Ep. 7 ｜ The Girl Named Blake On The Struggles Of Faith, Mental Health, And Politics
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Summary
In this episode, I chat with the girl, Blake, all about being brave enough to speak your mind, balancing motherhood and breadwinning, and going viral in 2020. All of this and more on today's episode of the Classically Abbey Podcast!
Transcript
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Chatting with the girl named Blake, all about being brave enough to speak your mind, balancing
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motherhood and breadwinning, and going viral in 2020.
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All this and more on today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast.
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So I want to start with asking you, how did you go viral back in 2020?
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And tell us a little bit about your mission, because you are such a just an outspoken woman
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So I'd really love to hear kind of what gets you up in the morning, what you want to talk
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about and how it kind of attracted people to your Instagram, to your platform.
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So I started in 2018, like with a podcast and being on Instagram and was mostly talking
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about things like mental health and motherhood and hustle culture and work and all of that
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kind of stuff, 2020 hits, which we all know was just freaking insane.
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And by, let's see, the world shuts down early March by May.
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I am like, I don't know how much longer I can make it not saying the things I actually believe
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I'm saying all of these things in real life, like around my kitchen table, things like,
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I mean, from the get, I was like, masks are a sham.
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Like, this is, this is like BS, like stay, you need, you don't need to stay in your house.
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You need to get out in sunlight, like that, all of those things.
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And I don't say that to be like, I knew before everybody else, I grew up in a medical
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Like, I was just like, the box says that that was the first time I went viral was when
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I got on the internet and was like, Hey guys, the box says it doesn't protect against COVID.
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And then from there, it was really just this waterfall effect of continually just showing
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up and saying the things that I think a lot of us were thinking, you know, about COVID
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or about the, the presidential election was a really big, you know, source of that as
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I've always been deeply political, politically invested.
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And so, you know, 2020 was really contentious within the church in that subject, just like
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people were really okay saying they were voting for Biden, but you had to like, keep it a secret
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if you were voting for Trump, because people were getting like canceled and doxxed and all
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And so I just came out and was like, I'm voting for Trump.
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And so that was kind of my 2020 was like, it was just pulling off the bandaid and being
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Um, and so it was, but it was really cool because I mean, my platform blew up in that
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So many of us felt so alone and felt so isolated from one another period and then felt isolated
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in our beliefs that I think it just kind of became this rallying point for people to
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And so that was kind of 2020 was, I had started two years before, but 2020 was definitely
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when things kind of like picked up and took off for sure.
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I mean, that's what attracted me to your page was just, you were saying what I was thinking
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And it's coming from a woman who is, you know, it's coming from a woman, number one, but also
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It's not like you have, you know, a girl boss, total mentality where you can't have those
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No, I definitely lean a lot more towards, they are the most important thing in my life.
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Like outside of my relationship with God, like my kids and my husband come before everything.
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There is, it's not even, it's not up for conversation, but also like I can do other
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I can prioritize that and never like, not, not drop the ball, but cause I definitely dropped
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the ball, but like keep the most important things, the most important things and have
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other passions and have other, you know, like, I think that whole like balance is a myth.
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I think that hurts women because I, I think that balance is balance and it's, it can be
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Can you can do it messily, but you can still like show up and use your gifts in a multitude
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I actually did a, I did an Instagram reel today on that topic, just about, I think that
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there is a, a misconception that when, you know, I say women should have, should have
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children and should get married and should prioritize those things.
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That means I think they're incapable of other things.
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That's why we are so incredible is that we can be incredible mothers and incredible
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Well, and you and I wouldn't be talking if that's what you believe.
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Like you wouldn't have a podcast, you wouldn't have like a platform, you would be a wife
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And I don't think that everybody, you know, I think everybody in the body has different
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gifts and they're not all things that need to be stretched and flexed on the internet.
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But for those of us that do like, that's okay too.
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Like it's the whole, like, good for her, not for me.
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One of my favorite people in the world is a stay-at-home mom to four kids.
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Her whole thing is wrangling the zoo and keeping her house.
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We're going to be hopping all over the place because I feel like we overlap in so many different
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ways and I'm excited to talk about all those things, but let's talk faith for a second.
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So I know your faith hugely informs what you do.
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Your podcast is called Confessions of a Crappy Christian.
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It came from the verses where Paul talks about God's power being made perfect in our weakness
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and therefore boasting all the more about our weakness.
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Uh, when I started the podcast, I really was, I was drowning.
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I have had horrific postpartum anxiety after both of my girls.
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And I, and I say this all the time, like the landscape of podcasting has changed so significantly
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And I think we've seen it take leaps and bounds towards true vulnerability and hard conversations.
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But at the time, honestly, it was kind of like a glorified Bible study.
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A lot of the time, like it was all pretty like superficial.
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And I, at the time, like really needed conversations on mental health.
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And so I was like, I'll show up and say, I don't know how I'm going to make it out and
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And got to have these really incredible conversations with people who had also like gone through the
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And also like hustle culture and the idea of hard work and, and, but not like burning
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yourself out for the sake of chasing a dollar or some kind of recognition.
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And honestly, I'm so proud and thankful that it's really stayed true to its original mission
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of like, this is a place, this is a safe place to land with your questions.
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This is a safe place to land with your doubts and your struggles.
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And I'm not saying that I'm going to have all the answers.
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Maybe somebody I know does, uh, like I'll share all my friends with you.
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And we're just like, we're all on the same team.
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We're all like, we're all just trying to do the best we can with what we got.
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And so I'm going to, I'm going to use it that way.
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And I really value that side of social media because we're always seeing the highlight
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We always use that phrase, the highlight reel, but what's so important for us to see
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is also that people are human and we're all struggling sometimes.
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And we're all working through this life and hearing somebody going through those same
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struggles who also shares what we're, what we believe in.
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And it's, you know, the, the highest compliment that anything I do is given is just like,
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it made me feel seen, or I walked away from church because of this XYZ experience, but
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you've kind of got me like curious or looking at my Bible or, you know, so I think we see
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in the, in the Bible, we see in the early church that there were, there were disciples
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and apostles who, who processized to the Jews and there were the ones that went to the Gentiles.
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There are people that are, but I think I had their gifting is the equipping of the saints.
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And I think that there are people whose gift is like for the people in the fringes and being
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And that's kind of the, the bridge that we're kind of getting to build.
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And I remember I, I did a post early on, um, when I was still back in Nebraska when I lived
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in Omaha, I remember I had been doing all of my content about how to be a classic woman.
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And there was a day that I was just absolutely the least classic human being on the planet.
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And I said to my husband, I'm like, if anyone saw me, I would be a failure.
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And he was like, you know, you don't have to be perfect to be aiming for an ideal.
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I'm not always at that goal or reaching that goal.
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And I was like, oh, that's actually very helpful.
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Well, and how helpful to the people who are following you, you know, I think that is,
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you said that earlier, kind of can be the downside of social media is it is easier to show up when
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Like when you're sticking it, it's easier to show up, but you need to see you not stick
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Like they need to, can you tell, I come from a gymnast family.
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Like people need to see you not do it perfectly so that they know when, when they inevitably
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don't, that they don't need to like give up, that they're not a failure, that God's not
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And like, all right, let's get back on the horse.
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So I wanted to mention something I saw on your website, you wrote, you described yourself
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as too conservative for progressives and too progressive for conservatives.
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So grew up in the South, in the Bible belt, in a very Republican family.
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I don't, I hold no ill will towards any kind of party or anything like that.
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I just, in the last like probably five or six years realized that there were things about
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the Republican conservative party line that I don't agree with.
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And that like, I, my life experience informs that that is not always the best way or thing,
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but then also I'm not willing to bend on the things that I do believe and the things that
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are based in scripture that are required of you if you want to align with the more progressive
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So it's just this fun middle ground where they all don't like you.
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Like they're all mad at you, but there's also this really sweet, like crew that's starting
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I think as both ends of the spectrum move more and more radical, there's more people who feel
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Um, and so, yeah, I'm just, I'm an equal opportunity offender is what it really boils down to.
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Well, and I think that it's, it's good to know where you stand on all issues, as opposed to
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saying I'm a conservative and I'm throwing all of my eggs in that basket, no matter what
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And I think that that's an issue is that people kind of, they want to pass the buck on them
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having to actually consider their, their opinions and their positions and there's something good.
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I think that's present in both, like both ends of the spectrum or like it's either, it's
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So you just believe what your parents believed or you completely rejected what your parents
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believed and, and adopted a new set of beliefs.
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And like, it honestly, you're just like, you're trading one indoctrination for the other, right?
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You're like trading one religion, like conservatives, their religion may more than
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And like, there is a religion of like the worship of, of self and the world.
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Like it's all where you're trading one thing for the other and both think they're right.
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Like if you talk to a, like a true blue liberal, like they think that they are right.
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And so I can think you're wrong and still not need to like be a jerk about it, you know?
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And I think that it's usually not going to be as effective to be a jerk to somebody who
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you disagree with, uh, than it is to be, I always say using, I use the term gentle guidance
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Well, here's why I think what I think, maybe that gives you an opportunity to change your
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There's, uh, you know, there's a place for men, there's a place for women.
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We have different roles, but we're also both incredibly strong.
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So what, in what ways are women strong and what should we love about our role as women?
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So my favorite thing to say about this subject is if you've ever seen my big fat Greek wedding,
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where the mother gives the advice of like, the man is the head, but the woman is the neck.
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I actually did an episode on my podcast this week when we're recording about women and women
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in the church and how our obsession with what we can or cannot do by biblical standards,
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We're missing the opportunity to do all of these really incredible, impactful things that
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scripture like lays out for us and that God has put before us, you know?
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And so I do hold like the relatively traditional conservative belief that I don't think that women
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should be in authority over men or in teaching positions over men, but that doesn't mean that
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I don't think that women should have a seat at the table, that their voices should be heard
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in decisions, administratively ministry, like throughout the church and throughout like copy
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Like at the end of the day, my husband is the head of our household and he is the leader and
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I am going to submit to him, but he also listens to what I have to say.
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And he knows that like, I fully believe women have more discernment than men.
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Like I will, I'll hot take say that, you know, and I think he sees that and knows that and
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He's learned from experience that like that mom gut, which is actually the Holy spirit
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And so I think it's just a matter of, well, I don't want to be a man.
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So I'm going to like fully step into what God, like God created women for a purpose.
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And it is a powerful, impactful, world changing purpose.
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I'm going to focus on that versus like what I can't do or can't be.
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And I think I, you know, what you were talking about that you talked about on your podcast,
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I find this issue in the Jewish community as well.
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And it's often very, very potent in the Jewish community where women are like, why can't
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Cause there are like a whole list of things that men have commandments to do that women
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Now there's kind of a misconception that women are not allowed to do those things because
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we're lesser than, but it's actually that men have to do those, have to do those things
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So they have to do these actions that bring them closer to God because women are naturally
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So women don't need, don't need to do them.
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And I always loved that because it's like, you know, we have a different connection to
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God through just, we are, this is something, an idea that I really love is we have an understanding
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of God that men don't because we do the act of creation by growing children and raising
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So they have to, they have to go to synagogue three times a day and they have to like do the
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Torah reading and they have to do a lot more than we do.
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Well, and I think simultaneously, like there are, there are characteristics of God that are
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more present in men as like leadership and decision making.
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And like, like essentially when I read the, how God laid out that relationship in scripture,
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Like they stand in front of women to allow us like in a protective way, not in a, like
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It's like, no, it's there to protect us, to love us the way that Christ loved the church,
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which is a massive responsibility because he, I mean, in the end laid down his life to
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allow women to do like, like you're saying, to be more connected to the Holy spirit and
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have that discernment and like hear those things from him.
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And so I think like we both serve these really holy, incredible purposes.
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And I think we, it would be easier to walk in them if we would stop focusing on like what
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So you, I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you're the primary breadwinner
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So how do you balance all of your responsibilities?
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I mean, we kind of touched on this a little bit, how you prioritization and all of that,
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but how do you actually in practical terms, balance your responsibilities as a wife and
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And this is kind of like a bonus part of this, but how does that affect your relationship
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Cause that's, you know, I think an interesting point.
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We, so as far as like balancing it, we, um, I worked really, really hard for a couple of
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Like I went real hard for the first three ish years.
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I think I had like the stamina and my kids were in school.
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And so I really like, I, and also I just have a, I don't know how to do things halfway.
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And so I have had the, essentially like luxury of the last year, 18 months of kind of getting
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Um, but even still, like, I mean, and so I am the primary breadwinner.
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My husband actually just started his own like entrepreneurial journey a couple of weeks ago.
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So our family dynamic is shifting, which is really cool and really exciting.
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But in that trend, you know, there's always that like weird limbo transition period where
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right now, like I am the primary breadwinner and also like he's working out of the home.
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So I'm taking on more like home and motherhood duties.
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And I was, it's so funny that you asked this question.
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Cause I was literally just talking to him about this earlier in the week.
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Like I had to draw some really hard and fast boundaries that require a lot of self-control.
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Like I log in and I log out and yeah, like maybe I'm going to go.
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Outside of those hours, I think of something and I want to post it and I can get on my stories
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and put it up really quick or run to my computer and like write an email.
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But by and large, like I've been like logging in at nine and logging out at four and like
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And that has been how, like how I've been able to find balance is like, even when it would
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be easier to like zone out and scroll through Instagram and answer DMS, like I want to be
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And so it's just like the, the prioritization and boundaries, like, and taking your thoughts
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captive and all of that kind of stuff, just being able to be like, what is my identity?
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So like, I'm going to, I'm going to treat that.
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I want to store this responsibly, I guess is what I say.
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And like all those studies that tell you that social media is really bad for your mental
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Like the, that data comes from somewhere, right?
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Like, so I've experienced that side of it as well.
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I don't want to be like being beaten up in my brain by the internet all day.
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And then I have nothing to give the people that mean the most to me in the end.
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And I know that with me, for me, social media, you know, the number of times I have said like,
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And then I'm home alone all day and I don't have a lot of people around me.
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So I'm like, okay, well, I guess I can hop on here for a minute.
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So I think treating it with, you know, I think the truth is even outside of work, use drawing
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boundaries with your phone is important because I think, let's say you say, okay, I'm going
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to use it nine to four or five in the afternoon and then I'm done.
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I mean, that's, so we, when this transition and again, it just started two weeks ago.
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So like maybe circle back in a month and we'll see how things are going, but I pretty
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much drew a line with everybody and like the people, you know, like the people that I talk
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to the most, my parents and my best friends, I was like, Hey, I'm putting my phone away
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Like, if you need me, call me twice and it'll ring, you know, like how your phone will like
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on the second call, it'll let it through like an emergency call.
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But otherwise, like, because we're so freaking over-connected and over-saturated and then like
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that makes it impossible to be with your, with your people.
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And to your question about like our dynamic, it, my husband is a unicorn.
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Like I married one of those ones where people are like, where did he come from?
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And we definitely butt heads on stuff, but he has never cared.
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Like he, it has never been like a decrease in his masculinity or his leadership that I made
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more money than him or was the only one making money.
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He jokingly will be like in the early day, in the end, he got bored, right?
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Like in the end, he just wanted something of his own to do.
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But for the last eight months, like he's really been Mr. Mom and, and just been like doing
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carpool and doing laundry and keeping the house clean.
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Like, if you want to like, just keep being the one that makes us money, you know?
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So that was not, thankfully that was like not one of the hurdles we had to jump.
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So last question here, you got married pretty young and had your children pretty young.
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So what's your advice for young women dating in today's day and age and any marriage advice
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Yeah, I, uh, it's so funny because my sister and my dad had an outstanding bet that I wouldn't
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And so when I got married at 22, one of them had to pay the other $50.
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So it was definitely not like, I was not the little girl that was like, I'm going to get
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And then I like met this man and was like, I want to be with you 24 seven.
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We were literally talking about that the other night where it was like, we got married because
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we were instantly best friends and just obsessed with each other.
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Well, and like, I wanted to have sex with him.
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And like, we were, we were better, we're better together.
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And I think, I, I think this can be very dependent on like where you grew up.
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Cause I grew up in a place where girls got engaged their senior year and then got married
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And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
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I think it's just like real releasing that the best advice I ever got was like, run your
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Like, keep your eyes on Jesus and run your race.
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And at some point, like, you'll know that you should look from side to side and there
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Like, those are the people that you want to like consider dating or doing life with.
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Like, and I think, you know, that's a whole podcast episode probably of how much the church
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Like the church has strangely prioritized that.
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Like I have no regrets over getting married young.
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Cause I think I would have been wild if I hadn't.
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I think we would, I think I would have some not great stories probably if I hadn't married
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But I don't think that that's everybody's experience and everybody's story.
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And I think like run your race, do the next right thing.
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Like keep your eyes on Jesus and what he has next for you.
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And if that's something that enters your orbit, that's awesome.
00:27:18.240
Um, as far as marriage advice, I really think our primary one was like, we just had to learn
00:27:23.180
each other's love languages because they were foreign languages to us.
00:27:26.560
Like his love language was a foreign language to me 10 years ago.
00:27:30.500
And we have gotten into like more disagreements and more misunderstandings because we just spoke
00:27:38.080
And now thankfully 12 years in, like we still jack it up sometimes, but by and large, we've
00:27:43.220
like learned like, how does this person feel love?
00:27:53.200
Yeah, I think, yeah, I know that for me and my husband, we constantly have the conversation
00:28:00.860
And the problem is we both speak multiple, like very strongly.
00:28:06.700
So we'll be like, that wasn't what I was looking for at this moment.
00:28:19.280
So now we're going to move on to today's faith talk.
00:28:24.120
So this week's Torah portion is Mishpatim, which means ordinances.
00:28:28.800
And here's the summary of this week's Parsha from Chabad's website.
00:28:33.420
Following the revelation at Sinai, God legislates a series of laws for the people of Israel.
00:28:39.020
These include the laws of the indentured servant, the penalties for murder, kidnapping, assault
00:28:43.420
and theft, civil laws pertaining to redress of damages, the granting of loans and the
00:28:48.420
responsibilities of the four guardians, and the rules governing the conduct of justice
00:28:54.500
There's a lot of other laws that I'm actually not going to read because there's just a lot
00:28:59.200
This is not my favorite Torah portion, to be honest, just because it is mostly laws.
00:29:03.160
But then we get into God promising to bring the people of Israel to the Holy Land, and
00:29:09.280
he warns them against assuming the pagan ways of its current inhabitants.
00:29:12.760
The people of Israel proclaim, we will do and we will hear all that God commands us.
00:29:18.360
Leaving Aaron and her in charge in the Israelite camp, Moses ascends Mount Sinai and remains
00:29:24.280
there for 40 days and 40 nights to receive the Torah from God.
00:29:27.460
So what we're going to talk about today is this very important phrase, we will do and
00:29:36.460
This is something we talk about a lot in the Jewish faith.
00:29:40.820
I heard this phrase growing up like all day long, every day of my life.
00:29:46.060
And it seems crazy because you kind of sound like it's backwards.
00:29:53.760
Shouldn't it be we will hear and we will do like we will hear the commandments and then
00:29:58.320
But we are often taught in Jewish day school that it's a huge lesson in faith for us, that
00:30:04.000
the Jews accepted God's word without even knowing what it would be in a sense, and that
00:30:08.500
we were willing to go forth and trust in him, even if we didn't understand it.
00:30:12.540
And I do love that lesson and it's what I grew up on.
00:30:16.000
So Nishma, which is the Hebrew word for we will hear, also has a different definition,
00:30:27.220
So the idea is when the Jews say we will do and we will understand, they are sharing a deep
00:30:42.180
The very act of doing teaches us in our hearts their importance.
00:30:48.400
And this is, I feel like, so relevant to us in today's day and age.
00:30:52.460
There's so many things that you can't understand until you do it.
00:30:56.580
Motherhood, I feel like, is such an obvious one.
00:30:59.600
And I mean, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, but I've been thinking about this lately
00:31:03.200
is this idea that there is no way to describe to someone.
00:31:07.960
If someone had tried to describe to me and people did what motherhood would be like and
00:31:12.080
why it was so, you know, amazing, I would not be able to comprehend it.
00:31:17.600
Until I did it, I was not able to comprehend it.
00:31:22.560
I was just thinking about that the other day because I'm kind of coming out of the motherhood
00:31:30.760
Like my kids can wipe their own butts and like get their own snacks and get their own water
00:31:35.620
and kind of like put themselves to bed, wash their hair, like that kind of stuff.
00:31:40.640
And so I'm seeing like, oh, wow, like you really do come out of the woods and you gain
00:31:45.660
a little bit of yourself back and your independence back and those kinds of things.
00:31:50.020
And then I was sitting there thinking, oh yeah, people tried to tell me that.
00:31:53.500
Like moms tried to tell me that it like, it gets better and not better.
00:32:02.720
Like having older kids, it brings a different set of problems, but I'm like, oh yeah, like
00:32:08.000
they, they tried to tell me, but I had to, I had to live it out first.
00:32:10.880
So I think that's definitely, I think that should stop us from telling people like that
00:32:17.200
are coming behind us, motherhood, marriage, faith, prayer, like whatever.
00:32:22.080
But also I think like for the tellers, there is some grace to give as well.
00:32:32.700
And I feel like this kind of spans the gamut from things that have not nothing to do with
00:32:37.660
faith because everything is like in, within a faith, when you're living a faith filled
00:32:41.880
life, everything is within that, but that are sort of separate from that.
00:32:45.480
So like why you should move to a community, why that's actually really great when you get
00:32:52.120
There are like people who I can see all the time.
00:32:54.740
And like, I can go to synagogue and see my friends or go to church and see my, my people.
00:32:59.520
Like that's something you don't understand until you're in it.
00:33:03.700
And then there's the stuff that's like actual practice where it's like, why do we pray?
00:33:13.720
And in the doing of it, you're like, oh, actually this is not, yeah.
00:33:23.980
It's, it's such an interesting thing that we can learn in the doing something that we
00:33:29.080
couldn't have learned just by somebody trying to teach us.
00:33:32.560
And it's like, maybe that's a little bit of a, it lessens the burden on us as parents
00:33:39.320
Because I think as parents, I know my son isn't old enough yet, but you know, I, I cannot
00:33:46.320
imagine the point at which I'm trying to explain to him why something that feels like it would
00:33:50.740
be fun and attractive and great is actually not none of those things.
00:33:56.120
So yeah, you may have to make those mistakes on his own, unfortunately.
00:34:00.800
Which like, I think that you can only protect them to a certain point, right?
00:34:05.540
Like there are like, this is proving there are some things that you have to learn by doing.
00:34:11.420
And I, I appreciate that so much of parenthood is also stuff that we can learn from God
00:34:21.280
So we can kind of see how, yeah, like he doesn't, he, God can tell us in the Torah or in the
00:34:27.460
Bible, in the new Testament, you know, this is how you should live your life and this is
00:34:33.800
And, you know, we're 17 and stupid and we want to do fun things.
0.99
00:34:46.180
And let's move into our premium subscriber questions.
00:34:49.740
If you would like to submit questions for future episodes of the Classically Abbey podcast,
00:34:54.300
make sure to head over to classicallyabbey.substack.com where you'll get access to a ton of exclusive
00:34:59.080
content, including my book club, weekly exclusive articles, and being able to submit questions
00:35:06.620
So I'm very excited to ask these questions because they are directed towards you.
00:35:11.700
So number one is, Abby often says on her podcast that happiness is possible in the mundane
00:35:19.980
What are some small ways you think moms can invite novelty into their routines?
1.00
00:35:26.680
And I just started maybe, I don't know if this isn't the right, like the answer that you're
00:35:32.080
looking for, you can tell me, but I just started like making a big deal out of the small holidays.
00:35:40.560
Like I did the heart pancakes and we decorated and then we got balloons.
00:35:48.820
And even like the, my dad is like the best grandfather in the world.
00:35:52.880
And he has one of those calendars that tells you like what every day is, you know?
00:35:57.020
And so like, he'll text us and be like, it's chocolate chip cookie day.
00:35:59.620
And we'll be like, let's go get some chocolate chip cookies.
00:36:04.180
And then also inviting them into the things that interest us has been something that's
00:36:12.080
And so the girls will sit with me and like, help me like find the edges or like we'll bake
0.86
00:36:18.280
together or my oldest and I have started running together, like inviting them into the things
00:36:24.840
that you kind of, I think it would be natural to be like, this is mine.
00:36:30.640
Like I still love putting them to bed and doing a puzzle by myself, but it's been really
00:36:35.960
sweet, like incorporating them into those things as well as just being like, I don't
00:36:41.360
know, like, oh, it's just like a random Wednesday, but it's hot dog, national hot dog day.
00:36:46.740
Let's grow hot dogs and like, you know, celebrate just like making life a celebration, I guess
00:37:01.040
I love the idea of like playing up those holidays more.
00:37:11.180
So my story with Valentine's is that growing up, my parents were like, every day is Valentine's.
00:37:17.200
And as I got older and other people were celebrating it, I was like, oh, it'd be nice to like get
00:37:23.360
So this year I said to my husband, I was like, here's the deal.
00:37:30.000
It would make me happy if you just got me some flowers.
00:37:38.740
And then it ended up kind of snowballing where it was like, okay, we're going to go to dinner
00:37:43.360
Like with the baby, we brought our baby along and then it was like, oh, after he goes to
00:37:47.980
sleep, we're going to bake some cookies and we're going to play Hogwarts Legacy.
00:37:56.800
We did something kind of fun and it was just so sweet.
00:38:00.380
And I will remember that Valentine's day because we did something for it.
00:38:04.840
And it wasn't even like y'all spent a bunch of money or did anything extravagant.
00:38:09.080
Like we literally, I put like a garland up and got some balloons and like got a heart
00:38:15.960
Like I probably spent in total $30 on Valentine's day.
00:38:19.680
Like, but I, you have to also remember like being a kid, everything was magical.
00:38:26.400
And so just putting a little bit of extra effort and time into it, I'm like really excited
00:38:34.840
And so I'm like, we're doing St. Patrick's day.
00:38:37.440
Like we're doing the same thing, you know, like, and there's basically a holiday every
00:38:41.400
So you can like find something to hype up pretty much every month.
00:38:44.700
I love that advice because it's not, you know, oh, well, if you're looking for novelty,
00:38:51.060
take a vacation every, every two weeks or like do a date night, which is like a more
00:38:56.560
It's that is novelty is just making a Thursday a special day because it happens to be some
00:39:04.260
holiday that maybe you don't care deeply about, but it actually becomes something really fun.
00:39:08.700
Well, and my kids are hopefully like my kids will remember that.
00:39:11.140
The hope is that like, when my kids are older, they're like, oh my gosh, my parents made
00:39:16.100
Like, and then like your hand, like you're creating a legacy of celebration, which is
00:39:23.720
Like God is a God of celebration and of joy and of like togetherness.
00:39:27.500
And so it's just continuing that and kind of passing it on.
00:39:41.140
So, I mean, obviously I, I have known that I had a dude's name my whole life.
00:39:47.140
I've, there's a really funny story of when, uh, I was like, I was probably like 13, 14.
00:39:52.360
I went to my first, first like sleep away camp and I show up and like, it's chaos.
00:39:59.360
It's like the beginning of parent trap with Lindsay Lohan.
00:40:09.980
And they, you know, like the, the camp coordinator with our megaphones, like you're in cabin three.
00:40:16.360
And I walked to cabin three and I opened the door and it's a cabin full of boys.
00:40:21.360
And they just like not looked at the gender that was assigned when I like signed up.
00:40:27.620
And so they just put me in a dude's cabin and I remember like, I literally dropped my bag and like turned around and walked out and like went and found a camp counselor.
00:40:42.340
I got like made so much fun of when I was a kid for it.
00:40:45.380
But as an adult, I love both of my girls have unisex names.
00:40:49.700
So I don't, I don't have any kind of feelings about dudes named Blake.
00:40:53.660
Like how do dudes named Blake feel about girls named Blake?
00:40:58.720
Cause it's, I'm so used to unisex names that I didn't even like your handle.
00:41:08.620
Like it didn't even click to me that Blake is also a boy's name.
00:41:13.220
That I had to make it that because people continually thought I was a man.
00:41:26.220
Your podcast is called Confessions of a Crappy Christian, but your website says one of the things you are not about is religion.
00:41:35.100
I mean, not in like a rude way, but I feel like the crappy Christian like squares itself with not being very about religion.
1.00
00:41:44.120
Like the whole essence of it is like the whole, like come as you are, just don't plan to stay that way.
0.99
00:41:50.660
It is okay that you are a crappy Christian.
1.00
00:41:54.440
It is okay that you don't like maybe do it perfectly to a T because that's the point of grace.
0.99
00:42:00.840
And that's the point of sanctification and salvation.
00:42:03.840
And so I, as someone who has been habitually burned by traditional religion and religious people, I am much more inclined to talk about a relationship and a person like the person of Christ.
00:42:25.700
I also do life really closely with people who, who have an, a really beautiful, strong relationship with religion.
0.98
00:42:40.140
It's just like, I think that we were all created really differently with different experiences and that there's something there for all of us.
00:42:47.720
Like it's just going to look a little different.
00:42:53.240
And I think that it is whenever, you know, it's funny, Christians use the term grace a lot.
0.91
00:42:58.960
We don't really use that word so much in Judaism, but I think it is so relevant and so important is giving grace to people so that they have the room to explore their faith and get closer to God on the terms that they can.
00:43:16.980
Well, and I just, I think changed hearts is what changes behavior and, you know, it can be really difficult.
00:43:24.180
Like if you have lived a life apart from God and a life of sin, it can be extremely difficult to step straight into religion and not feel like you don't belong and have nothing to offer.
00:43:39.280
Like sometimes we just need to like tiptoe into it a little bit.
00:43:48.360
So the last question that I have is actually from me.
00:43:53.960
No, I just I wanted to ask this question and I and I want I'm going to ask it now to finish off the podcast.
00:44:00.860
So you said that you love, you know, following politics.
00:44:04.920
And I mean, that's so much of your content, which is awesome.
00:44:11.160
Because I'm more of a cultural commentator, so I don't get into the weeds too much with the day to day stuff.
00:44:16.460
But you have some hot takes that make your Instagram page super fun to follow.
00:44:20.200
So how can we follow along without getting bogged down by the doom scrolling or feeling overwhelmed or just feeling like maybe this isn't so relevant to me?
00:44:30.100
Yeah, that's another area that I just have really strong boundaries.
00:44:34.380
So kind of like I check my email three times a day.
00:44:49.440
Just kind of like I don't have alerts on my phone.
00:44:51.760
I don't get the doomed day headlines because I think I used to.
00:44:55.360
And that's just really bad for your mental health, personally.
00:44:59.580
Like just you keep shooting the stuff out of the sky.
00:45:05.980
So I think it's like if that is a priority, if that's something that you like want to keep up with, it's setting boundaries because it is really easy to get stuck in the doom scroll spiral.
00:45:17.060
And then it just jacks and taints everything that you're doing.
00:45:23.700
It's going to multiple sources so that I'm not living in an echo chamber.
00:45:31.000
And the truth is usually somewhere in the middle.
00:45:39.660
I take the weekend usually off of the Internet.
00:45:42.020
And there are a lot of Mondays that I come back and I'm like.
00:45:44.700
Like, oh, my gosh, like what in the way do I even catch up?
00:45:50.540
And I just had to get to a point where I'm OK with that.
00:45:56.500
You know, I'm like if somebody drops a nuclear bomb on America, like somebody will call me and let me know if it's on the weekend.
00:46:10.940
And I think a lot of people who have been really invested in it, especially since 2020, are kind of tapering off a little bit.
00:46:18.740
Like I'm having a lot of really interesting conversations with fellow commentators that are like, I'm tired.
00:46:23.980
Like I need a break from this administration, from like the world.
00:46:33.060
So, yeah, I think that's that's all super helpful.
00:46:44.900
So let's make sure everyone knows where to follow you.
00:46:47.540
I want to make sure everyone is, you know, getting your content.
00:46:57.240
And you can find everything from like links to the podcast to courses and coaching and everything in between there.
00:47:11.820
And if you aren't already following or subscribed, make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, Spotify, Apple podcasts, anywhere you'd like.
00:47:20.360
And make sure to leave a review on Apple podcast.