The Classically Abby Podcast - Ep 3 ｜ Sarah Therese On Being A Young Mom, Balancing It All, And What Femininity REALLY Looks Like

00:00:00.140 Chatting with Sarah Therese about all things motherhood, homemaking, and leaving YouTube to focus on family.

00:00:07.560 All this and more on today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast.

00:00:11.980 So I am so excited to have you on today. I'm so excited you're here.

00:00:35.360 Hey, me too.

00:00:37.080 Yeah, well I'm so glad we connected behind the scenes.

00:00:39.400 It's always fun to meet another YouTuber and another social media content creator.

00:00:45.480 It is cool. It's nice to feel like you're not the only one out there.

00:00:50.580 I feel like so much of the time we follow people and we see people and we're like, oh, this is nice.

00:00:54.420 But we never get to connect on a personal level.

00:00:57.880 So the fact that we've been able to do that is great.

00:01:00.720 And then when I look at your content, I view it as like, oh, this is the stuff my friend is putting out versus just like another face on the internet.

00:01:06.600 So it feels, it feels personal. It feels good. I like it.

00:01:10.360 Yeah, right. And it's like, oh, I get to like this friend of mine's content and I know I'm supporting them.

00:01:15.620 And that's really cool.

00:01:17.060 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:01:19.040 So I want to have you introduce yourself to my subscribers and tell them a little bit about how you got started on YouTube.

00:01:26.340 And then what your message is for your followers, because you've kind of had this whole journey, this transition in a lot of different ways.

00:01:33.200 So I think it's fascinating.

00:01:35.260 Oh, wow. Yeah, it's such a journey.

00:01:37.580 I mean, like I started social media before social media was even like a full on word.

00:01:42.760 I started over 10 years ago.

00:01:44.880 I was like 16.

00:01:46.980 I was still living at home and I grew up in a homeschool family.

00:01:51.280 So everything that I did, I was always grouped with another sibling or all of them.

00:01:56.820 So if one of us worked at McDonald's, someone else did.

00:01:59.740 If one of us was doing art or dance, someone else was.

00:02:02.460 If someone was skiing, another person was snowboarding beside them.

00:02:05.520 And I just, I had this desire to do something different.

00:02:10.020 I've always been kind of a creative, crafty person as well.

00:02:13.720 So I was like, how can I, how can I do something different, be crafty and just kind of really keep this as my own, something that I can invest myself in.

00:02:22.380 So I started doing YouTube before YouTube was even like a big platform.

00:02:26.360 Like there was other video platforms that were so much bigger than YouTube, but I looked at it and I was like, oh, this is beautiful.

00:02:33.040 And it's something that I started off with a lot of kind of like outward appearance.

00:02:38.240 It was hair, it was beauty.

00:02:40.000 And, and that's, I guess it's like a 15, 16 year old.

00:02:43.740 That was really important to me.

00:02:45.620 And then as time went on and I got married and I had kids, it totally flipped to something that was less about what we looked like and more about the heart and like what we did and sharing my ordinary life.

00:02:58.520 I guess what I really want to put out to my followers is that I'm sharing my ordinary.

00:03:04.400 I'm not doing anything wickedly fancy or doing anything just for the sake of showing it on social media.

00:03:11.360 My life is ordinary and I feel like that's what people enjoy.

00:03:16.280 And that's, that's really what I want to put out to my following is I don't want people to look at me and go, wow, she's glamorous and all this stuff.

00:03:25.720 The message I want to put forward is I have an ordinary life and this is how I find joy in it.

00:03:32.340 And I feel like a lot of people can appreciate that.

00:03:36.980 So this reminds me of a movie that I, I personally really like called About Time and the ending.

00:03:43.640 He talks about how it's like his ordinary, extraordinary life, just that having an ordinary life.

00:03:49.260 Like, and in the movie, it's not about this, but I think for us it is, you know, living an ordinary life in service of God makes it extraordinary.

00:03:57.040 For sure.

00:03:58.020 I mean, it gives value to everything we do.

00:04:00.680 And, and that's what I, that's what I love is, is, is having just honestly this normal, ordinary, I do dishes and I take care of kids, but there's value in what I do because it's, it's, yeah, it's for, it's for God's glory.

00:04:15.500 And, and that's why it's beautiful.

00:04:16.800 And that's why I love to do it.

00:04:18.740 It's not just surface level.

00:04:19.820 It's so, so deep.

00:04:21.120 I think that's so important.

00:04:23.380 And I know that so many people need to see that on the internet because we see so many people who are showing off how amazingly fancy their lives are, or just showing all of the like perfection and this pursuit of perfection.

00:04:37.120 That's just not real.

00:04:38.520 And seeing people live an ordinary life is really good.

00:04:43.080 Like it makes you stronger in the way that you approach your life, I think.

00:04:49.040 Yeah.

00:04:49.520 Yeah.

00:04:50.640 So how did you know that you wanted to be a young mama and that you wanted a big family? 0.98

00:04:56.320 Because that's like a big staple of what you, of what you kind of show is that you're what, 20, how old are you now?

00:05:02.880 27?

00:05:03.940 Oh, I am 27.

00:05:05.440 I'll be 28 in April.

00:05:07.500 Okay.

00:05:08.120 Okay.

00:05:08.480 So I was, I got the age right.

00:05:09.900 And you have five kiddos.

00:05:12.160 Yeah.

00:05:12.600 Yeah.

00:05:13.260 I know.

00:05:13.840 I know.

00:05:14.940 It's wild.

00:05:16.200 It's wild.

00:05:16.780 But I, I highly recommend it for young people.

00:05:19.660 So when, uh, when I got married, I was 19 and me and my husband kind of had it made up like, Oh, we'll give ourselves a couple of years before having kids.

00:05:28.840 And there was, uh, like older couples around us that were, uh, just married and they decided we're going to travel.

00:05:36.400 We're going to do all this stuff before we have kids.

00:05:38.680 And me and Kieran realized really early on that, uh, we didn't have the means of traveling.

00:05:45.040 We didn't have the time to do it and we didn't have the money to do it.

00:05:47.520 And, um, I, I remember not even wanting to be like all these other people and, uh, traveling and doing all this like really beautiful stuff together.

00:05:59.240 I remember not wanting that, but praying and being like, Lord, what do you, what do you want from me?

00:06:04.960 Because I, I need something here and I'm missing something here.

00:06:07.440 So very early on, we realized because we didn't have the means to, to travel and do all this fancy stuff, we have the means to be really young parents and be cool young parents.

00:06:17.920 So that was, uh, something that was really laid on my heart and then also Kieran's heart as well to be young parents.

00:06:25.960 And the interesting thing about it is I wasn't looking at any of my friends going, Oh, you're a young mom.

00:06:32.720 I want to be a young mom.

00:06:33.860 I was the only married and young mom in my friends group.

00:06:38.960 So there was no sort of, I liked the idea of being a young mom.

00:06:43.360 Cause I can be a young mom with my friend.

00:06:45.040 And it was really like when I decided and the Lord laid it on my heart to be a young mom, it was like, Oh no, in so many ways, because I knew I was going to be lonely and I knew it was going to be a hard transition.

00:06:58.920 But I also know, honestly, my entire growing up years, I was the mom.

00:07:05.140 I remember someone telling me that I wasn't the oldest sibling.

00:07:08.100 So I have two older brothers and a younger sister.

00:07:10.280 And for years I thought I was the oldest sibling out of all of them because I naturally just had this mothering, like nurturing heart and I want to take care of things.

00:07:20.080 And, uh, I also want to have control over things.

00:07:22.560 So the idea of being a young mom was like, wow.

00:07:25.180 And, and, uh, but I remember a woman coming up to me at our church and being like, you realize you're not the oldest sibling, like out of your siblings.

00:07:34.520 And that never clicked for me.

00:07:36.920 And I was absolutely shocked by that.

00:07:38.660 So the idea of becoming a young mom made sense, money-wise, time-wise, and also just, I love the idea of pouring out my heart to not just children, but my children.

00:07:50.580 This felt, uh, important to me.

00:07:53.220 This felt, uh, like something that would be extremely fulfilling.

00:07:57.280 And it was something that Kieran was really excited about too.

00:08:01.000 So the idea of being a young mom, the more I thought about it, the more, the less I had to think about it just because it was so obvious, uh, of a decision to make.

00:08:12.420 So we literally, we got married and a year later I had my daughter, Ivy at the age of 20.

00:08:19.540 Oh my gosh.

00:08:20.300 It's so funny because I talked to my husband about this, Jacob, and to my mom about it, honestly, the idea that I think we live in a culture that encourages people to like do all this fun stuff, fun stuff.

00:08:35.080 I put in quotations as if parenting isn't fun, but like this fun stuff while they're young, like travel the world, spend your money in kind of a frivolous way.

00:08:44.280 And my perspective on that has totally shifted as I realized, why don't we encourage people like while they're in their healthy, young, trying to save money years, why don't we encourage them to like be young parents?

00:08:59.400 And in, you know, you can pull an all nighter when you're 20 and it doesn't kill you in the same way it does when you're 37, right?

00:09:05.840 So like if you have a baby at 37, it's a lot harder than when you're 20.

00:09:09.240 Right. And, you know, at that time, you're not thinking about how you can't spend, you know, a certain amount of money because you need to save for a house, for example.

00:09:19.420 You're doing everything at the time, like when you're young.

00:09:22.340 And then by the time you're in your 50s, 60s, your kids are grown, they're in college, they're getting married, they're having children.

00:09:27.560 That's when you can spend your money a little bit more frivolously because you don't have to worry about those costs and you're not stressing about those costs anymore.

00:09:34.120 That's right. Me and Kieran always say, we're going to be such cool young grandparents.

00:09:40.380 Like, and I think it was my sister, Rachel, who recently said, she said, if your daughter Ivy is anything like you, you'll be a grandma in less than 14 years, in less than 14 years.

00:09:52.800 And that is insane to me. But I love the idea of all the kids being out of the house and me and Kieran are still young and we still get to enjoy each other.

00:10:02.040 And then we also get to witness our kids becoming parents and then those kids becoming parents, right?

00:10:08.520 So I feel like because we started earlier, we get to live our lives in a very different way than people who started later.

00:10:15.860 And a lot of people will choose to start later.

00:10:19.060 And there's so many people that wish they could have started sooner and they weren't able to.

00:10:24.940 So like there's grace there, but I highly recommend if you can get married young and can have kids young, do it, but also be very, very intentional with who you choose to do that with.

00:10:39.280 Yeah, I think that's great advice. I love that.

00:10:41.700 So one of the things I got, I got to ask, because I actually, before we knew each other, a friend of mine and I used to watch your videos and we would talk about you homeschool, create content, you raise your kiddos, you're a wonderful wife.

00:11:00.200 Wow.

00:11:01.120 How do you manage it all? How do you keep all of the plates in the air? As a mom, as a mom of only one little toddler, I'm trying to create content.

00:11:11.040 I'm still like, I've never vacuumed. Like I've never washed a dish. I just don't have time to do anything.

00:11:17.780 So I'm, I'm always wondering how do people like you get it all done?

00:11:23.180 How do I get it all done?

00:11:26.980 It's not, it's not easy. And I think so many people look at my life and they're wanting that easy explanation of like, oh, the X, Y, and Z. And that's, that's not what it is at all.

00:11:36.280 Um, when it comes down to it, scheduling is huge for me. Uh, I have a lot of friends who will, uh, be like, oh, Sarah, I wish, I wish you could just do things last minute.

00:11:47.760 And I just can't like, they know if they, Hey, last minute, you want to go here? Want to do this? I absolutely can't because my whole week, maybe my whole month is really rigorously scheduled out.

00:11:58.320 Uh, it's also finding, uh, joy and saying no to people for the sake of my own, uh, mental health, for the sake of my kids, my husband and, and how our home works.

00:12:08.840 Um, and you know what, there was that time of YouTube where I was thriving and doing great. And then all of a sudden I felt, um, overly busy and preoccupied with it.

00:12:21.900 And in my heart, let me adjust my earpiece in my heart. I felt, um, a pull, uh, towards my kids. And I felt kind of embarrassed and ashamed about the amount of time that I was starting to put into YouTube and forgetting about my kids.

00:12:38.740 So I, I had to learn to actually say no to YouTube. So, so many people are like, oh, I can say no to this and that. Um, and those are small things.

00:12:47.520 But for me, I have, I've learned to say no to big things in order to make my life work, uh, properly and, and to love on my family properly.

00:12:56.300 But I mean, say no to things. Scheduling is huge. Um, raising independent children is huge as well.

00:13:03.840 I recently saw a comment on one of my videos talking about like, how do you get your kids to not be on you all the time? And you're like, mom, hold me, hug me, touch me, be with me.

00:13:13.720 And, uh, and it just comes down to raising independent kids. And, uh, I also learned very early on that the more that I reach out to my kids, the less they will rely on themselves to reach out to me.

00:13:25.160 So basically what that is, is if, if you're not reaching out to your kids enough, they're going to be here all the time, all around you because they're going, I have to rely on my two year old, three year old, four year old self to get my mom's attention.

00:13:40.600 When really what we can be doing for our kids is I'm going to give you the attention that you need.

00:13:46.320 And they won't feel like they have that obligation to reach out because you're doing it first. Uh, and that's a huge key to raising independent kids is I'm here for you. And I'm going to let you know that first.

00:13:59.460 So you don't have to be around me all the time looking for that type of security and attention. So my, and my kids are amazing, but I did, I did have to leave YouTube for the sake of them.

00:14:10.940 And then Kieran also had to leave his job and start working at home with us so we could continue this. So our lives are very different. It's not traditional, but we try to honor the Lord through it. And also just really love on each other as a family and take care of these kiddos. It's wild.

00:14:28.140 I will tell you my every day is so wild and so busy. Uh, but I love it. I really, really love it. And it's changing all the time because I have ages from seven to newborn. So they're all in, in different stages, but yeah, it's, it's crazy, but I love it.

00:14:46.000 I love that. No, I mean, I think that it is so important to keep a schedule. And also I love exactly what you're saying about, about reaching out to your kids. So they don't have to feel like they have to reach out to you first.

00:14:57.240 I, I, I try with my son to, um, kind of build into our day moments where I'm totally focused on him, even at this age where I'm like, let's read a book. And he's like, does read a book mean I ripped the book? And I'm like, okay, sure.

00:15:13.120 Does that, whatever, whatever you need for us to feel like we're spending time together. And a lot of the time that just means it's very interesting because you would think it means like really interactive play.

00:15:25.660 That, that would make him feel like he's getting enough attention from me. But often it's just, I, you know, this is him speaking. I want to play while mommy sits here and just watches.

00:15:36.400 Like I, I, I, he doesn't want to roll a ball back and forth necessarily. He wants to play while I just am there with him and not on my phone and not doing anything else. And that is such an interesting way to look at things. And I think also I've had to learn that so much of parenting, I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves in the modern era to entertain our children, as opposed to have them come along with us with what we're doing.

00:16:02.660 So I built him like a little stool to help me at the counter. And instead of saying, okay, you go over there and do something else. And I know, I know he's a baby, but I still want him to be involved. So I was like, okay, yeah, you're going to play with the pieces while I'm building things.

00:16:16.460 For sure. I know if, if we welcome our kids to do things alongside us, then they'll always feel like they're there and they're always involved. And like, I have random jars of old kidney beans and rice and whatever. And if I am making something and I, maybe I don't want my kids to touch it.

00:16:34.940 I will have my bowl of things that I'm actually doing in the kitchen that will be for dinner or whatever. And, uh, I will have my one and a half year old beside me on a stool and she has dried beans and she is mimicking what I'm doing. 0.94

00:16:48.180 They just want to be close and they want to be involved and they want to also know that they're welcome to do so. Um, the worst thing I feel like you can do as a parent is go to your room, go to your room and then close the door.

00:16:59.740 And they're by themselves. Um, our kids learn and heal and grow when they're right beside us. And if they know they're welcomed right beside us pretty much constantly, they won't feel like they have to be beside us constantly because in the back of their minds, they know, Hey, whenever I need be by mama or Peppa or even each other as siblings, uh, I have the ability to do so. So yeah, that's how it is.

00:17:25.280 I love it. Okay. Let's talk about embracing femininity because, you know, you, I would say your fashion and style is a little bit different than like typical femininity, but you are an incredibly feminine person, an incredibly feminine woman. So what does femininity look like to you?

00:17:44.640 Yeah, I, I, um, I've had a lot of people be like, well, you don't look very girly to me. And, and I think, I think femininity is really, it's a heart thing there. I have a friend and, um, she has a full on shaved head. She's like six foot three and she wears, she wears very, uh, masculine looking clothes, but she's one of the most feminine people that I know. 1.00

00:18:11.000 And that's, that comes really from her heart and how she takes care of her family and on all this stuff. But I mean, femininity to me personally is, is a nurturing heart. Uh, and I know we're going to talk about Exodus in a little bit and I'm excited about that.

00:18:27.180 But I think, uh, the, the women in the beginning thinking about, uh, the Hebrew midwives and, uh, Moses mother and his, uh, his sister Miriam and even Pharaoh's own daughter, what sets them apart is their nurturing hearts.

00:18:43.720 Like, honestly, you see that with Miriam taking care of Moses and the mother as well and the Hebrew midwives and right down to Pharaoh's own daughter. There is something, uh, that defines a female in, in, in a very different way than, than male. And it's, it's a nurturing heart.

00:19:02.420 And you see an exodus that nurturing, loving mothering heart saves and it is powerful and beautiful and is strong. And too many people look at femininity and see it as being something very weak.

00:19:15.880 And therefore they don't want to be involved and they push themselves away from it. Where for me, I'm like, this is strength and not like girl boss, girl power. Not like that, but this is an inward beauty that too many people, uh, push aside or degrade. So for me, femininity is such a hard thing. And, uh, and I know some girls that dress so girly to the nines, like crazy, but there's not an ounce of femininity in them. 0.91

00:19:45.700 You know what I mean? So for me, it's that nurturing mothering. I want to take care of you and protect you and love on you kind of heart beyond just your own kids and your own family. Yeah. And you're so feminine. Like I look at you and I'm like your hair, like you're so feminine outwardly, but it's, it's all the more so inwardly that I, that I see it of you and the content you create and how you love on your family.

00:20:10.300 And it's beautiful, but it has to be focused inward because outward doesn't matter that it's the inward. And I, and I see that in you and I love that.

00:20:20.800 I, uh, I totally agree. And it's something that I, I've had to change and grow over time because initially I was very, I was like you, you kind of described how your first videos on your channel were much more like outwardly focused and mine were too.

00:20:35.240 And I talked a lot about kind of the classic look a lot of the time. And I actually had to make a video just a couple of weeks ago about how classic sort of changes over time and how a lot of it becomes a lot more focused on.

00:20:50.440 Being the kind of person people can depend on and how you can embrace femininity in different ways. Uh, but I do think that it's a hard thing. I totally agree with you. So here's my question.

00:21:01.820 What's your best piece of advice for young women who are dating and how can they embrace their femininity before and that nurturing quality in that stage of life when you're single?

00:21:14.840 I mean, those are two different questions, really? How do you like dating advice? And then also just how to embrace femininity when you're single and that nurturing nature?

00:21:22.940 Yeah, because it's hard because that's why so many girls get a puppy or a cat because, because that they have that natural inclination of like, I'm just going to take care of you. 1.00

00:21:33.320 Um, but I mean, embracing femininity when you're single, I wouldn't say is a hard, but you have to, uh, maybe look for it or, or build yourself up in it.

00:21:47.780 So like before I got married, I was already working towards being a good homemaker and, and that, that looks different for everyone.

00:21:57.280 For me, a priority in being a good homemaker was, um, organizing and knowing how I would lay things out and cooking and, and also just being, I don't want to say like an appealing person to be around, but someone that, that Kieran would enjoy coming home to.

00:22:13.480 So again, it's working in, uh, your heart when it comes to that stuff.

00:22:17.560 But I mean, like, you know what, girl, my advice, my advice for, for these young ladies going out and dating is stop dating men that you wouldn't be proud to have, uh, as your own son. 0.99

00:22:29.900 There are so many women out there that are dating absolute scum and these horrible guys. 0.99

00:22:39.560 And my question is, would you be proud of this man that you're dating if he was your son? 1.00

00:22:45.500 And the answer most of the time is no, I wouldn't be proud because he talks like this.

00:22:49.780 He acts like this.

00:22:50.620 This is how he acts around his friends versus his mom and all this stuff.

00:22:53.700 I remember when I first started dating Kieran and I thought I would love to have kids just like you.

00:23:00.740 That was really important to me.

00:23:02.920 Um, dating can also, I know a lot of people look at it as being super casual, but to myself, uh, you're given little pieces of your heart out.

00:23:11.900 So be intentional when it comes to who you're dating.

00:23:14.480 I only ever dated one person and now I'm married to him and have carried five of his children.

00:23:19.360 So, um, so I was very, very, very careful and, and I'm so thankful that I was, but yeah, when it comes to whoever you're dating, just be thoughtful about it.

00:23:29.020 Is this the kind of person you would want to raise your daughters, you know, like think this stuff through because this stuff is important and dating is not the only way that you can get to know someone as well.

00:23:40.100 There's other ways you can get to know people without having to break off little pieces of your, of your beautiful heart, uh, and sacrificing them in, in honestly, really sad ways.

00:23:50.840 So that's my mom dating advice.

00:23:53.760 I love it. I love it. And it's a different perspective than I've heard before, because usually you hear don't date some, at least for me, my advice is usually don't date someone that you wouldn't want to be the father of your children.

00:24:07.180 That's right. That's right. Hi, Elizabeth is here. What your phone, your lip gloss.

00:24:13.120 Oh, your phone. Hey, go see if Papa can find your phone and your lip gloss, which is not real lip gloss, because I do not let my three-year-old wear lip gloss.

00:24:25.240 Hey, go find your Papa.

00:24:28.520 Oh, and don't go into Calvin's room or Molly's room, just because they're napping.

00:24:35.280 Oh, yes.

00:24:36.720 Loving parenthood. I love it. My baby is on a walk with his dad so that he can take a nap because he wouldn't go down before this, uh, for this recording. So, you know,

00:24:50.060 You have to do what you have to do, especially when you work from home. The amount of, uh, the amount of prep that just goes into you trying to make content where your kids aren't hanging off the walls is insane.

00:25:01.740 So, are you back? Hold on. Let me text. Oh, it's a different one. If you have lots of kids, this will happen. Here, let me text Kieran. Here, come on out. Come on out. And don't, hey, Calvin, and don't go in your room just because Edmund is sleeping.

00:25:18.780 Yes, Calvin?

00:25:20.740 What did Ellie say to you? 1.00

00:25:23.000 I have no idea because my friend Abby is in my ears. He's like, wow, your friend Abby is in your ears.

00:25:31.740 Well, I think that that's a good place to stop the interview portion and move into the faith section, but let's get into it.

00:25:42.280 Okay, let's do it.

00:25:43.620 Okay, so for our faith talk, before we get into it, I wanted to ask you, how do you engage with your faith each and every day? Like, what's something you do every day to engage with your faith?

00:25:54.700 Um, it's, you know what I realized is growing up, my faith was, make sure you read your Bible in the morning, and then it was done. And, and it was a, my faith growing up was a checklist.

00:26:09.080 Oh, I did this and check it off. And, and, you know, that is a bad thing. I know some people are like, Oh, that's not a bad thing, because you're still reading your Bible. I'm like, No, no, no, that was a bad thing.

00:26:19.600 So now engaging with my faith every day is that it's not turned off. And I don't look at it as Oh, checkmark is done. It is a constant thing, whether I'm in the word or prayer.

00:26:29.840 Um, I love listening to the Bible, I'm doing a read to the Bible listening thing with my church, which is great. And then also engaging with your faith is is made easy and quite beautiful when your kids are knowing about the Lord. And then also when your husband loves the Lord as well. And it's like a group family thing. And you're just surrounded by it and, and worship music and all that stuff.

00:26:57.340 So engaging with my faith, it's just the idea that I don't want to live with a checkmark. It's, it's more of a savings account where I'm just continually pouring myself into it. So it's, it's as simple as that. And if you're, if you do that, it becomes habit, it becomes normal. And, and you can't help but pray or read the word or desire it, you could say.

00:27:20.520 Yeah, I love it. I love it. So everyone, listen to that, take it into your own lives.

00:27:27.340 Uh, so the, what I wanted to talk about today. So every week we talk about, uh, the Torah portion that we're reading and this week's Torah portion in Hebrew is called Va'era, which means, and I appeared in English.

00:27:40.400 And this is the second Torah portion in Exodus. So we are getting deep into the redemption from Egypt story. Uh, God tells Moses that he's going to redeem the children from the children of Israel from Egypt.

00:27:51.260 Moses and Aaron repeatedly come to Pharaoh, asking for him to let his, asking for him to let the people go. And Pharaoh says, no, and to show God's power, Aaron, Aaron turns his staff into a snake.

00:28:03.460 Pharaoh's necromancers replicate the trick, but to their surprise, Aaron's snake eats their snakes. Uh, so that's pretty interesting. And Pharaoh remains hard hearted.

00:28:13.100 So one of the things I wanted to talk about, uh, because this is something I learned about in school. And I don't know if you ever focused on this, uh, when you were studying the Old Testament is the verse,

00:28:40.800 but the Lord strengthened Pharaoh's heart and he did not hearken to him, hearken to them as the Lord spoke to Moses. Did you guys ever talk about that in?

00:28:49.560 Oh, no, no, not too much. You know what? When, um, whenever we went into Exodus, we were full on deep into just learning about the plagues. And I, and I, I feel like, Oh, I really liked learning about the plagues, but there are certain things,

00:29:05.800 especially when it came to Pharaoh. Cause what an interesting person, uh, that we didn't look, uh, deep into, but I think just in that verse in general,

00:29:14.840 it's like, you are reminded who is in control. God is in control. And he is the one that is controlling Pharaoh here for his glory. Um, but no, we never,

00:29:24.500 like, if I could have done a character study on anyone in the Bible, uh, it probably would have been Pharaoh or Boaz,

00:29:31.680 because I think those people are just absolutely phenomenal. Yes. Boaz is wonderful. And, uh, Pharaoh is,

00:29:39.360 is, uh, so interesting. And so I, I always, I wanted to talk about this verse because I think it's fascinating,

00:29:46.940 right? Because this is the only time in this specific Torah portion that it says that God strengthened his

00:29:53.280 heart. Every other verse, it says that Pharaoh hardened his own heart. So why would God go out of his way

00:30:01.680 to harden Pharaoh's heart? If the whole point of the plagues is for him to try to convince Pharaoh to let

00:30:08.440 the children of Israel go? Like, why would God do that? Oh, that's a good question. Right? Can I call a friend?

00:30:19.040 So I, I was trying to think about it and I've thought about, and there's a lot of commentaries

00:30:24.060 that kind of think, talk about this idea, but I had an idea and I'm not nearly as smart as the

00:30:29.960 commentaries, but I will share what I thought. And then I want to hear maybe what you think about it.

00:30:34.100 Cause I think we can kind of start a discussion about it, which is this passage, this verse

00:30:38.420 immediately follows this verse. And the necromancers could not stand before Moses because of the boils.

00:30:45.800 This is the plague. We're on the boils for the boils were upon the necromancers and upon all of Egypt. 0.66

00:30:51.860 So throughout the plagues, the necromancers try to replicate the plagues that God rains down on the

00:30:57.320 Egyptians. And if they can, it proves to Pharaoh that God isn't real. He's not powerful. Like it's 0.94

00:31:03.020 not a big deal. Okay. Blood's coming out of the Nile. Well, my necromancers can do the same thing.

00:31:07.160 So this must not be that, that cool. Uh, this is the first time that the necromancers not only can't

00:31:14.680 replicate it, but they can't even appear before Moses because they were so affected by God.

00:31:20.060 Right. And this is the first time that Pharaoh is seeing how truly powerful God is. So here's where

00:31:29.120 my idea comes in. What does it mean that God hardened his heart? Not that God actively hardened

00:31:35.380 Pharaoh's heart, but actually what it could mean is that seeing God's miracle so clearly

00:31:42.180 hardened Pharaoh's heart because he didn't want to acknowledge that there was a God above him.

00:31:46.900 And the clearer it became that God was the one doing the miracles, the more he fought it.

00:31:53.820 For sure. Because, because up to that point, he was anti-God, you know, he was, he was obsessed with,

00:32:02.080 uh, with, uh, the sun God and all that stuff. And each plague is actually attacking another Egyptian 1.00

00:32:08.360 God, which I find is so amazing. But, um, a lot of people, uh, when it really clicks, there is a God,

00:32:16.240 there's that fear in their hearts because they look back and go, how have I lived my life? And it's

00:32:23.040 intimidating. And also people are intimidated by miracles because there are things that really

00:32:27.660 can't be explained. Uh, a miracle is unfathomable. It can feel awkward, obviously for Pharaoh, he's

00:32:33.980 extremely uncomfortable. So, so that whole idea of him actually seeing there is a God, um, that is

00:32:42.480 terrifying for him. And also like his necromancers, they are just the craziest people because if,

00:32:49.280 if I were them, and if I had that kind of power, instead of when they turn the, when God turns the 0.90

00:32:56.780 Nile into blood or whatever, the last thing Pharaoh needs here is for more water to be turned into blood.

00:33:03.280 If you are really powerful necromancers, why don't you clean the Nile of all the blood instead of

00:33:08.300 bringing forth more blood? Like it's such an interesting thing that they do. Um, and they're

00:33:14.200 actually making everything worse by, by, by making these plagues all the more so. And, and I honestly

00:33:20.940 think they're attesting more to, to God, uh, in, in heaven, but no, what a, what an interesting thing

00:33:28.200 to think about. That's really, really good.

00:33:30.060 I just think it's so fascinating. The idea that like, when, sometimes when we are faced with truth,

00:33:36.520 it makes us lean harder into the lies that we're used to. Like it makes us, it makes us deny things

00:33:43.960 more when we're faced with something that disproves everything that we've like held dear. And it,

00:33:51.720 it just stands out to me as something that we should be aware of. Like, isn't it important for us

00:33:57.620 when we are, when we see things in our everyday lives that are miracles, we're so used to being

00:34:06.300 logical and rational and having to defend all of our things that we believe from those places that

00:34:13.840 we can't comfortably say like, no, that was God. But right. And like the clearer it gets, the more

00:34:21.240 we're like, no, no, no, no, no. Like there's a reason that it turned to blood, the Nile turned to

00:34:25.280 blood. There were probably dead animals in there and that tomato polluted. Yeah. And sometimes it's

00:34:31.620 important for us to say, no, that was actually just God. Like let's view the, the world through

00:34:36.920 the lens of God's presence and know that God is there. And that, and that's faith. Right. And

00:34:42.480 that's why so many people will deny God because that's too much faith. I can't, I can't, I can't,

00:34:48.840 I can't fathom this. This is too much for me. People are so visual. And even when God will send

00:34:55.940 us something extremely visual, there's still a part of us that goes, no, no, no. And, and a lot

00:35:00.460 of that is, again, we're looking back and going, then that was all a waste. Like we as humans hate

00:35:05.740 the idea of, oh, but that was my God. And now like, whatever the social media was my God, food was my

00:35:13.420 God. My spouse was my God, whatever. And now that I see the actual God, this all feels like a waste.

00:35:17.840 And, and that can be hard for us to look back and live with regret. So we will still hold on to

00:35:24.860 those things and it's, and it's dangerous and it's so bad. But really, if we look back on those

00:35:31.800 things and go, oh man, that was all a waste. Now I'm looking towards God and this is where I want to

00:35:35.760 go. That is true fulfillment. And that is true contentment. And that none of this was a waste

00:35:42.240 because it brought us here. And if we have that outlook on this stuff, if Pharaoh had that outlook

00:35:47.820 on this stuff, think about what, what would have happened to, um, flipping that around. Yeah.

00:35:54.320 Yeah. Very cool. I love it. Yeah. Well, thank you for, uh, for that conversation. And, uh, the last

00:36:01.560 part of the podcast is our subscriber questions. So quick plug, but if you aren't already subscribed to

00:36:09.060 my, uh, sub stack, you will get access to a ton of exclusive content, including my book club,

00:36:14.160 my weekly articles, as well as being able to submit questions for podcasts, just like this.

00:36:19.820 And it's really cool because you're getting to submit them to some of my guests. So Sarah's

00:36:24.400 going to get it, going to get to answer some of the questions today, which is really fun.

00:36:29.760 So head over to classicallyabby.substack.com to become a premium subscriber. But let's start

00:36:36.500 with these questions. We've got some really good ones this week. So what do you wear to work

00:36:41.120 out and active wear? And this is going to be different for the two of us. Cause you and I,

00:36:44.360 I think feel a little differently about kind of maybe where modesty sits and also what is

00:36:50.900 appropriate for active wear. So many active wear outfits these days are like a sports bra or leggings,

00:36:56.460 and I'm wanting to find what's functional for working out and providing coverage, but also not

00:37:00.700 frumpy. So why don't you share your thoughts first? I'd love to hear.

00:37:05.480 You know what, here. I love, I love leggings, but I don't like when everything is exposed. So

00:37:14.260 anything longer that covers my butt, I really enjoy. And I find honestly, any sort of a workout 0.95

00:37:21.980 legging. I really like Girlfriend because they are not see-through. I do not want to wear see-through

00:37:26.560 clothing. They make really beautiful leggings, any supportive sports bra with padding. I really,

00:37:33.720 really enjoy because, uh, and especially something higher up with breastfeeding. Oh my goodness. 1.00

00:37:38.260 Like the more coverage we can get the better, because this is an absolute joke at this point

00:37:42.140 and muscle muscle tanks are so great. I think a muscle tank hits you up high. It covers my butt and

00:37:50.700 it just looks nice. And it's not frumpy, frumpy, like a big oversized t-shirt layering is great. I, 0.97

00:37:57.860 I love layering. What do you wear when you work out then? What's your go-to?

00:38:03.600 So, so here's what I'll say. At this point, I work out from home. So half the time it's like

00:38:09.120 the pajamas that I wear when I wake up in the morning. But if I, if I want to like put on real

00:38:17.200 exercise gear, I totally agree. I will wear, um, leggings and a oversized t-shirt or something cute

00:38:24.580 over the top that covers my bottom. I also think a good trick, if you are like looking to look cute,

00:38:31.140 you can tie a shirt around your waist and then it'll cover your bottom. So you can like wear a

00:38:37.540 cute top that isn't long enough. But then if you wear like a little jacket or a little shirt tied

00:38:42.780 around your waist, then it covers what you want covered. And you can still wear leggings. I also

00:38:47.520 like while back, I would wear leggings with shorts over the top and then a more fitted shirt.

00:38:53.220 It's always a, a balancing volume and proportions thing. I find is like, if you are wearing, um,

00:39:01.180 leggings and shorts, you can't really wear like a big baggy shirt on top because you'll look frumpy.

00:39:06.380 But if you wear a more fitted shirt on top, then you'll look cute. Would you agree with that?

00:39:10.420 I agree. I totally agree. And I also, it's, it's where you're going. If I'm in the gym,

00:39:14.880 I'm honestly, I'm very covered up. If I'm at home, I'm pretty lax. And if I film like a workout

00:39:21.040 on Instagram, I make sure that I'm not showing certain things or standing in a certain way,

00:39:26.560 if I'm showing my workout at home, that is, uh, awkward or revealing because I just,

00:39:31.420 I just don't need any of that. Yeah. Agreed. But most of the time I'll say I'm usually in

00:39:37.680 whatever I slept in plus a sports bra and yeah, that's it. That's awesome.

00:39:43.740 So the next question, and this is broad is what advice would you have for a 12 year old girl?

00:39:53.500 Oh man, I was 12, 15 years ago. I was 12 longer than that ago.

00:40:00.460 Really? Are you older than me? I am. I'm 29.

00:40:05.200 Oh, you're just a little bit older than me. Just a little bit. Not so much.

00:40:08.880 Just a little bit. You know what? What was great about being 12 when I was 12 was that

00:40:15.040 because there was no social media, I did everything that I did cause I liked it. I didn't do anything

00:40:20.420 because I saw other people doing it or, um, other people are influencing me. So I think

00:40:25.440 as a 12 year old girl in this day and age, remember what you like and do it, uh, focus on what brings

00:40:32.400 you joy and, uh, continue that. I loved crafting. I was that craft nerd. And, uh, I think if I lived

00:40:40.340 in today's day and age as a 12 year old, I probably would feel influenced to get out of that because

00:40:45.480 what 12 year old plays with sock dolls or makes clothes for her Barbie, what 12 year old plays 0.88

00:40:51.140 with Barbies, you know? Um, so I think, uh, if you're 12, don't be on social media, like just straight

00:40:58.240 up, like you don't need an Instagram, you don't need a phone, you don't need this stuff, uh, focus

00:41:03.160 in on, and, and honestly put your heart towards what you really enjoy and focus on yourself. And I

00:41:10.300 don't mean that in a vain way, but I mean, in a way that, uh, is authentic and, and you're giving

00:41:15.040 yourself good attention and not being sucked in by what all these other crazy 12 year old girls are 0.93

00:41:21.020 doing. Cause there are some wild 12 year old girls out there that have really lost themselves. And I think

00:41:25.780 a lot of that is attested towards, uh, social media and, and maybe bad influence through there.

00:41:33.440 Yeah. Yeah. I think that for me, you're making me think that the advice I would give is spend time

00:41:39.820 with your mom. Like this is the time to spend time with your mom, enjoy your mom's company, learn how to

00:41:46.440 cook, learn how to like follow her around, see what she does on an everyday, say, go shopping with her,

00:41:52.780 like figure out, go grocery shopping with her, figure out womanhood through the best example, 1.00

00:41:59.260 which I, not for everyone, but for many women is their mother. So like, this is the time of your

00:42:04.740 life where you have time to spend with your mom. Cause as you get older, you're going to be in school

00:42:09.400 or you're going to be moving away or you're going to get married and you're not going to have

00:42:12.900 this time to like learn from this woman who has raised you and loves you and wants the best for you.

00:42:20.320 So spend time with your mom. Like this is the time.

00:42:24.240 Oh, that's good. That's really good. I like that.

00:42:27.960 Yeah. I wish I, I mean, I spend a lot of time with my mom. I still wish I spent more time with my mom.

00:42:34.580 I know me too. And honestly, if you don't have a mom, find a mom figure. And that can be,

00:42:41.740 that can be an aunt, a grandma, that can be someone not even related to you by blood,

00:42:45.280 but there is someone out there that can be a mom figure to you and they would love to invest

00:42:50.960 their time in you because we're, because we're moms or we're women, or we just want to nurture and

00:42:56.060 help, help other women. That's just so natural for us. Yes, totally. So here's a question that is

00:43:03.380 entirely relevant, I think, to your life. What are your thoughts on getting married straight out of high

00:43:09.400 school? Because I did. Well, I got, because I did. I graduated high school when I was, yeah,

00:43:18.100 I was 17. And then I graduated college, I guess I was 18. I think honestly, money is very important.

00:43:30.960 And, and I don't want to say that in a way that's, you need to have lots of money and everything,

00:43:35.940 but money is important and be thoughtful towards what you're spending your money on.

00:43:40.280 I, I remember listening to this one guy and he was a huge advocate and people getting married young

00:43:46.320 and all these young people are saying, Oh, I can't get married young. I can't afford it. And he's

00:43:52.000 talking to these people who are wearing Gucci, holding a Starbucks and has the latest iPhone.

00:43:57.500 And he said, I lived on Folgers coffee and we had a mattress passed down to us from our grandparents,

00:44:04.360 like to sleep on. Like he was like, if you're going to live high and mighty rich and famous,

00:44:09.320 of course, none of this is going to work. So you have to cut corners and stuff, but honestly,

00:44:13.780 really think about, think about money, think about income, think about putting things aside and

00:44:19.200 savings. That was huge for us. That was how we bought our first home, which was a modular. We didn't

00:44:25.960 live in a fancy schmancy home. We never have had new vehicles. Everything that we did as

00:44:34.360 a young dating couple to being engaged to being married was, it was slim. We live slim. We live

00:44:40.920 modest. And in a lot of ways we really still do, but don't have shame in working a lot, putting money

00:44:48.240 aside and preparing for the future because that's going to keep you. And that's also going to really

00:44:54.440 protect your relationships and, and even your marriage. If, if money is there, it's a security.

00:45:01.840 And I think, uh, too many people spend frivolously because of social media, uh, when really let's,

00:45:08.600 let's be thoughtful with our coin because it is important. And the Bible talks about that. And,

00:45:13.960 and money is a huge topic in the Bible and people that live simply and humbly, uh, reap many,

00:45:21.400 many great blessings that are far better than, uh, new vehicles and, and fancy houses and such.

00:45:28.900 Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think that's great advice. I really liked that advice because it's practical.

00:45:34.160 It's not just like, Oh, it's great. It's like, here's how you can do it and do it practically

00:45:39.420 and, and successfully please God, like with God's help. So last question, I'm not, I'm not going to

00:45:46.440 cook to, I don't want to contribute to that because I thought that was such a good answer.

00:45:49.480 So the last question we're going to do is an interesting one. What can wives do if their 1.00

00:45:58.440 husbands don't seem to want to take the lead in family life? For example, he doesn't seem to have

00:46:04.120 a vision for long-term goals and is content with not being more than enough. He wrote, she wrote with

00:46:10.100 not being good enough. I don't know what that means, but with not being good enough.

00:46:12.840 Hmm. Oh, well, you know what? I can't, and I, and I don't mind saying this. I don't, I don't really

00:46:20.520 know. And the reason why is because I've never been in that kind of position. Um, when I married

00:46:31.920 Kieran, um, I, I saw so much in him that I was like, he's going to lead me. He's going to take care

00:46:38.100 of me. He's going to do this stuff for me. That was a huge check mark for me when it came to our

00:46:43.380 dating relationship. So it was before I even got married, I was already looking at Kieran really

00:46:49.380 going, is this going to work because of X, Y, and Zed in his, his character and, uh, and personality.

00:46:56.820 So I almost feel like I can't say too much to that. Um, a lot of it, honestly, a lot of it is prayer.

00:47:06.580 I think so much of the time we want to take action. And I think that's beautiful. And especially

00:47:12.040 as women, we can't just sit around waiting. We want to take action, but there's points where the 0.99

00:47:17.100 Lord, uh, is like, Hey, I just want you to sit, or I just want you to get on your knees and just pray

00:47:22.320 to me. Uh, if this is something that's really bothering you and something really on your heart

00:47:26.100 prayer is powerful. And what's even more powerful is a woman that realizes she can't do everything 0.99

00:47:32.080 and she gives it to God. So that's, I know that's so lame. And that's the last thing so many people

00:47:39.040 want to hear. Um, but take action where you can, it can be hard, but see what you can do. But really,

00:47:47.640 are you praying about it? And are you bringing this to the Lord? Cause if you do that, he will give you

00:47:52.040 opportunities. If you ask something of the Lord, he will give you the opportunity to, uh,

00:47:57.760 to act on it or to carry something out, or, uh, it may not be through you that the Lord

00:48:04.000 works his plan out, but someone else completely different and you never saw it coming. So that's

00:48:10.060 my advice. I know that's so bad and you probably have better advice than I do, but well, I have,

00:48:15.600 I have different advice, but I think that's great advice. My, my advice is interesting. And actually it

00:48:21.920 goes along with what you're saying is I think we have an impulse when somebody's not doing something

00:48:27.060 that maybe we know they should to jump in and, and take control or boss them around or something to

00:48:36.800 that effect. And in this specific situation, particularly, I think it is necessary to take

00:48:44.480 a step back and be like, no, you need to fill this role because I'm not going to like, I'm the wife.

00:48:52.460 I am not meant to be in the position that you may be asking me to be in. So I am going to show you

00:49:00.200 where my, where my role lies so that you don't feel like you can rest on your laurels. He might

00:49:06.380 need to feel pressure to take that, take that role over and not in the way where you are pressuring him,

00:49:14.080 not in the way where you're like, this is your job, do it. It's more like, I'm just going to be here,

00:49:19.480 here to support you. And I'm going to take this backseat because I know that this is not the

00:49:24.660 position in this family that I want to be in. And often for men, when they realize that they're,

00:49:32.500 that they need that, they need to take over the role of leader of the family, head of the household

00:49:39.040 kind of thing. They need to feel that pressure from you by being like, you know what, that,

00:49:44.120 that is your role. And it's not something I'm going to step in and take from you. That's what I would,

00:49:48.460 that's what I would guess is like a good way to approach it.

00:49:53.280 That's right. And, and you know what, what you say is so true. Husbands want to feel needed. As soon

00:49:59.700 as a husband doesn't feel needed, he's bitter, he's upset. Give your husband, I don't want to say,

00:50:08.920 I'm thinking the word project because Kieran, all this is weird because Kieran's starting a project on

00:50:14.100 the back wall. So I'm thinking project, but, um, give them, come on, Abby, help me out. It's not

00:50:19.740 project. Give them, I can't give them a, no, I can't think of it, but what, uh, a man who is not 0.97

00:50:30.980 busy is he's not happy. They really do want something to do and they want to add to the family.

00:50:38.180 Um, so if you show need in an area, Lord willing, they're going to pick that up and run with it.

00:50:44.600 And I think it's also on us as wives to show, I can't do this, but honey, I know you can,

00:50:51.000 and I'm relying on you to do that. Um, and, and that makes a man feel powerful and strong because

00:50:56.800 men love that. The last thing I want is someone to come to me and go, I really need this because

00:51:01.780 I'm going, I don't have time. But if we bring that to our husbands, they go, okay, I'll do it.

00:51:06.820 You may have to talk them up and encourage them, but I think that's, that's a good thing for a wife 1.00

00:51:10.720 to do. That's good. Yeah. I think that's exactly right. So that's where we're going to stop,

00:51:17.740 but I'm so glad you came on. Can you tell everyone where they can find you, where they can follow you?

00:51:24.720 Um, yeah, if you want to come to my house, I'm on the West coast of Canada. You can find me here.

00:51:29.820 Um, I, uh, local coffee shops. No, I am. I'm on Instagram at Sarah trees co and from my Instagram,

00:51:38.740 you'll be able to find my website and such, but always hanging out on there.

00:51:43.760 Yep. And you can always see her on stories. She's always super active on stories. She has the best

00:51:49.300 stories, honestly. Like I, I tune into your stories every day because they're so aesthetic.

00:51:53.500 Really? You're always doing great things over there. I'm like, Oh, what's she up to? I knew

00:51:58.220 you were doing this project on your back wall before we even spoke today. Cause I was watching

00:52:02.520 your stories. So amazing. Hey, thank you. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was so

00:52:11.460 much fun. We'll have to have, we'll have to have you come on again. Like we'll have to do this again.

00:52:14.780 Yeah. I was going to say we might need like a four part series of us talking. Cause I feel like we

00:52:21.780 could talk for a really long time. Yes. Same here. Same here. So that is it for today's episode

00:52:28.900 of the classically Abby podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Make sure to subscribe wherever you

00:52:35.100 listen to podcasts and on YouTube. If you'd like to become a premium subscriber, make sure to head over

00:52:39.940 to classicallyabby.substack.com and I'll see you guys in my next episode. Bye.

00:53:09.940 Bye.

00:53:39.940 Bye.

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The Classically Abby Podcast - January 24, 2023

Ep 3 ｜ Sarah Therese On Being A Young Mom, Balancing It All, And What Femininity REALLY Looks Like

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