Dog as Cure for the Midlife Malaise
Episode Stats
Summary
Jeff Goodrich shares what his life was like at age 49 before getting Duder the dog, and how Duder sparked changes that helped him lose 70 pounds, repair his relationships, and find real happiness. Along the way, we talk about advice that can apply to anyone trying to get out of a midlife slump, even if you don t own a dog.
Transcript
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Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness podcast.
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Maybe you're in a midlife slump. Maybe you're unhappy in your job and marriage. Maybe you're
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inactive and overweight. Maybe you've tried to change your life before, but can't seem to make
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the changes stick. What do you need to do to finally turn things around? My guess would say
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that the answer might be getting a dog. Jeff Goodrich is the author of Dude and Duder,
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How My Dog Saved My Life. Today on the show, Jeff shares what his life was like at age 49 before
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getting Duder the dog and how Duder sparked changes that helped him lose 70 pounds,
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repair his relationships, and find real happiness. Along the way, we talk about advice that can apply
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to anyone trying to get out of the midlife slump, even if you don't own a dog. Although Jeff would
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say, you really should get one. After the show's over, check out our show notes at awim.is slash dog.
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All right, Jeff Goodrich, welcome to the show. Thanks, Brett, for having me on.
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So you wrote a book called Dude and Duder, How My Dog Saved My Life. And in this book,
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you take readers through a midlife transformation that was kickstarted after your family got a
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vizala. Is that how you pronounce it? Vizala. Vizala, a vizala that you named Duder. But before
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we get to how Duder changed your life, let's talk about what your life was like before you got him.
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Because I know there's a lot of our listeners probably are going through something that you
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went through at midlife during their 40s, 50s, and they're feeling that slump. So what was your
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midlife slump like? Great question. When we first brought Duder home with us, I was 49 years old
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at the time. And there was a lot of things going on in my life. Physically, I was overweight. I was
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lazy. I did not feel healthy. I just plain had a hard time rolling out of bed every day. Mentally,
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I was basically depressed, did not have a whole lot of hope for the future at all. You know,
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we always try to put on that good face. But under the covers, I was just coasting along and it felt
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like I was just trying to get to the end of the day. How do I do this? My relationship, I've been
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married for a very long time and I refer to my wife as the blonde. And my marriage to the blonde was
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very, very rocky. And I had learned later on that she was actually putting some plans in place to
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divorce me. The two of us, you know, we were married at 18 years old. So we've been married a
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long time. So things were just plain not good. I was just coasting along in life and just feeling
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crappy about life. Was there a moment that you, you know, a specific moment you realized
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you weren't happy with where life was going for you? It's one of those things, midlife is like,
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aging is hard because it's, it's so subtle and gradual that you don't really notice until
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there's always some moment you're like, Oh boy, like things aren't good. Was there a moment for you?
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Well, there, there was a, yeah, there was a very specific moment, but up until that time,
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I mean, I had spent 15, maybe even 16 years living my life in this state. And I had during that time,
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I had a lot of moments of, Oh, okay. I need to do something different. I didn't lose some weight.
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I think I even went and joined a gym a couple of times and I made promises to the blonde. Okay. I'm
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going to do, I'm going to be better. I'm going to do this different and made some promises to myself.
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So I had a lot of, of moments like that, but then I turned 50 and that moment really, really
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triggered some stuff. And everyone's been there that, you know, you turn 30, it's a trigger. You turn 40,
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you turn 50. And that really, really was a triggering moment was just that 50. And then
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looking back on my life and it really brought up all this ideas of the regrets in life and all of
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that. So that was a very triggering moment. And then you also talk about in the book, I mean,
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one of the biggest challenges that you had to overcome is in the 15 years leading up to turning
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50, you had those moments where like, Oh man, I need to lose weight or, Oh man, my relationship needs
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to be better. I need to invest more in that. And then you try and make those attempts and then
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you'd backslide. And you talk about how you developed a sort of learned helplessness. You
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became hopeless. That was like the biggest thing that you just felt hopeless. Like it's too late for
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me to change. And I think a lot of men at that age can recognize that as well, or are familiar with
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that and can relate. Absolutely. I had these moments of, okay, I need to do something different,
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but nothing ever stuck. I couldn't, I didn't have the discipline. I didn't, for whatever reason.
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And there's many, many reasons why that is. Some of it might be that I was just eating unhealthy.
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And so my brain and body just were not operating efficiently. But looking back in hindsight,
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what in the past, I didn't really understand why I should do this. I just had this idea,
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I need to lose weight, but I didn't have and fully develop my why. Why should I do this? What's my
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reason? And so this next time around, when I hit 50, that really became important. Figure that out
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and refer to it daily. Why am I doing this? And that helped keep me going.
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Yeah. I think that's one of the hardest challenges of midlife is figuring out your why.
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Or this reminds me, this is like a city slickers, right? You seen that city slickers?
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Right. Where the guy, he talks about, you got to find your one thing, your one thing.
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Because I think when you're young, you're in your twenties, there's always a goal there for you.
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That's already set in place. Well, I got to go to college so I can get the job. And then I got to
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get the job so I can have a family and I got to work hard so we can buy a house. And then you reach
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midlife and those predetermined goals aren't there for you. And so you have to figure out,
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well, why am I going to do this stuff now? And that's, that's hard.
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And so when I hit 50, you know, you start looking back, you start having regrets and you look back
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at your life. And I realized that I was living my life according to what everyone else was telling me
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how I should live it from what I was watching on TV, family, the news, social media, all of this.
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That's how I'm supposed to live my life. So at some point along in the process here,
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I switched that to, I need to find my own why and live my own life. This is mine. I'm going to
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live it according to what I want to do. That was critical too.
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And this is where Duder comes in. So you were 49 when you got Duder, correct?
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Yep. Did your family have dogs before, before, and were you a dog family?
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Growing up when I was a kid, we did not have any dogs. So I did not have dogs when I was a kid.
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Early on in our marriage, we had a couple of dogs just for like two or three years. We had a boxer
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and then we had a sheltered dog in our house for maybe less than a year, but that was it.
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So we were not necessarily a dog. We just never grew up with dogs. So.
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It might've been like the kids were out of the house. Maybe I'm feeling lonely. It's just my
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wife and I here in this house. It's pretty empty. Maybe we need something else. Maybe we need another
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kid. That's kind of what it felt like. And talked to my wife into it. And she, you know, she agreed
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as long as I was the one that took care of him and cleaned up the poop and did all of that,
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but she agreed to it. So that's kind of how it started.
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And why did you settle on the breed that you picked?
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We specifically found a litter and I wanted to get a Vichla and Vichlas are bred as hunting dogs.
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So they're kind of a bird dog, but there is a specific story of why I got a Vichla, why we wanted
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this breed. Part of my background in my life is I've had a history of seizures and I've never been
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able to figure out what the cause of that was. And I remember one particular time, many years ago,
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we went over to a friend's house and they had a Vichla and his name was Bear. And I remember walking
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in the door one day and this dog would not leave me alone. He was all over me, sniffing me. I went
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and sat down. He went over and sat down next to me. I got up to go to the bathroom. He would follow
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me everywhere. He was just obsessed with me for some reason. And it turned out that I was feeling
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some of these seizures coming on. And somehow this dog was able to sense that. And I got up at one
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point and went into the bathroom at my friend's house and had a seizure. And this dog, Bear,
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started barking and clawing at the door because he knew something was wrong. And so my friends were
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able to come get me out of the bathroom and take care of the situation. And I do remember thinking
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that, okay, if I ever did get a dog in my life, I wanted to get a Vichla because this Vichla saved my
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life. Are Vichlas known for being able to recognize seizures in individuals?
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I think they are. There's actually a lot of different dogs that are called seizure dogs
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and they are specifically trained and they can sense. I don't think we really know exactly how
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they do it. It's either through maybe a scent that people that having seizures have so they can smell
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them or they can notice them, but they can be trained to do things. Like if someone has a seizure
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coming on, purposely climb under them. So if they fall down, they land on the dog instead,
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they can be trained to go push the button to alert emergency. And so they can be trained as seizure
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dogs. Have you had problems with seizures in a while or is it, have they gone away?
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It's been a while. Every once in a while, I'll feel some remnants of it. But as far as like having a
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full grand mal seizure, it's been many years since I've had one. It feels like I've kind of outgrown
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them. And specifically in the last five years, since I've really changed things like my diet and my
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exercise, I think that played a huge role in that as well.
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Yeah. So the Vichla, it's a really handsome, beautiful dog. I mean, it looks like a bird dog.
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Are they energetic? Do they require a lot of exercise?
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Oh, yes, absolutely. He is, he's crazy energetic. I have taken him on some seriously long runs
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and a couple of backpacking trips where we climbed up to King's Peak, which is the highest peak in
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Utah. And he went all the way to the top with me and that's a 25 to 30 mile backpacking trip. And
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he does great. They are very, very active dogs. In fact, they even list them as like third or fourth
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fastest dogs in the world. So they're pretty fast as well.
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So let's talk about how Duder, you got Duder when you're 49. He started to subtly kickstart your
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midlife transformation. What happened when you first got him where you started making steps
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unintentionally to start making changes in your life?
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So here's how I like to tell the story. We bring Duder into my life. And of course,
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what do you do? You take your dog for a walk. So I remember one day taking Duder out for a walk,
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putting the leash on him. And we went out for this walk just the first time that we had him.
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And I like to tell the story that, oh, I'm out on this walk. And I had this
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grand vision of what my life should be. And, oh, I'm going to change this. And, oh,
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I'm going to improve my relationship. And, oh, I'm going to lose weight and all of this. But
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that's just not the way things happen. I think what happened was Duder went over to the next
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door neighbor and took a crap in his yard. And so I had to go clean up his poop. And then we come back.
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But what did happen, Brett, was that the next day we did it again. And then the next day we did it
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again. So this subtle thing of a new habit being part of my life, just going for this daily walk
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was key. And I wouldn't take the phone with me. It was just Duder and I going out for a walk,
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something different. And during this time is where I was able to really spend a lot of time with
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myself. Then I hit 50. Then I started looking at my regrets in life and started to really evaluate
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my life and where I was. But these moments do not happen when you're sitting on the couch watching
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TV. So it was key that we were outside physically moving, doing a daily walk. That's truly how it
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started right there. And it continues to this day. Yeah. That idea, there's an idea from,
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it goes back to like ancient Rome, solvitar ambulando, which is Latin for, it is solved by walking.
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A lot of problems can get solved by walking. In fact, a lot of philosophers,
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Nietzsche, Aristotle. I mean, Aristotle's school was, they were called parapetetics,
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like because they walked around everywhere discussing philosophy. Henry David Thoreau,
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they just, they'd walk. And as you're walking, something about it, it does, it changes your
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thinking. And it sounds like that's what you're doing. So a couple of things are going on. You're
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going on the walk because of Duder. He needs to go on a walk. So you have to go on a walk.
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You're getting physically active. And during that time, there's a transformation going on
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inside your head because you're thinking through a lot of issues.
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Absolutely. And this is going on for about a year. So from 50 to 51 is when we're really doing these
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daily walks. And there's three key things. In hindsight is great. Looking back, three very
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key things happened. One was awareness. I truly became aware of where my life was.
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It was not where I wanted it to be. Exploring my regrets. What was my environment like? What was I
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living my daily life like? What was my relationship with my kids, with the blonde, with my grandkids?
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So just being aware that things were not what I wanted them to be and they were not good.
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So the second thing I remember at some point along the way, making a choice that I needed to do
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something different. At the time, I did not know what to do. Not a clue. But making that choice and
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talking to Duder about this, saying, okay, Duder, we're going to do something different. And I made
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that conscious choice. And then I really started to explore my why. Why do I want to do this? Why do I
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need to change my life? So those three things were very critical. And this happened over about a year,
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from 50 to 51, of going for these daily walks. Well, I think that's interesting because I think
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a lot of guys, when they experience that midlife, you can call it crisis, like they recognize they're
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in a midlife funk, they expect the change to happen right away. And I think that's some very
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male, you know, you want to solve the problem and we want to solve it now. But something like this of
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like, what's my why? And what am I supposed to do now that I've raised my kids and they're out of the
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house and I'm getting towards the end of my career? You can't solve that in a week. It's going
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to take a year, maybe. Sometimes it might take more than a year. And I just continue to think
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about it as one step at a time. It truly is one step at a time. Well, you talk about, you would
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actually talk to Duder on these walks. Did you ever feel like, man, if someone saw me talking to a dog,
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they're going to think I'm a weirdo? Or did you just like lose all self-consciousness when you're out
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there taking a walk with your dog? No, I didn't care who was around or anything. It was just Duder
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and I, just the guy and his dog out walking. And I would absolutely talk to him. And there's a benefit
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to instead of talking to yourself just in your head, verbally speak those words out loud, get them
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out of your head. And I would talk to Duder. I would talk about how, what I was feeling, what was going on
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that day? I would ask him, Duder, what would you do about this? Okay, Duder, I'm thinking about doing
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this thing. What do you think about that? And I wouldn't have these conversations with him. And
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oh man, he's a great listener. He was awesome. Yeah. You talk about how Duder, you know, you
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attribute him to helping you break out of the negative self-talk. That was like a habit you slipped
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into in midlife. I think a lot of guys slip into that. So, well, I'm good for nothing. I haven't
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reached all the goals I wanted. I'm already 45. There's no way I can change. And you talk about
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talking to Duder helped you get rid of that negative self-talk. It did. Absolutely did.
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And then that translated over into, okay, I'm having these conversations with Duder. I should
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probably have some of these same conversations with my wife. I should probably have some of these
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same conversations with my kids. And that opened their eyes a little bit that, hey, wait a minute.
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Jeff is changing a little bit. I've never had this kind of a conversation with him before.
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So that they were watching me start to change my mindset. My mindset was changing here. I was
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thinking about things a little bit differently. And during that year, it really started to get me
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into a do phase. Okay. What can I start doing now? And there were a couple of things that really
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impacted this. The first one was I canceled my TV subscription. I mean, I had direct TV. I was
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watching sports every night. I was watching all kinds of stuff. And that was just the norm. Sit on
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a couch and watch TV every night. I canceled the TV subscription. And I just realized that there's
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not a whole lot of value in TV for me. Then I changed my inputs. So instead of watching TV, I started
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reading books. I started listening to podcasts. I discovered this cool podcast early on in my journey
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called The Art of Manliness. And I started listening to it. And there was some great content on there.
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And I subscribed, Brett, to your daily email newsletter. So your content still comes into my
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life on a daily basis. It's part of my inputs. Well, thank you so much. That means a lot.
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That idea of changing your inputs and bringing new things in here then just slowly started to
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impact other things. What am I eating? What am I thinking about on a daily basis? What's my sleep
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patterns? When should I wake up? I was essentially looking at ways to change my lifestyle. And so when I
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started just changing some of these lifestyle aspects, as a side effect, I lost 70 pounds. I was feeling
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better. My view of the world changed. It's almost like I didn't go into this to lose weight. I went
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into this to change my life and my lifestyle. And as a result, as a side effect, yeah, you're eating
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better. You're doing more. You're thinking better. And so as a side effect, I lost 70 pounds.
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I think there's a lot of that. You can see that sort of thing in a lot of life. Sometimes we set a goal
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to do X and we do things to do X, right? I want to do this thing to be happy. But doing those things
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actually doesn't make you happy because you actually become miserable because you're so focused on the
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task. It's like, if I don't do this thing right, then I'm not going to be happy. And that makes you
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unhappy. And what philosophers and psychologists have found is that you can't will yourself to be
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happy. Happiness is a side effect of doing good things. And it looks like that's what you
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discovered. Absolutely. Happiness is an interesting topic there. I think part of my happiness is just
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peacefulness. I can now look in the mirror and like who I see. Whereas in the past, when I looked in the
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mirror, I did not like that guy I was looking at. And that gives me some peace of mind, which then
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feels like happiness. We're going to take a quick break for your words from our sponsors.
00:20:44.800
And now back to the show. So you started with Duder taking the walks at age 50. For about a year,
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there's a lot of introspection, talking to Duder, sort of figuring things out what you want to do next.
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And then you started taking action. And one of those things you started doing besides changing your
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lifestyle, like sleeping better, changing your inputs, things like that, you actually started
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running. And not only like recreational, like 5K, you started doing marathons. So how did Duder
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help you get into running? Well, a couple of ways. I'm going to back up a little bit. As I was going
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through this, changing my lifestyle, talking to Duder, I began looking for lessons, life lessons,
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I call them. Let's, let's look for things. So I was watching Duder's behaviors and learning things
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from them. And there's a couple of lessons that I learned. One of them was that I would take Duder
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out for a walk and we would actually hop in the truck and we'd head over to a trail. So we started
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going out on the trails. And when we'd start hiking, I would have to have him on a leash. At some point
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there was, you know, nobody around. So I would take him off the leash and I'd unhook the leash
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and Duder would just take off running as fast as he could go. And it was fun to watch. And then I
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would just observe that. And I got thinking to myself, okay, 50 years, what are the leashes I had
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on myself? What's holding me back from doing some of these things that I wanted to do? And I really
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started to explore that. You have 50 years of people telling you what you cannot do. 50 years
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of TV telling you what you cannot do. And these felt like these leashes. So I started to take,
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take them off in my mind. Okay. What can I do? Then I remembered distinctly one day we're out for a
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hike and I just started running for whatever reason. I don't even know why I just started running.
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I'm thinking, okay, well I'm, I'm walking. I've kind of mastered this walking thing. I've lost a
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lot of my weight. My lifestyle's changed here. Let's just run a little bit. And I remember running
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for maybe a hundred, 200 yards before I ran out of breath. That's how it started. Just that 200
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yard run. And it, it kind of planted this seed in me that, okay, this is kind of cool. Well, how,
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how far can I go with this? But the walking and the daily walk, which now turned into daily runs
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just became so symbolic for me of everything else that I wanted to do. So I'm thinking, okay,
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if I can run 200 yards, then can I run a mile? And I remember running two miles. That was one of the
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hardest things I did was to run two miles without stopping. But it felt good that I was accomplishing
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things. And then it opened my mind up. What else can I do? Maybe I could write a book. You know,
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that's kind of how the book got started. If you would have talked to Brett, if you would have
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talked to 49 year old me and said, Hey, uh, in five years, you're going to publish a book,
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you're going to run marathons and you're going to be on podcasts. You know, that 49 year old would
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have said, what are you talking about? There's no way that's going to happen. So that's how the
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running started. And then it became so symbolic. I signed up for a half marathon and I ran a half
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marathon and I signed up for another one and I just kept running these half marathons.
00:24:11.800
And then I guess thinking, okay, what else can I do? And so then I said, well, maybe I could run a
00:24:16.660
marathon. So I signed up for a marathon and I've run, you know, six or seven marathons so far.
00:24:20.920
And well, okay, I've done that. What else can I do? So I've signed up for a couple of ultra marathons.
00:24:27.740
I've done a 55 K and a 60 K and these are both trail races. And actually in eight days, Brett,
00:24:34.020
I am running a 50 miler, 50 mile trail race with about 11,000 feet of vertical climb that's coming
00:24:40.560
up in eight days. So that's how my running journey started and started with that a hundred, a hundred
00:24:46.380
yards. And now I'm doing a 50 mile trail race. 50 miles. Okay. And that's in just, you started this
00:24:52.480
when you were 51 and how old are you now? I am 55. 50. So in four years. Yep. That's not that long.
00:25:00.100
Like in the grand scheme of things, if you think about it, cause I think sometimes when we think
00:25:03.720
about change, we think, oh man, a year is so long. I need change now. But I mean, you, you've done a
00:25:10.960
lot in that four years when you decided I'm going to start making my life better.
00:25:16.480
Well, thanks. It feels like that. And I also feel like I'm just getting started. It's almost like,
00:25:23.900
okay. The first 50 years of my life was just a test. It was a little trial, but here I am now,
00:25:31.540
a new person feeling very different about life, very hopeful. How far can I go with this? And I'm
00:25:39.680
just going to keep going. I am just cruising right now. That's what it feels like.
00:25:44.260
So you mentioned that Duder pretty much helped save your marriage because before you got him,
00:25:50.460
your wife was thinking about divorcing you, what changed in your marriage after you got Duder?
00:25:56.020
Well, one was just awareness, right? So it starts with that awareness. And that was one of the things
00:26:00.860
that when you start thinking about your regrets, your regrets with your wife or your partner can be
00:26:09.440
very traumatic. And they were for me. I had a lot of regrets of how I treated her and some of the
00:26:18.420
things in my past and all of that. So just being aware that of, okay, what's going on here?
00:26:26.520
One of the first podcasts, I think the very first episode of a podcast that I listened to,
00:26:32.480
I didn't even know what a podcast was before all this started, was Jocko Willink. And then I ended up
00:26:38.420
reading his book, Extreme Ownership. And it really hammered it home to me, this idea of self-ownership.
00:26:45.060
So when I started looking at my relationship with the blonde, I really had to focus on my role.
00:26:52.220
What am I doing? What should I be doing? How should I do things differently to make this
00:26:59.580
relationship better? So I had to own my side of it. And just walking with Duder and talking to Duder
00:27:06.140
about this just became very beneficial for me so that then I could come back and have those
00:27:11.580
conversations with the blonde as well. One thing I've seen or I've heard other podcast guests talk
00:27:18.040
about when it comes to relationships, one thing that a lot of, I'm not, I can't get to speaking
00:27:24.000
generalities here, but what a lot of women are looking for in their husband, they don't necessarily
00:27:29.540
care that, you know, that if he's a millionaire or he's got six pack abs or whatever, they just want
00:27:35.340
to see their husband have some sort of ambition or drive to, to do something right. And, and not
00:27:42.800
wallow in the self-pity and I can't change. Like that's not attractive. Women are looking for a guy
00:27:49.400
who's hopeful and say, Hey, we're going to make the best of what we got here. And it sounds like
00:27:54.660
Duder, Duder helped you do that. Oh, absolutely. And it was subtle, but she started to see the
00:28:02.680
changes in me in the way that I would talk to her in my actions, having heart to heart conversations
00:28:09.780
with her about what I was feeling that day and what my dreams were. And here's what I'm aspiring to do.
00:28:17.280
And that really helped her. And so she, at some point decided not to divorce me because she was
00:28:24.860
ready to divorce me because I was that guy you just described Brett with no, no dreams, just sitting
00:28:30.700
on a couch every night. So how did Duder help you become a better dad? Well, the, the, the same kind
00:28:36.840
of a thing is that I had regrets about my kids. They were all out of the house and looking back when
00:28:44.620
you're 50, what kind of a dad was I? Did I teach them everything that they needed to know? Was I a
00:28:50.600
good example for them? All of those regrets were top of mind. So at the same time, when I made the
00:28:56.940
choice to repair and work on the relationship with my wife, I wanted to work on the relationship with
00:29:04.660
my kids. And there was a couple of things that really hit home with me is this idea of what is my
00:29:12.320
legacy? What is my legacy going to be with my kids? How do I want my kids to remember me?
00:29:21.280
And that was very powerful for me. And there's always two ways to maybe react to that feeling.
00:29:29.200
One might be, okay, well, I'm going to go have conversations with my kids and I'm going to tell
00:29:34.160
them what life should be and they're going to learn from me. But what I realized is what they're going to
00:29:38.860
remember from me most is not what I say. They're going to remember what I do. So I want my kids to
00:29:45.640
see me changing my life, losing weight, getting off of the couch, running marathons, and incorporating
00:29:53.160
all of these ideas in my head. And I'm hoping that that's going to be my legacy with my kids is they're
00:29:59.060
seeing me do these things and hopefully it's inspiring them. So the legacy part of it was very,
00:30:05.160
very powerful. Well, and it sounds like that's already happening. You talk about one of your
00:30:09.520
daughters started running because of you. She did. She's run several half marathons. She completed
00:30:17.180
actually in the Marine Corps marathons. She set a goal in her life to run 50 half marathons in all 50
00:30:24.500
states. So I've had an impact just by her watching me change my life and start doing these things.
00:30:31.400
And she's, you know, trying to do some things in her life as well. So that means a lot to me that
00:30:37.940
that goes a long way. And then also my kids, I also want, I have four grandkids. How do I want my
00:30:46.060
grandkids to remember me? And a lot of them are still young little kids, but I want them to have
00:30:50.920
a memory of, of grandpa doing things. That's, that's what I want my legacy to be.
00:30:56.940
Yeah. Not the old grandpa who's just sits on the couch, not doing anything.
00:31:02.580
Was there a moment in this transformation? So we were four years into this transformation. Was
00:31:07.860
there a moment when you realized like I I've changed because again, the changes it's subtle,
00:31:14.560
it's gradual. And everyone has that moment where you realize, man, I'm different. Was there a specific
00:31:19.320
moment in this four years where you realize that I've gotten out of this slump?
00:31:24.480
There's, there's probably a couple. One is the physical side of it. After I lost 70 pounds,
00:31:29.100
that was a moment. Okay. I have changed myself. I look very different. I feel very different. So
00:31:36.060
that was a moment of, yes, I, I have made a transformation, but even more important than that
00:31:42.660
was just what was going on in my head. I had a very different view of the world. And maybe I can
00:31:50.660
tell another story from the book. At one point, Duder and I are out walking on a trail and this
00:31:57.100
trail had a bunch of grass along it, some trees. And I realized that I'm standing way up here,
00:32:03.800
walking and Duder's way down here on the trail. And I literally got down on the trail and started
00:32:09.600
crawling because I wanted to see what the trail looked like from Duder's perspective. And it was
00:32:14.780
very different down there. And what I realized in the lesson from that is that what was my view of
00:32:20.680
the world? When I looked at life in general, when I looked at the people around me, when I looked at
00:32:27.600
what my job was, what was my perspective? Was it one of just pure negative or was it one of positive?
00:32:35.280
So I really had to change my view of things. And so there was a moment where a typical event would
00:32:44.380
happen in my life. And in the past I would react very negatively, get angry. And I realized that
00:32:51.060
that didn't happen to me anymore. The same event could happen to me and I could just kind of smile
00:32:56.920
and shrug it off. It wouldn't affect me the same. So that was another one of those moments that,
00:33:01.140
okay, I kind of have gone through a transformation. My mind is thinking differently.
00:33:07.520
Do you sometimes struggle with sliding back into old habits and mindsets or does Duder help keep
00:33:12.480
you on track? I don't think you ever reach a point where you have transformed and everything's good
00:33:20.580
and you don't have to work at it anymore. Old habits, old mindsets, yeah, they're always there
00:33:27.400
and they try to creep back. So my book is called Dude and Duder. So the new guy is dude. Dude's the
00:33:34.340
guy that's doing all of this work. And the old guy is this guy named Jeff. And so sometimes Jeff
00:33:39.720
tries to creep back in there. Typically it's when something stressful happens and there's some anxiety
00:33:45.820
going on. And then the old habits just kind of come back in. You want to get back into your comfort
00:33:51.940
zone. I, I, I don't even like to talk about it as a struggle to keep going. It's just a daily
00:33:59.480
challenge. And I've embraced this idea of every day should be a challenge. Challenge is what keeps
00:34:06.740
me going. That's why I go for a run every day because it's challenging and I love to do it. And I,
00:34:12.840
I've kind of developed this growth mindset of continually challenging myself daily to continue to learn,
00:34:22.240
grow and change. I'm never going to reach an end of this transformation. I don't think there's a
00:34:28.060
stopping point. You have to, you know, life is about the journey, the old adage there. It truly is.
00:34:34.360
And I've embraced that. I see the end of a race all the time and I cross the finish line,
00:34:39.040
but I'm not done because there's always another race. Let's say there's a guy listening to this.
00:34:43.580
He's in midlife. He's thought about getting a dog every time, you know, he'll see a family with a dog.
00:34:49.280
That would be nice. But then he's like, well, I don't want to do that. What would you tell this
00:34:53.360
guy? Get one. Absolutely get a dog. Brett, do you have any dogs? I don't have a dog and our kids
00:35:02.400
have been bugging us to get one, but I, we haven't pulled the trigger on it. Well, yeah, no, you,
00:35:08.420
this, it makes me every time I read, when I read your book and I saw pictures of dude, I was like,
00:35:12.560
that'd be really nice to get a dog. I'm really allergic to dogs. I actually got really close
00:35:16.820
to pulling the trigger on it a few Christmases ago. And I said, let me, cause whenever I'm around
00:35:22.780
certain breeds of dogs, I get really sneezy eyes, red watery. So I got an allergy test and I was
00:35:28.380
really allergic to dogs. So I'm still open to it. Even though you're allergic, even though I'm
00:35:36.040
allergic, that's good. But yes, I would recommend getting a dog and if for nothing else, take them
00:35:42.120
for a daily walk, get yourself out there and go for a walk. So I specifically got a Vichla and I
00:35:50.520
described that story, why we did that. And so there are different trends and different breeds out there
00:35:56.920
and you can research which type of breed would be best for, for you, where you live and so forth.
00:36:02.880
One of my daughters has two dogs and they're both sheltered dogs. So I would also can have you,
00:36:09.000
have you look at, at sheltered dogs. There are a lot of dogs out there that do not have homes and
00:36:13.980
they're looking for homes. And these are typically mutts, not, not pure breeds, but man, they still
00:36:19.520
can make good dogs. So yes, get a dog. Everyone should have a dog. And it could help you make that
00:36:26.600
midlife transformation like Duder did for you. Absolutely could. Well, Jeff, this has been a great
00:36:31.380
conversation. Where can people go to learn more about your book and more importantly, Duder?
00:36:36.560
I'm out on social media and probably the best way to find us is at our website, dudeandduder.com.
00:36:43.940
And we have a Duder's Challenge weekly email. So if you want to sign up for Duder's Challenge,
00:36:50.860
he'll send you a weekly email with a challenge of what you can do that week.
00:36:54.740
I love it. And then follow us on social media. Yep.
00:36:57.580
Duder and Duder. Yeah. When you sent me the book, you had Duder's paw print in there,
00:37:01.140
which I appreciate. So glad he's there. He's a star. He's a social media celebrity. You guys got
00:37:06.940
quite a following and he's pretty dapper. You got a picture of him like in a bow tie. So it's a great.
00:37:14.980
Fantastic. Well, Jeff Goodrich, thanks for time. It's been a pleasure.
00:37:19.580
My guest today was Jeff Goodrich. He's the author of the book Dude and Duder. It's available on
00:37:23.480
amazon.com. You can find more information about his work at his website, dudeandduder.com.
00:37:28.540
Also check out our show notes at aom.is slash dog. We find links to resources. We delve deeper into
00:37:33.420
this topic. Well, that wraps up another edition of the AOM podcast. Make sure to check out our
00:37:45.320
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00:37:50.420
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00:37:52.780
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00:38:08.440
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00:38:13.020
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00:38:36.300
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00:38:40.240
We call them agons. It's a Greek for challenge or competition. The agons are designed to push
00:38:45.280
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00:38:49.220
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00:38:53.040
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00:38:57.300
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00:39:01.440
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00:39:05.000
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00:39:08.720
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00:39:13.560
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00:39:17.460
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00:39:23.520
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00:39:27.700
They're working on badges. They're doing meetups. So check it out. Our next enrollment for the
00:39:31.980
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00:39:38.520
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00:39:43.140
this January. I hope to see you there. Check it out, strenuouslife.co. And until next time,
00:39:48.860
this is Brett McKay reminding you to not only listen to A1 Podcast, but put what you've heard