The Art of Manliness - January 12, 2022


The New Science of Narcissism


Episode Stats

Length

50 minutes

Words per Minute

184.46712

Word Count

9,264

Sentence Count

636

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary

Narcissism is something that looms large in our cultural consciousness. We often accuse friends and family of being narcissistic, think we observe the quality of politicians and celebrities, and wonder why society is becoming more self-absorbed over time. But what is narcissism really, once you get beyond the pop-culture conception of a buzzword? Well, my guest today will unpack that for us. His name is Dr. Keith Campbell, and he s a professor of psychology and the author of The New Science of Narcissism. Keith explains that narcissism centers on an antagonistic sense of entitlement and self-importance, and how the latter can actually underlie seeming cases of anxiety and depression. We then discuss what causes someone to become a narcissist, whether narcissism has increased in younger generations, and when narcissism tips over into outright personality disorder.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness podcast. Now narcissism
00:00:11.680 is something that looms large in our cultural consciousness. We accuse friends and family
00:00:15.160 of being narcissistic, think we observe the quality of politicians and celebrities, and
00:00:19.180 wonder society is becoming more self-absorbed over time. But what is narcissism really once
00:00:23.900 you get beyond the pop cultural conception of colloquial buzzword? Well, my guest today
00:00:27.320 will unpack that for us. His name is W. Keith Campbell, and he's a professor of psychology
00:00:30.940 and the author of The New Science of Narcissism. Keith explains that narcissism centers on an
00:00:35.140 antagonistic sense of entitlement and self-importance, that there are actually two types of it, grandiose
00:00:39.320 and vulnerable, and how the latter can actually underlie seeming cases of anxiety and depression.
00:00:43.680 We then discuss what causes someone to become a narcissist, whether narcissism has increased
00:00:47.460 in younger generations, and when narcissism tips over into outright personality disorder. Keith
00:00:51.800 explains how narcissists are attractive early on in a relationship, but lose their shine
00:00:54.960 over time, and how in a similar manner, narcissists readily emerge as leaders, but then often
00:00:59.080 struggle to hold on to their position and power. We then get in the relationship between narcissism
00:01:03.240 and social media, and how to get the benefits of narcissism, which isn't entirely a bad thing,
00:01:07.400 while mitigating its downsides. Out of the show is over, check out our show notes at
00:01:10.500 aom.is slash narcissism. All right, Keith Campbell, welcome to the show.
00:01:26.420 Thanks for having me.
00:01:27.520 So you are a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia, and you've spent a lot
00:01:31.940 of your career researching and writing about narcissism. How did that happen? How did you end
00:01:36.600 up starting psychology and think, I'm going to study narcissism?
00:01:40.460 Yeah, I have been studying narcissism a good 25, 30 years now since graduate school, and
00:01:47.220 the story isn't as dramatic as you would think. It wasn't some relationship or bad boss or something.
00:01:53.840 Really, I was interested in basic questions of how people think about themselves and how people
00:01:59.820 overestimate their own sense of worth or their own abilities, and we call these self-enhancement
00:02:05.160 effects and social psychology. So a lot of us do it. We think we're more attractive than we are
00:02:10.460 and more humble than we are, and we sort of say we're taller than we are, and we do a lot of things
00:02:15.960 like this. And so I started studying narcissism initially as a way to get at that sort of basic
00:02:21.740 self-enhancement, understand ego. Why are some people more prone to inflate their egos than other
00:02:28.560 people? Why are some people hogging credit and other people more humble? So it was really a basic
00:02:34.640 research question at the beginning, and it just sort of took off.
00:02:38.480 Well, so the word narcissism gets thrown around a lot in our culture. We accuse people of being
00:02:44.200 narcissist all the time. We might accuse a friend. You're being so narcissistic right now. So I think
00:02:48.820 there's a popular idea of what narcissism means. You think a lot about yourself, but as a psychologist
00:02:55.080 and as a researcher, how do you define narcissism?
00:02:58.000 Yeah, you're exactly right. I mean, we use the word, and it usually means something like you're
00:03:03.640 a little selfish, you're being self-centered, you're kind of a jerk, and it's often my ex-boyfriend was
00:03:09.600 really narcissistic or my boss or whatever. So we use it, but we don't know why. And in psychology,
00:03:15.700 there's these technical or more technical definitions, and there's really a few different
00:03:20.900 ways to think about narcissism. So the first way is a personality trait, meaning we all have some
00:03:29.540 level of narcissism. Some of us are relatively high. Some of us are relatively low. Most of us
00:03:34.560 are somewhere in the middle. And in terms of that trait of narcissism, it has a couple different forms
00:03:42.040 or faces. What most people that are listening are familiar with is grandiose narcissism. So it's this
00:03:49.280 combination of sort of, I have a sense of entitlement. I'm important. I'm better than you. I'm attractive,
00:03:55.940 but I'm also confident and outgoing and driven. I want to be a leader. I'm really a likable person
00:04:02.920 when you meet me because of my energy and confidence. So it's this more, it's the kind of narcissism we see
00:04:08.860 with actors or politicians, the Tony Stark kind of narcissism. And this other phase of narcissism
00:04:16.980 shares this sense of entitlement and self-importance, but it's much more insecure and vulnerable and
00:04:23.480 easily threatened. And we call this the vulnerable form of narcissism or vulnerable narcissism.
00:04:29.420 And these are folks that are sort of think they're really important, but don't do much. They're a
00:04:34.820 little more introverted. They have little lower self-esteem. They end up in therapy more. They don't
00:04:39.840 end up running the world. They end up sort of seeking help and it's a different form.
00:04:45.480 So we have those two basic traits of narcissism, vulnerable and grandiose. And then to make it
00:04:51.160 even more confusing, there is a clinical or psychiatric disorder known as narcissistic
00:04:57.840 personality disorder or NPD, which is an extreme form of narcissism that is grandiose, but also with
00:05:06.440 some vulnerability. And when that becomes so extreme, it messes up your life. And in significantly,
00:05:12.360 a clinically significant ways, it can be diagnosed as a disorder and treated. And that's relatively
00:05:18.580 rare, like one or 2% of the population.
00:05:22.200 Gotcha. And I'd like to dig in more into narcissistic personality disorder. Do you see a
00:05:26.080 lot in the popular culture about that as well? And you've written a lot about that. So I think
00:05:30.260 the thing to point out is narcissism is a personality trait. It's not a mood. And that's something people
00:05:36.380 often confuse. They kind of throw in these mental health terms, narcissism, depression, anxiety,
00:05:42.480 but narcissism, like depression, anxiety is about mood. Narcissism is about personality.
00:05:47.940 Yeah, absolutely. These are traits, meaning this is sort of how you are. And the way we think about
00:05:53.820 a trait, it's the way you are across time. You know, you're this way now, you're going to be this
00:05:58.740 way in a few years and also across situations. So the way you are at work and the way you are at home,
00:06:03.680 if you're kind of consistent. So people are narcissistic, tend to be narcissistic over
00:06:08.540 time. If you're just narcissistic this afternoon, I think, well, maybe you got into the whiskey and
00:06:13.480 cocaine or something. And if you're narcissistic across situations, it makes sense. If you're only
00:06:19.220 narcissistic at your workplace, but not at home, maybe that's just a job requirement.
00:06:24.800 So to be a personality trait, it has to be sort of general in your life.
00:06:28.440 Okay. So narcissism is a personality trait, but it's a personality trait made up of other
00:06:33.680 personality traits.
00:06:35.680 Absolutely. And that's really true of a lot of these more, it's a complex trait.
00:06:41.060 And it has components of it, of more general traits, which I'm happy to talk about if you want.
00:06:47.400 Yeah, talk about this. I think most people are familiar with the big five,
00:06:50.660 but for those who aren't, what are the big five personality traits and which of those make up
00:06:54.360 narcissism?
00:06:55.900 Yeah. So the big five personality traits are what happened when you look at all the potential
00:07:01.300 personality traits that we have. And, and we can find those in dictionaries or thesauruses
00:07:07.240 and you kind of go, well, let's put those together. How many are there really? And you go, well,
00:07:13.100 there's about five there that kind of hang together. Well, and those five are easily remembered because
00:07:19.540 they spell ocean or canoe. If you spell ocean, which is my preferred way that the first of the big
00:07:25.980 five traits is openness to experience. And this is a combination of being sort of creative and
00:07:31.620 interested in ideas and philosophy. So a lot of people in academics and philosophy, really high
00:07:37.120 in openness, a lot of artists. The next is conscientiousness, which is the trait most associated
00:07:43.420 with work and discipline. And it's made up of sort of discipline and organization, but also
00:07:48.760 industriousness and work ethic. The third of the big five, the E is extroversion. And this is one
00:07:57.360 most people are familiar with meaning sociability, like extroverts like to go out to parties and things,
00:08:02.540 but it also means drive and ambition. Sort of leaders are very extroverted. And this extroversion piece
00:08:10.300 is what you see with grandiose narcissism. That's that sort of drive. And this is why grandiose narcissists
00:08:16.100 are likable is the extroversion. The next in the ocean is A for agreeableness. And agreeableness
00:08:23.620 is a combination of really kind of being polite, following rules, and also being compassionate and
00:08:30.980 kind. And this is something you see with narcissism as well. It's really core to narcissism and a lot of
00:08:37.220 the more toxic traits, but reversed. So what we see with narcissism and psychopathy and other dark
00:08:43.900 traits is high antagonism or low agreeableness. And the final trait in the big five is neuroticism,
00:08:51.420 which sounds bad, but really neuroticism is a combination of anxiety, depression, some hostility.
00:08:58.300 And that's what you see with vulnerable narcissists, a lot of neuroticism. So if you take those big five
00:09:04.700 together and you want to understand grandiose narcissism, you take some antagonism, somebody who's
00:09:10.560 sort of self-centered and mean and entitled, but you take that person say, and you're also really
00:09:15.140 extroverted and driven and charming, and that's your grandiose narcissist. You take that same
00:09:21.060 antagonism and maybe a little bit more suspiciousness and hostility because there's vulnerability and you
00:09:27.120 make that person neurotic, anxious, insecure, and that's vulnerable narcissism. So that's kind of how
00:09:33.420 you put it together with the big five traits. And you mentioned earlier that vulnerable narcissists
00:09:38.540 are more likely to end up in therapy. Is it because of the neuroticism aspect of it?
00:09:43.700 Absolutely. And when you talk to therapists, what happens is they say, yeah, you have a client come
00:09:49.680 in and they have symptoms of, you know, I'm kind of depressed. Things aren't going my way. You know,
00:09:55.140 the world doesn't seem fair and you go, oh, you're, you know, you seem like an anxious, depressed person
00:09:59.780 and you dig in a little bit. And the person also says, well, I'm really smarter than everybody else.
00:10:05.400 And I should be running the show. And a lot of other things that are hard to see in somebody
00:10:11.740 who's depressed. So sometimes vulnerable narcissism is referred to as covert narcissism because it's
00:10:17.460 narcissism that's really hard to see until you press. On the surface, it looks like somebody who's sort
00:10:23.360 of anxious and, you know, George Costanz is the example, you know, we used to give in the old days
00:10:28.880 or the comic book guy from the Simpsons. But somebody on the surface who seems kind of,
00:10:33.440 you know, weak and neurotic, but inside really wants power and status.
00:10:38.200 When someone goes to therapy and they present, say, as like a depressive, like how do clinicians
00:10:44.360 diagnose, like, oh, you actually, this is narcissism. What does that look like for the
00:10:48.320 diagnostics of narcissism? Is it pretty difficult to do?
00:10:52.060 Yeah, it's, I want to be clear. I'm not a clinician. So this is just reading and talking to
00:10:57.720 people. What seems to happen is it takes a while to dig up. You don't really notice it. And in
00:11:05.680 different conversations, you start hitting triggers. So, oh, this is what makes you depressed. Why did
00:11:11.520 you get depressed? Well, I was disrespected. Well, why were you disrespected? Well, people didn't pay
00:11:17.080 attention to me. Did you do anything? Well, no, they should have noticed me.
00:11:21.300 So an example of something like this would be in the, oh, the Elliott shootings in Santa Barbara,
00:11:30.180 where he asks a girl out. She doesn't say anything back. And he goes, I was rejected by that girl. I'm
00:11:37.580 going to take revenge. So it's a very vulnerable thing to do. Most of us, you know, you go, hey,
00:11:42.700 go out with me. Somebody doesn't say anything. You go, well, they probably didn't hear me,
00:11:46.040 you know? And, but if you're more vulnerable and insecure, you, you assume people are out to get
00:11:51.700 you. They're disrespecting you, sliding you. And when a therapist starts seeing that kind of
00:11:56.200 behavior, they go, okay, there's some ego involvement in this depression. It's not just,
00:12:00.980 I'm a bad person. It's like, I'm a good person who's not getting the respect they deserve.
00:12:05.900 If that made sense. Yeah. That makes sense. What about grandiose narcissism? I mean, I guess these,
00:12:10.060 they're the opposite. They have like a thicker skin. They don't. Yes. Yes. Thicker skin.
00:12:15.380 And they sometimes call them thick and thin skin narcissists. With grandiose narcissism,
00:12:20.540 it's often not seen at first because you meet people who are really confident and extroverted
00:12:25.800 and likable. And if you meet people like this in a social situation or in public, like in performance,
00:12:32.460 your initial response is, this is a really confident person. I really like they're good person.
00:12:38.000 And where you start seeing the grandiosity is over time. When there's options for that
00:12:45.140 person to do something that's warm or loving, or, you know, trust, you know, you have a position
00:12:50.920 where you have to trust them. And it turns out, well, they're not that trustworthy or really they
00:12:56.720 don't, they don't care that much about me. They care more about themselves or they're not as
00:13:02.080 interested in me as I am in them. So what you see over time is you see that lack of empathy,
00:13:06.920 that self-centeredness, but it takes a little time. Often it takes a little time because you like
00:13:13.060 the grandiosity at first. Do we know what causes narcissism? Like why are some people more
00:13:17.860 narcissistic than others? Yes. And it's a, it's a combination. So with personality, what we see is
00:13:26.040 a lot of us are genetics and I'm talking about 50%, maybe a little more as heritable in any of our
00:13:33.020 traits. So it comes from our ancestry. Doesn't mean if your parents are narcissists, you're doomed to be a
00:13:39.360 narcissist or anything, but there is that genetic sort of association. Parenting matters, but it
00:13:45.500 doesn't matter as much as most people think. With grandiose narcissists, you see parents that said,
00:13:51.840 hey, you're special, put them, put the kid on a pedestal. We're very permissive. And with vulnerable
00:13:57.860 narcissists, you see the parenting that you see with a lot of, you know, more negative psychological
00:14:02.840 outcomes. So you see parents who are more cold and abusive that are, you know, a little more,
00:14:07.820 little traumatic, more traumatic for the kid. And the other piece with narcissism is what we call
00:14:15.940 non-shared family environment in the research, but really it's just the random stuff that happens to
00:14:21.780 you growing up. So you grow up and maybe one kid ends up, you know, with a bunch of really nice
00:14:27.540 friends and a nice group and develops really warm and loving relationships. And another group ends up
00:14:33.840 with a little more high status, competitive group of friends and becomes a little more
00:14:38.060 self-promoting and self-centered just to fit in with the friend group. And that leads to more
00:14:44.040 narcissism later on. So it's complex. There's no single path, but there are some things that we know
00:14:49.880 lead to it. Well, you also, in the book, you mentioned culture can also have an influence as
00:14:54.360 well. I think the comparison between Eastern and Western cultures where Western cultures tend to be
00:14:59.360 more narcissistic compared to Eastern cultures. Oh, oh, for sure. There are cultural differences
00:15:05.620 across cultures. So it's sort of that classic, you know, East and West difference. And you see that
00:15:12.020 at the continent level, they even have data looking at East and West Germany, you know, before and after
00:15:18.000 the breakup where you saw lower narcissism, East Germany, that was communist versus West Germany.
00:15:23.080 Another thing you see culturally is the shift towards cities, smaller family sizes, more competitive
00:15:31.320 workplaces. And we see that in China pretty clearly, but some data in the U.S. as well, that as
00:15:37.520 societies become more urbanized, we have smaller families, less long-term trusting relationships,
00:15:43.560 everybody's hustling to build a brand, to get attention, to fight their way through the economic
00:15:49.240 system. There's just more pull for narcissism. And there's also differences across generations
00:15:55.240 as well. I mean, a couple of years ago, actually more than a couple of years ago, I think it was
00:15:58.960 a decade ago, you wrote a book with Gene Twinge, The Narcissism Epidemic, talking about the increase
00:16:05.100 we're seeing in narcissism. Tell us about that. I mean, what is the state of narcissism? Is there,
00:16:09.160 can we see a difference in narcissism from one generation to the next?
00:16:12.880 Yes. And it's unfortunately, well, fortunately or not, it's more complicated. So Gene and I wrote
00:16:18.160 The Narcissism Epidemic in 08, I think, or 09, is right before the Great Financial Crisis. And what
00:16:26.160 we had was this, it was kind of the height of the Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, narcissistic,
00:16:32.600 grandiose era. And we found real increases in narcissism in college students, you know, from the
00:16:39.660 80s to then. And what happened since then is we had the Great Financial Crisis kick in,
00:16:46.420 and the job market collapse. And we saw narcissism start to drop with a lot of young people.
00:16:53.920 They just didn't, I mean, I think vulnerable narcissism's gone up. I don't have really good
00:16:57.700 data on that. But the grandiose narcissism seems to have gone down because of the job market in large
00:17:05.040 parts. And right now with the pandemic, it's really hard to know what's going on. We're seeing lots of
00:17:10.560 change, you know, mental health decreases, lack of trust in society. So it's hard to know what's
00:17:16.800 going on in this cultural stew. But in general, more individualistic societies, more low-trust
00:17:23.040 societies, you're going to get more narcissism. I'm curious, as a researcher, how do you figure
00:17:27.940 that stuff out? Like, how do you figure out narcissism on a scale that large? Like, what do you-
00:17:32.780 Yeah, it's really challenging because it's how do you find data? So what we did was we would look at
00:17:40.420 every single person who'd measured narcissism, we get the mean scores, and we collect those. And what
00:17:46.420 we call a cross-temporal meta-analysis, which is a fancy way of saying is we're looking at all the
00:17:51.540 studies across time, and we'd see if those means are increasing or decreasing. Ideally, what you have
00:17:58.720 is you have these, you know, national data sets that have these data, but we just don't have that
00:18:03.660 for narcissism. So we have to go and look at it. And then if you want to look at things like
00:18:10.040 narcissism culturally, which is a little different question, you have to figure out what to look at.
00:18:14.520 We'd look at things like, you know, what people are naming their children, you know, what are people
00:18:20.020 buying? There's a lot of other things you can look at. Yeah, I've heard song lyrics is one thing you
00:18:25.140 can look at, like the instances of I in song lyrics has gone up, and then the instances of you have
00:18:30.640 gone down. Yeah, song lyrics, books, there's lots of things that have changed. And a lot of those in
00:18:36.500 our society are in the direction of individualism. We're just in a, we're in a very individualistic
00:18:41.920 society right now. Okay, so let's recap. I think it's, we did a good breakdown broadly of what
00:18:47.160 narcissism is. It's a personality trait. Everyone is narcissistic to some extent or another. You might be
00:18:53.100 narcissistic in some instances, but not in others. There's two types of narcissism. There's the
00:18:57.400 grandiose narcissism, which I think everyone is familiar with. And I think that's kind of the
00:19:01.040 popular idea of what a narcissist is. But there's also that vulnerable narcissist where they think
00:19:06.760 they're the center of the world, but they don't really do anything to promote themselves. But they
00:19:10.780 just feel like people, like they're, they feel like the world is obligated to meet their needs and
00:19:15.560 just know about it. And they get really upset when that doesn't happen. Would that be a fair
00:19:19.600 summation? Yes, slighted. And that's that vulnerability piece. It's like, they're easily
00:19:23.800 threatened because they, they, they had, they think the world is, they think the world owes
00:19:29.840 them something, but they haven't been out there fighting enough to have a thick skin. Okay. So
00:19:34.560 that's a personality trait. Everyone can experience that to some extent or another, but then you
00:19:38.380 mentioned earlier that there is a clinical diagnosis called narcissistic personality disorder.
00:19:44.740 So when does narcissism tip over into a disorder and how do psychologists figure that out?
00:19:50.440 Yes. So personality is designed to be ideally sort of flexible. So I have one personality when I'm at
00:20:01.480 work, maybe I have to be more directive. I have to be an authority. I'm in charge. I might have another
00:20:06.620 personality when I'm with my kids. It's not totally different, but I'm going to, I'm going to, my,
00:20:11.520 it's going to go up and down. I'm going to be flexible depending on my, my environment. Well,
00:20:17.200 what happens with personality with some people is it can be, it can get sort of extreme and it can be
00:20:23.280 inflexible so that my narcissism, when I'm at work, it's like, Hey, let's just talk about me.
00:20:31.820 When I'm with my wife, I'm like, yeah, I hear, I hear that, but let's talk about my day.
00:20:37.140 When I'm with my kids, I'm like, you know what? I'd love to pick you up, honey, but I've got the golf
00:20:41.180 clubs in the back of the Mercedes and I just don't have room for you. And maybe you can just
00:20:45.280 take an Uber to the birthday party. And so what happens is your own ego, because it's so extreme
00:20:52.540 and it's not flexible enough, it starts to interfere with your life. So then what a clinical psychologist
00:20:59.900 or psychiatrist has to do is say, well, is this really messing you up in a couple of different ways?
00:21:05.300 And one of the ways narcissism really seems to affect people as relationships. So your narcissism,
00:21:12.580 you might feel good interpersonally. You might not be depressed, but your, your wife or your husband
00:21:17.760 might be suffering. Your kids might be suffering. Your, your employees might be suffering. So
00:21:23.400 one issue is your relationships could be a problem. And so narcissism is implicated in a lot of divorce.
00:21:29.120 It could be that you're making poor decisions at work because you won't take feedback. So you think
00:21:34.500 you're so smart. People are saying you're making a mistake and you're like, no, I'm in charge here,
00:21:38.820 or you want the opportunity for glory and you take risks. So it's destroying your work.
00:21:43.900 So if a clinician says, you know, it's messing you up in a couple areas, it's extreme and inflexible.
00:21:48.680 You've been this way for a long time. It's not just, you know, some drug you're on. It's not a
00:21:54.280 it's not a brain tumor. It's a personality disorder and let's start to treat it. So that that's the
00:22:00.120 process. And that's tricky because with a lot of mental health diagnoses, like depression,
00:22:06.420 the cue is like, is this impairing your life? That's how it's like sadness is impairing your
00:22:10.860 life to like over a long period of time. But it sounds like a narcissism, it could be like the
00:22:15.340 narcissist life isn't being impaired, but other people around them, their, their life's miserable.
00:22:21.500 Yes. And, and it's has the other set of disorders that's somewhat similar are addictive
00:22:27.500 disorders, where you can have people with addictions and say, you know, it's sort of
00:22:31.420 working for me, but other people are suffering, but yeah, it's set up in a bad way in terms of
00:22:38.540 treatment seeking. And this is a challenge. So if I'm narcissistic and the people really suffering
00:22:43.560 from my narcissism or my kids, when I go into therapy and it gets challenging and the therapist
00:22:49.560 is like, or the psychiatrist is like, dude, let's start thinking about who you really are. I go,
00:22:53.800 you know what? I'm out of here. I don't want to do this. And so that is the challenge with,
00:22:58.260 with narcissism and psychotherapy is they just won't stick with it because they're not suffering
00:23:03.420 enough. Yeah. Or even just getting into therapy. Like, how do you, you've got a problem. Like,
00:23:07.700 no, I don't. Absolutely. I mean, that's part of that defensiveness. I'm not the problem.
00:23:13.000 You, everyone else is the problem. So it's hard to get people into therapy who are narcissistic.
00:23:17.980 It's hard to, it's hard to keep them in therapy because the nature of the disorder is the person
00:23:22.640 suffering is often not the narcissist or if they are, it's sort of, they're suffering and, you know,
00:23:27.780 it's a second order effects of their own egos. It's not the first order effects.
00:23:32.580 Gotcha. So, okay. And just to be clear, I think it's an important distinction. Narcissistic
00:23:35.560 personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis. Like you can't just accuse someone of narcissistic
00:23:41.600 personality disorder willy nilly. Like this is something that has to be probably diagnosed by an
00:23:46.000 expert. Yes, it should be diagnosed. And I don't, I don't go around labeling people with NPD. I,
00:23:51.660 you know, you, you, there's processes for doing this technically.
00:23:55.900 Gotcha. Yeah. I think that goes to, for any type of mental health issue, like ADHD, depression,
00:24:01.400 anxiety, you might, you might think you haven't, you'd always go find to make sure you do.
00:24:06.240 And especially in, you know, the challenge you, and you mentioned this earlier is a lot of these,
00:24:10.860 these disorders are also normal conditions. So if somebody says, dude, I'm really anxious. Well,
00:24:16.100 does that mean I'm anxious or does that mean I have generalized anxiety disorder, man? I'm scared.
00:24:21.560 I'm scared of the snakes. Am I, am I scared of snakes like a normal person? Or do I have a snake
00:24:25.980 phobia? So a lot of these conditions kind of ride a line between normal and, you know, psychiatric,
00:24:33.580 and it's not a very clear line in a lot of cases. We're going to take a quick break for your words
00:24:39.500 from our sponsors. And now back to the show. So the first part of the book, you describe narcissism,
00:24:46.660 then the rest of the book, you discuss kind of its effects on different aspects of our lives.
00:24:52.040 We mentioned relationships. That seems like narcissism has the biggest impact on relationships.
00:24:56.060 Let's dig deeper in there. What does the research say about narcissism and relationships?
00:25:01.500 Well, it's, it's complex in an interesting way. So what you find is that the effect of narcissism
00:25:09.080 and relationships is different at the early stages than in the committed stages.
00:25:13.420 So in early parts of relationships, let's say you're dating, typical American dating relationships
00:25:20.760 with the young people, people who are narcissistic are going to be attractive when you first meet
00:25:26.020 them. They're going to be likable. They're likable in 30 second, you know, movie clips. They're going
00:25:31.740 to seem confident and they're going to be very effective at dating. They're going to have more dates.
00:25:36.640 They're going to have more connections on social media. They're going to have, you know,
00:25:39.780 they're going to date more quickly. They get lots of things. So in the beginning of relationships,
00:25:44.420 narcissism is really good for starting relationships. And when people start relationships
00:25:48.640 with grandiose narcissists, they report that those relationships are kind of fun at first
00:25:53.320 because they're exciting. So what happens though, over time is that relationships,
00:25:59.800 and this isn't always the case, but often what people want is they want a more committed or
00:26:05.240 emotionally intimate relationship. And so there's a sort of a transition in relationships from,
00:26:11.480 hey, we're having fun. This is dating to, hey, let's get to know each other. Let's have something
00:26:15.320 more committed. Maybe let's talk about something more permanent. In that transition, narcissism falls
00:26:21.500 apart because what you see with narcissism is not so much an interest in committed or warm or
00:26:27.060 empathetic relationships, but instead you see the narcissist maybe being a little bit unfaithful,
00:26:32.880 being a little uncontrolled, a little bit controlling, being a little materialistic,
00:26:37.280 treating you like a prop or a trophy. You see a lot of negative behaviors come up over time,
00:26:41.840 sometimes abuse, sometimes violence. So the relationships often will start off really strong
00:26:48.480 with grandiose narcissists, but over time they tend to fall apart and they get really, really bad.
00:26:53.520 So that there's just a very interesting pattern. And what happens is people end up dating lots of
00:27:01.220 narcissists because of this, or some people do, and it can be really bad. So that's the short version,
00:27:06.860 medium short version. Yeah. That's interesting. On the grandiose narcissist, you also highlight
00:27:11.820 research that they typically tend to be more attractive physically because they invest more
00:27:17.360 in their physical attractiveness. They're going to buy nice clothes, work out, et cetera.
00:27:22.260 Yeah. That's a great point. There's some really interesting research where they did these studies
00:27:27.620 like, ah, these grandiose narcissists, and these men and women are more attractive. Why is it? And
00:27:33.540 one of my colleagues did a study where he brought people in and had them shave their beards,
00:27:38.980 take their makeup off, and just did just normal facial shots. You can't see any difference. It's just
00:27:43.980 people who are narcissistic, want to be attractive. They want to be attracted, people attracted to them,
00:27:51.060 and they'll put effort into it. And it's effective. Right. But the issue is later on,
00:27:56.020 the person in the relationship discovers, well, this person doesn't really think too much about me,
00:27:59.820 and this is not going to go anywhere. Right. If your job as the narcissist partner is to make the
00:28:04.740 narcissist look good, that can be exciting for a little while, but it gets boring very quickly.
00:28:09.460 What about vulnerable narcissists in relationship? What does that look like?
00:28:13.680 It's a different deal because vulnerable narcissists are not necessarily attractive. They're not really
00:28:18.800 attractive people as a rule because they're, well, again, a little neurotic, a little introverted.
00:28:24.760 It's not an attractive thing. What happens, and this is less research, so it's a little bit,
00:28:31.140 this is just from talking to people. As you start a relationship, sometimes it's a caregiving
00:28:35.760 relationship where I'm dating this person. They're a little weak. They're a little neurotic.
00:28:39.480 Maybe I'm taking care of them. And I assume once I take care of them, they will be more grateful and
00:28:46.720 loving to me. So I date somebody who's a vulnerable narcissist. I'm really nice to them. I go, well,
00:28:50.920 they're going to be less depressed pretty soon, and then we're going to be close. Well, once they're
00:28:54.600 less depressed, it turns out they're kind of a narcissistic jerk. So you get rid of the neuroticism,
00:29:00.000 but you haven't taken care of the disagreeableness, and now you have kind of a jerk as a partner.
00:29:04.860 Okay. So, yeah. So it sounds like narcissism in relationships, it could be good in the
00:29:09.440 beginning, but slowly fades away.
00:29:11.620 It's not, yeah, it's not a good recipe. I said this once, I said, except on a summer fling,
00:29:18.020 and then it was a newspaper headline that said, you know, Dr. Campbell tells people to have flings
00:29:23.080 with narcissists. So I'm not saying that. I'm just saying life is complicated. If you're going to
00:29:28.440 have a relationship with a narcissist, make sure it's short-term and it's on summer, over summer.
00:29:33.040 What about narcissism and leadership? What does the research say there?
00:29:37.080 That's another really complicated area. And narcissism, again, grandiose narcissism seems
00:29:42.700 to really fit with leadership. And we see this in a lot of research now. We see that narcissists
00:29:50.520 are good at emerging as leaders, which means that, hey, if we have a group of 10 people,
00:29:57.380 the narcissist is more likely to become the leader. And this works at, you know, works in family
00:30:02.660 businesses. It works in companies. We just see the people who are more, it works in assessment
00:30:07.920 centers, you know, with smart people looking for leaders. People are grandiose, will gravitate
00:30:12.520 towards leadership because they want it and they seem confident. So you find narcissists emerge as
00:30:20.160 leaders. The challenge is, how are narcissists once they get there? And their narcissism is really a
00:30:28.360 double-edged sword. People who are narcissistic can do big, risky things. They tend to take public risks.
00:30:36.820 When those risks as leaders work and they can take credit for it, everyone thinks they're a hero.
00:30:42.600 And when those risks fail, they try to blame other people and they look really bad. And people say,
00:30:51.720 why were you so stupid to believe that Theranos woman? So it really depends on the outcome. But
00:30:58.000 what you see is this big risk-taking and it can go either way, but very volatile leadership typically
00:31:04.020 with more grandiose leaders. Now, we had Brad Owens on the podcast. He's a professor of business
00:31:10.800 ethics at BYU. And he's done a lot of research on narcissism and humility and leadership. And I
00:31:15.260 think he found the same thing. Narcissists tend to emerge as leaders faster, but in the long run,
00:31:21.080 they do poorly as leaders because of those, the grandiosity and whatnot.
00:31:26.240 Yes. The only, the exception to that is if they can, every once in a while, they'll just hit it out
00:31:32.140 of the park. So I can tell you a hundred stories of narcissists who were brought in and destroyed
00:31:37.320 everything and were then drummed out. And, but every once in a while, they can, they can just
00:31:44.020 get lucky. And then they just write books about it. I mean, there's a great, one of the great books
00:31:48.760 on Larry Ellison is called the, the, the difference between God and Larry Ellison is the title of the
00:31:56.580 book, something like that. And then the subtitle is, you know, God doesn't think he's Larry Ellison.
00:32:01.300 The CEO of Oracle should have mentioned that, but he's very narcissistic character and he's done
00:32:07.080 extremely well as a business person and doesn't seem like a very likable guy, but I bet I'd have
00:32:12.400 a great time hanging out with this, you know, collection of whatever he's going to show me.
00:32:17.040 So it can work either way. It's not always bad, but it can go really bad. And humility is something
00:32:23.900 I would rather have in later. And what is, what about vulnerable narcissism and leadership? Do they
00:32:28.820 typically emerge as leaders or no, they're just going to be kind of wallowing there? Like I would,
00:32:32.620 I should be the leader, but no one, no one recognizes me. Yes. You're a hundred percent right.
00:32:38.320 And, and when they do get into leadership, vulnerability is a very bad trait in a leader
00:32:44.300 because leaders who don't have thick skin will get to, you know, cause once you're a leader,
00:32:49.500 everyone's taking shots at you. It's just like being famous. It's just like, you know, anybody who puts
00:32:54.100 their head out there is going to have people taking shots at it. And vulnerable leaders who have
00:32:58.480 power, they can be real dangerous because when their ego gets wounded, they can, they can lash
00:33:03.640 out and thoughtless ways and hurt a lot of people. So I think vulnerability to leaders are a real
00:33:09.900 mistake. I can deal with, you know, the, the standard, you know, grandiose narcissist psychopaths
00:33:15.220 we have, but their vulnerability, they can be dangerous in unpredictable ways, not just predictable
00:33:20.220 ways. So I think a lot of us, we typically associate the increase in narcissism with social media.
00:33:25.320 That's kind of, it feels like that. Okay. This, we have this platform where it encourages
00:33:29.520 self-promotion. What does the research say about narcissism and social media?
00:33:34.220 It's, it's one of those things. It's a little bit complicated at first. I thought, well,
00:33:40.340 everybody gets on social media is going to become more narcissistic. And maybe that happened a little
00:33:45.260 bit, but it doesn't seem that way. What it seems to be are that people who are narcissistic or
00:33:51.440 grandiose do very well on social media. They have more friends on Facebook, more followers on
00:33:57.380 Twitter. They just tend to have bigger social media networks on all the accounts. So if you open up your
00:34:03.320 social media account, look at all your people you're following, you're going to see more narcissism
00:34:07.520 than really exists. And social media seems to be good at reinforcing narcissism. So people who are
00:34:15.040 narcissistic can use social media to get attention and that will make their narcissism
00:34:20.260 survive or inflate or whatever. So it's a way of maintaining narcissism, but it doesn't seem to be
00:34:27.980 making narcissists. It's in fact, it seems to make people a little bit depressed, but that's another
00:34:33.740 topic. It seems more, it's a tool for people who are narcissistic to self-promote and it works well for
00:34:40.480 them. Okay. So, so it's, it's social media self-selects for narcissists, basically. That's why it seems like
00:34:45.380 everyone's a narcissist. Okay. Yes. And I thought it was interesting. Some of the, the research being done
00:34:50.200 right now, it's, it's, again, it's kind of speculative right now, but it's interesting that
00:34:53.200 you can actually look at someone's social media postings and figure out if they're higher on
00:34:59.240 narcissism than others. Like the, the amount of selfies being taken is possibly a, a sign that
00:35:05.400 someone's narcissistic. Yeah, it's really, it's really interesting. So, you know, we started,
00:35:11.540 I started doing this with a student and maybe it's almost been 10 years ago. We were doing back in the
00:35:16.640 day was we'd look at student. This is when undergraduates had Facebook and no one else
00:35:21.020 had social media. And we'd look at their Facebook pages and code them. And we'd use that to predict
00:35:26.420 narcissism. We're like, yeah, we could do this pretty well. It's, it was very laborious and old
00:35:31.400 fashioned. And about three or four years ago, people started using more machine learning to start
00:35:38.580 scraping websites and using things like likes of products or other information on there to predict
00:35:44.340 personality. Some of this, you know, if you've heard about the Cambridge Analytica scandal,
00:35:49.720 that's what they were doing. And that turns out to work pretty well, but not great. So you can
00:35:55.760 detect narcissism, you know, maybe 0.2, 0.3 correlations from some sort of machine learning
00:36:01.740 would be my guess, but it's not perfect. And it's not a secret pathway into people's lives.
00:36:07.560 If that makes sense. It's not like a window into their soul.
00:36:10.720 No, yeah, that makes sense. And one of the things that came out of that research
00:36:14.940 is that narcissists, not only do they take more selfies, but they actually like when other people
00:36:21.200 take selfies and post selfies, which is interesting. Cause like, you know, when I see someone post a
00:36:24.960 selfie, it kind of makes me feel like I experienced some sort of like secondhand embarrassment. I'm like,
00:36:29.040 wow, that's why would you, but there's people who really are really into that. They're like,
00:36:32.220 yeah, that's great. Keep doing that.
00:36:33.920 No, I mean, that's where I love personality because people are just wired differently.
00:36:37.580 And when I would take selfies, I, it would, it would horrify me. I'm like, I can't,
00:36:42.460 I mean, who puts a picture of themselves? This is so wrong. It was just, it's just how I wasn't
00:36:47.720 raised that way. And I'm so, I'm sort of neurotic and I'm like, God, I look so horrible in this
00:36:52.420 picture. I couldn't, couldn't do it. People are narcissistic. It's pretty easy. It's like,
00:36:57.020 Hey, I look good. Let's look at everyone else. Look good. And you know, I'll look good alone.
00:37:01.740 I'll do more selfies with my own body. So it's more comfort in doing it and they're cool with it.
00:37:06.980 Yeah. So people are just different. Yeah. People are like, I, uh, I've think I've taken
00:37:10.800 one selfie, like where I've actually held the camera and like, and it made me, and I never
00:37:15.060 wanted to do it again. So if I have to take a picture, I hand the camera to someone else,
00:37:18.960 like, you take the picture. And, and, and it's funny whenever I see people take selfies in public,
00:37:24.040 I look away. It's like, like, like we're in like the gym, the locker room, like, okay,
00:37:29.120 this is some kind of weird private experience and I shouldn't be looking at it.
00:37:32.400 And that's just me. That's it's a year from a, from a different culture and you're wired a little
00:37:38.000 differently. And if you were from the modern, you know, digital culture and you were a little
00:37:42.120 narcissistic, you'd think like, God, I am so grateful to be born in the era where I could
00:37:47.040 take pictures of myself all the time. Imagine those poor, you know, those poor Gen X kids that
00:37:51.540 didn't even have cameras. Uh, so we, we talk about grandiose narcissism in social media. Do we know
00:37:56.860 how vulnerable narcissists use social media? We have data on it and it's a lot less data.
00:38:03.840 So it's not as clear. And what it looks like is there's a lot more struggle and insecurity sort of
00:38:11.100 like, you know, we were just talking about people are vulnerable. Don't feel as they want to put the
00:38:15.300 selfies out there. They want to get liked, but they don't feel really good about it. So they spend
00:38:20.500 more time waffling back and forth. And it's not necessarily a fun, a fun process. And you can talk
00:38:26.500 to some Instagram stars. I don't know, maybe you have that you look at their Instagram and you're
00:38:31.320 like, Oh my God, this person must be the most confident. They just knocked this shot off, just
00:38:35.700 hanging in Dubai. And when you talk to them, it turns out they spent a day doing that shot.
00:38:42.560 They, they didn't sleep for a day or two worried about how they look. So there's a lot of
00:38:46.780 vulnerability, but you don't pick it up in the pictures. Yeah. Those are some of my favorite
00:38:50.120 articles that come out where you have some journalist that goes into these like influencer houses where they
00:38:55.420 all live together and kind of see what it's like. And yeah, it's, it's a lot, it's a lot more going
00:39:00.500 on than you think a lot of anxiety and neuroticism and, and just being anxious about how things are
00:39:06.660 going to be received. And they spend a lot of time on this stuff. Yeah. I think that the real,
00:39:11.940 the real celebrity culture, and I was just up in a, I was just up doing a celebrity podcast last week
00:39:17.780 in LA. It was really fun, but that culture, there's a lot of anxiety about performance because it's so
00:39:23.700 competitive, you know, it's just so brutally competitive that it's not as fun as it looks.
00:39:29.660 And another related to this idea of narcissism and digital technology, narcissism can also help
00:39:35.040 explain the phenomenon of trolling. How can narcissism help, help us understand that?
00:39:40.260 Oh yeah. So trolling, you know, the idea on social media is just, you know, putting out bait to see if
00:39:46.560 you can get people to get upset or riled up about it. People looked at that with trolling and other
00:39:52.860 dark traits and the traits that really seem to predict trolling are narcissism, some psychopathy
00:39:58.100 and sadism, which is basically just, I like to, I enjoy watching people suffer. So there's some
00:40:04.760 narcissism and trolling, and there's also just some plain old meanness, but it's not a, it's not a,
00:40:10.860 it's not people, it's not fun love. It's not a loving thing. Loving people do. It's a, it's a little
00:40:17.660 bit darker. And is that situational? Like, does that only happen on social media or is this carry
00:40:23.580 over to other aspects of life? Because they are personality traits. These things generally will
00:40:28.320 carry across situations because they are traits, but they'll come out in different forms. And,
00:40:35.260 you know, somebody who's a great troll would be, you know, somebody like Elon Musk, who's, who
00:40:39.980 comes across as a, you know, narcissistic, but he's a, he comes across as also what we call a trickster
00:40:46.680 figure, you know, a guy who's kind of a joker or a trickster. And those figures are interesting ones
00:40:53.480 and that they're often very creative. So they, they, they can seem narcissistic, but they're also
00:40:58.960 kind of interesting and creative and not enough research on that type of troll.
00:41:04.760 So listening to you speak about narcissism, I think we typically focus on the downsides. We'll
00:41:10.880 talk about that here in a bit, but I mean, it does sound like there's some upsides to being
00:41:14.020 narcissistic on occasion in the realm of relationships. If you spend more time on how
00:41:19.060 you present yourself and you put yourself out there more, you're more likely to get in a
00:41:23.840 relationship or even like in the job hunt, right? You have to put yourself out there to, to be
00:41:28.760 considered for a promotion or a raise or something. So how can you use, get the benefits of
00:41:34.200 narcissism without the downsides? Yeah. I try to look at narcissism and I try to look at most
00:41:40.080 things as a trade-off because that's how nature is. If something was just always bad all the time,
00:41:45.680 we just wouldn't really have it so much. So most of our personality traits have some benefits at some
00:41:51.680 point and narcissism is no exception. And I think narcissism works really well in dating. It works
00:41:57.360 really well. Public speaking works really well on leadership works really well in self-promotion,
00:42:01.960 maybe marketing, maybe competition, you know, walking into a boxing match. So what you can do
00:42:08.140 is you say, well, let's look at the narcissist doing that. And maybe I can use some of that swagger,
00:42:13.940 but I'll just do it in limited domains. So maybe I'll have swagger when I walk into the boxing,
00:42:19.640 you know, boxing ring, but I'm not going to carry that home with my kids. Or maybe I'll have the
00:42:25.200 confidence when I walk on stage instead of going, I'm going to fail. I'm going to say, yeah,
00:42:29.200 I got this one and try to feel really positive about it and just see how it goes. So I think
00:42:35.220 there's a lot to learn from watching, especially the more grandiose, the more grandiose people and
00:42:40.620 how they can really succeed in life and imitating some of that stuff, but not, not starting to
00:42:46.540 believe your own hype because you're just not that big of a deal. So let's say someone's listening
00:42:51.180 to this and they're thinking, well, maybe I'm, maybe I'm more narcissistic than I need to be.
00:42:54.440 And it is affecting my relationships. We're not talking a narcissistic personality disorder.
00:42:59.160 We're just talking, you're higher in narcissism than you like, and you're seeing that it's
00:43:02.160 affecting your relationships. Is it possible to tamp that down?
00:43:06.800 Yes. I think one thing we've learned in, in personality science in the last 10 years,
00:43:12.420 I think very clearly is that personality can change and to change, you need to identify what it is
00:43:18.700 you want to change and then, and then make an effort over time. What I would suggest to people
00:43:24.500 is say, look, I'm a little narcissistic. I would say, what is it specifically that's really messing
00:43:29.620 you up? Is it, is it the way you treat your, you know, is the way you treat your, your relationship
00:43:35.040 partner? Is it something at work? Is the way you relate to people and figure out what that is and
00:43:41.120 say, look, I'm going to address that one specific behavior. You don't have to change your
00:43:44.500 whole personality. Don't just try to do one thing. So for one example I have, and I'm not
00:43:51.180 super narcissistic, but I'm really extroverted and I have a tendency to talk over people. I'll go to
00:43:56.900 conferences and I'll start talking. I'll get real excited and just drown people out. And so I go,
00:44:03.340 well, this is my tendency. I look a little bit self-centered because I am. So I'm going to really
00:44:08.200 just, every time I talk to people, I'm going to put in breaks. So I give them a chance to talk
00:44:13.140 and it's a practice. So my suggestion to people is if you find things like that, just go, Hey,
00:44:19.100 it's something I would rather not do so much. It's not benefiting me. What could I do to make
00:44:23.660 a little better, little simple thing like that? And this, this, how we broke things down with
00:44:28.320 narcissism, the difference between grandiose and vulnerable and the personality traits that are
00:44:33.200 involved in each one that can help you pinpoint what you need to work on. So if you're more of a
00:44:36.300 grandiose narcissist, you might need to tamp down the extraversion a bit. Let other people have the
00:44:42.300 limelight. If you're a vulnerable narcissist, I imagine the thing you got to tackle there is the
00:44:46.100 neuroticism or the anxiety. Yes. It's the neuroticism. How do you do that? You know,
00:44:50.440 exercise, meditation, yoga, you know, walks, SSRIs, you know, there's, there's things you do to try to
00:44:57.900 get rid of that anxiety or depression in your life that can be helpful that way. And then the,
00:45:03.760 then the other key piece is that antagonism. And that could be practice of, you know, compassion,
00:45:09.960 you know, there's compassion meditations you can do that, you know, treat everybody like they're
00:45:14.760 your mother in a past life. I mean, that's an old one, but, but there are different practices that
00:45:19.780 you can, you know, be nice to puppies, whatever it is, just find something and focus on that and see
00:45:25.560 if you can make some headway that way. Yeah. Focus on other people, not you. Yes. The key. Yeah.
00:45:31.040 And you gotta be careful of the meditation. I've seen research lately saying that certain types of
00:45:34.800 meditation can actually make you more narcissistic. That is really an interesting question because
00:45:40.920 we have some, some research in ayahuasca that we've been looking at too. And I, I think there's
00:45:46.180 a challenge in the meditation. It's the energy-based practices, which are kind of what I do. Some of the
00:45:52.620 more energy-based yoga practices that are associated with narcissism. What happens is people have an
00:45:58.840 enlightenment experience and they go, okay, I'm enlightened now. Well, I guess I'm a guru. I'm
00:46:02.780 going to go get some followers. So I don't think those practices are the best for grandiosity. I
00:46:09.820 think they're good for vulnerability and neuroticism, but for grandiosity, they can be a real mixed bag
00:46:15.740 and, you know, a lot of narcissistic gurus. Right. If you're grandiose, you want to do the loving
00:46:21.100 kindness or the compassion. Loving kindness would be what I would suggest. That's the prescription.
00:46:25.920 What about narcissistic personality disorder? I've read things that it's really hard to treat and
00:46:30.320 sometimes it seems like it's impossible to treat. Is that, is that true? It can be, but okay. So
00:46:36.440 we don't have the gold standard clinical trial because it's never been done. But if you look
00:46:44.440 across all the different clinical trials where they've looked at narcissism and these aren't always
00:46:49.520 perfect studies, what you find is that narcissists and narcissism can be changed. The big challenge is
00:46:56.800 keeping people in therapy and getting people to therapy. But if people stick with it, it seems to
00:47:05.160 be possible to change. So it's really a challenge of getting people in there and finding a therapist
00:47:12.000 who can deal with people who are narcissistic. And this is a challenge in finding a therapy that fits
00:47:16.620 the person. Okay. So we talked about reducing narcissism in yourself. How do you handle someone?
00:47:21.360 If you have someone in your life who's a narcissist, whether that's a spouse, a boss, a friend,
00:47:26.680 any tips there as you can keep maintaining the relationship?
00:47:30.580 It depends on how tied you are with the person. And one, I guess, no matter what the relationship is,
00:47:37.880 if you're dealing with somebody you think is really narcissistic, it's good to find some support,
00:47:42.040 find some other people that agree with you so that if you get in a conflict, the person can't,
00:47:47.640 I mean, they'd use the term gaslighting, but basically people who are narcissistic can make
00:47:52.740 you think you're crazy. So you get some social support around you, take notes about things,
00:47:58.020 start understanding the situation in a very stable and solid and secure way in case there's a conflict.
00:48:05.380 And then you have to deal with whatever conflict comes up. So it could be you have a narcissistic boss
00:48:10.380 that's stealing credit from you. And then you go, how do I handle this? Do I give them the credit and
00:48:15.640 then try to get them promoted out? Do I try to get some of the credit? Do I try to get another boss?
00:48:21.260 It just depends on what the situation is, but I'm like, get a support network first and get outside
00:48:29.080 help if you can. Yeah. Gotcha. Well, Keith, this has been a great conversation. Is there some place
00:48:34.180 people can go to learn more about the book and your work? Yeah. My website, wkeithcampbell.com.
00:48:39.340 It's not great. It's got some stuff. Book could be found anywhere. And I'm sometimes on Twitter
00:48:45.180 at wkeithcampbell. All right. Well, Keith Campbell, thanks for your time. It's been a pleasure.
00:48:49.780 Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
00:48:53.320 My guest today was wkeithcampbell. He's the author of the book,
00:48:55.780 The New Science of Narcissism. It's available on amazon.com and bookstores everywhere. You can find
00:48:59.660 more information about his work at his website, wkeithcampbell.com. Also check out our show
00:49:03.680 notes at aom.is slash narcissism, where you find links to resources. We can delve deeper into this
00:49:07.800 topic. Well, that wraps up another edition of the AOM podcast. Make sure to check out our website
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00:50:02.540 Bye-bye.
00:50:03.060 Bye-bye.
00:50:09.220 Bye-bye.
00:50:10.540 Bye-bye.