Episode #7： Rules for My Unborn Son with Walker Lamond
Episode Stats
Summary
Our guest today has recently published a book with rules that he hopes his son will follow in order to become a well-rounded gentleman. His name is Walker Lamond and he is the author of the book, Rules for My Unborn Son.
Transcript
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brett mckay here and welcome to another episode of the art of manliness podcast now if you made
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a rule book on life for your son what sort of rules would you include in it well our guest
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today has recently published a book with rules that he hopes his son will follow in order to
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become a well-rounded gentleman his name is walker lamond and he's the author of the book
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rules for my unborn son walker's a writer and television producer and lives in washington dc
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with his wife and their newborn son who is actually born shortly after he finished his book
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rules for my unborn son walker welcome to the show thanks for having me brett all right walker
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well first off congratulations on the book and congratulations on becoming a dad thanks i
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appreciate it if we can just get him turned into a man we'll be in good shape there you go all right
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so walker what inspired you to start this project because from what i understand you actually
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started this before your son was even a twinkle in your eye yeah it was it was really years ago i i
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mean the the whole project started um back in new york as a single guy it was a kind of a back of a
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bar napkin type of thing where i just wanted to start keeping track of all the things that my old
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man had taught me growing up because i didn't want to forget it so even long before i was married long
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before i had a kid um i just knew what kind of son i wanted to have so i thought well let's write it
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all down now because i know that when actual fatherhood comes there's a good chance i would
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end up too exhausted or or too overwhelmed to remember all the things that i'm always meant to
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teach him so i said hey let's just write it down in a book and i can just give it to him yeah and so
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you started actually started off as a blog right yeah absolutely that was when i when i got a good
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number of these things going i said you know let's let's i want to share these with some friends
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and family and uh and luckily for me you know the tumblr blogging platform had just kind of come out
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and and it was so easy that even a guy like me could figure it out so i started throwing them up on
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the web i really liked the way they had these really nice design templates and and i really just did
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it for a gas but you know the internet's a funny place it's it was like doing stand-up comedy you
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know before i knew it like a few people were laughing a few more people reading and uh and
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it turned into this this everyday thing where i was getting more and more readers and and it just
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kind of encouraged me to keep keep adding and is this how you uh the your book publisher found you
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was through your blog yeah i mean lucky me you know no i didn't have to write any query letters or
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any of that stuff that you had to do in the old days uh old days meaning probably like three years
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ago um you know before i knew it there were enough readers on there that it was getting passed to the
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type of people that are in charge of making books so uh you know an agent contacted me and a couple
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weeks later we were pitching publishers and it was all it was all done before i really knew what hit me
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so uh walker what are some of your favorite rules from the book there's so many you know i've got lots
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the rules about uh how to dress like a man how to how to act on a date but uh you know if i was just
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to flip open the book at any point you know here's one on a road trip offer to buy the first tank of gas
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um you know i'm a i'm a firm believer that men should never wear sandals ever
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how about this one never pack more than you can carry yourself and a man's luggage doesn't roll
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yeah oh i love that it was it was funny actually before i i read um the that the book and read that
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rule my my wife's uncle and i were talking about that he just can't stand wheelie luggage
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and not only that i mean it's one thing to see you know the the golf shirted businessmen rolling
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through the airport you know from gate to gate but have you seen like the fifth grade boys with
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their rollie luggage backpack yeah it's absurd yeah it is absurd yeah you know just going back
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to the the golf shirted businessmen you see them you know they don't even like a big suitcase it's
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just like a carry-on yeah and you know and they're wheeling it some people get upset when they see that
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rule you know this is not to say that somehow you know uh wheeled luggage isn't manly or you know
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you got to be a tough guy it's really a rule to tell you you know if you can't carry it yourself
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you're probably packing too much it's more of a call for you know minimalism and and and paring down
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your life and your wardrobe rather than you know saying hey we all have to be kind of macho tough
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guys and that's kind of the point of the book you know a lot of these rules are earnest and some but
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a lot of them are you know a little tongue-in-cheek the idea is not to say hey i wish we were all
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you know turn of the century pugilists and everyone now is a you know a uh sensitive
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ponytail guy it's it's not really that type of thing it's more just saying hey you know what
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if you if you pare down your life a little bit and if you give yourself in fact less options
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you're going to have a form of quality control you know and that's really what the book's all about is
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increasing the quality of your life and what's around you instead of just the quantity
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you know definitely here's another one i liked is uh don't personalize your license plates
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yeah i mean it's already kind of personalized isn't it no two people have the same license
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plane it's kind of redundant to to put on their you know exactly aviator pilot no yeah exactly and
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here's another one the best thing you can give your neighbors is a well-kept lawn
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yeah some of these rules are inspired sometimes i'll see a photograph somewhere and
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and uh i'm sure you've seen that life magazine finally put all of their photos and outtakes up
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on the web for use and i mean you can just spend days scrolling through that and you come across a
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great photograph and it might inspire a rule um and that's that was one of them i mean just put
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the pictures of classic 50s suburbia with men in their bermuda shorts and a and a cold schlitz
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pushing lawnmowers i mean that is truly the best gift you can give your your neighbors definitely
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definitely one rule i thought should have been in there that my parents really harped this on me was
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ask the girl who's not getting asked to dance to dance i don't know good one yeah it's a good one
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um the the blog continues and i keep trying to add rules because who knows maybe there'll be a second
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edition but mostly because i've got readers that like to tune in and i'm asking them to always submit
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new rules because i love to hear other people's stories people give me great rules all the time
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um along that same vein you know i i added one recently that says uh it was a first day of school
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rule i said you know eat lunch with the new kid yeah you know there's just like some good throwback
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lessons there of just how to be how to be a nice person without just being a kind of you know
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mismanners type of exactly just being a well-rounded civil person yeah so you kind of mentioned a little
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bit how you came up with the rules um can you explain that more you mentioned your dad handed
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some of these rules and i mean where else do you get inspiration for them i mean the the core
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kind of the original group of rules there's probably like 50 of them they really were straight from my
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from my dad um he wasn't like a strict disciplinarian he just had a really good sense of of what he said
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what made a good man and you know what a good man did and what a good man didn't do um you know and
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and some were little things and some were kind of cliched sports idioms you know about you know
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keeping your head down and and persevering and things like that but others were just kind of quirky
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to him you know the guy never wore any socks he never thought it was necessary but at the same time
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he was usually the best dressed guy in the room um and so he had these group of rules and and those
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are the ones that started me off um with the list and then i just kind of added to them
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using my own experiences you know every day walking in new york in every little embarrassing
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episode of your life you say god i'm never going to do that again or i'm going to teach my kid to
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never make that mistake and you just keep track of those things and before you know it you got a rule
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for like every walk of life i mean every time you go in the airport don't you think jesus i'm never
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going to teach my kid to be like that person or something you know and so before i knew it i was
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keeping track of all the things that uh essentially it's like wanting to make the world a little
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better place you know yeah yeah kind of make up for the lack of civility and uh good manners you know
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sounds ambitious doesn't it yeah it is but i think i think you i think you're onto something here and
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you know i think it's definitely i think there's definitely a desire for people to kind of counteract the
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the informalism that's kind of creeped into american society i think a lot of people are attracted to
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that yeah i agree i mean you know i say something in the introduction about at some point rules got
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this bad rap you know i mean in my opinion rules are this really effective way to pass down
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institutional knowledge you know i mean if generations of people have done something a certain
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way and they've taught us to do it the right way the most effective way to pass it down is just make
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a rule about it you know don't run a red light or whatever hey that works and now we're all safe
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um but like somewhere around you know i'd say not to blame anybody but the woodstock generation
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you know all of a sudden rules became you know synonymous with the man and authority and
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and it was it was looked at as as like a you know as a barrier to this freedom and individualism
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and creativity which is just not the case so i think they kind of threw the baby out with the bathwater
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yeah and uh and before you knew it you've got a generation of men wearing you know sneakers and t-shirts
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and to the office and and having haircuts like they did when they were 12 you know yeah and so i'm all
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for freedom and and living your life however you want but it wasn't a great model for young kids
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because when they don't see any differentiation between their parents and them where's the
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inspiration to kind of achieve more than they achieved you know to to grow up yeah definitely
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we're gonna take a quick break for a word from our sponsors and now back to the show um so you
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mentioned walker that some people didn't like the uh no wheelie luggage rule um were there any other
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rules that you know that have caused some controversy or that people just you know you got emails saying
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i can't believe you put that in that's stupid and whatever yeah it's funny i mean you know it's some
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this is a really subjective list you know i'm an east coast city kid so um when i when i wrote that
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if you're tempted to wear a cowboy hat resist yeah i caught a little flack from some of the uh westerners
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you know some from colorado texas i think in the next edition we'll make a caveat that says
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you know unless you actually own a horse you know then we can satisfy the texans um you know it's funny
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when when you when people feel like they're getting criticized for their personal style it can get a
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little touchy i have a thing against facial hair um my dad always taught me that men with facial
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hair have something to hide but at the same time i've kind of come around a little bit thanks to
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art of manliness on uh on a good clean mustache there you go you know so so i'm coming around a little
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bit on that one but it's funny when you get emails from people seem they i seem to get a lot of emails
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from california uh a lot of guys in california saying what do you mean i can't wear sandals jog
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shirtless and grow a goatee and uh i just i i let them you know i let them be not ever not everybody's
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going to want to follow these rules yeah exactly we get that a lot too on our site in fact yesterday
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we we did a post on uh how to get a a madman haircut you know with the the part and the i saw it and
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as a matter of fact just yesterday i went across the street to my mom and pop pharmacy and bought
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a tube of brill cream oh yeah have you used it yet yeah i used it last night what what do you think
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it's not bad i think you probably have to uh throw a lot more in than i did i was a little i was a
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little gunshot yeah i don't think that the phrase a little dab will do you is that no i think it's
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about a a softball size yeah exactly exactly so yeah when we did that post we uh we got a lot of
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complaints you know some emails from people saying what are you talking about that you know my hair
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that i've had since high school is um you know not manly or ridiculous you know again it's a lot of
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the stuff we do is subjective and uh yeah people get kind of a front especially with our site when
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it's called the art of manliness when we say something's not manly and then people get
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really upset because they do that thing yeah and and also what i'm i'm sure you experienced a little
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bit is there still a very strong voice especially like in kind of college age kids um against
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traditional you know gender roles as people like to say um you know because people work really hard
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to to kind of loosen the the restrictions of what it means to be a man and a woman and a girl and a boy
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all for the good i mean and i'm not disagreeing with it i think this book and i think a little bit
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what our mailings is doing it's not it's not trying to revolt against the progress that you know
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people have made and inequality and all those things it's just an idea of of getting back to
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some level of quality control and i see it in earlier generations i'm not saying everything that's old is
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good i'm saying that we might want to look back into our recent past for ideas on how to have higher
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quality goods and higher quality of life rather than always trying to reinvent ourselves and come
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up with something new because three quarters of the stuff we're trying to do has already been done
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and done better you know just just you know look back a little bit and uh and and figure it out yeah
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exactly that's what we do with the site is you know go back into history and take the good and apply
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it with the things we've learned today and uh and the progress we've made and uh yeah i think i think
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that's i think you're absolutely right you know not everything old is good but there's a lot of
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good stuff right there okay so one of the things you have on your site and also in your book you have
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a list of music called required listening for boys and i gotta say it's been fun listening to your your
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list on your website um what are some of the songs you have on your list and why did you pick them
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oh i've tried to give my own little uh very biased 20th century uh popular music
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you know short course or something i mean my my theory here is that if my kid can master
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woody guthrie a little elvis a little ramones then he can pretty much bring home whatever noise he wants
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to listen to because you know when he turns 16 i'm not going to be able to stop him and if
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you know screech metal happens to be hip that day i may be enduring some painful stuff but as long as i
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feel like he's given dylan and springsteen their due and a little smith and a little this and there
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you know then he's got every right to go listen to whatever he wants to and that's kind of what my
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dad always did for me you know he was an elvis man he loved frank he loved nat king cole
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and that's what i listened to when i was a kid my mom turned me on to stacks records and soul music
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and between that between those two i got this bass so when i was coming home with the ramones or the
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sex pistols or you know early discord record music my dad didn't understand it but he let me listen to
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it because you know he knew that i kind of had gotten there on my own it's my own personal greatest hits
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very nice now would you i mean what about movies are there any uh movies you would include in a
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required viewing list for boys you know i thought about putting in a required viewing list because
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i love movies i mean i i worship them i mean there's almost it's one of those things where it's hard
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it's so hard to pick your favorite movie i was i was the list was getting longer and longer and
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longer um and it was also sounding a little too much like afi's greatest movies you know i mean so
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uh i figure there's enough there's enough enough good movie critics out there he can find his own
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list uh but you know some of my favorites surely you know annie hall still one of my favorite movies
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i love west anderson movies i love armageddon i love a good john wayne movie um i mean my my interests
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are all over the place i like what most people like you know you like the story i'm i'm a big fan of
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crime novels and crime fiction so i love mysteries and i love movies like sunset boulevard i mean
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those are my favorite types of movies but uh but i'm not a particular movie snob so as long as it's
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uh under 150 minutes and has a good looking lead i'm in very nice very nice now i'm sure you've gotten
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requests to do or maybe i'm wrong but to do a book called rules for my unborn daughter
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and if so what sort of rules would you include in it got it you know people ask me that and i had
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such a hard time getting i was like yeah it sounds like a great idea except but i can only think of
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one rule and it's pretty much never leave the house but uh i think we could come up with some
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matter of fact i just wrote a few for a for a magazine down in charleston um i think a few on the
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list were like always keep champagne in the fridge and ice cream in the freezer very nice it feels
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like something a girl would like yeah um no vans in the driveway
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um and uh and and other things about oh you know how about uh when you're on a first date order the
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steak there you go yeah yeah watch your date's eyes get really big you know yeah exactly um so we could
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probably come up with some and who knows if this book sells then uh i will surely get to work on
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that one no doubt awesome all right walker both of our sites and our books i mean we kind of talked
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this a little bit already um kind of have that vintage um and traditional feel we kind of harken
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back to you know the old days a bit and i've noticed there's kind of a there's kind of a trend of men
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going back to that why do you think men these days are attracted to you know this this
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traditional manliness you know masculinity again i think it has something to do with a yearning for
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quality um and it's a quality that i think a lot of you know discerning men today saw in
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their father's generation or maybe even their grandfather's generation you know a time when
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you know the majority of your household goods were made in america or you know you needed two suits
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because they lasted you 10 years or three pairs of shoes as opposed to 25 different types of running
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shoes you know um so maybe it's just a sign of the times we've come out of this kind of period of
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luxury and excess and maybe people are feeling like i don't i don't enjoy the disposable culture as much
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i think i want something that's going to last a little bit and so i think it's natural for us to
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look back into a to a period in in our culture when things did last a little longer to me it's
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like right around the 40s and 50s or you know 30s 40s 50s seemed like a cool period when america was
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really peaking and creating really great products um for me like when i was designing the book um
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i always loved the look of like old 50s textbooks and school books you know the kind of book that
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you put up on your shelf and you don't mind it sitting there forever um you know because i looked
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at the tables and i saw a lot of the books today and you know not just being paperback but you know
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with modern contemporary graphics and things it actually really dates it after a couple years and
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i wanted something that looked like it had been there forever um i also wanted something small
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enough to fit in a blazer pocket which was the only other requirement i had for the book designer
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and that worked out very nice very nice well our guest today was walker lamond he is the author of
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the book rules for my unborn son and walker thank you for your time it's been a pleasure thank you
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brad i really appreciate it and uh thanks so much for your site i i love it thank you that wraps up
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another edition of the art of manliness podcast for more manly tips and advice make sure to check back
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at the art of manliness website at artofmanliness.com and remember we got a book on sale too it's the art
00:21:19.180
of manliness classic skills and manners for the modern man you can find it amazon.com or any other
00:21:24.360
major bookstore and for more information about the book check out the website at artofmanliness.com