The Art of Manliness - Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life

00:00:00.000 brett mckay here and welcome to another edition of the art of manliness podcast you want to

00:00:11.380 declutter you want to downsize you want to live more simply so what's been holding you back from

00:00:15.820 getting closer to those ideals my guests today source through both the psychological and practical

00:00:19.940 roadblocks that get in the way of living more minimally and more in the present his name is

00:00:23.940 matt paxton and he's a downsizing and decluttering expert a feature cleaner on the television show

00:00:28.440 hoarders the host of the emmy nominated show legacy list with matt paxton which showcases people's

00:00:33.300 heirlooms and treasures and the author of keep the memories lose the stuff declutter downsize and

00:00:38.860 move forward with your life we begin our conversation with how matt got into cleaning out houses and

00:00:42.820 working with hoarders and some of the worst cases of hoarding matt has seen we then get into both the

00:00:46.840 mindset and brass tacks tips he's learned from the most extreme cases of clutter that can be used by

00:00:50.920 regular people who just want to pare down their stuff we talk about why we can feel so attached

00:00:54.740 to our possessions and how to let them go while still preserving your and your family's memories

00:00:58.600 matt recommends how and where to get started with your decluttering and offers tools including creating

00:01:02.840 a maybe pile and a legacy list for deciding what to keep and what to chuck whether you're dealing with

00:01:07.160 big items like furniture or small stuff like documents and pictures matt explains what to do with your

00:01:11.540 stuff whether trashing donating upcycling or selling and how much you can reasonably expect to get

00:01:16.360 when you do the latter spoiler alert it's a lot less than you think we enter conversation with how

00:01:21.400 after you declutter your place to keep it from getting clogged up again oh and we also discuss

00:01:26.000 where to find hidden stashes of money when you're cleaning out a house of an older person who's died

00:01:30.000 this is a really fun and interesting conversation that definitely motivated me to clean out our house

00:01:34.320 after the show is over check out our show notes at awim.is slash clutter

00:01:51.400 all right matt paxton welcome to the show thanks for having me man so you are a downsizing decluttering

00:01:57.420 and hoarding expert you host a show on pbs called the legacy list you've also been on a and e's hoarders

00:02:03.400 i'm curious how do you get in this business because i don't think there's a lot of 12 year old kids out

00:02:06.900 there thinking when i grow up i want to help hoarders clean out their house so how did you get

00:02:11.580 no i mean i jokingly say you fail at everything else and this is what's left and the truth of it is i was

00:02:18.220 an economist coming out of college worked for the federal reserve and i wanted to be a banker

00:02:24.180 really wanted to be a banker badly and got all the accolades to do it i mean great economics degree

00:02:29.740 got into the federal reserve it was awesome and then like second day i was like oh i don't want to do

00:02:34.420 this and you train your whole childhood life to do it and basically i left after six months went to

00:02:41.900 caesar's palace casinos and i became an economist for caesar's palace casinos and as a 23 year old

00:02:49.320 kid i didn't have the maturity to live in that city to be really blunt and um it was just

00:02:56.060 i mean it was wild wildness and um got addicted everything he did too so i came home

00:03:01.540 and i was at 23 i had to start over and i had always cleaned old ladies garages and stuff just for

00:03:08.080 extra money that year after i came back from vegas my dad my stepdad and both my grandfathers all died

00:03:14.320 and that's when it kind of like happened i was just this young kid depressed sad and i was tasked

00:03:20.900 with cleaning out all their houses and i did it for a year and it was just awful i was sad i was alone

00:03:27.760 i was lost i didn't know what to do and all the men that had raised me had died so i couldn't really

00:03:32.120 ask him for help and one time my grandpa told me early in my life he said hey if something sucks

00:03:38.100 do it as a career because people will pay you to do it because they don't want to do it and he was

00:03:43.680 totally right so here we are 22 years later i'm talking to you i'm still doing it i honestly just

00:03:50.860 i didn't hate it so that's why i kept doing it and then when i cleared out those four houses

00:03:55.080 i still didn't know what i wanted to do so i just kept cleaning little old ladies at church

00:04:00.280 i'd clean their attics and their basements and then i stopped helping to move out and then i

00:04:04.720 realized these hoarding houses nobody wanted to touch them and so i could charge more and i loved

00:04:10.560 it and i did it for five years before i got on tv i just cleaned hoarded houses just one after

00:04:17.580 another all right so you've been doing it for what 20 plus years 21 years now yeah 21 years all right

00:04:23.900 so you've been doing this for 20 plus years i mean give us an idea i think people have probably

00:04:28.020 seen hoarders but like what's the the biggest you know how give us an idea how extreme hoarding can

00:04:35.460 be like what's the biggest project you've worked on all right so you know i do the physical part of the

00:04:41.060 cleaning and you know the harder part is the mental lifting right so and we'll talk about this more but

00:04:46.360 the you know people hoard for a reason something bad's happened to them and so it's important to know

00:04:50.960 when you walk in one of these houses the bigger the mess the more extreme it is the more insane it

00:04:55.840 looks to you that's how damaged now hurt that hoarder is so i always have to preface because

00:05:00.920 this is the number one question what's the grossest thing you've ever seen you know right i mean oh

00:05:04.500 man i had 300 cats in one house one time like alive they were running we had to catch them 300 cats

00:05:10.700 and that first cat that's easy like he's fat and lazy and hungry you just put some treats out and

00:05:15.840 grab them but the next hundred they're they're you know they're pretty wild and the last hundred are

00:05:21.040 wild animals that you know they're not going to be caught i mean and you have to like take out

00:05:25.340 drywall and stuff i mean that last cat the 300th cat that dude has survived for years and has every

00:05:32.140 disease i mean like it's the toughest animal in there and those are the ones that were really hard

00:05:35.980 to catch so like that i mean the smell on that i mean it was horrific i had i mean i don't want to

00:05:41.400 get too gross but i mean there's just been some incredible messes of volume wise we had a mansion in

00:05:46.300 north carolina one time uh if you know that the traditional 30 yard dumpster that you see

00:05:51.660 on the side of the road at a construction site right and so my business is in cubic yards which

00:05:56.880 is so that's a 30 yard dumpster and a cubic yard is basically equivalent of like a like a dishwasher

00:06:01.440 and we were moving out 10 dumpsters an hour out of that house so i'm talking three the equivalent of

00:06:10.400 300 dishwashers we were picking up and pulling out of that house every hour for four days wow and we

00:06:17.760 pulled over a million pounds of trash out of that house and i mean volume i mean that was 30 guys

00:06:23.160 for four days 12 hours a day we've cleaned out we had a we had a 18 story building in detroit

00:06:29.820 that we had to clear out and people had just kind of taken it over and hoarded out each floor

00:06:34.000 and the the developers had us come clean it out i mean there's just it's i mean that your average

00:06:39.880 home think of everything you have in your house and we and we look at it and the floor is full

00:06:45.220 and so we think our house is full right the walls and the floor and but really you know that's a 2d

00:06:50.660 look at it and a hoarder looks at it three-dimensionally and they can fill it all the way up to the top

00:06:55.060 well so you mentioned hoarders hoard for different reasons and usually it's because they're they've got

00:06:59.920 some sort of you know they've had some sort of trauma or they've got some sort of they're hurt

00:07:03.820 somehow i mean what are the the common like are there common issues you've seen with people

00:07:08.540 hoard oh yeah so it's pretty common so it's trauma it's always trauma something bad has happened to

00:07:12.720 them they're looking for their something you know good in stuff a lot of us look for it in gambling or

00:07:20.160 faith or drugs or alcohol or working out and i know i'm putting lots of different things in the same

00:07:26.380 pocket there but we all look for happiness and self-worth and something some of it's good some

00:07:30.720 is bad for the hoarders they look for it in stuff it's usually divorce or abuse or death a common one

00:07:38.140 lately is believe it or not just an empty nest where people have dedicated their whole life to raising

00:07:44.900 their children and we're at that pocket where there was some really young moms and so these women are now

00:07:50.580 50 and their kids are out of college and they're looking for their self-worth their value because

00:07:56.600 their husbands are out working and they didn't get a career they gave that up for their family and they

00:08:00.920 successfully raised a really good family and they did a great job and now they're gone and they're 50

00:08:06.460 and they don't know what to do and they go on amazon and start shopping and all of a sudden the house

00:08:11.040 just fills and so i mean that's not a horrible abuse thing it's just a loss they've gone without their

00:08:17.180 kids well another trauma you talk about that you see with people and they're these people are

00:08:22.380 they're not they're leaving us now as people who grew up during the great depression they love to

00:08:27.800 hold on to stuff and it's because they grew up in a time of scarcity it's like you could probably use

00:08:32.280 that salt and pepper shaker one day so we're gonna hold on to that yeah i mean i you know i have a lot

00:08:38.200 of clients and i'm glad you brought that up i mean i have a lot of clients that remember not having food

00:08:42.380 right they remember i mean i was in oklahoma one time and she's like oh yeah i know my dad had to

00:08:46.660 leave for three years he had to go to california to try to find work so we didn't see our dad for

00:08:50.740 10 years i mean that's true i mean could you imagine that nowadays your dad just taking off

00:08:55.500 for 10 years and sending money and he did it to support the family and the kids stayed home and

00:09:00.420 she's like you know i remember and i talked about in the book actually um one lady remember telling me

00:09:05.360 she's like oh yeah one year i got an orange for christmas and my brother got a peppermint stick

00:09:10.420 and we would uh and they would jam the peppermint stick in the orange and it's like the orange

00:09:15.280 and that was her treat and i was like yeah like a stock and stuffer she's like no that was our

00:09:19.000 whole gift and we were we were proud to have it man we as a society don't really know that type of

00:09:24.780 sacrifice they had and this is you know the last kids of the war the last kids of the depression

00:09:28.300 they didn't trust banks for a reason right it's why we find money in a lot of these houses

00:09:32.180 it all may any hoarder makes sense believe it or not if you know their story no matter how extreme

00:09:38.040 it looks it always makes sense yeah the money thing was interesting you talk about that where

00:09:43.580 you've learned over the years that when you especially when you go to a house where it's

00:09:47.940 some you know greatest generation person that's 80 and over 80 and over like you go to specific

00:09:53.100 places to look for cash because you know it's going to be there yeah i put it i got a top 10 in the

00:09:58.320 book that tells you the top places i mean my favorite one at the freezer man we always find ice

00:10:02.040 blocks full of money and i actually had one client a younger client that she would freeze her credit

00:10:08.320 card because she didn't want to be able to use it i thought that was kind of brilliant it put a it put

00:10:14.640 a two-hour thaw period on her on her purchase desires and she didn't she didn't remember the

00:10:19.700 numbers she didn't write it down before they were all saved online and so she literally would freeze

00:10:24.400 her card so that she couldn't get to him i thought that was actually brilliant yeah the toilet tank is

00:10:28.220 another place you look right yeah top of the toilet tank so obviously not the part where you poop but

00:10:32.640 you pull the top park out they would put it on a Ziploc and tape it we find it books is obviously the

00:10:36.960 number one place i mean we shake every if you're over 80 we shake every book in the house we grab

00:10:42.340 it by the binder and shake it because we'll find i guarantee we'll find thousand bucks yeah in a bible

00:10:46.360 or something like that oh yeah yeah yeah i remember when my uh my grandfather passed away a few years

00:10:51.900 ago my mom and her siblings were going through his apartment cleaning it out they'd find just like

00:10:56.480 coins in medicine bottles like oh yes all over the place oh man the so your listeners that would be

00:11:02.600 the red folgers coffee can it's either filled with pennies nails or buttons and it's an old tin coffee

00:11:11.160 tin and and we often find money in there the old orange prescription bottles you filled with quarters

00:11:16.300 and a lot of those are actually silver so you know don't don't negate those one thing we find a lot

00:11:21.920 nowadays just i was i got my you know start on the east coast near washington dc so a lot of our

00:11:27.560 clients were were government employees and they were in the 80s they would all get savings bonds

00:11:33.400 with their paycheck each week you have savings bonds so i mean i know i can see the color from

00:11:37.800 across the room of that little mustard orange yellow envelope and we i mean we would find you know

00:11:43.400 a hundred fifty dollar savings bonds and i remember one lady she goes oh those are expired i was like no

00:11:49.920 ma'am they're matured they're big difference a lot of times we're just not aware i mean we we find

00:11:56.420 this is the sexy part of what we do when we find old stock certificates that have not been converted

00:12:00.760 to digital they're old paper certificates which is live money and i mean i've had to train a lot

00:12:05.840 of my employees to understand what you know what all those things are i mean we found two million

00:12:09.400 not exaggerating we found two million dollars in old stocks and the lady the guy actually had put

00:12:18.440 them in a in a big manila envelope that said trash and sealed them and just because my work with

00:12:24.760 hoarders i knew there was something else going on no one's going to seal something and write trash on

00:12:28.400 it so i open it up two million dollars in stocks and he put them in there so that when the robbers

00:12:33.420 came they wouldn't know that it was important and so in his mind it was a safe but to the

00:12:41.820 untrained eye of a clean out it's trash because it says trash so you say your job is the the physical

00:12:48.220 part the cleanup part when you work with a hoarder are there like therapists that come in and also help

00:12:53.860 with the underlying issues yeah so on the tv show we have a therapist 24 7 on set and in real life we

00:13:01.760 require them to go to therapy beforehand because look i was an economist so i lean heavily on math

00:13:07.540 yes i'm a trash man but the numbers don't lie and at the end of the day if the hoarder goes to therapy

00:13:15.780 it's a 60 success rate they will keep their house clean but if they don't go to therapy of some kind

00:13:24.400 and therapy might be it may not be like cbt sitting on the couch and you know talking to therapists about

00:13:30.100 your feelings there's a lot of new different kinds of therapies it might just be volunteering but they

00:13:34.200 have to have something to deal with the emotional part and if they if they don't do that it's a zero

00:13:38.520 success rate let me repeat that if they don't do some type of therapy i guarantee they will repeat

00:13:45.420 and so we don't think it's ethical to clean the house and take their money from the family

00:13:48.840 if they're not going to do something to fix the mental gotcha well let's say someone's not a hoarder

00:13:54.100 but they have a lot of clutter around the house when you work with these people do you are they just

00:13:59.040 are they just less extreme versions of hoarders yeah so let's put the again let's put the math behind

00:14:03.800 net five percent of the country hoards that's 19 million people struggle with hoarding that's still

00:14:08.540 a really big number but that means 95 percent of the country just has too much stuff and that's that's

00:14:14.860 the majority of us they just have a problem with too much stuff they bought too much or they save too

00:14:18.460 much and they just want a different life and so they want less things and so it's not that you know

00:14:25.060 not everybody's a hoarder they just want to have a better life with less stuff and i and i married a

00:14:29.940 minimalist so i've gotten really onto the vibe of of less is more and i've i've really embraced it

00:14:37.060 and i love it and i think a lot of people are getting to that life of simplicity they just want

00:14:40.400 a little less which is totally normal why do you think we get attached to ourselves like why do you

00:14:44.440 think we just collect stuff and then we have a hard time getting because sometimes you'll notice

00:14:48.920 like oh man i got a lot of stuff here but you don't do anything about it yeah so i could i could i

00:14:53.180 mean i did just write a book about this so we'll talk about it yeah i mean to me it's there i really want

00:14:59.040 to stress this the stuff is stepping stones and i really want people to buy into this mentality we

00:15:04.900 got it at a certain point in our life to get to the next point so we needed it then it served a purpose

00:15:10.240 now and it may not serve us a purpose now at this phase of our life and that's okay i mean i think

00:15:16.960 about like my god like my skis and my snowshoes and my free oh man frisbee golf was huge for me in my

00:15:25.920 20s it's where i had my most social life i'd hang up my buddies we'd get a beer we'd walk in the woods

00:15:30.620 we'd throw frisbee golfs we'd play for hours did it every weekend you know the last i've been raising

00:15:37.100 a bunch of kids for the last 10 years i didn't touch them and i gave them away and when i moved

00:15:43.720 because i hadn't played them in eight years we moved to georgia just the other day my boys and i

00:15:48.200 were walking we came across a beautiful new frisbee golf course they're like dad i always wanted to do

00:15:52.460 that let's go play now i had given them away so i had to go get new ones is that okay yeah because

00:15:59.220 technology changed anyway right and there are a lot better ones now so what i mean by it did serve me a

00:16:05.660 purpose at one point in my life it didn't at another point and now it does again so i went out and bought

00:16:09.580 some more that's okay we hold on to stuff because we think we need it or it was expensive and the bottom

00:16:17.080 line is i could give you 20 excuses we hold on to things because we have a positive memory attached

00:16:23.320 to them i mean it's really just stuff it's really just atoms like it doesn't matter you could you

00:16:26.800 know we're not in a if you live in the u.s you don't have a scarcity of stuff you know even though

00:16:31.640 we we didn't have food and stuff during the pandemic you still you weren't going to go hungry

00:16:35.140 right like we don't we don't live in a time that our grandparents did so really while we're holding

00:16:39.420 on stuff we want to prove that we have value either to ourselves and to other people

00:16:42.760 and it's going to get real deep here we want to prove that we were successful that we've made it

00:16:47.200 that we've done well or we just really want to you know we think it brings us happiness i mean i did

00:16:53.520 a ted talk on this concept of you know as a young dad i wanted to buy my kids a lot of stuff because

00:16:59.620 i didn't have a lot of stuff growing up and i was raised by a single mom and she worked really hard

00:17:03.640 to give us what she could and so i wanted to provide for my kids as much as i could so i worked

00:17:07.660 super hard to buy them all this stuff right and then i would have to work harder

00:17:12.460 to make more money to buy more stuff and i would start giving excuses like oh man i'm doing this

00:17:17.840 for you guys start telling them i was doing it for them and i would start telling them that it was all

00:17:21.140 about you know trying to make them happy and i was not around and so i was working harder i was

00:17:26.240 working harder for more money and spending less time with my kids and so it was a lie like it was a

00:17:31.080 trap right that i was just working harder for more stuff and so i'd miss my kids more and i'd miss

00:17:35.020 my kids more i'd feel bad so what would i do i'd work harder to buy more stuff it's this vicious cycle

00:17:39.360 and at the end of the day i was like this is dumb how about i just spend more time with my kids and

00:17:43.620 buy them less stuff and so i did and so i've really settled down and we you know we keep stuff

00:17:48.180 because we think it makes us happy or the items are associated to someone that did bring us happiness

00:17:55.000 and joy so that's why we hold on a lot of stuff from the past because it we reminds us of great

00:17:58.960 people in great times and that's why the title of your book is keep the memories loses loses stuff like

00:18:03.140 understand that the thing is attached to a memory you can keep the memory of that yep attached to that

00:18:08.460 but with while getting rid of it at the same time yeah i tried to really dumb it down tell this the

00:18:12.500 stories live on forever and like i've been lucky enough that and i said that again i've been lucky

00:18:16.640 enough that my dad and my stepdad my grandpa they they died early and it gave me a career and my dad

00:18:23.720 now none of my kids were alive when any of those men were alive but my kids can tell you 10 stories

00:18:30.060 about each one of those men because i tell the stories all the time and i have a few items i call them

00:18:35.220 legacy list items we'll get to that in a little bit but i keep those items and i continue to tell

00:18:39.540 the stories about those men so my my sons will come up and be like oh dad tell us a story about

00:18:43.180 that time that grandpa and you guys went fishing with a bear that's awesome and then they hear the

00:18:48.240 story and they go let's go fishing to me you tell these stories i'm not saying it's going to cure

00:18:53.240 everything but it does get you started and if you tell the stories you pick a few good items you tell

00:18:58.040 the stories what it does is it keep it really puts the top tier of your items that truly matter

00:19:04.720 and the people in your past the people they're attached to those memories they live on forever

00:19:09.380 i mean my kids will have never met my father which is insane to me but they are man i mean my oldest is

00:19:16.860 my father it's crazy it's scary how much alike he is and so like my kids will even be like oh that

00:19:22.260 sounds like what your dad used to be like i'm like yeah and so i mean i constantly talking about

00:19:26.540 people from the past because they're part they're still just because they're not here that i mean

00:19:30.080 they're not part of our family but they're attached to the items we have in our house and so we have

00:19:33.220 less items because we're able to tell them we tell the stories of them so we have less stuff but the

00:19:38.000 people stay alive forever okay so i think it's a good like it's an overarching philosophy of how you

00:19:44.020 approach you know it's like tell stories about the items keep those stories alive but you can get

00:19:50.180 rid of it you don't need that thing anymore let's get into more like brass tacks yeah how do we get

00:19:55.120 started how do you get started so like let's say someone comes comes to you you go to their house

00:19:59.320 they're feeling overwhelmed by the clutter in their home they don't know how to get going what's the

00:20:04.300 first thing you do with this person all right so define the finish line you got to really know where

00:20:08.260 you're going and the reason i do this is so many clients come to me man i'm ready to declutter how do

00:20:14.780 i start great well what what's what do you need it for oh well i don't know thinking about moving

00:20:19.480 great where are you going to move to oh i don't know my mom might move in with us or we might move

00:20:25.240 in with her we haven't decided and i'm like well how can you decide what like how do you decide what

00:20:29.440 you're wearing on vacation if you don't know where you're going right like that's really what it bears

00:20:33.260 it down to and decluttering there's two things that are really easy to quit working out and decluttering

00:20:38.220 and they behave very similar and so the all these tools are really meant to keep you from quitting

00:20:43.920 right and so defining your finish line is really important and then your why and the why is it still

00:20:49.860 gets pretty sentimental and then we'll get into really deep stuff here but on the why is like well

00:20:53.460 why am i cleaning like what what like a lot of my clients are downsizing and so they're seniors and

00:20:58.640 they're going to get out of a house of 50 years and i'll say great where are you moving well i'm going

00:21:02.700 to move down to be closer to my grandkids so i'm gonna move to a smaller apartment in florida great i got

00:21:08.520 my destination which is my finish line i'm going here specifically i know the floor plan and two

00:21:13.680 i want to be closer to my kids that's my why i tell the story all the time but my son i've struggled

00:21:19.320 with weight my entire life adult life i've gone up and down 20 to 30 pounds and it bothers me and i've

00:21:26.600 been working on it my my 12 year old son said to me the other night this is like in october and he said

00:21:31.800 hey dad are you gonna die at the same age that your dad did what do you mean man he goes well your dad

00:21:38.880 was 52 and you're 46 dad so that means you're gonna die when i'm 18 and he goes dad i've been

00:21:44.980 watching you and it looks like being a dad is really hard and i'm gonna need help so i kind of want you

00:21:49.820 to be here this is at night right like i'm trying to put my kid to bed i'm like buddy do you think

00:21:54.340 about this he goes all the time dad i go buddy i promise you i'm gonna be here and he goes well

00:22:00.300 then why do you eat all those bad foods that you know are bad for you and i started to die the next

00:22:05.640 day because i want to be a grandpa that's my why all right so get real clear on your why and where

00:22:13.180 you're going because that keeps you from quitting that keeps you focused i mean that keeps you going

00:22:16.880 because it is real easy to quit but when i realize oh man i gotta be there for my son then i do it

00:22:21.520 same thing on decluttering all right step two is take it really slow so many of us has taken us 10

00:22:27.500 20 30 years to fill these spaces like i mean let's just take let's not make it a big house clean let's

00:22:32.340 just make it a garage you got two cars you got no cars in your garage you want one car in the garage

00:22:36.180 that's awesome but if it's taken you 10 years to fill that garage so don't try to do it in one

00:22:43.500 saturday that's not realistic because you haven't been doing this in a long time you got to get the

00:22:47.920 skill set back up so i always say like do it what i call the 10 minute sweep which is like really

00:22:53.280 really almost nothing you pick a one foot by one foot area half of a bookshelf an individual shelf

00:22:59.760 maybe your car's trunk maybe you know a one foot by one foot area i just say the junk mail is a good

00:23:04.800 place to start even that that junk drawer in the kitchen on the top left wherever you have yours

00:23:09.000 filled with the old bed bath and beyond coupons yeah that are expired by the way everyone has one

00:23:15.280 of those like start in that small area and go for 10 minutes that's it do 10 minutes a night for a

00:23:19.640 couple weeks and it's not about what you got accomplished it that's it's that you got something

00:23:23.760 accomplished that you got started that you're getting used to it and that's what matters and then once

00:23:28.560 you're used to it then you can expand it to an hour hour and a half two but i really wouldn't do

00:23:33.220 more than two i mean you really got to get used to just doing it doing it slow because otherwise it

00:23:37.280 becomes a job and it becomes overwhelming and it becomes easier to quit and once you quit you stop

00:23:43.720 we're gonna take a quick break for your words from our sponsors

00:23:46.660 and now back to the show now i think that's a good point start small because i know when i've done

00:23:53.560 decluttering projects in my own life i'll try to do it all on a weekend and never works it never

00:23:58.720 works you just get tired you're like okay i'm done and i'm not done well and our life doesn't

00:24:03.240 suit that right like i gotta take the kids to the game like if you have children at all or grandkids

00:24:07.760 to cut off 10 hours on a saturday is a thing that's hard now it's our one day off this in the you

00:24:14.260 know really off and so you have to just do an hour man if you try to if you know i hate closets i hate

00:24:20.800 closets because you can shut the door and you can walk away from it and avoid it for a very long

00:24:26.340 time um we actually we actually don't have any closets in my house my wife's a minimalist designer

00:24:31.180 so we actually don't have any closets because guess what if you don't have any closets you can't store

00:24:35.700 a bunch of crap that you don't need and so to me closets are symbolism of it's just the easier to

00:24:41.720 quit because you can shut the door do you have any recommendations like on where to start your

00:24:44.900 decluttering project let's say your entire house is just it needs a clean where would you start what's

00:24:50.580 the best place to start um and i'm i'm different on this one i i say don't start with the pictures

00:24:57.880 i'll say that because pictures can really wear you down but pretty much anywhere that's not heavily

00:25:02.680 emotional like if you just lost your partner don't start in the bedroom right i i don't mind doing

00:25:08.240 the garage because it gives you a clean empty space to work in that's dry and inside so sometimes

00:25:12.620 i will start in the garage but i'll set my expectations really low because the garage also has a

00:25:17.080 lot of boxes that you can break down and make a lot of space and so i would say where you should

00:25:21.420 start is somewhere you can see a lot of success immediately so if your dining room table is filled

00:25:25.860 with mail that's a great place to start gotcha i actually love i think dining room is a great place

00:25:31.360 to start because it's a big table that you can use later for sorting and quite honestly none of us are

00:25:36.520 really using our dining room anymore i mean it for a lot of us it's become an office or it's become

00:25:41.740 a place for the kids to have uh school during the pandemic i mean not rarely do we sit at the

00:25:46.860 we don't sit at the sun sunday dinner anymore at the dining room table like that's that's not

00:25:51.320 something that happens as much as it used to so that's an easier place to start now there is some

00:25:56.140 emotion there because a lot of times if you're like if your grandma downsizing to leave the house

00:26:02.140 actually that's the last place you want to start the dining room table if you're a younger generation

00:26:05.720 that you don't use that room that much then it's a good place to start for grandma like that was the

00:26:09.840 most important room in that china and that crystal and the silver that's really important and the

00:26:14.480 reality is a majority of your kids don't want that stuff yeah that's going to be a problem i imagine

00:26:20.200 coming up where oh it's now yeah yeah now yeah because like i round furniture yeah my you know my

00:26:26.020 mother she's got a china cabinet full of china that was her mother's and grandmothers and i don't we

00:26:31.880 don't have a dining room like i don't i don't want i wouldn't have any like there's gonna be a lot of

00:26:35.780 china cabinets in china on the the goodwill market here pretty soon so i work yeah i work with goodwill

00:26:41.760 i'm actually goodwill's ambassador for downsizing and decluttering and this is something we're working

00:26:47.120 on now a series it's not that and this is really important this is for grandma it's not that no one

00:26:52.820 wants your stuff it's not that they don't love you they just don't want that stuff the dining room

00:26:58.700 right because we don't have a use for our family memories are made you know at the ski slopes or at

00:27:04.640 the beach or at the river they're often at vacation spots or somewhere else and so we want

00:27:10.760 those great memories we just don't need them from the same place that you had those memories i mean

00:27:16.360 goodwill is filled with china silver crystal and brown furniture and they can't sell it because nobody

00:27:24.180 wants it maybe there'll be like a revival here in 50 years nope no you don't think so no it's a room

00:27:31.140 that doesn't even need to be in the house anymore right and so you know i will say that well i mean

00:27:35.900 look mid-modern furniture is huge right now and that's beautiful i don't think we're gonna see

00:27:40.720 a bunch of brown furniture from you know the colonial dining room furniture that we just don't need it

00:27:45.940 anymore i'll say this if you're if you if you love your china if you love your silver use it every

00:27:50.760 day you know i saw an old meme the other day that said every day is a special day don't save anything

00:27:56.080 for a special day and as cheesy as that is i think it's true so if you like that stuff start using

00:28:01.140 it man i have seen families start displaying their legacy list items in their china cabinet they got

00:28:06.480 rid of their china beautiful china coming you're talking you know with the glass windows you can

00:28:09.660 see everything start putting items that actually matter things you actually care about that tell the

00:28:14.740 story of your family like start putting those items in there and showcase them and and tell the

00:28:18.400 stories and let people see what matters in your house that's a good way to kind of re up

00:28:22.080 upcycle it and reuse it and donate by the way donate donate donate donate like the more you

00:28:28.160 donate that you will not be happy with what you get money wise for the stuff in your house here's a

00:28:35.920 stat that'll blow your mind i mean i've emptied thousands of houses and when you empty a house

00:28:41.660 after the kids have taken the stuff they want guess what the average household value is of all the

00:28:47.380 items inside your house no clue eight thousand dollars that's it that's it man you spent a

00:28:53.440 lifetime and probably a couple hundred grand filling it now good you've taken the stuff you care about

00:28:57.320 out you know the important stuff but all that extra junk and it's funny i just did this last year i

00:29:01.900 moved and i've been saying that stat for five years now and i sold all the stuff in my house on facebook

00:29:07.080 marketplace and i made eight thousand dollars it was like within two hundred dollars of what i always say

00:29:13.360 it this stuff it's about 10 financial value of what you paid for it so if you think you should

00:29:18.900 list it for a thousand bucks you're gonna be lucky to get a hundred now i'm summing i'm averaging this

00:29:23.000 is not every single item but just you know set expectations extremely low so like that dining room

00:29:28.780 set my mom paid five grand for it dude if you get 500 you'd be lucky you'd be real lucky if someone

00:29:35.460 picks it up for free you'd be lucky to be honest on a lot of that stuff pianos is a real challenge

00:29:40.140 nobody wants big pianos anymore your mom might have spent 75 000 on it 1950 and that's a ton of

00:29:47.280 money right but good luck getting even getting it donated right now because people just don't have

00:29:52.780 that's not for common life right now those things but yeah i mean it's it's donation is where you see

00:29:59.180 the most value there's always someone that needs more than you there's always a group of people that

00:30:03.540 have less and i found that man the more you donate the more you give to a family the happier you will

00:30:08.260 be and and the cleaning goes faster i imagine that's another reason that people hold on to

00:30:13.000 stuff because they think it's really valuable in their head it's valuable it's like well this this

00:30:16.480 is a grandfather clock that's been in our family for three generations it's worth you know ninety

00:30:22.200 thousand dollars it might be maybe like there maybe there's a market but like probably not most people

00:30:27.040 aren't going to put a grandfather clock in their house no let's do mindset so this a lot of this book

00:30:31.660 is about mindset and so emotional value and financial value emotional value it's worth a hundred

00:30:37.740 thousand dollars because it was your grandpa's tell me about your grandpa that's why i talk about

00:30:42.500 the story so much your grandpa was awesome but that financial value is not it's not actually equated

00:30:49.620 to how awesome your grandpa was he might have worked his butt off to get that clock for you guys he

00:30:54.500 probably did he was an amazing man and you really miss him i'm sorry he's dead this is the kind of

00:30:58.000 conversations that happen in the houses that i'm working in i go that's great but i got two bidders

00:31:02.940 on this clock and the highest bid right now is five hundred dollars and you only need two bidders

00:31:07.500 because that's basically whatever an independent third party is going to pay you for it that's what

00:31:11.240 something's worth and what i found is when we start hanging on to that well it's worth so much more

00:31:15.960 what that is that's procrastination that's your brain trying to slow down because you're just not

00:31:21.000 you're you're sad you're it's hard to let go of stuff because at one point like what if i need that

00:31:26.200 again someday what if someone really wants that or what if my kids want it your kids ate

00:31:30.600 i don't think he wants that clock right you know are you gonna haul that thing around for another 20

00:31:35.420 years you know and so we start to procrastinate what i remind people is you've already decided

00:31:39.160 you didn't want that item you've already made the decision it's not going with you you just didn't

00:31:44.540 like the price that was attached to it financially and then i start to say start to look at the value of

00:31:49.920 your time are you really going to haul this thing around and spend 100 200 bucks every time you got

00:31:54.360 to move it and you're going to spend hours trying to quit you know squeeze another 200 out of it from

00:31:58.820 someone else your time is worth so much more i mean your time is your biggest currency in life i believe

00:32:04.440 and so like you got to put a value on your time and like i've seen families fight over a hundred

00:32:10.960 hours on a table and i'm like dude if there's 10 people here arguing for three hours on text

00:32:15.740 over a hundred dollars really like this is ridiculous i really encourage people to be like put a

00:32:22.000 financial time on your on your on your financial value on your time and that really starts to tell

00:32:27.500 you you know how much something is actually financially worth but what we're arguing is over

00:32:31.560 the emotional value not the financial value well related to this you talk about uh the issue with

00:32:36.080 comes up with storage right where people will take that furniture that belonged to grandma or grandpa

00:32:40.680 and put it into storage that costs like up to 300 400 a month and if it's there for 25 years

00:32:47.360 you've what spent maybe 100 grand dude i had a lady she was paying 150 no 225 a month i got my

00:32:54.840 calculator i'm gonna do right now and it was her nice stuff right this is her best stuff and it was

00:33:00.260 in there for 225 a month for 20 years so that was 54 000 she spent storing her nice furniture

00:33:09.880 that we sold for about five grand when we got it out yeah okay so negative 49 000

00:33:17.040 i told you earlier let the math figure it out i talk a lot in the book about a spreadsheet decision

00:33:21.780 a spreadsheet will take the emotion out of it and i'm going to put that map right again 54 000

00:33:28.100 it sold for 5 000 it was 49 000 if having it there brought you security and made you feel better

00:33:35.060 than it was worth the 49 000 might not have been though and so i i remind people everybody again

00:33:41.960 back to the stepping stones like you had it at some point in your life because you needed it now you

00:33:45.100 don't need it it's okay to let it go but man 49 grand think what you could do think of the opportunity

00:33:49.720 cost with that 49 grand i mean that's put that let's let's think that was in a bond right

00:33:56.220 what if that 49 grand had earned five percent a year like that's a whole and now you're looking at 200

00:34:03.100 grand over 20 years you know when you think about it that way and it's just stuff don't be wrong

00:34:07.320 stuff has given me a career and i love i have some nice stuff too like i have a i have an air jordan

00:34:11.200 collection i love air jordans i have a very expensive jordan collection my wife hates it but it's the one

00:34:17.920 thing i enjoy so that's okay but i um by having less stuff it enables me to have nice fewer nice things

00:34:26.200 okay uh so again the reminder there separate emotional value with financial value always and then start

00:34:33.000 off small to 10 minute sweep work your way up don't try to do this all in one day start in a

00:34:38.920 room that's you know whatever gives you success yeah it gives you success so when you're talking

00:34:44.260 with a person they're going through their stuff and they're looking at each item how do you help

00:34:48.120 them decide whether they should keep it or get rid of it so i have a lot of exercises i mean one when's

00:34:54.860 the last time you used it and in my book i say if you haven't used it in a month do you really need

00:34:59.300 it now that was a trick for the readers is a month for long enough no of course it's not

00:35:04.500 and everyone gets mad at me oh the month's not alone it should be six months it should be 12 months

00:35:09.040 it should be 18 months and people argue great i just wanted you to pick the time that's all i put

00:35:15.060 the lowest time possible to make people decide when it is it's usually a year if you haven't used

00:35:19.440 it in a year do you really need it i talk about skis all the time i mean where i grew up we used to

00:35:24.660 get snow and we all go skiing every friday night man we had snow in like five years right the world's

00:35:29.980 just changing and i don't have the time to go skiing everywhere like that's not realistic and

00:35:33.960 and skis have changed start getting realistic about that and what i call that is your fantasy life

00:35:38.540 versus your reality a lot of us live in a fantasy life we keep all these great clothes we keep all

00:35:43.840 these amazing items even with hobbies like people have kept all these hobbies during the pandemic

00:35:48.820 are you really going to make that many more blankets you know are you really going to make that

00:35:53.660 much more sourdough bread how much stuff do we need for these hobbies and it was the fantasy life

00:35:59.120 that we had at that time and i say let's get real focused on your reality life that also goes with

00:36:03.520 clothes do i need my size 28 jeans i'm a snug 36 guys i think i can get rid of my 28s and my 30s and my

00:36:11.080 32s i still got a chance on my 34s you know i had to get react you know the reality in my closet is that

00:36:18.040 that stuff doesn't fit me anymore it's easy to you know i tell people to do like with with you have

00:36:22.620 grandkids like do a fashion show put on the clothes well one if they don't fit right away you know

00:36:26.580 right away right if you can't even get them on then come on donate them if they're just ridiculous

00:36:30.800 looking and the kids laugh at you probably time to get rid of those too and then i really focus on

00:36:35.700 the donation again think of how many people could use that i mean on my tv show legacy list we just

00:36:40.540 had a show last week that aired where this guy was a retired nba coach he had coached for 20 years in

00:36:45.980 the nba 25 years in the nba he had 10 nba championship rings he'd won one as a player

00:36:52.040 and nine as a coach and he had two whole closets filled with suits and he was a tall guy he was like

00:36:59.260 6'10 6'9 and we were able to find a group that took those suits and they refurbished them to men

00:37:05.860 that were coming out of prison that needed nicer clothes and they were ecstatic because they were tall

00:37:10.780 they were you know they were extra long suits and they don't get those and so there were a bunch of

00:37:14.740 young men that got really nice suits now they could get back into the workforce and try to get

00:37:18.100 a job and it was through donation and that was a way we were able to clear out his house

00:37:22.000 he had to get real about his reality he's not wearing suits anymore he's not coaching anymore

00:37:26.620 he's retired and so he was able to get rid of that stuff but that was really hard for him because that

00:37:31.060 those suits were who he was so that was his you know his armor it wore every day and it was really

00:37:38.380 hard when he finally he said i'm okay i'm giving someone else a chance at a job so it's worth it

00:37:42.140 he's like and they're gonna look good and so again that again that don't figure out what you're

00:37:46.540 doing for donating is really important that's a tool it's not just a it's not just an easy place

00:37:50.800 to drop stuff off you got to believe that you're making someone's life better and that'll make you

00:37:55.040 happier to let go of things okay so first tool heuristic if you haven't used it in over a year

00:37:59.860 get rid of it you don't need it anymore you also have this other tool you use when someone's sort

00:38:04.600 of on the fence with something like i don't know like maybe they've got a lot of emotional

00:38:08.100 attachment it's the maybe pile maybe i love the maybe pile so your piles are keep sell donate

00:38:14.360 trash and maybe maybe is really powerful because at the beginning you're going to have a lot more

00:38:21.700 maybe because you're just not there yet and a lot of times you'll be like oh man i love this item

00:38:26.520 gotta have it on day one and you you're like okay fine keep and then you say all right well wait a

00:38:31.920 minute maybe i don't know maybe maybe put in the maybe and what happened at the end of each day

00:38:36.060 you come back to the maybe pile and you realize i'm not sure yet and if you're not sure yet that's

00:38:40.800 fine because if you if you if you get rid of the maybe pile then you're never going to move forward

00:38:44.860 because keep is definite right trash is definitely no question on either one of those sell is pretty

00:38:49.780 clear if you can't sell it or you don't want to donate it you put in maybe and then what happens

00:38:54.000 is you come back at the end of the job and you're like man why did i keep this teddy bear from my

00:38:58.680 girlfriend in eighth grade this is ridiculous you know but at the beginning you thought that was

00:39:02.800 important but then you've gone through all the other emotions on this journey and cleaning out

00:39:06.020 and on day 10 is not that important and so it's easier to let go of things on day 10 than it was

00:39:10.860 on day one so you'll find that and this isn't this isn't a full safe you know foolproof tool but maybe

00:39:16.900 pile really does help you keep going faster through the process and then helps you you're not punting

00:39:22.800 the decisions you're just putting them later down the line when you're more warmed up gotcha

00:39:27.840 so you mentioned earlier this thing called the legacy list what's that so legacy list it's the title of

00:39:33.080 my show and a legacy list is just a list of five or six items that mean the most to tell your family

00:39:39.060 story right for me i've got a ring of my dad's i've got a poker chip i've got a cookbook from my mom

00:39:46.300 that she actually made for my dad and my parents got divorced when i was six but later in life

00:39:52.160 my mom went out and talked to my every woman in my dad's family and every woman in my family

00:39:57.040 and even the old ladies at church and got all their recipes that we grew up on and she gave this

00:40:02.420 book to my dad and later in life and then when he passed away i got the book but it's all the

00:40:07.980 recipes i grew up in and it's in all of their handwritings so it's my mom my grandma my great

00:40:12.820 grandma my other great grandma like all these great recipes all in their handwriting and now i have

00:40:16.980 this one book with all in one place that is an incredible legacy right so why i want you to tell

00:40:23.380 like to really create a five or six items that tell your family story it sets the pace on what's

00:40:28.520 important to you guys and and again it gets you into the habit of telling the stories and so what

00:40:33.200 it does is when you have these five or six items you got to share them too you got to show them all

00:40:36.780 they're not meant to be in storage you know like you don't you if it's so important to you why would

00:40:41.220 it be in storage like that makes no sense to me and i see so many families oh this is really

00:40:45.520 important it was my great grandfather's i love it you got to see it great show it to me well it's in

00:40:50.360 storage i gotta go get it well then i'm gonna say it's not important it's not there so like that's

00:40:55.980 something i've started to say like put that in your china cabinet right put that on your mantel

00:40:59.320 put that in your bookshelf like start putting those legacy list items out there but what they do is it

00:41:03.740 gets people used to telling the story and then it sets the pace of what's actually important so these

00:41:09.260 are typically items that belong to a parent grandparent yeah right and maybe even you maybe even you

00:41:14.920 i mean i had one lady that uh i found an olympic medal it was like a she was it was like an olympic

00:41:23.860 she was a piano teacher i mean i'll never forget her and i was a kid i mean i was this is before i

00:41:28.640 was a cleaner but it's funny i look back in life i cleaned a lot of houses even as a kid i was just

00:41:33.300 trying to hustle and make extra money but my piano teacher it was from czechoslovakia and i don't think

00:41:39.640 it's a country anymore but at the time it was and she won a uh an olympic medal in the javelin

00:41:45.480 and female olympic medal silver medal and we found it and i was like why is this in the drawer she's

00:41:52.660 like eh it's just from my past it's who i was it's not who i am and i was i always thought that was

00:41:58.340 fascinating you know i mean even my grandma used to win all these county fairs she would win these uh

00:42:02.960 blue ribbons for her for her garden and right before she passed i was cleaning her house and i said

00:42:08.600 where are all these ribbons she said oh that you know your trophies should not be found when you're

00:42:12.780 alive they should be found when you're dead and she goes otherwise you're bragging and although i

00:42:19.160 know she believed that i think she's wrong like man we should see your trophies now like put those

00:42:23.700 you don't put them all out put one out but like i i think it's okay to brag about what you've done

00:42:28.980 i mean put these items out it's for your family or for you but again it gets you in the practice of

00:42:34.020 telling the stories and being proud of your family and what that does is it separates the memories

00:42:37.980 from the stuff and you'll find that you're able to let go of a lot of other stuff just because

00:42:41.540 you're already telling the stories of people you can only tell so many stories and every item has

00:42:46.320 a story that's why i put a limit on the number because if you're keeping every item to tell every

00:42:50.140 story no story is ever going to get told and your kids are going to hire me to throw all your stuff

00:42:54.240 away because they don't even know what the stories are one tip so say you got your legacy list and

00:43:00.300 there's like items you want to keep intact and display but another one of the tips i liked a lot was

00:43:04.400 when you're going through maybe a parent stuff or a grandparent stuff upcycle it like somehow use it

00:43:10.000 incorporate it into your life so there's i think you gave the example you had some rings owned by

00:43:14.820 some grandparents you melted them down and made a ring for yourself yeah so my wedding band is old

00:43:21.120 rings from all the men and women in my family and i shipped it in and they melted me a wedding band

00:43:27.020 it's jewelry that would have just sat in a drawer somewhere it's not particularly fancy jewelry

00:43:31.740 it's just gold it's neat and then in fact when i was going through all that jewelry to find that

00:43:37.200 and i love upcycling i could tell you a hundred stories on upcycling but it takes an upcycling is

00:43:42.180 taking old items and repurposing them for modern living but still allowing you to celebrate the past

00:43:47.860 it's like i love that i have my great uncle stuff and i found my grandfather's old ring from alaska

00:43:52.900 he went during the war he got placed in alaska and i didn't put this in the book but the coolest

00:43:58.300 thing i found was awesome my grandfather was a farmer hard-working guy never saw him cuss or take

00:44:04.640 a day off he worked every day of his life hardest working dude i mean he was a preacher like everything

00:44:09.360 but just a wonderful man and i found with this alaska ring i found a telegram from him to his sister it

00:44:17.220 just said alaska is great send more money that was it and i never heard my grandfather ask for money

00:44:26.640 ever you know he just didn't do it and he worked really hard but i love that telegram so i actually

00:44:30.820 kept the telegram so i'm not saying get rid of everything but like get rid of the 80 that doesn't

00:44:36.260 really matter right that lets you keep the ones that really do so i did keep the alaska ring and

00:44:41.180 the telegram because i think it's hilarious and i have a feeling one of my sons will like it

00:44:44.260 it's also smaller than a bread box so it's easy to keep it you could turn that telegram into like a

00:44:49.720 piece of art like frame it put on your wall i know i should i don't have any so my house is a

00:44:54.120 minimalist house we have no walls man it's all windows so like i've even had my wife took this

00:44:59.600 to the extreme i should say fiance we're not married yet but with seven we have seven kids and we just

00:45:04.240 haven't gotten to it believe it or not and we have six boys under 13 so we're like deep in it right

00:45:09.640 now but yeah someday some of these items we'll get we will get them you know i guess why i'm saying

00:45:13.520 this is like a lot of people are listening like will you do this professionally matt your house is

00:45:16.660 probably perfect no way man my life's as crazy as yours is i mean my life is crazy and we're just

00:45:22.400 surviving just like you are but a lot of these rules will help you keep it in mind you know and

00:45:26.480 slowly progress to where you want to be so you talk about like big stuff china cabinets jewelry

00:45:32.320 things like that physical tangible things a lot of clutter is just documents and pictures in any

00:45:39.080 advice there and helping people sort through that stuff because i imagine you walking home and there's

00:45:42.240 just just piles all over the place yeah i'm sure everyone's got like their pile in their kitchen

00:45:47.180 right where they just put everything how do you sort through that stuff all right so junk mail get

00:45:51.900 through the mail first junk mail is exactly that it's junk mail shred it rip it up if you owe

00:45:56.800 somebody money they're going to find you so don't worry about that i mean if you find a bill you owe

00:46:00.960 pay it obviously but you know 90 of your junk mail is it's just that junk mail go through it quickly

00:46:06.380 i i get into a habit of keeping it clean which is my mail i do that over the recycling bin i don't

00:46:12.000 even take it to a table the minute you put your mail down you're not going to touch it for a week

00:46:15.240 so i take it right to the recycling bin and i look at it and i shred it up if i don't need it

00:46:20.020 i shred it right away and so it never even makes it onto it because you put that bag down it's going

00:46:24.540 to stay and that's a habit like that's how a lot of my hoarder houses started started with one bag

00:46:29.240 they went to target to get something they got tired it was hot they sat down on the chair put the bag

00:46:32.960 down and then they didn't empty it and then like a week later man i need mustard they go to the store

00:46:37.400 again get mustard i mean you know when you empty a hoarder's house you'll find like 10 cans of the same

00:46:42.240 stuff or like 20 hammers because they go to get it they forget it put it down they forget

00:46:46.160 so on paper get back to the paper get really really focused on your bank statements you only need

00:46:53.260 the end of the year 12 31 that's the only one you need i mean your taxes you do need seven years but

00:46:59.780 you can digitize all this paper i mean a very honestly there's apps on your phone now you just

00:47:04.440 take a picture of it genius scans a wonderful app take a picture of it email it to yourself you're good

00:47:10.060 i mean you really don't need to keep most of your paperwork you can scan it all digitize it now here's

00:47:16.740 the kicker on the on this have two copies of your digital downloads have one on your computer and then

00:47:22.620 save one on a hard drive and put that hard drive on a safe fireproof safe you want to back up your

00:47:28.100 backup on that i mean so the paper and in the book i list all the paperwork you need like all of it

00:47:33.980 and how long you need to keep it medical records legal records taxes all of it all your documentation

00:47:40.420 where it gets hard is genealogy and pictures genealogy is something that comes up a lot in

00:47:46.620 my career because i didn't know a whole lot of out of it early on and i went out to this conference in

00:47:51.860 salt lake city called roots tech have you ever heard about it yeah it man it's the it's the woodstock

00:47:55.960 of genealogy and it's unbelievable and the amount of technology that's out there to help you find

00:48:02.440 the information about your family it's new to me and i just love it i'm fascinated by it so i'm even

00:48:06.180 finding myself holding on to a little more of the genealogy side of it and so i always want to say be

00:48:10.980 respectful of that if that's who you are in your family and you're the person in charge of that then

00:48:14.560 make a space for that in your home and respect it and make the space for it and that's awesome

00:48:19.280 but on the pictures man that's when we get into trouble because we keep doubles of everything we have

00:48:24.820 doubles from the 80s and 90s and early 2000s so the the ones i tell you to get rid of and when you're

00:48:31.060 going through the pictures get really really this is where i want you to do the 10 minute suite

00:48:34.880 don't spend more than 30 minutes a night on pictures otherwise it's just you get lost in there

00:48:38.640 but go through the the whole piles at a time and say okay i'm gonna get rid of the doubles i'm gonna

00:48:43.780 get rid of the negatives because you haven't used them yet it's 30 years by the way so you haven't

00:48:50.040 used them yet just to put math in there if you got it in 1890 it's 30 years ago we don't need them

00:48:55.280 get rid of the negatives get rid of the doubles get rid of the generic landscapes which is just oh

00:48:59.680 that's a mountain or that's a beach you don't know which one it is and there's no people that

00:49:05.540 identify it and no landmarks it's just a landscape get rid of the generic landscapes get rid of the

00:49:11.460 people that you do not know who they are or honestly care to know you know don't like them

00:49:16.640 and that's a new one i've added the people you don't like i can't tell you how many families that

00:49:20.620 they're like oh that's my ex-husband's family i don't like this why are you holding them well someone

00:49:24.840 might want them someday when's the last time you talked to them it's been 15 years they're not

00:49:29.540 going to call you can get rid of the stuff that people you don't like and don't want now be careful

00:49:34.020 in genealogy i want to say this when i say pictures of the people you don't know who they are this is

00:49:39.220 not the old tin type genealogical pictures okay this is just you know a picture you took on your phone

00:49:43.920 you don't remember anybody in the picture is that a party in college and they don't get rid of those

00:49:48.900 you know the old you know really important family heirloom pictures i still put those to the side

00:49:53.800 and so just those tips alone right there like just the the duplicates the negatives the generic

00:50:00.240 landscapes and the people you don't like or don't know that will knock out more than half your

00:50:04.960 pictures right there and then utilize digitization digitization on there's so many good companies

00:50:09.600 out there that will do that for you i i'm i'm a big believer in your time is worth more than you

00:50:14.360 than the cost of that so get it down to a reasonable number and then have it digitized

00:50:20.000 i mean and i'll say this one a stack of pictures one inch high is actually a hundred pictures

00:50:27.020 100 pictures how many thousands and ten thousands of pictures do you have in shoeboxes i mean or in

00:50:34.740 buckets i mean i've had families that have like you know that whole room is dedicated to pictures now

00:50:38.180 and we just don't have enough time or bandwidth or space to go through them all and tell the stories

00:50:42.120 of all of them so get get focused on them get it down to i think 500 is a reasonable so a shoebox

00:50:47.000 should be reasonable how many people you should totally save at the end uh another tip i found

00:50:50.660 useful i'm in this i'm kind of getting out of the stage but i'm at the stage in life where my kids

00:50:55.000 make me art and you know you're like oh this is great then you throw it in the trash and they find

00:50:59.600 it in the trash like dad why did you throw this away i made this for you and you have to take it out

00:51:04.540 it just sits on your desk one thing i've been doing is i'll take pictures of it yep and then chunk it

00:51:09.940 digitize the pictures i have a folder on the phone for each kid

00:51:13.580 right and i take the pictures of it now with seven kids i mean we're pretty ruthless like we're like

00:51:19.040 oh great look at your folder and we like we like great picture we rip it up and put it recyclable

00:51:22.760 right in front of them and i've made my kids a little harder on that you know but they're like

00:51:27.140 that's just the other day my eight-year-old was like dad i made that for you so we do have a um we

00:51:32.960 have kind of a frame it's one of those foldable frames and that you know that opens up and so each

00:51:37.640 week the kid will pick and the younger kid i mean your kids are something they're getting older yeah this is

00:51:41.840 really important for the younger kids because i've seen families that like they kept every single

00:51:45.080 picture every picture their kid made and and let's be really honest here it's mediocre art at best

00:51:52.460 i mean right at best we're keeping it because we love our kids and we don't want them to get upset

00:51:57.720 we're not keeping because it's great artwork but once a year they make a good piece right and so

00:52:02.600 that's what i'm saying to set you for there's one a year you really want so don't keep them all

00:52:06.120 and what we do is we take the picture each week whichever one they love keep that one they love

00:52:10.580 get rid of the rest right and at the end of the month decide which one they love and it goes in

00:52:14.340 that frame that opens up right it has a has a latch door on it that opens up you can get them at any

00:52:19.640 hobby store right and so you're switching out the pictures each month and they get to see the art that

00:52:25.180 they choose not you them and then at the end of the year you've got one that you keep and you put

00:52:31.100 that in in the in a bin and so i have a bin for each kid and literally we keep one a year that's it

00:52:40.180 but they've displayed up to 12 a year and we've kept a couple of them digitally for each one

00:52:44.920 but i promise you on the back end we moved last year and i had i had kept every i'd kept pretty much

00:52:51.340 every painting of my kids and i threw away like all but like four or five because and they haven't

00:52:57.600 asked for them i promise you okay so you've done all this stuff you've sorted piles you got your pile

00:53:01.540 for uh donate sell trash that's pretty much it and like you're big heavy on donating because

00:53:07.400 selling it it's going to take a lot of time even money and you're not going to make that much from

00:53:12.220 it so well let's let's talk about sell real quick it's not that you can't ever sell and i don't want

00:53:16.100 to press a lot of but the reality is a lot of the stuff isn't worth anything but there's two ways i do

00:53:21.900 encourage selling one is through just mass like sell it all on an online auction get an online auction

00:53:28.340 company to come in they do all the posting for you they market it they sell it they have people that

00:53:32.720 they have buyers if you're doing a yard sale or an estate sale at your house it will not go well

00:53:37.960 that's not your job that's not what you do you want a company that has lots of buyers to do it

00:53:43.560 and quite honestly you don't want that in your house you want it at the at the estate auction house

00:53:49.020 where people come and get it it's got to be online or there won't be a lot of traffic if you're selling

00:53:54.920 items one-off i'm really big on facebook marketplace it's the easiest thing and it's local

00:53:59.460 people oftentimes people you know so you can put stuff on facebook marketplace for whatever price

00:54:04.680 you're willing to get for it people will haggle so be ready for that but if it doesn't sell in a day

00:54:09.860 then just take it over to the buy nothing groups and donate it but but there is you can quickly find

00:54:15.480 out if there's a market for something if 50 people ask you to immediately ask you for it

00:54:19.360 there's a market there's a market and at tools tools you should always sell try the furniture at a

00:54:25.920 low price because it's still better than hiring someone to come pick it up

00:54:29.460 i mean because that'll cost you money even if someone buys it for 100 bucks or 50 bucks but

00:54:34.140 they come get it themselves then that's still cheaper for you because you're not paying 100

00:54:38.840 someone to take it away and so like i mean the key is don't waste your time put time limits on it and

00:54:45.300 i would say a day put it on facebook marketplace if it doesn't sell then just give it away any tips on

00:54:50.480 so you've done all this you clean your house out how do you prevent the clutter from accumulating again

00:54:54.360 so the key is you spent you know you spent the last 20 years filling your house up then we just

00:54:59.940 spent the last six months cleaning it out let's get back to the 10 minutes we clean every night

00:55:04.340 10 minutes maintenance just like weight loss you can't do a diet workout and then lose all the weight

00:55:09.700 and then go back to eating the worst food in the world you got to stay with it so same thing with

00:55:13.360 the cluttering just stay with it don't let it get away never put the bags down right always empty the

00:55:18.580 bag always empty the bag when you come back from the store equal in equal out when you buy something

00:55:23.780 new get something of the same size out of the house go donate it on the paper i keep a shred box

00:55:29.680 in my trunk and i keep a donate box in my trunk why in the trunk of my car because if i put it in the

00:55:35.780 garage it'll overflow and fall all over the floor and i'll never take it in if it's in my trunk

00:55:41.580 once it's full i drive by somewhere and the kid at goodwill takes it out of the back of my car

00:55:46.000 i mean i didn't have to like take it out of my car anymore good like that's how crazy that is like

00:55:50.440 they literally come to pop your trunk and they grab it for you so just keep those boxes ready

00:55:55.100 and take your donation stuff right to your trunk because the minute you put it down it's not going

00:56:00.240 to move you all you did was transfer it from point a of your house to point b you didn't get it out

00:56:04.400 of your house right so i put those boxes in my in my car i think that's the easiest way to do it

00:56:08.780 stay on top of it everything has a place put it do that extra two minutes of work every night when

00:56:13.840 you get back from the store put the stuff back where it goes when you're working out of your

00:56:17.060 tools you got to do something you use the hammer and the nails take it right back to the garage put

00:56:22.280 it in its place don't put it down on the kitchen room table because then you're not going to touch

00:56:25.800 it till next weekend well matt this has been a great conversation where can people go to learn

00:56:29.600 more about the book and your work so the book you can buy anywhere keep the memories lose the stuff

00:56:34.420 it's on sale now if you can't afford it go to the library and check it out and if you can go to

00:56:39.040 any you know barnes and noble amazon target any independent bookstore my website for the tv show

00:56:44.860 is my legacy list mylegacylist.com you can watch all three seasons on there now or on pbs anywhere in the

00:56:53.120 country public television it's a great show it'll really it's a positive show about aging community

00:56:58.160 american telling their stories super fun we find a lot of awesome history there but check that show out

00:57:02.380 and we have tons of tips all over mylegacylist.com lots of videos and then we do have a resource

00:57:08.460 section from our book is on that website mylegacylist.com so every company i've ever worked

00:57:13.560 with that i recommend you using it's all on that website and then there's a chart of the first hundred

00:57:18.460 items people ask me about what should i do with it everything from pianos to stamps do i donate do i

00:57:25.100 sell and it gives you all the resources all that's on the website at mylegacylist.com and then of course

00:57:29.280 my social media is i am matt paxton any handle anywhere you want to go we got lots of quotes

00:57:34.880 inspirational quotes and helpful tips from the book and from my career and we'd love to hear from

00:57:40.920 you and if you want to feature your family on our show we are casting right now for season four if

00:57:46.320 you got a cool grandma that you just that's awesome and wonderfully weird and you want to feature a

00:57:51.060 story go to mylegacylist.com we are accepting casting right now for filming later this year well

00:57:56.400 fantastic well matt paxton thanks for your time it's been a pleasure hey thank you man i really

00:58:01.020 appreciate it my guest name is matt paxton he's the author of the book keep the memories lose the

00:58:05.580 stuff it's available on amazon.com and bookstores everywhere you can find more information about

00:58:09.020 legacy list at mylegacylist.com also check out our show notes at aom.is slash declutter where you can

00:58:14.560 find links to resources and we delve deeper into this topic

00:58:16.820 well that wraps up another edition of the a1 podcast make sure to check out our website at

00:58:27.900 art of manliness.com we find our podcast archives as well as thousands of articles written over the

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00:58:56.260 continued support until next time it's brett mckay mind telling listen they went podcast but put

00:59:00.220 what you've heard into action

The Art of Manliness - February 21, 2022

Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life

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