The Art of Manliness - October 04, 2023


A Cure for Existential Boredom


Episode Stats

Length

49 minutes

Words per Minute

186.02509

Word Count

9,152

Sentence Count

585

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary

Kevin Hood-Gary is a professor of education specializing in the philosophy of education. He argues that we need to add an element of leisure, as the ancient Greeks understood it, into our lives and how it requires embracing solitude, study, epiphanies, and love.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Brett McKay here, and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness podcast.
00:00:11.660 It's one thing to be bored by having to wait in line or sit through a dry lecture.
00:00:15.480 It's another thing to be bored with life itself.
00:00:18.480 What can you do about this kind of existential boredom?
00:00:21.300 My guest will share a remedy with us today on the show.
00:00:24.220 His name is Kevin Hood-Gary, and he's a professor of education specializing in the philosophy
00:00:28.840 of education.
00:00:30.000 We begin our conversation with the difference between situational and existential boredom
00:00:33.640 and how the latter arises when we toggle solely between work and amusement.
00:00:38.420 Kevin argues that we need to add an element of leisure, as the ancients understood it,
00:00:42.080 into our lives.
00:00:43.040 We talk about what that looks like and how it requires embracing solitude, study, epiphanies,
00:00:48.200 and love.
00:00:49.360 After the show's over, check out our show notes at awim.is slash existentialboredom.
00:01:00.000 All right, Kevin Gary, welcome to the show.
00:01:09.460 Thank you.
00:01:09.800 Great to be here.
00:01:10.700 So you recently published a book called Why Boredom Matters, Education, Leisure, and the
00:01:16.080 Quest for a Meaningful Life.
00:01:18.200 What led you to write a book about boredom and how to deal with it?
00:01:21.540 So I actually wrote a paper, oh, about 10 years ago on boredom and contemplation, and
00:01:28.120 a colleague of mine in an ed psychology class was actually teaching the paper and shared
00:01:33.580 that it was one of the most engaging readings.
00:01:36.120 The students really, really were just taken up with it.
00:01:39.460 And so he said, you should develop this further.
00:01:41.560 And so that was a nice kind of nudge.
00:01:43.200 And, you know, it's a topic that's been of interest to me for a long time for a lot of
00:01:47.960 reasons.
00:01:48.360 One, because it's just one of these enduring problems that human beings have had to contend
00:01:53.460 with.
00:01:54.280 And it's a problem that's linked to so many other problems.
00:01:57.420 When we're bored, we consume too much, eat too much, drink too much, idle our time.
00:02:02.720 And so that's fascinating to me.
00:02:05.120 Whenever I would share with friends or family I'm writing a book on boredom, the response
00:02:09.760 I almost universally would receive was, wow, that sounds really interesting.
00:02:13.200 Which I always found amusing given that boredom is defined as a state of disinterest.
00:02:19.260 And I think the interest is that it's really an interest in human flourishing.
00:02:23.320 And if we're living lives and we're finding ourselves bored, we're not flourishing.
00:02:27.220 And so the kind of research and work that I do really is about what does it mean to flourish
00:02:31.740 as a human being?
00:02:33.220 And this is just a central topic.
00:02:35.180 And what I also enjoy about it is it draws on so many other disciplines.
00:02:38.680 It's a complex problem.
00:02:40.180 There's been a lot of psychology in the last 20 years, but it needs more than just psychologists.
00:02:45.040 So theologians, philosophers, great writers, Cormac McCarthy's The Passenger has this beautiful
00:02:50.560 quote on boredom, which kind of echoes Pascal's, you know, the root of all evil is our inability
00:02:55.480 to sit still in a room.
00:02:56.720 So it just brings a lot of stuff together and really ultimately brings up questions about
00:03:01.520 meaning and purpose, which I'm really fascinated with.
00:03:05.000 Well, you talk about there's two types of boredom that we encounter in life.
00:03:08.140 The first one is situational boredom.
00:03:10.560 How do you describe situational boredom?
00:03:13.080 So actually Heidegger wrote some lectures and is credited with making this distinction between
00:03:18.260 situational and existential.
00:03:20.060 And situational, he describes being at a train station, just being stuck in a situation that
00:03:24.380 he wants to get out of, but he's stuck.
00:03:26.060 And this is, you know, before smartphones.
00:03:27.960 And when we think about situational boredom, we usually think about it objectively.
00:03:31.600 You know, I'm bored by this lecture or I'm bored by this book I'm reading, but it's also
00:03:36.400 subjective.
00:03:37.340 We're making an assessment about the situation.
00:03:40.180 So what might be boring to one person could be engaging to another.
00:03:43.700 So it's a perplexing mood state.
00:03:45.220 And we can think about sort of certain conditions that many of us would find boring, but there
00:03:49.860 are people who are, this great writer, David Fenmore described himself as unboreable, just
00:03:54.960 an ability to sit with his thoughts and be engaged.
00:03:58.220 And so it's not just objective.
00:04:00.660 It's both objective and subjective with situational.
00:04:03.800 So there's two conditions for situational boredom.
00:04:06.060 Like you're just in a situation where there's understimulation, right?
00:04:08.520 Like waiting at the train station, waiting at the post office.
00:04:11.180 But then the second condition is a feeling that you've lost your agency.
00:04:16.060 So that's like the subjective part.
00:04:17.200 Like there's just nothing you could do.
00:04:18.580 Like your kids, whenever you hear your kids complain about being bored, this is the example
00:04:22.820 of the loss of agency where your kid says, I'm bored.
00:04:25.940 There's nothing to do.
00:04:27.180 And then the parent usually responds, what are you talking about?
00:04:29.640 You can go outside, you can do it, but they feel like there's nothing to do.
00:04:33.740 Yeah.
00:04:34.280 Yeah.
00:04:34.500 You're stuck.
00:04:35.400 And yeah, that's a great example.
00:04:36.740 I used to do technology fast weekends with my kids where I would say, all right, no screens.
00:04:41.840 And, you know, invariably I'm bored.
00:04:43.980 There's nothing to do.
00:04:44.840 They just could not see any way their agency could remedy the situation.
00:04:49.420 And so we experience situational boredom on a daily basis, but there's things we can do
00:04:53.020 to alleviate situational boredom.
00:04:55.000 You can get out your smartphone, you can read, or you could talk to somebody, you could play
00:04:59.760 a game with your kid while you're waiting for food at the restaurant.
00:05:02.840 But the second type of boredom that you mentioned is more pernicious and difficult to deal with,
00:05:08.080 and that's existential boredom.
00:05:09.440 So what is existential boredom?
00:05:12.220 So to be existentially bored, there's a great quote from Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina.
00:05:16.680 He describes existential boredom.
00:05:18.840 He's talking about someone who finally gets what they want and they realize they don't really
00:05:22.600 want it.
00:05:23.540 It's a desire for desires.
00:05:26.000 A simple example I think of is, you know, sometimes looking at Netflix, trying to find something
00:05:30.540 to watch and you've got 5,000 titles, and there's just nothing of interest, which is
00:05:34.920 kind of amazing given all the options to be engaged and interested.
00:05:38.880 And so to be existentially bored is to suffer a more profound kind of boredom where the situational
00:05:44.600 solutions, you know, going from one boring situation to an interesting situation really
00:05:49.140 start to exhaust themselves.
00:05:51.200 And it really is calling forth then, I need to rethink who I am, what I'm doing, what is
00:05:56.900 my existence even about?
00:05:58.440 So it is a much more profound kind of boredom.
00:06:01.800 The distinction, though, between existential boredom and clinical depression, which it's
00:06:06.440 a close cousin of, but I think the difference is when we're existentially bored, there's
00:06:10.280 still a hope that, you know, we desire for desires.
00:06:14.140 We desire something to make life meaningful.
00:06:16.020 There's still a hope that we're going to find it.
00:06:17.700 So we're still searching, if you will.
00:06:20.640 Yeah.
00:06:20.700 You gave this great quote from, it was Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, kind of describing what
00:06:28.200 existential boredom can feel like.
00:06:29.980 I'll read it out.
00:06:30.780 It says, I saw the days of the year stretching ahead like a series of bright white boxes and
00:06:35.520 separating one box from another was sleep like a black shade.
00:06:38.940 Only for me, the long perspective of shades that set off one box from the next day had suddenly
00:06:43.960 snapped up and I could see day after day after day glaring ahead of me like a white, broad,
00:06:49.680 infinitely desolate avenue.
00:06:51.780 Just the, yeah, you just feel like, oh man, it's just monotonous.
00:06:54.300 There's just no point to going on.
00:06:56.100 Why am I even doing this?
00:06:57.200 Yeah, that is such a powerful and troubling quote.
00:07:02.240 And, you know, to the extent that we fully identify with that quote, I think we're probably
00:07:06.920 moving into clinical depression.
00:07:08.760 But to the extent that we identify with the quote and have, you know, some days that are
00:07:12.960 like that, but thankfully are able to have resilience to move out of that, then I think
00:07:16.640 we're more in the existentially bored state.
00:07:19.640 And this existential boredom, this is the thing that humans have been grappling with for millennia.
00:07:23.820 I mean, you, you highlight how theologians and religious thinkers have been trying to
00:07:29.460 grapple with this, right?
00:07:30.720 You think monks, Catholic monks, they called it a cedia.
00:07:33.860 What was existential boredom like for them?
00:07:35.920 Like what was a cedia?
00:07:38.320 Yeah.
00:07:38.900 So I guess what I found, I don't know, unsatisfying in a lot of the contemporary writing on boredom
00:07:44.240 is it's descriptive and I was wanting more normative guidance on how do we contend with this
00:07:50.300 mood state?
00:07:50.820 And so when you trace the lineage of this phenomena, you know, the monks in the fourth
00:07:55.520 century of Agrius being one of the great writers talking about a cedia, he's talking about a
00:08:00.260 thought that he calls or describes as one of the eight deadly thoughts that this is, this
00:08:05.380 is morally hazardous territory when we're falling into a state of a cedia, which gets described
00:08:10.900 as the noonday devil, which, you know, it's called the noonday devil because it happens
00:08:16.300 upon us in broad daylight without our even realizing it.
00:08:19.360 We can just stumble upon it.
00:08:20.640 And so you go from this, this eight deadly thoughts, which actually then become the seven
00:08:24.500 deadly sins with a cedia being folded in to the sin of sloth.
00:08:29.300 And I think that was a loss.
00:08:30.320 I think there's a theoretical richness to a cedia that is really worth retrieving.
00:08:34.500 But it goes from that to, oh, in the Renaissance, you know, the French word melancholy, which
00:08:40.140 was an attempt to understand boredom, not as a spiritual malaise connected to our status
00:08:45.600 vis-a-vis God, but really as a, as a medical or physiological phenomena.
00:08:51.360 Melancholy literally translates as black bile.
00:08:54.400 And so the science of that is obviously proven not to bear out, but there still is an attempt
00:09:00.780 to try to just completely medicalize it.
00:09:03.680 And then when you get to the word boredom in the, it's the 18th century, boredom is kind
00:09:08.740 of a hybrid term.
00:09:10.260 It's, it's, it's trying to resist becoming either too scientifically reductive or too connected
00:09:16.440 to a spiritual metaphysics.
00:09:18.860 And so I think it's really worthwhile to have all of these in conversation with each other
00:09:24.360 because Evagrius was actually not just diagnosing, but prescribing directives for how to contend
00:09:30.600 with this troubling mood state.
00:09:32.360 Oh yeah, this existential boredom.
00:09:33.760 I get the feeling I've, I've experienced that.
00:09:35.980 And I think that's one of the problems of modern life.
00:09:38.300 You hear a lot of people talking about burnout, right?
00:09:41.180 I'm burnt out.
00:09:42.140 And the way they describe burnout, it's the same way that monks described a cedia back in
00:09:47.560 the fourth century.
00:09:48.240 And there's another idea besides burnout, there's rust out, right?
00:09:52.120 It's where you don't feel like you've exhausted yourself, but you feel like you are understimulated
00:09:56.300 and you're actually not calling upon all of your faculties to engage with life.
00:10:00.340 And so you just feel blah all the time.
00:10:03.800 And that's a growing complaint amongst people.
00:10:06.160 Like, what do you think it is about modern life that makes us prone to be existentially
00:10:11.100 bored?
00:10:12.340 Yeah, I haven't heard rust out.
00:10:14.420 I've heard burnout and I've heard burn in where I'm thinking about it in the
00:10:18.120 context of teachers who don't burn out, leave the profession, but burn in.
00:10:22.580 They sort of settle and they stagnate.
00:10:25.280 And they, you know, we've all had experience with teachers that are just not engaged.
00:10:30.240 They probably shouldn't be teaching, but, you know, they need a job.
00:10:33.580 So what is it about modern life that leads to burnout?
00:10:37.060 You know, Aristotle talks about these two kind of spheres.
00:10:40.020 There's work where we're on, we're engaged, we're trying to be professional and we're responsible.
00:10:44.120 And we need a break, you know, we need, we need, we need to relax.
00:10:47.320 And that leads to then this other sphere of life, which is amusement, you know, which
00:10:51.360 is simply not working and just needing a reprieve from work.
00:10:56.800 And I think that cycle plays off of each other in ways that are just not helpful because there's
00:11:03.120 a whole nother way of being in the world, which I get into in the book where you're contending
00:11:07.080 with boredom and you seek amusement to avoid boredom, but you miss what I described as these
00:11:13.520 restorative forms of leisure.
00:11:15.520 This is what Avagrius and some of the monks were talking about.
00:11:17.900 There are ways of being in the world that aren't work, that aren't amusement, which can
00:11:21.940 often be an escapist distraction, but rather leisure.
00:11:25.880 And so I think not having leisure makes us prime to be, you know, to be burning out or
00:11:31.260 rusting out as you, as you put it.
00:11:33.040 Okay.
00:11:33.120 We'll, we'll talk more about leisure because this was, I love this, this idea of reviving
00:11:37.180 this ancient idea of leisure.
00:11:38.520 But before we do, let's talk about boredom a little bit more because you go in deep into
00:11:42.500 the philosopher, one of my favorite philosophers, Soren Kierkegaard, where he explores, he really
00:11:48.180 grappled with the source of our existential boredom.
00:11:51.440 So what did Kierkegaard believe was the source of our existential boredom?
00:11:57.140 So Heidegger has a huge debt to Kierkegaard.
00:12:00.020 You know, Kierkegaard's authorship, I wrote my dissertation on Kierkegaard.
00:12:03.120 And he begins his first pseudonym, Poet A, is a person who's chronically bored with life.
00:12:09.760 And actually it was one of the most popular books that he wrote that sold the most.
00:12:13.800 And it was part of, you know, either or.
00:12:15.440 And so the second part of it was the judge.
00:12:17.180 And the judge is kind of like a parent telling an aimless bored child, you just need to grow
00:12:21.720 up.
00:12:22.240 And the poet's like, no, I'm not convinced.
00:12:24.440 I'm going to figure out ways to overcome boredom.
00:12:27.740 And he has all these different boredom avoidance strategies, which, you know, are really kind
00:12:33.140 of intriguing, insightful.
00:12:35.740 But it's a later pseudonym, Anticlimicus, who reveals that the poet is actually very confused
00:12:41.680 about how to contend with boredom wisely.
00:12:44.700 And so, you know, in looking at boredom, Kierkegaard doesn't just see, you know, something that's
00:12:48.980 situational, he sees forms of despair that are taking hold.
00:12:54.100 Kierkegaard has this really dense definition of the self, which I'm not going to read it
00:12:58.200 exactly.
00:12:58.740 But summarizing it, he says that the self is a combination of possibility and necessity.
00:13:05.100 And in defining necessity, he means just the givens or determinants that keep us where we
00:13:11.840 are.
00:13:12.520 I'm thinking about this, actually.
00:13:13.820 I got to visit a classroom a few years ago.
00:13:16.260 It was an eighth grade classroom, and the students were tasked with writing or copying
00:13:20.500 a PowerPoint word for word for the entire period.
00:13:23.920 And I remember turning to one of the students and I asked, you know, is this a typical day?
00:13:27.120 And the student said, we do this every day.
00:13:30.240 And you could just see or feel the despair of necessity.
00:13:33.980 The students, they weren't disruptive.
00:13:36.320 They were not creating any chaos, which actually would have been creating another possibility.
00:13:40.680 They were just resigned to this is all we can do.
00:13:43.640 And there was one student, though, and this is where I connected to possibility, who was
00:13:48.560 doing these wonderful doodles on her notebook, finding an artistic possibility in the midst
00:13:53.020 of this situation that was, I think, very much characterized by despair of resignation.
00:13:57.860 And so to be given to the despair of necessity is to sort of not see a possibility for things
00:14:04.620 to be otherwise.
00:14:05.300 You're just literally stuck.
00:14:06.560 And that's the kind of boredom where the response is, just resign yourself to it.
00:14:11.820 And, you know, I think that's resonant with Henry David Thoreau's, you know, people lead
00:14:16.060 lives of quiet desperation.
00:14:18.360 And I think he's talking about the despair of necessity.
00:14:20.460 We just do not see or cannot imagine other possibilities for how to live our lives.
00:14:26.400 Accepting the despair of necessity reminded me of Camus in The Myth of Sisyphus.
00:14:29.780 Right.
00:14:30.440 So Sisyphus is pushing up that boulder for eternity and then it rolls back down and Camus
00:14:36.800 said, well, that's just absurd.
00:14:37.980 But, you know, Sisyphus accepted the boredom or they accepted that as absurd.
00:14:43.220 He just kind of derived some sort of weird pleasure from it.
00:14:46.120 Yeah.
00:14:47.140 Yeah.
00:14:47.580 And then the flip side.
00:14:48.380 So you're stuck in necessity is the despair of possibility, which he defines simply as to
00:14:52.960 be without necessity.
00:14:53.820 And what he means by that is we tend to get caught up in a world of fantasy or possibilities.
00:15:00.700 When we think about, you know, trolling through social media, we're basically looking at the
00:15:05.240 lives of others or watching, you know, Netflix.
00:15:08.080 We're just dwelling in the world of the possibilities for other people or other imagined people rather
00:15:13.680 than what is possible for me, given the necessities I'm contending with.
00:15:18.120 And it's in negotiating those two together where agency can emerge that is steering clear
00:15:24.200 of these two poles of despair.
00:15:26.720 The difference for Kierkegaard is he doesn't think that we ever can do this on our own,
00:15:31.280 that we need grace.
00:15:32.620 We need something outside of us to help us navigate these two tendencies, these two poles.
00:15:38.020 But I map these poles onto the two responses to boredom, one being resignation and the despair
00:15:43.920 of possibility is when we encounter a boring situation, we just, we get out of it as fast
00:15:48.340 as possible.
00:15:49.120 We, uh, we run from it.
00:15:51.220 Okay.
00:15:51.660 Yeah.
00:15:51.880 I think we've all experienced the despair of necessity.
00:15:54.140 So if you're in a job that's monotonous, the despair of necessity, but then the despair
00:15:59.820 of possibility, right.
00:16:00.820 It's when you're getting on social media and you're flipping through Instagram thinking,
00:16:05.460 wow, that would be great to have this life, but you don't do anything to about it.
00:16:11.340 So it just stays in possibility and that can also lead to a weird type of boredom.
00:16:18.900 Yeah.
00:16:19.840 Well, it's, I think the despair of possibility is simply boredom avoidance.
00:16:23.740 Yeah.
00:16:24.240 So when scrolling through Facebook reels, I'm just sort of, it's a very pacifying activity
00:16:29.600 where I'm kind of lulled and I'm, I'm steering clear of, of, of boredom, but there's also
00:16:35.580 a certain despair quality to, at least I experienced that when I'm doing too much of that.
00:16:39.000 Right.
00:16:39.160 It's like, I, I, I could be that, but I can't or whatever.
00:16:42.860 Right.
00:16:43.300 Right.
00:16:43.900 Yeah.
00:16:44.200 Or even, even not, not even that I'm thinking of like, I was watching, uh, I was on Facebook
00:16:48.840 and you know, these dash cam accident videos.
00:16:51.460 Oh yeah.
00:16:52.120 It's just like, why am I so captivated by this?
00:16:55.640 And you can watch 20 of them in a row.
00:16:58.140 Yeah.
00:16:58.720 Yeah.
00:16:59.120 Okay.
00:16:59.320 So you've got the, uh, the spare of possibilities where you're just living vicariously through
00:17:04.780 looking at the possibilities other people are living, or it could even just be possibilities
00:17:09.420 in your imagination, but then you just don't take any action on them.
00:17:12.960 But then, you know what I, I think what you were talking about with the cars, looking at
00:17:17.580 cash dash cam cars, Augustine talked about this and he called it a curiosity toss, right?
00:17:22.840 Like humans have always had this tendency to try to relieve boredom by looking at any
00:17:29.360 kind of novelty.
00:17:30.480 Like, even if it was like gruesome, like in his confessions, he talked about back then
00:17:35.460 when he was, when he was living people looking at mangled corpses because it was just something
00:17:40.140 to do, right?
00:17:40.980 It was some kind of stimulation and we do the same thing, but now, you know, we just look
00:17:44.840 at dash cam videos.
00:17:46.800 Yep.
00:17:47.280 And that's essentially the news cycle, I think in many ways.
00:17:50.280 So, yeah.
00:17:51.240 So let's talk about how we can relieve this existential boredom.
00:17:54.460 So existential boredom, it's like a mood and it's closely related to depression, but you're
00:17:58.820 not depressed because you, when you're existentially bored, you still hold out hope that there is
00:18:03.560 possibility that you will feel meaning and be engaged with life.
00:18:08.920 So you mentioned Heidegger, he wrote a lot about boredom and he proposed a solution to existential
00:18:15.040 boredom.
00:18:15.720 What was his solution?
00:18:17.200 So he talks about, you know, many of us are living inauthentic lives and we're responding
00:18:25.600 to situational boredom and we're buying or getting the latest phone or we need to redo
00:18:31.540 our kitchen.
00:18:32.420 And so we're just sort of subsumed in the crowd and making decisions that are kind of on
00:18:38.300 the surface level, just avoiding situational boredom.
00:18:41.860 But there's a deeper existential boredom about meaning and purpose.
00:18:46.500 And it really is, you know, he said we're living inauthentic lives.
00:18:49.860 He characterizes it by chatter and curiosity in the sense that you mentioned, sort of a superficial
00:18:56.220 chatter that's just aimless and bantering about sports, politics in a constant rotation.
00:19:03.200 And a curiosity that is voyeuristic, that's just sort of aimlessly captivated by whatever's
00:19:08.600 happening.
00:19:09.500 And this is where he's drawing from Kierkegaard.
00:19:12.000 There really isn't an agency, a strong agency to think about, all right, who am I and how
00:19:16.840 should I live?
00:19:18.220 What possibilities are viable for me, given the necessities that I'm contending with, so
00:19:23.800 that we actually are choosing and making the choices ourselves rather than just sort of
00:19:28.040 going along with the crowd or with the flow.
00:19:30.680 And so that was the kind of authenticity that Heidegger was calling us to.
00:19:35.280 I'm critical of that version, though.
00:19:38.180 I think there's some problems with it.
00:19:40.000 Yeah.
00:19:40.060 What are those problems?
00:19:40.760 Why don't you think Heidegger's idea of authenticity is adequate to remedy existential
00:19:44.980 boredom?
00:19:46.560 And so to be fair, I think the way Heidegger's idea has been picked up, I think Heidegger's
00:19:52.000 is far subtler than this.
00:19:53.340 And so I didn't want to go to war with Heidegger in my book.
00:19:55.360 And so I kind of slightly dodged.
00:19:57.040 But Charles Taylor talks about the ideal of authenticity being a really compelling ideal, that I need to
00:20:03.560 live my life.
00:20:05.460 And I think what it does is it places on us the burden of originality, that I need to
00:20:11.000 be distinct from other people.
00:20:13.760 And it also then, I think, keeps us from thinking about the wisdom of a tradition, whether it be a
00:20:20.720 religious tradition, or perhaps I'm the son of a carpenter, and I've got to be original, so I can't
00:20:26.400 just be a carpenter.
00:20:27.800 And you actually could be a carpenter.
00:20:29.320 Your grandfather was a carpenter, and there's something to that work or the religious tradition
00:20:33.740 that is part of your family.
00:20:35.420 And so I think with the burden of originality, it puts so much on the self for how to decide
00:20:41.720 how to live and what to live.
00:20:44.220 And I don't think that's the way, you know, we certainly aren't brought up that way.
00:20:47.360 We're brought up in a variety of traditions, and then as we grow, we're learning to critically
00:20:51.620 appraise those traditions, but also critically adopt those traditions.
00:20:55.240 And so this is where I think Heidegger would agree.
00:20:57.580 There's an authentic way of embracing tradition.
00:21:01.120 I wrote a paper called The Originality of Clichés.
00:21:04.020 And what I was getting at was that, you know, we think about a wisdom tradition, a Confucius
00:21:10.020 wisdom tradition, or the Proverbs.
00:21:11.740 There's sort of tried and true ways of living that I think are viable, compelling options.
00:21:19.000 And I think the ideal of authenticity, at least the way it can be constructed, can keep
00:21:22.880 those as seeming like viable options because you're being inauthentic.
00:21:27.740 Yeah, I agree with you.
00:21:28.800 The way that authenticity is described today or the way it's put out there, it's being
00:21:33.340 original.
00:21:34.300 Yeah.
00:21:34.440 But it's funny, you know, you watch people on social media trying to be their authentic
00:21:40.960 selves, but it ends up just looking like everyone else in the end, and it's superficial.
00:21:47.200 Yeah.
00:21:47.360 And I think if you try to take this authenticity idea to escape existential boredom, it kind
00:21:53.200 of, you create like a double bind for yourself.
00:21:54.600 So not only are you having to grapple with existential boredom, which can be, it's like a mood that
00:21:59.100 just makes you feel listless and just, you don't want to do anything, but then you have
00:22:04.720 to overcome the burden of creating an authentic self, which can be such a big project that
00:22:10.400 that can also be just debilitating and make you feel listless, like you don't even want
00:22:14.780 to try.
00:22:15.740 Yeah.
00:22:16.300 Yeah.
00:22:16.920 Yeah.
00:22:18.040 And to Heidegger's credit, I mean, just the phenomenology of boredom that he lays out,
00:22:21.940 he talks about situational boredom, but he talks about going to, he was going to some
00:22:26.480 cocktail parties and situationally it was very engaging, but then he has a moment when
00:22:30.880 he comes home later that night and he just, he just, it's almost like an epiphany.
00:22:36.000 He just realizes how boring it all was.
00:22:38.640 It's kind of like, if you read Salinger's Franny and Zoe, where she's at some gathering
00:22:42.880 in an Ivy league college and she's just bored by it.
00:22:45.260 And so I think there's actually something even prophetic about the boredom in those contexts
00:22:50.420 that is calling forth something, but it doesn't need to be, I need to create an original
00:22:56.460 self ex nihilo.
00:22:57.540 I, I, maybe I need to explore a tradition and get some guidance on how to live better.
00:23:02.820 We're going to take a quick break for your words from our sponsors.
00:23:08.980 And now back to the show.
00:23:11.060 Okay.
00:23:11.420 So if authenticity is not a great way to alleviate existential boredom, another way we relieve
00:23:17.860 existential boredom is through what we call in our modern world leisure.
00:23:22.000 But you argue that what we think of as leisure in the modern world is actually amusement.
00:23:27.720 And as you said, Aristotle talked about this, like what amusement is.
00:23:30.620 So what is amusement?
00:23:31.760 And then what can we learn about modern amusements from David Foster Wallace's essay about taking
00:23:38.560 a cruise?
00:23:39.820 Yeah.
00:23:40.440 I love that essay.
00:23:41.800 I actually did just recently go on a cruise and take issue a bit with David's characterization,
00:23:47.100 but my cruise was up the Alaskan passageway and the cruise that he was on, I think was
00:23:51.520 more like a carnival Caribbean cruise.
00:23:53.620 So very different experiences.
00:23:55.440 In that essay, he's really taking a close look at when we're pursuing amusement and a
00:24:00.660 cruise being kind of like a capstone amusement event where you've got everything, you've got
00:24:05.080 gambling, drinking, pools, screens, just everything all together over an extended period of time.
00:24:11.280 And he's kind of looking at himself and everyone around him, what is going on?
00:24:15.760 And the way he characterizes amusement is he really describes it as a state of relaxation
00:24:21.000 where we just do not have to do anything.
00:24:23.680 We don't have to make any decisions and we're totally pampered.
00:24:28.120 And he says, you know, when was the last time when you were totally pampered and didn't have to
00:24:31.640 make any decisions and all your needs were met?
00:24:33.300 And he said it was when you were in utero, you know?
00:24:35.560 And so the kind of the telos or the end of amusement is to be anesthetized, you know,
00:24:42.500 comfortable numbing.
00:24:44.560 And so he paints kind of an extreme picture, but I think there's something to that, that
00:24:48.420 in amusement, and I mentioned looking at dash cam, there's just a, I don't have to do anything.
00:24:54.300 It's just this passive checking out.
00:24:56.840 Sometimes it gets called vegging out, which, you know, it's striking that we call it vegging
00:25:01.200 out because when you think about someone as a vegetable, you know, their mental faculties
00:25:04.660 are just not operative.
00:25:06.740 And so leisure is not that.
00:25:08.900 And I found Wallace's account to be just a clear illustration of amusement.
00:25:14.260 And so in thinking about leisure, Aristotle says, no, there's something different than
00:25:17.620 amusement altogether.
00:25:19.660 Well, and it sounds like, I think Wallace made this point, is that pursuing amusement
00:25:23.800 to relieve existential boredom can actually increase our existential boredom even more.
00:25:29.640 Because as you said, you know, like the cruise is sort of the perfect example of amusement.
00:25:33.520 Everything's done for you.
00:25:35.800 But when that happens, you don't exercise your agency.
00:25:39.520 Right.
00:25:39.620 And so you just become this passive consumer and agency is what makes us feel alive.
00:25:44.360 It makes us feel engaged in the world.
00:25:46.040 But if you no longer have that, when you're being amused, you're just going to feel
00:25:49.840 existentially bored even more.
00:25:52.260 Yeah.
00:25:53.600 Yeah.
00:25:54.040 I think the paradox of alleviating situational boredom, we are exacerbating existential boredom.
00:26:00.480 Yeah.
00:26:01.480 And so, yeah, you can do all these different things like Heidegger talking about.
00:26:04.120 You can go to the dinners and the cocktail parties and you can have a great night, you
00:26:08.280 know, chit-chatting.
00:26:09.260 But then when you're done, you go to lay in bed at night and you're thinking, boy, I'm so
00:26:13.840 bored with life.
00:26:16.720 That's when the existential boredom sinks in.
00:26:19.220 Yeah.
00:26:19.240 Okay.
00:26:19.600 So authenticity, probably not going to help us relieve existential boredom.
00:26:24.580 Amusement, and there's nothing wrong with amusement.
00:26:27.060 Aristotle said amusement's fine, right?
00:26:28.840 It's a break from work.
00:26:30.180 It's okay to get on social media, you know, for 15 minutes, take a break from work.
00:26:34.900 It's okay to watch a football game, whatever, but it's not going to relieve existential boredom.
00:26:40.420 So he says leisure will.
00:26:42.860 So what is this ancient idea of leisure?
00:26:46.340 How is it different from amusement?
00:26:48.220 Yeah, so, I mean, you're right, Aristotle, and thank you for that point about amusement
00:26:53.780 is fine and a part of life.
00:26:56.680 And he describes amusement as a medicine, meaning that, you know, we should take it in prescribed
00:27:01.640 doses.
00:27:02.760 And the concern is that life is work and amusement, and that's it.
00:27:07.140 And so leisure and thinking about leisure and going back to the way we respond to boredom
00:27:12.380 is we avoid it or we resign ourselves to it.
00:27:15.300 But I argue that leisure is this middle way.
00:27:18.620 And also thinking with Aristotle, these mood states that come up, anger or fear, we can
00:27:23.840 overreact to them or underreact to them.
00:27:26.360 And in a similar way with boredom, we tend to, you know, avoid, avoid, avoid, or we just
00:27:30.960 resign ourselves to it.
00:27:32.960 Leisure is this middle way where we're engaging with agency.
00:27:36.400 And so it's a different way of being in the world.
00:27:40.080 And the simplest way to describe it is when we are having experiences that are characterized
00:27:45.880 by sustained attention.
00:27:47.620 The bored mind is easily distracted.
00:27:50.500 TSLA talked about we're distracted from distraction by distraction.
00:27:54.100 And so needing to push through the itch to be distracted.
00:27:57.940 So sustained attention and then appreciating the intrinsic value of something or an activity.
00:28:03.220 And it can be a whole number of things.
00:28:05.280 But what's key is our attention is sustained.
00:28:08.320 And so it's not the attention required of work where we're on and we're kind of, you
00:28:12.460 know, having to be responsible.
00:28:15.200 It's an in-between state, nor is it sort of the passive consumption of amusement.
00:28:20.760 Yeah.
00:28:21.540 And Aristotle said that the reason we work is so we can engage in leisure.
00:28:26.040 Like leisure is actually what we're here to do as humans, is engage in life in this leisurely
00:28:31.260 way.
00:28:31.600 How did other subsequent thinkers after Aristotle add to this idea of leisure?
00:28:39.340 Yeah.
00:28:39.540 So leisure is the purpose of work and amusement.
00:28:43.000 He holds it as the ultimate telos of a human being, like when we're engaging in leisure.
00:28:48.640 And in Aristotle, it's the contemplative life.
00:28:51.280 And there's a bit of a rarefied elitism in Aristotle where it seems like it's, you know,
00:28:56.120 professors who are philosophers or astronomers.
00:28:59.280 And I think there's some point to that.
00:29:02.960 I mean, basically saying is that when you are seeing the world and you're just in awe
00:29:08.680 and appreciating the intrinsic beauty of it.
00:29:11.000 But to be fair, that's not, you know, that's not unique to people who just study it.
00:29:17.220 G.K.
00:29:17.500 Chesterton has a wonderful quote that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
00:29:21.540 And so leisure, as it evolves post-Aristotle, especially in monastic context, they're looking
00:29:28.780 at more ordinary, mundane ways where we appreciate the intrinsic value of an activity.
00:29:35.260 And it could be doing astronomy.
00:29:36.600 It could be reading Plato.
00:29:38.120 But it could also be working in the garden where you're just present to it.
00:29:43.040 It's sustaining your attention and you're experiencing the intrinsic value of it.
00:29:47.200 And so Joseph Pieper talks about leisure as characterized by this receptive kind of attention,
00:29:52.680 not a grasping kind of attention, nor a passive kind of voyeuristic consumer kind of attention.
00:29:59.800 Yeah, I think people have experienced that leisure state of mind when they're on a walk
00:30:05.480 in the woods, for example.
00:30:07.320 You're just walking and you're enjoying just walking.
00:30:10.360 And then as you're hiking in the woods, you just kind of receive things.
00:30:14.700 Like you're not actually looking for things in particular, but you start noticing things.
00:30:18.860 Or if you get in that flow state, right?
00:30:21.180 If you're doing a painting or working with your hands in your garage or even just playing
00:30:28.080 a sport.
00:30:28.460 Sometimes you experience that when you're playing a sport.
00:30:30.560 You get in that flow state where you just kind of, you forget yourself.
00:30:34.480 Yeah.
00:30:34.720 But then in the process of forgetting yourself, you actually feel the most alive.
00:30:40.300 Yeah.
00:30:40.840 And I think that can happen.
00:30:42.400 Unfortunately, with sports and music, they have become so competitive, needing to be in
00:30:48.920 the right travel soccer league, that kids really do miss the intrinsic value there is in
00:30:54.500 playing the game of soccer or football or tennis or playing violin.
00:30:58.720 And so all of these are kind of ordinary spaces where we can have leisure, but they can be kind
00:31:05.860 of corrupted by other external forces.
00:31:08.160 Yeah.
00:31:08.260 You can instrumentalize any of these leisurely activities.
00:31:10.660 That happens a lot.
00:31:11.380 Like you see this with people who start a YouTube channel about one of their passions, right?
00:31:16.740 Survival or crafting.
00:31:18.800 And they're just doing it because they just enjoy it and they want to share it with other
00:31:21.420 people.
00:31:21.780 But then it starts getting a lot of views and they're starting to make money from sharing.
00:31:26.940 And then instead of you doing it for the sake of just doing it for itself, you start doing
00:31:32.060 this stuff to develop a following and create a business.
00:31:35.560 And you no longer have a hobby or pastime anymore.
00:31:39.020 You've got a business.
00:31:40.580 Yeah.
00:31:41.500 Yeah.
00:31:41.740 And so you're approaching it now as work rather than as leisure.
00:31:45.080 And so you're bringing a different kind of attention to it in some ways.
00:31:48.980 Yeah.
00:31:49.460 So you talk about some thinkers who add to this idea of leisure and what we can do to develop
00:31:54.000 this leisurely point of view.
00:31:55.260 One of them is Alistair McIntyre, and he introduced this idea of practices.
00:32:00.580 What are practices and how do they help us develop the virtue of leisure?
00:32:05.920 Yeah.
00:32:06.080 So McIntyre, certainly drawing on Aristotle, he makes the distinction between intrinsic
00:32:10.940 goods versus extrinsic goods.
00:32:12.880 And so the intrinsic goods of playing a sport are just working with other players, just the
00:32:20.600 thrill of making a good pass in basketball.
00:32:23.180 Whether you make money or get any kind of accolades is extrinsic to the actual game itself.
00:32:28.900 And I think it's a helpful distinction to think about intrinsic value and the intrinsic
00:32:33.240 good of things that we're doing.
00:32:35.780 McIntyre, though, is looking at complex practices.
00:32:38.680 He would consider chess a practice, the game of chess, or carpentry, basically complex social
00:32:44.900 activities that have evolved over time and have a certain degree of complexity.
00:32:49.100 I think there are other kinds of practices, though, that he wouldn't count in his list
00:32:53.680 of practices.
00:32:54.440 But it's the key distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic goods that I think is theoretically
00:32:58.820 very helpful.
00:33:00.140 When you talk about broadening the idea of practices to beyond these complex things, you talk about
00:33:05.220 focal practices.
00:33:06.720 Yeah.
00:33:07.040 And focal practices could be anything.
00:33:09.000 It could be building a fire.
00:33:11.360 It could be cooking a meal.
00:33:12.880 It could be working on a puzzle with your kid.
00:33:15.780 Those very...
00:33:16.840 They can seem very mundane, but they can become practices that can help you develop the leisurely
00:33:22.480 outlook on life.
00:33:24.440 Yeah.
00:33:24.720 And that's Albert Borgman, a wonderful philosopher, studied Heidegger, a philosopher on technology,
00:33:30.160 just actually just passed away just this year.
00:33:33.140 But yeah, the word focal comes from the word hearth in the home, where the hearth, the fireplace
00:33:38.460 was literally the focal point.
00:33:41.380 And it required a lot of practices, you know, the cutting wood, the tending the fire.
00:33:45.540 It drew people together.
00:33:47.520 But he does.
00:33:48.120 He talks about walking, cooking.
00:33:50.120 These are very mundane practices.
00:33:51.660 A friend of mine invited me to go birding a year or so ago for three hours.
00:33:56.200 And the paradox is, you know, I'm offering these as the way out of situational existential
00:34:02.040 boredom.
00:34:02.560 But to the bored mind, these look boring.
00:34:05.360 And so to understand the intrinsic goods of these practices, we actually have to experience
00:34:11.840 it from the inside out.
00:34:13.780 So as an outsider looking in, I have to confess, when I was asked to go birding, I just thought,
00:34:18.620 oh, geez, I don't know if I want to go look at birds for three hours.
00:34:20.740 And that really is a reflection of my boredom proclivity.
00:34:25.180 I mean, I can have a propensity to be easily bored and have needed these kinds of focal
00:34:31.640 practices that, again, you know, direct and hold our attention to one thing over a prolonged
00:34:36.400 period of time.
00:34:37.740 Right.
00:34:37.960 If you're a parent, you experience that with your kid when they're like, I'm bored.
00:34:40.680 And you're like, well, paint a picture.
00:34:43.020 You know, you tell them to engage in a focal practice.
00:34:45.840 Right.
00:34:46.140 And they're like, oh, that's boring.
00:34:48.100 Yeah.
00:34:48.780 And so what you have to end up doing is you have to just, you have to do it with them.
00:34:52.820 And you talk about this, like one of the things you have to do in order to develop this leisurely
00:34:56.460 outlook on life where you can see these mundane practices being meaningful is sometimes you
00:35:02.980 need to be an apprentice.
00:35:04.160 Like you need to have someone just show you, like you had your friend show you how birding
00:35:09.520 can be really enjoyable.
00:35:11.000 You might need to have a friend to show you, well, here's how cooking can be enjoyable.
00:35:15.720 Here's how building this chair in your workshop can be, even though it might seem boring.
00:35:20.680 It's actually, once you get into it, it's actually great.
00:35:23.520 Yeah.
00:35:24.540 Yeah.
00:35:24.960 And so you have to confer a certain degree of trust, which is what an apprentice does.
00:35:28.760 I trust that this person knows something and I'm just going to be receptive to going
00:35:33.540 through this practice and seeing what comes up.
00:35:36.780 I often find this, my son is in scouts and so I've been going on camping trips and camping
00:35:41.480 is a lot like that where it's a lot of work and you're kind of like, why are we doing this?
00:35:46.720 Why are we, you know, putting ourselves through this?
00:35:49.140 But to experience the intrinsic goods, you know, it's only by going through it and trusting
00:35:54.500 the process and the guidance of a, of a, of a master, if you will.
00:35:59.260 Yeah.
00:35:59.740 Okay.
00:36:00.060 So if you're having that existential boredom and you want to inject some more meaning in
00:36:03.440 your life, but those things that you, that are proposed that can give you meaning, those
00:36:08.740 simple things, you just have to trust.
00:36:10.640 I'm going to just try it.
00:36:11.900 I'm going to take a leap of faith, a kick a guardian leap of faith and say, I'm going to
00:36:14.920 give it a trot and, and see, and, and do it like with all your heart.
00:36:19.060 Like, don't just kind of do it half way.
00:36:20.900 There's sometimes you do that where you're kind of like, well, I'll try, but I'm really not
00:36:24.360 going to try.
00:36:24.940 Um, you really have to give yourself to it.
00:36:27.600 Well, I think about it, like in the context of, you know, coming home from work, it's
00:36:30.980 been a long day and I just want to relax.
00:36:34.020 I want to watch something and I want to have a drink.
00:36:37.040 And so amusement is just so immediate and readily available.
00:36:41.460 I mean, it's just, you just, you know, push a button and you're getting amused.
00:36:45.340 A focal practice walking when it's 25 degrees outside is not sitting in a chair, drinking
00:36:52.120 a beer, watching a show.
00:36:53.540 And so the startup costs for a focal practice are much higher.
00:36:57.980 And Borgman talks about, there's like a moral threshold.
00:37:00.240 Like it takes more work to get dressed, to go outside, to walk for 45 minutes, but the
00:37:06.920 restorative impact of a walk versus watching a show.
00:37:11.080 And to be clear, we can do some show watching, but I think what happens is again, it's work
00:37:15.440 and all amusement work, all amusement.
00:37:17.020 And so we miss the restorative, the restoration that can come through, I think these wonderful
00:37:22.800 forms of leisure, but they do require more at the outset, but the rewards are greater
00:37:28.880 than the rewards we get from amusement.
00:37:31.560 Okay.
00:37:32.180 So first thing, if you want to adapt that leisurely outlook, become an apprentice, trust
00:37:36.260 the process that maybe this thing can give you meaning.
00:37:39.440 You also have the role of solitude and study in a leisurely life.
00:37:42.700 What does that look like?
00:37:44.320 Yeah.
00:37:44.540 So I, you know, years ago studied to be a Catholic priest and the second year was a monastic
00:37:52.320 year.
00:37:53.180 And once a month we had to spend a day in solitude and I was 23 years old.
00:37:59.600 And that's a pretty unusual thing, I think, for a 23 year old to do.
00:38:03.240 And it just became apparent to me.
00:38:05.220 And I was reading writers like Thomas Merton and Henry Nowen, just how distractible I was
00:38:10.540 and just how manipulated I realized I was by just a culture that is constantly trying to,
00:38:16.860 I think our economies are invested in us being bored so that we're buying things and
00:38:21.080 things are wearing out.
00:38:23.520 And so it really was through that time apart in solitude that I began to not just read about
00:38:29.620 it, but just recognize it in myself.
00:38:32.640 And so going back to Heidegger, the chatter of modern life, I do think solitude is a valuable
00:38:38.340 resource and underutilized resource.
00:38:40.680 And by solitude, meaning that you are completely unconnected.
00:38:43.700 You know, you're not in solitude with your phone because you're always ready to be distracted.
00:38:49.200 So I think that's key.
00:38:51.240 But again, back to the apprentice thing, I do think in living into these forms of leisure,
00:38:55.980 we need community.
00:38:57.120 We need support.
00:38:58.060 I mean, to say that I'm going to start doing these leisurely things solo, ex nihilo, is
00:39:03.880 kind of like that version of authenticity that puts too great a burden on you.
00:39:08.440 And so I think we do need support.
00:39:10.320 And then the solitude can be a great resource.
00:39:13.720 The distinction between study and curiosity that Augustine makes is curiosity is the voyeuristic,
00:39:19.440 rubbernecking kind of mind, you know, where we're just fascinated with the tragedies of
00:39:24.980 others or just the latest dash cam crash or whatever it is, where we're just kind of
00:39:30.300 drawn into sort of this curiosity.
00:39:33.340 The study is where we're protecting our attention and staying with one thing, making sure that
00:39:39.440 we set up a situation with some, even some guardrails to help us.
00:39:44.660 A simple example is, you know, I talk with my students about study versus curiosity.
00:39:49.360 You know, if you want to have a really good conversation with someone, you don't want to
00:39:51.800 go to Buffalo Wild Wings and have 50 TV screens around you.
00:39:55.780 That's curiosity.
00:39:56.600 Study requires being present to one thing.
00:40:01.320 Right.
00:40:01.840 And yeah, you can bring this approach to anything you do, whether it's writing a letter, washing
00:40:06.460 the dishes, cooking.
00:40:07.980 I had to, um, I'm replacing the basketball hoop in our driveway.
00:40:12.700 And so I had to take out the old one that's been there for since before we bought the house.
00:40:17.640 So I had to chisel it out with a jackhammer because it's like, it's embedded in the driveway.
00:40:22.180 Wow.
00:40:23.160 And, you know, people say, oh, it's a boring thing, but I was very engaged.
00:40:26.660 It took several hours to do, but I was just constantly thinking like, well, how can I use
00:40:31.900 this jackhammer in a more, an efficient, effective way so I can get more chunks of concrete?
00:40:36.380 Like I was taking a studious approach to it and I, it looked like, uh, you know, just tedious
00:40:42.600 labor, but I actually enjoyed it.
00:40:44.000 It was, it was nice.
00:40:45.740 Hmm.
00:40:46.480 That's a great example.
00:40:47.580 Um, uh, on the cover of the book is a painting by Vermeer, the milkmaid.
00:40:52.680 And what captivated me by it is it's a person who is just engaged in a, in a very receptive,
00:40:59.240 single-minded way with one task.
00:41:01.280 I can be so double-minded or multi-minded and trying to optimize and do three things at
00:41:07.240 once.
00:41:07.540 And so there's a combination of work, work amusement, but leisure is this innate, you
00:41:13.580 know, really giving yourself space to attend to one thing carefully.
00:41:18.340 Yeah.
00:41:18.860 And then you're opening yourself up to, I like, I like this idea of leisure as being open,
00:41:24.140 right?
00:41:24.560 You're with work.
00:41:26.080 You always got this goal in mind.
00:41:27.280 Like I got to do this one thing with leisure.
00:41:30.240 The goal is there's no goal.
00:41:31.720 Like you're just open to whatever new possibilities are there for you.
00:41:36.140 It's, it's an active passiveness.
00:41:37.960 It's hard to describe, but I know what you're talking about.
00:41:39.860 You do a really good job describing in the book.
00:41:42.380 Yeah.
00:41:42.560 And that's peeper where he talks about that active, passive.
00:41:45.320 And so work is predominantly active.
00:41:47.320 Amusement is predominantly passive.
00:41:48.840 Leisure is active, passive.
00:41:50.220 Yeah.
00:41:50.420 Thanks for, thanks for bringing that back to me.
00:41:52.480 Um, and thanks for reading the book, Brett.
00:41:53.900 You just really dived into it.
00:41:55.460 I'm really grateful.
00:41:56.240 Well, it's a great book.
00:41:57.180 So, okay.
00:41:57.660 Be an apprentice, trust the process, solitude, take an, uh, a studious approach to these leisurely
00:42:04.320 activities, even the most mundane things.
00:42:06.360 And then you talk about this idea of remembering epiphanies to cultivate leisure in our lives.
00:42:11.060 What do you mean by that?
00:42:13.140 Well, I'm borrowing from James Joyce and, uh, in portrait of an artist as a young man,
00:42:18.840 you know, there's these moments where Stephen Daedalus falls in love with poetry, with literature,
00:42:24.860 and just sees the beauty in, in things.
00:42:28.300 And these are epiphanies.
00:42:29.440 And we can think about, you know, I have a student who's a math major and they have epiphanies where
00:42:34.780 they just really fall in love with the beauty of this language.
00:42:38.200 And so we can, over time, we can forget those.
00:42:42.240 And having an epiphany, I think what we're experiencing is the intrinsic beauty of something.
00:42:46.820 And so it's really kind of this quintessential moment of beholding leisure, where you're
00:42:53.080 just taken up with something.
00:42:55.880 And so we can think about distinctive moments when we get into some kind of work or hobby,
00:43:01.140 like what was it that, that drew you in?
00:43:03.100 And we can, you know, perhaps remember it was this moment, this moment of seeing.
00:43:07.000 And so remembering those, I think is a way to help kind of reawaken our love for something.
00:43:12.260 I'm thinking about it also in the context of teaching, where teaching can be work that drains
00:43:16.820 us and burns us out.
00:43:18.740 And teachers, they do need that time, that restorative time to remember their epiphanies.
00:43:23.380 So they bring that back into the classroom because they're trying to awaken those in students as
00:43:27.420 well.
00:43:28.560 And if they've forgotten them, then it just becomes bureaucratic and loses its magic.
00:43:34.760 No, I've experienced the importance of remembering epiphanies and wanting to be more leisurely.
00:43:39.460 I experienced this whenever we host a dinner party at our house or sometimes get together
00:43:45.320 because it's like that, there's that threshold.
00:43:49.120 It's a high threshold to get over.
00:43:50.540 It's like, oh my gosh, it's a lot of work.
00:43:51.800 I got to go get the food.
00:43:54.060 And then you have to clean up and you just think about it like, I don't want to do this.
00:43:57.280 But then you do it.
00:43:58.680 And then afterwards you feel, man, that was great.
00:44:01.100 I'm so glad we did that.
00:44:02.140 Had such a great time, got to connect.
00:44:03.880 It was awesome.
00:44:04.420 And so whenever I catch myself doing the, I don't want to have this party, I have to
00:44:09.680 remember, wait, no, wait, last time we did this, you had a great time.
00:44:13.040 Yeah.
00:44:13.480 Or you do that with your kids when your kids want to do something that's like, oh, it
00:44:18.660 just seems, I don't want to do that.
00:44:20.180 It's like, no, last time I did, I felt great afterwards.
00:44:22.700 And so it'll help you give you that push over that threshold.
00:44:27.700 Yeah, no, that's a great example.
00:44:29.120 And I just had a dinner party a week ago and just lived that.
00:44:32.240 Yeah, so we've talked about these different things.
00:44:34.860 You can develop a leisurely approach to life.
00:44:36.680 It's an active, passive approach.
00:44:38.840 Maybe you do it with somebody else to help you get through that threshold, be engaged
00:44:43.480 with it, remember the times you enjoyed doing that activity.
00:44:46.700 But at the end you say the ground for leisure is love.
00:44:51.300 What do you mean by that?
00:44:53.840 Well, there are two things.
00:44:54.980 One, I was thinking about when I was visiting my grandmother in her last days and going to
00:44:59.220 the nursing home and nursing homes are bleak spaces.
00:45:03.460 I find them kind of boring.
00:45:04.540 You know, there's a TV on in every room and there's just a tedious, I don't know, despair
00:45:09.580 quality to it.
00:45:10.740 And I just remember feeling that when I was going to visit my grandmother.
00:45:14.520 But that mood state just really didn't have, it didn't matter.
00:45:19.240 You know, I mean, I loved my grandmother and I wanted to be with her.
00:45:22.760 And yet I was contending with boredom and it was my love for her that kind of overrode
00:45:28.700 that.
00:45:29.420 So boredom is the state that we're going to have to contend with.
00:45:32.080 I do think love is a greater force for contending with that.
00:45:36.840 I was also thinking about it in the context of the movie Groundhog Day, where the protagonist
00:45:41.240 is profoundly bored.
00:45:42.640 You know, he's stuck in the same day and it's repeating.
00:45:44.660 Initially, he's quite amused.
00:45:46.260 He's able to divert himself with all kinds of amusement, but that runs its course.
00:45:50.040 And then he's existentially bored.
00:45:51.300 He then develops focal practices.
00:45:54.260 He enjoys reading poetry, he's creating music, but it's not until he begins to see the other
00:46:01.000 people in the town and actually have love for them that he really solves the riddle of
00:46:07.120 existential boredom.
00:46:08.240 And so that's what I was thinking with there towards the end.
00:46:11.700 It's not as fully developed as I would like, but that's something for the next project that
00:46:15.480 I'm thinking about working on.
00:46:17.480 Yeah, I think that's, you talk about Kierkegaard even said that life is repetition.
00:46:21.300 And the key is if you have this love for Kierkegaard to be like the love of God, like even that
00:46:26.340 repetition doesn't feel old and stale.
00:46:29.940 It can actually be, it enlivens you, makes you feel like it's meaningful.
00:46:34.920 And your example of visiting your grandmother in the nursing home, that reminds me, I know
00:46:39.840 someone whose father is in the nursing home.
00:46:41.900 And one thing he does is he'll go and visit him and they'll watch this baseball game from
00:46:47.280 like the nineties over and over again, because it's something that his dad remembered and
00:46:52.620 they did together that they enjoyed.
00:46:54.500 And the experience is like really meaningful for this person because he gets to spend time
00:46:59.100 with his dad who's got some dementia.
00:47:00.620 They're doing this thing over and over again, but because love is there, it feels leisurely.
00:47:06.940 Yeah, that's wonderful.
00:47:08.520 I think about it also in the context of, you know, I've been married now for 20 years and
00:47:12.720 just the simple repetitions, you know, in, in, in married life where you're, you know,
00:47:17.140 checking in the end of the day or in the morning.
00:47:19.580 And, you know, to my bored 20 year old self, it looks like, wow, marriage looks like a
00:47:24.800 boring state.
00:47:25.420 I'm like, no, actually this is part of the beautiful leisure and love of relationship
00:47:29.420 that's, you know, gone through time.
00:47:32.520 Well, Kevin, this has been a great conversation.
00:47:34.040 Where can people go to learn more about the book and your work?
00:47:37.620 Sure.
00:47:38.100 So the book is on Amazon also with Cambridge press and I do have a website.
00:47:42.920 I've been giving talks at some universities, which is kevinhoodgary.com.
00:47:47.580 And so, yeah, I've been going around giving some talks and doing some retreats and yeah,
00:47:52.900 it's striking a chord.
00:47:53.780 I mean, there's a lot of work on boredom, but pairing it with leisure, I think is, is,
00:47:58.120 is not a new idea, but I think it's an idea that needs to be out there more.
00:48:02.000 Fantastic.
00:48:02.260 Well, Kevin Gary, thanks for your time.
00:48:03.500 It's been a pleasure.
00:48:04.640 Thank you, Brett.
00:48:06.380 My guest here is Kevin Hood.
00:48:07.540 Gary, he's the author of the book, why boredom matters.
00:48:09.780 It's available on amazon.com.
00:48:11.520 Check out our show notes at aom.is slash existential boredom.
00:48:14.260 We find links to resources.
00:48:15.540 We delve deeper into this topic.
00:48:17.580 Well, that wraps up another edition of the AOM podcast.
00:48:26.800 Make sure to check out our website at artofmanless.com where you find our podcast archives,
00:48:30.520 as well as thousands of articles that we've written over the years about pretty much anything
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00:48:44.740 As always, thank you for the continued support.
00:48:47.420 Until next time, I'm Brett McKay reminding you to listen to the AOM podcast, but put what
00:48:51.500 you've heard into action.
00:48:52.560 Thank you very much.
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