Ep 2 ｜ 9 Ways To LOVE Single Life (And Stay Classic!)
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 4 minutes
Words per minute
169.19133
Harmful content
Misogyny
27
sentences flagged
Toxicity
11
sentences flagged
Hate speech
38
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode of the classically abbey podcast, I discuss the Meghan Markle and Prince Harry relationship, why I don t like it, and why I think it s a good thing that Meghan and Harry are the way they are.
Transcript
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Nine ways to embrace singledom as a classic woman, how strong the women in the Bible are,
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and how long should someone date before getting married.
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All this and more on today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast.
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Hello and welcome to today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast.
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This is episode number two, so we're getting into things.
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I really am enjoying recording, just sitting down and chatting.
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I kind of mentioned it in the last episode, just sitting down and talking for 45 minutes.
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But if you missed the first episode, then you won't know how this is structured.
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We start off by doing an intro and catching up.
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Then we do the main portion, the main topic of the episode,
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followed up by the faith talk, where I give you guys a little bit of insight into the Torah for me,
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the Bible, the Old Testament for you, if you're Christian.
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So if you are a premium subscriber to my Substack newsletter, you will get access to the opportunity
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And I will choose a couple of those questions each week to answer.
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Now, I also want to do a quick plug for my Substack newsletter.
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If you aren't subscribed to my Substack newsletter, you should definitely check it out.
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You will get a ton of exclusive content, including access to my book club, my movie club, our community.
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We have discussion threads, a weekly exclusive article and submitting questions for videos and podcasts just like this.
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So I would love if you would join us over there.
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And if you are enjoying the episode, make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts
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and subscribe on my YouTube channel so you can watch it.
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So that's kind of what I like to talk about at the beginning is what's been going on in my life.
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Maybe what's going on in the zeitgeist a little bit.
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Maybe we'll start off with what's going on in the world.
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And if you don't know, Prince Harry's new book, Spare, just came out.
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Now, I personally, if you've followed me for a while, you probably know this, but I personally
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take issue with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.
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I don't like how they've treated their their removal.
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They're leaving from the monarchy and the royal family and then how they've actually kept themselves
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in the spotlight consistently and constantly because Meghan complained about how awful the
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I think many of us assumed, well, then she's going to want a more private life so she doesn't
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But instead, she is constantly in the limelight.
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She's constantly putting herself in to people's faces.
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And it's like, oh, my God, we are oversaturated in case you were wondering.
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I just started listening to the Audible because I want to be able to talk about it here.
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I neglected to watch the Harry and Meghan documentary on Netflix because, to be honest, I didn't
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I don't know why I'm choosing to waste my time with the book.
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But I thought, hey, if I'm going to continue to comment on this relationship, on Meghan and
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If you are interested in the whole Harry, Meghan thing, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the
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You can leave the comments on YouTube or if you become a premium subscriber, you can leave
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it on my sub stack where you can get access to my newsletters.
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I'm reading a book called The Queen by Andrew Morton.
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It's a biography of Elizabeth, and that just happened to be the book I picked up at the
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So now I'm reading two books about the monarchy, which is kind of funny.
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And then I'm also reading a book called The Happiness Hypothesis, which I'm reading for
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our book club for the Classically Abbey sub stack.
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I've read The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt, but I haven't read The Happiness Hypothesis.
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And then I'm reading for the book club that I host for my community, a book called, I
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think it's called Live in Love, and it's by Laura Akins.
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I personally don't know anything about the country singer Thomas Rhett.
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So Thomas Rhett is a country singer that all of my friends apparently love, and they love
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that all of his music is about his wife, which 100% I agree.
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Like he's built his career off of just loving his wife so much.
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And so his wife wrote a book, and they all decided that's what they wanted to read.
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Four nonfiction books, I'm realizing, which is kind of a lot for me.
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But I will say, I'm pretty far into The Queen by Andrew Morton, loving it.
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It feels like a story, which is my favorite way to read fiction.
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Um, and I haven't started The Happiness Hypothesis quite yet.
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And I started listening to Live in Love, super sweet.
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And, uh, I look forward to actually listening to the rest of the book.
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So that's what's been going on in my reading life.
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But I also wanted to mention that my husband and I hosted a murder mystery party.
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If you've been wondering, are murder mystery parties that you host at home fun?
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Did you watch The Glass Onion and think, hey, I want to host my own murder mystery party?
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So everyone had to dress up in the 1930s fashions.
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And we put a little, like, ambiance movie film.
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Let's call it a video, uh, from YouTube, uh, on our TV screen.
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And then we also listened to some 1930s classics.
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They had, like, weird characteristics and secret traits, which made it so much funnier.
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And because everyone totally committed, that was what made it fun.
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So that's, I think, the big lesson and takeaway from our murder mystery party is if you're going
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to host something like that, make sure that everyone is really committed to being in character
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Because number one, that means people won't flake.
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But if your friends have buy-in to an event that you're hosting, then they're not going
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And number two, people just really enjoy doing something that has that much investment.
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So definitely recommend doing a murder mystery party.
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You can just buy a box from TJ Maxx or Marshalls or something.
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I also hosted an impromptu grilling get-together because my husband just got a new grill.
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And I wanted to have him celebrate that with our friends.
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And just the day of, I texted a bunch of my friends.
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And I said, hey, do you guys want to come over and, like, bring steaks?
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Bring steaks or bring ground beef and we'll make some food.
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And I was so shocked because all of, I invited three couples and their kids.
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And so I was so happy because day of, they all agreed to come.
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And that's the really cool thing about being in a community.
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So a little, a couple of other things I wanted to talk about.
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So I got a question from a premium Substack subscriber.
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And I didn't necessarily want to make it, like, a subscriber question to talk about.
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But she kind of was asking about my workout routine and what I'm doing.
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And at this point, my workout routine is the Sweat app.
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And I can choose the length of the workouts that I'm doing.
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So they range from, you know, 20 minutes to an hour.
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But I really only have 25 to 30 minutes in the morning when my mom comes to babysit Mr. Baby.
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So I have been able to work out four days a week.
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I'm starting to lose a little bit of baby weight that I've been, like, excited to lose.
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Now, I signed up for it when they were having a sale for Christmas.
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And it's way cheaper than, like, a gym membership.
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So if you want to work out from home, or really you can do the workouts that they have at the gym, too,
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because they have all of their exercise regimens are based around what equipment you have.
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So if you have a gym membership and you want, like, guidance about what to do and how to use that equipment at the gym,
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then the Sweat app would be amazing for that, too.
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But if you're doing home workouts and you only have a couple things, like bands or dumbbells or, I don't know, a yoga mat,
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Last thing we're going to talk about in life updates is I wanted to make a little recommendation
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So I have a notebook that I use to brain dump my to-do list every single day.
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And it is so helpful having the ability to just sit down and write down everything I need to do.
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And then I, like, throughout the day will go back to that list, cross things off,
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And by the end of the day, like, the page that I have marked out for that day has so many notes and scribbles on it
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that has helped me figure out, okay, so this took longer than I expected and this didn't get done yet.
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So how can I re-jigger the day to make sure that I get everything done?
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So if you are like me and you think on paper, because that's really what it is, I think on paper,
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then I really recommend picking up a notebook and a pretty one, too,
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because I like having one that I enjoy picking up.
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Buy some pens you like or find one around your house and just have a piece of paper
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always available to you to write down little notes, to write down your to-do list,
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to write down your schedule and keep your head on straight as you're kind of taking on the day.
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So let's get into the main portion of today's episode, which is nine ways to embrace singledom.
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So as you know, here on my podcast and on my YouTube channel, I talk a lot about faith,
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And I talk about how important marriage and motherhood is.
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Now, I think those things are really important.
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But as a single person, I think that we can feel guilty or not worthy or like our lives don't matter
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And that is not the point I'm trying to get across here.
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One thing I do want to clarify before getting into the main bit of what we're talking about
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is my content is really geared towards explaining to those women who don't know
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that it's important to to make their lives conducive to having children and a family.
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That everything else, all this leftist narrative, all this media that's going to tell you that
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it's important for you to find yourself outside of marriage and family, that that stuff is
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And so when I am being a proponent of this stuff, it's from the perspective of trying to
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convince those women who or at least give them a space to pursue tradition and pursue the
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things that traditionally have made women happy and that they don't have to feel guilty about
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So when I talk about marriage and family, that's where that's coming from.
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It is not meant to make those women who are actively trying to find a husband or are actively
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trying to have children feel bad about themselves because you get the project like you understand
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what we're here for, but your path may not be there yet or you may be going in a different
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So I think that being single is actually great and I loved being single.
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There's a reason that we weren't born in pairs.
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There's a reason that we weren't born with the person we're going to end up with and that
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Because there is an important stage of singleness that allows us to become better on our own
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so that when we come together with our future spouse, we already know what we're about and
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But it's not supposed to be that you are with the person you're going to end up with from
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So if God didn't build the world that way, then it's important that we understand the importance
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And I want to talk about how you can enjoy it as a classic woman, how you can really
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learn to love this time of your life, even if you are interested in a bigger goal later
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on, like something I talk about and I have mentioned before is the idea that you can love
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where you're at while also having an eye towards the future.
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You don't have to hate where you're at in order to make moves to change or make moves to
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People often think that if you say you are losing weight, it means you hate your body
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No, you can love your body for everything it's doing for you.
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You can enjoy being who you are and comfortable in your skin while also saying, I'd like to
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lose a couple pounds to be healthier or I'd like to lose a couple pounds so that I can
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It just means that I can recognize that maybe there's some improvement that can go on there.
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The same thing happens and is relevant when it comes to being single.
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I enjoyed my time as a single woman while at the same time, I knew that I wanted to get
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And because I wanted those things and I didn't have them at the time, you're not always going
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So with that in mind, I want to talk about nine ways you can embrace this single time
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Now, I used to do this all the time and I miss it.
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I would take an entire day and do things by myself that I wanted to do.
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I would like take myself out to a restaurant, read a book, get a glass of wine and just enjoy
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I would go to museums by myself, which I cannot recommend enough.
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Going to a museum on your own, on your own schedule where you don't have to follow someone
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else around, where you can just sit and take in the art as much and as in your own way
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as possible, where you can sit and sketch if you want to and you don't feel the pressure
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to move on and just taking a whole day and enjoying it.
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There's something so special about the time of being single where you get to do this.
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You don't really get to do this at other parts of your life where you'll just do things
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Just I loved seeing movies by myself because I liked the chilled out nature of it where no
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one else was, I wasn't looking at somebody else for their reaction.
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I could just take in the movie on my own and see what I thought.
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Like I wasn't constantly checking in with the person next to me.
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Are they thinking it's funny or do they think this is boring?
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I loved going out to lunch by myself because I didn't have to like sit there and talk to
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Now, when you're married, obviously, it's not like that you're with somebody you love
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But there is something really special about going to a restaurant, reading a book and hanging
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And I just think we don't take advantage of that enough when we're single.
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We're always and I understand because, again, this is something I think about a lot, the
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But there's also something to be said for solitude and solitude is rarer as you get married and
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So this time of your life where you are single, take advantage of the solitude and do things
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Go do something that you haven't gotten to do because maybe someone else's schedule hasn't
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If there is a an exhibit you want to see or if there is a place you want to visit, like
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You can also listen to podcasts if you don't really want to walk around in the silence.
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I mean, I think that there is something to be said for walking around in silence, but
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you can also put on some music, which I've done just because it's like giving yourself
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a background score while you are experiencing life.
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Number two, host parties for your girlfriends.
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You will learn the art of hosting through hosting.
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And I think that not enough women, not enough people know how to host parties, know how to
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So have your girlfriends over for like once a month for different things.
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You can do a murder mystery party, like I mentioned, and just learn how to host by hosting.
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But also enjoy the the fun of hosting your friends, making, you know, choosing plates
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So you you cook something for them so that they can try it.
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You got an outfit that you want to share with your friends.
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So you decide to have a costume party or you decide to have like a dressy get together.
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I think that we don't do that enough in today's day and age.
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And it makes me really sad because I've found that people aren't comfortable having people
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at their homes because they think of it as like too much work.
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You will stand out if you are the person who hosts in your friend group.
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You will become that person that people think of as responsible, as fun, as dependable, but
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I mean, and then you can branch out like you can start off with just your girlfriends.
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And then if you want to start doing social events at your home or at your apartment, then
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You can sort of create a situation where you are setting up your own singles events in a
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And that's a fun way to introduce yourself to new people.
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I have this idea that I've mentioned to people before that you can do parties where it's
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like every person needs to bring someone that the host hasn't met.
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And so then you're getting a really cool, eclectic group of people, but they've been
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So you know that you're probably going to like the people they're bringing to.
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Number three is to experiment with your style and makeup.
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I talk about style quite a bit because I think that style is a reflection of your personality.
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Now you're, you're always constantly changing, but this is the time of your life where you're
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And so choosing clothing, figuring out your style at this point is going to be so much fun
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because you can choose what you want to wear, what you like, and really, you know,
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not take into consideration your spouse's tastes.
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So when you get married, it's important to dress in a way that your spouse finds attractive,
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that your spouse likes, that your spouse enjoys.
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And when you are single, you don't have to worry about that quite yet.
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Now, most of the time, the way that you dress actually will attract the kind of guy who is
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So if you discover that you really like to wear a lot of flower print dresses, you'll,
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because that is a reflection of your personality, you'll find that the guys you're attracting
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are attracted to women who wear flower print dresses.
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If you haven't really discovered your style yet, if you're just kind of doing leggings
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and sweatshirts, which not to say, that's not to say that isn't a style, but if you're
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doing it just because it's easy and without thinking, then you might address, you might
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And then as you discover your sense of style afterwards, maybe your husband doesn't like
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And then you kind of have to balance things a little more.
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Whereas if you figure out your style before you meet your husband, then you are attracting
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So that's a cool thing, but it also gives you room to just experiment in this time of
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I know that when I was single, I really went through quite a lot of different phases with the
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way that I dressed and I found by the time I met my husband that I really enjoyed dressing
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Now, at the time I wasn't dressing modestly quite yet, but now it's all incorporated into
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It's like modest and classic and that makes me really happy.
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Not everybody like enjoys the process and creativity of makeup as much as I do.
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That's something that I really love, but you can figure out your signature style.
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You can figure out if you are a red lip person, you can figure out if you are a foundation
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person, you can figure out if you like a cat eye, or you can figure out that maybe you really
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just like a tinted moisturizer and nothing more.
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But this is the time to discover what you're comfortable with when it comes to your makeup,
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If I could do one thing and nothing else, it would be mascara.
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And you'll find what is the most beautiful thing about you by discovering what makeup
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Number four is go to art classes or audition for theater productions.
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Who doesn't love learning a new skill in the arts?
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I, when I was younger in high school, I went to summer programs where I would learn how to
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I thought I was going to be a fashion designer.
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And once you get married and once you have kids, you're not going to have time to do a
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So this is the time to take an art class or to audition for a theater production that you
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want to try out for and see if you get to do because you'll have time to go to the rehearsals.
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I love the idea of finding things to do with your time that are both productive in the sense that
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you're creating something and actually just creative.
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Like you're doing something wonderful with your time where at the end you're saying, oh,
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I learned something or I made a project or I'm participating in a production that I'm really
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And that's something that you get to do when you're single.
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You'll have the opportunity, the time to do those things and you're improving yourself.
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These are such classic things that you get to take advantage of when you are single.
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So number four is go to art classes or audition for theater productions.
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Number five is volunteer for causes you care about.
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It's so important at this stage to put yourself in positions where you can help the things that
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So, for example, if you are pro-life, volunteering for pro-life organizations, volunteering at pregnancy
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crisis centers, you can make a difference in people's lives by giving your time for free.
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And think about already by all of the things that I'm talking about, like how much more
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you'll have on your schedule if you do these things and all in a positive way.
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You won't have time to be lonely if you are volunteering and going to art classes or being
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in theater productions or experimenting with your style, like hosting parties for your girlfriends
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And one of the things I always say, I'm getting a little sidetracked here, but one of the things
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I always say is dating a person who is busy is very attractive.
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When a guy asks you, are you busy like Thursday night or are you busy so-and-so time, if you
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are always free, it's much less attractive than if you are like, no, actually I'm busy that
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It's great when you have a busy schedule because then it doesn't look like you're desperate.
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And the truth is you don't want to be desperate.
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You don't want to have so much free time that you are always open to any date at any time
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You would rather have other engagements and other things that you're doing with your life
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So volunteering for causes you care about is number five.
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You're always enjoying time by a fireplace or with a cup of tea or in your little reading
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And you're just learning something, reading something, taking new information in.
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This is an amazing time of your life where you get to read without worrying about time.
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You can just read because you want to and because you enjoy it.
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And don't turn down opportunities to do other things because you're reading.
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I think that can cross into dangerous territory.
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But I think that if you have a few off minutes in an evening, instead of immediately hopping
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on Netflix or immediately hopping on Amazon Prime, consider just pulling out a book and
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reading because you'll always feel better when you finish a book than when you finish
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It's like in a way we think of reading as work.
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And I don't mean that in a bad way, but there's something like you accomplish something.
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You don't feel that same thing when you binge a show or when you binge a movie.
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You don't feel like you accomplish something by doing it.
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Number seven is find a church or a synagogue that you love.
00:29:38.640
This is the time to find a faith community that you enjoy.
00:29:44.960
And it's hard to do when you're single because a lot of faith communities are built around
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But there are faith communities that are built for singles.
00:29:53.460
And that doesn't necessarily mean that that's going to be the one that you stick with, obviously,
00:29:59.160
But at least having that support system when you're single can really make your life so
00:30:06.840
good and much better because other people are going through what you're going through.
00:30:11.040
And you're getting to serve God with people who are in the same place and stage of life.
00:30:15.160
Now, that doesn't mean that you can't find a church or synagogue that has a mix.
00:30:19.320
I mean, there are a ton that I know of where you have singles as well as married couples
00:30:25.120
with kids and everybody is together, which is a really great thing because then you're
00:30:29.060
getting to participate in the lives of young children, even when you don't have children
00:30:34.360
But finding a good church or synagogue that you connect with will make all the difference
00:30:41.680
when you are single because you will have that strength that comes from being part of a good
00:30:50.480
Number eight, if you have nieces and nephews or friends with children, babysit, learn how
00:31:00.840
I think a lot of people don't take don't know how to be around kids nowadays, like unless
00:31:07.280
you are from a family that has a lot of children and then your siblings have kids, a lot of people
00:31:23.680
But second of all, you learning how to interact with them, not even necessarily how to care
00:31:29.140
for them, although I think that's important, too.
00:31:30.740
But even just learning how to interact with kids is so important.
00:31:33.960
A lot of people don't even know how to do that.
00:31:35.860
They don't know that like kids like to be treated in many ways like little adults.
00:31:40.100
They want to be taken seriously and learning how to interact with kids is going to be so
00:31:51.060
I mean, even if you never have your own children, being somebody who's comfortable around kids
00:31:55.580
is so important and it's so lovely and it's so attractive.
00:32:00.040
So take the time now to learn how to do it because you will you will love it.
00:32:06.760
Being around babies, so fun being around kids, it's really it can bring you back to your own
00:32:18.220
So this is the time to learn how to act around kids, raise kids, take care of them.
00:32:31.180
And number nine is if you have nieces and nephews.
00:32:45.420
So I am somebody who believes that you should never say no to a first date.
00:32:50.200
I don't think you have to say yes to a second date.
00:32:52.960
But unless a guy's a creep or just really not not a good idea, say yes to every first date.
00:33:00.320
And you can decide what the length of that date will be in the sense that you if it's
00:33:05.380
a really promising situation, then maybe you can say, OK, I'll go to a movie and dinner
00:33:09.720
Or if it's somebody who you're like, I doubt that this is going to be anything like maybe
00:33:14.340
just a cup of coffee, but never say no because you don't know who the right guy is going to
00:33:22.540
And saying no to somebody that you assume is bad for you is just that it's an assumption.
00:33:31.560
On top of which, saying yes to every day you go on teaches you how to date.
00:33:41.420
It teaches you how to interact and get comfortable with someone on in a weird situation because
00:33:49.340
So going on as many dates as you can is my last piece of advice for how to embrace singledom
00:33:58.100
So those are the nine ways that you can go ahead and embrace this time of your life.
00:34:03.740
I think that you are an amazing time of your life and you should feel really good about it,
00:34:08.560
even if you are looking towards the future and you hope for more.
00:34:13.060
You hope for marriage, you hope for children, where you are now is not a bad place to be.
00:34:17.300
It's a beautiful place to be and you can do so much with the time that you have.
00:34:21.960
So enjoy it, love on it, be super happy about where you're at while also looking toward the
00:34:34.400
So this week we are in Parshat Shmos, Parshat Shmos, which is the first Torah portion in Exodus.
00:34:44.180
And oh my gosh, so much happens in this Parshat.
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I legitimately sat down to read it and I was like, oh, yay, this is the story of Egypt,
00:35:01.600
And I had forgotten how much happens in this Torah portion.
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I sat down and I started reading and I was like, well, I could talk about this.
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And I paused for a second and I was like, well, I guess I could, I could talk about this.
00:35:15.360
And then I paused and I was like, I could also talk about this.
00:35:22.020
And honestly, I had to talk with a friend for him to kind of say, you know,
00:35:33.560
So here is a summary of what's going on in this Parshat.
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First, the very beginning, Joseph dies and a new Pharaoh rises as king of Egypt.
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He hates the Jews and begins by taxing them excessively.
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And then he decrees that all baby boys must be thrown in the Nile.
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Because the Jews are multiplying like crazy, Pharaoh is nervous.
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He doesn't want to see them overtake the Egyptians and he doesn't like the Jews.
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He calls two Hebrew midwives and tells them that they're the ones who are going to take care of these Jewish boys.
00:36:10.500
And they tell them, they tell Pharaoh that they can't get there in time
00:36:14.180
because the women are so adept at burying the children themselves.
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00:36:25.100
His mother, Yochaved, I don't know how to say that in English, hides him for three months.
00:36:30.200
But when she can no longer hide him, she pushes him out into the Nile in a basket where he is rescued by none other than Pharaoh's daughter.
00:36:37.140
She asks for a Hebrew nursemaid and a little girl named Miriam, who happens to be Moses' brother, sister, rather, runs home to her own mother and uses Moses' own mother as his nursemaid.
00:36:53.400
So it's interesting because he's partly raised in Pharaoh's home, which is obviously incredibly Egyptian, and partly raised in his own mother's home, which is very Jewish.
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When he's grown, he sees an Egyptian striking a Jewish slave, and he kills the Egyptian.
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When Moses realizes what he's done and that people are beginning to know what he's done, he runs away to Midian.
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There he helps seven young women draw water from a well that a bunch of mean goat herds or shepherds had chased them away from.
00:37:34.980
And we still haven't even gotten to the burning bush.
00:37:38.360
The burning bush happens in this Torah portion.
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God speaks to Moses through the burning bush, and there's a very long and interesting conversation.
00:37:47.120
I debated whether I wanted to comment on it because Moses is so humble to the point where God actually gets frustrated.
00:37:54.140
Like, God gets angry at him for just constantly saying, shouldn't someone else do this?
00:38:06.380
Your brother is going to help you because Moses had a stutter, and Aaron, his brother, did not, and he was going to orate for him.
00:38:13.340
So God speaks to Moses and directs him to return to Egypt and save the Jewish people.
00:38:20.280
On Moses' way back to Egypt, he is attacked by a snake, monster kind of thing, and it's because he hadn't circumcised his son.
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So Zipporah recognized this because the snake had kind of swallowed Moses up until his nether regions, and she figured out, oh, this is a sign because we didn't circumcise our baby boy,
00:38:46.020
because we didn't know whether, like, there would be time for him to recover between our travel from Midian to Egypt.
00:38:54.660
So she quickly circumcises her son and saves Moses' life.
00:38:58.120
Moses and Aaron go to Pharaoh and ask him to release the Jews, and he only makes their work even harder and punishes them even more.
00:39:16.020
This iconic Moses in Egypt story, like, we have already done so much, and it's one Torah portion.
00:39:24.820
I know I keep going on about this, but I was shocked because, you know, to be honest, when you're in school, you're learning the chapters, the Parsha, like, the chapter itself, the Peric.
00:39:39.420
We did learn the Torah portions in the sense that every week we knew that there was going to be a different Torah portion.
00:39:45.260
But I always thought of it as more in the chapters as opposed to, like, the sections, as opposed to the portions.
00:39:53.920
So each chapter has a normal amount of information.
00:39:59.420
Each Torah portion is like a full story, which is incredible.
00:40:04.400
So as you can see, when I kind of run you through the story, through the summary here, you can see why I was like, okay, what am I going to talk about?
00:40:17.340
Looking back on this Parsha, it's insane to me that anyone could say that the Bible doesn't respect women or doesn't think women are strong.
00:40:31.280
We have the midwives who defend the Jewish people, right?
0.99
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Shifra and Pua are their names, and they are the ones who go to Pharaoh and tell him, like, sorry, bud, the Jewish women, they're just too good at having babies.
1.00
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Then we have the Jewish women themselves who bear their children so powerfully and so quickly that they can't even be stopped.
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Nobody could even stop the boys from being born because the women are so good at burying the children themselves.
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We have Yocheved, Moses' mother, who protects her child from death.
00:41:14.480
And then even then, she doesn't just, you know, give him up for death.
00:41:17.700
She tries to save his life by putting him on the Nile.
00:41:19.400
We have Pharaoh's daughter, who in kind of commentaries, we learn her name is Batia.
00:41:28.200
We have Miriam, Moses' sister, who brings Moses to the reeds.
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She's the one who brings him to the Nile and then brings her mother as a nursemaid to Pharaoh's daughter.
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And we have Tzipporah, who saves Moses by circumcising her own son.
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She's the one who figures out through God's signs what needs to be done.
00:41:54.020
The women in the Torah, in the Old Testament, are strong and bold and righteous.
00:42:00.380
And we have so much to learn from their example.
00:42:10.040
And this is where, you know, maybe why feminists would hate the Torah or why someone would say that the Torah is patriarchal.
1.00
00:42:18.500
Because the women in the Torah aren't strong physically.
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Men are stronger than women physically, okay?
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00:42:25.360
What the women in the Torah are strong in is the ways in which women are strong.
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But my point is, is that the women are strong in their own unique way because they are women.
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They are intuitive and can understand when God's message is being sent and can understand what God was trying to communicate with Zipporah and Moses.
00:43:13.040
And they save men and civilizations by being amazing at the things women are amazing at.
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When these women in the Parsha show their strength through real womanhood, that's when they are most strong, most effective, most brave.
00:43:35.980
It's not because they are trying to be something they're not.
00:43:38.520
It's not because they're trying to be stronger than men.
00:43:41.000
It's because they are being strong and amazing at the things that women are strong and amazing at.
1.00
00:43:48.700
I mean, the story of the midwives is truly incredible, right?
00:43:56.120
And then you've got the women themselves bearing their children because they know the decree that the baby boys are going to be killed.
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So they're going to bear their own children without any help if that means that their children will live.
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I love that the women in the Torah take such an important role in the story.
00:44:25.340
And you can see how important and present they are throughout.
00:44:34.540
So I can't wait to see the representation of women throughout the rest of it.
00:44:51.200
Okay, so we are on to our last portion, our last segment of the Classically Abbey podcast.
00:44:57.440
We've got a few questions here from premium subscribers of my Substack.
00:45:02.240
Just as a reminder, if you'd like to submit questions for the Classically Abbey podcast,
00:45:06.860
make sure to head over to classicallyabbey.substack.com
00:45:10.200
where you can become a subscriber for $7 a month.
00:45:12.940
Or if you subscribe for the whole year, you will get two months for free.
00:45:16.620
And you'll get access to a ton of other exclusive content.
00:45:23.960
I am a recent mom, a couple months behind you and currently working from home.
00:45:29.420
My husband is a psychiatrist and we have been married for five years.
00:45:35.700
I'm wondering how can a mom, how a mom can go out and make friends with other moms out there.
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00:45:42.600
To be honest, I feel out of place when I hang out with my post-college friends.
00:45:46.580
We are in completely different paths to the point I don't have much in common with them anymore.
00:45:50.500
I am worried because of our different lifestyles, we will drift apart.
00:45:54.620
I do care for them a lot, but it is difficult to make plans when they just want to go to bars
00:46:01.300
Anyway, I figured starting the new year, I will take this opportunity to look for other women
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Making friends as a new mom, especially at the beginning, is hard.
00:46:18.080
I would say at this stage, once, you know, your baby's more on a schedule,
00:46:21.820
once you're nursing a little less, once you've figured out nursing, like, it's a lot easier.
00:46:27.680
But first, let's talk about just your post-college friends.
00:46:31.560
I can understand why you're worried that you're going to drift apart.
00:46:34.460
My point of view on that is you can maintain friendships with people who are in a different
00:46:42.380
stage of life than you are, but you may not be as close until they're in a similar stage
00:46:48.720
of life, especially if they don't really get what you're doing.
00:46:54.700
If they're not really into the idea of you being a mom or into the idea of you being married,
00:47:03.760
And of course, you're not super happy to hear about their promiscuous lifestyle either
00:47:09.740
So I think that it's okay if during this period of time where they are in a very different stage
00:47:18.620
of life, you remain friends without necessarily going out of your way to hang out with them
00:47:25.640
in the situations you're not going to be comfortable in, right?
00:47:29.240
If you can go to brunch with them, if you can go to lunch, like, that's great.
00:47:35.660
But if you're being invited into parties or to bars that you're just not interested in,
00:47:41.960
And if the friendship grows apart a little bit during this time, that's okay.
00:47:46.900
You may end up finding that the friends that you make now, you will get even closer to than
00:47:52.580
the friends that you were close with at a different point in your life.
00:47:56.500
And it's possible that they may never come around to where you are and to what you're doing.
00:48:09.580
But if they naturally kind of come to a point where neither one of you, it doesn't really
00:48:17.900
And you don't have to feel bad about it because there are some friendships that are perfect
00:48:23.040
for the time of life and the stage of life that you're in when you make that friend.
00:48:28.540
And then as you grow and as you kind of go different ways, the friendship doesn't really
00:48:35.460
It doesn't, it's not a comment on either of you.
00:48:37.640
It's just a comment on where you're at and where you're going.
00:48:40.880
So don't worry too much if your friendships end up growing apart and being, going out
00:48:50.140
of your way to like go to a brunch or go to lunch.
00:48:52.860
But anything more than that, where you are putting yourself in a situation, going to,
00:48:58.100
you know, an event that you don't want to go to, don't do it.
00:49:02.480
Don't, don't put yourself in that, in that situation.
00:49:06.000
But as far as how to meet new moms, the way that I've met new moms is, I would say there
00:49:13.380
One, when you're pregnant and when you have babies, I think people are more open to you
00:49:23.820
So for example, when I was pregnant with Mr. Baby, I was getting my nails done and I heard
00:49:30.040
kind of like two seats down from me, a woman talking to her nail technician about her experience
00:49:39.020
giving birth and how she had given birth just a few weeks ago and all of that.
00:49:43.160
And I was eavesdropping a little bit, but I just interrupted and I was like, oh, when
00:49:53.960
And that woman and I became very good friends when I was living in Virginia.
00:50:00.540
So that's a way to meet moms is if you hear somebody talking about motherhood stuff in
00:50:04.560
a scenario like that, when you're getting your nails done, or if you're online at the
00:50:12.360
And honestly, once you talk to a stranger and you kind of make things fun, they're usually
00:50:21.680
And I know it sounds weird, but that has worked for me a number of times.
00:50:25.680
And it's kind of funny and also a great story about how you met someone.
00:50:29.520
I wish people were more comfortable with talking to somebody who they've never met before,
00:50:36.200
So I don't think anyone's going to look at you like you're crazy.
00:50:41.640
So I think that's a really good way to meet people.
00:50:44.840
But the best way that I've met people is through my synagogue.
00:50:51.660
Our synagogue, when we moved here, there were three other babies born the same week.
00:50:58.100
And I am very good friends with all three moms who also had babies at the same time.
00:51:03.440
And there's a bunch of other people who maybe don't have babies the exact same age, but have
00:51:07.340
babies kind of a year older or a couple of years older.
00:51:12.360
If you can join a church or a synagogue with women who are in the same age range, they don't
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have to be exactly in your exact, you know, one baby and that's it.
00:51:22.140
Or like, there are women I know who have four babies and that is great.
00:51:28.260
So I would say that finding a faith community where the members of your church or synagogue
00:51:36.160
are in your same stage of life, that is really the best way to meet new moms.
00:51:42.520
That has been my experience and it has been fantastic.
00:51:50.600
I grew up reformed Jewish, but don't agree at all with a lot of the values those temples
1.00
00:51:55.440
now push social justice in place of Judaism.
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Before I continue, I understand my husband grew up reform and he always called what did
00:52:18.900
The only other option semi close to me is Chabad.
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Can you offer some insight into the community or advice if my family joins?
00:52:27.360
So if you don't know, Chabad is kind of like outreach for Jews who are not observant.
00:52:34.500
And it's their goal is just to create a warm and welcoming environment to all Jews.
00:52:41.040
So the great thing about Chabad is that you will go to a synagogue and the rabbi is going
1.00
00:52:48.160
to be wearing a black hat and have a big beard and have a long black jacket on.
00:52:51.940
And the people who are there are going to be from every walk of life.
00:52:59.420
You'll have somebody there in a more modest dress like everybody there is just on their
00:53:06.140
And Chabad is there to provide a space for you to explore your Judaism more.
00:53:10.820
So the insight I can offer is it is going to be better than you think.
00:53:16.480
You might think, oh, this is a little awkward or this is a little weird.
00:53:20.520
It's not at all because they are incredibly accepting.
00:53:24.320
They just want to see more Jews interact with their Judaism.
00:53:31.100
So the community at Chabad, it really can range depending on where you live.
00:53:35.220
But you can have a community that is a little bit more freeform in the sense that there are
00:53:40.000
people who are just kind of looking for a hub and they are from all different walks of life
00:53:46.540
and they're all they drive there on Shabbos and they're all like different ages.
00:53:51.640
Or you could have a community that's a little bit more built up.
00:53:56.000
And so you'll have people there who are regulars and who come every Shabbos, who come every
00:54:01.680
Sabbath and who are a little bit more observant.
00:54:05.120
But they're still going to be welcoming to somebody who doesn't know much about Judaism.
00:54:09.500
So I don't know where you live, so I don't know what community you're going to be a part
00:54:13.480
But I would say don't be freaked out by the fact that the rabbi is going to look more
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religious than you are because he doesn't care where you're at.
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You are a premium subscriber, so you should be able to leave a comment.
00:54:44.720
And how long do you think someone should date before getting married?
00:54:55.740
So let's start with have you got any tips for a first date?
00:55:04.080
I also have done a speech on it or about dating generally.
00:55:14.640
If you're going to do makeup, do your makeup in a way that accentuates your features doesn't
00:55:20.000
So you always want and this is it goes for your hair, too.
00:55:24.220
And honestly, it goes for the way that you dress.
00:55:26.340
You want to do something that shows who you are, shows what you look like and doesn't
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obscure it behind puffy clothes or behind green eyeshadow or behind a crazy color wig.
00:55:41.220
I don't know why someone would wear a wig on a date, but who knows?
00:55:43.280
I'm trying to be as close to your actual appearance as possible while accentuating the best parts
00:55:50.660
That's the goal because you want the guy that you're going on a date with to actually see
00:56:03.700
Date number two is when you start asking big questions.
00:56:06.440
Date number two is when you start asking big questions, but date number one, that's when
00:56:10.320
you are going to want to just see if you and this person have fun together.
00:56:16.020
I think that's really the thing for a first date is are you interested in the second date?
00:56:21.260
Are you even interested in going out again and seeing if you guys like each other?
00:56:28.580
You don't have to go off your list quite yet and see how you get along.
00:56:32.580
See if you enjoy this person's company and just see how that chemistry is.
00:56:37.420
How long do you think someone should date before getting married?
00:56:40.320
So I OK, because the the way the question is phrased is a little confusing because it's
00:56:46.900
before getting married as opposed to getting engaged.
00:56:51.760
OK, so here's what we're going to here's what I'm going to say.
00:56:54.540
It should take you, in my opinion, no longer than a year to figure out maybe a year and a
00:56:59.520
half to figure out if you are right for someone.
00:57:04.820
If you've asked the big questions early on, if you have chemistry, if your families get
00:57:11.860
Now you're just testing and testing and testing and wasting time.
00:57:35.540
No longer than a year because engagement is the hardest time of a relationship.
00:57:39.500
Everyone's going to tell you it's the romantic, you know, lovey dovey honeymoon period.
00:57:43.760
It's not engagement is hard because you're planning a wedding, you are dealing with families
00:57:49.640
who have opinions about that wedding, and you are standing on the edge of a diving board
00:57:55.600
And the longer you're waiting to make a commitment, the longer you question whether or not it's
00:58:01.700
And it has nothing to do with whether it's the right commitment to make.
00:58:04.460
It's just that it's so uncomfortable waiting to actually do something this huge and this
00:58:17.700
I my husband and my engagement was five and a half months.
00:58:27.700
So ours was more expedited than many people's, but it was it worked for us.
00:58:42.000
A woman should pay on a date if you guys are in are not earning your own money.
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00:58:50.060
So, for example, if you guys are dating in high school or if you guys are dating in college
00:58:54.760
and you're the guy you're on a date with is getting, you know, a stipend from his parents
00:58:59.140
and you're getting a stipend from your parents and you guys are living off of your parents money.
00:59:03.620
Why should his parents be paying for all of his dates?
00:59:07.340
Uh, I think that it can cross into dangerous territory if, you know, if the guy is taking
00:59:16.520
But I'll be honest, I am not a huge I don't think that a man has to pay on every date because
00:59:24.700
Like I was thinking about kosher food is super expensive.
00:59:27.980
If a guy took a girl out to dinner every time he took a girl out on a date, he would be
00:59:33.600
out at like one hundred and fifty dollars once a week.
00:59:40.980
So I understand the concept of splitting the bill.
00:59:44.320
And I know that's really funny because I'm classic and that's my thing.
00:59:47.420
But I also think that lessening the burden of the cost of a meal and allowing people to
00:59:57.580
just enjoy each other's company as opposed to being concerned about what the other person
01:00:02.240
I'm not I don't think that's the worst thing in the world.
01:00:06.800
And if a guy like wants to make a girl feel taken care of.
01:00:10.040
But and maybe the first date the guy should pay.
01:00:12.400
But like, again, I'm pretty flexible on that topic, because when Jacob and I started dating,
01:00:18.540
we split a lot of our dates and I was totally fine with that because I was like, yeah, that
01:00:28.760
But you can also kind of get the vibe from him and decide, OK, is he being a jerk or is
0.99
01:00:36.320
And like, it makes sense that we're going to split it.
01:00:43.500
And that is today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast.
01:00:49.340
If you did, make sure to subscribe anywhere you listen to podcasts.
01:00:52.920
You can get a notification about next episode, about all of the future episodes.
01:00:57.060
And make sure to stay tuned because we're going to have some really fun interviews coming
01:01:01.520
I also would love if you would consider subscribing to my YouTube channel and to my Substack newsletter.
01:01:06.220
And if you're not following me on social media, it's at Classically Abbey.
01:01:10.360
Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you guys in the next one.