Dennis Miller joins us on The Ben Shapiro Show Sunday Special to talk about his life in Hollywood, his new stand-up special, and what he s up to these days. He also talks about his new show on Comedy Central, The Dennis Miller Option, which is available for free on the Westwood One Podcast Network, wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen or subscribe to it on Apple Podcasts, or subscribe at Acast.fm/TheBenShapiroShow and wherever else you re getting your podcasts on the WFMU Network. If you need life insurance but you re short on time, head to PolicyGenius.com and compare quotes and find the best price. Once you apply, the Policygenius team will handle all the paperwork and the red tape. No commissions, no fees, just more time saved for you. And if you ve got a mortgage or kids or anyone, depending on your income, you ll have to spend some of that precious time getting life insurance, you should give PolicyGeniuses a try. They re the easy way to buy life insurance online in just 2 minutes, you can compare quotes from the top insurers and get the best deal. Once you re done, you re gonna want to spend less time comparing life insurance and more time doing literally anything in the world else other than that. Check them out! right now, check them out. That s Policygeniuses. They re your one-stop shop for financial protection, and they re the best place to get any of these types of insurance you ll be able to do literally anything else besides that you want. Go get yourself some life insurance right now! Go and check out their website right now. It doesn t take a lot of time to get it done, right now and get yourself an extra 20 minutes of time saving for you and your family a chance to be a responsible adult. So be an adult, check it out. It s not just insurance, it s a whole lot more than that! . Check out the best way to get your life insurance. . . . and a whole bunch of stuff you can t afford it, right here on the westwoodone Podcast Network in just a few clicks. on the one and only place you ll get a discount on the other side of the internet to get a free copy of the show and a discount code that s just like that .
00:00:00.000I look at people in Hollywood and I think they're a little haunted by their good fortune.
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00:03:52.000You make a choice to talk out loud and let the chips fall where they may.
00:03:56.000If I had to say, I'm 65, I don't want to bang that drum again, but did you, I mean, who gets really infrequently, you know, do you get super hot when you're 65 years old?
00:04:09.000I think things are in a suitable denouement.
00:04:11.000It's not like, it's not like I can't do anything, but I, my choices are limited to some degree, but it seems to me that it's completely where it should be.
00:04:22.000Like I said, what do I have in common with a 65 or with a 25-year-old kid?
00:04:27.000You know, if I sit down with many 25-year-old kids who are friends of my son's, then they're also nice.
00:04:35.000But when I watch somebody like AOC, I'll abbreviate the, I guess that's the new lexicon, But when I watch her, I think, well, this is so obviously ill-informed.
00:04:47.000But they're enamored of her vivacity, the fact she'll use social media.
00:04:54.000It's not a fact-based exchange they have with her.
00:04:57.000They just like the fact that she's flipping the table on the old school.
00:05:01.000So I get all that, and I think, well, why would I appeal to them?
00:05:05.000I don't want to be the buzzkill that comes in and, you know, does that, you know, Falcon and the Snowman discussion, you know, between the dad and the kid at lunch where you're I don't want to turn this into sort of a nostalgia play, are you grousing about the young, but I look at AOC in the same way that I look at some of the comedians that I see working today, and that is enthusiasm over skill.
00:05:31.000Do you get that impression also, that there's a real draw toward the enthusiastic and the authentic as opposed to the craft, like actually working through things?
00:05:42.000Well, the craft, I think, is... Listen, there's some guys who are beautiful technicians, and they literally would do syllable counts and peel it back.
00:05:50.000But the main directive, obviously, with comedy has always been getting laughs.
00:05:55.000Now, you can go out and do it in a myriad of ways.
00:05:58.000There are physical comedians, there are, you know, intellectual comedians.
00:06:01.000You see some guys and you think, wow, that's so smart.
00:06:04.000But for the most part, it's all about the prime directive of getting laughs.
00:06:08.000I've noticed the change is more tectonic In that it's turned everybody's comedy act almost into an impersonator act.
00:06:17.000Like impressionists used to do, they'd go, what if Jack Nicholson was working at the Burger King?
00:06:23.000And I was always bridal, I had that, I lacked that gene where I could go with that, where I'd say, time out, he's one of the highest paid actors in the world, why is he working at a fast food place?
00:06:44.000It's sort of a short-circuited the primal thing that it's an involuntary gesture where somebody says something funny and you don't have to intellectualize it.
00:06:59.000And so that's a big change for comedy.
00:07:02.000The term that I've heard used about this is claptor, that people are not actually laughing anymore, they're just, they're clapping and this is the Hannah Gadsby version of comedy where you have think pieces now about why for thousands of years we've actually been getting the entire concept of comedy wrong.
00:07:15.000It's not that we're supposed to laugh at things, it's supposed to, if we laugh at things it's actually bad.
00:07:19.000We're supposed to think about things and then the thinking is the humor.
00:07:23.000It seems to me that we are reshifting the entire nature of humanity around what a bunch of very politically driven people want it to be because I mean I'm old enough to remember when Jay Leno was on television and trying to be funny and now you've got people on TV in late night who I don't even know if they're trying to be funny anymore.
00:07:40.000I think that Fallon may be the only late night host who's even making an occasional attempt to be funny.
00:07:44.000I don't know what your opinion is of the Well, I think Jimmy's a great entertainer, and I like that about him.
00:07:51.000I think that you have to understand, if you want to... At some point, you would lose those jobs if you... Look, look how good Jimmy is at it.
00:08:22.000There is an individual's choice at some point to keep a great job.
00:08:26.000Now, listen, you can say you should make your statement, you should speak your mind.
00:08:30.000If you're a 45-year-old Jimmy Fallon, who seems like a delightful guy, the times I've met him over the years, good kid, makes me laugh offstage, deadly funny.
00:09:08.000Jimmy could not go out there now and espouse anything on that side.
00:09:12.000I think at that point it's – with Deion Sanders, whenever he does NFL football, somebody won't, like, stretch out for a pass.
00:09:20.000They'll, like, short-arm it so they don't get lit up, and Deion Sanders will go, business decision!
00:09:26.000And that's the purest thing of – at some point you have to understand the hierarchy would whack you if you went out every night and did a – And this is where I feel like contrary to your own perception of yourself, I think that there probably is a growing market for somebody like you actually saying things that are both funny and somewhat conservative simply because if you look at Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy, like I remember when he used to do the sports thing on Kevin and Bean on 106.7 like I remember when he used to do the sports thing on Kevin and Bean on 106.7 out here
00:09:55.000And when he was doing his show with Adam Carolla on Comedy Central and the humor came first and now he's the Pope of late night, right?
00:10:00.000He gets up there and he's going to rail about Obamacare and cry on TV about Obamacare.
00:10:06.000And I just think to myself, well, isn't like, where's the other side of this equation?
00:10:10.000Where are the, every funny comedian seems to be He has to check that box for a cloaking mechanism.
00:10:15.000You have to at least make overtures toward being politically woke if you're going to survive in this.
00:10:19.000Even guys I like, like I think John Mulaney is really funny.
00:10:23.000I think Mulaney, he will have to at some point in his show just dump on a certain portion of the country so that he can get his woke cred in order so that he can go about doing his normal business.
00:10:34.000I mean, isn't that leaving half the country out of the equation?
00:10:36.000He has to check that box for a cloaking mechanism.
00:10:38.000If he doesn't, everything else in his act will be shot through the prism of, is he not woken up?
00:10:43.000It's So yeah, is it easier to strew it throughout so you look woke for an hour and you're doing some type of jokes?
00:10:50.000Or is it better just in the middle like a sorbet you cleanse your palate with, just come out with a thing and hold up a picture of Trump with horns and a trident?
00:11:00.000You know, you can work both ends of that, but in the middle you've laid... It's odd to me how it's demanded that you establish that.
00:11:13.000There are times I think Trump's a buffoon.
00:11:15.000There are other times I think Trump's great at what he does.
00:11:19.000He's an infinitely better president in my eyes than he was a host of The Apprentice.
00:11:23.000There were times I'd watch him on The Apprentice and say, This is so stilted and weird and awkward and ego-driven.
00:11:31.000But there are days I watch him as the president, and I think, you know, when I see those union guys being let into the Oval Office and him just saying, God, take some pictures.
00:11:42.000And the guy starts crying, thinking about his dad, who's the, you know, the boilermaker who never got anywhere near that.
00:11:49.000I always think, wow, in an odd way, The most patrician of these guys.
00:11:54.000I shouldn't say patrician, but the billionaire guy comes in and he has a stranglehold on what the hoi polloi mean.
00:12:02.000I think it was all those years of him in a hard hat walking through construction sites with the power tie on, but he also has to cohabitate with all these cats who are throwing the building up where he has nothing.
00:12:13.000Something gave him these proletariat chops, which I admire about him.
00:12:17.000You know, whenever they say, just this morning, Ben, well I shouldn't let you ask questions, Bob wants to rant here, but I saw again this morning that a couple of Democratic candidates, Castro, I forget his name, is it Julian?
00:12:38.000And I always look at this stuff and I think, oh, for God's sakes, do you not see that you're not being clever about how you're playing this guy?
00:12:44.000If you do hate him, if you do hate what he wants, if you want him out, to throw down the Hitler thing.
00:12:50.000And then here's even the backup plan on that.
00:12:52.000If you say, Well, listen, when you say he's Hitler-like, obviously my flash card in my head is the systematic liquidation of six million of his fellow human beings.
00:13:03.000I haven't seen anything like that from Trump.
00:13:04.000And they'll say, oh, of course I didn't mean that.
00:13:07.000And you'll say, well, what other Hitler peccadillo were you seizing on?
00:13:11.000You know, the shitty mustache, the bad house painter reviews on Angie's List, of course when you sing.
00:13:19.000So again, this morning, even today, you've got Beto O'Rourke positing himself as a young hipster.
00:13:26.000A young hipster does not come in and say the man in the Oval Office right now, to me, it's such an awkward, clumsy overplay, is like Adolf Hitler.
00:13:38.000I think when you say eventually people will come around, I think that they might have to, because I always think they have to come out of this fevered state where they go, wait, if I want to beat this guy, I've got to stop giving him freebies by calling him Adolf Hitler.
00:13:54.000And then he proves himself not Hitler and other people are going, I'll vote for him.
00:13:57.000I mean, this has been kind of my view of what this political moment originally was in the first place, which is they called Mitt Romney Hitler.
00:14:02.000I mean, Joe Biden went out there and suggested that Mitt Romney, the most anodyne human being who has yet to walk the earth, was going to put black people back in chains.
00:14:11.000And then I think the Republican Party and a lot of people in the middle of the country, they just said, you know what?
00:14:26.000Even if they liked him, they thought, well, listen, I have this guy over for a toddy, but for God's sakes, you're going to need a dock fighter in there.
00:14:35.000You remember, I look back at Mitt Romney and I think, I remember him saying that our biggest geopolitical threat was Russia.
00:14:45.000It's so funny to me that Obama did the hipster thing, attention, 1998, you know, and I thought they're just ridiculing this man.
00:14:58.000And then the moment, five minutes after Trump won that election, and they're up in that, they can't believe it, up in Hillary land.
00:15:06.000They immediately trigger the doomsday machine, which is Russia's back.
00:15:12.000And I thought, it is so crazy how they shift those things.
00:15:15.000I keep waiting for a younger candidate on the Democratic side to be hip enough to come out and deny all the overplays and establish himself somewhere in the middle.
00:15:25.000It's such an easy sister soldier moment to come out on a couple of these things, for Beto O'Rourke to just step up and say, obviously he's not Adolf Hitler.
00:15:45.000He's been the only one who's made any sort of, yeah.
00:15:47.000Maybe he sees it and thinks, geez, I can go for mayor, president, because there's a whole big, probably 45 percent that are predisposed to go directly against Trump in this next election.
00:15:58.000I don't even know if there'll be a third party.
00:16:00.000There probably will be, but you probably have to nibble at 6% max or 5.1% max.
00:16:08.000Or if there's a third candidate, you might not even have to get the 50.
00:16:11.000Somebody should be smart enough two years out to say, I got to disengage myself from this pack that is overplaying their hand with Trump and look like the person that the moderates will vote for.
00:16:21.000Because I do think 45 are voting for him, 45 are not voting for him, and you've got to start making sense to those 10, and I don't think you're making sense to them over playing your hand with Trump, especially when the jobless claims are down to, what, 49-year lows?
00:16:36.000But, you know, for me a big thing, and I always hear it, or I don't hear it hit enough, is there were missiles flying over Japan from that nutcase around two years ago, testing them.
00:16:47.000At any point has he lobbed those missiles?
00:16:50.000One could have blown up over Japan, you've got World War III.
00:16:55.000The fact he's not testing him anymore is a huge thing.
00:16:57.000Those are sitters at the net that a wise, moderate Democrat would step in and start a sentence by saying, here's what I like about Trump.
00:17:04.000And then, and this is the shorter part of the sentence, that's all you'd have to do if you were a moderate Democrat.
00:17:10.000But do that, and boy, I'm telling you, it would be an intoxicant to a lot of undecided voters.
00:17:15.000So in a second I want to ask you about the future of the Republican Party and then I want to get back into your history and how you got into all this stuff for folks who don't know your story.
00:17:22.000But first, what helps you fall asleep?
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00:18:46.000All righty, so I want to ask you about the future of the Republican Party.
00:18:49.000We're talking about the Democrats who are off the track.
00:18:51.000They seem to be disconnected from at least a huge percentage of the American public.
00:18:55.000Where do you think the future of the Republican Party lies?
00:18:57.000Because I do think that there is a certain mythos that's been built up about President Trump as sort of great political figure when, in fact, statistically, he performs basically in line with how George W. Bush performed in a lot of the swing states, how Mitt Romney performed actually in a lot of the swing states.
00:19:11.000What do you think the future of the Republican Party is?
00:19:13.000You were always saying that you were socially liberal but fiscally conservative.
00:19:16.000Do you think that we're moving in a more libertarian direction or a more populist direction?
00:19:19.000Where do you think the future of the conservative movement lies?
00:19:21.000Real quickly, just let me put a button on the Dem side of this.
00:19:25.000I think Hillary is going to be the unlikeliest cavalry riding over the hill.
00:19:32.000I'm looking at her relative silence, not all the time, and I think somebody has told her, listen, the less they see you, the better you play.
00:20:11.000I mean, what do you make of all the accusations about Biden and his candidacy, which seems to be on the ropes this early?
00:20:15.000Biden should get back to his actual job, which is being the third guy in the car on a Sonic commercial.
00:20:20.000You know, for years, I've been hearing about what a genius Joe Biden is.
00:20:25.000And to me, he's one of those big, glad-handing doofuses who went into the bubble when he's 29, he's 75, and every time I see him, he's there, I don't want, drawn to this reluctantly, but I have to help.
00:20:37.000And Joe, if you're out there and you watch Ben, and you know, probably you do, I want to tell you, stop helping me.
00:21:33.000You know, if anybody out there, that's one thing we should be able to agree to in this culture.
00:21:36.000If you said, which way is political correctness coming from, the left or the right?
00:21:41.000I think anybody would have to concede between college professors and Hollywood social media doyens that mostly the left demands that you walk in a very tight lockstep.
00:21:52.000I've been on both sides of this issue over the years, and I can tell you the people on the right side-o up to their ass-kicking a lot easier than the left does.
00:22:07.000They regularly get poke fun at, and they kind of move on with it.
00:22:10.000The left's the one who have gotten so PC now that Biden probably will be done in by the same thing that he now has to cater to.
00:22:18.000It's weird to watch him walk this Walenda thing, and the same week he has to go back and apologize for his performance at the Anita Hill thing.
00:22:27.000He also has to say that I didn't really mean it when I lean in, but now he has to qualify that and say, I see that the space is different now.
00:22:38.000And I think, wow, it is a hard job over there keeping up on the daily PC casting list, which they know.
00:22:46.000And that's exactly right, especially because the same week that Joe Biden is doing all of this stuff, the entire Democratic Party descended and paid homage to Al Sharpton.
00:22:54.000Right, who's like one of the worst people in human history.
00:22:57.000And they're all going to the National Action Network and they're pretending like he's some sort of great political kingmaker, you know, three decades after he pulled the Jussie Smollett with Tawana Browley.
00:23:07.000I, you know, I met him once and I couldn't call him Reverend.
00:23:12.000I said, listen, I can't do the Reverend thing.
00:23:14.000You know, I must admit, it was pretty, it was pretty easy about it.
00:23:18.000I just said, there's too much, you know, there's too much You know, you read about that haberdasher up in Harlem who ended up getting killed?
00:23:27.000I mean, this is rough stuff when you make these accusations that are false.
00:23:32.000So I don't respect Al Sharpton at all.
00:23:36.000And by the way, that weight loss, I think he just got to a point where he had so violated the sacrosanct promise of not overusing the minibar on speaking engagements that he actually had to cut it out of his rider, and that's when he got thin.
00:23:50.000I think that man was entirely filled with a gray goose and Toblerone.
00:25:10.000I don't think we're spending At the same speed that we did under Obama, but certainly it's not enough of a thing where you go, oh, he's notched back on that.
00:25:21.000I think that I can't judge Republicans because I don't feel Republicans been in there.
00:25:31.000We got to the place where this whole thing, if they had had another eight years to sort of cement, solidify, smooth over, appease, tamp down problems with Hillary's dossier and all that.
00:25:48.000If they'd had another eight years to do that, I don't think this country was coming back.
00:25:52.000And when people say, well, what do you mean coming back?
00:25:55.000I just mean it would have turned into some huge sort of Scandinavian country.
00:26:00.000And it would have been, you know, people over here are such hustlers, it would have been Scandinavia because everybody would have been beating the system and you wouldn't have shot for the moon anymore.
00:26:40.000I like a can-do attitude, and I was always puzzled.
00:26:44.000The most enamored I ever was of Michelle Obama as I saw her speaking one night on TV, and she was talking about how her father, who she adored beyond all others, would come home in between shifts and take an hour at home.
00:26:58.000and bounce her on her lap as a young girl, and then he'd go back out, leave.
00:27:04.000You know, it's almost like caveman stuff.
00:27:06.000You leave the cave to procure meat for the young ones.
00:27:09.000And imagine, you have your dad, he's smiling at you, he's come from a busted-ass job, he's going to another.
00:27:15.000Imagine a young girl sitting there, "Wow, there's a man for you." And then later in life, I thought, "Why do you want to turn this stuff over to Chuck Schumer?" You know what I mean?
00:27:23.000Why do you want your old man's government to be in charge of what was the most important moment in your life?
00:27:30.000I've never understood that part of it.
00:27:33.000When people say to you, why are you conservative?
00:27:56.000You put the net in, you're still there, but it's, well, they fall, and that's, I don't know, that's my big protestation with an entitlement state.
00:28:07.000When did you actually become, or realize that you were politically conservative?
00:28:11.000Well, listen, I grew up in Pittsburgh, and Pittsburgh's an OBS town, so you work hard for your money, so that's in my hard drive.
00:28:20.000I remember as I got older, it was important, and this was pretty late in life, comparatively, it wasn't a childhood thing.
00:28:29.000Admiral Stockdale was a big thing for me, because I remember thinking, I remember Stockdale was picked, when's Perot, is that a, what year?
00:28:38.000Okay, so we're now going on 17 years, and I remember... 27 years.
00:28:46.000Jesus, I can't believe life's moving by like that.
00:28:50.000But he picks Stockdale, and Stockdale goes on TV, and he's This is a man who was in the Hanoi Hilton, for God's sakes, tapping out codes of prayers to young men who, you know, they'd say, Jimmy in cell 8 wants to die, you know, and he would pray with them through the night.
00:29:08.000Can you imagine a more... I don't know, I always hear that and it makes me cry thinking about the kid who wants to just die.
00:29:15.000You know, just stop trying to live and die.
00:29:18.000And this man getting on and praying with him and code through the pipes, it just boggles my mind at the nobility of that.
00:29:24.000He goes on TV and says, I don't even know what I'm doing here.
00:29:27.000They naturally excise that clip and make him look like some doddering fool.
00:29:32.000And I'm thinking, for God's sakes, the vice presidents we've had over the years, Quayle was a vice president.
00:29:39.000Except I don't think he's a man, he's a historical figure to me.
00:29:43.000So certainly Stockdale could do this job.
00:29:46.000That was a big moment for me when the left started ridiculing him.
00:29:48.000I remember thinking, this room's getting too hip for me if guys like that are, you know, going to be disparaged at the expense of other guys who are, quite frankly, just hacks who went into a system ages ago.
00:30:01.000You know, to me, much of politics is the ability, the best people at it, are the ability to look at the crowd they're speaking to and point an individual at and actually have that individual think they must have met at some point.
00:30:18.000How's about there's a guy who doesn't know how to do that, but answers the call to save a young man's life in the most horrid situation on earth.
00:31:04.000That part of it didn't make sense to me.
00:31:06.000And after 9-11, let's say, anybody who was able to, like, wrap 9-11 up and move on, whenever I hear people say, it's time to get it behind us, like, what are you kidding me?
00:32:09.000I didn't even know that much about Reagan, honest to God.
00:32:12.000I mean, these people always act like that they were... I remember talking to you when you were in the amniotic sack and you were smart, but I didn't pay that much attention, honest to God.
00:32:21.000And I had no trouble lighting up Reagan.
00:32:27.000You know, you're supposed to be Scaramouche.
00:32:29.000You've got to come out and flourish the cape a little.
00:32:31.000So I made fun of him, but I can't even say I knew everything he stood for.
00:32:35.000But if I go back, I do believe we had some basic overlaps.
00:32:39.000And I've seen old specials of myself where I do have a pragmatic side that comes through even when I'm trying to be a hipster as a young man.
00:32:47.000I would say 9-11 was a big thing, I would say Stockdale's a big thing, and I think just common sense is a big thing.
00:32:53.000I wasn't certain enough of my guesswork to be liberal anymore.
00:32:57.000There was such a degree of certitude about the same sort of, you know, or flip a coin that most of us do.
00:33:05.000As I got older, it just didn't make sense to me anymore, some of that stuff.
00:33:08.000And as I get older yet, it still doesn't make sense to me.
00:33:12.000Listen, they always say, oh, Trump's insane, and I guess Obama's held up as the avatar of, you know, wisdom and that.
00:33:20.000And I always think, who loads 1.8 billion onto a pallet and sends it to Iraq?
00:33:25.000I mean, I'm kind of—people say, that's so naive.
00:33:28.000I can hear John Kerry say—and I go, well, you overthink it.
00:33:32.000I just know they live to kill the Jews.
00:33:36.000I'm not even Jewish, but I dig the Jews just because they live in the craziest cul-de-sac in the world.
00:33:41.000And anytime you pre-package 1.8, just the fact that they would ask for it in cash, I'd say, why don't I just give you a check and fill the memo section on kill Jews?
00:35:09.000Last time I went to the post office, I got a traffic ticket.
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00:37:00.000But at the time, I thought, well, this could be tough.
00:37:03.000So I got tough, and then I was seen for Saturday Night Live.
00:37:10.000I'd have to say that's, you know, to answer the question, but we can go through the other ones if you want, but that's the biggest change.
00:37:16.000I mean, you know, you come in from Baltimore.
00:37:18.000I remember I was in Baltimore getting stomach poisoning at a, oh, I won't say the name of the company, because I've eaten there since, but at a place, and then all of a sudden, two days later, you're healed up, and you're in New York, you're on Letterman, And I remember I had auditioned for Saturday Night Live and didn't get it.
00:37:36.000They showed the cast in USA Today and I thought, I remember I was so tough at that point, I even saw that picture and just said, all right, now your time brother.
00:37:42.000You know, it wasn't like I, I just thought it's brutal.
00:37:46.000Don't waste a second, you know, being a wuss about this.
00:38:46.000They needed the time between the band who would play and the weekend update to dress him out in prosthetics for some of the characters he did.
00:39:20.000So I dug that action when I was a kid.
00:39:22.000I don't know if I have the nerves for it now, but at the time it felt like savoir faire.
00:39:26.000Then after that, I went, I was looking for an exit point because I didn't want to be a guy who overstayed his welcome there.
00:39:32.000I remember in college, there was always the guy who came back after he had graduated the next year and hung out near the keg, trying to tap it and get laid.
00:39:38.000And I always thought, what a weird scene that is.
00:39:40.000So I didn't want to overstay my welcome.
00:39:42.000So around six-year point, I looked for a point to jettison the fuel module and get out for money.
00:39:47.000And I got a nice gig in a syndicated show, but it got whacked after just six or eight months.
00:40:13.000At that point, I began to disengage from actively judging how good my life was going through job or not job.
00:40:21.000I remember thinking, you know, I had this theory about lump in your armpit theory used to keep me through where I'd think you could get fired from a job and be like as disconsolate as you want and be in the shower the next morning saying, God, I can't believe they whacked me.
00:40:37.000And all of a sudden, you find a lump in your armpit as you're lathering up.
00:40:40.000And your wife goes, what were you saying about losing the job, honey?
00:41:30.000This receiver hurts his ankle, and they're wrapping it in an Ace bandage and on the air.
00:41:35.000I try to make Al laugh, and the weird Arcania is what makes him laugh.
00:41:38.000Because Al's a genius, but if you throw him off his feet, he can't gather it, and he's like a tipsy air traffic controller.
00:41:43.000It gets a little weird, so I spend all my time trying to get him to laugh, so they show him wrapping the ankle, and I go, you know, Al, I haven't seen that much fabric used since the environmental artist Christo wrapped the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris.
00:41:55.000And I remember Al hits his sneeze button, which cuts his voice out to the home viewer.
00:41:59.000He looks at you and goes, hey, what the f*** are you talking about?
00:42:04.000Ohmire, our producer, is down in the truck and he fancies himself an Artificianado.
00:42:08.000I actually hear him say, no Al, Christo, environmental artist, good call, good call.
00:42:15.000And I remember simultaneously delighting in that and thinking, I'm not long.
00:42:18.000Because you can't, you know, they're watching football.
00:46:44.000I just go like that, and the kid turns the prompter on, on the bullet point I'm at, and then I hit it and turn it off, and then you're good for another 20 minutes.
00:47:26.000It was like a basic iambic pentameter for jokes, because I would get to the point where I'd say, you know, I went to the doctor, he said I was a little stiff, what am I, Rosie the Robot Man?
00:47:40.000It would signal it, or it would trip me up, and then I'd think how easy it was.
00:47:45.000You have to at some point have a little, you have to be debonair about it.
00:47:50.000You know, you have to demystify it and then you have to feel proud of it.
00:47:54.000So at the beginning I remember I went on Letterman the first time and Biff, the guy who lets you backstage after if you don't get called over, says, hey, what's your last two lines?
00:48:10.000So eventually you get through that part and then Weekend Update I remember thinking taking it to the next level thinking I'm taking the next level as a value judgment I did the best I could but I remember thinking you better do some panache now brother because they want somebody out there It doesn't look like he's looking at his feet and shuffling and acting apologetic.
00:48:27.000They want him out of doors So start getting in closer to the horns.
00:48:30.000That's when I started putting Savoir Faire in and all the goofy affectations and I just remember that During the week, I had a perfect thing.
00:49:36.000But yes, also the Arcania doesn't only serve, but then it does, listen, people act like you're some cat who gets to dim some around and say, I think I'll be this.
00:51:03.000I'm reading Atlas Shrugged as we speak again, and part of it's weird to me, but part of it, the self-determinism part, I find really exhilarating.
00:51:13.000I remember thinking they don't want you to be up there being sucky like Dagny's brother Jim in the novel.
00:51:18.000They want you to be like Hank Reardon.
00:51:20.000Step up and do your thing and do it confidently and they're freed up to dig you because they don't have to worry about your self-esteem.
00:51:28.000I remember at the beginning crowds would look up.
00:51:31.000Nervous laughter is them thinking you seem like a reasonable, nice guy and they don't want you to fail.
00:51:36.000They've diverted their shields like on Star Trek away from just flat out laughing into protecting you in some way.
00:51:43.000If you go out and start giving off that sort of Garbo thing that you don't care if anybody ever sees you again, it's an intoxicant to them.
00:52:45.000Then the next thing I saw like that was Robin in his first HBO special, where he was so untethered.
00:52:53.000And Robin became a movie star in that.
00:52:54.000but when his young stand-up, just to watch somebody that carefree, I knew I could never do that, but I remember thinking, God, that must feel like a loofah scrub on your brain to go up and be, you're always so guarded in front of strangers.
00:53:08.000To go up and be that unguarded, you must feel bulletproof when you walk out.
00:53:12.000I went to see a comedian named Kelly Monteith, who was nice enough to have me backstage, and I don't even know if Kelly's still with us, but I always kissed the ring because I was a young kid thinking, I can't do Robin, but I think I can do what Kelly's doing.
00:53:24.000And I don't mean proficiency-wise, I just mean that sort of, Delivery to Mike.
00:53:28.000And imagine what a sweet man he is to have me back.
00:53:31.000A kid unknown who does not even a comedian to say I'm contemplating it for 10 minutes backstage and giving me some guidance.
00:54:12.000You know, it was about socks and a dryer, but it was such a clever take.
00:54:16.000I remember he did a joke one night, he was the only one that said, maybe quit show business.
00:54:20.000It was so deft, where he said, I watch a parakeet fly into a mirror, and I always think, well, sure, they're low brain power, but that being said, wouldn't he want to avoid the oncoming parakeet?
00:54:36.000You know, I remember I had to leave the room and say, man, I'm writing jokes.
00:54:40.000I got to go sublingual here because that's way down here.
00:54:46.000And then today, I would say the funniest man in the world is Brian Regan.
00:54:50.000Who's a brilliant comedian who, the beauty of it is you have kids, I don't know if you still have the kids' grandparents, but you could take all of them to this thing from 10, and I don't say this about a lot of guys, to 80, and they all walk out like with temporal mandibular joint syndrome.
00:56:31.000The guy describes it, and Sam says, yeah, sounds good.
00:56:34.000Hey, listen, around three o'clock, after hearing that story, around three o'clock tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to be doing some yard work, and if there's anybody else in the crowd who wants to drive by and put a I'm dead!
00:57:34.000But Sam had a good heart, but he was more malevolent.
00:57:37.000I don't think either of those guys could work now, and that's a weird place to be in.
00:57:40.000I mean, that's what I was going to ask you next, is about the modern standards.
00:57:44.000You know, it seems to me that we've actually returned to a sort of puritanism about comedy, where if the only jokes that you're allowed to make are basically sex jokes, all the other jokes are out the window because they rely on stereotypes or they rely on observations about reality that could be offensive to somebody.
00:58:00.000Sex is inherently funny, so you can make a sex joke and get away with it, or you can just shock somebody by cursing or saying something incredibly lewd or vulgar, but it seems like that's It's either that or probing social commentary, meaning just leftist social commentary you could watch on Maddow.
00:58:15.000So is there a future for comedy in this world?
00:58:20.000You know, there always is, but I can't foresee it.
00:59:26.000But it's not going to be a minor thing.
00:59:29.000Something's going to come out of this perpetually uptight attitude that's going to make everybody shake their head and think, oh, we've gone too far.
00:59:36.000Well, one of the things I wonder is whether there's been too much of a merger of politics and comedy.
00:59:40.000So you were mentioning Leno before, and the fact that Leno really did try to play it straight when he was on The Tonight Show, avoiding ticking off one side at the expense of the other.
00:59:49.000He would actually tell jokes about both sides.
00:59:52.000And now it seems like it's Well, it makes you question what comedy is, doesn't it?
00:59:57.000And you'll hear comedians say things openly like, well, there wasn't anything funny about Barack Obama.
01:00:01.000And I just think to myself, how is there nothing funny about Barack Obama?
01:00:04.000There's plenty funny about Barack Obama.
01:00:05.000Well, it makes you question what comedy is, doesn't it?
01:00:10.000Or in another way, it makes me question, I don't know, I don't want to sound like I'm going to be Kierkegaard or something here, but the subjectification of the empirical is a great puzzlement to me.
01:00:21.000And it's why I think somewhere down the road you literally could have 2 plus 2 equaling what the child believes it equals, when you start putting intent, feelings, emotion ahead of Well, what's it equal?
01:00:39.000That's what's happened now is I often wonder, well, how am I looking at Nancy Pelosi and seeing sort of a disingenuous person who's been in that system for so long, her one genius is knowing how to play that That micro world that she's in of sharp elbows.
01:00:58.000But when I watch her, I don't think she's a great intellect.
01:01:00.000And then I have other people, you hear people talking about her.
01:01:05.000And I look at that and I think, well, is it just egotistical for me to, do you ever have this moment where you think, what is separating these two?
01:01:22.000I want to ask you for a second about what seems to me a transformational point in comedy was the rise of Comedy Central, and particularly Stewart's show.
01:01:30.000I think that Stewart's show had almost a cataclysmic impact on the merger of politics and comedy.
01:01:36.000And because Stewart was so incredibly talented, he was able to get away with the merger of the two.
01:01:41.000But it sort of killed comedy to merge it with politics in the way that Stewart did, where he would read a headline, and then he'd make a funny face at the audience, and then the audience would laugh simply at the headline.
01:01:49.000And it wasn't an actual joke about the headline, it was just we laugh at the headline itself.
01:01:55.000And so it became that politicians were now comedians, because I can read a headline too, and comics became politicians.
01:02:01.000There was an actual merger of the two, and you can't separate it off, and that means there's no actual leeway for comedians anymore.
01:02:05.000It used to be that if you were a comic, You could say something deeply offensive and terrible and completely get away with it because you would just say, right, I'm a comic.
01:02:15.000And now it's, well, no, you're not allowed to say that.
01:02:17.000That defense as the comic doesn't obtain anymore because The thing that bothered me about Stewart's routine was that it was clown nose on, clown nose off.
01:02:27.000Sometimes it was that he was the clown, and sometimes he was not the clown.
01:02:29.000So when he was appearing with Tucker Carlson on Crossfire and ripping into the horrible things that Crossfire was doing to the world, he was not being a comedian.
01:02:36.000And then he'd go back on Comedy Central, he'd put the clown nose back on.
01:02:39.000And I think people stopped being able to tell the difference between the people who were the comedians and the people who were the politicians.
01:02:44.000And you're seeing that with Kimmel right now, who's being seen as a moral voice as opposed to a guy who is supposed to make you laugh on late night.
01:02:53.000I think the job description's changed.
01:02:56.000I think he's hitting the job description now.
01:02:58.000And at some point this does come down to individuals who have seized great jobs.
01:03:02.000I mean, really, where's Jimmy Kimmel gonna go?
01:03:32.000The people who I think have gone in the bubble for so long, mostly in Hollywood, I think there's always a haunting thing.
01:03:39.000You hear great people talking about, people who have built great fortunes talking about, I was always a little haunted I didn't get a college degree.
01:03:59.000Some of them are great artists, but some of them have a mug that works.
01:04:03.000Some of them are at the right place at the right time.
01:04:05.000I think they're always a little haunted, so they're trying to legitimize themselves now by being, you know, professorial, and I've got some wisdom here, and you're saying, you're the fifth lead on Full House, you know?
01:04:25.000But the fact is that guys like Trump, Trump lived a whole life.
01:04:30.000I don't think he feels any need to, you know, when people say, how can he say those things?
01:04:34.000I don't think he's thinking the look wise.
01:04:37.000I think he's kind of built what he thinks Donald Trump is, and now he's just going to upset the entire apple cart.
01:04:43.000All I know is this, I don't watch the Oscars anymore.
01:04:45.000I had a chance to last year, but they had somebody also offer me the chance to kayak solo across the Pacific with a rabid meerkat in my lap, so I opted for that.
01:04:53.000But everybody goes on there to look wise now, and you go to Trump press conferences for laughs now.
01:05:00.000That's just such a, so when people say, well, how did we get, I can't even tell you how we got there, much less how we get back.
01:05:07.000But I would say if I had one hot lead on how we got there is people started, people in tertiary industry started taking themselves serious about knowing how the world works.
01:05:19.000Honest to God, when I go out and do my thing, I say that, now these all, Stop at the end of my fingertips.