The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - ALWAYS A LITTLE BIT 40 Ft. Anna Konkle ｜ Episode 229

00:00:00.000 WSIB presents The Lost Finger Club.

00:00:03.360 I just got here after a table saw me set up at work.

00:00:05.640 Oh, come meet the crew.

00:00:06.720 That's Pinky, Pointy, and Thumbs. 0.68

00:00:08.500 Hello.

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00:00:11.440 He can't help it.

00:00:12.280 Keep your bits.

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00:00:17.120 I love an underdog.

00:00:18.660 Like, I love being, like, underestimated.

00:00:21.320 And that 10 years ago, it was like, oh, an influencer.

00:00:24.860 And now they're like, it's an influencer.

00:00:26.280 And they're here.

00:00:27.840 And they're taking pictures.

00:00:30.000 And you're right, and you're right.

00:00:39.440 Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode

00:00:41.380 of the comment section show starring me, your fave.

00:00:43.380 Everybody knows me, who cares about me.

00:00:45.260 Onto the guests.

00:00:46.220 Today we have the iconic, the legendary,

00:00:48.260 the hilarious Anna Conkle. 0.97

00:00:50.380 Woo!

00:00:53.220 Welcome to the show, queen.

00:00:54.500 Thanks for having me.

00:00:55.500 Oh my God, I'm honored to have you.

00:00:56.940 I'm honored to be here.

00:00:57.780 My sister actually introduced me to Pen15,

00:00:59.880 have to get that out of the way really okay yeah one of the funniest shows ever congrats on that

00:01:05.100 thank you the whole concept of it hilarious it's a crazy concept it's really crazy we got to make

00:01:10.360 it but and it's been such a like iconic show that i think now younger like gen z people are starting

00:01:17.580 to clip a ton on tiktok have you noticed that i have yeah i about a year ago because you know

00:01:23.540 before that it was like just i'm 39 39 year olds coming up to me being like oh my god that was so

00:01:28.840 my time like whatever and then about a year ago 12 year olds would be like quoting me saying crazy

00:01:36.460 stuff right and I'd be like your mom's right there you shouldn't hear that yeah um yeah and

00:01:42.440 being like you're on tiktok I mean like it's also a show yeah I was like I was really curious like

00:01:47.580 if you've seen a lot of the I've seen countless really popular edits of you and Maya from the

00:01:52.600 show I will say that there I discovered because I'm not I'm like still discovering tiktok which

00:01:58.180 is embarrassing to say um i'm exploring um but like sadcore right is that what it is well i've

00:02:04.460 seen a lot of those but i've seen a lot of just like love like between two women like friends

00:02:09.940 best friends like platonic love more than anything i will say that the tiktok videos most of them

00:02:16.500 that i have seen and especially the emotional ones like make me cry yeah they make me cry too

00:02:21.520 yeah i feel like i'm there right with you yeah and something that i wasn't expecting to just be

00:02:26.220 you know gushy about it for a second is like the comment section with teens being like this is what

00:02:32.760 I'm going through right now and I thought I was alone and I can't you know Maya's going through

00:02:36.840 it too or Anna's going through it too that really broke me yeah and made me feel like oh wow this

00:02:41.620 has gone farther than we thought it would it's pretty it's really cool and it's very surreal

00:02:46.060 yeah like through generations generations aren't like ew they're old some of them actually some of

00:02:52.380 the comments are like why did they have so many wrinkles like can she get a nose job they're like

00:02:57.700 why is there so much older looking than the other kids it's like yeah we're not kids that's kind of

00:03:02.620 the joke but then they get roasted yeah so it's fine so it all works out do you know what you're 0.99

00:03:06.640 watching yeah it's nature probably research it look it up idiot right i'm like heart yeah you 0.88

00:03:14.720 secretly liking me too for my burner well i need a burner yeah i need a burner i'm just like heart 0.88

00:03:20.240 whoops nope you're threatening yeah okay well just to kind of backpedal a little from pen 15

00:03:27.420 I do want to talk about just acting as a whole how you got into acting like what drew you to it

00:03:32.320 like was it something that you were always like I think I'm gonna be an actor or was it something

00:03:35.920 you kind of fell into I started doing community theater in Massachusetts where I I grew up I was

00:03:43.160 probably in second grade and I just like yeah I loved I was like a flower in um Alice in Wonderland

00:03:49.660 and I was like always getting these terrible parts and I was so into it and um yeah I was

00:03:55.380 totally a theater nerd and eventually I started auditioning for commercials in Boston did not

00:04:01.520 nothing happened there just kept going in grinding um and and yeah and like before that and I loved

00:04:08.740 to sing I would my dad would play the guitar and I'd sing and it was but that was sort of it it

00:04:14.880 wasn't an idea of like you know you can do this professionally or anything and you know I didn't

00:04:20.300 really see that in my town growing up were your parents like artists were they super supportive

00:04:25.240 of you pursuing art or were they just kind of like whatever you want to do I'll be there yeah

00:04:29.860 they were they were always super supportive they loved the performances I do think in retrospect

00:04:34.940 that that was part of me like the moth to light being like love me you know and just wanting that

00:04:42.500 and feeling like yeah feeling seen through it I think was a part of it but I also you know there

00:04:49.700 was a lot of like discord in my house and another way I dealt with it was just like singing you know

00:04:56.080 my parents would be like screaming downstairs and I would do my own screaming which was belting to

00:05:00.280 Celine Dion yeah in my bedroom and I don't know all those things combined I just I really loved

00:05:07.780 it and my parents were sort of like secret artists I think where my dad my mom wrote a lot of poetry

00:05:13.780 my dad always talked about you know a different career as like a carpenter that he had had before

00:05:18.800 and then they both sort of went towards for me like corporate life more where my dad became like

00:05:26.700 a human resource manager for 7-eleven yeah my as you do as one does my mom was an RN nurse and

00:05:34.080 And and they were and she had multiple jobs at certain points.

00:05:36.640 So they were just like grinding. 0.97

00:05:38.260 There's a lot of like living paycheck to paycheck.

00:05:40.560 And I think watching them really both in different ways, not like their jobs.

00:05:46.940 Yeah.

00:05:47.160 There's a lot of note taking on my end of being like, OK, don't do that.

00:05:50.520 Mom's always wishing she could like write poetry professionally.

00:05:53.700 How do you like, you know, chase what your soul is going to be happy with versus an idea of a life?

00:06:00.320 Yeah.

00:06:00.680 and then I kind of hyper fixated on that in a way that probably isn't totally beneficial but

00:06:05.240 but worked out yeah I mean sometimes yes in some ways yeah what about you how did you like

00:06:12.600 yeah I think like to an extent I was like kind of like you where I knew I loved attention yeah

00:06:20.520 but in a very specific way like I love to perform yep I love to entertain and like I was a very

00:06:26.760 like loquacious child so I love to talk and I love to like tell stories and even now I love to

00:06:33.540 exaggerate and like oh I love a captive audience you know when you're telling a story and you have

00:06:38.620 the room of that feeling I was chasing it have you done stand-up I have tried stand-up I'm so

00:06:44.420 bad at stand-up I bet you're great now I was I was gonna ask if there were other art forms that

00:06:48.760 you tried like I know you're a theater nerd at heart love that many every single one of my actor

00:06:53.220 different did you do improv for a while you know we did a little bit in school but really comedy

00:06:58.040 came out of me and Maya doing experimental theater in college oh wow and then doing like characters

00:07:03.200 so we were half taking ourselves really seriously studying Shakespeare and I don't know why I quoted

00:07:08.620 Shakespeare um you know Shakespeare whatever um and doing like yeah and doing just nerdy theater

00:07:18.300 stuff and then we both were doing experimental theater and you're sort of writing for yourself

00:07:22.740 and directing but it can be really self-serious or it can just take on a really like comedic

00:07:28.060 bent and so we started doing a bunch of characters and um they happened to be funny and then started

00:07:36.240 writing for ourselves and yeah so awesome but I think the the like other side of that is when I'm

00:07:42.140 doing something that's serious I'll just sort of like add lines yeah like you're not this isn't

00:07:48.060 comedy like you can't just like I'm like but comedies you're like you're just like comedy

00:07:53.440 you're just adding to the scene right well that's true yeah anything good yeah anything good yeah

00:07:59.800 you can make anything just a little bit funny yeah and you should all I mean like yeah the best

00:08:04.840 the best movies that you cry at you're laughing at too yeah I agree I was gonna ask you if you

00:08:12.440 if you did anything serious like like if you ever liked really serious theater too because I've had

00:08:16.920 some friends who are really great improv people but they're like oh but i would love to do like

00:08:20.660 the shakespeare theater and i'm like well that's not funny that's that's real serious that's serious

00:08:25.620 theater yeah yeah i was never great at shakespeare i i definitely like when i went to college wanted

00:08:34.520 just to do serious stuff like comedy was not on on my mind but i think i didn't realize i didn't

00:08:40.960 realize how much it was a part of my life my mom's very funny my dad super funny um but they

00:08:47.940 I don't know it wasn't framed as like in a genre you know what I mean it was like this is just how

00:08:53.720 we are yeah this is yeah this is just something fun I do and and if I if you're not funny like

00:08:58.460 not in words but the vibe was like if you can't make my dad laugh or if you can't roast him or

00:09:03.420 you can't like you're not getting his respect right you know what I mean so it's just sort of

00:09:08.080 learned of like that's true yeah you just have to keep up yeah i've talked i've talked about that

00:09:12.840 before too because my shtick obviously online is like making fun of men and like that's how i built

00:09:18.020 my yes my platform yeah right from the from the bones and ashes of men who hate me uh thank god

00:09:24.320 amen yeah bye yeah and i've get i've gotten asked a lot about like how i got good at roasting how i

00:09:32.160 got good at being funny whoa our meals ready for real I've also said the same thing I'm like in

00:09:39.340 the home I got good in the home like my parents are like I'm Samoan too so I'm Polynesian and 0.66

00:09:44.420 like it's making fun of each other and like roasting each other has been like a very prominent

00:09:49.420 thing in my culture and in my family so like I had to I honestly had no choice but to get good

00:09:54.540 yeah get good quickly and was it put in a way of like oh you're valued if you're funny or is it

00:09:59.440 just what you're shown i think it's just what you're shown i think it's also just like it's

00:10:04.440 like again the captive audience thing it's like i won the room like if we're if we're in a battle

00:10:09.440 of wits and i won the room and it's my family who like my family does not laugh at things that

00:10:14.440 are not funny so like you're not gonna give that yeah i got a real tough audience at home okay okay

00:10:19.040 and we like i i joke it well i will pivot really quick when you mentioned community theater yeah

00:10:23.560 i recently went my my little brother who i'm i'm 30 gonna be 31 my little brother is um

00:10:28.860 21 gonna be 22 and so he recently joined community theater which like we were so happy for him

00:10:36.120 because he's always been so imaginative and we were like my mom has been telling him you should

00:10:40.800 join community theater and he's like nah and then he recently decided to join he was starred in a

00:10:45.980 play he started in high school musical and he played two different roles he played troy and

00:10:50.860 zeke like on different days sorry yeah big shoes wow but i went we went and watched it like literally

00:10:57.540 my family was so my brother is the most colorful like character like he is such a specific kind of

00:11:03.040 person so he's hilarious unintentionally and intentionally that's sometimes the best one

00:11:08.040 i'm telling you like and honestly the best people to be in show business i would say because

00:11:11.940 oh totally nothing you say is like ever affecting them like yeah that's i mean that seriously anyway

00:11:18.040 well but what's funny is my mom so my dad was like more the roaster my mom was unintentionally

00:11:24.100 funny yeah but she was super sensitive is oh yeah like now talked about it but it's like

00:11:29.900 she would get really like sad and kind of like a little girl a little bit like if we

00:11:35.480 if we were like oh my god mom's voice is bad like it's mean you know what I mean but we'd be like

00:11:41.160 can you stop singing and she'd be like I love to sing you know what I mean so that dynamic was

00:11:48.680 really hard that is so funny your dad your dad to be like secret which is why they divorced

00:11:53.480 and then I later had to like after the divorce I have like no one in my corner to be like isn't 0.83

00:11:59.300 mom fucking crazy and then I had to just like go off on my own and just roast her and then that

00:12:05.620 didn't work and eventually I was like okay and that is why they divorced so ultimately yeah no 0.95

00:12:10.960 they were not it was not a good fit yeah it's not it's a mismatch I agree with that too though in

00:12:18.220 this of like wanting to be like get a little this guy and then being like oh god it's gonna give

00:12:23.680 everything well and i feel like i'm a mix unfortunately like i found in the pen 15 editing

00:12:28.560 room that like there were times when we're editing and like well that part's funny that's not funny

00:12:33.640 and everyone's like that's the funniest part of the scene and i was like oh i didn't mean i what

00:12:38.520 am i doing that's funny yeah and they're like so you guys hate me so everyone's making fun of me

00:12:42.940 everyone's laughing that's funny when I try really hard and I'm really authentic and loving

00:12:47.100 that's funny that's hilarious yeah it's so funny

00:12:50.480 so like speaking of pen 15 again like how how did the idea of pen 15 come about like how was that

00:12:58.720 born uh between the two of you like yeah well Maya and I after so we met junior year of college

00:13:04.300 we were studying experimental theater and we were like watching each other do funny characters

00:13:09.580 i wanted to write a web series for us it makes me sound so old because they were like new

00:13:14.920 you're real though that's how broad city got picked up too yeah yeah there were yeah there

00:13:19.540 were a few few that we were like yeah they had made that and it was amazing and and so yeah i

00:13:26.240 had done someone else's web series and i was like there's this new thing maya and we could do it too

00:13:31.880 and all you have to do whatever and so she was living we both went to school in new york but

00:13:37.340 she had moved back to LA she's from here and I was still in New York I was going through a breakup

00:13:41.880 with my boyfriend really dramatic and I was like I'm coming to LA we're making this web series and

00:13:47.460 I packed my car and drove across the country and stayed on our couch for a while and we did

00:13:52.420 Kickstarter we raised like seven thousand dollars or something like that and we shot maybe seven

00:13:57.620 episodes I think um damn off seven grand yeah period yeah I mean it was shady like we were

00:14:04.120 going to goodwill and getting the costumes and then returning them um sorry had to do what you

00:14:09.540 had to do at the time we make mistakes yeah we grow we've grown they've changed their return

00:14:14.400 policy probably because of us but that's neither here nor there no they caught on after one i was

00:14:19.820 like okay i'll keep it i'll keep the 12 men's shirts i wanted them you're right um and so yeah

00:14:28.240 we made this web series and it was every episode was about um like it was a different pilot of a

00:14:34.500 reality show a different reality show that didn't get picked up so we got to do all these fun

00:14:39.780 characters and then like girls had come out at that time and so it happened to be a moment in

00:14:46.760 the industry where we were being taken seriously just for the fact ironically that we were making

00:14:52.980 our own stuff and starring in it i think because there had been that blueprint that it worked

00:14:57.000 so thank you Lena Dunham for real they were like okay um what do you got and we really didn't have

00:15:03.420 much and but there was one executive who we met with and she said something like because I think

00:15:09.960 we were talking a lot about like well our agent thinks this and our agent thinks that and she was

00:15:13.540 like your web series is so fucking weird stop listening to your agent right like what do you 0.90

00:15:19.520 love what would you love to make that everybody else hated that that you loved and we immediately 0.97

00:15:25.520 were like playing rejects and it's the thing and playing like rejects in middle school

00:15:30.080 you know and talking about all of these stories that we have that feel like inappropriate to talk

00:15:36.180 about like um we haven't been able to see it on you know lizzie mcguire and i'm not going to give

00:15:41.940 it to a real 13 year old to do this for real yeah we want to do it yeah and and slowly it became

00:15:49.260 we started with an idea about a cult and that went away we knew we wanted to play 13 and

00:15:55.100 eventually it became yeah we'll be you know best friends in the year 2000 um two rejects like

00:16:00.060 barely getting by surrounded by real 13 year olds and um everyone thought we were insane they were

00:16:06.340 like most people not everybody and there was also the question of like that's illegal how are you

00:16:10.980 gonna how are you gonna do that right um but it was yeah so it took a really long time to get made

00:16:18.100 but we got to make it and it's very and thank god lucky thank god well and it's it is one of those

00:16:23.160 things where you like you have something so new and so like groundbreaking that it's like it takes

00:16:29.560 like a very specific and special person to be like you know what this is worth making for sure

00:16:34.300 which is the worst part I feel like of pitching and trying to get stuff greenlit and it's so I

00:16:39.660 don't know how you felt with this but like having your friend next to you when you have an insane

00:16:44.900 idea and you both laughing at the same moments right and kind of cheering each other on was

00:16:51.140 very necessary like I don't think either of us would have had the courage because it did take

00:16:57.260 bravery to go in and have all the dudes in the room being like I don't gotta and being like well

00:17:02.960 we do you know right and doing that over and over and over until we really believed ourselves and

00:17:10.740 convinced ourselves that this was like this had to happen one way or another right you know

00:17:14.960 sometimes that only happens with like you know your friend or your sister or your whatever you're

00:17:19.800 ride or die cheerleader absolutely it's like that lady gaga quote when she's like 99 people in a

00:17:24.320 room you only need one to believe in you i love that and thank god if it's your bestie like thank 0.66

00:17:28.940 fucking god like i'm curious how how do you like writing versus starring in it like do you like 0.86

00:17:34.400 writing more do you like them differently in different ways as opposed to acting actually 0.98

00:17:39.080 i think it well doing both at the same time because we were show running and writing pen

00:17:44.880 directing a bit of it and then starring it like wrecked me like it was the best thing creatively

00:17:51.160 ever that I could have ever imagined but it was like 16 hour days for years you're like in a bind

00:17:58.640 you know uh you're like adding hairs to your face every morning and then you're like rewriting and

00:18:05.760 telling you know like can we change the camera to this angle and whatever and people are like you're

00:18:09.520 13 yeah feeling kind of honestly like having to convince people still I think because of the

00:18:16.720 nature of the characters we were playing that we were in charge that was like a constant weird

00:18:23.180 thing really because you're like I you know I'm not actually 13 right yeah I think it was

00:18:28.360 psychological you know what I mean I think people would be like are you talking to me you know

00:18:33.020 because you've just been like doing like a crazy dance or you've just been like I don't know like 0.99

00:18:39.020 looking at your vagina and like you're just you're it's such a it's such it's a show filled 0.99

00:18:45.480 with such infantile and not infantile um uh confessions right that there's just a level to 0.99

00:18:54.340 it i think that when the scene was you know done that people would be like forget that we were

00:19:01.460 writing yeah when he goes get charged to some extent you go sit in the director's chair and

00:19:05.320 they're like little girls are not allowed here exactly exactly you have to go to school on set

00:19:10.600 exactly so yeah that was that was weird and and it was just yeah it was very very very long days

00:19:17.000 for many many years and also there's the nature of like you're writing it and then you're in

00:19:21.900 pre-production and then you're shooting it and then you're in editing and then you're in press

00:19:26.860 because now it's out and then you're back to the writer's room you know whereas if you're just

00:19:30.400 acting like you're gonna get like yeah you just break or whatever and so but i i really love

00:19:36.260 writing and i love acting too but writing is a little bit less stressful to me oh that's fair

00:19:42.840 yeah i think do you like writing your own stuff or do you like writing other for other people

00:19:47.700 like do you have a preference i'm so curious i'm starting to venture into writing so i was gonna

00:19:53.400 ask you selfishly i'm asking yeah for me um i well what are you writing i feel like i read

00:19:59.560 well currently right now i'm writing i'm working actually on a show with my sister who's over

00:20:04.140 there and amanda who's my producer we're actually writing a show together that we're we've are

00:20:09.940 pitching or in the process of pitching but it's so exciting i know it's very exciting and it's

00:20:14.120 like baby's first time writing baby's first time writing baby's first time writing for tv it's

00:20:18.820 gonna be great and it has been like really fucking fun and like it has very creative yeah it's like

00:20:24.420 it's scratching a completely different itch i didn't even know i had because i feel like i 0.50

00:20:28.860 I have such a, I really want to get into acting.

00:20:30.740 That's like my newer thing

00:20:31.720 that I've been working on the past year.

00:20:33.700 So like moving into writing,

00:20:35.680 cause I've written a book

00:20:36.500 and I'm writing fiction books currently,

00:20:39.100 but like writing for TV feels so daunting to me

00:20:41.860 because I was like, because I love comedy on TV

00:20:45.040 and I love watching TV and I love consuming.

00:20:48.080 So I feel like I was making it real grand in my head

00:20:50.740 to the point where I'm like,

00:20:51.660 I can't even venture that mountain.

00:20:53.360 Did you feel like that with the book?

00:20:55.000 If you don't mind me asking, sorry,

00:20:56.280 I don't mean to turn that you're like,

00:20:57.240 this is, I'm asking.

00:20:58.240 no no you know like so um i have a few that reminds me that reminds me um honestly no with

00:21:04.820 the book felt different and i think that was maybe the weird distinction in my head because like

00:21:09.140 the first the first book i've already put out was like memoir slash self-help which like i was very

00:21:15.440 like adamant about like i didn't want it to be too memoir-y because i'm in my 30s so it's like

00:21:22.340 i really need to live a little bit more life to start like for real doing memoir but it was a lot

00:21:26.560 of self-help based stuff because that's like my my platform that I've grown and everything about

00:21:31.260 like decentering men and confidence and that kind of thing um so that one felt very like hard for me

00:21:37.480 in the sense that it feels hard to be vulnerable publicly because I in the book I wrote about a lot

00:21:42.440 of really traumatizing personal experiences that have kind of shaped me and so like that was the

00:21:48.120 only part that really felt difficult and then the fiction writing is really fun for me because it's

00:21:53.540 like it involves world building and involves like banter and like writing different characters and

00:21:58.420 colors and that kind of thing but for tv I feel like I'm like writing for a completely different

00:22:03.480 room and audience I don't know like it feels so daunting to me comparatively I think I felt and

00:22:09.040 and now in retrospect it I I definitely I think imposter syndrome is something like most artists

00:22:14.820 deal with to some extent I think although yeah I heard someone else recently say that

00:22:19.660 that that's like something as women that we've actually been told and it's like

00:22:23.680 dudes aren't saying that which is very interesting that's a good point you know i'm dealing with

00:22:27.280 imposter syndrome although i have heard friends but like i don't know anyway there's just a

00:22:32.260 different maybe maybe yeah um but like yeah with in the theater scene in new york like when i i

00:22:40.440 went to theater school i was i was i really struggled with that i think and feeling like

00:22:45.060 it was hard for me to hear my own perspective I didn't realize how much I was posing how much I

00:22:51.860 was just trying to be like my idea of like elite theater like high level art whatever yeah and then

00:22:58.640 moving to LA was such a moment for me on many levels but one of which being like I don't know

00:23:08.060 seeing people writing in coffee shops something about that like blew my mind like they just bought

00:23:15.060 final draft yeah they just are doing it's like accessible they can and it's the same in new york

00:23:21.220 but something about it just like turned a light on in a different way and of going like and there

00:23:27.080 was more overtness here versus in new york about people being like yeah i just want to sell a show

00:23:31.920 yeah in a way that i actually appreciated where in new york it was like i'm making the best thing

00:23:36.700 that's ever existed you know what I mean and I'm not doing it for money right exactly for art well

00:23:41.620 right that's exactly it like going to college was like I could live on a mattress on the floor if

00:23:46.220 I'm making art I'll be happy and then three years later I'm working eight hours a week and I'm like 0.94

00:23:51.800 I'm exhausted and not doing theater by the way I'm waiting tables I'm fucking yeah I'm depressed

00:23:56.880 I'm out like I thought I could I can't I'm out right and but it was like and then going to LA 0.95

00:24:02.420 and people being like yeah i just want to sell a fucking procedural you know and i was like

00:24:06.820 okay yeah but it felt like permission i don't know it's probably sort of a sad mission statement but 0.92

00:24:14.380 i started to go like i can make something bad too like no that's such a good way of looking at why 0.96

00:24:20.480 do i who am i that i'm like i have to make the best thing like what if i just want to fucking

00:24:25.440 have the privilege of being paid to make something creative that's so true that is such a good point

00:24:31.740 And how many things, I mean, first of all, it's all subjective.

00:24:35.460 Right, yes. 0.91

00:24:36.020 So the thing that I think is garbage, somebody else's beacon. 0.98

00:24:40.540 Right. 0.96

00:24:40.940 And there's room for all of it.

00:24:42.200 And we need all of it.

00:24:43.580 Yeah, bad art is also important.

00:24:45.480 Bad art is important.

00:24:46.660 And one person's bad art is another person's everything.

00:24:49.660 Exactly, exactly.

00:24:50.080 And you're so right about it being subjective, which is what I've been kind of working on through the audition process and everything, too.

00:24:56.440 Yes.

00:24:56.700 Oh, my God, I want to hear all of that.

00:24:57.960 it's very like i mean obviously i started doing it after i became someone um even though i became

00:25:04.000 someone yeah you were someone before it too you're right this does not add value to my life you're

00:25:09.300 right the money and attention is just a nice it's just a nice plus yeah just a cherry yeah

00:25:15.260 nothing more uh yeah i feel like when i started doing i i've always wanted to act like that that

00:25:22.140 is really yeah i just when i was in college i just never thought it was an option i like for me

00:25:26.800 and just like how i look and everything i'm like i know i'm not ugly but i know no one really looks

00:25:31.580 like me on tv i know that too like that's like how i would think a lot so i feel like when i was

00:25:35.920 a kid or you're so gorgeous by the way but i know you know that thank you i'm just saying

00:25:41.260 i appreciate that as are you um but i really do think that i was like that would be awesome but

00:25:49.380 i need to have like a real job probably and then maybe like that's what i would think about it like

00:25:54.260 you had a plan yeah so i was like and i'm a virgo so i feel like that was another thing of me like

00:25:58.700 safety netting before i even dared to dream i would like think really big but i'd be like well

00:26:03.900 i need to be logical about how i get there like that's kind of how i would like amazing yeah wow

00:26:08.820 how true to like the map have you been if you don't mind me asking not at all honestly like

00:26:13.220 because my initial plan in college i've majored in journalism and communication so my initial plan

00:26:17.860 because i grew up an athlete was to work in sports and i wanted to do like broadcast journalism wow

00:26:22.980 but i really like i wanted to do sports commentating like i would have loved to do that

00:26:27.140 i think at the time but really what i wanted to do was follow like athletes and do like long-form

00:26:33.660 narrative storytelling so i wanted to do like you know when you see like those really long

00:26:37.740 pieces written on people in like vanity fair like that was the kind of writing i wanted to do was

00:26:41.220 like see who they were off the field see who they were in their personal lives like that kind of

00:26:45.460 thing because i enjoy spending time with people getting to know them so that was kind of like

00:26:49.160 what I really wanted to do but I was like well I could do the journalism route I can learn how to

00:26:53.120 talk on camera and edit and cameras and lighting and sound and all of that stuff right and I didn't

00:26:59.260 sit and it made a difference yeah but you told them what to do yeah and I'm using my journalism

00:27:04.560 degree you are yeah so I'm getting hard truths in this chair yes what do you want to know and I

00:27:10.000 I think like that was my way of getting on camera like I was like okay well hopefully that will lead

00:27:15.180 to maybe on camera and then maybe I'll be so charming and awesome that I'll do other things

00:27:18.700 like that's what i would think yeah and then um i ended up graduating from college really hard to

00:27:23.760 get a job obviously and then i did pr for a while which is funny because that's like the enemy of

00:27:28.520 journalism in a lot of ways so i kind of pr trained myself low-key by doing pr for a while

00:27:33.380 and then i got a job at the nfl um which they hate when i mention it but it's true

00:27:38.580 and uh who's they the nfl why oh because they fired me and they don't like when i talk about

00:27:43.940 it okay well you worked at the nfl and they fired me yeah and they fired and they fired me and we're

00:27:49.760 talking about it they have like legitimately told people that have told my team like we really don't

00:27:54.920 like when she says that and i'm like when i don't like that you give people ct so what are we

00:27:58.920 supposed to do about that we don't all get what we want yeah i don't like that you hire abusers

00:28:02.600 now what like i guess we both have things we don't like about each other but anywho i was like and i

00:28:07.340 am not angry about it anymore and listen that there is no hard feelings okay well now i want

00:28:13.700 to ask so many questions but please do i won't do well what happened oh when i got fired well

00:28:18.720 what happened is essentially like well not that yeah i was like anyway i was like honestly how

00:28:23.420 inappropriate of you fair i brought it up but i got i honestly got fired because what they told

00:28:30.960 me at the time was that they were letting me go like every time i was like so you're firing me 0.94

00:28:35.300 they they would correct me and be like no we're letting you go and i'm like who gives a fuck 0.54

00:28:38.760 about the verbiage like i no longer work here correct right like i wish i had your strength 0.71

00:28:43.460 to oh i'd be like absolutely what time do you need me out and you know what's funny is at the

00:28:50.080 time like the day before that um my manager who hated my guts um i told her i would like to

00:28:58.180 transfer teams like like i had told her that the day before she fired me no because i was like this 0.87

00:29:02.940 isn't working for me um i feel like you fucking hate me and you make it really hard for me to do 0.84

00:29:08.440 my job well and what's ironic is my job there at the time was to grow an account from scratch 0.95

00:29:14.740 to specifically target women turns out i'm pretty good at that yeah uh if they had only listened to

00:29:22.140 me wow where could they have been but you know what it worked out because when they fired me

00:29:27.120 though the reasoning was just like this this position no longer works in this capacity like

00:29:31.600 we don't need it anymore that was kind of what they told me all the women died yeah

00:29:35.700 or have done something I don't know if you know we're about to uh that's not funny mind you when

00:29:42.080 I like was like about to get fired on unbeknownst to me right she slacked me and was like can you

00:29:49.720 come to the conference room so we can finish our conversation from yesterday about me transferring 0.99

00:29:52.780 teams and I said sure to brought my work laptop that to the meeting there's a woman in HR I'm

00:29:59.700 like thinking oh okay well we're gonna talk about transferring she goes we're letting you go I go

00:30:03.980 so no notes for this meeting yeah laptop shut like I guess you guys don't need me to take okay

00:30:10.400 perfect so then they let me go in that particular uh fashion and what I have not really talked about

00:30:17.480 before is that when they let me go they like again told me they're laying me off right um so that

00:30:23.720 would mean that I qualify for unemployment right because it's it was out of my control right and

00:30:27.900 they told me this right and had me sign paperwork okay and I was like okay and then I left and I

00:30:33.560 I was really proud of myself because I didn't cry because at that point I hated that job and I was

00:30:37.760 being like mentally tortured at that job it was really really bad and so then I waited till I got

00:30:43.420 to my car and something petty that I did was like we do they were like make sure you return your 0.63

00:30:48.680 parking pass I did it because I was that mad I was like I'm fucking was it paper you're laminated

00:30:54.800 no it was laminated wow that's why they needed it back and I said no you guys are the NFL you 0.77

00:30:58.880 can reprint a new one so then i probably have a laminator in the house let's be honest and i was

00:31:04.140 like so obviously deeply upset i had never been fired like that before it also just threw my

00:31:09.260 entire life off the track i like you had a plan yeah i had a plan and i was working up the courage

00:31:14.440 to leave but like i was like i have bills to pay i have things to do i can't like just quit my job

00:31:19.760 like and so they gave me no choice told me not to come back and so then because i technically i

00:31:25.640 qualified for unemployment when I tried to file like a couple days later looking through my

00:31:30.620 paperwork I they they wrote that I was terminated for negligence and I didn't know that when they

00:31:35.500 made me sign the papers uh which is like what like I was so I was very upset so then I I called

00:31:42.360 and at this point I was like getting like my mojo back a little bit because that had nothing like

00:31:46.960 that had ever happened to me so my confidence really took a hit which was like rare for me

00:31:51.040 pretty confident person but like it was very hard for me at the time and i was like

00:31:55.320 okay so i had to call the office and then they were like trying to argue with as soon as i said

00:32:00.980 i like i i want to talk to someone about you guys wrongfully terminating me and then all of a sudden

00:32:05.860 they were like we'll call you back then they called me back lawyers on the phone and then

00:32:10.380 they're trying to argue with me about the verbiage being used and i was like you guys are not going

00:32:14.220 to argue with me about this like you told me what happened like verbally you corrected me multiple 0.76

00:32:19.160 fucking times throughout the meeting and i even said like i was like i just need to know if you 0.89

00:32:22.840 guys are going to contest unemployment or not that's all i need to know because if that's the 0.98

00:32:25.940 case i'm going to hire a lawyer and they were very like immediately as soon as i said that they went

00:32:30.740 listen if you want to tell people that you got laid off that's fine with us tell people i remember

00:32:38.380 distinctly them saying that because i said on the phone i literally went oh don't worry i'm gonna

00:32:43.000 to tell everyone what happened to me and at the time i was not this so like i was just saying

00:32:49.640 that on my promise yeah and i was like and one thing is never sleep on me i am coming back

00:32:54.840 so i true they were not counting on me getting famous in any i mean that's probably not yeah

00:33:01.920 most companies are like they they really thought they were gonna never hear from me ever again

00:33:08.280 which granted i haven't reached out to them at all like they like at all but as soon as i started

00:33:13.460 doing this um so on top of that like basically after they let me go and threw me off track they

00:33:19.060 they were going to like try to ruin my life like i i had no money i had no i had nowhere to get

00:33:23.540 money from i had to apply for new jobs and then at that point coveted hit so like right after i

00:33:27.860 like got approved for it then then coveted but if i didn't call they would have so you didn't get

00:33:33.380 approved yes i did thank god and they would have dicked me over on purpose because they don't care

00:33:38.080 about me obviously right i was working over 20 hours a week which is technically not part-time

00:33:43.040 even though i was under part-time no health insurance no nothing so like it really was

00:33:47.540 one of those things where i was like this wasn't meant for me like clearly it wasn't i was so

00:33:51.480 unhappy yeah i felt so not creatively fulfilled in any way i felt not listened to and it was like

00:33:57.040 making me feel like i had no real talent or anything to offer which that job is hard to get

00:34:02.240 with no connection like anywhere in there it thrives off nepotism like most show business

00:34:06.720 of stuff entertainment sports one in the same so it was very like you know i would say that was like

00:34:13.460 my early saturn return i had like a pretty early one at the time because i think i was 24 at the

00:34:18.500 time so it really worked out exactly the way it was supposed to and then now i do this and as i

00:34:24.400 started telling people oh i was working at the nfl when i got fired and then covid hit and then i

00:34:28.020 started doing this and i started telling people one of the reasons they told me they were firing

00:34:31.920 me in the meeting because it's true was that i i wasn't capable of growing a following and they

00:34:36.180 just kind of assumed that was part of the part of the deal so that's why they were cutting the

00:34:39.820 position but turns out i'm pretty good at growing a following you just had to listen to me wow but

00:34:44.600 thank god they didn't it all worked out yeah no everything happened as it was supposed to but i

00:34:49.640 can't help but wonder what your like pitch was for them not that i mean it was a gajillion years ago

00:34:55.580 but to grow their following and to like bring women more into the fold i tried yeah i was like

00:35:00.180 even when i did the interview because their interview process is crazy like i had to do like

00:35:03.840 i had to do three rounds of interviews wow and the last one was in person but the first two were

00:35:08.780 virtual one was a phone call one was on zoom the third one's in person wow this is all pre-covid

00:35:13.500 too but like one of the interviews they do on the phone is they just test football iq so they

00:35:19.940 literally just test like whether or not you actually know anything about football and i

00:35:23.620 don't know if that's specific to women i can't speak to it wow but like question i bet reddit

00:35:28.240 i'm not sure yeah i should go look at that yeah but i did have to do a football iq test like so

00:35:34.280 they asked me a lot about the generic logistics of football and then they asked me more specifics

00:35:39.920 making me nervous because i was like a test yeah so they asked me about players they asked me about

00:35:45.460 storylines they asked me about trades like they asked me about all kinds of stuff mind you i knew

00:35:50.320 a lot i know a lot about football obviously i know a lot about football especially at the time

00:35:54.020 because i was like studying at school but then there's layers of football that i don't understand

00:35:59.720 because i don't consume it in the same weird way that men do who love football right so i don't

00:36:04.460 absorb it like it's me so there's certain things i would probably miss because i'm not super into

00:36:09.280 it however my man is a former football player played in college like could have gone pro that

00:36:14.560 kind of thing so he's played football his whole life and watched football he doesn't love it like

00:36:18.760 weirdos but he's just he knows a lot about it so the night before my interview I literally wrote

00:36:24.880 down like a million things like I asked him about like storylines I asked him about interesting

00:36:30.300 things to say like I asked him about opinions so technically I cheated but you know what

00:36:35.580 I did it and it worked like I was like I don't know if that's cheating yeah you remembered it 0.97

00:36:40.700 one thing about women that's how we studied for tests you asked him he told you you remembered

00:36:44.560 it you answered it and one thing about women is they are resourceful yeah so i literally i remember 0.99

00:36:49.060 on that on that call i was blowing their minds with the shit i was saying it was literally 0.97

00:36:54.700 from him like he was giving me all these little nuggets great i was just using them all and i 0.98

00:37:00.240 literally was like this is me working the system yeah turns out it was for not but it ended up

00:37:06.020 working out anyways yeah yeah but i was like being so resourceful i was like you know i know someone

00:37:10.700 who knows a lot about football i'm just gonna copy what he says i feel like you'll get something

00:37:15.800 they'll be like can you be a consultant or can you right whatever i you would think i i feel like

00:37:22.020 i feel like i'm like enemy number one to them probably but the nba loves me so that worked out

00:37:27.740 great yeah i was like yeah i guess i'll love basketball now i know more about basketball

00:37:31.620 than i do about football oh that's nice you're from boston yeah where was your dad a big sports

00:37:36.820 guy or your mom not really but my brother who's 11 years older loved the celtics loved the red

00:37:44.200 sox oh nice yeah i remember he i was in first grade and he was like the coolest person ever

00:37:50.240 to me and he you know collected cards did you collect like any i didn't know that missed me

00:37:56.480 it's a little it's a little nerdy yeah like that's sort of the headline for my family it's like

00:38:01.160 a little nerdy and so i i was like got a little binder and whatever i didn't have any and he gave

00:38:08.120 me this like rookie larry bird card oh nice and then i brought it into my class and for whatever

00:38:15.140 reason my class was first second and third graders and a third grader had like four very

00:38:19.700 vibrantly colored um x-men cards okay and they were like i'll treat like four for that one 0.99

00:38:26.380 and i was like absolutely wow you're all idiot yeah you just got my brother was very upset 0.99

00:38:34.140 and i went back and i was like i'm gonna need that back so here's the thing he fucking wouldn't 1.00

00:38:39.820 give it back to me no way because he swindled you yeah you know what he was doing he was like 0.98

00:38:44.620 floor of the and i was in first grade and he was in third that's wrong damn his dad was probably 1.00

00:38:50.880 like where'd you get just framed yeah they're living off your spoils idiot okay to pivot back 0.99

00:38:59.640 what were you said you were doing like 80 hours a week when you were trying like you were in school 0.99

00:39:03.900 and stuff were you serving or did you have a lot of jobs yeah i was well yeah i would be i nannied

00:39:08.960 and then i waited tables and that was the main thing like i was waiting tables maybe 40 hours a

00:39:14.560 week damn yeah and then i would be doing like weird downtown theater like in very kind of on

00:39:21.460 the nose like freezing warehouses and like just like making art you know like shirtless men on 0.99

00:39:28.480 leashes barking and i would just be like you know i don't know what the fuck i was doing but that 0.74

00:39:33.140 was my and then it was like rehearsals and then you'd be auditioning and on actors access and 0.99

00:39:39.180 you know getting new fucking headshots spending all the money that you made 0.97

00:39:43.300 waiting tables on headshots that for some reason were six thousand dollars and then stapling your 0.99

00:39:49.220 resume on the back and that whole thing that grind and um and then working brunch you know

00:39:55.540 what I mean and then going out yeah yeah all at the same time all at the same time that was like

00:40:00.920 early 20s in New York and it was but it's like I don't know you look back I wonder if you feel

00:40:06.260 like this at all and some of those earlier times like the web series or it's just it's you can't

00:40:13.500 you can't get them back right that grind time especially in the exciting about it yeah like

00:40:18.260 especially in a world prior to social media like for real like the way it is now and the way it

00:40:22.900 controls a lot of things like yeah I was going to ask you that question like as an artist like

00:40:26.680 you've been an artist in a decorated one for a while so like have you noticed like a huge shift

00:40:31.140 in terms of like the integration of social media with entertainment do you like it are you kind of

00:40:35.960 like averse to it depending like yeah i'm curious your thoughts i am personally overwhelmed by it

00:40:42.380 i mean i know that's not the craziest thing to say no but that's fair yeah i i have really

00:40:48.860 struggled with art in general and being an actor of like how to hear myself and what i was

00:40:55.460 wsib presents the lost eyeball club so what brought you here no safety goggles no he wore

00:41:05.040 of them around his neck mine too i feel so seen keep your bits learn more at practice safe work

00:41:12.120 dot ca kind of speaking to earlier of like that need that i have and that kind of started as a

00:41:21.860 kid to like have clapping or to have um you know some sort of validation around art me i'm the

00:41:29.760 vessel making the art is like self-esteem based yeah and so it became really hard for me to

00:41:37.260 and like going back to being like well why can't I make something bad yeah that was a revelation

00:41:41.720 for me I'm going like I don't want to keep like trying to be other people right you know but

00:41:47.320 sometimes it's been hard for me in my life to even know when I'm doing that yeah you know what I mean

00:41:51.580 yeah um and so social media has like the same energy for me right where it's like it of course

00:41:58.960 you want more likes of course you want more hearts of course you want more followers of

00:42:03.380 course i i and when i say you like i yeah yeah well it's a natural feeling to have when you're

00:42:08.840 bombarded with it constantly yeah but i don't and it's so a part of our business it's so a part of

00:42:14.800 what we do yeah but the irony and the like the the part that i could unpack forever and your

00:42:21.880 experience is so fascinating but of like there's no separation between business and personal it's

00:42:29.280 all meant to look the same and the more that it's meant to look the same the more followers

00:42:36.120 and success in your business that you're gonna have so how does one have a healthy boundary

00:42:41.820 and everyone has different needs I feel like mine is quite strong of like needing for my own mental

00:42:48.520 health and sense of self understanding like when does me as an as a as Anna that's not a product

00:42:55.760 yeah that's not trying to sell my voice my face my brain my body my whatever totally to the business

00:43:03.300 part of me that's like okay now I'm stepping into the day where like yeah this is my face saying the

00:43:08.780 lines and I am being paid for that but I'm not going to let that be my whole identity because

00:43:13.380 i'm more than one well you know whether it's good or bad when someone's saying you're like

00:43:20.000 you're great you're amazing and you know if you're at the height of your career and i'm not

00:43:25.520 you're not that great in that moment and when someone doesn't care about me and they're like

00:43:30.440 you know oh she hasn't done something in a while or whatever the narrative is like that's not real

00:43:36.000 either who i am isn't defined by either of those things no yeah but social media makes it so

00:43:41.560 confusing for me yeah and it makes it hard to just to discern right and it feels like that is an

00:43:47.600 intentional part of yeah how one does like super well on social media is blending those things and

00:43:54.820 I feel like to have a healthy personal life you probably have to be really good at um knowing how

00:44:02.180 to balance and separate those yeah like compartmentalize that's a question mark though

00:44:05.580 like I don't know how does one do it how is it like it it seems I I have a lot of reverence for

00:44:12.660 it yeah because I find it a little bit crippling yeah so the people that are able to do it and

00:44:18.620 like have their business and like have their art and have and I'm sure there's some natural

00:44:23.000 blending that happens but like how do you do it no you're right you're right and honestly you're

00:44:28.820 not you're that is not an uncommon feeling either because I've I've talked to a lot of people who 0.96

00:44:33.720 are only went up the traditional way and are still obviously doing the doing the the damn thing like

00:44:39.400 really still performing and entertaining but they they've all asked me like how do you like 0.96

00:44:43.960 do that and try to still be a performer like in some regard like you still do auditions and shit

00:44:50.080 and you also have to do this well yeah never mind that like what you're just having to create

00:44:55.140 every day and all the time yeah to like your own production company yeah keep the wheels turning

00:44:59.440 kind of deal which is fair because it's like it has completely shifted like the dynamics of

00:45:05.440 hollywood like it's completely which is exciting i love an underdog like i love being like

00:45:10.580 underestimated and had to be like and that 10 years ago it was like right oh an influencer

00:45:15.160 and now they're like it's an influencer and they're here and they're taking pictures

00:45:20.160 and you're right and you're right no that's so true and i and i i think that's like even for

00:45:26.900 someone like me who came up as a dickhead on the internet like I I really have said before like

00:45:31.460 the beauty of the integration to me lies in representation so it's like it's opened the door 0.52

00:45:37.400 for people of many different shapes and sizes and sexualities and identities to be able to to be

00:45:44.000 someone like there are people who look like me and sound like me and say all the things I do

00:45:48.120 would not have made it going the traditional route because it's just not what people see that's not

00:45:52.860 what they typically cast it's it's one of those things where like it has opened the door for a lot

00:45:57.660 of marginalized people to have their shot like to to be able to be seen and perceived in terms of

00:46:03.940 like entertainment like they're like I actually can do this too and like I don't look like what

00:46:08.520 you typically cast but I I also can do the same things it's like that's the beauty in it to me

00:46:13.640 the the horror in it to me is what you were describing which is like this complete lack

00:46:20.020 of sense of self that gets lost and like when I started doing this obviously I did not plan on

00:46:24.860 this ever happening so when it did I was like aggressively normal before I I like I had a

00:46:30.560 normal job I I paid bills I like you know lived paycheck to paycheck like I was doing the normal

00:46:36.180 things that you do when you're in your early 20s and so like doing this and like having grown up

00:46:41.160 on the internet or like the right when social media like launched for real I've always been

00:46:46.300 a voyeur so like seeing it now and then getting all of this exposure so quickly so fast at a rapid

00:46:53.300 rate was a lot to deal with and it was a real like I don't know how to describe it it felt like

00:46:59.500 almost like a a new version of myself like it's like now I distinct distinguish between like me

00:47:05.420 before this and me after really that's so interesting yeah because it feels so different

00:47:10.660 like the person I was before TikTok happened for me is not who I am now and I don't really know if

00:47:15.920 that's good or bad I feel like maybe one just exists in a different timeline like that's what

00:47:19.380 I've told myself yeah is like but I always tell myself I know I would have been happy though if I

00:47:23.800 if this didn't happen to me I know I still would have been happy and like and that brings me peace

00:47:29.040 and comfort in choosing to do this because I'm like I think like the what-ifs would have eaten

00:47:34.140 me alive obviously this was my dream so I was like yeah obviously I want to do this like for a living

00:47:38.320 what a what a joy and a privilege like I'm sure you feel that way too about art definitely like

00:47:42.580 getting paid to make art for a living is a dream that very few people can say they've done so like

00:47:48.080 that felt very lucky but it was yeah the boundaries thing is huge like I did I did have to learn that

00:47:53.480 I was pretty strict about boundaries initially because obviously what I did was not I wasn't

00:47:58.500 doing vlogs I wasn't doing like spend the day with me like like when people like get ready with me to

00:48:03.920 go to the store like I was me doing as ASMR by the way you're like what's she doing I just had

00:48:08.500 to explain i got it yeah exactly like i it my thankfully my platform from the very beginning

00:48:16.040 and probably this was this was very intentional because this is just who i am as a person i'm

00:48:20.100 pretty private person in a lot of ways in that stuff but like i would say it's also happened

00:48:25.440 that way because i was in my 20s when i got it like lots of people on social media now got it

00:48:30.220 when they were 16 17 years old like just some massive amount of fame and attention and money

00:48:35.900 um i'm glad it happened to me after i was fully formed as an adult somewhat like thank god i was

00:48:42.180 like god thank god it did not happen to me when i was 14 internet culture like when you were in

00:48:46.300 middle school because i'm 39 yeah so and i'm 30 gonna be 31 okay so when the internet kind of

00:48:53.040 like came out really and was like in our home it was in fifth grade and it was dial up and it was

00:49:00.540 there was one computer in the living room yes and that was the family tool by the way like it wasn't

00:49:07.220 like you know you could like god forbid you bedazzled it yeah do you know what I mean I feel

00:49:12.880 like there's this like optics of year 2000 that was like oh like tech and like we're making it

00:49:18.520 cutesy and it's like no no that's what we're doing now yeah yeah before it was like that's the family

00:49:22.860 like car yeah yeah you know what I mean you can't no you're so right and like that's how it was for

00:49:27.520 me too and then it was like this gateway of starting to like im and message and have an aim

00:49:33.000 and like have a connection with your friends that wasn't just on the phone but it kind of like things

00:49:38.940 took forever to load like it kind of stopped there and i try i have a five-year-old and i tried to

00:49:44.340 think about what it will be like for her at 13 or before with social media and it's very i mean now

00:49:51.720 i mean it's gonna change so much but like that's a whole other thing i know but like it's hard for

00:49:57.040 me to really take in what it was like for 13 year olds you know five years ago 10 years ago

00:50:04.160 like no you're you're so right 15 20 like where was the internet when you were in middle school

00:50:08.720 when i was in middle school it was um we were a little past dial-up i would say like not far

00:50:14.000 but a little bit no no it's okay but it was i'm just trying to remember i'm yeah yes i do i do

00:50:18.620 remember dial up um when i was younger but when i was in middle school it was like high speed right

00:50:23.160 yeah and you could be on the phone at the same time exactly so when i when i was in middle school

00:50:27.520 that was when it was still family computer right okay really okay my sister and i used to have

00:50:33.520 this like little timer that i think my mom still has that we would literally time it like each 0.92

00:50:37.900 other so she'd be like okay you have you have 60 seconds or whatever the fuck like you have 10 more 0.76

00:50:43.480 minutes like that's my turn yeah and be like the timer went off you made it go faster like we would 0.93

00:50:49.020 like argue oh my god and play computer games and stuff like um so like that's kind of what it was

00:50:54.060 when i was in middle school and i remember around like sixth to seventh grade that was around when

00:50:59.940 myspace came came out so myspace was like the new hot thing and my sister was like becoming an html

00:51:06.180 coder like she was like customizing yeah she was just customizing her page okay she was getting

00:51:11.260 okay she was getting real into like customizing the pages and stuff and so like that was like

00:51:17.860 all throughout middle school i think my freshman year of high school too was myspace was still a

00:51:23.120 thing but my freshman year of high school was when facebook became like pretty big okay that

00:51:26.860 was freshman year of college for me oh yeah so interesting there you go and that was like honestly

00:51:31.180 when we did facebook i remember i like begged my mom to like please let me get a facebook like all

00:51:37.620 of my friends are on Facebook because my mom was I mean honestly it worked out because my mom was

00:51:41.840 very strict about the internet like and and was making sure we knew like weirdos are afoot on the

00:51:46.980 internet like yeah my mom was my mom was like you can have it but I yeah she would say you can have

00:51:52.620 it but I need your like login info and I'm always gonna go look at it like she would just like put

00:51:57.520 fear right there even if she didn't check it that's early like right seems like early parental

00:52:02.320 control oh yeah in a way that's actually really smart yeah good job mom yeah and she was like

00:52:07.320 i'm gonna go in there and check and then if we did you no yeah and she would like honestly she

00:52:14.060 would um when we would get grounded or something or we weren't our privileges would be revoked yeah

00:52:19.120 she would change the password to like our accounts like she would change them so in case we went

00:52:23.800 somewhere else and we were trying to log in brilliant yeah she would change the password

00:52:26.620 which we never did because my sister and i were weirdly obedient children but like we were very

00:52:31.700 very good kids so we never did that but like i would say facebook's like that's when it started

00:52:36.840 taking off and then i remember twitter came out around that time too wow so it was like the

00:52:41.400 inception of a lot of like the bigger ones now what about instagram because i feel like that

00:52:46.320 i mean i know it's like not as cool anymore honestly now yeah i see they're about the same

00:52:52.360 but tiktok's like number one i think number one yeah yeah i know i knew that yeah yeah i was just

00:52:58.520 making sure you knew i'm up on it yeah just kidding instagram i got my my my instagram i got

00:53:07.260 i think when i was like a sophomore in high school like yeah around sophomore year of high school

00:53:11.820 was my first time getting it so i was like and that was when you know at that time that was like 0.99

00:53:16.620 when the internet was you would just post fucking anything right like any any every inane stupid 0.95

00:53:23.480 thought that i had when i was 14 like oh i the amount of like facebook statuses i have where 0.98

00:53:29.480 i'm just like diet coke or it's like ironic yeah it's like it's just a picture of flowers

00:53:36.640 and you're like diet coke yeah i'm like diet coke like there's no thought or anything i'm just

00:53:41.720 saying things it's almost like stream of consciousness just into the computer um were

00:53:45.820 there influencers happening yet where like it could be a brand or it could be a career i think

00:53:50.820 that started happening when i was like later in high school going into college that was when like

00:53:55.820 youtube became a thing so then youtube like youtube was already came out in like 2009 2008

00:54:00.620 and like i remember we used to watch that was when youtube was purely just like epic fails or like

00:54:07.040 or like skits like it was like people making sketches and stuff and like just to entertain

00:54:11.680 yep and i remember my sister and i thought youtube was like fascinating because we're like oh my god

00:54:16.600 you could just make stuff and put it on here like that was crazy to us so around that time i would

00:54:21.100 say like end of high school was when youtubers became a thing so like they were like the in my

00:54:26.120 head like the og influencers like tumblr i would say was one of them too but like youtube was when 0.97

00:54:32.080 they were like the girls were making money like they were getting paid to go places they were 1.00

00:54:35.440 like getting free things okay so that's when i think the like explosion of youtube happened when

00:54:40.060 i went into college like wow and everybody's a youtuber everybody's doing like 10 minute vlogs

00:54:45.440 doing like edits like that kind of thing wow so that was like i would say like the explosion of

00:54:51.720 what we know now right and then it kind of went to instagram yeah right yeah then i think instagram

00:54:56.940 exploded and then youtube was still like long form then it was like when youtubers started like

00:55:02.560 monetizing on multiple platforms so they started moving to instagram and then tiktok just came and

00:55:07.280 like completely shifted everything i think and snapchat yeah right yeah wasn't that a moment

00:55:12.680 i used that in college yeah and that was actually where i initially started posting

00:55:16.740 videos but they were just my friends because i was like private on everything okay but i would

00:55:20.980 like post rants like what i did eventually on tiktok like i would just post me complaining 0.84

00:55:26.000 about shit like you know when you're in your early 20s like you're like i'm hilarious and 0.85

00:55:29.840 everything's annoying so i'm just gonna like complain like that was like my thing i was like 0.99

00:55:33.980 i'm just gonna bitch about things that i think are annoying and like or things that i think are

00:55:37.780 funny and so like were you scared no because I was private so I was like because I always my mom 0.69

00:55:43.500 was always like imagine if a job like employer sees this so I was always keeping that like top

00:55:48.800 of mind like me having such a good mom yeah for real like honestly really setting the table for

00:55:55.300 me to start doing this now so it all worked out yeah but um yeah I was like that was around the

00:55:59.540 time like I was like getting more comfortable talking on camera and I think that was because I

00:56:03.480 um was doing journalism in college at the time so I that was my first time like recording myself

00:56:08.740 and seeing myself like and hearing my own voice I was I'm curious like when you first started

00:56:13.300 seeing yourself did you ever think like wow I sound weird yes yeah I couldn't stand the sound

00:56:18.120 of my voice or anything well and in college at first I went to school for singing and so

00:56:21.940 I like my voice teacher was having me record my voice and then listen back and critique it and I

00:56:27.820 yeah and she would always be like well you're hearing yourself through your bones

00:56:31.140 so you're more resonant through in when what you're hearing in your head than what we're

00:56:37.140 hearing and i was like oh wow i sound so annoying to everybody you know what i mean my bones are

00:56:41.720 telling me i'm i'm so annoying my bones are telling me i'm deeper and it's better out there

00:56:46.820 and my like it's not good but yeah and then and then um now i'm just thinking of bones i forget

00:56:53.360 what i was well i i also felt that way too when i like heard my voice on camera for the first time

00:56:59.740 I for real thought I was like I do not sound like that what did you did you think you sounded

00:57:05.360 what like how like I felt like my voice was about 20 octaves deeper than I assumed it was

00:57:11.680 which I do have a pretty low tone but like like a hearing it back it sounded deeper yeah hearing 0.94

00:57:16.680 it back I was like who the fuck is that like I would hear my own voice and I'm like oh my god 0.90

00:57:21.940 and I remember too I was when I was a journalism student in college I had this really really 1.00

00:57:26.740 terrible professor and she was a woman that's such a bummer but she she was like so misogynistic 0.99

00:57:31.280 there are a few of them yeah that's such a bummer but she i remember she one time like in a critique 0.97

00:57:37.040 of my video that i had like put like my package she was like giving me notes and um one of the

00:57:41.620 notes she gave me was that i should um intentionally raise the register of my voice when i talk on

00:57:48.480 camera because it would appear more feminine and therefore be better to listen to and i was like

00:57:54.220 now you make me want to talk in a deeper voice like i literally was like that's not 0.97

00:57:57.900 that's fucking dumb and i remember like she controlled the fate of my grade so i was like 0.94

00:58:02.460 okay so i i started talking in a higher register the reason why that haunts me to this day is 0.99

00:58:07.640 because when i started making tiktok videos for real like if i go if i for some reason see someone

00:58:12.640 comment on one that's really old like five five-ish years and i go back and i look i feel

00:58:17.680 like i sound like mickey mouse and that's because i'm like i'm raising the register of my authentic 0.92

00:58:22.860 because she fucking put that in your head yeah and i start like talking almost nasally which 0.94

00:58:27.660 humiliates me when i yeah yeah yeah that is not what i sound like i relate to that and in our 0.99

00:58:34.080 like the it was musical theater yeah there was a voice teacher and she just spoke up here

00:58:38.980 and she was trying to get everybody to speak like this and i was like i would rather die

00:58:44.380 like i would rather never book a job sorry but like yeah first of all is there any world where

00:58:50.860 I went in for an audition and was like Jordan I can't stand you like I'm never getting hired as

00:58:58.040 an actor first of all you know what I mean and then yeah I guess she sounded nice when she sang

00:59:03.460 but like most of us have to talk when we're not singing you know what I mean yeah she's trying to

00:59:08.300 get everyone to but like also we all were changing the where we were speaking yeah and there was yeah

00:59:15.200 there was just so much like insidious messaging always and that where it was like just because

00:59:21.180 I wasn't a dancer and a lot of the other kids there were like professional dancers and like

00:59:26.780 or professional singers or whatever so they were used to hearing all of the misogynistic things

00:59:32.440 that were just like kind of threaded into that industry yeah but for me I wasn't so it's like

00:59:38.460 well why why do we have like little things of like the heels have to be the tap shoes have to

00:59:44.780 be healed for us or you know all the insinuations of like you know you're looking at yourself

00:59:50.160 constantly in the mirror dancing like no one's thin enough everyone needs to get thinner everyone

00:59:54.440 needs to like it was sort of endless and um and subtle but that is like being on this earth a

01:00:02.360 little bit right as women especially but it's really exciting that that people are finally

01:00:07.060 in a public way right talking about it for real I grew up with my mom being and I'm curious like

01:00:13.660 how you learned it or if it was just innate for you but my mom was and she was an rn nurse but

01:00:20.700 she was also like an energy worker and did reiki and like oh therapeutic touch yeah and it really

01:00:26.000 embarrassed me as a kid like my friend would come over with a hurt ankle and she'd be like come here

01:00:30.720 i'll fix it she like wouldn't touch it and be like oh my god like your mom's a witch and i'd be like 0.83

01:00:37.260 i know i know i hate it yeah i know it's so embarrassing she's also a regular nurse but 0.80

01:00:43.060 she believes in real medicine too yeah not just so confusing for people um but she also like to

01:00:50.960 her credit she was just like went to the beat of her own drum and spoke about the things she wanted

01:00:56.480 to speak on and what she believed in and she was always you know had this sort of alt mentality at

01:01:02.920 the time in our you know irish catholic town that we had moved to was very vocal about like

01:01:08.820 women are magic like we have always been magic we like literally can create things from our body

01:01:16.640 out of nothing like is there any more wizard wizardry than that yeah and i'd be like oh but 0.99

01:01:23.760 in retrospect i'd be like yeah it's called like getting pregnant like you don't have a word for

01:01:30.260 it jesus yeah like it's not a big deal and in retrospect i'm like wow so iconic that she had

01:01:36.540 the wherewithal to speak to it like that and she had and now i feel like it's so in the zeitgeist

01:01:41.700 but she was like the patriarchy was created because they were threatened by our indescribable

01:01:49.140 magic amen yeah and very true and we became controlled and it is our destiny to you know

01:01:56.340 be free yeah essentially and to keep like going towards that light of being heard and being seen

01:02:02.420 and not being minimized and absolutely um your mom was ahead of her time she was yeah she was

01:02:08.340 yeah in a way that now you know it's slowly i tried not to let it in but it really it did like

01:02:13.800 it got into my brain and it is throughout pen 15 and these ways of going like yeah um oh periods

01:02:21.200 are gross like oh we're gonna show it right you know what i mean we're not we're not skipping

01:02:25.100 that part like we're gonna like all these little things that were meaningful right kind of try to

01:02:29.900 well that's and that's one of the beauties of that show honestly i think is is in its authenticity

01:02:34.840 but also and it's like it's not afraid to talk about things that are very real and relatable

01:02:41.320 but also like we've been conditioned to believe are like bad bad gross not good like whatever

01:02:49.000 the synonym you want to use like and they're almost always tied to women exactly yeah like

01:02:53.780 exclusive to women and women alone yeah what's gross about a dude no for real oh how much time

01:03:00.240 do you got i know well no in real life but like at 13 it's like especially well especially but i 0.96

01:03:05.760 feel like it was reserved for like guys could be talking about masturbating at the lunch table and 0.71

01:03:11.320 it'd be funny or it'd be whatever and be like jordan i don't know why i keep saying jordan

01:03:15.440 you know and if a girl was doing that at least when i was 13 i think it's probably the same 0.99

01:03:21.520 unfortunately that it was like okay it's your slut like you just would never ever ever make 0.87

01:03:27.500 a joke about that at least when i was no same likewise and it was just so crazy even for me 0.97

01:03:33.500 like i growing up i was a very tall child so like same oh really yeah i i have been a big big 0.52

01:03:41.740 fucking girl for a long time like when i was young when i was in middle school i was five four 0.69

01:03:47.140 um when i was 10 11 so like that was pretty pretty daunting height for that age how tall are you now 0.99

01:03:53.440 six feet okay yeah so i i was five four when i was in sixth grade my sister stopped growing at

01:03:58.580 that point and she's two years older than me so then i like grew past her and i remember from

01:04:03.200 seventh to eighth grade i grew four inches in one year so i went from five four to five eight so

01:04:08.340 when i was in eighth grade i was five eight wow and i remembered to like even like something like

01:04:14.720 that like I hated my height I hated being tall when I was a kid yeah I hated it and I felt so

01:04:20.380 like and it's also ingrained in me to hate it like it's ingrained in me to despise my body and like 0.57

01:04:25.220 everything about it and why it doesn't look like other girls bodies and like that was something I

01:04:29.760 think is like unfortunately a very common experience especially for women and at that age

01:04:35.880 like that very very young age impressionable age and I think the good thing is like I've talked a

01:04:40.480 lot about this too with like my parents my my my dad is a very large person which is why I am

01:04:46.120 as big as I am my mom is very small which is why my sister's built like her and I'm built like my

01:04:50.120 dad um but it's like my mom was very adamant about like how like our bodies are never gonna look 0.98

01:04:56.900 like specific other women because we are not the same race the same ethnicity and we also are just 0.96

01:05:03.040 different people like and and that doesn't make one better than the other my mom was like very 0.97

01:05:06.740 adamant about instilling that in me from a young age and you know like when like you said when 0.74

01:05:10.720 you're young you're like oh you don't fucking know yeah you don't know anything you're in 0.77

01:05:14.200 anything yeah but it's true like and like you said like i think i was um i was like you don't 0.94

01:05:19.560 know and then it just noodled its way in there thank god i try to remind myself that as a parent

01:05:24.540 now even where i'm like she has no idea what i'm talking about she thinks i'm an idiot and that's 0.79

01:05:28.840 just gonna get way more extreme like your vibe intense you know like you're just but i'm just 0.86

01:05:34.760 gonna keep saying it and that's enough because i can drive myself crazy of being like am i being

01:05:39.580 good enough parent am i thinking like oh my gosh saying all the things i need to say and like yeah

01:05:44.280 life is so complex and being a human is so complex and am i giving her enough and i just tell myself 0.98

01:05:51.060 okay my mom said the craziest shit and she oh that's all she needed to do yeah to say it and 0.98

01:05:57.260 say it and say it and say it and say it and it's so even when i didn't want it to noodle in it 0.99

01:06:00.460 middle right exactly god it did no i i feel the exact same way and i feel like it was like

01:06:04.920 it was pivotal for me even when i was in like the throes of my like uh pick me phase like my

01:06:10.880 internalized misogyny phase through high school like it would still come up like even then and

01:06:16.380 sometimes i joke because like a lot of times i get asked like if i was always this way like so

01:06:20.280 adamant about like independence confidence and like being mean to men who are awful like have

01:06:25.080 i always been that way or did something happen and i was like generally speaking yes i've always

01:06:29.180 been a very hard-headed child so I always felt like I knew everything even though I didn't

01:06:32.900 but also I felt like it was a combination it was like a perfect storm of like how my parents

01:06:37.560 raised us and then my just unbelievable confidence and like borderline delusional confidence like I

01:06:44.260 was always so sure of myself even if I wasn't like I felt like even in moments of like somewhat doubt

01:06:51.080 I felt like oh I know like I would like really I felt like amazing yeah and I think that was like

01:06:56.800 rare for me it's rare for women in general but especially teenage girls like it's extremely rare

01:07:01.940 and so i think like i would tell i told my mom like if i'm being honest i really do think my like

01:07:07.320 disdain for how men felt just inherently better than women i i used to hate that like i recognize

01:07:13.860 could you see it and recognize it early on yeah from a very young age fascinating that's fascinating

01:07:18.800 yeah but you were like saw it's interesting what different humans like focus in on and can see in

01:07:25.260 a way that other i agree you know i think part of that might have been a superpower yeah i think

01:07:30.120 part of that honestly might have been attributed to because i was so big like physically bigger

01:07:34.420 than most of the boys at my age or older than me i think that othered me in a way that i could like

01:07:40.420 remove myself a little bit and be like well of course you're not fucking with me i'm taller than 0.79

01:07:43.540 you why would you like i would like think that all the time i would be like well of course not 0.98

01:07:47.240 because you wish you were my height and i wish i was your height so now what like that's like

01:07:50.080 that's just one of those things i guess we have to deal with still that's pretty profound to be

01:07:53.940 able to think that way i think i yeah no you're i've heard that from other people they've been

01:07:58.600 like that's rare like to have that because i really do think i've had body neutrality for a

01:08:02.260 very long time which is rare like my i've always been you know body positivity i think is cool but

01:08:08.200 i think it has been warped and twisted into something i don't love like really um so i

01:08:13.220 strive more for body neutrality which is like i don't want to feel anything towards my body other

01:08:17.340 than grateful i want to feel grateful it moves it keeps me alive it breathes it laughs it smiles

01:08:22.000 like that's what I want to be grateful for that's how I want to perceive my body and I think that's

01:08:26.060 a great way of looking at it because it good or bad it's it's it's keeping me alive and that's

01:08:31.260 what I feel grateful for I just want to feel grateful that's all I want to feel so that's

01:08:34.840 what I've been working towards for a long time but I think I had that inherently until I started

01:08:40.400 doing this honestly oh I just appreciate your candidness I think it's important too I got my

01:08:46.220 period in seventh grade when i was 12 like about to be well i turned 13 um and on my birthday and

01:08:53.680 on seventh really yeah on my birthday in seventh grade yeah did you tell your mom yeah i did

01:08:59.780 immediately but i i like was so glad that it had first of all i was like oh my god when i pulled

01:09:06.260 down my pants because it was the red wedding down there were you waiting for it no i was waiting

01:09:11.160 i was like still not here because my friends were getting it and i got it when i was in eighth grade

01:09:17.920 no my mom my mom had told us about it like um i think around like fifth grade like when we were

01:09:23.080 going into school so i like knew of it but i was like it'll see me when it sees me well also this

01:09:29.140 is different but kissing yeah was to me was like saved by the bell did you watch save by the bell

01:09:34.020 probably two like no i'm very familiar with screech and slater in the gang okay well kelly

01:09:39.940 and Zach's kissing was like I was like perfect can't wait you know what I mean I'm with you on 0.97

01:09:45.640 that closed mouth moving the head really long time yeah just a lot of neck work probably like sex 0.99

01:09:53.600 like fake sex right like hugging yeah exactly you're like they're having sex on tv yeah yeah 0.98

01:09:59.460 literally and I was I felt like you too about kissing I was like but even then I would like 0.70

01:10:03.980 tell my mom I was like well what if I don't want to kiss and my mom was like then you don't wow

01:10:08.640 like i was so averse empowered like immediately i was so like how can i do this alone like

01:10:14.660 what if i want to be alone when i do it then what like i was so like contingency plan like i was so

01:10:22.180 like wow because i was just so yeah you're like very aware of boundaries i didn't know boundaries

01:10:27.520 were a thing till my 20s i was like oh i'm allowed to have my own sense of self i'm allowed to be

01:10:32.940 like yeah sadly i i really wasn't aware of it my first kiss with my boyfriend i was in eighth grade

01:10:40.740 like devastated me because it was not zach and kelly yeah it was like i feel that a tongue to

01:10:49.360 the back of the throat for a minute or two you're just being attacked yeah yeah and then having to

01:10:53.560 be like you know bye see you tomorrow i loved it and then i cried a lot after because i was like

01:11:01.380 and that was a feeling of like nobody told me yeah that's what kissing is i will never do it

01:11:08.020 again no i was like i'm never doing that again had i had the information going in that wouldn't

01:11:14.620 have that wouldn't have happened no that would have transpired differently and i could not believe 0.75

01:11:19.420 that people wanted to do that after that i was like that's disgusting yeah and you guys are 0.91

01:11:26.800 perverts how's that yeah and you're all it did sort of you're right it did kind of change my 0.98

01:11:31.840 idea and probably the you're the you learning about what sex was right it's like a bunch of 0.96

01:11:37.120 perverts yeah yeah i literally was horrified like i was like crazy to really think about it yeah and

01:11:42.920 i think it was around that time too um like what are we doing yeah my mom my mom and dad had been

01:11:48.540 trying for my brother okay so i think that was also like it just lined up perfectly not the

01:11:53.940 details no no no that they were trying to have another baby no we didn't know until after yeah

01:11:57.840 until like after my mom explained the talk to us then we knew okay at that point because at that

01:12:03.220 point i i think it just lined up perfectly for us going into middle school like yeah at an age

01:12:09.140 where we're probably gonna hit puberty and then also my brother is gonna get my mom's gonna get

01:12:12.820 pregnant so it was like a win a win-win yeah to have that talk at that time wow um yeah it was

01:12:18.160 like i think it just lined up perfectly honestly the timing of everything but i was like like you

01:12:23.800 without the boots on the ground experience i was horrified i was like no way that's what you guys

01:12:30.380 are doing what i know and i was i remember being horrified and that's why i asked my contingency

01:12:35.440 plan question and i said okay cool once you answered that i'm good i don't need to i don't

01:12:38.440 need to be scared because it's still crazy to think about it like obviously but i've dabbled

01:12:44.480 but it's still somehow isn't it weird it is weird like why are we here yeah when you really think

01:12:50.760 about it it's a little too much it's a little it's spooky it gets spooky real quick very yeah

01:12:57.080 it's very strange yeah I was and that was like my general understanding of it until obviously I went

01:13:02.020 to high school and then I like learned a little bit more about it just through friends and like

01:13:06.340 people talking experience that kind of thing yeah then I learned more at that point but like

01:13:11.140 at the time I was like if I don't want to do it I'm not going to that's what I like but always

01:13:16.660 tell myself i was like yeah no way jose yeah that's great i was real north korea you know

01:13:23.380 what i mean yeah i didn't lose my virginity till college yes i mean same yeah yeah so like

01:13:29.420 that's fine but most of my friends had earlier so no same yeah but i was like i again i was north

01:13:35.080 korea so that's why i was like yeah no way yeah and every dipshit kid in my school i was like yeah 0.99

01:13:40.580 you're nuts like you're you're fucking crazy in fact and which is ironic because the the man i'm 0.99

01:13:45.980 gonna marry is he went to high school with me no yeah he did um did you know him in high school 1.00

01:13:52.080 yeah we were friends in high school we are not high school sweethearts though wow we had more

01:13:56.160 dating no flirting no he would yeah there was flirting in the sense that like banter i guess

01:14:02.480 but like no like you're stealing his hat and wearing it or like what no more like he would

01:14:07.560 steal my hat and wear it like he would like he would annoy me and i'd be like he's annoying 0.61

01:14:11.140 and that was another reason my sister said she should have known that she was gay in high school 0.93

01:14:15.280 because we all went to high school together yeah and she was like my sister as gay as she is always 0.97

01:14:21.260 had boys as crushes like throughout all of high school she would have two or three a year she'd 0.69

01:14:26.000 be like yeah i'm rocking with him i'd be like he's ugly what is your problem like what what

01:14:29.460 is the matter with you and i now i know she was just looking for something okay that one doesn't

01:14:33.700 work okay okay and um i think like my sister jokes that like that's how she should have known she was

01:14:39.620 gay because my man was the only man and arguably the most handsome guy in our school at the time

01:14:45.100 especially like she was like i he was the only one i was like yuck and she was like and i think 1.00

01:14:51.660 that's how i knew i should have known like even then like i liked every ugly bitch that went to 1.00

01:14:55.240 our school but for some reason him i was like yuck now we know why if anything that was the 1.00

01:15:00.000 most clear indicator wow so all roads lead to the same lesbian but weird transition from lesbian but

01:15:08.680 i do have some fun facts about you okay and you can tell me if they're fun or not okay well this

01:15:15.300 one we actually talked about which is before pen 15 anna and maya funded a web series together

01:15:19.600 called mana mana mana mana yeah and what was the prep was this the one you were already telling me

01:15:25.620 about yeah weird because i haven't been asked about that in so long yeah it's so funny yeah

01:15:29.900 we have our own in-house nardwar like okay she does a lot of research got it yeah um yeah it

01:15:35.380 was the one that i said before about um every episode was a different reject reality show

01:15:39.900 pilot yeah and everyone was like no thank you anything else yeah basically okay this one says

01:15:46.340 in 2013 your mom once sent you a care package containing a wind chime one fourth of a yankee

01:15:53.720 candle a tea steeper hair ties and a floss sample to camp i i doesn't say where amanda was that to

01:16:02.260 instagram post you would oh oh oh oh yeah i mean that sounds about right i remember

01:16:07.460 i remember um quite the haul i remember a christmas she was really into re-gifting

01:16:13.740 and that could be something already in your house like true like i there was a stocking

01:16:20.520 stuffer one year and they were it was pantyhose that has like not been opened for like a dollar

01:16:27.160 from cvs and i was like this was in my drawer she's like well you don't wear it you forgot

01:16:34.280 about it and maybe now you'll wear it now that you remember you have it right no 100 yeah she's

01:16:40.380 like i bought it for you at some point and now it's rewrapped and what okay you want a gift or

01:16:44.980 not very her yeah that's a wind chime based off what you've told me about your mom makes sense

01:16:52.260 yeah she loves chimes and like a tea steeper wow was that i'm trying to think of that post

01:16:59.520 that was an old one right it was like from in the mail it like came in the mail yeah yeah oh by

01:17:04.980 mistake she accidentally she sent me a care package that's right and she accidentally included

01:17:13.860 like a piece of used floss that's right she's like well i was multitasking what do you want

01:17:20.740 yeah and she's right and she's always clearing out her house and sending me whatever she's

01:17:24.700 clearing out hence the like half an inky candle and stuff like that just whenever just no she's

01:17:30.520 still doing it to this day she's like well i had to clear out the pantry yeah you want it or not

01:17:35.660 basically basically reduce recycle yeah that's the good part oh one time i got a care package

01:17:42.480 for my mom because i like my mom would send awesome care packages when i was in college but

01:17:45.840 one time i called her because remember when you were under 21 your your license is like vertical

01:17:51.920 and then when you are over 21 they made it horizontal when i was in college so like and

01:17:56.340 that was an easier way of determining obviously who's underage that's a california thing i think

01:18:00.460 so yeah so like our my sister had already turned 21 and i was 19 i think and so like i asked i

01:18:09.080 called my mom and i like gave her a pitch to like send me my sister's old id which was the vertical

01:18:14.640 one uh i was like so i could drink and i was like all my friends are 21 and like well with the

01:18:20.160 exception of like my one girlfriend at the time because she was younger than me and i was like

01:18:23.240 but i'm gonna be really responsible i swear to god like i was like can you please send it to me

01:18:27.500 like i'm missing out on so many things can you please send it to me and then my mom was like

01:18:31.260 okay yeah i'll send it to you but if you get arrested don't call me i was like okay you know

01:18:36.040 what deal oh god i'll hey you know what i was like you got yourself a deal brother and she

01:18:42.320 sent it to me and i used the hell out of that thing that's great i used the brakes off that

01:18:47.500 thing i made a mistake when i was 18 and dated still a virgin a 38 year old restaurant owner

01:18:56.380 whoa yeah but the benefit was that i got an id oh that was your win yeah he gave me an id

01:19:04.400 which sounds really shady now probably because when that was left yeah it was yeah

01:19:08.900 i remember i lost the id because i went to a concert that was 18 and over but and i was 20

01:19:16.820 at the time but i gave him the wrong one on accident i put them right next to each other

01:19:20.980 and i was already kind of drunk when i got there so i accidentally gave him that one and i

01:19:24.120 obviously can't be like oh sorry i gave you the wrong one he you give it mind you like that that

01:19:28.300 one said i was 5'3 and like 120 pounds i was like that that's i am not that at all like i had a

01:19:34.480 whole backstory of like oh i was like when i got it i was 15 and like you know like obviously now 0.51

01:19:40.340 i'm bigger and i'm older like that was yeah that was like me making up bullshit and the guy kept

01:19:45.660 he was like um yeah you can go in and then i was like oh i need my id back he's like no i'm gonna 0.75

01:19:51.700 hold this and then the person who it belongs to can come get it from me and i said no worries

01:19:55.400 then i just walked inside like i gave up i said good call no worries hey that was a test and you

01:20:00.480 pass i'm an undercover cop okay another fun fact you once did the foot treatment where you put your

01:20:08.320 feet in a water tank and tiny fish nibble on your skin yes in thailand with two of my best friends

01:20:14.720 and my partner and how was that not good i don't like it no they they were like great our feet are

01:20:21.480 so smooth no don't like it why it's just over stimulating the feeling yeah it's very i mean

01:20:28.620 it just feels like little fish are eating little parts of you like i'm not into it you know turns

01:20:33.300 out i hate that very literal what's happening but that it doesn't it's not i'm not into it yeah

01:20:38.220 did you laugh a lot of people no you said oh never no no no a lot of people enjoy it though

01:20:45.020 yeah have you ever dabbled i've never done that honestly probably not but that's just because

01:20:50.940 sea creatures freak me out oh i am very afraid of a lot of animals but like stop yeah and it's

01:20:57.500 More so just fear in terms of, like, I respect them and their space.

01:21:02.000 And the entirety of the earth, I'm, like, a guest in their house is how I feel.

01:21:06.080 So, like, they just, like, scare me because they're a very real threat in a lot of ways.

01:21:10.420 And I don't want any problems.

01:21:12.040 What about, like, a little fish that was just going to, like, eat the dry skin off your feet?

01:21:16.880 I'd be like, no, thank you.

01:21:18.200 Okay.

01:21:18.640 Yeah.

01:21:19.120 And also, like, looking at them would freak me out.

01:21:22.120 Yeah.

01:21:22.300 Like, seeing them do it.

01:21:24.040 There are hundreds of them.

01:21:25.600 and they be they become a part like they're just like they're all attached to your feet

01:21:32.220 it's really disgusting and unpleasant it feels crazy yeah i i would probably not at all like

01:21:40.920 there are certain things in this life that when i see people doing them i'm like i could go my

01:21:45.760 whole life and never do that and i know skydiving same bungee jumping of any kind cave diving i

01:21:52.900 don't even like a high um diving board yeah yeah same yeah like hot air balloons like nope i could

01:21:59.620 never go on one and i'm sure i wouldn't be missing out what about roller coasters how do you feel

01:22:03.740 i like roller coasters depending like if they're i really like roller coasters but the ones that

01:22:08.480 go straight up and down i i'm not a fan of would you say you have a fear of heights i do yeah so

01:22:13.840 like it's when i'm suspended that and i can see it for too long that i'm not a fan of when it's

01:22:19.240 going so fast i can't i can't even register surroundings you don't even know where how high

01:22:23.380 up you are i'm cool with that so it's fine yeah like it's just like it's spinning me around like

01:22:26.980 before i hit a pinata that's how i feel so it's like so when that with that i'm like yeah sure

01:22:32.400 why not yeah but if it's like a extended period of time yeah no i'm good there are so many even

01:22:39.780 a cruise like i don't i don't ever want to go on a cruise well there's so many scary netflix

01:22:43.860 documentaries now about about women going missing on cruises or pooping on the cruise have you seen

01:22:48.420 that one no there's one called poop cruise i saw the title i was kind of like i can't i can't yeah

01:22:53.860 yeah i honestly don't know i didn't watch it either for the same reason you didn't it's too

01:22:58.700 literal like just keep it a little more abstract i've seen it all i would have turned to yeah once

01:23:03.800 i watched the little preview i said i'm good don't need to find anymore everything overflowed

01:23:09.100 is that the idea i think so right like it's like they would lose power and pumping so they could 0.94

01:23:13.900 flushed the toilets and they were stuck at sea for a few days just shitting on like 0.89

01:23:18.120 over and over 0.97

01:23:19.580 oh wow oh that makes me want to tune in i'm not even kidding something about the lasagna imagery

01:23:32.540 the poop lasagna if you will didn't expect it yeah i feel the same way about about cruises

01:23:38.160 where i'm like i also had a very weird hyper fixation with the titanic when i was young 0.95

01:23:42.440 so i did a lot of research on the titanic and i was like yeah fuck a cruise like i from a very

01:23:47.360 young age i was like i don't need to be on a big boat no thank you we didn't really go on vacations 0.79

01:23:52.520 until my parents divorced and then my dad started taking me on cruises that's a real dad thing to do

01:23:57.980 yeah there was a casino oh nice you know what i mean and then i'd go to the teen club i'd get crazy

01:24:04.260 and yeah i loved it but i didn't think about the titanic being a thing

01:24:10.380 most children don't or for some reason i i was very concerned but like so you were like we're

01:24:18.700 gonna hit an iceberg yeah it was more yeah it was more so the logistics of the titanic that i was

01:24:23.680 like genuinely concerned about like i don't know what put me i think i i like kind of learned about

01:24:29.020 it a little bit in in school which it piqued my interest so then i like went deep really was like

01:24:35.420 i need to learn intended yeah exactly i need to learn everything there is to know about this and

01:24:39.620 so like my mom would buy me like children friendly books on like the titanic but then i was like

01:24:45.300 going through them so fast that my mom started getting me like adult books on the titanic so i

01:24:49.340 was reading all of them and i was like studying up and then when titanic the movie came out

01:24:54.320 i was like you know wow like oh my god i need to watch it so then like my mom showed me the movie

01:25:01.480 titanic and then i remember when i watched it at the very end i was like are those people real 0.98

01:25:06.160 like was that story real like jack and rose and my mom goes no and then i go stupid ass movie like 0.95

01:25:13.520 i watched it i was like they didn't talk about the ship they didn't talk about the captain they 0.96

01:25:17.400 didn't talk about the lack of preparation they didn't talk about this was the first ship ever

01:25:20.820 to set sail at ship expert yeah i really was like well you missed all the good parts of the 0.87

01:25:25.800 Titanic like i was so like this useless ass movie that's what i thought about the Titanic when i was

01:25:32.480 a child uh because i was like well here i am looking for the info and you guys are making 0.94

01:25:36.440 up a story about two lovers the hell you're talking what you're talking about putting the

01:25:40.640 poor Irish people down below deck why don't you talk about that about that once you talk about

01:25:44.480 that let's get into that you've always been like aware of injustices yeah and like or the thing

01:25:50.300 that should be central being marginalized yeah I've been a very I've had a very curious perspective

01:25:58.180 as a child amazing yeah and I and my mom like we joke about it too like because I was and this is

01:26:05.520 not me gassing myself this is a true fact I was a very smart child like I started reading I started

01:26:11.700 reading very young and like I was supposed to skip a grade like which technically speaking I

01:26:17.940 started school early so that that would be two grades ahead of what like so they suggested I

01:26:22.480 skip a grade to my mom a couple times because they were like I think this is too easy for her

01:26:26.340 um but I wasn't a bad child so I would never like I'm getting such a fuller snapshot of you

01:26:32.240 like truly I just feel like I saw you at like and you're brilliant yeah that's not an easy

01:26:39.660 no yeah like well even like my mom it's funny because they told my mom multiple times like

01:26:44.600 you should move her up probably like it might be better for her my mom literally was like no

01:26:48.880 and she was like i first of all how'd she know i i think she well first of all she was like i 0.98

01:26:54.480 that's like too much pressure to put on my child like first of all like putting her because then

01:26:58.560 i would be with people who were like two or three years older than me which is like a whole nother

01:27:01.740 thing um that would put me in the same grade as my sister which my sister was also brilliant but

01:27:07.180 so painfully shy when we were kids um so my mom was trying to create autonomy between us

01:27:12.680 and then the last one which is the realest one and the funniest one my mom was like she's already 0.98

01:27:16.840 too big for her britches like you keep her where she needs to be okay like we don't want to gas

01:27:22.280 her too much like that's a super villain waiting to happen which i think is a fair assessment like

01:27:27.080 and i even said recently to one of my friends i was telling them like in fifth grade i we had to

01:27:31.400 pick a a disease to do a research report on okay and i picked lupus because my friend's mom had

01:27:37.340 lupus and so this was very long report that i did my teacher literally had a meeting with my mom

01:27:42.520 because she was convinced i plagiarized it because of how it was written which i was like how could

01:27:47.820 i have done that the computer is barely anything how what grade was that fifth grade so i was in

01:27:52.440 i was 10 yeah nine or 10. yeah i think i just like yeah i've been a know-it-all for a very

01:27:58.180 long time too so thankfully i turned out smart otherwise that would suck otherwise to be like

01:28:01.920 every other man you know what i mean like just so confident no nothing to back it up did you raise

01:28:05.880 your hand a lot like were you yeah all the time yeah all the time you ever do it start to do it

01:28:11.140 less when you realize that it wasn't because for me for example yeah that is not as courageous

01:28:15.840 I once I realized that I was uh you know othering myself in a certain way by raising my hand a lot

01:28:25.120 as a girl yeah yeah which is devastating to say yeah it's true but I stopped for a long I stopped

01:28:31.220 for a long time yeah I didn't stop I guess but I didn't do it as much yeah I wanted I mean that

01:28:35.480 makes sense that's very common yeah like for especially for women yeah no definitely unfortunately

01:28:40.200 for me my hubris was just was just out of control I I perception or not like I just loved knowing

01:28:48.360 things I was like I loved knowing a lot of things I loved knowing the most things like I looked at

01:28:53.540 it almost like a competition between no one but me and myself but like I was very like I loved

01:29:00.080 being smart and I loved knowing things and like that was just my thing so I was just I was very

01:29:05.120 confident about it and I honestly I think me being humongous maybe helped like people not want to

01:29:10.580 believe me that much because I was enormous I was an enormous child and I was smart too so like

01:29:15.600 you know deadly combo when you're in grade school but yeah I think like me just being so like my

01:29:23.640 intellect was something I drew the most confidence from and I think I still do now even now like uh

01:29:29.300 my confidence comes from everything you cannot see and so my intellect was one of them and so

01:29:33.540 when i was a kid like i always joke that like i think me feeling so unbearably smart to people

01:29:40.640 like like me being perceived that way outpaced my need to like be liked by men like it was like i 0.87

01:29:47.920 was such a know-it-all that it was like i don't give a fuck if you think i'm attractive as long

01:29:52.260 as you know i'm smarter than you like that's what i used to like that was like my like intensity and 0.97

01:29:57.300 so i had a lot of anger too when i was in high school towards men like i had a lot of like

01:30:02.580 animosity towards them because I felt like they were just awful which especially in high school

01:30:07.520 they can be and so it was like I think just a perfect cocktail of like my upbringing just

01:30:13.980 generally speaking who I am and then also me getting smart at a young age is probably

01:30:19.040 for the best that my mom kept me tempered you know what I mean like and even like when I did

01:30:24.820 I joked about this on the show many times but like in in fifth grade we had to do this like

01:30:28.100 wax figure presentation where we had to pick someone we admire throughout history and then

01:30:32.920 do a whole report on them and then dress up as them on like back to school night and then do

01:30:36.340 like a whole monologue and so I picked King George III I did not admire him at all he's one of the

01:30:42.560 worst English monarchs in history I just thought I found him fascinating he's he's responsible for

01:30:46.880 a lot of the things that are still in play today in the UK so I literally was like this is

01:30:50.960 fascinating I'm gonna write about him and even my teacher called my mom and was like I feel like

01:30:54.800 maybe she should pick someone else like is there maybe someone that she likes that maybe and my

01:31:00.740 mom was like is it against the rules and then she was like no and she's like well then just let her

01:31:05.240 do it like who cares and I just found him fascinating he was a terrible monarch and I

01:31:08.800 really wanted to research it and I was the only one who cross-dressed so there's that too

01:31:12.880 so I was like yeah was I concerned about men or boys at the time no because I was dressing like

01:31:19.500 a boy and i was faking a british accent all day and maybe honestly that's part of my performance

01:31:25.200 i was just like this is gonna get me so much attention if i do this

01:31:28.940 whether it's good or bad not concerned just need them to look at me i just need a minute of your

01:31:34.600 time that's all it takes yeah yeah it'll feed me and keep me alive for the next year so i appreciate

01:31:41.840 y'all okay i have another last fun fact okay uh do you remember the context of this childhood

01:31:48.820 photo where you are in i think it says cat face paint i actually uh i don't really remember i

01:31:57.900 asked my mom too i was like what the hell is that cat face paint you look like cat in the hat like

01:32:04.240 like mike myers version right that embroidered pillow i vaguely remember i look like you look

01:32:12.080 real serious like you were there for business that was definitely a part of there there's that

01:32:17.420 in me always that's like what's happening next you know ready to perform yeah at a moment I'm

01:32:25.500 turning 40 soon like I was always kind of just like a little bit 40 you know I love that about

01:32:32.180 you me too yeah I love an old soul yeah hell yeah yeah it's yeah I don't I mean maybe I'll

01:32:37.860 feel differently when the time actually comes for that birthday but right now I'm like yeah

01:32:43.080 i'm reaching the age that i've always been finally yeah you know thank god yeah that's how i felt

01:32:48.780 when i turned 30 because i was like i hated 29 only because i just hate the number it felt like

01:32:54.100 i was holding on to my 20s i know what you mean yeah i felt like i was like i'm 29 you don't want

01:32:58.600 to be the cliche of being like almost i feel like i mean maybe i'm wrong but i feel like whatever

01:33:05.200 everybody else is doing or feeling there's sometimes for me a vibe of being like let me

01:33:11.840 do the thing next to it i don't want to feel like every i heard a an interior designer said

01:33:16.580 recently something about like i i don't look next i i hate looking next to me for inspiration i only

01:33:22.780 look um in front of myself or behind yeah i felt seen by that yeah that's so true and i i did feel

01:33:30.520 like that too in my 20s i felt like very because i now that i'm in my 30s and i i think about how

01:33:37.280 when i was working at the nfl i like had this conversation with this woman i worked with and

01:33:41.240 she had just turned 40 and i remember we were talking and i was like telling her you know i

01:33:46.160 just feel like i'm behind i feel like i barely got here and then she was like how old are you

01:33:50.340 and i was like at the time i was 23 so i was like i'm 23 she was like oh my god you have so much

01:33:54.760 time you are so young and i was like really you think so and she's like yeah like i just turned

01:34:00.060 40 and she was like and if i could pick a decade of my life to go back to i would pick my 30s

01:34:06.340 really and i was very like really like at the time and she was like yeah because in your 30s

01:34:10.980 like your 20s are meant for stumbling and resetting your table and figuring out who you are and like

01:34:17.800 what you want and like purpose and all of that it's like it's like the most tumultuous awful

01:34:22.260 time but also the best time and she's like in your 30s you like level like in some regard you

01:34:28.280 like know who you are you know what you want typically at that point you're surrounded by

01:34:32.300 friends that you like love for real you're not going through phases and cycles of friends

01:34:36.480 and it's like that's where you really start to live life like she was like my 30s was my

01:34:40.960 favorite time of my life and I remember holding on to that I felt like it was so profound especially

01:34:45.760 hearing it from other women because it's like they've ingrained in us to like be so afraid of

01:34:50.960 aging and getting older which I'm not anymore thank god that's the thing though is like I really

01:34:56.580 want to feel like that about every decade yeah that's true like it's behind you yeah that's so

01:35:03.540 we have a lot of hopefully if we're lucky so many decades ahead of us yeah absolutely how do you

01:35:09.620 make like you know 70 to 80 like wild or whatever it is that makes it special or totally you know

01:35:18.760 something else that you need my my mom has always been um and i this is all in a book at this point

01:35:26.460 so i don't feel so bad saying it out loud but she's always been very um insatiable in her life

01:35:33.000 in a way that was and back to the theme of not appreciating her in the moment of like in a way

01:35:40.360 that was frustrating for me of going like can't can't you just like stay with that fiance do you

01:35:45.600 have to like keep looking for like right the thing but it's something that I've really come to admire

01:35:50.540 about her she's just she just turned 80 and she's like yesterday was a little boring like you know

01:35:56.980 what I mean she's just like living you know yeah actually something about finding a balance I think

01:36:02.360 of like being comfortable being bored or comfortable with life being like content content

01:36:09.340 but also still hungry to like imbibe it or something yeah you know yeah like for that

01:36:15.960 speaking of that like because you've been a creative your whole life what would you say

01:36:20.640 you do when you like want to re-inspire creativity like if you feel like especially working on pen

01:36:25.340 for so long and it doing so well and you're putting so much into it like how do you how

01:36:29.860 did you or how do you refill your cup after it's always really challenging i think and especially

01:36:36.500 and i'm thinking of you here like tv writing and going into that and even though you've done a lot

01:36:41.460 of professional writing but like going into that next step there's such a now i appreciate being

01:36:47.880 on the other side of it such a special moment of like being quote unquote green in it where it's

01:36:53.880 like there's a reverence in the business side of things for newness yeah once you're like in it

01:37:02.820 even even with me coming in in a way that's like experimental yeah which my vibe is like well I did

01:37:09.140 something experimental that kind of like hit in a certain way certainly you'll believe that I can

01:37:13.060 do that again right and yet there's this feeling of like no no you're in the traditional cog now

01:37:18.380 of business like the like tv shows are made this way they look this way this is the act structure

01:37:23.380 whatever I love something singular I love something experimental I love doing something that

01:37:29.120 feels fucked up if I have the strength or you know uh vision to like allow myself to do that again

01:37:38.700 is the question because you have to be I have to find something within me that is comfortable 0.97

01:37:45.680 looking at all of those faces again that are going like and just going like yeah it is gonna

01:37:53.100 work and that's the pitch yeah but something that helps is like one little mantra that that i went

01:38:00.080 back to a lot with pen 15 was no pressure just purpose yeah that's that was something that

01:38:05.740 helped and then also art being subjective yeah and why can't i make something bad yeah why can't

01:38:12.380 i get paid to make something bad for real um and yeah those are sort of the little my little like

01:38:20.120 mind places that i go sometimes to like help me what do you do i mean i'm i feel like i'm new

01:38:26.660 i'm so new to that world like that's why i was asking selfishly again because i feel i mean

01:38:31.900 you're you've like in this world you've like really charted your own path oh you know what

01:38:36.180 i mean yeah thank you i feel like in this specific world i feel like it's a very like 0.98

01:38:41.480 i think as as like ironic or like corny as it sounds like i really need to get off my fucking 0.67

01:38:47.940 phone like that that's what re-inspires me even when i talked to alana glazer once off of it yeah 0.91

01:38:53.080 getting off of it for real and not looking at it and like going and doing real life things like

01:38:57.660 alana glazer when she was on my on this show she told me like i realized that i have to like go

01:39:03.180 live life like in order to to continue to be a creative i have to go live life and like she went

01:39:07.480 had a baby and then came back right and so she was like i realized if you continue to be an artist

01:39:13.140 throughout your life like you have to go live life in order to like write again in order to

01:39:17.580 create something new like it's something that you have to prioritize as a creative like is to

01:39:24.560 continue to live my life in real life in real time and have experiences so I can draw from something

01:39:31.160 otherwise you have nothing to pull from and she's like or you just keep revisiting the same wells

01:39:34.880 like and then it creates burnout because you're like I don't have anything else I don't have

01:39:38.400 anything else to give and it was the same thing i i'm sure like uh with her like with broad city

01:39:43.340 as it was for pen which is like i gave this my everything like all i wanted was for this to do

01:39:48.340 well and it did and then now it's like well now what like now and she was telling me after broad

01:39:52.580 city i was like well like i i already wrote all my shit like this was my real life yeah like this

01:39:56.780 was my real life yeah i put it all in there so like what am i supposed to do and she was like 0.92

01:40:00.040 then i realized i have to go live life like i have to like go i love that and continue to do so and

01:40:03.760 that's where I do want to say too before we wrap I want to say like I think you are incredible you

01:40:08.980 and Maya together especially but like you really did do something completely different and new

01:40:14.540 and fun and amazing and so deep it had so many layers but that's where I will say you are braver

01:40:20.140 than me in that regard because that's that's where I'm feeling inspired by you to be courageous

01:40:24.340 because it it really does when you're in this now and the way I came up through the internet

01:40:29.040 it's like I have to do something that works like I have to do something that hits like that's how

01:40:33.080 i feel about the writing process like i have to create something that they're gonna buy i have to

01:40:36.700 create something that people are gonna love immediately like people online are gonna love

01:40:40.100 immediately and it uh gives me paralysis like a little bit because i don't want to i don't want 0.94

01:40:45.840 to obviously i think flopping is just part of it like when you when you make bad shit like you said 0.51

01:40:49.820 like which bad art is just as important but i think the way that you were describing looking

01:40:55.540 at it where it's like i i'm gonna make something that i love and art is subjective and like the

01:41:01.060 people who get it will get it and if not at least I fucking did it and I did it the way I wanted

01:41:05.680 yes right and so I think that's you are way braver than me in that and I'm gonna pull from 0.67

01:41:10.460 you're doing it as I continue to write yeah yeah yeah and I and many of my friends who do have done

01:41:15.420 what you've done too so successfully as well have told me like sometimes you got to write your own 0.96

01:41:19.360 shit like auditioning is great and getting cast is awesome but sometimes you got to do yourself 0.87

01:41:24.600 and I really do think I'm gonna have to do that but I'm happy about it and I feel very inspired 0.96

01:41:29.260 by you in this conversation oh thank you same and i can only hope to emulate even an ounce of the

01:41:35.060 genius that is pen 15 i think you are so amazing and i think maya is as well but i love your show

01:41:40.680 and i think you're incredible thank you so thank you for coming on the show much for having me

01:41:43.760 it's been so amazing it's been what a blast talking yeah blast you're a hoot you are

01:41:47.520 i think you all around myself thank you all so much for joining us on this episode of the

01:41:53.940 comment section show thank you so much to my amazing guest anna conkle for maybe the one or

01:41:57.880 two people that were born in the 2000s that maybe have never been able to follow you where can they

01:42:02.980 follow you uh i think my this is very embarrassing back to the social media problems um i think it's

01:42:09.080 at anna ryan conkle there you go instagram and um yeah and my my little memoir that's out is called

01:42:15.780 the sane one yes and yeah that's it amazing and obviously you can check out pen 15 and if you'd

01:42:22.460 like and if you'd love to but i think you're incredible and amazing thank you so much for

01:42:26.260 coming thanks for having and thank you for inspiring all of us today all of us writers

01:42:29.440 in the room obviously we have a writer's room going in here and we can only hope to be picked

01:42:33.440 up soon hopefully manifesting i want to hear so much more about oh my gosh i know i and i will

01:42:38.400 fill you in okay on all the details okay but thank you all so much for joining us thank you so much

01:42:42.160 my amazing guest anna conkle don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop every wednesday

01:42:46.140 and you can stream the audio on all streaming audio channels i guess me forgetting now that

01:42:50.760 we changed the outro and you can also find us on youtube at the comment section pod thank you all

01:42:55.760 so much for joining us. Thank you so much to my amazing guests

01:42:57.760 and I'll see you next week. Bye!

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The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - July 08, 2026

ALWAYS A LITTLE BIT 40 Ft. Anna Konkle ｜ Episode 229

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