob and weave. 1.00

00:14:17.720 He was holding the guy, right?

00:14:18.800 Picture that.

00:14:19.560 So what I did immediately is I realized, oh, my God, we teach self-defense wrong.

00:14:24.100 And I meant we collectively, self-defense instructors.

00:14:26.300 If you looked back then, you know, in the 80s, 90s, and even today, most people teach self-defense through trying to understand position.

00:14:35.600 Okay, get me in a headlock.

00:14:36.580 Okay, grab me here. 1.00

00:14:37.480 Okay, hold a gun to my head. 1.00

00:14:38.920 Okay, attack me with a knife. 1.00

00:14:40.020 Not like this, like that, right?

00:14:41.300 And we unconsciously coordinate and choreograph our training.

00:14:48.340 And so none of that develops any kind of situational awareness.

00:14:53.860 We talk about it.

00:14:54.860 Everyone talks about situational awareness.

00:14:56.320 But there are no drills for it in the context of mono-mono self-defense.

00:15:00.880 Nobody really does anything with verbal defuse and de-escalation.

00:15:05.820 And so what I did right with him right then, again, this is 1980.

00:15:08.940 I picked up his books.

00:15:10.220 I grabbed him.

00:15:11.060 And I said, show me what happened.

00:15:12.100 And we worked it out.

00:15:12.820 And I realized, okay, you know, he would need to do this and do that.

00:15:17.060 And he'd have to drop the books or throw them in the guy's face. 0.97

00:15:19.260 He'd probably take a shot. 0.74

00:15:20.760 Maybe he could push the guy away. 0.59

00:15:21.960 And it was like this really interesting research.

00:15:24.900 And it was the genesis of my approach to self-defense.

00:15:27.840 And what we immediately started doing is looking at evidence through video and photo of real fights.

00:15:36.920 And then we reverse engineered them.

00:15:38.480 We'd go, okay, if this got to here, then what went wrong before that?

00:15:41.620 And then how do we change that?

00:15:43.400 And so it was purely studying real violence, not sparring for self-defense or martial arts for self-defense.

00:15:51.340 And that's one of our big, big, big goals in 2016 is to re-educate the general public to understand that there are three categories of what looks like self-defense.

00:16:05.020 There's martial arts, which – and I've been a martial artist for over three decades, four decades now.

00:16:11.580 Martial arts is not self-defense.

00:16:13.180 Martial arts teaches you complex motor skills that may or may not be applicable in a self-defense situation.

00:16:18.240 Does that make sense?

00:16:18.920 Yeah.

00:16:19.080 It's physical movements.

00:16:20.640 There's combat sports.

00:16:21.880 Combat sports are not self-defense.

00:16:24.360 Again, combat sports gets closer to violence because you're actually hitting each other.

00:16:28.480 You're actually dealing with pain and the training and the conditioning.

00:16:31.180 But it's still not teaching you about detect and avoid, defuse, and de-escalate.

00:16:36.700 But you're getting closer.

00:16:37.920 But it's still physical moves that may or may not be applicable in a self-defense situation.

00:16:42.020 Like, for example, pulling guard and trying to get somebody in a triangle choke, amazing move, isn't a good move to do if it's a multiple assailant and you're the one, right?

00:16:51.000 And there's all the bad guys.

00:16:52.300 And so people misunderstand that and people are subjective listeners so they look at that and they fixate and then, you know, I'll get a whole bunch of hate mail people saying Tony said jiu-jitsu is not good.

00:17:03.020 That's not what I'm saying.

00:17:04.140 I'm saying careful what you practice.

00:17:05.740 You might get really good at the wrong thing for that scenario.

00:17:08.920 There's only one type of self-defense and that's real-world self-defense.

00:17:13.240 And so if you look at the three categories, if you say I want to learn how to protect myself, you need to carefully go, wait a minute, there's martial arts and there's a thousand of them.

00:17:22.660 There's combat sports and there's maybe 10 legitimate combat sports.

00:17:26.320 And then there's self-defense.

00:17:28.880 And most people don't have a good definition for self-defense and they don't even know how to define it and how to reverse engineer it.

00:17:34.940 So you can't possibly know how to practice it as effectively.

00:17:38.520 And I tell people this, you can learn how to defend yourself in four hours.

00:17:41.900 You can learn how to defend yourself in eight hours.

00:17:43.720 In a day, you know everything you need to know about protecting yourself.

00:17:48.960 Do you have all the skills you might want?

00:17:50.900 Should you practice a little bit more?

00:17:52.360 Yeah.

00:17:53.240 You know, but it's like I could teach you in four hours how to do CPR and first aid and the Heimlich maneuver and you can actually save somebody's life, right?

00:18:04.300 Prevent a death in four hours.

00:18:06.540 But does that make you a doctor?

00:18:08.160 No.

00:18:08.460 And so that's the big epiphany, light bulb moment I need people to get is that, wait a minute, I don't need to be a doctor to save somebody's life.

00:18:16.880 I need to be a doctor to do brain surgery or a heart transplant.

00:18:20.180 And so you don't need to be a black belt to protect yourself.

00:18:23.020 You just need to understand situational awareness, how to manage fear, and then a couple of simple gross motor movements.

00:18:30.420 So there's a lot unpacked there.

00:18:32.000 That was awesome.

00:18:33.000 Let's talk about this.

00:18:33.640 You talked about, okay, people don't know what self-defense is.

00:18:36.660 They don't have a good definition for it.

00:18:38.000 Like what is your definition of self-defense and what does a good self-defense program look like?

00:18:43.060 Yeah, so the definition is real simple.

00:18:46.020 If danger is imminent, you do everything you can to choose safety.

00:18:49.720 I'll say that again.

00:18:50.840 If danger is imminent, you do everything you can to choose safety.

00:18:55.540 And so one of the things we talk about is that don't let ego or pride dictate your next strategy.

00:19:02.960 If your training model doesn't include walking and running away from a confrontation, I remember doing scenarios, you know, we started doing these force-on-force scenarios back in the 80s.

00:19:15.520 And I would say to the group, okay, confrontation is going to happen over here.

00:19:19.280 And then you see that doorway, you know, near the bathroom in the exit of my school.

00:19:25.040 If you can break contact and get to there, that's the police.

00:19:29.020 That's security.

00:19:29.920 That's, you know, that's safety.

00:19:33.540 And I remember it was one of our first, first seminars.

00:19:37.140 I think it was like 1987.

00:19:38.540 This guy, Larry, puts up his hand.

00:19:40.180 I go, yeah, Larry, question.

00:19:41.380 He goes, with all due respect, Mr. Blower, you know, we came here to learn how to fight.

00:19:46.140 I think we all know how to run, you know.

00:19:48.440 And I said, Larry, your answer just revealed the biggest problem most males have and most people who get defiant in a situation.

00:19:56.420 Why would you stay closer to danger because of politics or because of ego or because of pride?

00:20:02.260 You don't know how this fight's going to turn out unless you've got some sort of crystal ball. 0.99

00:20:07.020 So get the fuck out of danger, man. 0.93

00:20:09.640 And so a true program. 0.96

00:20:11.600 So, you know, like this is over.

00:20:14.120 Almost three decades ago, we created Detect, Defuse, Defend, the three Ds.

00:20:18.240 Detect and avoid, defuse and deescalate, and a push comes to shove, defend yourself, be your own bodyguard.

00:20:24.280 And that's what, you know, when you say, hey, what's a good self-defense program look like?

00:20:28.520 It's one that is professional and mature and takes into account the moral, ethical, and legal considerations and medical considerations of just not being, you know, having like this brashness or bravado.

00:20:42.580 I mean, I just, there's so much stuff out there that when you watch, I just watched a video of some guy teaching his system where, like, on this video online and on his YouTube channel, he actually says kind of very cavalier, not even cavalier, just, he goes, if somebody kills somebody using my system, then they probably deserved it and I'll be happy.

00:21:03.060 And I'm like, whoa, dude, we live in the most litigious time of our world. 0.99

00:21:07.900 Like, what a stupid, immature, unprofessional thing to say. 0.99

00:21:11.120 You know, just the way it came across, it's that macho, martial that gives us in the community like a bad rap with the general public. 0.99

00:21:19.400 But our definition is super, super simple, and I don't think there's ever been a definition for self-defense.

00:21:26.840 It's dangerous, imminent, you do everything you can to choose safety.

00:21:30.420 Now, think about that, Brett.

00:21:32.040 Does that give you permission to run?

00:21:34.740 Yeah.

00:21:35.260 Yeah.

00:21:35.560 Does it give you permission to barricade yourself?

00:21:37.960 Yep.

00:21:38.300 Yep.

00:21:38.620 And does it give you permission to try and terminate the threat if you need to?

00:21:43.040 If you do.

00:21:43.200 That's, yeah.

00:21:44.460 So suddenly we have something that is so simple and so short.

00:21:47.900 What do I need to choose safety?

00:21:48.980 And it gives me this move away from the danger to move towards the danger.

00:21:52.980 But what it's actually asking my brain to do is to actually look at the stimulus, look at the scenario, and then choose the response that best supports safety.

00:22:06.600 Okay.

00:22:06.740 And that has a moral, ethical, and legal foundation.

00:22:10.840 So let's talk about detect.

00:22:12.000 Like, how do you get better at detecting possible threats?

00:22:15.700 Because, like, most of us, for me, you know, I live in the suburbs of Tulsa, Oklahoma.

00:22:19.460 It's pretty nice, comfortable.

00:22:21.020 Everything's safe.

00:22:21.800 Everything's, like, so I don't have a lot of encounters with threat.

00:22:25.240 You know, I don't know if I would know, or maybe I do know, right, on a primal level what a threat would look like.

00:22:31.660 But how do you get better at detecting threats?

00:22:34.600 So there's two simple things, and that's a great question.

00:22:39.940 So I always tell people, every victim of violence who lived the tale of the tale always said they had a bad feeling before an attack.

00:22:47.760 Almost every single book and every person I've talked to, if they're open enough to let me peel the onion, they'll go, and yes, I did.

00:22:56.300 So I've had people go, no, it just happened, you know, just out of the blue.

00:23:00.820 You know, and I go, well, very few things happen out of the blue.

00:23:04.160 And the bottom line, if something happens out of the blue, then, like, there's no system that's going to prepare you for that, right?

00:23:09.300 So we can only train for the stuff that you can see, that you can feel.

00:23:16.540 And so there's a part of, now, here's an interesting thing.

00:23:20.280 Our system, Spear, it's all based on startle flinch.

00:23:23.680 It's based on emotional and psychological readiness.

00:23:25.500 So it's based on this emotional startle flinch component and the connection between physiology, psychology, and behavior.

00:23:35.720 And so it's interesting, the DNA of our system is an 80,000-year-old.

00:23:42.280 It's what, like, one of the jokes I make in our seminars, I go, first of all, if you're a pterodactyl, can you put up your hands?

00:23:47.600 I know they're short, but put up your hands.

00:23:48.980 And, you know, everyone kind of looks around and some people smile and go, there's no pterodactyls here, right?

00:23:52.960 They're dead, right?

00:23:53.940 They're extinct.

00:23:54.480 But there's humans here.

00:23:55.420 How did you get here?

00:23:56.440 So one of the things that I talk about in our course is recognizing that we are all human weapons,

00:24:00.440 that before the walls were put up around the city and somebody said the cavalry is going to save us

00:24:06.820 and we've got a militia outside the walls and we're at war.

00:24:09.680 In other words, there was a time when you had to fend for yourself, you had to cook for yourself,

00:24:12.960 you had to hunt for yourself.

00:24:13.900 And as we got domesticated as a culture, these survival requirements became dormant or domesticated.

00:24:23.380 But they're inside each one of us.

00:24:25.500 What we're lacking because we're a little coddled as a generation is the ability to identify fear,

00:24:33.680 identify the problem, manage our fear, and then be aggressive.

00:24:38.960 And so coming back to your question is like you said, maybe it's primal.

00:24:42.880 It absolutely is.

00:24:44.840 You will know when you have a bad feeling about something because it's a feeling that's bad.

00:24:50.120 And I'll tell you this, I try to make things like I go, if Ernie and Bert from Sesame Street were going to phrase this,

00:24:55.920 what would they say?

00:24:56.980 Because we can use the big words and talk about terms like circumstantial spontaneity.

00:25:08.240 Intuition.

00:25:08.720 Yeah, well, the thing is like, again, getting good definitions and trusting.

00:25:13.980 We talk, you know, you bring intuition up.

00:25:16.240 You know, I live, I try to keep things in easy to memorize phrases.

00:25:22.920 So people who spend a day with us leave there and everything's in their brain.

00:25:27.960 So your reticular cortex in your brain is a part of your brain where you say, hey, this is important for me.

00:25:33.960 Watch out for this.

00:25:34.920 Once you store that and the reticular cortex is actually part of developing situational awareness.

00:25:39.780 So if you read a little bit and study a little bit about, you know, some of the habits or some of the setups and you think about that, you visualize it, you put it in your brain.

00:25:47.260 So, for example, let's say you decide to buy a new car or you decide you're going to move and rent a house or get a new apartment.

00:25:53.400 And think about a time you did that in your life, probably the next day when you said, that's it, I'm moving.

00:25:58.660 Where am I going to move?

00:25:59.880 You started noticing all these for rent signs or for sale signs.

00:26:03.280 Now, they were there that morning, right?

00:26:05.740 But until you said to your brain, this is important for me to look out for, right?

00:26:10.060 I'm going to buy a new car.

00:26:11.320 What's my price range?

00:26:12.440 What's that?

00:26:12.880 I'm going to pick this car.

00:26:14.080 Suddenly you see five of them on the road that week and you're like, oh, there's one.

00:26:17.260 There's one.

00:26:17.560 That's cool.

00:26:18.400 But they were there the same, you know, yesterday.

00:26:20.640 You just didn't notice them because it wasn't important.

00:26:23.140 So part of developing situational awareness, you know, for people who maybe aren't going to get to a course and just think about this, is when if there's a trend like when the knockout game was going around or if there's, you know, things that the police or the news or a good article says, this is how this pickpocket or this mugging or this carjacking is going to get set up.

00:26:45.260 As scary as it is to think about it, think about it, visualize it, and then let your brain go, okay, that would be important for me if I saw those pre-contact cues.

00:26:54.780 But the real pre-contact cue is the bad feeling.

00:26:57.900 And the bad feeling is we tell people, listen, if you get a bad feeling about something, spend those extra five minutes and address it.

00:27:03.860 If it was a false alarm because you're just maybe paranoid or overthinking something, guess what?

00:27:11.780 You're still safe.

00:27:12.580 It comes back to choose safety, right?

00:27:14.620 I've got a bad feeling.

00:27:15.580 I think that car's following me.

00:27:17.240 Should I ignore it or should I pull into this gas station here and see if they pull into or should I drive to the police station or should I, you know, speed up and if they follow me, I'll drive home and then they'll know where I live.

00:27:28.320 You know what I'm saying is like, so you can do little things where you find out, oh, you know, that person isn't following me and I just misread that.

00:27:36.580 Well, guess what?

00:27:36.960 You're safe.

00:27:37.920 But if you ignore it, maybe they're getting closer.

00:27:40.360 And if you completely ignore it, maybe what was going to happen ends up happening because you ignored it.

00:27:44.900 So those are two really simple ways.

00:27:47.820 A third one that's a great one is to think about if you were going to, remember, here's another thing I want to share with your listeners.

00:27:55.860 First, bad guys only want one of three things, property, body or life.

00:27:59.600 That's the list.

00:28:00.540 I mean, I try to keep things in threes.

00:28:02.540 Everything's three.

00:28:03.120 It's three I's, instincts, intuition.

00:28:05.160 If you trust your instincts and you trust your intuition, whatever you do will be intelligent.

00:28:09.740 You know, bad guys only want one of three things, property, body or life.

00:28:14.000 So the third way to develop great situational awareness is actually to spend an hour or a day or a weekend kind of observing yourself and your routine and going, when would I attack Brett?

00:28:23.440 When would I attack Tony?

00:28:25.020 Because I know my routine better than anyone else.

00:28:27.040 So you want to case yourself.

00:28:28.400 Yeah.

00:28:28.960 Yeah.

00:28:29.460 So you kind of like, you know, and it's pretty easy to follow yourself because you're right there.

00:28:32.980 Right.

00:28:33.520 So, you know, it's kind of like detach a little bit, you know, and, you know, find yourself like, oh, here I am at the ATM.

00:28:39.760 I just took out a hundred bucks cash.

00:28:41.980 I did not look around for any shady characters.

00:28:44.940 I'm on my cell phone telling my buddy I'm going to be late for the movie.

00:28:49.180 You pick up tickets and, you know, pay you back after.

00:28:54.920 And I'm not looking around as I'm stuffing 20s in my pocket and I'm on my phone.

00:28:58.740 So I have no situational awareness. 0.99

00:29:00.500 Like that would be a moment where you stop and go, that was dumb. 0.99

00:29:03.240 Right. 0.98

00:29:03.540 Like, like if somebody was looking at me just to sucker punch me, grab my phone, grab my wallet or come up.

00:29:09.000 Right.

00:29:09.360 So you look at those things as how do I behave in an underground parking lot?

00:29:12.540 Where am I standing in an elevator?

00:29:14.100 Or, you know, what, you know, how am I handling myself, you know, in, in this, you know, in this bar? 0.99

00:29:20.120 I just bumped into a guy and, you know, he was, he was a real asshole and I apologized and I went over and ignored him. 0.99

00:29:30.620 I didn't watch to see if he was drinking and looking at his buddies and pointing. 0.99

00:29:33.860 I mean, there's simple things that you do where you go, if, if this wanted, if this person wanted to escalate this, I'm not even thinking about that.

00:29:42.080 Gotcha.

00:29:42.720 So let's move on like to diffuse.

00:29:44.360 Cause I think a lot of guys who are listening to this and I think a lot of men have a problem with this aspect is like, they want to like, they see a threat and they want to do something about it.

00:29:52.740 But you are, you should, your next step should be diffuse or fighting fire with water.

00:29:57.700 Right.

00:29:58.120 So how, what's, what's, how do you diffuse a threat?

00:30:00.960 What, what's your, what's the approach we should take?

00:30:03.380 Right.

00:30:03.600 I really recommend you don't throw water in a person.

00:30:06.520 But yeah.

00:30:06.860 That's not good.

00:30:07.580 Probably.

00:30:07.900 That would probably just escalate.

00:30:09.600 Yeah.

00:30:09.920 So the, exactly.

00:30:10.840 So the, uh, the, uh, the water fire thing was a metaphor for anyone listening.

00:30:14.400 We don't literally mean, you know, throw water in the person's face.

00:30:17.460 He might punch you right after that.

00:30:18.780 So, so, so detect and avoid all works almost all the time.

00:30:23.620 If it doesn't, it's usually because you have a situation like in an office, in an elevator, you're in a confined space, or it's a situation where, um, part of your routine means that you're always going to see that person.

00:30:35.400 So you need to be able to verbally, uh, defuse and deescalate.

00:30:39.600 So in that, in that process, what we're talking about is, is understanding, uh, a concept we call choice speech.

00:30:45.620 And in choice speech is understanding language that's going to create count, conscience and accountability.

00:30:51.440 That's going to make the person reflect on things.

00:30:54.140 It's also using language that doesn't, um, you know, fan the flames of the confrontation.

00:30:59.820 Someone says, Hey, what are you looking at?

00:31:01.520 And you look at them and go, you know, I'm looking at you.

00:31:04.000 What's your problem, man?

00:31:05.300 You know, what are you looking at, man? 0.99

00:31:06.260 And it's like, I'm just trying to figure out how ugly your parents are. 0.97

00:31:08.600 You know, like, you're right. 1.00

00:31:09.980 Like shit like that. 0.99

00:31:10.920 Clearly, you know, it's going to, uh, it's going to create more of an adrenaline dump. 1.00

00:31:14.540 It's going to create more of an adrenaline dump in the bad guy.

00:31:17.340 So, um, the, the, it's, it's really each scenario is different, but it's thinking of, again, that language that's going to be congruent with avoidance.

00:31:31.120 And so it's, you know, you know, and, and at times you, you might, you might yell at the person, get away from me, man.

00:31:39.340 Like, you know, like, like, just go, go with what you feel like the scenario will always influence and dictate.

00:31:46.460 Um, but in general, the, the verbal defuse, and it's interesting, you know, that might seem confusing to someone listening going, Hey, how do you like, how do you aggressively assert yourself and consider that a verbal defuse?

00:31:58.620 If the, if the outcome was the person left, you know, so you might have to hear somebody, uh, um, jiggling at your door and, and you scream to, uh, uh, your roommate who isn't there, you know, Bob, get the shotgun right now.

00:32:18.960 Somebody's trying to break in.

00:32:20.100 Right.

00:32:20.380 You know, and there's no Bob.

00:32:21.900 Right.

00:32:22.720 Right.

00:32:22.980 But you're like alone freaking out and you like, you, you know, there's two guys outside your door trying to, you know, they might hear that.

00:32:28.620 And, you know, whereas if you said like, um, Hey guys, you know, I'm home alone right now.

00:32:33.120 I really don't know anything about self-defense.

00:32:34.660 I think, you know, you, you're breaking the law and you should feel bad about that.

00:32:37.620 And, you know, uh, like, like defusing it like that, you're probably going to get the door kicked in.

00:32:42.700 Right.

00:32:42.960 And so that's what I mean in, in a cartoony fashion here that there's times to, you know, be, uh, uh, verbally aggressive and assertive.

00:32:51.640 And there's times where you just, you're just talking to that person.

00:32:54.980 And that's that conscience and accountability.

00:32:57.260 Um, and, uh, I think people need, it's a little bit deeper.

00:33:01.240 People are really a lot better at this than they realize.

00:33:04.660 Don't overthink this.

00:33:05.680 You know, we, we sell ideas every single day.

00:33:09.140 You know, a guy trying to pick up a girl is a great salesman. 0.94

00:33:12.040 Here's why you should go on a date with me.

00:33:14.060 Um, uh, you know, you know, if you're a salesman, you're, you're great at it.

00:33:17.680 And so what we're doing is we're selling the idea of, we don't want to fight.

00:33:22.300 And I had a confrontation once, um, and it was very funny.

00:33:26.120 I'm, uh, you know, originally when I conceptualized this whole D2 concept, it was all about, you know, being peaceful about it and trying to resolve this without any violence. 0.93

00:33:37.640 And, uh, I had these two guys at my school, uh, who came in and, and they were, you know, they turned out to be jerks and, and, and, uh, and, uh, you know, I spent like 15 minutes talking to them. 0.86

00:33:49.280 And, and then, you know, they said on the way out, you know, I said, Hey man, why don't you guys come in and try a class? 0.98

00:33:55.100 And they went, no, it's okay.

00:33:56.040 We're training somewhere else.

00:33:57.140 We just want to see.

00:33:57.860 And I realized that they had just been there checking out the school.

00:34:00.380 You know, they were like secret ninja spies.

00:34:02.120 And, um, and I said, Oh, well, you know, you could have told me that right in the beginning.

00:34:06.220 I would have told you, you know, I didn't, you know, I've been here explaining the courses and the, and, and our structure and everything.

00:34:11.320 You could have saved me the time by being a little transparent.

00:34:13.980 You know, it's cool.

00:34:14.500 You're from another school.

00:34:15.820 Uh, you could have just said, Hey, what's different about this?

00:34:18.020 We just would have talked about stuff.

00:34:19.220 And, you know, you still could have come in and try to class, but you didn't have to pretend you were, you know, and they kind of like looked at me.

00:34:25.700 And then one of them said, uh, you know, uh, you guys do any multiple sailing drills? 0.96

00:34:30.120 And I'm like, you mean like if you two like attacked me and like, they just kind of like looked at me like dicks. 0.97

00:34:37.400 And I said, here's what's going to happen, man. 0.99

00:34:38.740 I got really angry.

00:34:39.940 I said, here's what's going to happen. 0.97

00:34:42.000 We're going to fight, but I'm going to break your leg. 0.98

00:34:45.040 I'm going to bust your knee. 1.00

00:34:46.940 And, and then you're you. 0.99

00:34:48.280 And I looked over at his buddy and I, then you're going to freak out and you're going to run because you're a chicken and you're going to leave him here. 0.90

00:34:53.980 But I'm a nice guy.

00:34:54.740 So what I'm going to do is I will call you an ambulance and tell them, you know, what happened.

00:34:59.500 And, uh, and that's how that would go down.

00:35:02.240 And I was like angry.

00:35:03.120 Right.

00:35:03.400 And they just looked at me and they went, it cooled down, man.

00:35:05.200 You know, we're, you know, we're just asking a real question.

00:35:07.640 I go, yeah, sure you were.

00:35:08.660 And they left.

00:35:09.520 And I called up one of my buddies and I was furious with myself because I lost my cool.

00:35:13.520 Right.

00:35:13.980 And I was pissed.

00:35:15.400 And, uh, uh, I think it was like 25 or 26 at the time.

00:35:19.640 And, uh, uh, much, much less mature than I am right now.

00:35:23.520 You know, a little ego in there, but I was angry that I'd been kind of duped and misled for 20 minutes.

00:35:27.840 And, uh, I called up my buddy Walt and I said, dude, you know, Mr. Verbal Defuse, guess what I just did?

00:35:33.600 I just told the guy I was going to break his leg and then call him an ambulance.

00:35:36.480 Cause I'm a nice guy and I was in his face.

00:35:39.100 And, and I go so much for Mr. Verbal Defuse.

00:35:42.000 Right.

00:35:42.660 And my buddy Walt pauses and he goes, so had the fight go.

00:35:46.340 And I go, now they left, you know, he goes, so you didn't fight because you verbally defused it.

00:35:51.440 I go, what he goes, you know, he says to me, not all verbal defuses are going to be like touchy feely nice.

00:35:58.540 Sometimes you assert yourself.

00:35:59.960 And it was, it was an interesting paradigm shift for me because, you know, I was kind of like, you know, had this myopic view that it had to be, you know, so the balance there is again, what I said earlier is that you want to, whether you go soft or whether you go hard with the verbal,

00:36:16.080 the goal should be based on the definition, am I doing what I need to do to choose safety here?

00:36:24.340 Hopefully, hopefully that helps.

00:36:25.460 No, that was really helpful.

00:36:26.480 So moving on to defend, right.

00:36:28.420 And you said like, you don't really need to defend.

00:36:30.620 You just need to know a few gross motor movements. 0.84

00:36:32.760 You don't need to know any katas or like how to do arm locks. 0.98

00:36:36.340 I mean, what are the, like the basic gross motor movements you need to know to defend yourself, to be a human weapon?

00:36:41.500 Yeah.

00:36:41.660 So, so one of the things that we do in our, in our one and two day courses is we show video interviews and some footage and talk about people who've had absolutely no training,

00:36:52.580 but have fought off like home invasion or carjackers, attempted murder, attempted rapist, right?

00:36:58.280 Like, like it's not, we're not like going, see this guy doing a double leg here.

00:37:02.460 Here's how you stuff that, right?

00:37:03.760 It's not like sport versus sport.

00:37:06.120 And, and, and let me put this down for anybody who's like a little myopic and selective listener here.

00:37:13.240 You know, I'm friends with some of the best fighters in the world, war fighters who kill terrorists.

00:37:18.180 I'm friends with some of the top MMA champions in the world.

00:37:21.820 I love all that.

00:37:23.400 What I'm saying here is that your personal defense and combat sports are different things.

00:37:29.660 You can't do a weekend seminar with us and then jump in a cage and fight a trained fighter or even an amateur boxer, because when you agree to their rules, they're going to tear you up.

00:37:40.940 They will light you up.

00:37:42.080 But what we're doing is, is by thinking that that's what the fight will look like, or that's how it'll go.

00:37:50.160 What we're doing is we're subordinating ourself to that event.

00:37:55.420 And we're visualizing what people who are skilled in that are going to do to us.

00:38:00.360 And that's not at all what self-defense is like.

00:38:02.860 And so when I think, you know, if I ask somebody, what do you describe some self-defense moves, they'll say things like elbow, knee, punch, headbutt.

00:38:14.620 I say, okay, and so describe a scenario.

00:38:17.080 Somebody's grabbed me like this, and I do that.

00:38:19.980 In other words, they've already seen themselves getting attacked, and then they're thinking about a physical move, almost like a Houdini situation.

00:38:28.480 You know, look at most self-defense is like Houdini self-defense.

00:38:31.580 And so what I mean by that is he's agreed to have somebody tie his hands behind his back, put chains around his feet, put them in a box, and then submerge them in water, right?

00:38:41.380 In other words, you know, you need to be really skilled to get out of that, and then everyone goes, holy, right?

00:38:48.240 And so when we see, you know, the choreography in the John Wick movie, if you saw that, great choreography, and when we see, you know, demos of the best jujitsu guys, the best Thai boxers and all that,

00:39:00.980 we go, man, wow, and it is truly amazing.

00:39:04.660 But if those guys were in a sudden street attack, they would be just explosive, you know, with one or two moves, and the bad guy would be dropped or down.

00:39:13.120 They wouldn't get into the highly technical, and some of the stuff that took them years to cultivate would never even be called upon in that sudden self-defense situation.

00:39:24.680 So what we want is really a simple gross motor, primal gross motor movement, core to extremity movements.

00:39:33.620 And so if you can do a push-up, you can do a palm strike.

00:39:35.860 If you can do a press, you can do a palm strike.

00:39:38.180 If you can do any movement where you're, you know, that movement where your hands, so if somebody was in your face with a knife, with a gun, grabbed your throat, grabbed your shirt, was threatening you,

00:39:47.960 your start of flinch would immediately lock and load your hands.

00:39:51.220 And so, you know, I don't know.

00:39:53.600 We've got a ton of videos online of people, you know, look at that stuff.

00:39:56.700 They can, you know, research this themselves.

00:39:59.720 But, you know, suddenly there's a jack-in-the-box moment where the bad guy's right there,

00:40:04.560 where you're in that verbal situation, and you're going, hey, man, I don't want to trouble,

00:40:07.440 and the next thing you know, it escalates quick.

00:40:09.360 Your hands will come up as you're trying to.

00:40:11.260 This is, again, behaviorally based.

00:40:13.300 Your hands are going to be up almost like you're patting the air in front of the guy going, hey, man, like, take it easy.

00:40:18.140 Your fingers will be splayed.

00:40:19.460 Your arms are going to be outside 90.

00:40:21.220 And what your listeners should look for is our outside 90 fingers splayed, some of the spear drills,

00:40:26.780 so they see this, they get like a physical representation of what I'm describing here.

00:40:31.880 And from that movement, you can actually fire, you know, finger jab, palm strike, forearm, elbow right from those movements.

00:40:38.420 What we teach people in our real close, like our confined space, be your own bodyguard, our CrossFit defense course,

00:40:46.340 our one-day PDR course, any one of these courses, we've got different programs, let's say, for different categories of person

00:40:53.780 based on their occupation or their background, is we're just using what we call, you know, this human weapon system movement pattern.

00:41:03.160 And if you think about, you know, pushing away danger, if I, if, you know, we were standing beside your wall right now,

00:41:10.720 and all of a sudden you heard a big crack and you looked and the wall started to come down,

00:41:14.940 the first thing you do is flinch and then your hands exactly would come up and you would slam.

00:41:18.800 If you thought you were going to get crushed by the wall and you were close to it,

00:41:21.680 your hands would slam against the wall and push it up, push it up there.

00:41:26.040 If I said, hey, Brett, come over, I need you to help me move a couch up my stairs.

00:41:30.280 And you're like, I hate moving.

00:41:31.860 But, and you were at the bottom, it would be that same core of extremity.

00:41:34.960 You'd lower your center of gravity.

00:41:35.920 You'd be driving from your feet, through your hips, through your core,

00:41:39.400 but your hands would be up outside 90.

00:41:41.260 If you're pushing a car out of some mud or out of, you know, out of the snow,

00:41:45.760 and you were standing, you know, behind the car and your buddy was trying to get the wheels to catch,

00:41:49.760 you'd be in the same position.

00:41:51.080 So this is a movement pattern using this kind of like intuitive kinetic chain.

00:41:57.960 It's explosive.

00:41:59.040 It's got way more power than a psychic or a palm strike at close core.

00:42:04.160 And that's what we, that's our big go-to move is that your hands are going to be up.

00:42:08.340 How do you just smash somebody with your palms?

00:42:10.940 You know, and every martial art teaches a palm strike,

00:42:12.960 but the way we teach it is it's coming out of the startle flinch.

00:42:16.640 And that's the secret sauce.

00:42:17.940 If they're, you know, if we're going to go, well, why is yours, you know, this or that?

00:42:21.240 It's what we're using kinesiology and physiology to get people to connect to it

00:42:26.180 versus a complex motor skill.

00:42:27.900 And so we teach, you know, extreme close quarter elbows.

00:42:33.980 You know, when you flinch, your hands are coming up.

00:42:36.120 Your rotator cups at this point are your best friend.

00:42:38.240 So if the bad guy's real close, when you flinch, rip an elbow straight up or across.

00:42:43.020 So if you think about this, if I say, hey, pretend you're in your car and put your grab for your seatbelt.

00:42:47.060 So you visualize this.

00:42:48.180 If I'm sitting in a driver's seat and I go, cop, cop, cop, put your seatbelt on.

00:42:51.120 And you swing your arm across to grab your seatbelt, right?

00:42:54.740 Like that's a horizontal elbow.

00:42:56.980 That elbow will slice somebody open, right? 0.57

00:42:59.780 So you've got to make contact with the person.

00:43:02.580 You know, if you've got like an itch in the middle of your back

00:43:07.020 and you reach up to scratch your back, that's a vertical elbow.

00:43:10.540 And scratching, you know, so what we do is we're demystifying the whole martial connection.

00:43:15.500 And we go, you already know how to move this way.

00:43:17.340 You already know how to throw this tight elbow, this short elbow.

00:43:19.740 You already know how to palm strike.

00:43:22.840 You know how to throw a knee.

00:43:24.300 I mean, if you can put your foot up on a chair or a park bench and tie your shoe before you're about to go for a jog or a walk,

00:43:34.620 you've got the range of motion, opening and closing your hip to do a knee.

00:43:39.880 And so in an extreme close quarter, gouging somebody's eyes, pulling somebody, throwing an elbow, throwing a palm strike

00:43:46.320 are simple, simple moves that somebody literally in a couple of hours can, you know, be guided through by, you know,

00:43:52.540 one of my trainers just shows you a couple of little patterns.

00:43:55.720 And we have you do drills.

00:43:57.000 We do drills like in the air, on person and then on targets so that you get to, you know, develop a little aggression.

00:44:02.920 But if you just play with that stuff, like every time, like do you ever do push-ups?

00:44:07.280 Yeah.

00:44:07.960 Okay.

00:44:08.260 So when you do a push-up, you're probably thinking about your posture and a plank position and your shoulder position.

00:44:12.680 Next time you do push-ups, I want you to pretend that this is the kinetic chain of a palm strike.

00:44:17.260 And that every time I do a push-up, if I'm visualizing that the floor is my opponent's face and I'm driving away from it,

00:44:25.860 your push-up will get a little faster, a little bit more aggressive, but you're connecting it to a stimulus response.

00:44:31.820 And so it's kind of a neat little awareness piece.

00:44:35.840 And so the next time you're standing in front of somebody with your hands up, which is basically, you know, part of that push-up position,

00:44:41.480 you're saying, hey man, seriously, get out of my personal space, just back off.

00:44:44.700 I said, I'm sorry for cutting you off or whatever the scenario is that you're trying to defuse.

00:44:50.720 And now suddenly you realize that this went from imminent danger to immediate danger, right?

00:44:55.160 That moment where you're, okay, it looks like we're going to fight, but I'm going to be morally and ethically reasonable here.

00:45:01.360 I'm going to try and defuse this.

00:45:04.440 You know, I just saw him ball up his fist and now he's locking and loading and things are going into slow motion.

00:45:10.140 You're already loaded.

00:45:11.320 Boom, those hands fire out. 0.69

00:45:12.820 And that's just your push-up position.

00:45:14.880 So you said something that's interesting when you asked me the question about to explain a little bit more about the defense stage.

00:45:21.640 I want people to have this light bulb moment in this interview right now.

00:45:27.960 You're not, if legally, morally and ethically, we're not teaching you to fight.

00:45:33.380 We're teaching you to fight back.

00:45:37.480 If you cooperate with a predator, you get whatever was going to happen before.

00:45:44.020 It's a choiceless choice.

00:45:45.280 That means if somebody was going to, if someone's going to mug you, if someone's going to rape you, 1.00

00:45:51.240 if someone's going to move you to the secretary of crime scene, torture you, and then kill you, 0.89

00:45:54.020 if you cooperate with them, whatever was their plan is going to happen, all right?

00:46:00.500 So we're not teaching you to fight.

00:46:02.300 We're teaching you to fight back.

00:46:04.880 And I think that's a huge thing that I want everyone to kind of pause and think about is what is fighting back?

00:46:11.080 Fighting back means danger went from imminent to immediate, and I need to protect myself or my family.

00:46:16.980 Gotcha.

00:46:18.840 So what are some big myths about those situations where you actually have to defend yourself that a lot of,

00:46:25.060 you see a lot of people have about self-defense?

00:46:28.060 Like, you know, what role does, do weapons play in self-defense?

00:46:32.940 Are most encounters that we're going to have, are they going to be close encounters where we're actually not going to be able to get to a weapon?

00:46:38.200 We'll have to use our hands.

00:46:39.000 And what are some of the big myths out there about self-defense?

00:46:41.080 I think one of the really, really big ones is, like, concealed carry and weapons.

00:46:52.140 And, you know, if you're in an active shooter situation, if you're in an active shooter situation and you have concealed carry,

00:47:04.000 that's a great tool to have if you're not, like, in the kill zone when something's happening.

00:47:11.440 And even then, you know, it's still a great weapon to have.

00:47:14.360 But most confrontations, most confrontations are, at least the ones that you can actually influence the outcome, happen at extreme close quarters, right?

00:47:24.520 And so you need to have this startle-flinch convert.

00:47:28.940 You need to have, like, when that holy moment happens, I call it the jack-in-the-box moment, right?

00:47:33.800 We had, at a couple of seminars, an old jack-in-the-box. 1.00

00:47:37.960 And I said, here's what I want you to do. 0.97

00:47:39.520 You know the clown's going to pop. 0.66

00:47:40.740 You don't know on which turn it's going to pop.

00:47:42.300 I said, I want you to put your fingers up, like, ready to do, like, a finger jab, like in the Three Stooges, right?

00:47:46.800 And I want you to get right there, like, right where the lid is.

00:47:49.320 And I want you to, when the clown pops up, I want you, as it's coming out, I want you to finger jab it, right?

00:47:54.380 And nobody can.

00:47:55.360 And so here's an example of what I mean by this false confidence with self-defense. 0.96

00:48:00.600 I know the clown's going to pop. 0.94

00:48:01.940 I just don't know when, and I still couldn't hit him. 0.81

00:48:05.500 In other words, between stimulus and response is gap time.

00:48:08.320 And so this is the false dichotomy of, oh, I've got this belt, I've got this level, or I've done these 10,000 reps.

00:48:14.700 Think about this.

00:48:15.520 I've done 10,000 hours.

00:48:16.800 I've done 10,000 reps.

00:48:17.880 I'm really good at getting out of a headlock.

00:48:20.140 I'm really good at escaping this move.

00:48:22.320 I'm really good at doing gun disarms.

00:48:23.860 What people don't realize is when you say that I've done all this training to get out of this headlock is that you've always done one more rep letting yourself get in a headlock.

00:48:35.140 You've always done one more rep letting somebody stick a gun in your face so that you can do all those reps defending against the gun, right?

00:48:43.540 And it's a big, big, you know, when people have this realization during the course, they're like, holy.

00:48:47.840 Now, don't, again, don't jump on this and go, Tony said that stuff, you know, you shouldn't do that.

00:48:53.300 That's not good.

00:48:53.760 That's all I'm saying.

00:48:54.300 You need to know that.

00:48:55.060 But what is more important is D1 and D2.

00:48:58.120 How do I avoid this?

00:49:00.020 What does situational awareness look like?

00:49:02.280 What are the pre-contact cues?

00:49:04.300 And here's a big one that most people think of situational awareness as an external skill.

00:49:10.280 It's an internal skill as well.

00:49:12.100 And it's of tantamount importance.

00:49:14.180 It's not a secondary thing.

00:49:16.300 You might have a bad feeling before you pick up something external.

00:49:19.800 I've got a bad feeling.

00:49:20.780 You look around.

00:49:21.740 You know, my intuition picked up something and it sent me some sort of fear spike.

00:49:26.920 And now what I'm trying to do is like decode that.

00:49:28.820 I'm trying to read that.

00:49:29.580 What is this feeling?

00:49:30.740 Why do I have it?

00:49:33.640 But situational awareness is also looking inside your head and going, why am I still here?

00:49:39.040 Why aren't I acting on that?

00:49:41.320 One of the things that I like people to think about is just cognitive dissonance.

00:49:44.820 That's like our brain trying to pretend things are right, like correct things that we know aren't right and going, no, they wouldn't do that to me or that can't be happening.

00:49:54.200 And, you know, there's a lot of, you know, the biggest thing, and I know this is like a, like just a short kind of like, you know, compressed talk about 30 years of research.

00:50:05.320 But there's so much information that we try to pack in, it doesn't manifest itself either, you know, on game day or when we go to execute because of performance anxiety and we can't get out of our head.

00:50:17.160 We, you know, and that's to me the biggest secret that, you know, or the area to look at, you know, for, for all your listeners is in anything in life is, you know, what is going to hold you back is going to be part of your belief system and part of your understanding of, of the psychology of fear.

00:50:35.160 You will notice the biology of fear and the physiology of fear first, those butterflies, that, that nervous sensation, you know, the avoidance to do something and, you know, and you get that fear spike in your body.

00:50:47.800 But that's the sign of, am I going to use this as a trigger and as fuel to move towards what I'm perceiving as danger or am I going to, you know, shrink from this and it's going to throttle what I have to do in, you know, for me, obviously my bias is self-defense, but there's something transcendent that happens, you know, when, you know, you do, you do a course where the focus is your, your safety and the safety of a loved one.

00:51:16.440 And you get to the end of that and you go, you know what, my self-defense IQ has changed drastically and, uh, I will protect myself or a loved one.

00:51:28.180 And then if you look at that and you kind of use that as a, as, as a barometer against any other challenge in life, what could be more scary than a violent confrontation?

00:51:38.980 Like asking somebody out on a date, opening a business, uh, uh, you know, uh, asking somebody to, uh, lower their voice or talk to you with a little bit more respect.

00:51:49.360 Like all of that pales in comparison to, you know, being in a D3 situation.

00:51:54.940 So, uh,

00:51:55.980 So it's, it sounds like, yeah, I mean, it sounds like you're trying to do more besides teaching people how to defend themselves.

00:52:01.940 Like, it sounds like one of the goals of your, what you're doing too, is like to, yeah, like you said, transcend that as well and improve other aspects of their life.

00:52:08.920 Is that?

00:52:09.880 Yeah.

00:52:10.260 I mean, that's a serendipitous aspect of, of the course.

00:52:13.720 Like, I'm not like, you know, I'm not going to have a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you know, a business card that says life coach.

00:52:20.840 Life coach, Tony Blower, life coach, you know, human weapon.

00:52:23.560 But yeah, but, uh, but, but, you know, my focus is, and has been for three decades plus teaching self-defense.

00:52:31.880 What we've noticed is, you know, I'll get a letter from a mom who does the course goes, Hey, you know, uh, um, uh, I taught my son who's been terrified of swimming, how to swim using some of your fear management principles.

00:52:43.840 Thank you so much.

00:52:44.740 Uh, email from a dad, Hey, I got my teenage daughter off of antidepressants using your psycho behavior and just sticking with her. 1.00

00:52:52.160 And I'm like reading that going, Holy, like, like, like, like, I don't know how they did it, but there was something in the program that connected with them that gave them some sort of strength, some sort of roadmap to do that.

00:53:05.840 Uh, we had, uh, um, uh, you know, a, uh, a CrossFit coach listened to one of our stuff and, you know, went out and, and, uh, PR'd something that he'd been working on for 18 months and realized that he had been doing that

00:53:22.040 lift in the fear loop with visualizing fear and failure and, and, uh, just seeing the map we do, you know, we do this, this block called the, uh, cycle behavior, which is the neural circuitry of fear.

00:53:33.620 Just what happens when your brain gets this fear spike.

00:53:36.440 And, uh, so people see it and, you know, suddenly it's like the, it clicks in their head and they go, I got to try that thinking this.

00:53:43.200 And sometimes it's that simple.

00:53:45.380 It's just an idea holding you back.

00:53:49.280 Um, you know, so, you know, when I was 13 as a ski racer, I would ski as hard as I could thinking, don't fall, don't fall.

00:53:58.400 Like, that's not the way to ski.

00:54:00.280 Right.

00:54:00.920 You know, so, you know, if you're mountain, if you're on a mountain bike and you're going down a trail and, and, you know, you, you're looking for rocks or you're looking for openings.

00:54:10.320 Don't hit that rock.

00:54:11.100 Don't hit that rock.

00:54:11.700 Right.

00:54:11.940 You know, or there's an opening, there's no, and it's so simple.

00:54:15.460 Uh, you know, you could be sparring with somebody and going, I hope he doesn't counter me when I try this.

00:54:20.080 And you don't realize that you're right.

00:54:22.200 I mean, you're just, it's just slowing down kinesthetic perception and proprioception.

00:54:26.700 Right.

00:54:27.020 So if you have any doubt, doubt creates hesitation that throws off the timing from your brain.

00:54:33.460 This, the, like this, this, this, uh, uh, how you're, how your brain, this, uh, there's a, like a neuroscientist.

00:54:39.600 How your brain links up a symbol and how you're talking to yourself.

00:54:43.040 And if the timing is off just a little bit there, it can change everything.

00:54:48.060 And, uh, it's very subtle, but, you know, getting, going back to, you know, uh, uh, this

00:54:53.760 transcendent stuff, it's, we throw it out there.

00:54:58.080 We say, Hey, by the way, you know, if you can defend yourself, do you think you can do

00:55:03.160 all these other things that require you to take a deep breath and step towards the danger

00:55:08.600 in your life, right.

00:55:09.440 To get outside your comfort zone, because, you know, and so there's like, there's, you

00:55:14.520 know, 10 minutes where we talk about that transcendent value.

00:55:18.200 I really believe, and like I said, this has been my passion since I'm a kid, um, started

00:55:24.100 off telling you that, you know, that, that I didn't understand why I was so afraid, you

00:55:27.760 know, as a wrestler, I was afraid as a skier, I was afraid I'd be walking around.

00:55:31.340 I was afraid when I was in school, I was afraid.

00:55:33.640 And this, I was, this obsession with understanding fear led me to develop a self-defense program

00:55:39.880 where, uh, understanding the difference between the physiology of fear and the psychology of

00:55:45.280 fear was, was liberating for anybody who just started to use it.

00:55:49.920 And it wasn't touchy feely, weird psychobabble stuff.

00:55:52.700 It was just like, if I think this, I move like this.

00:55:56.400 If I think this, I move with a little bit more flow.

00:55:59.180 And, um, you know, it's not even, you know, uh, you know, what, you remember the no fear

00:56:04.520 company that, yeah, yeah.

00:56:06.420 So, you know, I was doing a talk down in Miami at, uh, what a palooza, this big, you know, 0.99

00:56:11.680 fitness competition.

00:56:13.100 And I did a talk to all the athletes, they have 1300 athletes there.

00:56:16.380 And, and I did a talk to about four or 500 of them.

00:56:19.800 Uh, and I said, how many of you nervous for this week?

00:56:22.900 And like, you know, I just put their hands up.

00:56:24.620 I go, listen, uh, you remember the no fear shirts?

00:56:29.300 And they're like, yeah, I go.

00:56:30.180 So the slogan, no fear is not cool.

00:56:33.080 We think it is.

00:56:34.500 But when you think that having no fear is where you need to be to perform, then you're always

00:56:42.700 going to be performing with this kind of like unconscious weight of like, why am I scared?

00:56:47.760 Why'd I have butterflies in my stomach?

00:56:49.180 Why do I, how come I don't feel so confident, you know, uh, confident right now?

00:56:53.220 And, and I said, I want you to think of the no fear slogan spelled this way.

00:57:00.400 K N O W fear, no fear that if I go, Oh, there it is. 1.00

00:57:05.360 If you embrace fear, if you look at an eye, if you go, Hey, you fear.

00:57:08.940 And I wouldn't talk to too much because of Murphy's law, but, um, but you know what I mean?

00:57:12.620 It's like, wow, I just got a fear spike there.

00:57:14.740 What does that mean?

00:57:16.080 Does that mean, uh, I need to rethink my strategy.

00:57:19.020 Does that mean I'm in danger?

00:57:20.300 Does that mean I, and in other words, it's, it's, it's like there's a blip on the radar.

00:57:28.100 Think of the fear spike as a blip on the radar, like, like for like, you know, somebody who's

00:57:32.020 like in the military and they get this blip on the radar and they go, okay, I need to

00:57:36.540 check this out.

00:57:37.200 And if it's nothing, we're good.

00:57:38.780 And if it's something, what are our contingency plans for this?

00:57:42.260 In other words, the blip, but to ignore it changes everyone's safety.

00:57:47.040 And so the fear spike is a blip on your radar and you address it.

00:57:50.740 Right.

00:57:51.260 And, uh, and that was the coolest thing is, so it's not no fear.

00:57:54.580 It's, I got to get to no fear, which is, uh, uh, embracing and understanding that, that,

00:58:00.980 that fear can, can fuel, uh, you know, my next performance.

00:58:05.060 This is awesome.

00:58:05.400 Well, Tony, this has been an awesome conversation.

00:58:07.120 Uh, before we go, where can people learn more about, uh, you and your programs and your

00:58:11.920 work?

00:58:13.400 Uh, probably the, uh, easiest thing to do is just go to our website, tonyblower.com.

00:58:18.440 And, um, there's links to articles and videos, uh, you know, on that we've got, uh, um, a ton

00:58:26.480 of, uh, ton of resources there.

00:58:28.700 We've got a, uh, a training page, which if you just click the calendar icon there, it'll

00:58:34.540 take you right to it.

00:58:35.560 But if you, you know, if you, if you feel like writing down, it's regonline.com forward

00:58:47.380 slash spear, uh, but the calendar links there and what that page has is like, uh, you know,

00:58:52.220 uh, about 10 videos that you can watch, uh, some articles and interviews and a list of

00:58:57.140 all of our courses.

00:58:57.940 If you're law enforcement, military, we've got closed courses listed there.

00:59:01.440 If you're a, uh, self-defense instructor, uh, who wants to join our team, I mean, our goal

00:59:06.400 is try and make the world safer.

00:59:08.000 We've got a, a train the trainer program and then we've got, uh, resources, uh, you know,

00:59:13.200 for just individuals who, you know, want to come and just get this one day, um, course

00:59:17.940 and, you know, just get a little bit safer, better, better awareness.

00:59:21.220 Awesome.

00:59:21.380 Well, Tony Blower, thanks so much for your time.

00:59:22.880 It's been a pleasure.

00:59:24.140 Awesome.

00:59:24.560 Thanks, Brett.

00:59:25.120 Thank you.

00:59:26.560 My guest today was Tony Blower.

00:59:27.840 He's the developer of the spear system.

00:59:29.920 You can find out more about that and other stuff that Tony's done at Tonyblower.com.

00:59:34.940 Well, that wraps up another edition of the art of manliness podcast.

00:59:38.180 For more manly tips and advice, make sure to check out the art of manliness website at

00:59:41.180 art of manliness.com.

00:59:42.320 And if you enjoy this podcast, I've gotten something out of it.

00:59:44.680 I'd really appreciate it.

00:59:45.480 If you give us a review on iTunes or Stitcher that helps spread the word about the show and

00:59:48.940 also just tell your friends about the show.

00:59:50.140 I'd really appreciate that as always.

00:59:52.060 I appreciate your continued support.

00:59:54.400 And until next time, this is Brett McKay telling you to stay manly.

The Art of Manliness - May 06, 2016

#198： Becoming a Human Weapon

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