The Art of Manliness - July 31, 2025


Episode #17: The Code of Chivalry With Scott Farrell


Episode Stats

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

Scott Farrell, Director of Chivalry Today, discusses the history, literature, and philosophy of the code of chivalry, and how modern men and women can use chivalry to influence business, politics, love, and relationships.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hello, Brett here. Before we get to today's show, got a quick favor to ask of you. If you've been
00:00:03.880 enjoying the Art of Manliness podcast, I'd really appreciate it if you take one minute to give us a
00:00:07.780 review on iTunes or Stitcher. It helps us out a lot. And if you've done that already, thank you
00:00:11.720 so much. Please consider sharing the show with a friend or family member who you think would get
00:00:15.240 something out of it. Word of mouth is the primary way the Art of Manliness grows and spreads. So
00:00:19.440 please share. Text a friend, send an email, do whatever, however you communicate. Tell them to
00:00:23.760 check out a particular episode if you think they'd get something out of it. Thank you for
00:00:26.200 your support and now on to the show. Brett McKay here and welcome to another episode of the Art of
00:00:47.420 Manliness podcast. Now at the Art of Manliness, we talk a lot about the importance of being a
00:00:53.100 gentleman. And one aspect of that means being a chivalrous man. But for most of us living in the
00:00:58.720 21st century, being chivalrous means opening the door for a lady. And that's probably about it.
00:01:04.700 What else does chivalry mean? And what's its history in relation to manliness? Well, our guest
00:01:09.160 today will help us answer those questions. His name is Scott Farrell, and he's the director of
00:01:13.920 Chivalry Today. Chivalry Today explores the history, literature, and philosophy of the Code of
00:01:18.880 Chivalry and shows how modern men and women can use chivalry to influence business,
00:01:22.780 politics, love, and relationships. Scott has written several articles and has contributed
00:01:28.260 to several books on the subject of chivalry and the legend of King Arthur. In addition to writing
00:01:33.800 about chivalry, Scott provides presentations on the history and the modern application of the Code
00:01:38.460 of Chivalry to businesses, schools, and couples. And you can find out more info about Scott's work at
00:01:44.420 chivalrytoday.com. Scott, welcome to the show. Thank you, Brett. Great to be here. Well,
00:01:50.180 thanks for taking time to speak to us today. So, Scott, to start off, what exactly is chivalry? I
00:01:55.580 mean, is it just opening doors for ladies or standing up when they walk into a room, or is
00:02:00.560 there something more to it? Well, you've hit on exactly what our perception of chivalry is,
00:02:05.920 which is sort of that heightened and possibly even a little bit absurd sense of manners. But to really
00:02:12.060 understand the full breadth of chivalry, we need to go back several hundred years and understand that
00:02:18.540 chivalry back in the Middle Ages was a warrior's code of honor, not unlike the code of Bushido that
00:02:25.280 many people are familiar with from Japanese culture and the code of the samurai. The code of
00:02:31.740 chivalry was very much the same sort of thing for the knights, the warrior class of medieval Europe.
00:02:38.020 And it was sort of an understanding that with their elevated sense in the society of the time
00:02:46.800 and their abilities as warriors, as heavily armed and elite warriors, along with that came a greater
00:02:53.340 responsibility to conduct themselves with a sense of restraint and courtesy and awareness of their
00:03:01.120 abilities. And so, really, that is where we get the complete sense of chivalry as a warrior's code of
00:03:09.460 honor in, and really more of what we would almost call today as a fully rounded code of ethics, is really
00:03:15.940 what the code of chivalry is.
00:03:18.440 And so you mentioned that, you know, we all know chivalry kind of got its start with the Middle Ages,
00:03:22.640 because I think we often associate it with knights and slaying dragons and things. But this is a time of,
00:03:28.320 you know, moral and intellectual darkness. And you said that chivalry, code of chivalry kind of came up to
00:03:33.840 provide a code of ethics to the warrior class. But it seemed like a really heightened code of
00:03:40.400 ethics for the time. I mean, was, did the code of chivalry develop in reaction to the, I guess,
00:03:45.300 the moral, just darkness that was facing the land, the world in that time? Or was it something else?
00:03:51.560 The Middle Ages was not quite, you know, really as dark as it's sometimes portrayed. But it was very
00:03:58.980 much an era of kind of individualism, of the, with the, you know, not to get too much into a history
00:04:06.240 lesson here, but with this, with the, with the overall structure of a greater civilization, the
00:04:11.720 Roman Empire kind of gone, it was sort of left to, you know, in some way, everybody kind of was on
00:04:16.600 their own. And, you know, for a while, things looked pretty grim. But what evolved was sort of a
00:04:23.820 sense that, you know, in a vacuum of any other sort of greater authority, everybody needs to be
00:04:30.340 responsible for themselves and do their part to make society a safe, a stable, a pleasant place
00:04:38.000 to be. And that was the role that the warrior, the knight, was kind of cast into. And so in that
00:04:45.040 way, yes, it was sort of, chivalry was sort of a reaction to the society and the social
00:04:51.520 expectations or lack thereof at the time. And so it is kind of, that is kind of where we get that
00:04:58.780 sort of hardy individualist sense of the code of chivalry, you know, and, you know, at its heart,
00:05:05.800 that is, you know, almost like it is what the Boy Scout code is drawn from. Be prepared. Be prepared
00:05:12.380 for anything. Be ready to do anything that you're called upon to do. And, yeah, that is very much
00:05:19.020 kind of in that, in response to that, that sense of what the world was like in the Middle Ages.
00:05:25.980 Now, going a little bit more about the history of chivalry, can you explain the transformation
00:05:30.920 of chivalry?
00:05:32.420 Sure, yeah. And, you know, yeah, even just talking a little bit about this history here, you really
00:05:38.040 can kind of get a sense of just how much is behind that very kind of simplistic concept of chivalry.
00:05:45.280 I mean, we're talking about a concept that has evolved and developed with society over the course
00:05:52.240 of six or seven hundred years, or even a little bit more, depending on what your definition of
00:05:56.900 the Middle Ages is. But chivalry in the medieval sense, again, was started as kind of a warrior's
00:06:05.240 code of honor. It emphasized the knight's role as a protector initially, as a protector of the church,
00:06:13.700 the church who was going around doing charitable works, trying to save people's souls. And the knight
00:06:20.620 was the protector of the clerics and the church and the people who worshiped in the church. And
00:06:26.440 therefore, the knight then kind of became, by default, a protector of all those who were weak,
00:06:32.780 who needed help, who were, you know, in harm's way, in danger. And so from that medieval sense
00:06:40.540 of the knight's duties, again, we get that sense that chivalry is the code of somebody who helps
00:06:48.500 people in need, who goes out of his way, even maybe goes into harm's way, to help others. And
00:06:54.520 from that, it became something of a military and a political sense. And the code of chivalry became,
00:07:03.820 throughout the later periods, became more of what we think of as the law of arms, a military code
00:07:11.020 that encompasses things as simple, but as foundational of the fact that, like, for example,
00:07:17.740 you don't shoot at someone who's waving a white flag of truce. You know, we think about,
00:07:23.580 we think, we still think of that sort of thing in conjunction with our military and even,
00:07:28.680 in some ways, political standards today. And then, of course, you know, throughout the Victorian
00:07:34.960 and even in the early 20th century, chivalry, as society again continued to change, chivalry
00:07:43.080 kind of became that, you know, as your listeners are probably aware, that kind of gentlemanly art,
00:07:49.600 that sense of the art of being a gentleman that would once have been expected of the rich,
00:07:57.540 and aristocratic status of gentleman kind of became filtered down to everyone, to every
00:08:08.160 gentleman as, you know, that we are kind of became born equal. That sense of gentlemanly behavior,
00:08:16.820 that sense of courtesy, gallantry, nobility, kind of became part of middle-class life, and everyone
00:08:24.540 was expected to be a gentleman. So that's kind of the progress of chivalry from, you know,
00:08:30.120 the Middle Ages and even right up until today.
00:08:32.840 Now, going back to the Middle Ages, you talk about it was the code of the warrior class.
00:08:38.720 How did someone become a part of the warrior class, and how were they taught this code of chivalry?
00:08:43.080 I mean, they get like, they had to go to school and like, you know, sit with their scroll or whatever
00:08:47.340 they used back then and like read. I mean, how was this passed on to them?
00:08:50.700 Yeah, well, and again, this is a subject that we could, you know, do a lengthy lecture on right
00:08:57.640 here. But by and large, in the Middle Ages, as you kind of mentioned, you know, there was not a
00:09:04.600 time of great literacy. Most people could read and write probably a small amount, but most learning
00:09:13.260 was done, especially of the warrior class, as literally just a one-on-one kind of understanding.
00:09:19.720 From some of the writings of the Middle Ages, we can see that there were knights in the period
00:09:25.400 who wrote their thoughts about what chivalry was, what it was to be a noble and honorable
00:09:30.400 warrior. And, you know, they took this very seriously. This is a very sincere part of their
00:09:37.260 lives that they were writing about. But, you know, much like being kind of a big brother or a mentor
00:09:43.440 today, this was something that was passed on in the one-on-one from generation to generation.
00:09:49.820 It was something that was learned very much by example. There was, you know, very much an
00:09:55.120 understanding of, you know, you've got to practice what you preach. You've got to put your money where
00:09:59.840 your mouth is. That learning a code of honor isn't something that you can say, you know, be nice and
00:10:05.420 honorable and then go around and do things that are corrupt and unethical. You've got to live by
00:10:10.120 your standards in order to, you know, in order to really make that a strong part of a society.
00:10:16.180 And that's exactly how these things were, how these ideals were taught in the Middle Ages.
00:10:21.260 You know, and we can still see today that, you know, that really is the strongest way of teaching
00:10:25.840 someone, of bringing someone up and kind of instilling good ideals in the next generation.
00:10:32.400 And we talk about, you know, the code of chivalry. And a lot of times when I hear the word code,
00:10:37.740 I'm a law student or law grad, and I hear code, and I think enumerated things. Is there like an
00:10:45.800 enumerated list of what makes up the code of chivalry? Are there certain values or virtues that,
00:10:50.400 you know, a chivalrous man was supposed to live by?
00:10:53.860 Yeah, that's a really interesting thing, because there is no, as you say, in kind of a legal sense,
00:11:00.980 there's no uniform code of chivalry. There's nothing that you can go to and say,
00:11:04.480 well, on page 298, you know, subsection one, paragraph eight of the code of chivalry, it says
00:11:09.100 this. The code of chivalry was interpreted differently by every knight in the Middle Ages. And again,
00:11:18.920 even through some of the writings that we can see from these knights of 14th, 15th, 16th centuries,
00:11:25.660 we can see that every one of them has a little bit of a different take on what it means to be
00:11:30.580 an honorable warrior, or what it means to be a good servant of a lord or a king, of what it means to be
00:11:38.260 a protector of the weak. But there are some themes that emerge throughout all of those individual
00:11:44.220 interpretations. And there's an awareness of, for example, an appreciation of what they would have
00:11:51.000 called prowess. Probably that's really the highest standard of what you might think of as a code of
00:11:57.040 chivalry, which is simply an appreciation of people who take the time and effort to do what it takes to
00:12:05.580 be their best at whatever it is they're doing, whether it's in battle, whether it's in tournament,
00:12:10.960 whether it's as a spiritual, you know, religious aspect of their lives, whatever it is to always
00:12:20.380 strive to be their best. That was really a mark of respect among those people who write about
00:12:26.660 chivalry, with that respect for that sense of prowess. Other ideals, you know, again, kind of
00:12:33.700 come through as universal themes, loyalty, to be loyal, to stand by your word and do what you said
00:12:41.840 you were going to do, but also to have, you know, a sense of compassion, a sense of prudence, of being
00:12:51.060 a, you know, a shrewd and wise judge of what needs to be done in a given situation. So that, you know,
00:12:56.760 there was an awareness also that, you know, blind loyalty doesn't necessarily make someone a good
00:13:02.120 person. So these are the kind of state themes that come through that we can see that kind of make up
00:13:09.080 that general, that kind of nebulous concept of chivalry and honor.
00:13:13.340 Hmm. Very interesting. Now, Scott, this is a, I guess, a statement we hear a lot in these modern
00:13:20.900 times, but, you know, that chivalry is dead. Is that the case? Is chivalry dead? Or if it is dead,
00:13:27.420 can it be revived?
00:13:29.680 Yeah, if it's dead, is it on life support?
00:13:31.920 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:32.660 Right. Well, you know, I think what we're talking about here really kind of lends a different
00:13:38.320 perspective, even to that question, because, you know, you think about how long this concept
00:13:43.160 of chivalry has been around since, you know, the 10th or 11th century. And I think it's
00:13:47.840 silly to think that something that's been around for, you know, the better part of a millennium
00:13:52.500 could be dead. But it's a little bit like saying, you know, to look around and see the kind of
00:13:58.800 things that are going on in the world today and say, well, government is dead. Well, I think chivalry
00:14:05.200 maybe the perception is that it's dead if you look for the ideals, the presentations of chivalry
00:14:11.920 from another generation in the world today, it's easy to think that maybe chivalry is
00:14:17.780 dead. And, you know, a good example that I try to give, one that you mentioned in the
00:14:22.200 opening there, is one of the concepts of chivalry as a gentlemanly guide is that a gentleman always
00:14:28.960 stands when a lady enters the room. Well, back in the day when most people sat around their
00:14:34.660 parlors in the evening and had, you know, had a conversation in a quiet smoking room or something
00:14:41.920 that sort of thing certainly was a good demonstration of good manners and good etiquette.
00:14:48.260 But imagine today in a crowded coffee shop or a busy restaurant trying to stand every time a woman
00:14:53.620 enters the room. It's just not practical and it's not the sort of thing that would be expected today.
00:15:01.360 But that doesn't mean that that underlying sense of respect and courtesy is dead. There are just
00:15:07.360 different ways of showing it. You know, for example, you know, back in the day, they didn't
00:15:12.700 have online electronic communications so that we can bring that sense of respectfulness to a new
00:15:21.240 venue of our life by understanding and looking for ways that we can express courtesy, respect, kindness,
00:15:27.380 compassion in online transactions and how we interact with people in chat rooms and email and that kind
00:15:33.440 of thing. So I think that chivalry isn't dead. We just have to continue to look for it and its spirit
00:15:39.780 in what we do in our modern world to understand how it still affects us and how crucial its need really
00:15:47.300 is in those sorts of applications. Well, this is a perfect segue to my next question. What are some
00:15:52.780 things that today's modern man can do to implement the Code of Chivalry? Well, I think first and most
00:16:00.320 important, you really have to kind of look within yourself, understand that no sense of whatever
00:16:08.420 you want to call it, chivalry, honor, ethics, integrity, no sense of that can be conveyed by a
00:16:15.360 simple checklist of rules that you have to follow. What you have to look for in your everyday dealings
00:16:23.840 is how can I express that? What can I do today in any given situation to show respect for someone,
00:16:31.580 to demonstrate courtesy for the people that I'm going to come in contact with, to make life a
00:16:36.040 little better for the people in the world around me? And once you start looking at the world like
00:16:42.220 that, you start to see things that you can do to express that sense of chivalry in a very modern and
00:16:49.560 contemporary way without having to be old-fashioned or stodgy or absurd. You know, one of the ways I
00:16:58.120 think we can see that sort of thing, you know, again, is in the workplace to show respect and
00:17:06.040 courtesy for your co-workers, your clients, customers, that sort of thing, standing up on it when you meet
00:17:14.420 someone, you know, exchanging pleasant greetings. That's not anything that necessarily is, you know,
00:17:21.780 biased by gender, or it's not sexist, but it is a way that you can express that sort of respectful,
00:17:28.940 dignified behavior in a modern sense. And one of the things that I always try to tell people to keep in
00:17:38.100 mind is that, you know, those little courtesies, the kind of things that we're talking about,
00:17:43.300 opening a door for a lady, tipping your hat, standing up for when someone enters the room,
00:17:48.260 all of those, the intent behind that is not so much to show some sort of deference or
00:17:55.580 old-fashioned manners. It's a way of breaking out of our mentality of thinking only about what affects
00:18:03.720 me and thinking about what can I do to help someone in the world around me? What can I do to show
00:18:09.160 courtesy to someone around me? And so those little acts of courtesy, whether it's letting someone
00:18:14.780 merge ahead of you on the freeway, or standing up when someone enters your office, or always making
00:18:20.020 sure that you greet your children, your wife at the end of the day, all of those things are the first
00:18:25.560 step towards being aware of what larger changes need to be made in the world, the sort of things that
00:18:32.480 call on us to stand up for our beliefs, to do the right thing, to protect someone who is in need.
00:18:39.560 All of those are the first steps in being aware and seeing those greater things that can be done
00:18:44.700 to express a much larger sense of chivalry and a code of honor in a broader context of the world.
00:18:50.880 Very interesting. Now, Scott, a criticism that's, I guess, leveled at chivalry, a modern one at least,
00:18:58.820 is that it's sexist, or that it implies weakness in the female sex. How would you respond to that
00:19:04.280 criticism, and do you even think modern women want to be treated with, I guess, the traditional
00:19:09.940 idea of what chivalry is?
00:19:11.860 Sure, sure, yeah. And I think it's a statement, really, that in many ways we kind of don't
00:19:20.800 understand the historical society, the historical context that these sort of things come from.
00:19:29.720 Women have never had a passive place in the concept of chivalry, but the fact of the matter is that
00:19:38.820 in the Middle Ages, and even up until fairly recently in history, society wasn't really a place where
00:19:45.800 any kind of equal roles of men and women could really be expressed. It was a world powered by
00:19:52.680 muscle and brute force. And up until the modern, up until the luxuries of the modern day,
00:19:59.640 we didn't really have the capability of men and women doing the same kinds of jobs.
00:20:05.240 But chivalry gave women a great deal of authority, of prestige, of influence in that medieval world.
00:20:16.840 They were the arbiters of chivalry. It was their job to make sure that the knights who were in the
00:20:25.540 world around them didn't descend into selfishness, into egotism, into brutality and corruption.
00:20:33.420 And so they played a very important but very different part in the code of chivalry in that
00:20:40.140 historical sense. In a modern context where we do, in fact, have a world where at least we're coming
00:20:48.000 much closer to real gender equality and equal treatment in society, I think that women can have
00:20:58.160 just as much of a part of this aspect and the presentation of chivalry as any man. I mean,
00:21:04.380 we expect women to be honorable, to be ethical, to be courteous and respectful. And I think that's
00:21:12.800 great. I think it's great that women can, in fact, take as much of an active and present role in the
00:21:21.680 expression of chivalry in today's world that they never have before. So, you know, I think that
00:21:28.360 there's nothing about chivalry, about that sense of honor and respect that is inherently male. In
00:21:34.780 today's world, I think that a woman can, and frankly should, be every bit as chivalrous as a man should
00:21:40.580 be. Very interesting. Well, Scott, thank you for your time. It's been a pleasure.
00:21:45.200 Great to be here, Brett. Thanks. And I sure hope your listeners enjoy learning a little bit more about
00:21:50.460 Dakota Chivalry. Our guest today was Scott Farrell. Scott is the director of Chivalry Today, and you can
00:21:57.140 find out more information about Scott's work at chivalrytoday.com.
00:22:05.580 That wraps up another edition of the Art of Manliness podcast. For more manly tips and advice,
00:22:11.280 make sure to check out the Art of Manliness website at artofmanliness.com. And until next week, stay manly.
00:22:20.460 .
00:22:22.100 .
00:22:22.180 .
00:22:25.680 .
00:22:31.740 .
00:22:35.460 .
00:22:35.760 .
00:22:39.860 .
00:22:40.020 .
00:22:41.600 .
00:22:42.120 .
00:22:43.540 .
00:22:44.100 .
00:22:45.120 .
00:22:45.240 .
00:22:46.120 .