The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 the comments on this video like this first one says yes but sometimes i see girls that are too

00:00:05.140 confident and they seem kind of ridiculous so i feel like there's a really thin line and

00:00:10.360 i'm scared that sounds like an unconfident man

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00:01:17.940 for details please play responsibly hi everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment

00:01:22.980 section show starring me your favorite minion and i told y'all it's spooky season so get ready for the

00:01:28.400 costumes that's what they're gonna be all month long anyways on to the exciting part my wonderful

00:01:34.040 amazing guest today is the one and only chrissy schlafecka hello oh my gosh beautiful i love you i love

00:01:42.120 you thank you for having me i'm so excited chrissy and i go way back way back we do way back like this

00:01:48.740 together through the ringer right we really have yeah chrissy you've actually been one of my most

00:01:55.700 requested ones too really we're like when are we getting chrissy on the show and then when i had

00:02:00.320 ananiya oh even more so oh my gosh no stop i'm so thankful and grateful to be here seriously

00:02:06.960 chrissy and i were talking before we were talking about how you and i you're probably one of the only

00:02:11.080 creators i've met in the space that gets as much hate as i do yeah yeah it's pretty rotted for us

00:02:18.700 it's you know it's rough out there but like we keep doing it and that's what matters

00:02:23.160 it's like i'm like damn near bald at this point like there's nothing going on behind my eyes anymore

00:02:30.040 just dead no fully truly but you know it's pretty rotted yeah i found you i want to say

00:02:37.160 early 2021 is when i first saw you and i saw all your videos about wearing whatever you want no

00:02:43.900 matter what anyone says which is i think like kind of like the really big ones at the time

00:02:49.360 when i saw you and that's really what exploded you yeah instilling confidence confidence we love that

00:02:55.120 confidence is key do you get lots of people telling you that they you've inspired them to

00:02:59.600 wear whatever they want yeah it's really sweet it's like i grew up not a very confident person and i

00:03:06.480 really had to come into my confidence in the past two years oh yeah really yeah i was you know very

00:03:13.180 not necessarily shy i mean i did musical theater that's embarrassing but like um just not like i

00:03:20.880 didn't have a sense of self yeah for a very long time and so i had gotten out of a really nasty

00:03:25.780 situation i was in and i had to kind of like rebuild myself and i was like who is chrissy and so

00:03:31.960 that's honestly where i started on tiktok i just started posting and like and that's when you

00:03:36.520 were kind of coming into your own at that point yeah and so it's kind of like if you watch from

00:03:40.000 the beginning it's a little bit of a journey that i don't know if anyone would really realize but like

00:03:43.780 of me just like becoming myself and becoming confident and then learning things and then

00:03:48.700 telling other people and also just being silly because i just want to be silly me too

00:03:54.660 right we're here for the silly goofy time i'll tell you that we love to be silly and terrible

00:04:00.220 men hate that oh they hate it they're like you're supposed to sit there and look pretty and not say

00:04:05.020 anything unless it's complimenting me and it's like well i'm gonna sit here and look pretty and

00:04:09.440 also call you stupid and ugly there you go ugly they never tell me i'm pretty so oh for two it might

00:04:16.500 as well oh listen they don't call me pretty either someone went i don't maybe they were calling me

00:04:21.580 pretty in this comment they're like you look like a barbie that got put through the washing machine

00:04:26.280 too many times and i was like you did you go you kind of ate me up a little bit i was like actually

00:04:30.920 true i was like real yeah i honestly don't i've had the worst insults ever i was trying to think of

00:04:39.520 like a good one i've talked about some before they're never really that clever really they're

00:04:44.060 always real bottom shelf like easy picking no one thing about them not clever

00:04:49.580 they really are and they hate us for similar reasons i think oh yes because i i i think i

00:04:57.260 i had kind of elaborated about this a little bit online i think maybe on twitter but i was like

00:05:02.240 talking about how i think the thing that men hate the most that you and i have in common

00:05:07.500 is that it is very obvious that we don't derive our confidence from male validation right like at all

00:05:14.760 right a man could never speak to me again and i would feel the exact same way about myself

00:05:19.160 right yeah no absolutely yeah absolutely let's try it no for real men if you're seeing this stop

00:05:26.600 talking to me especially in general in general every time they see it they're like see you're

00:05:34.800 trying to silence us and it's like yeah yeah well i mean like what you said it not me yeah like

00:05:41.100 if you're gonna say it you know what maybe you're right maybe you're right yeah well you don't ever

00:05:44.900 think before you talk so maybe just don't talk at all exactly like use a brain cell or two if you

00:05:49.620 have um if you can spare one i'd advise use it baby yeah i think it makes it very clear to them that

00:05:57.380 nothing they say can hurt us right because i don't care about what they think and i think that's

00:06:02.640 what pisses them off the most yeah that they they can say some of the most vile things and you and i can

00:06:07.120 read that and just be like okay but really and i think that's where it comes and then they start

00:06:15.120 making all these videos about us and all this commentary and taking like bits and pieces of

00:06:20.280 things we've said and putting them together and being like this is who i think she is yeah and it's

00:06:24.500 like you know what maybe okay and what of it yeah but sometimes i think like oh man the narratives

00:06:30.800 that i've seen built about me yeah some some some dude once made like a video going through a

00:06:37.780 timeline of made up events like none of these are real but he's like convinced they're real so i guess

00:06:43.960 to him they're real but right of like where i got my confidence from how it's probably from my boyfriend

00:06:50.060 how like fluctuating weight had something to do with it i always said babe write a children's book

00:06:56.600 why are you talking about me what the fantasy you created no for real it's just like where do they

00:07:02.220 they come up with all of these just like interpretations and theories about like how

00:07:07.240 we grew up and how we live yeah yeah exactly and it's like you only know also the part of me i'm

00:07:12.660 putting online like just so you know there's like other parts of chrissy that not everybody sees

00:07:17.300 because i choose not to show everyone exactly and that's okay well and that's kind of the whole point

00:07:21.600 of the internet like you only know what you see right so you can base it like but i also think

00:07:26.780 it's weird like to create a persona of someone you don't even know oh yeah that's why they're like

00:07:32.080 you guys don't like sometimes i've seen dudes be like you don't know who the real true is

00:07:36.480 and i'm like do you do you bitch like i've never met you right i've never met you in my life exactly

00:07:42.520 so i can't tell you anything about myself yeah because you're not going to believe me because

00:07:47.920 you've already made up your mind exactly that's the internet for you though they will make up their

00:07:51.820 minds in two seconds and you can be like hey actually no i am the person you're talking about

00:07:56.700 and i have real experiences and yeah i would know my own truth and they're just like but no no actually

00:08:03.320 there's this one tweet that somebody said is 100 true the one tweet that someone said that doesn't

00:08:08.240 even know you yeah and i've talked about that before like in the past with other creators where it's

00:08:13.400 like the conspiracy theory thing like it turns into the almost the biggest game of telephone

00:08:19.100 because then like by the time it gets to the end it's a completely different rumor than what it was

00:08:24.420 at the beginning yeah and i i had said to online i'm like the fact that like someone will make one

00:08:31.400 video and you think it's valid so you're like i knew i didn't like them you're a weirdo i always knew

00:08:37.480 i had a bad feeling yeah the vibes were always off like that's weird oh shit like you're just

00:08:43.900 waiting weren't you following me yeah if the vibes were off you could have you didn't even have to

00:08:49.040 follow in general sometimes i'll see hate comments and it literally says follow back yeah i'm like

00:08:54.540 yeah every time they say the craziest things and then you go to their profile and you're like oh

00:08:59.620 you're a fan yeah well that makes sense right right you talk about me all the time like you're a fan so

00:09:04.780 well that's what i've like come to realize too is that like i personally would never go online

00:09:11.320 see a person and be like i'm gonna say some of the worst things i could possibly think of

00:09:15.680 because i think i've you know i've gone to therapy i've done the thing you know i love myself i love

00:09:22.220 myself and i take care of myself and protect my peace which i just feel like a lot of people on the

00:09:27.760 internet don't know how to do because it's like how are you spending your whole day going online

00:09:32.100 saying some really really nasty things and it's like it almost it does it does make me sad because

00:09:38.720 i'm like you must have a lot of hurt in your heart in your personal life yeah to be you know

00:09:43.980 channeling this anger towards people you don't know because there's people i don't know on the

00:09:48.320 internet who sure i don't really like but i'm not gonna be like i'm not gonna seek them out yeah

00:09:53.640 you know what i do scroll yes that's what i do i go not interested not interested yeah i'd be

00:09:59.080 abusing that button i'm like not interested because i have no beef yeah i just like your

00:10:03.980 content's not for me that's what i always think not everything on the internet believe it or not

00:10:07.880 is for you specifically uh-huh and then when you get angry that's another thing i've said that before

00:10:13.080 too that another reason why men get so mad is because i'm like this this is the one table that

00:10:18.180 you don't have a seat at yeah you have no say in my house yeah so like when you're awful

00:10:23.980 you're you can yell it from outside yeah and no one's listening to you yeah and they get so angry

00:10:29.880 about that because especially on your platform too because they're so used to being prioritized

00:10:34.640 and welcomed in any space right can't relate and it just breaks their brain that like people can do

00:10:40.680 but i have things to say yeah like we can we can do things without you know thinking of them like

00:10:45.840 dressing the way we want to do and saying the things we want to say and existing

00:10:49.120 in our own personal worlds without being like now what would a man think of this

00:10:53.580 how does he feel like how will he perceive me yeah i don't care like believe it or not yeah believe

00:11:02.100 it or not not everything in this world revolves around you but exactly and i think if you focus on

00:11:06.740 if they focus on themselves more you'd probably be a lot happier yeah and be a lot more confident

00:11:11.260 exactly like the two of us and it's funny because those men men like that they seek

00:11:16.120 male validation desperately i mean that's what like men get girlfriends and then they're like oh

00:11:20.540 what are the what are the bros gonna think of my girl and it's like do you want to kiss your bros

00:11:24.480 like who cares what they think about your girl like you know what i mean it's like they're always

00:11:28.640 trying to like seek yeah like you said seek each other's validation like yeah just like make feel

00:11:34.640 better about themselves yes because like they uh are attracted to women they don't always like

00:11:41.380 women yes that's why i'm like you're attracted to women sexually that does not mean you like

00:11:45.200 or respect them like respect goes both ways yes and that's why when they're like you just have

00:11:50.940 zero respect i'm like yeah for a bigot yeah yeah no i got none yeah why would i have it

00:11:55.440 nope like hello i got none that's why i was like yeah yeah i was really mean to you yeah that was on

00:12:02.600 purpose right as i said i meant to be mean i meant what i said i'm glad the message was received yeah

00:12:06.940 i had like i did an interview once and they clipped that apart from my video where i was like they're

00:12:12.180 like all you're doing is spreading hate and i was like well i hate you yeah so i'm glad that message

00:12:17.160 was received yeah like you have it i'm so glad it's on your phone i'm so glad you edited it yeah i'm so

00:12:22.860 glad you have it and you're staring at my face all the time i'm so glad dear lord well that's why like

00:12:29.180 that's that's the confidence that you and i both have yeah and it does not come from putting like

00:12:35.140 other women down or other people that have done nothing to us and it also doesn't come from men

00:12:40.380 at all that's why men were like you only feel good about yourself because you make fun of men i'm like

00:12:43.580 that doesn't make me feel good about myself right that makes me funny exactly like hello don't you

00:12:49.700 know where the humor came from i'm like that doesn't make me feel good about myself there are lots of

00:12:53.880 other things that make me feel good about myself that's just something i'm good at right like knitting

00:12:57.340 yeah potting plants all of that it's a skill yeah you know what i mean you know people have

00:13:01.820 skills it's a trade like i could i could go to school for it if i wanted to and i'd become a

00:13:07.220 master and you should i should start a school that'd be great yeah people ask me maybe i wouldn't skip

00:13:14.540 class though okay so today it leads perfectly to our topic for today because today we're going to be

00:13:21.400 talking about confidence because chrissy is the ceo of confidence babes we try oh my eyelashes

00:13:27.040 we try

00:13:31.280 okay so what we do here on the comment section show is we bring a couple videos here that i was tagged in

00:13:38.360 and then we look at them we laugh we giggle love to giggle never cry never ever we just share nothing

00:13:44.000 but laughs and giggles here so for this first video uh basically it's a woman the way i have to hold my

00:13:49.960 phone like that it's a woman in her bathroom mirror with the caption when you're a confident

00:13:54.340 big girl and she's lip-syncing the audio not trying to be cocky but i'm bad as basically she's

00:14:00.180 like feeling herself yeah which is a good thing period love and so of course some men were not too

00:14:08.000 happy shocker shocking yeah when women do literally anything including breathe they get very upset right

00:14:14.480 right uh this says let's see you without makeup since you're so big-headed i get that a lot too

00:14:20.060 what yeah which is so funny because i'm like that means you're admitting to me attract being attracted

00:14:24.720 to me i've definitely gotten like one swipe and it's all gone actually multiple swipes okay do you

00:14:30.140 know how many makeup wipes i actually have to use no literally tell me you don't know anything about

00:14:34.260 skincare no for me i could tell but that makes it even more obvious right yeah with that it's like

00:14:40.760 well you're admitting you're attracted to them with the makeup exactly it's just like when guys

00:14:46.940 are like oh take her to the pool on the first date i hated that joke okay and it won't come off

00:14:53.080 yeah and i will be tanning and i will look so cute i have my setting spray on same same same same

00:14:59.080 before i used to get lash extensions because i'm a lash extension girly love um i before i used to do

00:15:04.340 that i used to wear strip lashes like to the beach and shit yep oh i just love them me too i love them

00:15:08.540 i'd go underwater with them and stay on kind of and if they don't whatever whatever who cares like

00:15:13.980 what who cares yeah who cares i'm not gonna be embarrassed if a man sees me like is do you think

00:15:18.640 a man's gonna look at me and be like your eyelashes a little off i've said that i've said that before

00:15:24.400 too especially about makeup i'm like you're giving yourself way too much credit yeah right you can't

00:15:28.860 tell the difference you know what foundation is yeah come on no come on if i showed you a picture of me

00:15:33.640 with no makeup makeup on you would think i had nothing on so you're an idiot no exactly i feel

00:15:38.640 like i would post a photo of me with no makeup on and they'd be like take it all off i've gotten that

00:15:44.880 really yeah 90 of my videos i film with no makeup on i just have lashes so then they're like why don't

00:15:50.640 you try taking that makeup off first i'm all i don't have any on my face right oh my god you dim

00:15:55.020 went you have any any other questions no right like write an essay babe like holy i'm like okay

00:16:01.100 sherlock great detective work really and i i always think too like do you even care at that point

00:16:07.020 right like it's it's the same like kind of connotation towards um when they try to like

00:16:12.340 comment on women who get any sort of like work done to themselves right like plastic surgery wise

00:16:17.260 if you want to do it do it whatever makes you feel good about yourself babe but with that sometimes

00:16:22.000 they'll say things like well i don't like fake boobs like you know they're too like blah blah blah

00:16:28.040 all these unsolicited commentary about right and i think if you had a pair of titties in your face

00:16:32.540 you're telling me that you're gonna be like fake you're like where now where like hold on hang on

00:16:37.300 are these fake no right like are you gonna get up and leave yeah you're gonna be like put your clothes

00:16:41.440 back on you disgust me disgusting you're a liar bro seriously that's why i'm like what do you care if

00:16:49.000 they're fake right you don't you don't care because you're looking at them anyway like you

00:16:54.440 don't like are you really trying to investigate and see and you're like i hate fake boobs

00:17:00.100 you're like wait a second are those fake like let me trust again

00:17:06.040 just i'm disgusted like what the hell they act like they care so much and then honestly it's like

00:17:13.900 no literally all you care is about the physical aspect too like you you if you're that concerned

00:17:20.000 about how much makeup i'm wearing you're obviously not concerned about getting to know me or knowing

00:17:25.580 anything that's true that's the self-read because you're admitting to being like superficial yeah you're

00:17:32.480 admitting to being the worst like literally the worst out the gate yeah not even not even five seconds

00:17:38.620 into the day if my eyeliner is a red flag baby you're covered and i'm like sorry oh no you don't

00:17:44.500 want to date me oh too bad okay so this next comment says to each his own but you should work on your

00:17:54.860 body just my opinion hello what an unsolicited opinion not that yeah i'll say that much just my

00:18:03.260 opinion just my opinion that's why i say like one time i defended one of my friends on tiktok

00:18:09.740 and this guy said with his whole chest he said because she was she's a fat woman she's a plus size

00:18:15.740 model actually and so he goes you just like it's disgusting to me that people like you are idolized

00:18:23.500 because i don't want to have kids in a world where women like this are revered he said that with his

00:18:29.660 whole chest men always bring kids up like they're like what would the kids think and it's like do

00:18:35.260 you care what kids think yeah like do you actually and if you care that much like maybe you have a

00:18:40.540 problem maybe yeah why are you thinking about kids so much weirdo yeah well then i i i literally was

00:18:46.500 like i said to him i made jokes about him because he made he was like attacking my friend so i made jokes

00:18:52.760 about him and i said that he looked like he was about five seven and then i said um what size shoe are you

00:18:59.020 like an eight eight and a half right and then i said if you can't make it past the cheeks just say

00:19:03.580 that bow and so he heard nothing else i said except those two jokes yeah then he goes he admitted he

00:19:12.020 was like i am five seven and i am a size eight i'm all damn spot on right i was a shot in the dark

00:19:17.160 babe and i got you no two for two right but he was like he got so upset and he was like i was just

00:19:23.500 making observations blah blah so was that so were you what what what like you're cool with your own

00:19:28.500 observations standard but that's what i'm saying like you're observing like he's like just my

00:19:32.240 opinion if i was like and just my opinion you're ugly right they'd be like that's too far like you

00:19:36.380 can't say stuff like that do you know how bad it is for my mental health you know like all these

00:19:40.400 things like you're the problem with social media and it's like no you you are all of a sudden they

00:19:44.400 care yeah about about mental health all of a sudden they care about all like x y and z

00:19:49.840 but oh literally like but no the minute you get called out for it or you get made fun of it's like

00:19:56.840 and i'm like see this is why the internet is a toxic and i can't go on this anymore yeah this

00:20:04.780 and it's like it's so toxic i'm like you started it you the comments make almost all the toxicity

00:20:11.240 like that's what i'm saying you're right because it's like you can't have a woman filming herself

00:20:17.040 feeling herself enjoying herself threatening no one yeah literally no one if that upsets you

00:20:22.780 dear lord i'm begging i'm on my knees i could give you a recommendation for a therapist my therapist is

00:20:28.940 great yes there you go like you need it it's just like why and like i said earlier like it just makes

00:20:34.420 and that doesn't make me sad for them it just like it really opens my mind like you are so unhappy

00:20:38.480 with yourself that you are just commenting on something so innocent well and it's doing nothing

00:20:42.560 to anyone like it's not she's feeling good about herself maybe someone else will find confidence

00:20:47.300 in it yeah that bothers you that's why i said like yeah if fat people bother you that much

00:20:52.180 maybe you have a problem yes you definitely do maybe you're maybe you're ill yes like think about

00:20:59.480 it you know what i mean right and i think i think to myself too like i've just never been

00:21:03.340 that bothered by people that weren't harming me right like they weren't hurting me they weren't

00:21:07.780 attacking me they weren't antagonizing me literally at all they're just living their life and

00:21:12.180 operating in their own space right and i'm like that bothers me i'm gonna go over there and

00:21:16.300 harass them you're a weirdo it's like you can scroll like the app is limitless babe it really is

00:21:23.920 come on right and then there's other like other body shaming comments as well like basically saying

00:21:30.420 like she's pretty but they don't like her body whatever i'm like i don't think she cares and it's

00:21:36.500 also like she probably doesn't even care that you called her like she's pretty like we don't even i

00:21:41.080 don't need that from you either yeah well yeah either or either or like i don't need to hear a

00:21:45.060 single thing you know what you can do delete a comment you know what you do go get some bitches

00:21:49.640 bro like go drown in some pussy have you tried you tried like let's be honest talking to a woman

00:21:57.120 have you ever touched a woman have you ever looked at a woman like do you talk does your mom know

00:22:01.600 anything you're saying on the internet like like dude lord that's why i i've heard the argument too

00:22:07.380 sometimes they're like oh when you say that they're like you're just assuming that men like

00:22:11.580 that don't get laid or whatever right and i was like they don't that doesn't mean that like more

00:22:17.860 conventionally attractive men don't get laid but like they're still unhappy right and they don't get

00:22:23.500 nearly as much puss as they make you believe that they do oh yeah like they just act like women are so

00:22:29.860 dumb in the sense that it's like they see a man acting like that and they're just gonna be like

00:22:33.780 they think okay they think we're gonna think the way a man thinks exactly like they think we're

00:22:39.060 gonna be like oh screw all the horrible things you're saying or whatever i'm still gonna like

00:22:43.980 have sex with you it's the male gaze it's the male yeah and it's like no like in a chokehold babe

00:22:49.060 one of some of my first some of my first videos to ever like really really take off were about gym

00:22:54.220 bros my favorite people right my biggest fans they're my biggest fans yeah my bffs for life right

00:23:01.140 uh love you babe um with them i was talking i was actually defending another dude like he was

00:23:06.820 making fun of like thinner dudes and he was like a big meathead and i made a video defending him like

00:23:12.860 saying like just because you have like cal king pillows for pecs bro does not mean that you're

00:23:19.400 automatically gonna get women like that's no guarantee babe and if you do i always say like if you do a lot

00:23:25.420 of times if they if it sustains that girl might be a pick me right if it doesn't it's because they

00:23:32.300 thought you were one thing and then you opened your flapping gums and then they were like yeah no

00:23:37.660 right immediately no they think we just don't listen yeah you don't have ears we don't hear the things

00:23:42.740 they're saying and have our own opinions like how dare a woman think dear lord if you're a woman and

00:23:49.260 you're thinking right now stop well yeah and then i i saw a video once where this guy was like i forget

00:23:54.460 who he was showing pictures of i think it might have been addison ray but he was showing pictures

00:23:58.700 of her with her boyfriend and he was like i don't understand like how someone like like i look like

00:24:04.220 how i look and he looks like how he looks like he's comparing their looks and he's like and she's

00:24:08.980 someone like her is with him and i say you don't hear what you just said about yourself right it's

00:24:13.900 like maybe because you suck maybe you're garbage have you thought about that i've said that before

00:24:20.120 what are the odds every woman is wrong right you every woman you come across is like i i like

00:24:24.720 genuinely hate this guy yeah and you're like they're all wrong yeah they're all wrong about me

00:24:28.580 even the ones that have probably like dated you or slept with you or whatever yeah they probably did

00:24:34.960 leave those interactions being like that is the worst person i've ever like why did i do that like

00:24:41.060 they're beating themselves up which they shouldn't it's hard but like well also sometimes like

00:24:45.420 although men like that like terrible men like that are are like dingbats in their very nature

00:24:50.200 yeah some of them have mastered the art of lying oh so oh yeah so they can pretend for a while

00:24:56.080 and then after a while it rears its ugly head have you met my ex like yes it's i mean yeah it's like

00:25:02.960 the love bombing thing too and just lying and completely lying about their character and then you get so

00:25:07.840 sucked in and then slowly it just like strips off of them and you're just like what have i done

00:25:13.460 this person is a nightmare who is this person yeah literally i i made a video about that once because

00:25:18.300 i saw a guy he stitched some woman who was basically saying that like you know men who are abusive

00:25:24.980 in their very nature are the reason why a lot of women say not all men or not men say not all men like

00:25:31.660 terrible ones but women say all men yeah and this guy was like he was trying to do like a thought

00:25:37.720 experiment like trying different sodas and they none or different liquids and they all look different

00:25:42.580 and he's like why are all these terrible like basically saying it's women's fault if they date

00:25:47.140 terrible men which is such a pick me dude thing to say like it is and it's so unfair it's like do you

00:25:53.820 not do you not listen like no of course do you not listen to the guys around you the way they talk

00:25:59.100 and the way they switch up when they're around women yeah have you ever like watch that in real

00:26:03.760 time yeah because it's so like of course i didn't want to date an abusive person yeah of course that

00:26:11.580 wasn't my thought when i started dating my ex yeah like i wasn't like i'm ready for some fun yeah yeah

00:26:18.560 you know and then i'm six months in and i'm like the ignorance where am i like what is going on that's

00:26:24.360 just a willful ignorance i think that they do like when they say things like that it's it's so

00:26:29.360 harmful and it's very nature but they also like it alludes to a larger conversation about like how

00:26:35.040 they just women are just constantly at fault no matter what happens to them like they are just

00:26:40.660 constantly at fault or held to a completely different standard yeah it's like that actual

00:26:46.040 abusers are yeah so though i said to him like you if you looked at all like coke and pepsi products like

00:26:53.220 they all look the same yeah but they don't taste the same and you don't know till you try it so

00:26:57.480 women get fooled all the time because they they're like okay well this person seems nice

00:27:01.900 and then after like however long that mask comes off and you're like oh my god you're a nightmare

00:27:07.280 yeah and then their men are like that's what you get for dating for dating and i always say like

00:27:12.140 you know that whole nice guys finish last it's the same kind of dude who says shit like that but i

00:27:16.240 always say like you think women are like i think i'm gonna date someone who's awful to me

00:27:19.960 you think that's a conscious choice they're making and then you just go and blame them and

00:27:25.160 it's like it becomes this like little hate party on the woman and it's like the guy's not even like

00:27:29.780 held accountable for what the awful things he did and you yeah like you'll say well he did this to me

00:27:35.960 and then they're like well why did you stay and it's like do you not know how cycles of abuse go like

00:27:42.480 do you do you know what it's like to be with a narcissist do you know what it's like to be with someone

00:27:47.200 that is just like scary in that sense like have you ever been in that situation and it's so frustrating

00:27:52.240 like being someone who's been in that situation and reading stuff like that because it's just like

00:27:56.640 you don't get it yeah you don't understand it and it's okay if you don't but you don't have to judge me

00:28:02.780 for it yeah well and it's also it's so unwarranted like yeah you're in no position first of all to

00:28:08.820 judge anyone on any anything when it's coming from a place of like ignorance especially like if you

00:28:14.340 don't even know then how can you sit there and tell other people what they should and shouldn't

00:28:18.420 know exactly you know what i mean you don't know what you would do in that situation and i i've said

00:28:22.560 that before too about other like podcasts like yeah that one podcast that we all hey i won't say the

00:28:28.800 name of it but like we know we know the one i'm i see it in my dreams but that like i told i i made a

00:28:36.800 video once because i got tagged in this video where they were like berating some woman she walked off the

00:28:41.100 set whatever and they were like saying all these awful things to her in the mic and uh they were

00:28:45.500 like oh talk about this talk about this i'm like i've already talked about these dudes forever

00:28:48.140 they i they hate me so bad they've made several episodes about me so that's how much they hate

00:28:52.540 me so kiss you and i was like and the feeling's mutual babe i hate you too so there you go but i was

00:28:57.640 like i've said on there i'm like stop going on this podcast like right just don't don't pay

00:29:02.740 attention to them like you gotta act like they're dead bro like that's how it works but i was saying

00:29:06.760 like and and i had to put in my comments i'm like and there's no judgment towards the women who do go

00:29:10.940 on that podcast they don't some of them don't know we don't know their stories i'm not telling you to

00:29:15.220 judge them i'm telling you to just don't engage with them at all if you get invited or whatever

00:29:20.400 like think before you go yeah is this something i want to willingly enter and then if you do you do

00:29:25.760 whatever right but that's always like i'm not judging you babe i'm judging them right because

00:29:29.980 they're making an active decision to be awful for no reason so exactly it's not yeah it's not the

00:29:35.260 person that decides to go yeah that sounds like they don't know you can hope they'd think about

00:29:39.740 it or yeah but you also don't know the extent of what they know about them like yeah that i didn't

00:29:45.060 know a lot about them until it started like that's what i'm saying going up on the internet not that

00:29:49.760 i think i'd go on anyway but like i'm just saying like but some people genuinely don't know at all

00:29:54.180 or they they promise they'll promise them like oh you can talk to me and like maybe you can convince

00:29:58.340 me otherwise that's always like you cannot convince people like that you can't yeah you can't that just

00:30:03.180 goes all the way back like you don't know people like you don't know these people that are facades

00:30:09.060 of the internet and they're just like literally you don't you know an aspect and like sure you can

00:30:14.260 have critical thinking skills and judge the aspect and not like it and scroll or if you have something

00:30:20.160 to say that is meaningful and that is educational and that someone can learn from please say it yeah

00:30:25.980 but if you don't like then you can be a little then you can you know what i mean

00:30:32.780 okay so i'll move on to this next video so this next one says in this video a woman is sharing

00:30:39.640 confidence tips her main four points in the video are working on your posture and body language to

00:30:45.760 physically feel more confident making your internal thoughts about yourself more positive

00:30:49.700 push yourself to get out there and limit negative people in your life which i think is fair i think

00:30:56.200 those are great tips yeah great starter tips especially yeah you get a lot of questions about

00:31:00.740 how to build confidence oh yeah i get those all the time all the time what's your like best advice you

00:31:06.320 think i think it's kind of hard to be like if you do this you're gonna be confident yeah you know

00:31:11.960 what i mean because it just seems so like like like an ad almost like an ad for confidence you know

00:31:17.240 it's not like a one size fits all kind of thing yeah and like i think the biggest thing i always say

00:31:21.800 and that i have to do literally every day is like wake up and like decide yeah okay i'm gonna be

00:31:27.440 confident today i'm gonna love myself today i'm gonna do it and it's like a conscious decision

00:31:31.160 because like there are days i wake up and i'm like i really hate myself right now i don't want to

00:31:37.380 love myself i feel horrible and like and that's valid too yeah and they're real like you can't you can't

00:31:43.560 be the side of confidence without feeling this side of like not confident yeah exactly negativity

00:31:50.220 you know what i mean you can't have one without the other and so it's just like for me like deciding

00:31:54.860 like i'm gonna love how i look today i'm gonna wear what i want today yeah i'm not gonna care i'm not

00:31:59.580 gonna care and like sure it doesn't prevent it's not like a shield yeah but like having that in the

00:32:05.800 back of your head at least for me has really helped me just like practice those things because

00:32:10.940 it's a practice yeah absolutely i did not wake up in these past two years and just say like

00:32:17.180 this is it now like i'm the it girl oh my god i'm confident yeah like it took a lot of healing a lot

00:32:23.420 of understanding myself a lot of compassion yeah for myself i had to give myself so much compassion

00:32:29.280 yeah be like girl you have be patient with yourself yeah because it's not easy but like i guess just

00:32:36.660 like to wrap it up just like put it into practice speak it into yourself into the mirror every day

00:32:43.300 it feels silly but like it at least helps me and i don't know if it's gonna help everyone but it's

00:32:48.820 worth trying yeah that's also that's a good point because i love affirmations yes i think they're so

00:32:54.640 powerful yeah the words you say even if you're kidding or you're joking or whatever like self-deprecation

00:33:00.200 is like you know a common thing with people who are working on it or whatever um your brain still

00:33:05.900 listens to you and still internalizes like a baby like you talk around a baby like they'll

00:33:10.320 they internalize the things you're saying even if they don't inherently understand them at the

00:33:14.980 at that point in time yeah but same thing with your brain like your brain is hearing everything

00:33:18.960 you're saying about yourself so even if you don't consciously think like oh i like i hate myself i hate

00:33:25.180 myself hate myself you talking badly about yourself is internalized and held on to right so the days you

00:33:30.960 are having vulnerable days or you're not feeling the best about yourself you think about the things

00:33:34.380 that you've said in the past and you're like oh my god all those things are true and yeah and it's

00:33:38.060 almost hard i feel like because sometimes like you like people who get and i've definitely done this so

00:33:44.020 i will speak as myself like yeah when i would just make jokes and like self-deprecate i would kind of

00:33:49.400 look around the room be like do you agree you do look for like external validation and like there's

00:33:56.360 going to be so many people who go chrissy no like you're amazing you're beautiful you're this this and

00:34:02.020 this and for two seconds you get a little little like oh yeah but that's not gonna change the way

00:34:08.520 you feel it's not gonna last i can can you know i get beautiful and wonderful comments that of course

00:34:14.060 stick with me all day but on the days that i am i'm not happy and i don't feel good about myself

00:34:20.100 i have to choose yeah to be happy i have to tell myself because as much as i believe those people

00:34:26.600 and want to believe those people there are times that like their words don't access me the way my own

00:34:31.720 would yeah exactly absolutely that's such a good point i and i've it kind of lends towards as well

00:34:37.840 like relationships yeah because i've had i get relationship questions all the time and i was like

00:34:42.900 i've told them before that like no one's ever gonna love you like you love you yeah and like

00:34:49.440 when you work on yourself and you work on your confidence and how much you love yourself and

00:34:54.280 take care of yourself like whatever that may look like whether it's like self-care looks different for

00:34:59.360 everyone yeah sometimes it's like you know pampering yourself sometimes it's just eating and

00:35:04.980 showering you know what i mean like it's bare minimum sometimes and that's okay because we all have

00:35:09.680 been there at one point but i always think like that's something you really need to like

00:35:14.440 put into practice like you said all the time yeah and make it like a habit especially on days when

00:35:20.860 you're not feeling your best because if you're not in a position like that and you do come across

00:35:25.580 someone who's manipulative narcissistic you'll derive that from them like yeah the love and adoration

00:35:32.440 that you should be giving yourself and should just be amplified by your part like whoever you're with

00:35:37.440 whether it's your partner boyfriend girlfriend what what have you as soon as they leave you're

00:35:42.460 gonna lose it again yeah right so like you gotta instill it in yourself so you're like i'm gonna

00:35:46.800 love me no matter what and if someone comes and loves me too awesome for them lucky them yeah that's

00:35:52.380 what i always say lucky to be loving you yeah absolutely you know and i think also just like

00:35:57.140 learning how to like love yourself and all of like that whole thing and putting into practice like

00:36:02.880 when like you were saying those narcissistic people come and those haters come and everything

00:36:06.980 you can just be like you know what they're wrong actually yeah like there's been times i've gotten

00:36:11.500 some really nasty comments and some nasty things and instead of internalizing it and being like

00:36:16.340 am i really like that am i am i this isn't this i just had to be like actually i know myself and

00:36:22.080 that's not true and i've been able to just like not even think about it the rest of the day

00:36:25.660 and you need that if you do this you need that

00:36:29.580 i'm sorry it's not easy it is i said that like i'm like piece of cake like no it's not and that's

00:36:37.060 okay you do need that though like that practice in general you should have that in life but like

00:36:42.200 especially if you do any sort of like public facing career of any kind you have to like really know who you

00:36:50.400 are and what you want and who like who you are as a person and how you affect others is what you

00:36:56.380 should really understand and internalize because then people like we said will say the craziest

00:37:01.960 shit about us the craziest and they're it's all made up none of it's real

00:37:05.960 it's so everything's a lie yeah everything's a lie like when it's just hater shit it's it's all it's just

00:37:15.140 lies it's purely lies so the comments on this video like this first one says yes but sometimes

00:37:21.160 i see girls that are too confident and they seem kind of ridiculous so i feel like there's a really

00:37:26.860 thin line and i'm scared that sounds like an unconfident man what does that even what is a thin

00:37:35.320 line like what is there what is there too confident like between confidence and too confidence like

00:37:41.000 where is the i would like an explanation yeah where is the line exactly what do you deem too

00:37:47.020 confident and ridiculous like is it ridiculous because you're looking at them and that you're

00:37:51.660 seeing them enjoy themselves and you secretly wish you could do the same and is that why it's so

00:37:56.700 ridiculous because we're not sitting in self-hatred that's what i'm saying jared

00:38:00.500 that's real that's what we call projection love you know what i mean like that's you being upset

00:38:07.200 because you don't like yourself right and i always think it's not other people's responsibility

00:38:11.480 to like fix your inner trauma no you know what i mean like you're watching someone else you're like

00:38:18.160 okay i hate myself and this person doesn't so i'm gonna hate them that's weird the amount of comments

00:38:23.500 i get like yeah it's so weird just like i'm sorry like i truly am sorry you don't like yourself

00:38:29.300 because that's a very sad way to live and that's on you babe and i hope you don't live like that all the

00:38:34.900 time i truly do wish the best for them but to hate me for doing something so innocent yeah i love

00:38:40.140 myself love yourself like being stupid like yeah and then they're like no i don't like this girl yeah

00:38:46.100 actually screw you you're a weirdo dude you're so weird it didn't resonate hey babe you're not my

00:38:54.720 target audience yeah that's okay and i i think that's always like some women are too confident

00:39:00.320 is that's transparently like it makes you feel weird about yourself and i've talked about too

00:39:06.820 i'm pretty sure on here i've talked about it how like i think like emasculating men um is a fallacy

00:39:13.620 like you can't emasculate you can't take something from a man who doesn't derive that power from

00:39:18.840 pushing you down right so your toxic masculinity the internalized toxic masculinity that you have

00:39:25.080 when they say like oh don't emasculate him right that's you putting projecting onto like me for

00:39:31.980 example because obviously i'm with a man yeah so like they'll say like oh you're gonna emasculate

00:39:36.940 him by acting that way my man doesn't draw power from pushing me down right so no i'm not like me

00:39:44.260 being confident in myself and loving myself and being outspoken right doesn't hurt him because it has

00:39:50.300 nothing to do with him and it's almost weird that they're making your relationship just like

00:39:54.620 not two separate people but one thing yeah yeah and it's him over me yeah and it's like the the

00:40:00.420 idea that you need to be vulnerable and weaker whether it's emotionally or physically yeah to

00:40:06.360 push up your like boyfriend or husband or whatever right that's internalized misogyny yeah that's

00:40:13.980 that's patriarchy babe like exactly he doesn't need to use me as a step stool to feel better about

00:40:18.660 himself right because he's not a misogynist believe it or not exactly and it's like also like it's like

00:40:24.420 you know you're dating a guy and you go to the club and you're wearing something yeah super cute

00:40:29.860 and sexy and guys are like how could you let her wear that like you let her go out like that and

00:40:33.800 it's like oh i didn't know men were in charge of my wardrobe would you like to go shopping with me

00:40:39.400 love and would you like to pay for it because if you don't listen yeah but see then they're like

00:40:44.740 all gold diggers yeah see what i mean you can't have one without the other that's what i'm saying

00:40:49.160 like you guys are you guys are hot and cold all the time like make up your mind i mean they can

00:40:54.100 never agree on a single thing no never it's it's extremely contradictory that's why the whole like

00:40:59.240 oh well you know like letting her dress like a certain way whatever i've talked about that too i'm

00:41:04.640 like yeah you don't want you don't want a girlfriend or wife you don't want an equal partner in your

00:41:10.800 relationship no you want a maid yeah or your mom you want something to use yeah or like or or a dog

00:41:18.740 like i don't know like like you can tell a dog what to do you can't tell a human what to do that's

00:41:23.920 weird right that's like you want to be controlling of the person that you're supposed to like love and

00:41:29.400 cherish and it's so like over sexualization of it too it's like you're assuming because i go out like

00:41:35.940 this and i dress like this that i am like all right now who am i gonna hook up with every second

00:41:40.780 of every day yeah like again it's not it's not for anything other than you exactly and they can't

00:41:47.180 wrap their brains around that concept because their validation comes from other men yeah and they always

00:41:53.140 assume that women's validation comes from men too and i talked about how like to like misogynistic men

00:41:59.820 believe that women are inferior to them and therefore they believe they're vapid and all they care

00:42:04.840 about is looks and how they how they're perceived by men right so they think everything women do is

00:42:10.800 solely for the either the satisfaction or approval of men yeah that's why the two of us are like what

00:42:16.680 is wrong with these bitches because because i couldn't care less what you say about me babe

00:42:22.380 right and like some like i i made some videos recently where i'm like being kind of serious and

00:42:27.940 i'm not as like jokey as i typically am yeah and some dudes are like i like your content like this

00:42:32.200 make it this way and then i go no please i said i literally wrote don't get used to it because this

00:42:38.020 is like one of the only times you're going to see me this way because they just want to see you be

00:42:41.320 quiet they want to see exactly they want to see you not raise your voice or say yeah what you feel

00:42:47.360 and say what you mean yeah they're like you've been wronged by men in the past don't don't wrong men

00:42:53.220 in the future bro suck my ass that's what i wrote like go to hell i have been wronged by men in the past

00:42:58.800 and i will wrong you back hello immediately immediately watch your back

00:43:04.400 that's why i'm like immediately that's like how are you so threatened by us that's why it's it's

00:43:11.060 weird it's like it's it's also just like they are so scared of us yeah it's not even it's like

00:43:15.840 they're trying to tone us down they're trying to tell us what to do yeah what not to do

00:43:20.000 while they are just terrified of us yeah it's the fear that it's it's because you know i i it's like

00:43:26.880 they have women in this trance yeah right or at least they believe they do yes and then chrissy

00:43:32.960 and i are like the most extreme form of an alarm clock i'm waking these bitches up and i'm taking

00:43:38.160 them with me listen up yeah i'm rounding them up and we're leaving right like little ducklings are

00:43:43.980 following me behind right that's why the two of us are completely different because i'm not telling

00:43:48.920 them to abuse you i'm telling them to leave you babe yeah i'm telling them they're better than you

00:43:52.980 and they don't like that because then they're like now i gotta raise the part now i gotta be a

00:43:57.060 good person like sometimes maybe i encourage arson and lighting things on fire but also all i'm saying

00:44:04.340 is leave him yeah there you go and if you are so upset that i'm that the shoe fits that that the

00:44:09.920 behaviors you are portraying and the way you are treating your anyone any woman or person in your life

00:44:16.280 yeah and i'm calling those out and you're seeing that and you're going oh screw her screw her

00:44:20.540 yeah there's something called internal work you can do unpack it you can unpack it you can work

00:44:27.200 on yourself you can understand why does that why does that make me so mad i've there's just in life

00:44:32.960 things and i'm like god that makes me so mad why and i've had to unpack it and be like oh turns out

00:44:38.740 it's me turns out it's me sometimes you're the problem and it's fine but just fix it god that's

00:44:45.660 called being an adult yeah yeah that's called the world the real world babe where your actions have

00:44:50.580 consequences that's crazy right that's crazy yeah and and the perception that other people have of

00:44:56.040 you is solely derived from how you affect them yeah so like if i affect you negatively and your

00:45:02.800 perception your perception of me is going to be negative yeah but ask yourself why exactly and i and

00:45:08.200 i even said in a recent video i made too i'm like i can't believe none of you ever think to yourselves

00:45:12.480 why does someone like this have a platform like you don't think to yourself what we all have in

00:45:17.340 common right is that you're the worst yeah you're terrible right like people are agreeing with me

00:45:23.660 maybe understand why yeah like don't you ever think like why someone like this seemingly important to

00:45:30.140 the online community you yourself and myself included like why does someone like this attract so many

00:45:36.640 like-minded people right because one of the things i'm most proud of when it comes to my platform is

00:45:40.940 like none of my fans look the same like they're all so very different and come from very different

00:45:45.680 walks of life so they what do all of them have in common like think to yourself like use some

00:45:52.800 critical thinking babe why do all of them love us why use your brain figure it out i always think

00:45:59.260 you're right there i'm not gonna do it for you you're so close or don't yeah or just be unhappy and

00:46:06.480 be mad at the things we say and keep making content about it and giving us views thank you

00:46:10.620 and then suck my dick instead yeah that's what i think it said like do that why don't you i bet

00:46:14.900 that's a better use of your time right if i'm being honest like if you're that obsessed just do it

00:46:18.980 just do it god i told a guy before like when this this one guy was like commenting on all my pictures

00:46:25.880 once and i on instagram like hey hey shit and i go dude you want to kiss me on the lips or what

00:46:30.700 seriously what's going on with you man seriously it's 2 a.m why are you doing this right now yeah

00:46:36.120 you are so angry for no reason you could go to bed love yeah don't you have a shift in the morning

00:46:42.100 literally uh some of these other comments this one just says or you just become a narcissist with

00:46:48.500 no personality the way that they've conflated the term confident and narcissism i know i know this one

00:46:54.760 guy tried to call me a narcissist and i go i'm gonna need you to explain to me what you think a

00:46:58.340 narcissist is quickly yeah and the the definition he gave me i go yeah that's not it but it's not

00:47:03.240 crap they don't that's not it babe it's so and it oh did you know narcissistic personality disorder

00:47:10.000 more commonly affects men yeah i wonder why that is think about it god it's just like you can't see

00:47:20.720 like why can't people look at confident women or confident people in a general sense and just be

00:47:26.840 like i'm happy for you yeah like that's awesome because it's like just the perception of so much

00:47:34.940 of it is just people being so angry yeah and like and for what and it's like why and why do you have

00:47:41.160 to bring up all these like things about like it's like then they try and go for your insecurity they're

00:47:45.280 like where now where is it like where can i like yeah exactly you know get her where it hurts and it's

00:47:49.920 like nowhere like actually nowhere yeah you know what's crazy is if i cared enough about strangers

00:47:57.420 opinions of me on the internet i would not have built a platform no i tell you that i would not be

00:48:03.200 here we wouldn't have made it you would not see the beauty that is before you you really wouldn't

00:48:09.040 have yeah i can promise you that right it's i think it's just the most intense form of self-projection

00:48:15.820 and it's also it's a read you're reading yourself when you say things like that but you're right

00:48:20.740 when i see other women or other people in general who are so confident and love themselves i think to

00:48:26.940 myself i'm like that's awesome it's so cool i'm so happy for you like that's that's incredible and

00:48:31.560 then you and i get comments all the time um where people are like i wish i could be as confident as

00:48:37.540 you i wish i had this kind of strength or confidence and you do yeah that's the tea it's there you do have

00:48:43.680 it you just have to give yourself permission to access it because sometimes i say like why do you

00:48:48.480 think that you don't deserve to love yourself the way that you should be right like you're telling

00:48:53.780 yourself i don't deserve love like that why what makes you think that about yourself and i'm sure

00:48:57.220 it's like derived from like comments other people have made absolutely you know the your childhood and

00:49:03.560 all of that but it's like what makes the things they have said about you so important exactly because

00:49:08.620 like like i said like the people that are saying those things it's like they must feel so

00:49:13.060 awful about themselves yeah that they're projecting it onto you and so why does their feelings about

00:49:19.240 themselves have anything to do with you they don't they don't yeah i i think all the time like what

00:49:24.340 other people think of me is none of my business it's none of my business think whatever you want

00:49:27.960 it's okay if you hate me it's okay if you don't like me it's okay if you don't find me attractive or

00:49:32.200 whatever it is but like i love me and i find me attractive yeah so you don't and keep it to yourself

00:49:38.240 yeah also like don't share it with me and like don't be mad when i respond and i call you stupid

00:49:44.460 yeah exactly when like uh i made a video about that the other day when i was like when men are like

00:49:52.320 oh look how ugly this person is whatever and i'm like okay so that whole argument would mean that

00:49:59.000 i am hurt because you said you don't want to me right i don't care did you ever think about the

00:50:05.620 fact that i don't want to you either no never that that thought never crosses it's only one way

00:50:10.220 and then when i go will you like quite literally look like someone drew you from memory so i don't

00:50:17.440 care about you like i like genuinely like you make me sick like if you tried to touch me i'd have to

00:50:23.400 put you on your back right i'm saying immediately in a violent way not in a sexual way yeah and then

00:50:29.200 then they go yeah that's too far yeah like cool it i'm like yeah cool it barbie i'm allowed to tell

00:50:37.200 you you're ugly you're not allowed to tell me yeah that's why when they say you're so ugly i would

00:50:41.380 never see me i go same like now what god because i was thinking the same thing believe it or not babe

00:50:49.940 you're not really my type either right you know what i mean right i don't want to hook up with

00:50:55.080 stewart little that's on you i'm gonna start using that now come on babe seriously no no and then

00:51:03.160 they're like see this is why women like this are so toxic like immediately women like this only focus

00:51:09.520 on the physical you said it first you said it first let me say oh my gosh that literally reminds

00:51:14.020 me of today today i'm walking to get food with my manager yeah and i'm just walking across the

00:51:20.940 street like people do yeah okay have you ever seen someone walk across the street before it's

00:51:24.800 normal it's fine looking at their phone like it's literally fine this guy is like turning and he

00:51:29.660 goes you should smile and i go today today oh my god and i stop in the middle of the street i go what

00:51:35.900 the fuck did you just say to me like fully and then he goes whoa oh i didn't mean anything by it

00:51:43.260 it's like what did you mean actually though like what did you why are you now the minute i say what

00:51:47.620 the were you just talking about yeah like why did what are you talking about what are you talking

00:51:51.540 about who are you talking to me yeah and then you just get this straight up defense it's like the

00:51:55.580 same thing it's just online it's like the minute we respond with some sort of anger or just anything

00:52:01.360 distaste yeah of any kind you crazy bitch what if i am and and and remember that i was like hold

00:52:09.840 on if you don't remember nothing else about me remember that yeah remember that arson babe

00:52:15.120 when i was like younger um i've said before like i was a lot crazier in my like responses to any sort

00:52:23.980 of like objectification assault like harassment of any kind i would lose it almost immediately i'd

00:52:31.880 like cause a scene yeah i'd like start throwing shit like i was i was insane so like i had to like

00:52:37.220 dial it down a little bit because you can't trust anybody true but that's just me getting older but

00:52:43.100 at the time i i'd like immediately react in like a somewhat aggressive or violent way and they'd be

00:52:49.800 like what's your problem right don't talk to you you were the you existing right here and breathing

00:52:56.560 is my problem currently that's my problem right now right can you fix it look in the mirror baby

00:53:01.360 can you alleviate that no get out of my face like that's not immediately i um remember one time i was

00:53:08.480 i told this story on tiktok like probably right before i started really blowing up but one time

00:53:12.700 i was at a bar with one of my friends and we're hanging out and these guys were like oh this is

00:53:18.180 my buy you guys drinks whatever we're like okay so you know you talk to them and you're like okay

00:53:23.320 goodbye like after a while you're like yeah this was nice yeah and they offered right so we let them

00:53:28.820 buy drinks whatever this one guy wouldn't leave me alone man all night he followed me everywhere

00:53:32.980 what all night like all night for hours you're a weirdo but anyways his friends left without him

00:53:38.440 my friend and i were trying to go home he's like oh can i share an uber i'm like no get your own

00:53:42.800 and then he just gets in the car anyways and he's sitting in the back with me we're driving

00:53:46.380 and i'm like give this man your address because you're not coming home with me right no he's like

00:53:51.040 i just want to get to know you better i just want to get to know you oh the cringe it sends up my

00:53:55.840 spine ew i just want to get to know you i just want to get to know you blah blah blah like literally

00:53:59.380 would not listen to me no matter what i said so then i finally was like you don't want to get to

00:54:04.420 know me you want to sleep with me and that's not going to happen yeah so i swear to god if you don't

00:54:10.440 give this guy your address i'm opening that door and i'm kicking you out on the highway good i'm

00:54:14.700 letting you roll bitch so you decide how this ends yeah and then he was like oh i live at one two three

00:54:19.800 four immediately fast forward three four months later i got a new driver going somewhere totally

00:54:25.720 different and then he he hears me talking and he goes did i pick you up from this bar like three

00:54:31.280 four months ago i go i don't know weirdo right and then he goes no i remember because i picked you up

00:54:36.660 and you were with a girl and a guy and the guy was like harassing you he listened to that entire

00:54:41.720 conversation and he said he was thinking to himself because i was really drunk at the time yeah i was

00:54:46.320 over the age of 21 but you know he was said he was concerned that this guy was gonna try to take

00:54:50.520 advantage of me right and then because i was going no no like i was being nice yeah ish and then he

00:54:56.960 goes and then you like flipped out and i started screaming and then i said actually pull over pull

00:55:02.420 over right here yeah and he pulled over and i said get out and he got out and he was like oh can i get

00:55:07.200 your number i literally reached over and closed the door i said roll this window up go right and then

00:55:11.720 we took off and he goes i've never seen anything like that i was thinking like oh i'm probably gonna have

00:55:16.020 to save this girl and then you started screaming at him and it made me laugh and he said he remembered me

00:55:20.080 wow because of my voice i was like but that's my point like that's my point right there that's

00:55:25.600 the shit we have to do to survive was the uber driver a guy yeah it's also like why did if you

00:55:31.620 were so concerned why didn't you say anything like why and i literally said i'm like well you didn't

00:55:35.500 say anything almost the entire ride he goes well i just figured you know and then after it happened

00:55:39.500 he goes well i figured you had it covered see what i'm saying you guys don't do anything you want

00:55:43.900 to spout all day about protection and it's a man's job to protect is it is it because you sit there

00:55:49.100 you let you let your bros and everyone say the most disgusting thing and he was you watch your

00:55:54.320 friends assault other people in the club and you just sit there verbally abuse them emotionally abuse

00:56:00.200 them yeah yeah and you're and they and they sit there and they watch and then as soon as i lose it

00:56:05.280 it's too far and he literally was like guys calm down like you don't have to and it's the only reason

00:56:10.740 i lost it eventually was because it started getting progressively more disgusting right and then i was

00:56:15.380 like as soon as it hit a point i was like no we're done right and i lost it lost my mind and that's

00:56:21.940 fine and my friend was like laughing because she was she she had my back the whole time but again

00:56:26.760 we're both two women we're alone yeah at night like two in the morning and there's two other men in the

00:56:31.060 car one of them's the driver so it's one of those things where you they don't listen to anything but

00:56:36.920 force that's so true yeah that's so it just reminds me of the time like my friends and i went out to

00:56:42.860 eat at this restaurant in chicago and it's a fondue place i don't remember the name but if you're

00:56:47.580 watching you suck um and just like the whole staff was just like all over us just like like they

00:56:55.360 wouldn't leave us alone like the servers were sitting at our table eventually and then they

00:57:00.420 purposely wouldn't give us a check we got there at 8 p.m it was midnight by the time the check came

00:57:07.420 and it was already closed and then they were like oh like let's go to this club let's go to this club

00:57:12.300 like they took my friend's phone put an uber in like also i was like you're gonna you're making

00:57:17.320 her pay for the uber he's like you got it right and it was just like crazy and it was like everyone

00:57:22.280 working was watching this like and not saying anything not saying anything like they were just

00:57:27.100 letting these guys just harass you harass us and sit with us and like someone one of the guys was

00:57:33.000 like do you guys want coke and we were like what what like we're just trying to go out to dinner

00:57:38.020 we're just trying to like have a girl's night yeah and they just would not leave us alone like

00:57:42.820 one of them touched my friend's hair the other one like sat by me and like grabbed my knee it was

00:57:48.240 just like what the hell and like as much as i want to be like in those situations which a lot of times

00:57:52.740 i'm like stop it yeah it was just one of those moments where i was just like feeling vulnerable

00:57:56.500 paralyzed yeah i don't because like when you go somewhere you want to feel protected by the people

00:58:02.340 that are at least working yeah that are working and it was like nobody there cared and so it was

00:58:07.820 like after midnight we're the only ones there yeah we had to run out of the restaurant yeah because

00:58:13.940 you don't want to be followed and stuff yeah like the guy called the uber and he walked in the back

00:58:18.380 and we were like we have to go right now and we ran out got in the uber and we were like go

00:58:22.060 and like they came running out scary yeah and then they had asked for my friend's number and she was

00:58:28.220 just kind of like i don't like didn't know what to do yeah gave it to them and they were like calling

00:58:31.900 and texting like where you bitches at and it was like it's just crazy see what i mean like i had

00:58:39.220 like an interaction once with a dude at a gym he like would not leave me alone like every time i went

00:58:43.980 wouldn't leave me alone yeah constantly talked to me he saw my boyfriend one time work out with me

00:58:49.740 and then i would just go by myself typically and he always came at the same time as me and then he

00:58:54.480 started asking me a lot about him where is he at is he still in your life blah blah blah

00:58:58.140 and i'm like what do you care my what do you want to date him here's his number leave me alone

00:59:02.740 like so i started getting really annoyed and then one day he followed me out to my car and tried to

00:59:08.820 follow me home and that's when i was like i can't do this anymore so like and then it's and that's my

00:59:12.700 gym like where am i supposed to go i didn't have another gym at the time right so then i told my

00:59:17.140 boyfriend the story and he's like i'm gonna go with you tomorrow and so we go and i'm like you're not

00:59:21.740 gonna say anything right because i just didn't i didn't want it to escalate to anything right and he

00:59:25.900 was like no not at all and then we go and he sees him walks right up to him starts talking to him

00:59:30.720 immediately because he's angry and i you know yeah i if to be honest with you i'd never been

00:59:36.520 with a man who had done something like that yeah for me no like actually intervened and did something

00:59:41.300 about it and it got a little spicy but not really because as soon as he realized like my boyfriend is

00:59:46.820 like with the shits he was like okay okay right listen man i just don't even you know what i mean

00:59:51.800 like copped immediately like bitched out whatever but the point is that it didn't stop until he

00:59:58.420 intervened do you see what i'm saying like no matter how many times i told him to leave me alone

01:00:01.980 no matter how many times and i'm feeling vulnerable too because i go by myself and then i'm like what

01:00:05.720 if he follows me out to my car so i couldn't immediately this is on my my new phase of not

01:00:10.400 being an insane if someone harasses me so i'm trying to like keep it under wraps but it's harder

01:00:15.560 for me you just never know sanity you just never know like what they're gonna do and that's the

01:00:20.400 reason why i dialed it back in the first place yeah but then that's that's the situation where

01:00:24.400 i'm talking about like he didn't stop until a man intervened right that's horrible why do i why do i

01:00:29.920 need someone else to intervene on my behalf for you to take it seriously right and it's gross it's

01:00:35.220 always another man it doesn't matter who it is it doesn't matter at all yeah if a man comes and says

01:00:40.800 something oh i'll listen yeah even though even though i said even though i said multiple times i've been

01:00:48.500 i've been hit on before in public places where my boyfriend was with me but he wasn't next to me

01:00:52.480 yeah and then when he came back they're like oh sorry bro i didn't know right didn't apologize to me

01:00:57.640 apologize to him right like oh my bad i didn't know she was yours bro what are you on literally it

01:01:04.380 yeah they do not see you as a person exactly as an extension exactly of a man yeah exactly and it's

01:01:12.020 like they just really want to kiss the man and like a lot of a lot of these dudes i i wouldn't put

01:01:18.160 it past them with my boyfriend with my boyfriend specifically like some of them like that's why i

01:01:24.660 said it's it's like a this almost really intense like want like desire to be him yeah but then at

01:01:32.080 the same time they're they have like they don't have it in them to be disrespectful to him because

01:01:36.020 he's like an alpha right whatever that means to them whatever the hell that means but then all

01:01:42.940 that shit happens to us we have so many thousands of stories like that as many other people do and

01:01:47.900 then they wonder why we don't derive any confidence right you wonder why you're worthless to me in that

01:01:54.400 department right i don't need you for that you know what i mean exactly it's like we can we can get

01:01:59.120 angry and we can yell at them and that won't even matter because they're gonna keep doing it that's

01:02:03.040 what i'm like they provide like terrible men like that provide nothing to me no no but most

01:02:08.580 especially validation right like especially that god and they think it's such a compliment if they

01:02:14.920 like call you pretty or something and it's like honestly that's kind of the worst thing i've heard

01:02:17.900 today yeah like if a man like that calls me pretty i'm like oh man ruined my day now i gotta go home

01:02:23.620 and i gotta think about this like no maybe i gotta switch up my look you know what i mean like get a

01:02:28.520 new look entirely god damn it i didn't need that okay so just to wrap this up what do you want people

01:02:38.380 to know when it comes to confidence overall or whether it's in yourself and like who you want to

01:02:43.460 be where you're going what what have you i mean like i kind of said before confidence isn't easy

01:02:51.000 it's a journey you're not gonna achieve it overnight and even if you've been working on it for years and

01:02:56.020 years and years it's not always gonna be consistent yeah and that's okay yeah it's not a reason to get

01:03:02.000 down on yourself it's not a reason to feel like all that work was for nothing yeah there's days i feel

01:03:08.460 like that and i have to be like christy what the heck yeah you're fine and it's okay but like

01:03:14.920 there's nothing more freeing and beautiful and rewarding than just being yourself and living as

01:03:23.300 yourself and living yourself or living loving hello doesn't matter um like i that is where i

01:03:31.140 have found my most freedom is figuring out who chrissy is and loving every single bit of her

01:03:37.520 absolutely even the ones that aren't the best and even the parts of me i need to work on still

01:03:42.140 yeah like it's just having compassion i think absolutely and like it's okay to have compassion

01:03:48.020 it's okay to talk for yourself especially yeah it's okay to talk to yourself like you're talking

01:03:52.660 to your younger self oh my god i talk to that girl all the time i'm like i'm so sorry you went through

01:03:57.480 a lot and you didn't need to and that's okay and like she's still in you that that youngest version

01:04:03.580 of you is still there yeah and if it helps to like talk to them directly like even if you think it's

01:04:09.260 like silly yeah it's worth that absolutely and i say to that just to build off what you said when

01:04:17.100 it comes to like any sort of validation specifically when it comes from men nothing was more freeing to

01:04:22.540 me than letting that go oh god yeah when you when you leave your pick me phase we've all been a pick

01:04:27.500 me at one point some are still in there all right pray for you yeah pour one out they're gone you know

01:04:33.800 i mean but like it like we've all been a pick me at one point or another but freeing myself from the

01:04:40.580 validation of men yeah really let me love myself and become myself really because patriarchy and

01:04:47.400 misogyny is so much stronger and so much more rampant than you think yes and then when you unlearn a

01:04:53.000 bunch of shit that you beauty standards is one of them and that's another reason why you lack

01:04:57.440 self-confidence in the first place is because you're trying to adhere to a eurocentric beauty standard

01:05:01.940 you know what i'm saying so like that kind of stuff oh man that freed me it's the same reason

01:05:06.800 why i said like i don't argue with men who want to like debate me i'm not going to debate about my

01:05:11.700 existence but we're not doing that right that that kind of thing like you know arguing with them or

01:05:16.060 trying to that i've said before that stems from male validation yeah because you want them to see you

01:05:20.960 and understand you and hear you and empathize with you and they can't they're not going to and it

01:05:25.460 makes you upset and they they're choosing not to and they never will right so when you unlearn that and

01:05:30.700 you unpack that you're like they're not going to hear me no matter what i say so instead i'm going

01:05:34.520 to tell you to eat my ass that's way more effective efficient if you will right they listen to and they

01:05:40.160 get mad and then you block them exactly there you go letting go of that just letting go let it go

01:05:46.760 the perception of men and what they think and god like everything like nothing has been more freeing

01:05:53.080 nothing has felt better yeah embracing your you can really like come into who you really want to be

01:05:58.520 right when you let that go because because that's it's not just in like in beauty standards it's in

01:06:04.460 like the workplace it's in your education it's in all kinds it's in every different field like

01:06:09.360 misogyny and patriarchy yeah do you let that go oh man freeing you can fly you can look at me and

01:06:15.260 chrissy we're doing it right now look at us just do it for yourself just do it for yourself

01:06:20.680 nobody else you deserve it you deserve it that's what i'm saying yeah so i want to thank

01:06:26.060 the wonderful amazing chrissy i adore you forever i love you so much seriously chrissy's

01:06:31.540 just as pretty in real life as she is on camera that's facts babe stop it keep going see confidence

01:06:38.980 i love you so much you can get your validation from me that's fine right boom i and i will get

01:06:45.020 it from you i'll be like hey true what do you think of my outfit today and i'll answer it fire

01:06:50.420 without even seeing it i know it's fire stop it so i want everyone to make sure you go follow

01:06:55.120 chrissy on all platforms where can everybody find you all of it instagram twitter tiktok what's next

01:07:02.520 tiktok youtube oh and spotify soon love yeah do you i was gonna say do you have any other any

01:07:10.040 projects or anything you want to promote yeah um so i am working on my pop star era and my music

01:07:16.680 career and it's just another thing that is so fulfilling to myself and my inner child because

01:07:21.440 that is my main goal yeah and my single is coming out in a couple months and i can't wait to share it

01:07:28.640 with you guys it's super cutesy and gay and everything you would expect from me so absolutely

01:07:35.580 love oh i'm so happy for you thanks chrissy's truly a star like i'm i'm so excited for her to be in her

01:07:41.580 pop star era that's where she's meant to be love and i'm ready absolutely adore you thank you everyone

01:07:46.900 for watching this episode make sure you go follow chrissy on all her platforms make sure you stream

01:07:50.360 her music when it comes out i will be the first to do it as well and if you enjoyed this episode of

01:07:55.040 the comment section make sure you stream new episodes every wednesday they come out on the

01:07:58.940 past your bedtime youtube channel you can subscribe there and you can also stream it on all streaming

01:08:03.340 platforms like spotify where chrissy's single will be so make sure you guys tune in make sure you

01:08:09.400 follow chrissy thank you so much for joining me today absolutely love you and i'll see you next week bye

01:08:14.240 bye

IF CONFIDENCE SCARES YOU： BOO! ｜ Drew Afualo ft. Chrissy Chlapecka ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 36

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