The Art of Manliness - #631： How to Prevent and Survive a Home Invasion

00:00:00.000 brett mckay here and welcome to another edition of the art of manliness podcast you're lying in

00:00:11.560 bed at night and you hear a noise downstairs there's someone in your house and if there is

00:00:15.520 do you know what to do while we like to think we'd rise to the occasion and readily dispatched

00:00:19.580 with the bad guys my guest day argues that without preparation and training you're likely to flounder

00:00:24.160 and you should have put more thought into how to keep the invader out of your house in the first

00:00:27.960 place his name is dave young and he's a security expert and the author of how to defend your family

00:00:31.900 and home outsmart an invader secure your home prevent a burglary and protect your loved ones

00:00:36.140 from any threat we begin a conversation with how dave got involved with security training the

00:00:39.920 intensive field research he did for his book and the basic equation criminals use in deciding whether

00:00:44.340 or not to make your house a target we then delve into how to tweak that equation to your favor

00:00:48.340 beginning with casing your house like a criminal would we go over the vulnerabilities to look for

00:00:52.040 as you walk the perimeter of your property and the actual changes you can make to deter would-be home

00:00:56.500 invaders dave then walks through what to do if someone does invade your home including the

00:01:00.140 criteria to use and picking a place to hide choosing a weapon to fight back and selecting

00:01:03.880 an engagement point to confront the intruder we also get into the importance of firearm training

00:01:07.360 if you decide to own a gun for self-defense and we end our conversation with the oft overlooked part

00:01:11.360 of surviving a home invasion the months and years of psychological and judicial aftermath

00:01:15.220 after the show's over check out our show notes at aom.is home invasion

00:01:18.620 all right dave young welcome to the show thanks for having me brett so a couple years ago you

00:01:31.620 published a book how to defend your family and home it's about home security self-defense how

00:01:36.940 to protect yourself from home invasion burglaries but before we talk about that let's talk about

00:01:40.420 your background you have a career you created a career for yourself doing self-defense and being

00:01:45.720 a security consultant how did that happen well you know i've been actually pretty blessed looking at

00:01:50.200 it now going back and looking at it then but when it was actually happening i probably didn't think it

00:01:54.800 was too much of a blessing i grew up on the opposite side of the tracks as most people say you know i was

00:02:00.260 born in brooklyn new york we moved from brooklyn to hialeah florida when i was six i come back for my

00:02:05.860 first day of school and my dad left so my mom raised my brother and i and we you know lived off food stamps

00:02:13.160 my mom got involved in drugs at a very young age she died at a young age of 36 from a brain hemorrhage

00:02:19.320 so i grew up in the gangs you know if you don't like your house you go out you find another home

00:02:24.120 you feel safe in so all the things they tell you not to do i did some of them but i was blessed enough

00:02:29.580 to not get too far off the guided path and you know i became a corrections officer a police officer

00:02:35.680 first then i had 10 years active duty in the marine corps at six years in the reserves several

00:02:41.160 deployment tours during that time and i guess the same reason most people get into the self-defense

00:02:47.680 or security or police field is you know you want to help yourself to never feel the way you did when

00:02:53.920 you were younger and you realize that there's a lot of people out there that are in those same

00:02:57.360 situations that don't know where to go for help so i think that was a decision i made at a young age

00:03:03.000 that when it came time and you know experiences what you get five minutes after you have it i think you

00:03:08.800 can use a lot of life experiences to really be positive you know stories for others that are in

00:03:14.740 the same similar situations and and a lot of your work you know you do teach self-defense but a lot of

00:03:20.500 your work is consulting companies organizations on how to prevent conflict before it even happens

00:03:26.960 well you know i have over 30 plus years of training and experience as a corrections officer police officer

00:03:32.940 marine and right when i got out of the marine corps from active duty i didn't retire i got out of 10

00:03:38.960 years active duty as a staff sergeant i took over as director of training for several companies in the

00:03:44.800 non-lethal weapons industry and then that just grew into not only training police law enforcement

00:03:50.200 and military i was blessed to start a company co-found a company with one of my mentors gary klugowitz

00:03:55.820 and we started a company called vistalar and you know we cover the entire spectrum of human

00:04:00.400 conflict from that first word that's spoken which is where conflict is usually you know given birth

00:04:06.400 at all the way up to the weapons that you use to defend yourself so about five years ago when that

00:04:12.220 book first became an idea i got approached by a company to write a book they saw some videos i did

00:04:17.820 on youtube on surviving a home invasion talking about the aftermath and so i wanted to do some research

00:04:24.680 so i you know we looked at like 100 different home invasion situations and cases and most of them

00:04:33.100 the people that were in the house didn't survive those things you know you can always look at

00:04:38.040 statistics from the fbi uniform crime report or the national bureau of criminal statistics and

00:04:44.620 you know what's a robbery what's a burglary what's a home invasion

00:04:48.180 and you know i saw that home invasions took on three different you know platforms you're either

00:04:54.740 sleeping in your home get up in the middle of the night to get something to drink and you find out

00:04:58.200 that somebody's in your home and they don't want to leave and they take you hostage you have other

00:05:02.200 family members there that just gets you know nastier or you come home early from a vacation and find

00:05:08.160 out there's somebody already in your home or the worst one is you've had somebody case in your home

00:05:13.640 and other houses on the street and you've been blind on what to look for how to identify it could

00:05:19.300 it happen to me because you know most people in i've found in the united states they live in the

00:05:24.440 world that it won't happen to me you know one of my mentors coach bob lindsey said you can be an if

00:05:29.080 then thinker or a when then thinker well i'd rather be a when then thinker because if then thinkers don't

00:05:34.420 get a chance to think too far along down the pike so it's not a question of if it will happen to you

00:05:39.160 it's a question of when and do you want to be ready for it so all these situations with home

00:05:45.280 invasions took on a different a different direction the bottom line is if you prepare for it from the

00:05:51.780 very beginning all the way to the end then you'll be better prepared no matter how it happens but if

00:05:58.460 you live in the world that it won't happen to me some people think throwing a lock on their door

00:06:02.360 or you know turning the porch lights off in the daytime those are all little things you can do but

00:06:07.880 if someone's really casing your house you should have some strategies to identify it

00:06:12.000 so that's what we focused on after we interviewed all those people so it took a whole year to gather

00:06:17.100 the information and then when we wrote the book we wanted it to be 10 chapters specifically focused

00:06:22.580 on what to do before it happens what kind of visual deterrence physical deterrence what locks are

00:06:28.460 better than this deadbolts you know i was pretty lucky earlier in my career to host a show for

00:06:33.060 national geographic called the crash test human definitely not something you put in a resume but

00:06:37.840 we got to break through doors and i got to show where hinges and deadbolts and door frames and

00:06:43.400 how they interact with each other and that just added to the information that we can provide for

00:06:48.160 you know how do you prepare for someone who's breaking into your home where it's supposed to be

00:06:52.360 the last great safe place in america is your home well let's talk about that i want to go back to that

00:06:57.900 point about home invasions and burglaries how did how does the police differentiate between the two

00:07:03.760 or do they well some do and some don't you know the burglary is a person breaks into your home with

00:07:09.460 the intent to steal and they steal and they leave and then it could be robbery with assault if there's

00:07:16.280 people home and i view as anyone that comes into my home for whatever reason if it's not a wanted guest

00:07:24.520 then you know it's an invasion now whether you didn't intend to do that in your heart

00:07:30.120 the result is i'm experiencing that with me and my family here and if you have a family it's just as

00:07:36.520 if it's probably scarier than if you're by yourself you know you always hear or i always hear those

00:07:42.080 monday morning quarterbacks i'd shoot them but yet they keep their gun in a safe they don't have any

00:07:47.760 access to it or you know we can have this conversation for years where most people you 0.97

00:07:53.820 know have a firearm for the emotional security it provides like a teddy bear when you're a kid

00:07:59.540 rather than the physical protection it's supposed to serve you when your life depends on it the most

00:08:04.300 so i i experienced one you know i was 14 years old we were living in government housing

00:08:11.260 my brother was playing in the other room my mom unfortunately was doing drugs in the back room the 0.99

00:08:16.820 door bursts open two guys running the house with their faces covered with pistols in their hand

00:08:21.600 grab us by our hair drag us in down the hallway kick my mother in the face have his face down on the 1.00

00:08:27.940 floor point a gun to our head ask him where the money's at and they actually the knuckleheads 0.82

00:08:33.320 broke into the wrong home they should have broke into the apartment next to us they were looking

00:08:37.080 for drugs and a money of stash that was supposed to be at this location when you're 14 you don't do

00:08:43.600 nothing but put your nose in the rug and you know cry and pray softly and loudly and you know wet

00:08:49.400 yourself so you know that's not a plan to have for everybody luckily they um started yelling at each

00:08:56.400 other they said this was the wrong house they ran out the door and left my mother couldn't pick up the

00:09:02.200 phone and call the cops because she had drugs in the house so we picked up the pieces and you know i

00:09:08.980 don't think i slept well until i left that apartment building when i was you know 17 so i think people

00:09:16.560 want to know what to do to keep themselves safe but there's a lot of people that are afraid to know

00:09:21.640 and i think that if you take the necessary steps and precautions you first of all keep yourself

00:09:27.400 emotionally safe because i sleep very well in my home you know my wife and i have a little joke that

00:09:32.160 if she wakes up and says can you get me some water i don't wake up but if she says hey i heard a noise

00:09:37.980 i'm awake before she is so i have a peace of mind that i'm not worried about these things could they

00:09:44.820 happen yes but if they are you're prepared for them i think when we wrote the book it was to give

00:09:49.420 people a plan and i don't think there is a a separation between what determines whether it's

00:09:54.900 a home invasion or a burglary the fact is if there's unwanted people in your home you don't want

00:09:58.920 them there are there some types of homes or neighborhoods that are more likely to get broken

00:10:03.080 into than others i don't think there's a certain neighborhood or a certain house i think all

00:10:08.460 houses have a certain level of vulnerability and if you can identify what that is and do some things

00:10:14.520 with landscaping and lights and locks and signs and create a visual deterrent you there's a there's a

00:10:21.480 bad guy equation and it's called you know if you raise their effort and lower the reward you

00:10:26.960 discourage the crime but if you lower their effort and increase the reward you encourage the crime

00:10:32.360 so i think if you look at that equation look at your own home right now there's some general things

00:10:37.240 you could probably do to take you off that i want to break into that house list if that makes sense

00:10:44.220 that makes and we'll get into some of these these things these deterrents you talk about in the book a

00:10:48.240 few of them but before do i want to do some more little analysis kind of give us an idea of of home

00:10:52.880 invasions what they look like in your research like when do home invasions usually occur are they

00:10:58.220 usually at night during the day what have you found well the typical home invasion is usually

00:11:03.460 done at night when there's less people in the front of the neighborhood to watch the person come up

00:11:07.340 to the home whether it's they're driving a car or they're popping the hood in front of your home

00:11:12.540 and they're usually done in teams two or more i didn't see any research when it was done by just

00:11:19.400 one person usually there was one that created a distraction at the front door if you let them in

00:11:25.700 the home that's great then they can't another person came in the back of the home you know very

00:11:29.800 few in the movies like where they're going to kick the front door open when the whole family's watching

00:11:33.480 tv or eating in the kitchen people that commit crimes don't want to get caught so in their mind

00:11:38.080 they're going to do this thing where there's the least amount of witnesses that are in the area to

00:11:41.300 watch it to take place all right that makes sense um all right so let's talk about what criminals are

00:11:46.800 looking for so you talk about that that equation they're looking for something that's it's an easy

00:11:51.000 target where they won't get caught and so one thing you recommend when you're sort of when a person's

00:11:56.160 beginning their own assessment of their their home and family security is that basically case your

00:12:01.320 house like a criminal and and look for weaknesses in your house so let's put on our criminal cap here

00:12:09.300 like what are we looking for what are you looking for in a house for vulnerabilities and weaknesses

00:12:13.740 well i think the first thing is you start with the outside of your home and you identify blind spots

00:12:19.500 and shadows the way to do this is have a friend or spouse stand at the front door in the doorframe

00:12:25.080 looking out of the house and you stand behind certain trees and bushes and i guess figures that you

00:12:31.220 have in your in your yard and ask the person can they see you and when you start finding places that

00:12:36.780 people can see you but you can't see them you identify blind spots if you walk around the whole

00:12:41.680 perimeter of your home if you're living in a home you know i do the perimeter walk twice a month when

00:12:47.240 we first moved into the neighborhood in the backyard there was a tree not in our backyard but in another

00:12:53.400 yard but if you stood behind that tree you could see right into our our shower there was also cigarette

00:12:59.600 buds some pizza crust some beer cans that were fresh that you could tell somebody is standing there

00:13:08.320 watching something so to first walk around your property and see if you can identify any of these

00:13:13.420 blind spots and shadows if there's bushes trim them and thin them try to keep the bushes away from the

00:13:19.840 home as possible thin them out put the lights behind them you want to create a place that if someone

00:13:26.140 is on your yard it would be seen by the neighbors not only the people in the house because that is a

00:13:31.740 visual deterrent signs are visual deterrents when you do the perimeter on the outside of the home

00:13:38.100 you want a person to see that it's protected by a security company or a dog before they decide to come on

00:13:43.980 the property you know if you're riding a bike in the neighborhood and you're looking at three houses

00:13:49.520 and you see one house doesn't have anything one house has a sign on the front yard that says you know

00:13:55.380 secured by adt and another one has a sign on the yard saying beware of dog which house would you want

00:14:02.340 to look at a little bit more closely probably the one that doesn't have anything so there is a certain

00:14:07.800 value for a visual deterrent once you get the visual deterrence in place then look at what's in your

00:14:13.840 house and what kind of shadows are your lights creating you know most people think of a square

00:14:18.520 and at the corner of each square they put two lights that branch out but they don't realize that

00:14:24.300 they're creating blind spots where someone can walk in from the street all the way up to your house

00:14:28.500 and not be seen at night so you want to crisscross your lights you want to possibly have some lights

00:14:34.000 shining on the corners of the house not away from the corners of the house so light positioning plays

00:14:39.860 an important role so you want signs you want lights you want to trim the bushes you want to have a

00:14:44.820 clean yard and you know and don't do something silly like put beware of dog and don't have a dog

00:14:50.060 dish or even a chain on the tree because people you know bad guys have a certain level of intelligence

00:14:55.340 and you want to create a visual deterrent that it's going to take some effort when you make the

00:15:00.720 decision to go into that home to step on the property first when you're also walking around

00:15:05.900 your home you want to open up the back doors i open up the back doors and take my thumb and run

00:15:10.840 it along the strike plate to see if there's any cuts or wedges in it from a screwdriver if there are any

00:15:16.520 marks you know you can cover it with clear nail polish and then go back and check and see if

00:15:21.640 there's any more tool marks on it most of the time people will try to break into your house without

00:15:25.800 getting caught before they decide to burst in the house check the screens you know latches and locks

00:15:31.620 do you have drapes you know it's kind of like you spent a lot of money buying some really cool things

00:15:37.560 leave it on the back seat of your car when it'd be safe from the trunk so it couldn't be seen

00:15:41.680 so you want drapes or blinds on your windows so if someone was standing outside they couldn't see

00:15:46.900 what you had in the home you want to reduce their curiosity you want to take away any mental images

00:15:53.360 of temptation that hey i want that or i don't know what that is i want to learn more about it so you

00:15:59.700 want to really control what a person sees when they look at your home you know during the daytime i want

00:16:04.980 them to see a clean house i want them to see you know signs little stickers on the window and i want

00:16:12.440 to have my windows closed so they can't see what's on the other side we know now in today's society a

00:16:19.200 lot more people are staying home so our burglary is happening we're probably not happening as many

00:16:24.280 times now as they were you know before this same time last year but nonetheless people get restless

00:16:29.320 you know whenever people lose food water shelter clothing or an ear to listen to they go out and

00:16:35.680 take it from somewhere else so that first thing you want to do is create that visual deterrent

00:16:39.980 and then as you get closer to the house you're looking for any signs of forced entry or breakage

00:16:44.800 into the home screens latch locks footprints around the beds near the windows you know um there's some

00:16:52.520 things you can do by sprinkling a little baking soda or talcum powder on the ledge you know you'll even

00:16:58.480 see if birds are standing on there there's just little things you can do to create a visual

00:17:03.140 deterrent that raise that effort and lower that reward on the outside of the home and signs and

00:17:09.740 posters and lights are the best options to have well let's talk about home security and security

00:17:16.260 security systems particular and you said there's there's a role for that but you to say the statistic

00:17:20.980 like a lot of homes today like very few of them or very few for homes have home security systems in

00:17:25.700 place security systems are designed to give you a particular level of comfort within your budget

00:17:33.480 most people never think about going out and getting a a security alarm until their house is broken into

00:17:39.540 or their neighbor's house is broken into that's why you'll notice as soon as you get your house

00:17:44.080 broken into you'll be called by all kinds of security companies because once that hits a a public

00:17:48.960 record in the neighborhood that's how they get their leads from a lot of places so you know for me

00:17:56.840 myself i look at security as layers and the more layers you have of security starting off with visual

00:18:03.000 then possibly auditorial then physical those give you layers of deterrence security physical security

00:18:13.020 starts with signs and then i would have something that gives me an alert or detection that someone's

00:18:18.600 breached a door or a window whether you're away i get an alert on my phone if i'm home i hear the

00:18:24.920 alert you know from my phone near the bed but i have a security system and it just gives me a certain level

00:18:30.920 of of safety and i sleep a little bit better at night because it's something else listening for me and

00:18:36.860 watching for me while i'm sleeping that's how i would look at security systems what are your thoughts

00:18:41.520 about security cameras like the ring doorbell oh they're great yeah anything that gives you a visual

00:18:47.060 identifier of who was on your property is priceless because you know cameras record the event

00:18:55.340 to give the clues to the police to go out and catch the person that looks like the person who broke into

00:19:00.980 your home without the visual i i have you know video surveillance and i'm not bashful with letting

00:19:07.840 people know by signs on the property that we have you know video surveillance on the premise right so

00:19:13.200 again you're just it's another layer of layer deterrence and even if even if it doesn't deter

00:19:17.280 them it allows you to get evidence to prosecute if you need to do that yeah because anything that

00:19:22.920 you're going to have for a security system is only going to add to your case it's just going to help

00:19:27.440 provide more evidence that they were there whether it's a full facial image or a partial especially if

00:19:33.460 they can match prints you're just doing whatever you can as a homeowner to provide additional

00:19:38.900 evidence to the police we're going to take a quick break for your words from our sponsors

00:19:42.680 and now back to the show all right so let's talk about let's kind of do recap what we've talked

00:19:49.080 about so far so your main priority to prevent home invasions just make your house a harder target and

00:19:54.460 that's basically the sounds like the main thing is okay you can do these visual things where you say okay

00:19:59.160 we've got security we've got dog trespassers will be arrested that can be a deterrent but another layer

00:20:04.640 is making it hard for the criminal to hide right you want to make you want basically the criminal to

00:20:11.320 be seen at all times so you can do that by adding lights at night around your house trimming your

00:20:17.020 landscape so that there really isn't a good place to hide and then also being aware of lights inside

00:20:22.480 your home as well another thing you talk about too in the book is besides these these preventative

00:20:28.120 measures these things you do make your house less of a target it also requires you to be

00:20:32.040 situationally aware of the people around in your neighborhood you can't just sort of turn your

00:20:36.720 you know you can't just focus inward you also have to keep your eyes focused outward and see who

00:20:41.720 is walking around in your neighborhood and being familiar with the people in your neighborhood as well

00:20:45.620 yes if you're a homeowner i encourage you to knock on the door of your neighbors and introduce

00:20:50.580 yourself and at least see who they are and what they look like during times of extreme emergencies you

00:20:56.480 might need their assistance to call for you or come to your aid so i introduced myself to the

00:21:01.380 neighbors on the right and left side of me behind my house and right across the street and over the

00:21:06.380 many years of me being here the neighbors across the street had to run into my home because somebody

00:21:10.200 broke into theirs and the elderly lady who lived off to the left of me had a burglar in her home that i

00:21:16.420 was able to see lights moving on inside the house and i was able to go in and take her out safely and call

00:21:21.380 the police so i think you want to you want to know who's in your neighborhood and it starts by just

00:21:27.560 taking brain pictures i run in the mornings and now with the heat i run at night but when you walk out

00:21:34.420 the front door you know don't just walk with the front door on your phone to your car in your car

00:21:40.320 to work step out on the front steps and look and see what cars are parked in your in your neighborhood

00:21:45.960 any bodies in those cars we had a situation where i went running one morning and as i walked out of

00:21:53.080 the front of the house and i did some stretching i looked off to the right and they were just building

00:21:56.480 up some homes there was a car parked in the back and as i looked at the car i realized that there was a

00:22:03.760 body slumped over and the guy went into diabetic shock but where he was parked drew alert for me because

00:22:12.100 i don't want anybody i have a family to protect and i don't want anybody sitting in the car

00:22:16.680 case in the neighborhood or just waiting for someone to leave and then come in my home when

00:22:21.180 i have my family there so you really do want to keep your head up keep your head up and your eyes

00:22:25.800 open your ears open to who's walking dogs riding bikes doing the power walks because people who are

00:22:32.200 going to case your area are going to blend in with the neighborhood first and if you can just be

00:22:37.620 friendly and wave and smile and say hello and good morning and get to know who's in your

00:22:41.520 neighborhood you could probably deter something from happening into your home another thing you

00:22:47.260 talk about that people aren't usually people usually don't think about when it comes to home security is

00:22:51.760 being aware of what are you putting outside of your house so like your garbage and that's something

00:22:56.220 that criminals use to figure out if you're a target or not it starts with the mail you know don't let

00:23:00.440 your mailbox be overflowed with mail and then as you do your property walks we told you about cigarette

00:23:05.960 buds but your trash i tie my trash off in a certain way and trash goes out at a certain day during the 0.96

00:23:12.440 week but it doesn't hurt that if you throw the trash throw garbage in there on monday that if you're 0.98

00:23:17.240 around your trash can on tuesday i just open up the lid to see if anyone's went through my trash

00:23:21.300 i always put it tie and down so someone has to grab it and lift it up and turn it right side up

00:23:27.760 so creating work it's just easy i throw the garbage in the garbage can but i throw it a certain way so

00:23:36.020 i could go back and look and see if anyone had been in my garbage and one thing that i started doing a

00:23:41.120 while back ago is uh if i'm throwing like documents out like bank statements whatever i shred it first

00:23:47.680 it's sort of this kind of my info security absolutely anything that you can do to kind of wipe the

00:23:55.140 identity of who's living in the home you know you asked me is there a certain time of day that people

00:24:00.200 um people get burglarized or have home invasions well most of your crime rates go up after the

00:24:07.000 holidays because everybody throws all their garbage out with their tvs and their ipads and their laptop

00:24:12.200 boxes in the front yard you know those things you want to cut up and you want to maybe wait a couple

00:24:17.320 days to throw them out throw them out you know maybe half one week and the other half the other week

00:24:22.040 the reason why people go through garbage is look for receipts to see if there's any high value items

00:24:26.900 that you might have purchased and there's a lot of information that now people can shop from their

00:24:32.480 own home people put so much stuff on social media i'm sure you've heard this story before uh but it's

00:24:39.240 going to happen to somebody again i had a friend that goes to vegas he won thirty thousand dollars in

00:24:44.640 vegas took pictures of the thirty thousand dollars uh the next day his house was broken into and guess

00:24:50.320 what was taken what was thirty thousand dollars thirty thousand dollars in the same envelope that

00:24:56.180 he showed it on facebook you know um you really do have to watch what you put on social media because

00:25:02.140 that as people flash through profiles and they see something flashy it'll draw attention to it

00:25:09.260 you know um so you want to manage what you're putting on social media just as much as what you're

00:25:14.380 throwing outside we live in a society now that if you buy a new car you go out and take all these

00:25:19.440 pictures in front of it and show it to all your friends but also your non-friends are seeing it too

00:25:25.320 right i guess we just don't think about it when we get through the excitement of

00:25:29.580 bought a brand new diamond ring for your wife and you take a picture of it in your home

00:25:34.420 and you forgot you took the picture in front of your house which had the address

00:25:38.740 okay yeah people just aren't thinking about celebrations and you know i'm happy i laugh i live i

00:25:46.280 celebrate with my friends you just try not to let anybody outside that close friend network see

00:25:50.980 what you're doing yeah and related to that um you know just being mindful of what you post on social

00:25:56.220 media like another tip i've heard is like don't post while you're on vacation because you're basically

00:26:01.620 just saying hey i'm away from my house and you can rob me yes yes and um you know every one of your

00:26:10.820 friends has had somebody sneak in through another friend into their network by liking them they get

00:26:19.100 to see things about you and learn things about you that you probably don't want anybody else to know

00:26:24.200 people post when they're sick when they're in the hospital when they're on vacation when they're

00:26:28.740 traveling out of town how long they're going to be out of the country and you know those are great

00:26:34.200 for your friends to know but not everybody on social media is your friend yeah exactly all right so

00:26:39.420 that's another like thing to think about being mindful what you're posting on social media as a

00:26:43.280 preventative measure all right so we've talked about some things we can deter and hopefully

00:26:47.300 reduce the risk of being a target for a home invasion but we also have to have a plan for if that

00:26:54.400 home invasion still happens so i know the plan is going to be different for every house for every

00:26:58.680 family because every house every family is different but like roughly speaking like what does a

00:27:02.560 plan for a home invasion look like you know a couple of years ago we um started looking at

00:27:08.840 everybody's program for active shooter because that's what you almost have to look at for a home

00:27:13.440 invasion as an active shooter situation a person enters your residence with a weapon with the intent to

00:27:19.380 kill find you locate you keep you as a hostage and we believe that you should follow a certain

00:27:27.700 model so the first thing is we want you to have a plan of an escape you should have an escape route

00:27:33.780 for every room in your home and this escape route needs to be within the reality of the world that

00:27:40.160 you live in which means if you are 250 pounds and your escape route is a two by four window that's five

00:27:49.480 feet above the air ground that you can't get to that's probably not a logical escape route that your

00:27:56.040 escape routes need to be practiced and every escape route has to get the answers to three basic

00:28:01.160 questions can i get out of the room that i'm in how do i get out of the room that i'm in and where do

00:28:07.160 i go once i'm out of the room that i'm in so you have to have an assembly point with the kids it's easy

00:28:12.880 to play hide and seek you just um i would get the kids scattered throughout the house i'd sit them down

00:28:18.840 and i'd say listen there might come a time that you have to leave the house because uh bad people came in

00:28:23.780 the house and you're going to have to listen to your mom or i if we were to say it's time to go

00:28:28.980 i want you to know what that means that the youngest grabs the next one the youngest and you're going

00:28:34.740 to get out of the house if you're in the bedroom this is how you get out of the window if you're in

00:28:38.560 the living room this is how you get out of the back door and you never want to have an escape route

00:28:43.100 as the way you came into a room so it should always be an another way out now that's just a rule of

00:28:50.560 thumb let's face it if you're in a bedroom you have the bedroom door but you may have some windows

00:28:55.660 and you're going to have to teach the kids to open up the windows we wouldn't recommend you break the

00:29:01.400 windows because not only does it cause more alarm to where you are it also creates other dangers

00:29:06.860 trying to climb out of a window with broken shards of glass but you should have escape routes and this

00:29:12.300 is where knowing your neighbors play an important role one of the persons i talked to when i was

00:29:17.040 writing the book is that they had a home invasion and two of the teenagers ran out the back of the

00:29:22.980 door one went left one went right the one that went left jumped into a um family that had a dog

00:29:29.420 and got bit up pretty bad and the ones that went right ended up being safe so you'd want to know where

00:29:36.240 to go when you got out of your home for me when we get out of our house we go to a big tree that's

00:29:41.720 located in the corner of the yard so we can still see who's coming in and out of the house so all the

00:29:47.900 family members when you escape are going to go to one place to get accountability in the perfect world

00:29:53.940 in the reality they're all going to go to the wind and you have to trust them that they're going to go

00:29:57.700 to a neighbor's house they know how to call the cops they know what to say um that should be all part

00:30:04.120 of that escape route is knowing how to get out of that room if you can't escape and you have to pick

00:30:10.180 a place to hide you have to kind of ask yourself this general question so every place to hide has a

00:30:17.160 criteria um can you see danger coming can you escape from danger and can you defend from that position

00:30:24.240 if you can't answer yes to those three questions and you only really pick the place you're going to

00:30:28.760 die you didn't pick the place you're going to go to survive so you have to be able to escape from

00:30:32.960 it see danger coming and defend from that position if you can't find a safe place to go that fits

00:30:39.700 that criteria you're probably safer to create the illusion that you're not in the room um what i

00:30:46.200 mean by that is take a single level home three bedrooms and opposite sides of the house uh if a

00:30:52.660 person comes into your home they're trying to get get you there's two or three people with them

00:30:57.180 they're trying to find all the family members as quick as possible they're going to run into rooms

00:31:01.700 very quickly they're going to look into common places where people could be if they don't see them in

00:31:06.880 the room look in the closets they're going to look behind the door they're going to look under the

00:31:11.440 bed they're going to look in the laundry basket so if you wanted to create the illusion that you

00:31:15.820 were gone you would maybe open the window break that window and then hide in a place that is not

00:31:20.940 one of those three or four places that we mentioned so as they come into the room they look and they see

00:31:25.200 the window broken they'll probably look at the window and you've created the illusion that you left

00:31:29.920 the room that is probably a little bit safer than just hiding in the closet or underneath the bed

00:31:34.220 so we first want you to escape if you can't escape then you're going to have to pick your engagement

00:31:42.900 points and this is pretty scary for others you know um just because i have a firearm i've been in

00:31:49.680 combat before i i teach people about firearms how to survive real world threats it doesn't mean i want

00:31:55.740 to have them uh you want to try to avoid them so if you don't have weapons you're going to have to

00:32:03.740 pick weapons of opportunity that you have in your home if you're going to pick to defend because you

00:32:08.580 can't escape you can't go to a safe place then your only other option is to barricade and defend

00:32:15.460 so it's escape barricade and defend is the philosophy and when you pick this place to go in

00:32:20.680 your house and if you have no weapons weapons have a criteria if i'm going to pick a weapon to defend

00:32:26.100 myself the first question i want to ask is does this weapon give me what distance from the threat

00:32:31.640 does this weapon allow me the opportunity to protect myself so if i have a knife i got to get

00:32:37.080 closer if i have a stick i can be father but if i have an aerosol can with a with a lighter i can get

00:32:44.220 a little bit farther so what is the distance from the threat number two how much effort do i have to

00:32:49.960 use to put into using this weapon you know we've all seen the the movies the horror movies where there's

00:32:55.620 noise outside the man goes in the home stands at the front door he's got slippers in his hand

00:33:00.560 you know what are you really going to do with a pair of slippers um but also you have to pick a

00:33:05.940 weapon that's not going to take all your energy and effort to use it so if i had my choice between

00:33:11.240 a bat which does give me greater distance or something sharp which slashing and puncturing

00:33:17.020 takes less effort i would more likely probably pick the um the object that's sharp rather than the bat

00:33:24.660 so what distance do i have and then what kind of effort do i have to put into it and then the

00:33:31.280 third question to ask is what are you really trying to do you're trying to blind them cripple them 0.66

00:33:35.280 blungeon them knock them out make them unconscious or are you going to have to take a life because the

00:33:41.000 opposite of saving a life sometimes is taking one and are you ready to do that are you emotionally 0.60

00:33:46.520 prepared for that are you mentally conditioned for that can you physically see yourself going through

00:33:51.360 that you know i can't tell you how many times i asked this question around the country when we

00:33:55.900 teach our active shooter program i'd say how many of you if there was a kid on the floor whether

00:34:00.540 you know him or not there's a person standing in front of you and you're both on the floor that you

00:34:05.960 would throw yourself over that child to keep them safe and let that person shoot you versus them

00:34:11.240 i raise my hand because i'm included too but i always ask them what if you could create a location

00:34:17.560 that you engage the shooter at the door in a small narrow hallway in the stairwell if you can pick

00:34:24.500 the engagement point now you went from a hundred percent surely dying to maybe you now you have a

00:34:30.600 50 50 cent 50 50 chance of survival so if you can't escape and you can't barricade get into a location

00:34:39.280 you can see danger defend from danger escape from danger and you're going to pick your defense points

00:34:44.360 you're going to have to engage the threat and you're going to have to pick weapons that are

00:34:48.420 going to allow you to engage safely so small narrow hallways are going to be a better place to engage

00:34:54.280 them don't let them come in the room get them at the door so you're going to have to go through your

00:34:58.200 home identify these safe places to go and then also identify your engagement points and you pick the

00:35:05.520 term of engaging on your terms are you truly going to put a plan together to keep yourself safe

00:35:13.100 or you're just gonna hope for the best and hope is great but i'd rather have some training behind

00:35:20.440 my hope than just blind faith well in regards to firearms you said earlier that a lot of people buy

00:35:25.640 a firearm because it makes them it's like a security blanket makes them feel safe but you said if you

00:35:30.400 don't train the firearm can actually become a liability become even more dangerous so i mean how do you if you

00:35:36.800 decide to have a firearm for home security how do you recommend folks train so they're actually prepared

00:35:43.380 for home invasion well you know there's a lot of good people out there that do firearm safety

00:35:47.860 and i think first you have to make the emotional commitment with yourself and your family so you know

00:35:54.020 being a marine i've always had weapons in my home but i've never had an accidental discharge my kids

00:35:58.340 didn't play cops and robbers and point guns at everybody there's a certain level of responsibility that

00:36:03.000 they have to be taught at a young age to respect the firearm and respect life so you have to make

00:36:08.320 that commitment as a family if you're going to bring the gun in the home first have the emotional

00:36:12.260 commitment and understanding that you're going to have to learn the things to keep you safe

00:36:16.600 and then when i made that decision you know i looked at different ballistics and we settled with the

00:36:24.980 nine millimeter for a variety of reasons penetration ballistics recoil the amount of rounds you can get in a

00:36:31.660 magazine but more importantly you know there's a lot of different technology out now and so you know

00:36:36.940 i use frangible ammo in my home so if you get into a gunfight in the living room the gun the bullet

00:36:41.720 doesn't travel three bedrooms down you have to teach the kids to get very low in the home you have to do

00:36:48.920 some practice and training that if you know my wife's in the kitchen with the firearm and we're all 1.00

00:36:53.000 getting out of the house how do we move towards her location and get as low as we can so anything

00:36:58.160 that she has to engage is going to be above her waist and we're all going to be moving towards 0.60

00:37:03.520 her below the waist so there is some training and planning and the emotional commitment and then

00:37:08.980 you have to go through the firearm safety training nothing replaces trigger time you know there's air

00:37:14.300 soft there's a whole bunch of safe ways of doing training in the home but you know i see people that

00:37:20.800 say they carry firearms but yet when i go over and visit them it's locked up in their bedroom doesn't

00:37:26.500 really do them no good if they're taking a nap in the living room and something happens so if you once

00:37:31.540 you make the commitment to have a weapon in the home now you're going to have to make the commitment

00:37:35.960 and training to where you're going to place the weapon and if i'm going to have a weapon in the home

00:37:41.360 it's going to be in a lock box it's going to be close by it's going to be easily accessible

00:37:45.120 wife's going to know that the password kids are going to know the password my kids are going to know 1.00

00:37:50.640 how to safely handle a weapon in case i'm involved in a physical altercation and i tell them to go

00:37:56.180 get the gun you want to create a plan this can't just be i have a gun in my home so my home is safe

00:38:01.780 you make the emotional commitment you do the preparation of safety and training you do the

00:38:06.980 first day training for handling gunshots because you know if you're in a gunfight someone's going

00:38:11.300 to get shot you want to be able to render aid to yourself at least and you have to go to the range

00:38:16.000 you know and i think if you're going to the range and you're engaging in threats

00:38:19.720 8 to 18 feet is probably good for home defense anything over 18 feet probably no need to really

00:38:27.220 engage it unless you have to and in a gunfight in your home you're not hunting the threat you're

00:38:33.040 letting the threat come to you so by knowing the engagement points and knowing where drywall you can

00:38:38.520 shoot from and doors of a hollow core they solid those are all knowing the lay of the land is going

00:38:44.820 to give you the best opportunities for survival if you do end up using a firearm in your home for

00:38:49.740 protection i i remember i talked to one firearms instructor because you know he's big on you know

00:38:54.680 you have to train the way you are preparing for like the way reality is going to be and so one thing

00:38:59.780 he did like like once like every now and then like a week he tell his wife i want you to set alarm

00:39:04.520 randomly during the night like i don't know i don't know what night it's going to be i don't know

00:39:09.280 what what time it's going to be and i'm gonna he basically practiced dry fire like getting getting used to

00:39:14.440 like getting woken up in the middle of the night and like getting to your firearm and i thought about

00:39:18.800 that i was like yeah if that happened to me i don't know how i would do like at the first time

00:39:22.580 someone broke into my house and i had to like find a fire i don't know if i'd do very well if i didn't

00:39:27.160 practice that no you do have to practice because you know when you're scared a variety of impulses take

00:39:33.940 over and if you're not programming your mind on what impulses you need to filter it just delays your

00:39:40.160 response and you really want to respond not react in these situations so you are going to have to

00:39:45.320 train because when you're scared you're going to freeze and that's the worst thing you can do when

00:39:50.520 you're preparing to protect your own life is to freeze all right so we've talked about deterring

00:39:56.020 criminals we talked about what to do in the events you're going to basically do sort of like a plan

00:40:00.500 for active shooter situations have a plan for escaping have a plan for hiding and have a plan for

00:40:07.160 engaging the the the criminal fighting back if you have to if you're going to do firearms make sure

00:40:12.720 you get training make sure you practice one thing i thought was interesting in your book is you talk

00:40:17.340 about what what happens after home invasion because i feel like a lot of self-defense books blogs whatever

00:40:23.020 they never talk about after after the event but you have a whole section on that why do you think

00:40:29.360 that was necessary to talk about well you know um my home invasion happened when i was 14

00:40:35.520 and there are certain things that i that happened to me during the day that i still can go back to

00:40:40.900 that feeling and the emotional scars of of whether it's ptsd whether it's emotional stress whether it's

00:40:48.680 you know abuse whatever the emotional trauma that you have felt over your in your life you're going to

00:40:56.660 always have it unless you address it and i can't think of the most scariest thing is a person to have

00:41:03.800 their home invaded i mean you know most people will move from their location within six months of

00:41:10.140 having their house broken into if they live in apartments they just don't want to be they can't sleep

00:41:14.060 in that house anymore someone's been in their home been on their bed moved their sheets ate their food

00:41:20.100 they feel violated so i wanted to make sure that people knew that you know you have to emotionally

00:41:26.600 protect yourself just as much as you have to do physically that means you need to get to small groups

00:41:32.220 family counseling find a pastor that will sit and listen most of them do a great job with that

00:41:38.440 there's other peer groups that you can get involved in but to just chalk this up that it's no big deal

00:41:44.720 that's that's just crazy you'll you'll never move past it it'll affect relationships

00:41:52.560 your trust factor goes way low because everyone you think you talk to you think is lying to you

00:41:57.840 it'll affect your your relationships with your family with your kids with your jobs it'll change

00:42:03.960 your personality so i wanted to make sure that if anyone was surviving something like that i had

00:42:10.320 nobody to talk to except the kids in the street we just talked about how we find these people and beat

00:42:14.920 them up if we ever did but you know i'm i'm 57 now and i still think about it when i was 14 so i wanted

00:42:24.400 people to know they have to go get help they have to talk to people that will listen there's professional

00:42:28.520 help out there you know unfortunately i don't think we do as good a job as we should for big organizations

00:42:35.660 that experience active shooter these people are going to be traumatized and if you're a survivor

00:42:40.200 it just means you physically kept yourself alive during that moment now you have a whole bunch of

00:42:45.620 years of horror you're going to have to address and focus on i wanted to make sure people knew that

00:42:50.640 they had to identify with it first with themselves come to the acceptance that there was nothing they

00:42:55.580 could have done to maybe prevent it now that it's over they survived it they should be giving

00:43:00.200 themselves thumbs up and now saying i can do this i can survive this i will survive but if they don't

00:43:07.540 believe it in their heart it can just tear them up and ruin them i've seen good people physically

00:43:15.180 survive bad situations and have been emotionally scarred for their entire life and besides the

00:43:21.200 emotional trauma of of the the attack another people people forget about is after the home invasion

00:43:27.920 happens the state's going to prosecute this person and you're going to be involved in that so it might

00:43:33.180 be months or years that you're still dealing with this in some sort of way yeah there was um one case

00:43:39.800 we interviewed that a guy was found and he was found with six driver's license in his possession

00:43:45.040 in the car that he had him and another person broke into six other homes it didn't go to court until like

00:43:51.300 five years later you know criminally they were adjudicated pretty quickly but then the civil cases

00:43:56.400 came in and the lawsuits came in and you know civil lawsuits can last 7 10 15 years so even though you

00:44:04.100 might have survived it on july 1st you're going to be having dreams and recollections of what's

00:44:11.260 happening and having to tell your story over and over again for the next three to five years so you

00:44:16.780 have to take that time to really come to terms with it that you know you do the best you could and

00:44:21.060 you should pat yourself on the back but people choose not to pat themselves on the back and they

00:44:26.700 act like it don't matter and they get worse well dave this has been a great conversation where can

00:44:31.460 people go to learn more about the book and your the rest of your work you do

00:44:34.100 well you know we the company i founded for the non-escalation de-escalation is called

00:44:38.720 vistalar that's w-w-w-v-i-s-t-e-l-a-r vistalar.com we have several books on managing conflict we cover

00:44:47.900 everything from words to weapons in our training you know the last five years we probably expanded

00:44:52.520 our training outside of law enforcement military police to education health care the hospitality

00:44:58.620 industry customer service we're seeing more and more verbal altercations escalate into physical

00:45:04.660 violence so we're trying to do our best to help people manage themselves emotionally represent

00:45:09.540 themselves physically and keep themselves safe mentally and emotionally so you know they can get

00:45:14.780 a hold of me at the website or you can just write me at dyoung at this solar.com and i'll be glad to

00:45:20.060 answer any questions that they have fantastic well dave young thanks for your time it's been a pleasure

00:45:24.100 hey thanks a lot for having me brent my guest today was dave young he's the author of the book

00:45:28.860 how to defend your family and home it's available on amazon.com you can find out more information

00:45:32.740 about his work at his company's website vistalar.com that's v-i-s-t-e-l-a-r.com also check out our

00:45:39.020 show notes at aom.is home invasion where you find links to resources where you delve deeper into this

00:45:43.420 topic well that wraps up another edition of the aom podcast check out our website at art of manliness.com

00:45:55.040 where you can find our podcast archives well as thousands of articles rewritten over the years

00:45:58.380 about pretty much anything you could think of and if you'd like to enjoy ad free episodes of the aom

00:46:02.300 podcast you can do so on stitcher premium head over to stitcher premium.com sign up use code

00:46:06.620 manliness at checkout for a free month trial once you're signed up download the stitcher app on android

00:46:10.640 or ios and you can start enjoying ad free episodes of the aom podcast and if you haven't done so

00:46:14.780 already i'd appreciate it if you take one minute to give us review an apple podcast or stitcher it

00:46:18.380 helps out a lot if you've done that already thank you please consider sharing the show with a friend

00:46:21.960 or family member who you think will get something out of it as always thank you for the continued

00:46:25.080 support until next time it's brett mckay reminding you not only listen to aom podcast but put what

00:46:29.120 you've heard into action

00:46:40.640 you

The Art of Manliness - July 29, 2020

#631： How to Prevent and Survive a Home Invasion

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript