The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - LOW-GRADE HORNY Ft. Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick ｜ Episode 243

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad.

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00:00:51.980 You'll be like, oh, nice to meet you. 1.00

00:00:53.200 They'll be like, oh, okay, stupid. 1.00

00:00:55.700 And then you're like, what? 1.00

00:00:56.340 and then they're like oh oh let me guess you're a comedian who can you can dish it out but you

00:00:59.820 can't take it every time every mover i've ever been in they're just they're just insulting you

00:01:04.280 always and i'm like we haven't done any jokes yet we're just meeting or are we starting now

00:01:10.040 but yeah it's always kind of like oh you can't take it

00:01:13.200 hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show sorry

00:01:26.220 me your fave everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guest today we have an iconic all-star

00:01:32.780 my favorite couple personally kendall and jordan we're so excited to be here oh my god welcome

00:01:39.900 back my favorite newlyweds thank you so much oh my gosh we're both newlyweds low-key earth can be

00:01:45.580 a lot the economy the discourse the grocery prices that feel like personal attacks

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00:02:09.940 And it's all free.

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00:02:19.160 The best things on TV are free.

00:02:21.320 escape to Pluto TV

00:02:23.580 stream now pay never

00:02:25.880 I was about to say and if we can

00:02:27.520 start with a surprise for you

00:02:29.300 we brought you a gift

00:02:30.540 you just got married it was just your birthday we have a little something for you

00:02:33.200 oh love to know 1.00

00:02:34.580 see one thing about lesbians 1.00

00:02:37.260 they're always going to have something to give me 1.00

00:02:38.920 every time I meet whether it's a crystal or anything

00:02:41.440 in between

00:02:41.900 it's wrapped so cute

00:02:44.560 she's so good at that kind of stuff

00:02:46.800 I am so sorry that I'm dressed this way as I open this gift

00:02:49.140 no this is what was intended for it

00:02:51.060 Oh my goodness. 0.99

00:02:52.220 No fucking way. 0.99

00:02:54.980 It's a Hobbs and Shaw Funko Pop. 1.00

00:02:58.060 Our favorite movie.

00:02:59.300 Our favorite movie.

00:03:00.160 We talked about it so much last time.

00:03:02.140 And then I was like, you know what?

00:03:03.400 What do you get the woman that has everything? 0.99

00:03:06.420 I tried to get you the duo. 1.00

00:03:08.580 The people kept canceling my Mercari orders.

00:03:10.640 They would not send me the duo.

00:03:12.040 I could only get the Hobbs, not the Shaw.

00:03:14.600 Well, and then when it came.

00:03:15.920 It came and the box was all ripped up.

00:03:17.460 That was not how the picture was. 0.51

00:03:18.780 honestly this is so fucking funny and if you can believe i actually have funko pops from other like 0.54

00:03:26.620 there were they were gifts but like they're from other like really funny times in my life so this 0.87

00:03:30.900 is so fucking but you don't have this one no i don't but i do have black adam so technically 0.85

00:03:35.320 that was the rock so i have the other one you gotta get all the rock punk about you know me 0.98

00:03:40.060 i do pr for him on my off days yeah yeah i moonlight as his assistant oh my god thank you

00:03:46.260 guys of course congratulations thank you if you take anything into your marriage let it be that

00:03:53.320 yeah let it be this Hobbes Funko yeah yeah yeah oh my gosh the sweetest people ever thank you so

00:03:59.020 much I love that and I also feel the need to mention I am just so you guys know I am King

00:04:04.400 George that's my that's my costume for today now the reason why I'm glad you asked it's because

00:04:10.620 when I was younger I had to do this thing called the wax museum project when I was in fifth grade

00:04:14.840 and you had to pick someone that you admire in history and you literally had to like do drag as

00:04:21.100 them essentially but you had to write like an essay and all this stuff and i picked king george

00:04:24.860 the third now you're probably asking you admire him no of course not uh when i was a kid i had

00:04:29.820 like a really weird fixation on the english monarchy and king george the third is like

00:04:35.140 arguably one of the worst kings in british monarch history in unpacking and looking back i think i

00:04:40.520 obsessed with him because i'm like wow all that privilege all that wealth squandered you really

00:04:46.460 got a layup of a century and you really boofed it yeah yeah but he ruled for a long time and i

00:04:50.960 remember i did a whole thing on him and my teacher was like i think she should pick someone else like

00:04:55.840 like called my mom and my mom was like is it against the rules yeah and she was like well no 0.92

00:05:00.600 and then my mom was like well then let her do it who's the fuck so i literally was the only girl 0.99

00:05:04.560 who genderbend i was the only one who cross-dressed love and i talked in a british accent all fucking 0.96

00:05:09.620 day which i'm sure was perfect yes it was flawless and also not required in any way shape or form 0.64

00:05:14.360 but at the end of the day i am a performer so this is actually laura's idea laura was like you should

00:05:18.840 be king george it's a full circle your teacher's gonna see footage of this and be like god she's

00:05:25.260 so obsessed she's still carrying that bit from over 20 years ago and also i have to say to these 0.96

00:05:32.960 these pants do not fit me i did not try on the costume prior to filming so carrie had to cut a

00:05:39.120 big old hole in the back in their prop pants yeah at this point I can't cross my legs and I can't

00:05:44.140 move god willing the fire alarm doesn't go off I'm in trouble yeah somebody grab a robe well

00:05:49.640 these pants will be staying in here yeah they'll be left behind remember when I abandoned you in

00:05:54.640 that movie theater oh my god Kendall and I and a bunch of our friends I think our producer Kate

00:05:59.160 was there we went to see the new Candyman movie okay because the original one's one of my favorite

00:06:03.640 movies and we went to see it and there's a big row of us sitting in the back of the AMC6 0.99

00:06:08.760 and amca list of course yes of course so the all lesbians yes of course and so the alarm goes off 1.00

00:06:17.500 for i mean one second it's done one wii u and that's it kendall gets up and runs out of the 1.00

00:06:26.200 theater no shoes on for some reason she'd taken off her shoes during she definitely came there 1.00

00:06:30.720 in shoes yeah she had shoes on at one point and she got up and she ran out of the theater and

00:06:36.700 then after one or two of the alarm sounds they turned it off and she had to slowly walk back

00:06:43.260 into the theater and up the stairs I was with no shoes on hey after having left me yeah I know

00:06:51.440 you said I went to go get help yeah for us exactly you know she's like going across everyone to get

00:06:57.520 back to us in the center aisle and then she's like I'm so sorry I thought there was an active shooter

00:07:02.120 And I'm like, that's actually not an excuse to leave me in the conversation.

00:07:05.120 So that's actually worse given the context.

00:07:07.040 It's actually kind of worse now.

00:07:08.540 Yeah.

00:07:08.760 Yeah.

00:07:09.300 And I just, I realized, I think I wish, I really wish I was someone who had good survival instincts.

00:07:14.300 But I've learned through a couple moments in my life, the second I think I might die, I accept it way too quick.

00:07:21.220 You're just like, well.

00:07:22.440 Anytime.

00:07:23.000 We've been on planes where there's a bit of turbulence and I fully have accepted.

00:07:26.900 I'm not even anxious.

00:07:27.680 I'm just like, this is the end.

00:07:29.180 That's fair.

00:07:30.180 That's real.

00:07:30.580 I'm running out of a theater to run toward the act of shooting. 0.57

00:07:33.800 Take me, and my wife's in there.

00:07:35.460 I was like, hey, I'll save you some time.

00:07:37.180 I'm right here.

00:07:37.980 I'll give you a free one.

00:07:42.260 Well, how have you guys been?

00:07:43.760 How's it been since the last time we gushed about Hobbs and Shaw?

00:07:46.640 Oh, my gosh.

00:07:47.580 What have we been up to?

00:07:48.440 Well, you've been...

00:07:49.480 Jordan, poor Jordan.

00:07:50.500 Can I say what's going on with you?

00:07:51.740 I'll let you say it. 0.93

00:07:52.380 Getting her gallbladder removed. 1.00

00:07:53.920 Dang.

00:07:54.300 I'm sick as a dog.

00:07:55.240 It's been months.

00:07:55.780 Oh, no.

00:07:56.780 Out of the hospital.

00:07:57.380 All these things.

00:07:58.560 For, of course, the first day I went to the doctor, I was like, 0.99

00:08:00.100 i think my gallbladder's messed up they were like no stupid bitch and i was like okay and then now 0.98

00:08:05.300 you know six months later and they're like oh it's your gallbladder you have to have it removed so i'm 0.97

00:08:07.920 getting it removed on the 16th and i'm very excited that's kind of one of my things of big

00:08:13.640 news but we really tried i'm excited for you we tried to get it together for a big costume for

00:08:17.180 this but it's all right you know we did two halloween shirts and that you know what is more

00:08:21.720 than enough that's more than enough but you know i i never pressure anyone to dress up because i'm

00:08:26.180 Like, I'm going to look a mess, but it's up to you guys.

00:08:28.840 No, you look incredible, and I wish you were wearing the exact same costume as you.

00:08:32.160 Imagine.

00:08:32.660 So next time we come on, we'll all be dressed exactly the same.

00:08:35.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:35.860 In this exact costume.

00:08:36.440 So no one gets us confused anymore.

00:08:37.660 Yes, exactly.

00:08:38.080 I'm so tired of that.

00:08:38.780 I'm so sick of that.

00:08:39.440 It really is.

00:08:39.920 They have to stop asking young children to pick their favorite person from history.

00:08:44.220 Like, it's too loaded.

00:08:45.060 I'm telling you.

00:08:45.260 Because I had to give a speech similarly.

00:08:47.260 I was supposed to give a speech on my favorite person in history when I was a kid, and I

00:08:50.620 picked Abraham Lincoln.

00:08:53.020 Literally what?

00:08:53.700 and i'm just like that's the only person from history i knew imagine you said well that was

00:08:58.060 my first gay representation yeah so that's why i felt drawn to him exactly yeah well i know you're

00:09:05.420 also writing a novel that's what i am okay fiction lady i got a two book deal right look at you

00:09:12.020 congratulations everyone give her a hand oh my god so exciting how's that been it's been incredible

00:09:18.720 it is like you know writing porn can i let's talk about it because i'm writing fiction books

00:09:26.780 right now too oh really yes girl i'm i sold my books last year i'm doing like romantic to see

00:09:31.700 like but i'm basing it off like polynesian like lore oh mythical legend and lore oh yeah is it

00:09:37.660 sexy yes there's definitely smut in it because i'm grown up yeah because i'm a grown up every

00:09:41.680 time i read a book and they say that there's it's like ya kind of smut so it's just like they pan 0.99

00:09:45.980 to the fireplace i get pissed off i i'm a grown-up kiss right now what the fuck exactly when i started 0.92

00:09:51.460 writing i said i i want to write a book i would read and exactly i'm not gonna read a book that 0.98

00:09:56.480 doesn't have smut in it why i'm an adult like it makes me feel and i actually think i'm judgmental

00:10:02.420 sometimes when there's a fade to black scene i'm like to the author i'm like grow up yeah grow up

00:10:06.840 grow up i'm trying to see something but it is really have you gotten to writing those sex i've

00:10:11.280 i've just started i've done like a tiny bit where it's more so like sexual tension and like making 0.67

00:10:16.520 out like heavy petting that's what they call it yeah heavy petting um so i've done those and even 0.94

00:10:22.120 that it's a little hard it's an i feel like the creepiest pervert in the world yeah sitting there

00:10:27.380 on my laptop thinking hmm i feel like that um you ever seen 10 things i hate about you yeah you know 0.96

00:10:32.060 the where the principal's writing like smut in her office and she's like bulge that's how i feel

00:10:38.100 yes well it's so hard because it's such a mental game because you start writing it

00:10:43.720 and then i'm sorry i know you're your mom's here that's all right she's heard worse

00:10:47.280 but you get a little horny because you're writing it and then you're like okay well

00:10:52.960 that i can't relate to you okay then you gotta let you know if i get there i'll let you know 1.00

00:10:57.000 if i get there i haven't gotten there yet you should be horny i will say kendall is a sexual 1.00

00:11:01.900 machine she is built unlike anyone else i've ever met a sexual machine of course i'm writing 1.00

00:11:07.640 I'm getting horned up so I say all right I know I'm cooking with gas here this is good but then

00:11:12.560 you gotta keep you can't fix it you're like I gotta I gotta stay in this right right you're

00:11:16.900 horny low grade horny nine hours of the day but you can't fix it because then what will you do

00:11:23.880 right and then you come back the next day to write your resume said horniness you read what

00:11:29.380 you wrote before and you actually want to call the police because reading your eye was in heat

00:11:35.720 when I wrote this.

00:11:36.560 Exactly.

00:11:37.380 Do you know when you,

00:11:38.580 and I'm so sorry to your mother.

00:11:40.520 It's all right, no worries. 1.00

00:11:41.500 You want, okay, you're masturbating. 0.94

00:11:44.340 I don't know if you talk about this stuff on the show, 1.00

00:11:46.180 but women's health, I'm sorry. 1.00

00:11:48.780 Oh yeah, women's health, sorry.

00:11:50.620 This is a G-rated podcast. 0.99

00:11:51.780 You're masturbating and then you, 0.99

00:11:54.780 something happens and you orgasm. 1.00

00:11:56.740 And then the porn you're watching, 0.99

00:11:58.320 you're like, something happens and then you orgasm. 0.97

00:12:00.660 Something happens. 0.59

00:12:01.760 That is the orgasm.

00:12:02.760 That is the orgasm. 0.98

00:12:03.600 Said orgasm. 1.00

00:12:04.440 Masturbating you you're watching any side orgy. Yeah, don't call me out like that 1.00

00:12:12.200 One time you saw that I googled that one time and then I keep clicking on it over and over

00:12:17.320 Oh, Jesus and the second you come you go. Oh my god

00:12:25.560 Sick and that's exactly when you go back to read what you wrote even when I when you think about things you say like in active 0.98

00:12:31.580 whether you're masturbating or in active sex yeah and then afterwards you're like i don't know who 0.99

00:12:36.060 the fuck that was i just that was the devil the devil took over me sometimes have you ever said 0.99

00:12:41.640 something kind of on accident you know what i mean you say it and it's not something you ever 1.00

00:12:45.600 said before and then you're like that's crazy that i said that i'll put you on blast now can i

00:12:49.840 i'm so scared because i don't know what it is at all clearly i was just well you can say it then 0.52

00:12:56.540 we can cut it afterwards if you want okay one time uh during sex kendall said um i love that 0.99

00:13:03.280 big pussy to me um i forgot and i was like horrible that was the worst thing 1.00

00:13:10.820 excuse i love that big wolf pussy i love that big big in what way 1.00

00:13:17.520 what are you talking about spirit yeah big in energy big in energy yeah big in 0.99

00:13:23.800 But I was like, what are you, you know, and I was actually really respectful, really cool in the moment.

00:13:27.120 I said, I'm not going to say anything.

00:13:28.400 No, that's like a post-mortem.

00:13:30.960 That's like a, hey, so let's talk about.

00:13:32.520 We had to have a talk about it after.

00:13:33.500 Let's do a performance review.

00:13:34.560 Yes.

00:13:34.860 What did you love and what did I hate?

00:13:36.240 I'll start. 1.00

00:13:36.740 I hated Big Pussy. 1.00

00:13:37.640 Yeah, I was confused by Big Pussy. 1.00

00:13:39.500 You didn't hate Big Pussy. 1.00

00:13:41.280 You said you noticed Big Pussy. 1.00

00:13:43.760 I noticed it. 1.00

00:13:44.600 I certainly noticed it.

00:13:45.580 It just felt, it gave me more questions than answers is what I'll say about it.

00:13:49.740 So what did you mean by Big?

00:13:51.920 Yeah.

00:13:52.480 Yeah.

00:13:52.880 and I didn't have any it just kind of just came out I was just doing free flow free association

00:13:57.440 yeah I thought we were just like word associate yeah we're just we're experimenting with new

00:14:01.620 adjectives yeah kind of though they're doing you know freestyle slam poetry basically whatever

00:14:06.180 comes to her mind I do talk too much I talk too much I just really let it you're a big talker

00:14:10.860 oh my god yeah I don't have the vocabulary for it I'll tell you that well sometimes I it's like

00:14:16.840 I'm not even there I'm like she's up there she's just kind of giving a speech I'm like I don't

00:14:21.520 but that's fine but it's a performance well she liked abe lincoln is a gettysburg address 0.99

00:14:25.580 that's the type of shit she's dealing the pussy'sburg address she said 1.00

00:14:29.300 big pussy address yes exactly okay so you're you're but the zombie books are going well 1.00

00:14:37.340 oh they're going wonderfully and amazing i mean it's the most stressful thing i've ever done but 0.96

00:14:41.700 it is it's incredible it's so fun i mean i'm not saying my book is incredible it is incredible

00:14:47.260 I'm sure it's incredible.

00:14:49.400 It's been very fun and I'm very excited about it.

00:14:51.500 And even Dace has told me she's taken a lot of book recommendations from you as well.

00:14:55.220 Because all the books you like to read are sapphic.

00:14:56.600 Which she was like, yeah.

00:14:58.020 Because she doesn't like the ones I read because she's like, too many straight people.

00:15:01.180 And every time I tell her, oh, I'm really loving this book. 1.00

00:15:03.380 She's like, is there anything gay in it? 0.97

00:15:05.180 And I'm like, unfortunately, no. 1.00

00:15:06.300 She's like, forget it then.

00:15:07.760 What's the point?

00:15:08.520 The way I intake media is so sad because I refuse. 1.00

00:15:13.340 I can't hold interest on anything that doesn't have gay people in it. 0.99

00:15:16.320 lesbian specifically she's the same but there's so little that pretty much the only shows i watch

00:15:21.640 are shows i do not really like but i'm just like pushing through to get to the kissing scenes and

00:15:27.900 then there's shows that i know i'll hate so much that all i do is watch clips on youtube of like

00:15:32.240 the kissing compilation you're so sick all kisses season one yeah and i know because that's what

00:15:39.920 i've done before too as well i do want to say too um i just saw jordan a clip of y'all on your

00:15:46.500 podcast when you were talking about the health care system oh my god like you go to the doctor

00:15:52.040 i think something's wrong with me do you want to tell the joke i i think it was really funny

00:15:55.980 it's just like you know you go to the doctor and the joke it's just her life it's literally you

00:16:01.120 just off the dome and it made me laugh so hard i favorited it it's just like you know you go to

00:16:06.160 the doctor and they're like why are you here and you're like i think like something's wrong i'm 1.00

00:16:09.040 sick and they're like you're sick and you came to the doctor you're so fucking stupid like what's 1.00

00:16:13.080 wrong with you why are you here you're an idiot like what do you mean you're at the doctor but 1.00

00:16:16.240 then if you don't go to the doctor and then you you know whatever something happens you have to 1.00

00:16:19.260 go to the er right like why didn't you go to the doctor six months ago we're gonna shoot you with 0.78

00:16:22.280 a gun it's just like there's no you can't do anything right in the american medical system 1.00

00:16:27.360 there's no winning and everything you do they act like you're so stupid and kennel and i talk 0.99

00:16:31.540 about this all the time but i feel like we're constantly asking people especially in a medical 1.00

00:16:35.760 setting questions that they will act like they've never not only never heard the question but never

00:16:40.760 heard any of the words in the question individually ever in their life literally nowadays you go to

00:16:46.980 any store and you're like where's the bathroom and it's a person who looks like they were pulled

00:16:51.580 off the street and thrown into a uniform and they're like bathroom um bathroom i don't know

00:16:57.980 no tubs here i said no like a bathroom with a toilet they're like a toilet a toilet a toilet

00:17:02.600 I know in the clip you're like you call someone you're like I'd like to make an appointment

00:17:08.220 and they're like appointment now what is that literally an appointment like what anything is

00:17:12.580 and I think half the time you're talking to AI so I think that's like what the problem is and we 0.98

00:17:16.180 cannot get disturbed by that shit all the time oh my god our poor producer Kate is always having 0.98

00:17:19.880 to be like that pictures AI that phone calls AI it's now getting to a point though where it is 0.99

00:17:24.520 hard to tell which is the scary part like before when it was like everyone had seven fingers you're

00:17:29.560 like okay obviously this is AI now though it's like gotten to a point where I'm like okay I need

00:17:33.900 to like I'm feeling like a boomer when I always gammed at a thousands of dollars 100 and I always

00:17:38.680 struggled I was sending you stuff that was I remember the member of the sandcastle oh my god

00:17:42.940 Kendall sent me this hotel it was a video of a hotel this was like this was like a year ago so

00:17:47.100 it was very clearly AI it was the text on it was like the world's only sandcastle hotel fully made 1.00

00:17:53.400 of sand right on the beach you have to take me here i said sorry i love you you're stupid 0.99

00:18:02.020 when you guys are an old couple like you're gonna have to watch her phone activity oh my she's gonna 1.00

00:18:09.780 get stamped by a nigerian prince when we hit 45 we're going into a home and they're taking their 1.00

00:18:13.880 technology like we are just trying to make enough money to get to a level where we can be put in a 0.99

00:18:18.560 nice facility and a nice care facility yeah because we need it well tell i i'd love to know

00:18:25.280 how's the podcast going how's everything i love your podcast that was one of my favorite ones

00:18:28.740 i've gone on we always love you doing anything and we're so happy that we've had you on the

00:18:32.860 podcast and yeah it's going well we're going on tour in 2020 oh my gosh how exciting really

00:18:38.320 exciting do you all like tour have you toured before well i feel like you have jordan loves

00:18:42.940 to tour i tour still regularly i was gonna improv and all kinds of stuff it's like one of my big

00:18:47.340 you know sources of income so i tour all the time and i love it i'm built for it touring with the

00:18:51.040 upright citizens brigade is my first job out of college so i've been doing it for forever i love

00:18:56.140 it kendall hates it i hate it i don't get a little nauseous if i i don't like being like on the plane

00:19:01.760 and off the plane and i just don't i like my routine i i don't know it's just a lot for me i 0.69

00:19:07.580 get really sick and i feel like i break out and um so i hate it but i'm looking forward to it i'm

00:19:13.680 looking forward to you're so me i do i i feel the same way about tour the physical act of touring

00:19:18.440 but i do like performing in other places like that's always fun yeah once i'm on the stage

00:19:23.560 it's oh it's the getting there that is like a task and a half but i really struggle i'm really

00:19:28.560 similar to my nephew he's four but i like he we have like the same routine where it's like okay

00:19:33.600 i wake up at the exact same time and jordan hands me an uncrustable and then i eat my uncrustable

00:19:38.180 and then i go and i do the exact everything is so the same i have the same lunch every day this

00:19:43.620 dinner every day right i use the bathroom at the same time you know what i mean i just i don't like

00:19:48.080 stuff change i'm not a big fan of change no i guess is my problem yeah yeah i feel the same

00:19:53.900 way especially about tour when we went on a like nationwide tour for my book and like we did like

00:19:59.020 22 cities like 22 dates that was like hell on earth for me uh performing was awesome but i i

00:20:05.260 did say like i felt like i was on the run the whole time i just like only could change my

00:20:08.800 underwear and wipe all the surfaces that's all i was allowed to do and then i'd wake up in a new

00:20:12.400 I'm like ugh, but then when I would get on stage,

00:20:14.780 I'd feel like awesome and I love to perform.

00:20:16.960 But glam was starting to get to a point

00:20:19.700 where I was like ugh,

00:20:20.740 cause like my hair and makeup artist glammed 0.95

00:20:22.580 both me and my sister.

00:20:23.840 And I remember like, he would be like, okay yeah,

00:20:26.100 like let's start glam, we'd have to start one of us.

00:20:28.880 And then I'd be like, Daisy, you go first.

00:20:30.520 You go first.

00:20:31.360 And then she was like, okay.

00:20:32.520 Like, and then I started feeling like a little kid

00:20:34.500 getting a haircut.

00:20:35.340 Like every time I was getting my makeup,

00:20:37.480 I felt like, look at that.

00:20:39.620 And I would be like, whatever's fastest,

00:20:40.820 whatever's fastest, I don't care.

00:20:41.900 Whatever's fastest.

00:20:42.900 Me acting like I'm being tortured when you're wearing makeup.

00:20:45.900 But it's hard.

00:20:46.900 I mean, you have to have that.

00:20:47.900 I don't think people realize.

00:20:48.900 Yeah.

00:20:49.900 Because I don't really wear makeup at all when I'm not working.

00:20:50.900 Yeah.

00:20:51.900 And I think people realize how much makeup you have to have on.

00:20:54.900 Oh my god.

00:20:55.900 When you're on stage, but especially on camera. 1.00

00:20:57.900 No dead ass. 0.99

00:20:58.900 Like, for real. 1.00

00:20:59.900 If you are not contoured to the gods, you look like a fucking potato on camera. 1.00

00:21:02.900 Yeah, you'll look like flat as hell. 1.00

00:21:04.900 It is crazy.

00:21:05.900 You'll look 2D.

00:21:06.900 Yeah, so I'm like, I'm not putting anything on my face or body.

00:21:09.900 I'm not working.

00:21:10.900 Right. Because even when I first did this show ever, we did like a test rehearsal thing. So I

00:21:16.080 had to go and like we tried camera setups. We tried like the chairs and everything, like did

00:21:20.140 a whole day of shooting. And then I did like the artwork and all that. And I remember before,

00:21:25.260 like on our way to the studio, my mom was like, are you going to hire a hair and makeup artist

00:21:28.520 for the show? And I go, I mean, I'm pretty good at my hair and makeup. Like I can do it myself.

00:21:32.020 And then we went, I was on these kinds of cameras all fucking day. Then at the end of the day, 0.98

00:21:35.780 my mom goes i think you should hire someone and she was right and she was right and then i go

00:21:41.380 damn you think and then i go and i watch the footage i said yeah i need to yeah well i love

00:21:46.400 when i see something you know because we don't get professional glam most of the time unless 0.98

00:21:50.140 we're actually shooting like a tv like something yeah like whatever big time yeah yeah just because

00:21:53.760 we're like you know we're we're cheap but so like it is expensive it's so expensive and i will see

00:21:58.960 comments about you know either one of us where it's like we'll be in something where we have

00:22:03.400 full gram and they'll be like wait like jordan is glowing wait jordan is having a massive glow up

00:22:09.680 right now and then like two days later something will come out of me where i look normal like

00:22:14.500 myself i don't have that much makeup on and i'll be like what happened oh my god are you okay

00:22:19.180 on her i'm like yeah it's professional makeup well yes it's gonna alter how i look kind of 0.66

00:22:26.160 yes well yes it's a gay man doing the sistine chapel on my face yeah i know and i got lucky

00:22:32.860 with adam because adam is like my cousin and then i hired him early on so like and he can do both

00:22:38.320 which is rare yeah but the few before i brought him on full time though i would like sometimes

00:22:42.480 he wouldn't be available so i'd have to like hire someone else and when i would look oh my god what

00:22:46.800 they charge even to just do hair i like really got lucky with him doing both because most people

00:22:51.960 have to hire two and like it's expensive oh my gosh did you and i'm like i just want to look

00:22:58.340 presentable on camera whatever i was like i guess i can do it we got to change these cameras

00:23:02.340 we're there's too many d's on these cameras yeah we got to do we got to do iphones

00:23:06.760 you got you all got to film me off iphones and even that camera is getting too getting too strong

00:23:11.900 now let me start it i just told this story uh on the last episode but i'll tell you guys again

00:23:16.360 please recently i was on facetime with dason and i was like bitching about something i was complaining

00:23:21.180 i was like oh my god it's so annoying and she's like listening to me and she's like yeah she's

00:23:25.440 doing something i'm doing something and i just got out of the shower so i had a towel on and then i

00:23:29.640 was about to take my towel off to like lotion up but then when i saw the camera i was like oh my

00:23:33.440 god i'm on facetime so i tilted it upwards and then i took off my towel i'm still talking i hang

00:23:37.860 it i go back i forgot about that face tracking shit on the new updated thing so it tracked my 0.96

00:23:42.800 face both my tits out i'm standing there at the counter going yeah and then i'm like talking and 0.97

00:23:47.620 then bouncing yeah literally with with emphasis yeah and then dace like goes off camera and then 0.98

00:23:53.260 she goes hey dude and i go oh my god i know oh my god oh my god i like just looked at myself i was

00:23:57.980 like oh my god oh my god and then i was so humiliated i forgot what i was mad about are

00:24:03.120 you not a naked family i'm not it's so funny you bring that up it's so funny that shocks me because

00:24:08.360 dason literally was telling my mom the other day she was like well and also drew like she's not a

00:24:12.960 nakey girl like I'm a nakey girl like I don't care yeah she is is your mom no I mean yes and

00:24:18.440 not really medium okay you asked me to take off all my clothes right now she's hoping you do 0.59

00:24:23.660 she's actually yeah I love being naked yeah she loves it I don't I I don't know what it is I got 0.76

00:24:30.720 I honestly and don't diagnose me because I know one of you's going to I stop it I got real weird

00:24:36.660 about nudity like as a child I just like really I'm like only I want to see it like but even

00:24:42.920 And then I told Jason this the other day, I'm like, did I ever tell you when I was a kid, like after puberty, whenever I would get in the shower, I would get completely nude and I would never look at myself in the mirror.

00:24:52.100 Almost like I was going to turn to stone.

00:24:53.440 I don't know what I was afraid of, but like, I was just like, I'm just not going to look.

00:24:56.420 I'm just not going to look.

00:24:57.300 I just like never, ever looked at myself until I was probably like 17.

00:25:01.240 Until you're on that FaceTime.

00:25:02.380 And I said, oh my God, I'm beautiful.

00:25:06.800 I mean, I know there is a certain level of kind of like self-realization you can have when you see yourself fully naked.

00:25:12.300 i will never forget one time i came home from something i was wearing like a dress or whatever

00:25:16.060 i was living in new york so it was like so hot i like took off my dress took off and then

00:25:20.080 i caught like a side angle of myself in a like full mirror that i had hanging on the back of my

00:25:25.840 door fully nude all i was wearing was a fitbit and sneakers with socks from the side why was

00:25:32.000 your dress off before your shoes i think i was just so hot that i was like i'm ripping this thing

00:25:35.800 off like i don't even know how it happened it just because i'm also a shoes off at the front

00:25:39.700 door kind of guy so something had happened in this situation where I was like I'm not okay I need to

00:25:44.200 get undressed immediately but yeah just caught this angle of myself and I was like if I I'm

00:25:49.240 beautiful if I ever see this exact image again I will be forced to end my own life it was haunted

00:25:55.760 and that's on y'all yeah it was haunted it was wrong I shouldn't have seen it oh yeah we were

00:26:01.940 in a naked house I feel like you were freaked out the first time you came over and I was walking 0.98

00:26:05.740 around in my underwear in front of my dad and you're like this is shit i don't know what it's 1.00

00:26:11.180 my dad your dad wants to have sex with you and it's not like my it's not like i've never been 0.99

00:26:15.560 in my underwear around my dad i just think i don't know i don't know i don't have an answer 0.99

00:26:21.160 rest in peace your dad i don't have an answer yeah i honestly feel uh similar to that i felt

00:26:26.400 like even when i went to college i remember dason told me this story when she went to freshman

00:26:31.700 orientation she got roomed randomly with this girl like when they were just learning about the school

00:26:36.580 and she said yeah i was like she was kind of talking to me and i was like my back was facing

00:26:40.500 higher and then when i turned around she turned around and she was standing there completely

00:26:43.460 topless and she had just met her like seconds before that so she was when she told me that

00:26:48.340 story i was like oh they're not gonna get me so then when i went to college when i went to college

00:26:55.780 and i was like if i have a roommate that's inappropriate and i'm also like just for

00:26:59.220 cultural context like I'm someone so like nudity is not a bad thing necessarily but like it is a

00:27:04.400 thing to be like somewhat covered especially around elders like in certain cultural situations

00:27:09.000 like even boys and girls are not allowed to like sleep in the same rooms like when we have like

00:27:12.800 summer parties and stuff like that so it's like it that's also a cultural context that I think I

00:27:16.920 was leaning into a little bit but when I went to college my my college roommate my freshman year

00:27:21.760 who's still my friend to the stage she was actually at my wedding I told her like when we first met 1.00

00:27:26.000 she was like oh let's go get lunch i'm like awesome she's so like sexually free and she's 0.99

00:27:30.260 also a naked girl like she loves to be naked as soon as we sat down she's like do you want to 0.99

00:27:34.300 talk about like living together i go yeah awesome i hate nudity so i like immediately was like so 0.99

00:27:38.720 don't you ever yeah so don't you ever fucking think about that the clothes you're wearing now 0.64

00:27:42.220 get used to the clothes you're wearing now and then she to this day she still laughs because 0.99

00:27:46.260 she told me when you said that to me i remember thinking oh fuck i've been sleeping naked this 0.95

00:27:49.840 whole time all right i gotta work on that and that's why i said and that's why i said something 0.89

00:27:53.480 yeah imagine that's true but i will say it's more common than you think because i had the exact same

00:27:58.380 situation where i got to my room and my roommate esther still love her to this day she her thing 1.00

00:28:06.460 was she was always lotioning herself no matter what she came out of the shower naked or in a 1.00

00:28:11.820 leopard print lace thong and she was lotioning herself it did not matter if my college boyfriend 0.94

00:28:16.300 was in the room it did not matter if my mom was visiting i would have a gaggle of gay guys for my

00:28:20.560 theater program in there esther's just squirt squirt how are you guys doing here or what are

00:28:26.160 you guys doing why are you listening so often and she was i'll tell you what she was never dry

00:28:30.200 never ashy esther was never ashy yeah i don't know i was real weird about that's why when i

00:28:37.260 was telling the my boobs on facetime candles all that's a bad thing yeah all right next time i

00:28:42.840 at least then I'll put mine away.

00:28:48.040 So anyways, what I would love to know,

00:28:50.740 what's next for you guys?

00:28:51.840 Obviously book, tour, anything else exciting

00:28:54.980 that's coming out for y'all?

00:28:56.960 Oh my God.

00:28:57.960 What else are you working on?

00:28:58.800 I feel like y'all are so busy all the time.

00:29:00.560 Well, our, this is more personal,

00:29:03.080 but our chihuahua is, I would say mentally declining.

00:29:06.640 Sure.

00:29:07.480 Oh no, I'm so sorry.

00:29:08.860 Well, no, she's fine.

00:29:10.640 She doesn't know.

00:29:11.680 She has no idea.

00:29:13.180 I just think I always thought, well, our Chihuahua, she's everything to us.

00:29:16.580 We found her on the street.

00:29:18.760 She'd lived there for years and years. 1.00

00:29:20.440 She had trash in her teeth. 1.00

00:29:21.620 She was pregnant. 1.00

00:29:22.260 She's perfect. 1.00

00:29:23.580 But I always said, oh, well, physically she'll go first.

00:29:26.140 But it really gets you.

00:29:28.000 Mentally, I think she might be around for maybe 15 more years.

00:29:31.560 She's got no idea what is going on.

00:29:33.980 And it's gotten better.

00:29:34.900 I think we got her on a new medication.

00:29:36.160 Not on a new medication.

00:29:37.320 We're doing some brain vitamins or something that seem to be working.

00:29:41.680 but you know, that's, that's kind of, um, a big thing going on for us right now. Um,

00:29:46.840 but I think that's great. Yeah. I have two, I have two dogs, um, squid and tuna. Oh, cute.

00:29:53.200 Right before. Well, I was telling you how the internet was trying to kill me right before my

00:29:56.620 wedding. Yeah. So if that wasn't bad enough, uh, literally I want to say about two days before I

00:30:02.400 left for two weeks and we hired a pet sitter to come cause my entire family was going to the

00:30:06.520 wedding and we flew in a pet sitter and everything. Like I was like typing up the instructions,

00:30:10.580 literally two days before we leave one of my dogs ripped out a toenail trying to take my cinema roll

00:30:16.200 that i made of course because obviously i've done that same i was going through a lot at that time

00:30:21.480 and my family made me leave the house and of course we went to the century city westfield

00:30:24.580 and i went to the hello kitty build-a-bear and i built a cinema roll and then my deaf dog decided

00:30:30.220 at that that was the perfect time to rip out a toenail i don't know if anyone's ever experienced

00:30:35.480 dogs ripping out toenails but they bleed like crazy and it was funny because my parents had

00:30:40.360 just left i just took 50 milligrams of weed of course because i needed to be sedated like a

00:30:45.260 gorilla and so when i was like i was actively getting high he rips that out and we didn't

00:30:50.380 even notice but then my husband was like there's blood there's blood like everywhere and there was

00:30:54.340 blood all over the ground it looked like a crime scene like in god girl you know when she spreads

00:30:57.740 yeah that's like what it looked like and i was like oh my god oh my god and we like cornered

00:31:02.520 both of them and then one of his toenails was out i guess there's like a bunch of capillaries 0.69

00:31:06.260 and shit in there so it was bleeding like he wasn't even reacting like he couldn't care less 0.99

00:31:10.880 but then we were both high as fuck and i was like i can't go to the emergency pet vet right now 0.99

00:31:14.980 i can't so i had to call my mom my mom comes with my dad and like they took my dog to the vet 0.98

00:31:20.800 to go like get bandaged they were there for like two hours and that was squid

00:31:24.200 that was tuna that's my dad and no yeah and tuna is completely 100% deaf and even when our pet

00:31:32.120 sitter when we got back from the honeymoon she goes and you're sure he's dead and i go yeah

00:31:36.720 because it does kind of seem like he can hear sometimes sometimes it does seem like that it

00:31:41.880 comes and i'm like let me find out that you can hear this whole time but even when i fostered him

00:31:46.140 i remember i took him to our primary vet um just to like get a quick like check up on mc and right

00:31:53.140 before i took him to go foster him the owner the previous owner was like he might be deaf i go might

00:31:58.880 be yeah go check and he was like well i was but then the vet said like it's like a 600 test and

00:32:04.780 it's just a yes or no and it's not really affecting his quality of life so like if you want to know he

00:32:09.100 can he's like i just have a feeling because he doesn't react to some things when i'm behind him

00:32:13.660 and i'm like oh okay and i take him to the vet i tell him the same thing he goes huh okay put him

00:32:18.540 up here and i put him on the counter and he's facing the vet and he goes i'm gonna hand you

00:32:22.640 this and he handed me this big like metal canister of treats and he goes go ahead and drop that on

00:32:27.160 the floor because it's all linoleum and i dropped it it made the loudest like scariest noise my

00:32:32.700 other dog reacted and he was like he goes yeah he's dead that's fantastic yeah and i was like 0.97

00:32:38.720 imagine that was 600 imagine he took him in the back and that's what he fucking did 0.90

00:32:43.100 well i've been you got to teach tuna because i've been teaching angel american sign language 0.96

00:32:48.600 i have taught him not actual sign language but we did we have used certain hand signals to make him

00:32:54.480 sit and lay down and stuff which he does respond to but again i don't know he could be tricking me

00:32:59.880 sure it's one of those where sometimes he reacts and you're like can you hear yeah

00:33:04.400 little moments of right auditory clarity maybe he's like partially deaf yeah but then even when 0.98

00:33:10.340 we did that he goes no he's he's either completely deaf or like 90% deaf wow and i was like damn 0.97

00:33:16.180 really big old years useless big old years they're just yeah they're just decoration 0.92

00:33:21.880 more than anything i'm sending you lots of healing vibes for you thank you what's her name angel oh

00:33:26.960 angel's yeah because she is an angel she's perfect but yeah that's kind of our big news we like had

00:33:33.300 so much stuff going on last year kendall was in the hospital for a while and then like we moved

00:33:39.420 and our apartment we were living in fully flooded oh my god and then we moved last time i saw you

00:33:44.740 guys at your podcast i remember you guys telling me you wanted to move yes so i'm glad you guys

00:33:48.260 got to move yeah so no truly last year it was wild last year i feel like we didn't get enough

00:33:52.200 attention for like after it was over we looked back and we were like we are soldiers yeah hello

00:33:59.160 we need more sympathy no one's and we haven't really no one's talking about it like not a

00:34:04.740 single fundraiser was started on our behalf people were refusing to talk about everything you've been

00:34:09.720 through foundations anything but yeah so it was like a really hard bad year last year and then

00:34:15.780 this year we've just been like okay we're gonna get done so the book is a big focus very the

00:34:20.440 podcast like i said we're going on tour we have three dates so far announced all in california

00:34:24.320 we have la san diego and orange county and then we'll be touring all over the country oh my gosh

00:34:30.000 so that's really fun and then yeah we have some stuff in development that like you can't really

00:34:36.040 talk about no but we should key about because i have some other stuff to work i'm working on

00:34:41.020 please but i would love to key with y'all because you guys are way more well-versed oh my god yeah

00:34:45.640 Well, I would love to tell you literally anything.

00:34:48.880 Forgot my hat.

00:34:50.040 Yeah, you can.

00:34:50.580 Sorry about that.

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00:36:39.040 talking about how excited i am for lululemon's new fall collection dropping september 8th well

00:36:43.780 the time has come the fall collection is here and i finally got my hands on some of their new pieces

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00:36:54.740 One of my new favorite pieces I got and I'm wearing is the Polartec 200 series fleece half zip.

00:37:01.800 And it's in this beautiful bone color.

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00:37:41.440 free returns always. That's lululemon.com. Lululemon.com. You know, nothing like too

00:37:48.760 exciting that we can report on right now but just too exciting you guys are literally doing amazing

00:37:52.920 things nothing too exciting i'm i'm also gonna manifest too that your zombie novels get made

00:37:58.580 into like a tv show i mean that's the dream that's the ultimate dream it's so funny too because

00:38:03.140 as i've been writing it jordan is jordan is 80 steps ahead jordan is like the we've already

00:38:08.380 been purchased there was a bidding war and our tv show has been purchased and she comes home she's

00:38:13.720 like i met this person they're gonna be perfect for this character yeah that's that character's

00:38:17.640 two sentences in that scene i've got the perfect person to play you're so me she's locked in i'm

00:38:22.200 not well first of all it's not crazy to think i'm like every book right now is getting turned it's

00:38:25.900 true like we're in a real adaptation time right now it's true the way that people were hungry and

00:38:31.320 had a literal bidding war between like all the biggest book companies for your books hello i

00:38:36.240 mean period they're not gonna want to turn them into a tv show you know and it's true not wanted

00:38:40.240 already i'm manifesting it yeah i literally call it um that kind of like gig of like me writing a

00:38:46.640 fiction book it getting picked up turned into something i'm calling it my lin-manuel miranda

00:38:51.000 plan yes so i'm like because i'm like yeah you can have it i just have to be a principal

00:38:55.620 character in it you can have it i just have to be in it and i'm and i'm gonna be hamilton so

00:39:00.380 make it work build the show around me yeah your lin-plan-well miranda there we go

00:39:05.380 upon and isn't king george in hamilton yes it all connects

00:39:11.380 it goes straight to the top it goes right up to the top okay perfect transition i do have

00:39:19.880 fun facts about y'all oh my god yeah again new ones these are new ones imagine i repeated them

00:39:26.200 though but i always say that you can let me know if they're fun okay and if not i will be firing

00:39:32.080 amanda so it is it's the pressure it's the pressure's on yeah okay first one it says in

00:39:38.640 college jordan was eating a sandwich in class and your teacher walked by and said i've never met a

00:39:43.640 successful actor that eats sandwiches that's true that's true i wasn't even eating a sandwich in

00:39:48.740 class i was eating a sandwich during our lunch break but i went to nyu for acting i was in

00:39:53.620 school of the arts period it was very like you know intense um and i think you know it ultimately 0.84

00:40:00.320 probably made me a better actor but i do think there was also a lot of bullshit and and elitism

00:40:05.480 in that yes yeah also you know things I'll never forget um I I worked at a dumpling shop uh near

00:40:12.480 my school in college because I had to have a job right and I'm I'm very lucky that I got to go

00:40:17.040 there but like my parents and I did have to take off you know take out loans that we're still paying

00:40:20.480 off and yes and many of the student body there wouldn't understand that yes I'm working at the

00:40:25.640 dumpling shop I'm like wearing the dumpling shop uniform I'm like standing behind the counter like

00:40:29.120 taking people's orders and some people came in from my program um and they were like what are

00:40:33.740 you doing here they're like diner girl like cinderella sorry yeah they thought they thought

00:40:38.820 you were doing like a simple a bit yes oh are you researching yeah yeah yeah they're like you're

00:40:44.600 doing method you're doing you're playing like this this is what we call a job exactly yeah i was like

00:40:49.080 no no i work here and they were like that's crazy so that was really interesting but yeah one time

00:40:53.840 in my program a teacher walked by me while i was at lunch and i you know my weight has fluctuated

00:40:57.800 so much and i have a lot of autoimmune stuff so it's never really like standard but i've like when

00:41:02.720 I was younger I was really heavy and then like lost a bunch of weight whatever and in college I

00:41:05.980 was in New York I was walking everywhere yeah so I had lost a bunch of weight to the point where I

00:41:10.160 was like underweight yeah so just to give context to like when I'm receiving this feedback about

00:41:14.620 the sandwich right right I'm eating a sandwich that I made from my house it's like a hummus

00:41:18.620 and cucumber sandwich because I didn't have any money and I'm sitting on the floor of this acting

00:41:23.620 studio like trying to memorize lines for this class eating this hummus and cucumber sandwich

00:41:28.480 and yeah he walked by and he had always been nice to me and he walked by and he was like oh sandwich

00:41:35.740 and i said that's what he called you well yes he thinks that's your name yeah he said oh sandwich

00:41:43.120 i said yeah and he said um you know i've actually never seen a successful actor eat a sandwich

00:41:48.920 like just generally or i guess so and i'll tell you what when he was younger he was the he's not

00:41:55.660 successful anymore right but when he was younger he was the star of a very famous horror movie

00:42:03.040 oh interesting it's about a big sandwich that comes in the town sandwich yeah um no drop in

00:42:09.660 the comments who you think it is who you think the sandwich villain is yeah yeah yeah oh my god

00:42:14.080 and i just told him i was like well you'll see one one day and it'll be me

00:42:16.880 it is so jarring going to school and meeting rich people for the first time like truly rich people

00:42:23.800 I remember, cause I went to acting school in New York

00:42:26.040 and I remember meeting this girl

00:42:27.800 who had started a GoFundMe on her Facebook.

00:42:30.840 She posted it and she was like,

00:42:31.960 as you guys know, it is very expensive living in New York.

00:42:35.420 And it's really hard to be able to, you know,

00:42:38.560 have my lifestyle and then also go see Broadway shows

00:42:41.440 in the row that I'd like to experience them in.

00:42:44.040 Right, right, right.

00:42:44.880 And so the GoFundMe was for, in my family,

00:42:47.900 I've only ever seen, GoFundMes are for funerals.

00:42:50.560 Funerals, yes.

00:42:51.400 or extreme medical costs yes yes yes i could not believe my eyes and she raised like twenty

00:42:58.600 thousand dollars for bet for her to get front row seats she said i'm so sick of sitting in the 0.97

00:43:03.260 fucking balcony i can't take anymore it's orchestra or nothing yes how am i supposed to study as a 0.99

00:43:08.100 thespian if i'm not in the orchestra pit right that's fucking insane so people are interested 0.99

00:43:12.140 in acting school and i was shocked because i grew up i mean i my mom is an icu nurse my dad worked 0.86

00:43:17.080 at the airport so i i grew up i certainly never wanted for anything right um but i think yeah

00:43:21.480 going to to an acting school in new york i realized like oh there are people that have like

00:43:26.200 kind of a scary amount of money yeah yeah for real rich was i had there was a rich girl in my town

00:43:32.560 and she was rich because she had a two-story house on a hot tub and i remember being like

00:43:36.300 oh my god two-story homes i'm like wow how does it feel yeah the other half yeah that's how they

00:43:43.980 live so then when you meet the real the real ones yeah when you yeah when you meet real money it's

00:43:49.180 honestly scary yeah it's like it well and also i think to myself like i'm like and you're gonna

00:43:54.080 be an actor what are you gonna pull from good luck well they don't need to and they'll book

00:43:58.820 everything that's true that way actually yeah you're right you answered my question um and they

00:44:03.660 book everything oh you're right you're right they don't have to worry because they have famous

00:44:06.640 parents yeah this is all formality going to the school it's a performance in and of itself yeah

00:44:11.160 that's the real method yeah it's like that story that came out about all those uh famous rich

00:44:17.040 parents that were like faking their kids college admission things and like photoshopping yeah they

00:44:22.600 were like photoshopping pictures of them the woman from full house yes and then felicity huffman who's 1.00

00:44:27.840 like actually a real famous celebrity yeah she's married to um i'm watching her shameless she's

00:44:35.060 married to um please the guy who's from shameless the dad oh the dad uh william age macy yeah oh

00:44:41.880 yes she married felicity ovens married to william age macy or was like she's like a real celebrity

00:44:45.960 right so i forgot can't you guys just pay for it like yeah like i'm confused why you had to

00:44:50.860 lie to get them in there why are you going to college is that crazy to say is he going to

00:44:55.620 college for if you like want to like break a cycle isn't that kind of what it's for like if

00:45:01.420 If you're rich, what's the college for?

00:45:03.480 You need something, so you have to go to college to get the thing.

00:45:06.740 Or you're like, I want to learn about something I know nothing about.

00:45:11.320 You either are like, I want to be a doctor.

00:45:13.580 I have to get a degree to have that.

00:45:14.640 I have to change my circumstance in order to get that job.

00:45:18.440 But then you don't need to go to a certain college for that.

00:45:20.880 But that's what's so funny is I feel like all of the kids are like,

00:45:23.160 well, I want to experience a normal life.

00:45:24.680 And I'm like, so your parents faking you being on a rowing team

00:45:27.440 and then buying a school is not normal life.

00:45:29.380 Okay, so we're talking about a Truman Show kind of life.

00:45:31.100 not like a real life like i i feel i feel the same way because like that would be to me like 0.99

00:45:35.940 if you were a nepo baby and you joined the military like why would you do that shit right 0.96

00:45:39.260 why would you do that you could do anything why would you do that 100 and it's like well i just 0.98

00:45:42.740 want in fact honestly if they did that i honestly would be like okay you maybe you don't want to be 0.90

00:45:46.640 a nepo baby if you're going into the military or something like that they should do something crazy 0.98

00:45:50.060 like a nepo child yeah you should do that yes i think there's a desire or be a monk or something 1.00

00:45:54.280 like just something completely left and you're like oh okay well i guess you don't really want 0.94

00:45:58.420 to be a nepo baby and quiet yeah go be a monk i think that's a great suggestion good one yeah i

00:46:03.320 think sometimes people who have had no experiences are like i want to experience something but that's

00:46:09.580 too hard like that like so i want to experience it in like a 25 capacity like it's like as easy

00:46:16.940 as you could possibly make it for me i would like to experience it yes i think the same thing i think

00:46:21.100 the same well i also think about nepo babies i'm always like i mean the way like if i was a nepo 0.89

00:46:26.280 baby bitch the way i would be talking about it constantly i'd be like and my dad's gonna hear 0.87

00:46:32.600 about this so i would literally be like yeah that's my dad obviously i'm gonna use the 0.99

00:46:36.920 connections obviously if i was a nepo baby i wouldn't be talking about it because you would

00:46:40.980 not hear from me i'd be living on an island that my parents bought me and i would not have a phone 1.00

00:46:48.020 i would not be posting on social media when i see these people these nepo babies posting on social 1.00

00:46:53.960 like day in my life, I'm like, don't, you don't have to show anyone anything. 1.00

00:46:58.420 You have enough money. 0.99

00:46:59.580 I have to get on the internet and show my ass because I need money. 0.99

00:47:02.780 I need to sell tickets. 0.99

00:47:04.580 Well, people always ask, they're like, do you guys get jealous of each other?

00:47:07.200 I'm like, no, we are desperate for the other.

00:47:10.400 The second one of us is any amount of money, I'm done.

00:47:15.280 I'm not, I am not working ever again.

00:47:18.260 And we're all one of us, one of us, don't care who, don't care who.

00:47:20.720 This past year, we had friends that were like,

00:47:23.800 you have to get like a money guy to help you and we were like okay fine so we got this money guy

00:47:29.420 and i feel like once a month we check in with him and we're like is it enough yet to support

00:47:33.540 the two of us plus some family for the rest of our lives and he's like of course not

00:47:37.600 literally of course not you really don't can you crunch the numbers again yeah he's like you make a

00:47:42.640 very normal amount of money for two adults that live in los angeles what if i get a cheaper gym

00:47:47.180 membership how can we make this so i don't have to really do this anymore how much meal prepping

00:47:53.600 stop having to be on the internet every goddamn dollar yes and i feel so grateful for it like 0.66

00:48:00.500 being on the internet has been really wonderful for us because like once again you know we both 0.89

00:48:05.280 are very privileged in a lot of ways we both have very uh accepting parents both of the fact that

00:48:10.060 we're gay and also like accepting and like what we want to do with our careers and we have good

00:48:13.500 relationships with them we're so lucky to have that we also like could always like move back in

00:48:17.480 with either one of our parents if we ever needed to yeah so we have a lot of you know legs I got

00:48:21.900 to go to NYU like there's a lot of things that I have and Kendall has that other people don't have

00:48:25.380 so I don't want to you know make that seem uh not like a thing no yeah what was I saying well I

00:48:32.200 think you were talking about very grateful like yeah you're being grateful like I'm like those

00:48:35.920 girls unboxing their huge Christmas hauls first of all I just want to say not to brag this is not

00:48:40.660 to brag and if you don't like this content go ahead and swipe yeah i'm very grateful

00:48:46.260 um i no i think you were talking about basically making enough money to be able to take care of

00:48:52.460 people yeah just if you were never a baby we'd never work i said why do you want to you know

00:48:55.880 if i didn't have to work i would do unpaid improv i'm sorry that's sick i love it that

00:49:01.160 is your life charity or something well i gotta finish i would during the day i would just go

00:49:06.380 volunteer at hollywood food coalition a place we already volunteer i just volunteer more

00:49:10.040 and then at night i would do unpaid improv and then every single one of my friends would own a

00:49:17.000 home that i pay for that's so tea why would you not yeah that's what shocks me about billionaires

00:49:22.000 i'm like you guys have so much money you could literally be so popular well no i think that all

00:49:26.360 the time too i always think like that no the like i really do think like and i was just joking about

00:49:32.540 this with one of my friends who's in the industry too the other day but i was telling her the kind

00:49:36.620 of money that i make is is arguably cartoony um considering what i do like look at me bro like

00:49:42.500 this is what the fuck i'm doing this is my job and i was like so to me it's like monopoly money

00:49:47.480 in that regard so the whole point of it is to spend it on everyone i love like that's like 0.98

00:49:51.520 that's the whole point so like being able to retire my parents i i take care of my grandfather

00:49:55.740 i take care of like my family my other family so like i take care of a lot of people and that's

00:50:00.720 like the best fucking part of the money and then like when i go on vacation i can take care of 0.61

00:50:04.900 everyone when we go like the the fact of like going out to eat with like nine people that i love and 0.97

00:50:09.980 then being like i'll take care of it don't worry about it and no one needs to venmo me don't you 0.97

00:50:13.600 feel so big daddy when you do that oh i'm so i'm big boss down bitch oh i'm big boss down and i go 0.91

00:50:19.720 someone else goes well here and i go please yeah i'm always like no don't worry about it that's 0.97

00:50:23.860 like i always feels really nice because my dad that was like his dream like my dad had he was

00:50:29.360 doing it yeah no money my dad had a new scam every week he'd gotten pulled into he was but we'd get

00:50:35.560 boxes sent to the house I open it up it's a bunch of uh hats with the logo on it I'm like what's

00:50:40.260 this logo he's like that's my company I'm like so you don't have a company he's like I got the

00:50:43.780 marketing down he got into so much trouble he's always doing some new scam he'd call me at work

00:50:49.500 he'd go Kendall quit your job today you're never gonna have to work we're gonna make it big and I

00:50:54.060 would say when I was really young when I was I would be like this is it but eventually I was

00:50:58.260 like he's lying but he wasn't lying he thought it was real he would call he would be like girls you

00:51:03.600 don't have to worry about anything anymore i'm going on the road this man is almost fully

00:51:06.960 paralyzed almost fully paralyzed in a motor chair he'd be like i'm gonna be going from city to city

00:51:11.120 and i'm gonna be speaking we're like what are you talking about he was always getting his

00:51:14.960 skin but it was his dream to go and he would do it you know at a bar everyone around on me that's

00:51:21.200 like all he wanted to do but he couldn't afford it and i remember one time we went out to dinner

00:51:25.260 with him and he really wanted to do something kind of big daddy and he was

00:51:28.700 like side of asparagus for the table he we all ordered back over he goes you

00:51:36.240 know what you like the asparagus she goes sure you know what let's do as an

00:51:42.120 appetizer let's do a plate of the asparagus literally who wants a plate

00:51:47.220 of asparagus as an appetizer this is a man who's been in a restaurant twice in

00:51:51.800 his life we're like okay he doesn't know how to eat food and then she comes she brings the asparagus

00:51:56.680 what is it six skewers six little strands whatever and he's like enjoy it enjoy it yum and then the

00:52:03.340 end of the meal comes kind of my pays for it and he was so mad he rolled right away oh he was not

00:52:08.480 happy he's like i did that whole bid with the asparagus and here you are stepping on it i

00:52:13.000 wouldn't have gotten the asparagus if i had no he was so mad he was mad but we're like you get

00:52:18.340 one nepo baby because I have my nepo baby I like and Jordan thinks hers doesn't count but she's

00:52:23.300 like no the scars guards are nepochism babies okay the scars guard are nepo babies however 1.00

00:52:29.600 thank you they do well they act their ass off that's one but they're also freaky weirdos 0.93

00:52:34.980 they when you're a freaky weirdo like it low-key cancels out yeah like they're like

00:52:38.800 off-putting weird like low-key yes Jordan says it's a family

00:52:41.920 family is an olive garden like when you're here it feels like you ever meet like someone and

00:52:53.780 they're like i'm a plumber my grandfather started this plumbing company me and all my brothers were 0.91

00:52:59.200 all plumbers we work at this plumbing company that's what the scars you're weirdos they're

00:53:06.740 not just like oh both your parents are like random actors also it's not like

00:53:09.640 I mean, Stellan Skarsgård is like the patriarch.

00:53:13.020 He's an incredible actor.

00:53:14.660 But it's not like people are like, you know, he's not like.

00:53:18.380 He's not like Glenn Powell.

00:53:20.000 You know what I mean?

00:53:20.180 I'm just like, Stellan Skarsgård is like, you know, I'm sure.

00:53:22.260 But so many of his kids have become famous.

00:53:24.820 And I think it is really because.

00:53:25.580 Arguably more famous than him.

00:53:26.920 Yes.

00:53:27.220 Well, that's what she loves to say. 0.89

00:53:28.500 Because they are so good at acting. 0.94

00:53:30.780 But then why is Margaret Qualley different?

00:53:32.820 Stop. 0.97

00:53:34.560 The fact that you have to ask that question is absolutely ridiculous. 0.96

00:53:37.780 I don't know. 0.88

00:53:38.160 Let's ask Jack Antonoff.

00:53:39.640 bring him in yeah and I was like oh my god surprise yeah can you imagine surprising us

00:53:46.300 with Jack Antonoff would be one of the craziest things I could do bring him in you would treat it

00:53:50.660 like the asparagus like oh sure yeah yeah no sure that's awesome that's so great honestly the the

00:53:56.240 scars guard thing I I will say I do get where you're coming from also because when I watch

00:54:02.580 those guys talk in interviews even Stellan they kind of look like they don't even know why they're

00:54:07.700 there like they're like I guess like yeah I did movie and then like I acted and like yeah like

00:54:13.520 they kind of seem like they're already weird like that so they just kind of found their way here

00:54:17.900 yeah they're so like strange and I love that they know I love that about them I love that 0.86

00:54:22.380 they're freaky weirdos sorry that's a nice change for white guys like in this industry just be like

00:54:27.820 strange and do what you want and I also respect that like they have money they have the time they 0.94

00:54:32.880 really only work on interesting projects they want to work on that's true everyone that I know that's

00:54:36.600 ever worked with a scars guard in any capacity or even like interviewed them in

00:54:39.320 the carpet or whatever is always like, they're so nice.

00:54:42.820 They are like, you know, people are like, yeah, like with it,

00:54:45.480 like Bill was so nice to all the kids.

00:54:47.220 Like just there's, they seem so nice and normal versus I have nothing but

00:54:50.340 respect for Margaret quality. 0.96

00:54:51.180 I think she's a very talented actress. 0.99

00:54:53.480 Singing a different tune now that we're on.

00:54:55.100 No, she's a very, I know I think she's very talented, but I'm just like,

00:54:59.140 it just feels different.

00:55:02.820 Is it because she's seems less weird?

00:55:05.820 i think probably yeah probably i mean it's also i think too like it's one of those where it depends

00:55:11.420 on like what you're getting cast in and how often i think is when people start to get sick of 1.00

00:55:16.840 nepo babies like because then it starts to feel like okay you're just picking her because she's 0.94

00:55:21.240 like the new girl well but then like the scars guard is so random like the shit that they're in 1.00

00:55:26.100 it also feels like shit that no one else could do yeah like who the fuck else would play pennywise 1.00

00:55:31.260 like who else would do that shit like you know jacob lordy's not gonna do it you have to be ugly 0.99

00:55:35.240 yeah so you know he's not gonna do that shit like and i honestly i am think about jacob lorty 0.99

00:55:41.440 sometimes when i'm thinking about doing interviews because i think like i've been holding this joke 0.95

00:55:45.720 and first of all i was holding it for sydney sweeney because i knew she would get mad then

00:55:49.200 she turned maga so i'm like okay well i'm never gonna talk to her so but like i would be like

00:55:53.080 well i don't know where do you shop we look about the same size that was something that i was like

00:55:56.880 workshopping saying i'm like we're like similar build you and i and i was gonna say that to

00:56:01.200 Sydney Sweeney solely because I knew it would upset her and that like I think she would get

00:56:05.000 offended and I think that's kind of funny well it would be perfect because I genuinely think she

00:56:08.940 it would it would affect her it because she would be confused yeah she wouldn't get she wouldn't

00:56:14.180 know how to answer she would be like wait I'm sorry yeah and then and then I would feel in

00:56:17.760 that moment like I've literally said I'm like that joke is hilarious to me because

00:56:21.160 in real time you have to unpack your fat phobia

00:56:25.120 in real time you got to do it in front of me yeah why you don't want to look like me why 0.55

00:56:32.340 uh-huh exactly oh i know why because you're fat phobic yeah so but jacob larry i did hear

00:56:38.000 through the grapevine though that he really doesn't like being commented on his height

00:56:42.180 which i was like over it i'm sorry i feel the same way there's so many things going on and

00:56:48.460 also i know i'm not that tall now but i was so tall for so long and now it's evened out but i

00:56:53.240 I got very tall, very young. 1.00

00:56:54.560 You were telling me, bitch, you were telling me. 0.99

00:56:56.860 We were back robe for pictures every time. 0.99

00:57:00.160 I'm like, what, why is that offensive?

00:57:01.980 Like if I was so tall that every time I walked by,

00:57:04.360 someone was like, you should play basketball. 0.99

00:57:06.420 I'd be like, fuck yeah, I should. 0.99

00:57:08.180 Well, but you know what it's like? 1.00

00:57:09.420 It's like those girls and there's a ton of them 1.00

00:57:11.400 in acting school where someone goes,

00:57:13.740 well, you're really pretty.

00:57:15.240 And they all, I saw this a hundred times, 0.99

00:57:17.260 the prettiest girl you've ever seen, she's a model. 0.77

00:57:18.840 She starts crying.

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00:58:14.360 i'm sorry i just like the word pretty is like triggering to me 1.00

00:58:22.040 go fuck yourself honest to god go fuck yourself oh that's what i have to say to that 1.00

00:58:28.560 i don't see myself you know you know it'll be great get fat like if you get fat nothing will 1.00

00:58:37.900 clear that up real quick than that i'll tell you what it's easy it's easy and it's free

00:58:43.000 in many ways it's very easy can i ask who's your favorite person to interview on the carpet

00:58:48.500 oh my favorite person like ever i've interviewed or just like someone you like talk to regularly

00:58:53.940 or kind of like whoever comes to mind um honestly zach fox was really fun i do love speaking with

00:59:02.100 him i think he was so cool um dakota johnson was a hoot oh i love her she was so wonderful

00:59:08.660 loved her she was so she's so fun like she's she's cute and fun I'm trying to think who else

00:59:14.520 I've interviewed that I just like fucking adored there's quite a few I feel like I love a person

00:59:19.380 who's like so famous and I've met a few people like this where they're genuinely so famous yeah 0.64

00:59:24.680 they have the energy of a person who just got out of acting school and is on their first short film

00:59:29.700 set like the excitement and the earnestness that's not like when I met Cheryl Lee Ralph

00:59:34.660 yes oh she was lovely she was like can you believe we're in this red car i was like yeah you

00:59:41.300 i can't believe i am you have to be used well i know why i'm here i don't know about you

00:59:46.140 i can't believe i'm here but you're so famous she's just so excited yeah john cena was really

00:59:53.260 fucking cool i loved him there's there's not very many that i felt were actually i'll tell

00:59:59.140 you one that i did recently that was like shockingly kind of bad but it was it was 0.72

01:00:02.680 which is like okay so here's the tea with this here's the tea with this so i remember when i

01:00:09.720 was talking to her um or when i was about to talk to her her rep came up to me and was like

01:00:15.460 she's a huge fan and she like insisted on coming over here can i bring her to you and i went well

01:00:22.420 yeah obviously and then she goes and i remember thinking really yeah i know your husband i feel

01:00:28.980 like he fucking hates me so i was thinking in my head i was like well i mean maybe she's one of 0.82

01:00:33.220 those that's like you don't get her you don't get her you have no idea the amount of women that come 0.99

01:00:37.020 up to me both famous and not who go my husband fucking hates you but i think you're awesome 0.98

01:00:42.540 and i tell him all the time no you don't fucking get her but he says all the time i hate that 0.99

01:00:47.120 fat bitch but i love you oh thank you thank you so much and then sometimes they'll be there and 1.00

01:00:53.520 they'll be like he's somewhere over there but like he fucking hates you and i tell him all the time 1.00

01:00:57.360 she's funny you don't get it so the amount of space you know when you have interactions with 0.99

01:01:02.360 people and i'm like is this your first interaction you know dead ass they'll be the meanest thing 0.62

01:01:06.400 we went to that little that little art market remember we go up i couldn't believe what i 0.97

01:01:12.260 walked into we didn't go we were walking by we were walking by because i wasn't interested in

01:01:15.540 the art they were selling i didn't i didn't want any of it i walked by they go oh my god come here

01:01:19.880 come here we walk up we walk over you guys are those influencers sorry how dare you how dare

01:01:25.200 you even undercut this story they said you're jordan and kendall okay yeah yeah that's true

01:01:29.740 you're jordan and kendall and they say and then she turns her friend they're influencers well

01:01:33.960 sorry they're like niche micro influencers i said get away from me also influencers no you're not

01:01:43.620 you're creative genius you guys are literally comedians and writers and then you just so 0.95

01:01:50.120 happen to make a tiktok too i'm just like leave us alone it's the same shit as like caleb when 0.62

01:01:55.020 they say caleb's my favorite comedian ever my favorite joke he's ever told is the cooper story 0.99

01:02:00.020 like that that's some bullshit he's shit out of his mouth on my show and they're like that is the 1.00

01:02:05.260 funniest fucking thing ever and i was like it's funny because he would fucking kill himself if 1.00

01:02:09.420 you heard you call him an influencer he fucking hates that shit sure yeah i get a lot something 0.99

01:02:14.480 that um makes me feel confused because it's not insulting but it does make me feel strange 0.99

01:02:19.280 i get approached a lot by people and they're like it's so good to see someone so fat on camera or

01:02:26.420 on tv or whatever oh and i'm always like oh okay is this your first time seeing anyone ever yeah

01:02:32.720 i'm always like you know and first of all i'm so i'm not trying to do like um fat stolen valor

01:02:38.960 you know i know that there's like a lot of levels to weights and like i said like my weight has been

01:02:43.400 all over the place so it's it you know it's very different but i do very frequently or people will

01:02:47.860 be like it's so good to have fat representation on dropout and I'm like oh a lot of people have

01:02:54.680 a lot of different weights on dropout um and that's kind of interesting that you only see

01:02:59.060 I don't know me as a certain way and maybe not the men as their weights right just something

01:03:02.960 to think about but I really it's also jarring because you'll be like at the front line of

01:03:05.800 the post office and someone screams that from the back and you have to be like pitch your 0.99

01:03:09.260 they're like i love you fatty fat i love your big fat ass you're the best and it's fine fat is not 0.96

01:03:16.340 a bad word there's nothing wrong with i agree i say the same thing it is it is weird to have 1.00

01:03:21.260 people so kind of easily and comfortably comment on your weight yeah you're fucking telling me um

01:03:28.920 and that's why i wanted to like bring it up because i'm sure you you know because especially 1.00

01:03:31.980 if you're tall you like oh girl my big fat ass yeah they talk about me being big and fat all 0.97

01:03:36.480 the time they're always like oh i love that you don't like i love when i have bigger like i saw 0.99

01:03:41.800 this one that was like oh my god i've had quite a few but like there was a girl who dm'd me once

01:03:46.580 and she was like i just want to say a huge fan of your stuff love you um but also i really love

01:03:51.180 that you wear a lot of strapless things because i also have huge linebacker shoulders that's what

01:03:57.040 she fucking wrote to me i also have those and it makes me feel a little less insecure and maybe 0.72

01:04:03.340 you want to try a tube top every now and then. 0.99

01:04:05.960 I hope you never try a tube top ever in your life.

01:04:08.000 But also-

01:04:08.840 Wrap that tube top around your mouth and nose

01:04:11.060 and take a big breath.

01:04:11.900 Pull it all the way up.

01:04:12.820 Yeah, I'm like, be quiet.

01:04:14.700 It's also like, it doesn't offend me,

01:04:16.300 but I can't believe that you think saying it to me that way

01:04:20.080 would not, could not potentially offend me.

01:04:22.520 Like in any, like you said,

01:04:24.060 have you ever spoken to a human ever?

01:04:26.340 Yes.

01:04:27.180 Like even when me and Brynny were out recently,

01:04:29.960 this woman walked by her and she goes, 1.00

01:04:32.360 hey meme queen hey there meme queen what the fuck like and we walked away and she was like 0.98

01:04:39.240 you know why they say that because she was like 50 so it was kind of confusing and then she goes 0.97

01:04:43.820 you know why because they made me into a gif on slack and that's why and old people send that 0.98

01:04:48.980 gif all the fucking time and that's why they say that bullshit to me like hey meme queen 0.96

01:04:53.660 and i was like well at least that one's a little nicer yeah and big linebacker shoulders but we 0.99

01:04:59.000 both get shit like that sure yeah i just don't i just am like well you could be a fan of my work 0.99

01:05:05.560 right right that's how i feel too when when women come up to me and they're like 1.00

01:05:09.700 i fucking love you you fucking bitch yo what the fuck like you mean fucking yeah you're so 1.00

01:05:18.080 fucking mean you fucking bitch yeah i love you bitch we all hate you and i love you too 1.00

01:05:23.120 and you're like what are we talking about i don't know if you guys experience this because you guys 1.00

01:05:26.820 are comedians and like writers but you're also really funny naturally like in conversation

01:05:31.180 so do you ever interact with people that you're like they can almost tell that you're funny they

01:05:36.260 know that so it almost feels like they're competing with you just in normal human conversation

01:05:41.860 literally any woman's husband i've ever met well exactly like this yeah they'll be like you know

01:05:46.840 you'll be like oh oh nice to meet you wait are we gonna say the same thing they say probably oh

01:05:50.240 you can dish it out but you can't you know whatever they'll be like oh nice to meet you 0.99

01:05:53.480 they'll be like oh okay stupid and then you're like what and then they're like oh oh let me 0.99

01:05:58.060 guess you're a comedian who can you can dish it out but you can't take it every uber i've ever 0.99

01:06:02.420 been in they're just they're just insulting you always and i'm like we haven't done any jokes yet

01:06:07.000 we're just meeting oh are we starting now but yeah it's always like oh you can't take it

01:06:13.520 every every taxi driver i've ever had yeah now i just when you say you're in comedy yeah they

01:06:21.520 What do you do, you're in comedy?

01:06:23.080 Yeah, I don't anymore, but I'll be like, 0.99

01:06:24.580 I'm in comedy and they go, oh, you're ugly. 0.98

01:06:26.580 Yeah. 0.99

01:06:27.420 Okay, I'll just say something like that.

01:06:29.360 They'll be like, oh, people laugh at you?

01:06:30.740 People think you're funny?

01:06:31.960 And I say, yeah.

01:06:33.440 And they go, oh, oh, she's upset by that now.

01:06:36.060 She's upset by the joke.

01:06:37.020 Oh, she can do this job, but she can't take it.

01:06:38.580 I'm like, you don't even know what kind of comedy.

01:06:39.900 I can write television.

01:06:41.580 You have no clue what I do, really, within the comedy space.

01:06:44.500 I'm like, what are you talking about?

01:06:46.900 Men, it's terrible.

01:06:48.120 Like, even in like mixed conversation, 0.97

01:06:50.540 like whether it's like because sometimes women will come up to me and they'll like bring men 0.98

01:06:55.280 with them like whether it's a friend or a boyfriend or whatever and they'll they'll explain

01:06:59.820 who I am which I'm like I don't need to be here for that part of the conversation you could just

01:07:03.480 approach me and then go explain it to him somewhere else when I'm there and she's pointing

01:07:07.500 at me like I'm on the whiteboard yeah that's the part that really pisses me off because I'm like I

01:07:11.160 don't need to be here for this and she literally was they'll be like oh she does this awesome thing 0.90

01:07:16.280 where she like is so fucking mean to men when you tell the average man that they go oh really 0.72

01:07:22.520 every time like they look at me and i go yeah pretty much because i'm not gonna sit here and 0.99

01:07:27.880 explain to you what the fuck i do i didn't yeah you could drop dead like to that guy that's how 0.99

01:07:31.600 i feel like in my head i'm like i don't give a fuck like but sometimes they'll be like tell me 0.99

01:07:35.580 a joke oh always tell me so okay tell me a joke no yeah i always say i charge for that yeah i 0.98

01:07:44.920 I charge for that.

01:07:45.940 That costs money.

01:07:46.660 I literally go,

01:07:47.520 huh?

01:07:47.900 No,

01:07:48.560 I actually got it so good though.

01:07:49.880 The other day I was at the airport.

01:07:51.000 I was going through airport security.

01:07:52.860 The guy looks mighty and he goes,

01:07:54.020 okay.

01:07:54.540 All right.

01:07:54.960 And why are you in town?

01:07:55.900 Or like,

01:07:56.180 like what brought you here?

01:07:57.060 I was like a business.

01:07:58.120 He's like,

01:07:58.320 Oh,

01:07:58.400 what do you do?

01:07:58.640 I was like,

01:07:58.880 I'm a comedian.

01:07:59.440 I'm on tour.

01:07:59.960 And he was like,

01:08:00.460 Oh,

01:08:00.620 comedian.

01:08:01.460 Tell me a joke.

01:08:02.060 I said,

01:08:02.380 I have to get to my flight.

01:08:03.540 He was like,

01:08:04.020 come on,

01:08:04.300 tell me.

01:08:04.560 I was like,

01:08:04.800 I know I really don't have any,

01:08:06.160 I don't have any jokes,

01:08:06.900 whatever because no matter what you say it's not going to be good enough yeah no matter what you

01:08:09.320 could tell this person the funniest joke in the world you could tell this man the funniest joke

01:08:12.020 he does not care and so I was like okay whatever and then um someone behind me heard the whole 0.94

01:08:16.780 interaction and then leaned out and they were like um actually she's a uh really successful

01:08:20.620 comedian I like follow her online she's like super funny and I was like damn this feels good

01:08:25.100 and then we got through security and I told the woman I was like that was awesome thank you for

01:08:29.640 doing that I appreciate you yeah I was like that felt right I'm in that kind of situation all the

01:08:33.540 time with a man demanding a joke for me and that was the worst time that's ever happened and it

01:08:36.520 was really cool I know I I hate when um sometimes I'll talk to like I'll I it's rare that it's

01:08:42.820 happened on this show but like sometimes I'll work and like do like a commercial something or

01:08:47.260 I'll do like something else where there's a set full of people and then there will always be at

01:08:52.200 least one man especially if it's like a crew of like 30 or more there will always be at least one

01:08:56.820 guy who comes up to me at the end and he'll be like you know what you're actually like pretty

01:09:02.200 funny yep you're actually like low-key funny like a hundred percent okay guy

01:09:07.880 holding camera thanks a lot to me thank you need to get better at lying lost art

01:09:14.620 I don't know what even what you're saying where people are going they're

01:09:18.380 having to explain to their boyfriends who you are the second Jordan Jordan

01:09:21.240 points someone goes oh you know I immediately go

01:09:25.520 Of course.

01:09:26.360 Of course, yes.

01:09:27.180 Of course I do.

01:09:28.020 I love you.

01:09:29.340 It's like you lie and I feel like it's all the time

01:09:31.580 these people are so honest or they're late to something

01:09:33.760 and they're like, sorry, I'm late.

01:09:35.200 I just like woke up late, bad already, bad already.

01:09:39.340 Anytime I've been late, what do I say?

01:09:41.060 So I'm, I have a fever and I'm,

01:09:43.280 my car's upside down.

01:09:44.120 I'll tell you the most colorful story 0.99

01:09:45.440 you've ever fucking heard. 0.99

01:09:46.400 And it's respectful. 0.99

01:09:47.320 Yeah, I agree.

01:09:48.160 She brought that up to me one day.

01:09:48.980 She's like, it's respectful to lie sometimes.

01:09:51.620 I agree.

01:09:52.460 And I agreed, I'm like,

01:09:53.300 if you don't even respect me enough to lie,

01:09:54.300 You're just like, I'm late because the Duncan line was long.

01:09:57.860 And I just didn't care.

01:09:58.920 Yeah, and you're just like a random person I'm working with.

01:10:01.080 I'm like, just lie a little bit.

01:10:02.340 Yeah, you can lie to me a little bit.

01:10:03.900 When you say, sorry, I would say, when you say you were in a car crash and you show up with the Duncan, that shows me you respect me.

01:10:09.760 Right.

01:10:10.240 To lie and know the importance of what you're late for.

01:10:12.260 And I appreciate that.

01:10:13.220 Thank you.

01:10:13.560 Absolutely.

01:10:14.440 Finish your story about the shy woman. 0.89

01:10:17.380 Wait, what's the shy woman? 1.00

01:10:18.660 You said a woman always comes up and she's always coming to her ass. 1.00

01:10:20.160 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 1.00

01:10:21.260 so she was basically like it got to this point where I could tell like and obviously she's told

01:10:26.480 me before I'm a huge fan of yours like I and she's a working actress so she was like and she's in a

01:10:31.140 very big show so she was like I'm such a huge fan like she's told me that offline so I'm like okay

01:10:36.300 cool I've talked to her four times so like every time I see her I'm like you should feel a little

01:10:40.220 bit more comfortable talking to me but you don't every time you meet me it's like the first time

01:10:43.480 you've ever met me which is fine but then when she it gets into this thing where like I know she

01:10:48.020 wants to banter with me but then it gets mean banter it requires quickness you know what i'm

01:10:53.240 saying it's a skill and not everyone has it exactly i'm shocked well we were we were saying

01:10:59.360 recently because i i was like at the beginning of this year when i have a conversation if i'm

01:11:03.340 in a group of people right my brain i'm going okay that person said uh she said three sentences

01:11:07.620 that person she knows her she hasn't spoken i'm gonna ask you a question am i gonna come back

01:11:11.840 right after that i'm only panicked that everyone feels included and at the beginning of last year 0.99

01:11:16.800 I said, fuck it, I'm not doing this shit anymore. 1.00

01:11:18.460 Right. 1.00

01:11:19.300 Someone needs to include me in a conversation.

01:11:21.800 So I am not saying, and I know Jordan and I,

01:11:24.680 anytime we're at a wedding and we're at a table

01:11:26.260 with a bunch of people, they wish we were dead.

01:11:28.600 We were, and all right, we're gonna go around

01:11:30.640 and who's from where and who's from where.

01:11:31.980 Okay, rose and thorn, rose and thorn.

01:11:34.120 Let's go around.

01:11:34.960 Rose and thorn.

01:11:35.800 What was your rose, what was your thorn at the wedding?

01:11:36.940 I've always, I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore.

01:11:38.840 So I started this year, I was like,

01:11:40.480 if a conversation dies down

01:11:42.440 and I've already asked a couple questions,

01:11:43.700 I'm not saying anything.

01:11:45.100 The amount of conversation-

01:11:46.940 It's good for you, Kendall.

01:11:47.840 It's quiet.

01:11:49.040 I can't believe, I'm like,

01:11:50.160 these people really are fine sitting at a table

01:11:52.380 and not saying anything. 0.99

01:11:53.720 They wanna be fucking interviewed. 0.99

01:11:54.860 Like, it's like, there's no back and forth. 0.99

01:11:57.340 So like, and she's so young that I was like,

01:11:59.760 I think it's, that also lends towards age.

01:12:02.000 Cause I've talked about obviously a lot of young people now,

01:12:04.780 they're media illiterate,

01:12:06.180 but they're also just illiterate in general. 1.00

01:12:08.260 Like the art of conversation is fucking lost. 0.99

01:12:11.220 So like, literally I'm like the way that, you know, 0.98

01:12:13.200 we go around and we say things to each other.

01:12:15.320 Like, but even with her, I was like, I said that

01:12:18.080 and it felt like she was low key insulting me.

01:12:20.120 Like I was like, what?

01:12:21.480 Yeah.

01:12:22.320 And then, and then I was like, oh, okay.

01:12:24.860 Oh, I got, okay.

01:12:26.020 And then she was like, and then it turns into, 0.96

01:12:27.880 sorry, I said that joke and I was so fucking fun, not funny. 0.69

01:12:30.260 It was like, so not funny, like at all. 0.91

01:12:32.060 And then I have to be like, no, it was funny.

01:12:34.380 It was so funny.

01:12:35.220 It's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

01:12:36.060 Oh my God, no, it was funny.

01:12:37.180 It was, as I'm trying to work, I'm like, oh my God.

01:12:39.620 Oh my God.

01:12:40.460 Oh my God.

01:12:41.300 because you guys know this probably better than anyone like a lot of actors like

01:12:44.360 the personality is like missing like they have to be given it in a script in order to be able

01:12:49.900 to act like well that's why they're good at acting they're fully a physically and mentally

01:12:53.560 a blank slate yes exactly and then they're good at absorbing a role because nothing else is going

01:12:57.820 on and then they also are mentally unwell right they're fully unhinged but i feel bad because i

01:13:05.160 think sometimes it used to be you could be insane you know right yeah now you can't show any

01:13:11.400 personality whatsoever yes to the point where it's been like almost bled out of them like they

01:13:15.880 don't have it anymore they have nothing because there's some artists that i'm like well if we've

01:13:18.940 been if they've been having to do day in their life videos like who if osby osborne oh had to

01:13:23.780 do day in their life videos i guess he did i guess he did and did it make us like him i don't know

01:13:28.600 well i would say yeah i do think it made us like him but also he was wild and like everything on

01:13:32.480 that show he would be canceled for now.

01:13:33.680 I think it's just like, people are wild.

01:13:36.140 Or like if Gwen Stefani, I don't know,

01:13:37.760 these people that I'm like,

01:13:38.540 if they were doing Day in the Life videos,

01:13:40.100 it would be, I don't know, I'm trying to think of people.

01:13:42.880 No, I get what you're saying.

01:13:43.880 No, but you're right. 0.95

01:13:44.720 They're insane people, they're artists. 0.97

01:13:46.480 They've been removed. 0.53

01:13:47.400 And then now it's like, but you have to be both

01:13:49.500 insane enough to be kind of an artist,

01:13:51.120 but you also need to be

01:13:52.720 palatable enough to not, to be on camera constantly.

01:13:56.620 And I'm like, that is just very rare.

01:13:58.160 Well, and I agree, and I'll say too,

01:14:00.240 like the inverse of that is us like right like we're like personality first and then like we

01:14:05.560 also have other skill but like i was at an event and i was like walking carpet and i was getting

01:14:10.000 interviewed and this woman god bless her she asked me normal stuff like how do you feel whatever

01:14:14.740 blah blah the last question she asked me she goes so wedding of the summer coming up i'm thinking

01:14:20.760 to myself because i wasn't married at that point i was like i haven't told her i thought she was

01:14:24.640 talking about me because she didn't clarify who she was talking about and then she goes taylor

01:14:28.820 swift and travis kelsey and i go oh okay me not even knowing they were getting married that summer

01:14:34.140 i was like i didn't know that but okay and then she goes what do you think their first dance what 0.88

01:14:40.820 do you think they're gonna dance to like what song i don't give a fuck like i remember that was 0.64

01:14:45.280 she asked me that question i go what do i think they're gonna dance to yeah and she goes yeah i 0.97

01:14:50.380 I go, I don't know, something white. 0.94

01:14:52.660 Yeah, and like that. 0.57

01:14:54.540 Crazy frog. 1.00

01:14:57.000 Like Cotton Eye Joe, bitch, I don't fucking know. 1.00

01:14:59.660 What do y'all like, Sweet Caroline? 1.00

01:15:01.660 And I know that's right.

01:15:03.920 We were just at a wedding where I told Jordan, 0.98

01:15:06.340 I said, there is nothing fucking worse. 0.99

01:15:09.080 It's maybe the only bad thing white people have to deal with 1.00

01:15:11.700 is being at a wedding that's mostly white people

01:15:14.380 and they start playing Sweet Caroline and you feel. 0.58

01:15:16.940 They're gonna turn something over.

01:15:18.040 I mean, it's so embarrassing.

01:15:20.560 They're gonna flip a bus.

01:15:21.880 Yeah, I literally was like, something white. 1.00

01:15:24.460 Like, and then that, there were two women of color 1.00

01:15:27.040 on either side of her. 1.00

01:15:27.880 They both busted up laughing.

01:15:30.200 This woman felt, I think she felt offended 1.00

01:15:32.400 because she was white, but she was like, 0.67

01:15:34.480 like that when I said it and I go,

01:15:36.360 like, if I had to guess something like that,

01:15:39.120 I said, should we put money on it?

01:15:40.740 And then she was like, all right, thank you so much.

01:15:43.520 And then she didn't use any of my clips.

01:15:45.420 She hit you with a U, she said,

01:15:46.740 Okay, thank you very much.

01:15:47.580 Good to see you.

01:15:48.400 Yeah, she pulled one of me on me.

01:15:50.120 I got got.

01:15:51.960 Can I say, you seem like someone

01:15:54.500 who would have been invited to the wedding.

01:15:55.620 I feel like she's inviting all the-

01:15:56.880 To the Taylor Swift wedding?

01:15:57.720 Yes, I feel like she's inviting all the cool

01:15:59.960 influencer creators, like comedians.

01:16:03.000 I feel like she wants to surround herself

01:16:04.500 with people that are cool.

01:16:05.460 That's true.

01:16:06.300 And I feel like you are kind of the coolest.

01:16:08.760 You're like- Thank you.

01:16:09.660 Well, I feel like you're like

01:16:10.720 all these famous people's favorite person.

01:16:14.060 And it seems like you would fall in that camp for her as well.

01:16:16.180 Yeah, you would think, but I didn't,

01:16:18.840 I think Jeff Bezos took my invite.

01:16:21.000 Oh my God, he's always taking stuff from you.

01:16:22.200 He's always taking stuff from me.

01:16:23.500 Oh, I hate when that happens to you.

01:16:24.340 Oh my God, we have the same bank account,

01:16:26.560 the same build side profile, he and I. 0.99

01:16:31.400 I really do, when I get asked shit like that, 0.92

01:16:35.220 and then we joke, we're funny and witty and that, 0.97

01:16:38.540 sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesn't.

01:16:41.100 Yeah.

01:16:41.940 And you know what, I was thinking,

01:16:43.800 I was telling my therapist this the other day,

01:16:45.480 I was telling her like the higher I ascend in this or the more like big projects I get involved

01:16:49.660 with I was like telling her I really don't want that part of me to be bled out like I don't want

01:16:54.200 to give up that part of me I think that's what sets me apart in a lot of ways but I also think

01:16:58.200 that's like the beauty of the internet being a portal now for a lot of people like us to be able

01:17:03.360 to move into this industry and like make money doing it is because we've been like able to show

01:17:08.920 what we can do because any other way we would not be able to access this kind of level like we

01:17:13.380 would be able to get in these places that's what i always say it's like my nepotism like the internet

01:17:16.980 is my nepotism on hell yeah and this is what i was trying to say earlier oh oh that's what you

01:17:21.520 were trying to say look at that this is crazy so we're yes we're very lucky we're you know whatever

01:17:26.940 but at the same time you know this industry is hard and bad and it's especially hard for people

01:17:32.280 that aren't exorbitantly wealthy or um have connections and you know we feel grateful every

01:17:37.500 day for the internet because it has kind of let us do what we want to do in the way you want to do 0.99

01:17:43.240 in the way we want to do it without having to like suck the dick of like weird old nasty men 0.97

01:17:48.920 and it feels so cool because like you know before we really like blew up doing stuff 0.99

01:17:54.920 kendall was a janitor at a gym and i was writing clickbait for a website um so you know we were

01:18:02.280 like totally fine but it's just like to get those opportunities they're really hard to get when

01:18:07.500 you're you know no matter how talented you are skilled you are kind you are how hard you work

01:18:11.500 Like, it's really hard to be afforded those opportunities.

01:18:13.600 And I think, you know, the internet has done so much bad,

01:18:15.680 but it's also done some good enough.

01:18:17.440 Like, yeah, I agree.

01:18:18.360 That's, like, one of the things I love about the internet.

01:18:20.360 And that's, like, one of the things, like,

01:18:21.360 no matter how many times they try to kill me.

01:18:23.540 That's what I am thankful to the internet for,

01:18:25.680 because I feel the same way,

01:18:26.540 especially when you sit in margins.

01:18:28.000 Like, it's even harder to get in,

01:18:29.960 and it's even harder to, like, make a name for yourself

01:18:31.940 or get the same opportunities,

01:18:33.440 which is why I love y'all,

01:18:34.820 because I think you guys move the same way I do in this business,

01:18:37.520 where it's, like, I know so many talented people

01:18:40.140 that i could put in the right rooms if i got the chance to and it doesn't matter if they have 0.81

01:18:45.380 followers it doesn't matter if they're famous none of that shit matters to me it's like i get 0.79

01:18:49.320 to bring people with me when i the bigger i get and the more opportunity i get which i think is 0.54

01:18:53.580 like why i think we're like cosmically connected absolutely i feel very connected to y'all yes same

01:18:59.200 i feel the same yeah that's why i was like after we talked for i was like you guys want to come to

01:19:03.240 my wedding i know and we were so pissed we couldn't look i know they couldn't make it 0.96

01:19:07.380 kettle's fucking stupid birthday thanks a lot so mad um but no really like every you know like 0.96

01:19:15.180 we're all like so busy with work and stuff and everything's so crazy but anytime we see really 0.99

01:19:18.020 anyone from your family yeah it's just like you y'all are so normal and nice and real and like

01:19:24.420 grounded it's just it's so wild but i think it's because you do bring people because i think we

01:19:29.700 continue to like surround ourselves with the people that we were friends with before all of

01:19:34.700 this yeah absolutely and obviously you meet people but yeah i mean you know how sometimes you meet

01:19:38.140 not everyone at these events i say oh my god sometimes when you meet like especially when

01:19:42.880 people ask me if i've ever met anybody rude i'm always like believe it or not like the rudest

01:19:47.380 people i've met have been like influencers and reality people it's not even a-list talent like

01:19:52.740 also like a lot of a-list talent is not evil like and or that they're either nothing burger

01:19:57.480 they're a little they're rude or they're awesome like and i was i've always made this joke i made

01:20:02.320 this joke to lucy dacus when she was on the show but i told her like i think in order to make it

01:20:05.660 to a certain level here you have to be just innately good or just pure evil yes that's the

01:20:11.920 only way you survive and the only way you succeed because evil people will succeed no matter what

01:20:16.180 because they don't care about anyone right and the purely good people will make it it's just

01:20:19.440 going to take a lot longer yeah like it's going to take them a little bit longer to get there

01:20:22.420 so i feel the same way but we also all are kept very humble and i think that's you know i've seen

01:20:27.000 the way your family speaks to you and it's horrifying it's very similar to us you know

01:20:31.280 that ought to do it kate our producer is like one of our best friends and kate i mean every 1.00

01:20:36.080 morning kate is like get up you stupid bitch what you're supposed to do like tell like whatever and 1.00

01:20:40.940 it's she said by the grace of god you got this opportunity yeah why don't you get up and work 1.00

01:20:46.000 it's really good my parents do not care at all about this industry my parents are happy for you

01:20:50.740 what is your dad jordan said every time we try to get him to listen to our podcast he says the

01:20:55.400 same thing he goes look it's not my type of comedy it's not my type of comedy the other day we're on

01:21:01.980 the phone he was I because we had Taylor Tomlinson on our podcast I love her I do she's just a dream

01:21:07.720 but I was telling my dad oh we had her do you know her because my dad is a fan of comedy right

01:21:10.560 I just like a lot of comedy and he was like oh he was like no I'm not familiar with her I'll look

01:21:13.680 her up he said you know who's my favorite blonde comedian I said yeah I do and he said really and

01:21:19.440 I said, yeah. 1.00

01:21:19.840 He goes, that blonde woman from The Daily Show. 0.50

01:21:22.580 I just love her.

01:21:24.760 He is my, she is my favorite blonde comedian.

01:21:27.420 And I said, what about Kendall?

01:21:30.020 My dad loves Kendall.

01:21:31.220 You going, I think I do know.

01:21:33.800 And he's talking about someone else.

01:21:35.020 Yeah, and my parents love Kendall.

01:21:36.460 Kendall is like their own child.

01:21:37.980 I was like, what about Kendall?

01:21:39.040 My dad goes, Kendall?

01:21:40.620 I don't really think of her as blonde or a comedian. 0.99

01:21:45.120 I said, well, all right. 0.99

01:21:46.720 That woman who's always in my house.

01:21:48.240 she's 0 for 2 on both of those things but okay all right my guys but i think that's really good

01:21:54.580 i think it like it keeps you very grounded and i think it keeps you i agree working hard and being

01:21:59.820 like i'm not the center of attention i think a lot of people are hiring yes people i agree and then

01:22:04.620 you become you're you're crazy girl you're telling me i like literally my grandpa like uh when i

01:22:10.000 first blew up on tiktok and i started doing this full time and i started the show and everything 0.97

01:22:13.620 and it was like everything was taking off so fast uh my grandpa's like so your mom tells me

01:22:18.020 that you're doing this like tiktok thing and i go yeah yeah i am and he's like you know i have a

01:22:23.420 tiktok and i go oh really like me not knowing that i'm like oh really he goes yeah but i haven't

01:22:29.100 looked you up on there and i go oh really why and he goes i don't need to see all that

01:22:34.440 all that what are you talking about i was like what do you think i'm doing on there

01:22:39.300 and I go grandpa I'm just like telling jokes and he goes yeah but I know who I like on TikTok

01:22:44.920 it's not me my algorithm's incredibly curated even my brother like my brother was still in

01:22:51.120 high school when I first blew up and he was telling me he was in school and he was like

01:22:55.660 this girl in his class was talking to him and she was talking about TikTok and she was like

01:22:59.140 talking about her her favorite people on TikTok and he was like oh my sister's on TikTok and then

01:23:03.920 she goes oh really what's what's her username and he goes i don't know and i go it's my first and

01:23:10.360 last name you know both of those you share one of them and then he goes well how was i supposed to 0.72

01:23:15.080 know that i don't know bitch i've been doing it for three years i thought maybe no worries i was 0.98

01:23:19.440 like that's the kind of shit i need like even at my wedding my one of my uncles came and he brought 0.99

01:23:24.780 he has he has quite a few boys but they're all like married and living other places but he brought 0.98

01:23:28.700 like the youngest and he for context he has downs but he is so funny like he's one of the funniest

01:23:36.020 people I've ever met and even at my wedding like my mom goes you ready to go and he goes

01:23:40.900 because they were about to leave us like after hours of being at the reception and he was like

01:23:44.240 oh yes and she was like did you have fun he goes no I didn't and she goes why not he goes it's hot

01:23:52.160 it's hot here oh my god and then like my uncle was like okay we're gonna leave and he ran to

01:23:57.340 the car like he just took off into the dark like he was like i'll be in the car if you guys need 0.98

01:24:00.700 me i'll be in the car the way that bitch was like no i didn't have fun get me out of here i don't 0.99

01:24:05.740 like her i didn't i barely know that bitch yes i've known him since he was born he's like i 1.00

01:24:11.040 barely know her oh my god uh yes yeah strangers need to be nice too and your family needs to be 0.98

01:24:15.160 mean to you that's that's the recipe okay i'm gonna speed through some of these last you're

01:24:20.300 no no are you kidding this is the best okay so this one says kendall won homecoming sophomore

01:24:25.580 princess okay you could have lied and said queen

01:24:28.540 but they were supposed to be facts yeah now everyone's gonna know i've been lying for years

01:24:37.920 it's actually so embarrassing because so in at my school i don't know how it works at other

01:24:44.260 schools at my school if you're in a club you can be nominated each club nominates a person yeah

01:24:49.600 that was how it was like that at our high school too yeah so it's not people who are popular it's

01:24:53.140 people who are trying to get into college it's very different people who are doing extracurriculars

01:24:57.040 those are not popular people no cheerleaders on the court it was just if you're in extracurricular 0.99

01:25:00.640 i was the president of my improv team so i was in charge of nominating right so you bet your ass 0.59

01:25:07.360 every year i was nominated as a girl for at the moment we did not do votes we would vote on the 0.54

01:25:13.820 guys i read your guys's minds i know who it is i will be nominated of course and then i would all

01:25:19.740 the other girls who won queen, they don't even hardly know

01:25:22.260 they've been nominated, they're like, oh, whatever.

01:25:24.080 I am standing at the voting table, doing, I am,

01:25:28.000 who are you gonna vote for?

01:25:29.040 All right, I would really appreciate your vote,

01:25:30.720 I'm doing-

01:25:31.560 You're campaigning.

01:25:32.400 I'm campaigning, I'm making buttons,

01:25:34.040 I'm texting people.

01:25:34.860 That's illegal.

01:25:35.700 I know, I know.

01:25:37.660 And even still, couldn't pull out queen. 0.99

01:25:40.220 So you couldn't, damn, you're doing boots on the ground. 0.99

01:25:43.040 Exactly. 0.99

01:25:43.880 You know, that reminds me when I was,

01:25:46.760 I think a freshman in high school.

01:25:49.180 yeah i think a freshman high school um there was like we would have this like asb like student 0.64

01:25:53.320 council so it'd be like president vice president whatever and uh this girl that was a senior she

01:25:58.160 was going to be senior the next year she was running for president and like the the point is 0.94

01:26:02.020 like they would have this big like fucking what do you call it assembly and you would have a big 0.80

01:26:06.500 booth and it would have a theme and that was you campaigning to like be voted for and each year had 0.96

01:26:10.800 a had a theme right and so you would pick someone that you felt was like popular in that grade to go 0.71

01:26:16.380 and influence everyone to go vote for you so this girl asked me like she for ninth graders she was

01:26:21.840 like hey would you be on like my little council and whatever and i was like oh hell yeah like 1.00

01:26:26.000 because i got to skip school so i was like oh fuck yeah i'd love to do that and then she was

01:26:29.800 like okay the theme this year for the booths is disney so my booth is toy story and i was like 0.72

01:26:36.360 okay cool and she goes so dress up as anyone from toy story i'm gonna be jesse but like you can be

01:26:41.080 anybody else like and she told me who the other people were being i'm like okay word got it no

01:26:44.620 and then i went home and then i was like i dress as stinky pete obviously now could i have picked

01:26:51.280 a more main character sure but i already had the overalls so i was like well i have the overalls so

01:26:56.740 i might as well and i remember when i put it on i just had a long red sleeve like a long sleeve 0.98

01:27:01.580 red shirt of overalls i had cowboy boots and then i had like a hat that barely fit my fucking head 0.95

01:27:07.120 and then i was like okay perfect and then i had like a little thing that i was pretending was my 0.99

01:27:12.280 pickaxe and I when I got ready for school my sister was like you're supposed to dress up for

01:27:16.460 the thing I go I am and she's like who are you and I was like she goes who are you supposed to be

01:27:21.700 and I was like I'm Stinky Pete like Prospector Pete well Stinky Pete I kept calling him Stinky 0.96

01:27:25.740 Pete I go to school the way that bitch was so mad at me like when I showed up she goes who are 0.96

01:27:30.820 you supposed to be Drew honestly I've seen all five I don't know who that is I have never heard 0.98

01:27:37.080 it's in the second one he's the one who tries to kill all of them at the end he's the villain the

01:27:41.720 bear that's the that's the third or fourth one yeah no no no this is the one where like with

01:27:47.440 it's jesse's introduced to the cast and then you have bullseye who i could have been but i'm like 0.96

01:27:52.740 whores i might be a whore yeah i'm gonna be an old man and i that's offensive it's falling in 0.94

01:27:58.280 line with the king george thing i really do love to cross-dress like maybe that's why they were 0.99

01:28:01.560 transvestigating me not too long ago but i honestly if people did as much toward the

01:28:09.600 government as they did towards you yeah mom donnie would be president we'd have a million

01:28:15.300 literally everything you'd run the whole country we'd have free health care hell yeah every time

01:28:21.380 about you i'm literally moments away from making a 30 minute long video being like this is why you 0.53

01:28:28.140 all need to be put down it is so bad sick but no one cares about me enough so well you know isn't

01:28:36.160 that isn't that always the case i and honestly i i showed her i remember her because she was like

01:28:40.620 this really pretty popular blonde girl and i think she genuinely was confused why i dress like a boy

01:28:46.620 like she was genuinely confused like she was like why would you do it like she was honestly annoyed

01:28:52.360 at me like she was genuinely mad at me and i was like oh i'm sorry i'm fucking hilarious i literally 0.80

01:28:56.340 was like uh i was all day i was like i was like yeah like i was just doing that shit nobody asked 0.75

01:29:02.200 me to do that yeah but i guess like performance is in my blood so i was like no one asked you to 0.80

01:29:06.480 do this and here you are dressed like and we are we are upset to be fair you're right you got me

01:29:13.200 there that's what i'm saying i'm like beautiful for some i love to cross dress so it is that it

01:29:18.720 is what it is you know okay next one says when jordan was 11 you were in a community theater

01:29:24.160 production of alice in wonderland and the director told you to take an improv class because you

01:29:28.540 didn't know how to ad lib that's what started my whole career no way yeah i did that's fun

01:29:33.220 theater i was in i was in yeah a theater camp because my parents worked uh during the day

01:29:38.420 and so i had to go somewhere and i went to my like local community theater camp i got alice

01:29:43.520 and threw the looking glass and then there was this scene where i was supposed to be like falling

01:29:46.180 down the hole you got alice can you believe yeah this is not you know i'm a natural blonde a lot

01:29:51.540 of people don't know this but i am a natural blonde i dye my hair brown and um so i was

01:29:55.660 pretty like fall down the hole or whatever and this woman this director is like yelling at me

01:29:59.700 like ad lib ad lib ad lib and i'm like 11 so i don't know what that means but you don't admit 1.00

01:30:05.200 that because that's embarrassing right so she's like ad lib and i'm like oh and she's like cut

01:30:12.760 cut cut she's like you're bad at improv you need to take an improv i'm 11 by the way yeah but of

01:30:18.260 course i was like you know i was like the director hates me i am bad at improv i'm gonna ask my

01:30:23.900 parents what that is and then take a class and my community theater the Fort Lauderdale Children's

01:30:27.960 Theater who's you know still very active today really like formed what I do today and you know

01:30:33.500 did so so much for me and they are the reason why I am where I am today and you are so good at

01:30:39.300 improv that's so good literally so nice thank you literally whenever we go see like anytime we go

01:30:44.740 see we go to the WNBA oh my god let me say that again sorry go to the WNBA games all the time

01:30:50.360 yeah and when they're like running out and it's like so cool i literally tell jordan i'm like

01:30:54.020 that is what it feels like when you go out and you do improv and i'm watching you're coming out

01:30:59.700 the tunnel yeah like when i watch them call you out for ask cat like this is what it's like

01:31:04.600 because there is like a scary moment like i know when we first started dating it's like okay it's

01:31:10.480 like the first time i'm gonna see jordan do improv and if she is a certain level of bad

01:31:14.900 no matter how much you're gonna get you yeah i cannot do that i feel the same way so relieved

01:31:20.580 when she's like the funniest improviser no genuinely it's it's funny you say that too

01:31:24.160 because when i first started dating my husband um my sister like i think we had been dating for like

01:31:29.440 a few months my sister goes i have to tell you something and i go what she is i don't think he's 0.81

01:31:34.820 that funny and i was like you need to take that right fucking back right now i'm not even kidding 0.90

01:31:39.960 this is me being so serious i'd rather them think he was ugly than think he's not funny i 0.99

01:31:43.660 fuck I look like being with an unfunny person are you nuts yeah I know I'm funnier but like 0.99

01:31:48.580 that's always going to be the case yeah we can't compare no fuck no and I literally remember the 1.00

01:31:52.720 next time I saw him I was like listen when you see my family next you better pull it out bitch 0.99

01:31:58.440 I better see top shelf jokes ho I'm not kidding I literally told him my sister thinks you're not 0.98

01:32:03.100 funny you better prove her wrong and it's funny because my my husband is so like objectively

01:32:08.480 handsome like he's objectively a very good looking guy so obviously naturally you would assume he's

01:32:12.860 not funny at all he is extremely funny but like he was doing these like I would say five to ten

01:32:18.780 jokes that I think would kill with the average person he needed some punch-ups that being said

01:32:25.040 you're talking to someone who comes from a family of comedians like literally my family is the

01:32:29.300 funniest people I've ever met so I was like whenever he would workshop those in random

01:32:33.820 conversation silence the way my family my family's never gonna pity laugh so like if it's not funny

01:32:39.300 it's silent yeah and so i remember she was like i have to tell you something like it was like she

01:32:44.680 was breaking the news cheated on you i just saw him i don't find him that funny so and it's funny

01:32:51.500 because she's one of the funniest people i've ever met so i was like i literally told him i was like 0.83

01:32:55.640 you better pull it fucking out we need a type 10 get that let out right now i was like you i better 0.95

01:33:02.000 see guffaws at the next fucking dinner otherwise this isn't gonna work i literally told him i can't 0.99

01:33:07.100 I yeah yeah he had married yeah we're married yeah we cleared that hurdle thank god it was it was it 0.98

01:33:13.000 was a dark period though for a minute I was like oh my god and I remember thinking I've been walking

01:33:17.520 around telling everyone how in love I am and they think hey guys it's Paige from Giggly Squad

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01:34:10.440 he's not funny i was like literally thinking i was like i can't have that

01:34:16.060 the only thing that's funny is what a joke he is

01:34:18.720 and even with taylor thomason when she was on my show the first time she i told her that we at he

01:34:25.500 i asked him who do you think's funnier between the two of us and he was like well you obviously

01:34:31.340 and i was like it's a good answer because that's the right answer yeah so i appreciate that and

01:34:35.540 then she was like well that would be insane if at this point in your career he was like probably 1.00

01:34:39.380 equal yeah me maybe 50 50 draw but you know so many female comedians husbands think that i just 0.98

01:34:48.120 know that they're like well she's a comedian but only because i haven't really tried i don't have 0.99

01:34:52.900 the time if i have the time it's a real like marvelous mrs mazel situation

01:34:56.420 okay i have one more fun fact this one's about kendall in high school kendall was in her nevada

01:35:05.180 high school improv league called comedy sports yes yeah interesting i was blending of worlds

01:35:11.620 comedy sports yes it was incredibly athletic no it was if you're doing improv right you're

01:35:19.060 getting on the ground you have to wear comfortable clothes it's very physical yes i was you know if

01:35:23.680 i have one regret in my life it's i should have been kinder those years um to the members of my

01:35:28.760 improv team i took right to camera there's a few people in specific i took that so seriously if

01:35:37.240 you've ever watched the dallas cowboys cheerleaders the woman that runs that that was me the second i

01:35:43.280 got an ounce of power in that group which once again it was it's a small group yeah so i was

01:35:47.920 really leading who was in charge he said guys myself in charge we got to take this seriously

01:35:52.100 and i was i was horrible i was like if you don't have the talent i literally remember

01:35:58.060 saying to girl you don't get in i'm not doing gimmies here you're not getting in the show

01:36:02.600 you're lucky i can let you come practice with it you're not getting put in a show because you've

01:36:07.400 been here a long time i don't care if you're graduating your mom's sick doesn't matter when 0.98

01:36:11.620 the lights come up honey i was fucking insane but you know who's gonna look bad me if i put you on 0.98

01:36:16.820 that stage and then people lose respect and then everyone wants to be in the show and but i will 0.90

01:36:20.900 tell you guess who would win we would win at those competitions when i was in charge we won and the

01:36:25.820 second i left oh i don't know if there's much winning i don't know i don't know i don't know

01:36:28.900 don't want to say it was all me but you know pattern recognition i guess you know it's funny

01:36:33.120 you said community theater and that too like uh it's my brother recently was in a community theater

01:36:37.940 production of high school musical oh that's and we were so fucking fired up for him he got troy

01:36:44.200 and Zeke so he was playing on different days which we were like blown away when he told us

01:36:49.560 he got both and then it's funny because later on like when he was in rehearsals when he's in tech

01:36:54.740 he was uh he texted my husband and he was like hey Billy do you think that you would ever want

01:36:59.880 to audition for high school musical like in the community there he asked my husband that

01:37:04.220 literally this year and my husband goes no no thank you he's like oh they just need more guys

01:37:11.420 so I figured mind you like my husband's in his 30s I'm like he's like no no no no no no but it

01:37:17.180 was funny because he I remember at one point he was telling us about rehearsals and stuff and he

01:37:21.220 was telling me and my sister that he was like yeah I was giving some pointers to other people

01:37:27.180 in the cast and we're like Jason was like wait like you were saying these out loud to other

01:37:31.980 people because he was like just telling us he goes well yeah I want them to get better yeah and she

01:37:36.280 was like okay but you don't know anything about acting so maybe don't like maybe don't and the

01:37:41.900 funniest thing about my brother he's like you don't know but he'll literally be like okay yeah

01:37:46.400 sure but even like we went and watched him it was funny there's probably maybe 30 people total in

01:37:51.860 there and my family's about 21 of them so like and then the director and the producer were two of

01:37:56.560 them so not many people but my family was there we all had shirts on oh like we were so excited

01:38:01.680 we were kind of pissed off because they switched him to zeke that night instead of troy which we

01:38:05.880 were annoyed about but like we went and we watched him and it's funny because the whole production

01:38:09.880 he was in a completely different outfit like the other two leads are in the same exact uniform and

01:38:15.900 then he's in his own clothes and i was and he had a backpack on nobody else had that so like they

01:38:21.600 had they had uniforms and they also had letterman jackets my brother's not wearing any of that we're

01:38:25.320 like and so like my brother obviously he's so special and he's so funny but he's been bullied

01:38:29.940 before like in school so when we were like talking about it we were like that's so mean like they

01:38:35.220 didn't include him like in the in the uniforms like my mom was like don't worry i'm going to

01:38:38.740 talk to him about it and mind you like he kills he did a great job we finished the show afterwards

01:38:43.760 this is a separate story but like we were all waiting 21 of us i'm not kidding that is 21 of

01:38:48.040 us in this production we're all waiting we have flowers like suffered to give him and then he's

01:38:52.320 walking to his car my dad sees him outside because my dad went to get something from his own car

01:38:57.200 he passes my brother like that like my brother walks just walks right past him my dad goes hey

01:39:01.800 where are you going he goes i'm exhausted i'm going home my dad goes there's 20 people get 0.95

01:39:09.200 your ass inside he's like did you see everyone he goes who your family they're waiting for you 0.94

01:39:14.700 he goes oh walks back so when i i remember like my mom drove him afterwards she was like oh i'll 1.00

01:39:21.520 ride with him and she was like oh let's go to in and out it's like late like and we'll talk about

01:39:26.160 we'll debrief the show my brother's like oh can you drive i'm exhausted my mom goes okay she's

01:39:30.480 She goes, hey, so like, did they not include you

01:39:33.440 like in the uniform thing?

01:39:34.700 Like, what was that?

01:39:35.540 He goes, oh, like the Letterman jacket and stuff?

01:39:36.980 She goes, yeah.

01:39:37.820 He goes, oh, it's in my trunk.

01:39:39.980 My mom goes, it's in the trunk of your car right now?

01:39:41.900 He goes, yeah, I just,

01:39:43.180 I just felt like Zeke would be wearing this.

01:39:46.540 I felt like this is more like his vibe.

01:39:49.380 He had a vision, the character.

01:39:51.040 My mom goes, why don't you wear 1.00

01:39:52.440 the fucking outfit they gave you? 1.00

01:39:54.300 And then he goes, I just thought I knew better, so. 1.00

01:39:57.460 And so my mom's like, just put on the fucking clothes. 0.99

01:39:59.760 because he looks like he looked like he didn't even go to the school like i already filed a 0.99

01:40:03.840 report if you could just put you're getting bullied and you're making creative choices like 0.97

01:40:09.220 what the fuck so my mom went to every single show there was like four of them and she said like the 0.99

01:40:13.580 next one she went to to see him he was wearing like a headband because he has really long hair 0.99

01:40:17.360 so he's wearing a headband it was black he sweats a lot so it was like catching a lot of the sweat

01:40:20.800 my mom says that the next one she goes to he goes out he's in the uniform granted he did have the

01:40:26.320 letterman jacket on and stuff but his headband it was black in the first like time she saw him yeah

01:40:30.940 he goes behind stage comes back different outfit bright blue headband oh and it's like the the

01:40:36.660 opposite team is blue so it's confusing but he has a whole behind the scenes he said zeke was

01:40:41.400 like maybe i should switch schools my dad's getting divorced from my mom and i don't know

01:40:45.900 maybe maybe that's the character work i'm working on so then he goes back my mom goes he goes back 0.99

01:40:50.240 comes out light gray headband uh-huh comes back goes around again stripes bro what the fuck i was 0.85

01:40:56.260 he's doing wig changes back there yeah and then my mom goes yeah when i asked him why are you doing 0.99

01:41:01.140 creative shit again with the outfit he goes no all the black ones are dirty so i just had to 0.95

01:41:05.980 switch them and my mom was like every act why are you switching every go back to the black ones 0.99

01:41:11.120 all that to say my brother is an artist so i love it's in the family and that's what he's a scar

01:41:15.860 scar at the end of the day yeah so i i commend i love that you were in community theater because 0.56

01:41:21.760 my brother was having a fucking blast like doing it and they'll really do whatever i'll never forget

01:41:26.320 i'm i'm my friend who's still one of our good friends my friend alexa who i grew up with 0.97

01:41:30.380 her mom patty who has since passed away who is such a wonderful woman she worked at the community

01:41:35.160 theater directed all the shows and i'll never forget she called me on the phone and she said

01:41:38.760 okay you know we're doing beauty and the beast i know you auditioned i i want to pitch something

01:41:42.780 that's a little different but i think it's you know going to be really cool for you and i was

01:41:46.680 like okay i'm listening and she was like it is a lead and i was like perfect i'll do it and she

01:41:50.920 was like it's um lefou who is the kind of little olive of a man that follows gaston around yeah 0.58

01:41:57.420 the gay the gay guy the gay little chubby guy and i'm like a 13 year old girl right so i think 0.70

01:42:03.800 she's like right now and i was like no no this is perfect i can really sink my teeth into this 0.95

01:42:06.740 you're so me like oh good i'm getting something different than everyone else right i'm a star

01:42:11.440 and it's still a lead so that's what i care about i was so excited it was the first like

01:42:14.680 comedic role i had ever done yeah um which really like once again like really changed the trajectory

01:42:20.300 of my life and she saw that in me and gave me that she saw the lefou within me and on the outside of

01:42:28.760 me and she let me do it and i just remember there were things where like i remember one rehearsal i

01:42:32.760 stood up and i was like i just feel like during this dance number right now it's choreographed

01:42:36.600 where i'm dancing with everyone else but i am a lead and i think it would make more sense if i

01:42:42.000 was doing cartwheel round off cart across the stage during this number yeah and of course all

01:42:48.000 the adults are like whatever you want completely fine okay sure that's fine and i would come out

01:42:53.300 during curtain call and my hair was in like you know a little ponytail or whatever i would come

01:42:57.660 out during curtain call and i would take my hair out of my hair as if i was doing like a big reveal

01:43:03.520 that i was a girl if my acting had been so and everyone would be like oh yeah people thought i

01:43:07.580 was an adult man playing this role um but it really once again it's like it really i think

01:43:12.940 stuff like that is so important i agree it lets you do that kind of stuff and like i agree it's

01:43:17.300 So it's not just fun, it's really confidence building.

01:43:20.860 It builds your confidence, and there's no confidence like that age.

01:43:23.820 I agree.

01:43:24.740 I feel like now I'm kind of successful, and I still am like, 0.99

01:43:27.860 well, I'm an idiot loser, and I don't have anything. 0.98

01:43:29.620 Yeah, you feel less confident as you get older. 1.00

01:43:31.580 Versus when I was on that improv team, I'm not even kidding.

01:43:35.440 I would walk through the hall.

01:43:36.640 I was on the improv team.

01:43:37.840 I was a virgin, if you could believe it.

01:43:39.840 I'm walking through the halls.

01:43:41.320 I'm going, everyone is looking at me.

01:43:43.320 No pictures, please.

01:43:44.580 Literally, I was thinking, and everyone's going, well, there she goes. 1.00

01:43:47.300 She's going to be incredibly successful as a comedian. 1.00

01:43:51.140 Nicole Kidman Jr. over there.

01:43:54.080 These people do not know my name.

01:43:55.940 I think I am so good.

01:43:58.380 And then I remember just blind confidence

01:44:00.820 where I would audition every year for the musical.

01:44:03.280 And I was, Jordan can tell you,

01:44:05.780 how bad am I at singing, honey?

01:44:07.180 I am bad at singing.

01:44:09.420 I would audition every year for the lead.

01:44:10.920 Me too.

01:44:11.760 I wouldn't even audition for,

01:44:12.520 oh, maybe they'll give me a minor,

01:44:13.520 but I would only, I said,

01:44:14.520 I'm clearly only gonna do a lead.

01:44:15.620 People would be confused.

01:44:16.800 Don't let them offer only.

01:44:17.640 If they come.

01:44:20.260 I would never get,

01:44:21.200 and then it would always be some made up thing.

01:44:23.520 The poor teacher would come in and be like,

01:44:25.780 okay, sweetheart, we're gonna do something new this year

01:44:28.720 called student director.

01:44:29.700 There's no small roles, only small actors.

01:44:33.040 So you're gonna stand next to me

01:44:34.140 and you won't be in the show,

01:44:35.080 but you'll kind of make the show what it is.

01:44:37.320 And then you'll be like, you know what?

01:44:38.380 You're so right.

01:44:39.220 I'm too big for this.

01:44:40.060 Yeah, exactly.

01:44:40.900 If I make the show what it is,

01:44:42.540 someone's gotta do it.

01:44:44.900 And then I'm telling everyone,

01:44:45.740 Well, you know, they've never had a student director

01:44:48.080 before this young.

01:44:49.220 Right.

01:44:50.060 But they kind of decided this year would be,

01:44:52.660 this is the year.

01:44:53.500 Because I, obviously I'm different

01:44:54.800 than something that's happened before. 1.00

01:44:55.880 And I just was an asshole. 0.99

01:44:57.840 It's beautiful. 1.00

01:44:58.680 It's the most beautiful thing.

01:44:59.580 And I think that's like a common thread we share,

01:45:02.000 like being in this industry.

01:45:03.340 Like, because I joke about it a lot where I'm like,

01:45:05.520 we definitely, you have to love attention to some extent

01:45:07.860 in this industry in order to keep doing it

01:45:09.460 and sustain doing it.

01:45:10.940 But like, there is a line obviously.

01:45:13.300 Yeah.

01:45:14.140 i've had the exact same experiences in terms of like stage production anything like that like

01:45:18.960 there was this big play we used to do in elementary school and my sister got a main role

01:45:22.820 when um like the year before me so i remember thinking i'm gonna go for that one like it was

01:45:27.540 like there were two main girls and two main guys and she got one of the best ones because that was

01:45:30.880 the funny one yeah and i remember i went and auditioned and i was like obviously no other

01:45:35.740 role just that one i was the same way i was like no i don't need a background i'm gonna do that one

01:45:39.580 and then i did the audition i don't even remember what it was but i remember leaving 0.99

01:45:43.580 and telling all my friends i fucking nailed it yeah fucking nailed that shit bro i literally was 0.98

01:45:49.080 like it's really just a matter of who's gonna be my understudy i'm like telling everyone like i was 0.99

01:45:53.580 so confident bitch i didn't get one role sure i didn't even get a small one they put me in the 0.95

01:45:57.720 chorus i was like oh and they put me in the back because i was humongous yeah because i was five 0.99

01:46:01.740 two yeah so i literally they put me in the back and i remember thinking they don't even know what

01:46:05.580 they're missing like well and then you're mad you're so mad i remember when i didn't get cast

01:46:09.600 in Greece oh lord it was I was awful I was awful of course I only wanted to be Sandy I said I'll

01:46:17.760 be the lead and then I didn't get in and I had the audacity to try to get other people who had 0.92

01:46:22.000 been cast to talk shit with me being like and I'm sure you're you saw you know you're not as good as 0.69

01:46:28.420 me and I remember crying I remember sitting I remember calling my best friend Dylan and saying 0.99

01:46:33.960 meet me at the college we had a community college in our town that had a koi pond I said meet me at 1.00

01:46:37.780 damn koi pond i'm crying there he's been cast and i'm like what are they are they idiots are they 1.00

01:46:45.040 idiots let's do a walkout you're like let's stage a coup they can't keep getting away with this it's 1.00

01:46:50.780 just you i'm sure in his mind being like well you're the youngest person auditioned you're 1.00

01:46:54.420 horrible at singing you're not as talented as you think you are singing is kind of a big part of it

01:46:59.440 so and you're like okay that being said i do wish i always i'm like god wouldn't it be nice if they

01:47:05.200 did just kind of like an adult production of like little shop of horrors that was just all

01:47:09.960 personality driven you know i would love that because it would be my dream to be able to be

01:47:14.820 on broadway but i can't sing for shit i feel like and if you're listening any producers out there

01:47:19.760 hello i feel like here we go this portion of the interview together with some other successful 0.58

01:47:25.120 people who are not good at singing right i think we could get kind of like a a personality only

01:47:29.880 i think broadway but jordan's good at singing i'm okay i know you are good and you know what

01:47:36.200 i'm sure you are because everyone who talks like that and anyone who talks like us is for real 0.98

01:47:40.780 but when you talk like that you can sing like when we talk i can't sing for shit like it's 0.97

01:47:44.820 no i bet you can say i can i'm not toned up i can sing fine but i had to accept at a young age 0.98

01:47:51.000 that i was not good enough at singing to be the lead or do musical theater for a career me too

01:47:57.640 you know yeah so you and i are in that same boat yeah but i do love broadway i love broadway like

01:48:02.080 one night only you don't think they would let us do little shot of course they're letting anybody

01:48:05.500 do one night only not us but yeah some fun right and we're all in it we get some other people that

01:48:12.180 you know aren't good at singing and we all do it together well that's not i'm like broadway

01:48:16.080 yeah one night just one night one night a little theater well but you know i think you don't think

01:48:21.480 we could sell it a broadway theater please it's bigger than that yeah they're not that big

01:48:25.960 oh you think we could sell out broadway it's for a charity one night only i think we could do it

01:48:30.880 i think someone's listening that will think it's a good idea and i think they should contact i think

01:48:34.660 so too and there's no singing whatsoever but if we do then you guys praise my singing no matter

01:48:39.300 we do it like singing in the rain where we're all mouthing it the songs and then someone's behind

01:48:43.680 the curtain actually singing yes yes we could do an ashley simpson on snl kind of deal absolutely

01:48:47.880 yeah i would love that we're just talking about lip singing but i would love that we cast the

01:48:51.860 real singers they stand behind their curtain i go out there yeah yeah and i was or i was like i

01:48:55.900 don't know there's no there's no like quirky best friend that doesn't sing yeah come on come on

01:49:01.020 throw it to me i can do it yeah all three of us can do it listen i'm this time next year we will

01:49:06.340 have a one night on the broadway show i really like feel it i do you know it's gonna hurt when

01:49:12.020 everyone does it and we don't get invited they're like that's a great idea let's pick other people

01:49:16.780 yeah it's an awesome idea okay well did you find the facts fun oh we do i live with you is fun

01:49:24.720 okay no worries amanda you still have a job oh she's not even in here well amanda you'll see 0.94

01:49:29.100 yeah she quit before she got fired she knew well thank y'all so much for coming back i fucking

01:49:34.140 love y'all we love you you're the best and we feel so honored to be here i am so like genuinely 0.58

01:49:40.420 grateful to have crossed paths with y'all but i also think that the two of you are so wonderful

01:49:46.780 and so talented and i like really do think that you guys are going to do something huge like i

01:49:51.900 really do believe that in my soul and this is the place where we manifest everything oh yeah so i do

01:49:57.060 want to ask you guys have any advice for any aspiring comedians writers or any anyone in

01:50:01.880 between oh my gosh i love that go ahead you can go first always be early oh tea

01:50:10.300 that's a big one I would say so many of the jobs that I've gotten in this industry are solely just

01:50:15.680 because other people don't show up on time and act professional that's such a great point I think

01:50:20.240 it's like a really underrated things that it's a really underrated thing that people really

01:50:24.200 appreciate and remember and just be nice to everybody you never know who you're gonna work 0.70

01:50:27.840 with again that's a big one you know I know people say shit like that but it really is true

01:50:31.280 I audition so rarely I mostly book things through people I've worked with that have had a good

01:50:39.840 experience working with me yeah and i know it's similar for you as well and i think a lot of our

01:50:44.020 friends are like that too it's true and it makes such a big impact if you're not coming from this

01:50:48.440 background of already being connected in the industry yeah don't be fake you know but go like

01:50:53.640 be nice be respectful introduce yourself to your pa like you know introduce yourself to the people

01:50:58.760 doing the sound like just be nice and normal and show up on time and do your job and be prepared

01:51:03.660 when you get there you know know your lines do a good job and um also like do what you want to be

01:51:09.140 doing don't feel like you have to replicate what other comedians or artists are doing and your

01:51:13.200 manager might be trying to tell you to do that yeah sometimes you gotta do your own thing yeah

01:51:18.120 period i think maybe a little more vague those are such good tips but i guess generally i'm like

01:51:24.840 i think don't be precious with anything you do because i that's so good that's a really good

01:51:30.440 point i think that people can get very uh picky about what they want to put out and it can feel

01:51:36.480 really intimidating when you haven't put anything out and you're like okay i want to this is my big

01:51:39.880 reveal of my art and i think just realizing that it's really not so complicated and it's more about

01:51:46.920 the only way that you're going to grow is if you put out that art that isn't that good you're

01:51:51.060 never going to release your first thing and be like this is the best i'll ever do we need bad

01:51:55.640 art too on a separate note people love that i'm telling you some of the my favorite movies are

01:52:00.960 horrible i think my the movie that inspires me the most is mike and dave need wedding dates

01:52:06.200 if you've ever seen it yeah i might have told you about it in the past i love that movie it's

01:52:10.280 my favorite movie i thought it's like zach efron right oh yeah who i think divine yep is that who

01:52:14.380 it is yes who zach efron i think i'm sorry i think he's one of the greatest comedic actors

01:52:18.720 of our time he's funny he's funny it's kind of like the rock like the rock is so funny like

01:52:23.740 naturally yeah john cena great one hit a certain level of being in shape that you become funny

01:52:28.780 you know what's funny is like on that same note mike and dave need wedding day it's like

01:52:33.960 my sister and i love the movie ricky stenicky yes yeah which like it's it literally i've told

01:52:39.600 so many people watch it it's fucking hilarious and then like someone i know watched it and they

01:52:43.980 go i think i need to watch it with you like i think i need i'm like you don't get it okay but 0.72

01:52:48.000 you don't get you don't get john cena like i get john cena i know i saw it four times in theaters

01:52:52.240 because i kept bringing my friends i'll go i'll rent it no no no it's a movie you need to see 1.00

01:52:58.060 on the big screen and i need to watch you watch it and then it's just like the dumbest fucking 0.98

01:53:04.840 movie and i'm like that movie inspires me so much because i'm like that is my favorite movie right 0.98

01:53:10.680 it's not because it's good it's not because it's perfectly written by any means it's not because

01:53:15.640 the acting is great it's just i like it and i think there's so funny it's so fun and that is

01:53:20.720 like what we're doing here with art is like it's supposed to make bring people joy right or make

01:53:25.180 people really sad i guess but what we're doing is to make people laugh so i think for a comedian

01:53:29.320 just don't take something so seriously that is not supposed to be serious i agree that's that's

01:53:34.720 great advice and i honestly think the note too about putting it out like just getting started

01:53:39.300 is also a huge thing i tell people too because i'm like you'll talk your way out of anything like

01:53:44.260 you can delay anything as many times as you want and i always like when people ask me like how do

01:53:49.420 i get started on a podcast i always tell them before you buy anything mics cameras lights any 0.94

01:53:54.460 that shit set up your phone and see if you can talk for 40 minutes by yourself just see see where 0.85

01:54:00.280 it goes see how it sounds like watch it back like because that will tell you whether or not you 0.99

01:54:05.160 should be doing a podcast first of all but second of all i think it will inform you of what you want

01:54:10.020 like how you present on camera like that kind of thing and i think the same thing with bad art like

01:54:14.860 we need it put it out there yes i thought the same thing when i watched end of oak street have you

01:54:19.140 guys watched that no not yet we wanted to please watch it i would love to know your thoughts we 0.81

01:54:23.920 that's the dinosaur one yes oh my god Anne Hathaway yes because it's fucking insane like

01:54:29.840 I remember being and not in a fun way I was literally like this is one of the worst movies 0.51

01:54:34.060 ever but also three and a half stars on letterbox come on I had a ball I had a ball watching that

01:54:39.080 show in the movie I like I talk about it being like I watch or listen to enjoy not to critique

01:54:46.080 yes sometimes I'm watching to enjoy I was like that being said I had a blast it was terrible

01:54:51.280 I had a blast some of the one of the maddest moments of my life have I was excited to see

01:54:57.980 the movie Anaconda you know the new oh yes of course I do I'm hearing all these little whispers 0.98

01:55:02.300 oh it's it's fucking trash oh it's bad it's not even worth going to see I said I don't believe 0.98

01:55:06.720 it the trailer was hilarious I gotta go see this I had to be shushed I was laughing so hard 1.00

01:55:13.120 it was the funniest I thought I was gonna have to sit on her she's thrashing in the chair she's 0.92

01:55:17.900 My popcorn was flying. 0.99

01:55:20.220 It was hysterical.

01:55:21.960 It was hysterical.

01:55:23.100 And I left and I said,

01:55:24.000 I would like to personally scream 0.62

01:55:26.160 at every person who told me that was a bad movie.

01:55:28.140 That's not what the movie was.

01:55:30.020 This is a remake.

01:55:31.320 This is a movie with Jack Black and Paul Rudd

01:55:35.660 where they're remaking Anaconda.

01:55:37.720 It's not supposed to be some amazing movie.

01:55:40.860 It's not an Oscar nominated film.

01:55:42.580 No, it was so funny.

01:55:44.020 When he is, when he, I could cry talking about it.

01:55:46.860 when he has the when he's attached I'm sorry I haven't seen it no you haven't seen it no I

01:55:54.140 love Jack Black like Jack Black is one of my favorite comedic actors oh my god I think he's

01:56:01.340 one of the funniest people and I love Paul Rudd too Paul Rudd is so funny oh you're gonna love

01:56:05.940 well this is a bit of a spoiler for Anaconda but no no I have to you can tell me you can tell me

01:56:10.680 I don't care about spoilers it's like Jack Black they think he's dead like they think he's dead

01:56:15.560 And then so they attach.

01:56:17.120 I'm sorry.

01:56:17.880 They attach because, wait, why?

01:56:19.260 Is there a big snake or something?

01:56:20.920 They have to try to get the snake distracted so they can go over here. 0.61

01:56:24.660 So Jack Black said, so they're like, well, let's attach this dead pig to his head and 0.73

01:56:28.740 then have him use him as bait. 1.00

01:56:30.940 And they put the, is it his penis? 1.00

01:56:33.900 His tail. 1.00

01:56:35.400 Oh, the pig's tail.

01:56:36.380 The pig's tail.

01:56:36.940 Got you.

01:56:37.280 Are you sure?

01:56:38.000 I think so.

01:56:38.640 Anyways, they put the tail in his mouth.

01:56:40.800 And then they're running.

01:56:42.260 And he's getting chased by a snake.

01:56:43.440 And then Jack Black wakes up.

01:56:44.740 He's not dead. 0.90

01:56:45.560 and he starts running and then the pig wakes up

01:56:48.180 and the pig's screaming

01:56:49.140 and they're both screaming and running.

01:56:51.200 I, oh, I couldn't even.

01:56:52.820 That's literally how I felt when we watched Ricky Stinnicky.

01:56:55.860 Bro, I'm not kidding.

01:56:57.840 The part in Ricky Stinnicky, 0.99

01:56:58.980 this is a spoiler, but I don't give a fuck 0.98

01:57:00.200 because nobody watched that movie and nobody cared. 0.97

01:57:02.260 But like, there's a part where there's like a woman,

01:57:04.660 they're like, you know when her hair is just like

01:57:06.440 a little too long, like where it's like creepy,

01:57:09.300 which I think is a funny joke just by itself.

01:57:11.120 Like where her hair goes so straight, like you're creepy.

01:57:13.340 That's funny.

01:57:13.860 but he literally they all talk about how this girl's hair is too long and it's it makes her

01:57:18.880 creepy and then john cena's character is the only one who like tells her to her face and he's like

01:57:24.140 yeah you know maybe you should get a haircut like a bob or something and she's like oh like do you

01:57:29.320 think i'd look good with a bob he goes i don't really know i just know that uh your hair i mean 1.00

01:57:33.880 the hair the way it looks now he's like you look like a freaking loon i laugh when i tell you bitch 0.98

01:57:39.920 i laughed so hard i had to pause the movie because i couldn't hear anything i literally was like 0.99

01:57:43.720 Wait, pause, pause, pause. 0.99

01:57:44.560 And I was like, holy fuck. 1.00

01:57:47.120 Cause he's literally like being so serious and genuine. 1.00

01:57:49.460 And he goes, you look like a frigging loon. 1.00

01:57:51.820 Holy fuck. 1.00

01:57:52.880 It's not even that funny. 1.00

01:57:54.040 I literally was crying, laughing.

01:57:55.780 I called my sister.

01:57:56.620 I go, this movie is so funny.

01:57:58.520 She's like, I told you.

01:57:59.740 That's like me.

01:58:01.180 If I'm at any Minions movie.

01:58:03.220 Oh, we love.

01:58:04.060 Jordan is like, girl, don't even look at my sister's phone case.

01:58:06.620 My sister has a Minion phone case.

01:58:08.320 She has the Soros, the Minion collab.

01:58:10.660 And you have good taste cause I'm telling you.

01:58:12.500 and I really believe this, as an artiste,

01:58:15.740 the Minions are the Mr. Beans of our time.

01:58:18.000 That's such a good point.

01:58:19.440 They literally, it's not funny.

01:58:22.060 He is so underrated.

01:58:23.200 Mr. Bean is still alive.

01:58:24.740 Kendall says this all the time.

01:58:26.460 Yeah, but he's like, isn't he like-

01:58:27.400 He's an alt-right freak, yeah.

01:58:28.340 Okay, so now we have the Minions.

01:58:30.580 And also I get what you mean, 1.00

01:58:31.500 because at the time everyone was like fucking stupid 1.00

01:58:33.920 about Mr. Bean. 1.00

01:58:35.260 And then afterward they're like, low-key comedic genius.

01:58:38.120 Kind of like P.B. Herman, where like after the fact,

01:58:40.800 it was like, well, low-key, he's hilarious. 0.97

01:58:42.500 classic yeah so the minions my sister does not fucking play about them no because they're fun 0.99

01:58:46.760 she's only given two movies this year four stars on litter box and one of them was the minions and 1.00

01:58:52.140 monsters what was the other one cameo that's lesbian of course so there you go of course 1.00

01:58:58.880 that's why she literally was like the minions movies dude like she's even told me like she 0.95

01:59:03.700 loves the trolls oh i love the trolls the puss in boots franchise who you say i look like i've

01:59:08.680 never seen trolls i you remind me of princess poppy sometimes poppy i don't know poppy and

01:59:13.620 branch yeah i assume she's a gorgeous troll i don't know we have poppy and branch energy yeah

01:59:19.220 don't don't look don't look her up but yes she's gorgeous yeah uh but i love i love that y'all love

01:59:24.460 bad art good art everything in between yeah because why isn't it art that's what i'm saying

01:59:28.960 all of it is he are like i'm being 100 what about it like why do i have to watch a british actor

01:59:35.100 pretend to be american and do this like really like serious movie where like he's a straight

01:59:39.980 actor but he's doing a movie about the aids crisis like right i'm not saying that shouldn't

01:59:44.180 be made but i'm just like why is that art but because who decided because i'm never watching

01:59:48.640 that again i can tell you that was a made-up movie i would watch that one time and i would

01:59:52.700 say thank god that's over it's like what i told you about hobson shaw where i'm like they're like

01:59:57.000 have you seen like the artist i'm like no but have you seen hobson have you seen this artist 0.98

02:00:01.700 yeah yeah listen i'll show you what fucking artist bitch oh my god yeah i think it's good 0.98

02:00:06.580 i think art should people should be more comfortable with allowing art to bring them 0.99

02:00:10.600 joy and i think we've moved away from that i think also even in books that's why i love the

02:00:14.260 books i read so much because i'm like too i used to be like i hate reading i hate reading because

02:00:17.940 people were always like well have you read like moby dick or something and i'm like or self-help

02:00:22.400 books they're like that's all you're allowed to read is non-fiction after a certain point

02:00:26.020 right why no as if every time i go down to sit and watch tv i want to watch an oscar-nominated

02:00:31.020 film most of the time i'm watching garbage right that's what i want to be reading and i've talked

02:00:35.380 about how i like things like family guy like i think family guy is so funny like there are some

02:00:39.760 jokes that crack me the fuck up and i think to myself you know what that's just a well-rounded

02:00:45.420 artist when you like it all but it's such and i'll tell you when i sometimes will like go this

02:00:51.360 is pretty like comedy nerd but i'll like look up uh one-liners from tv shows that i love and just

02:00:57.480 So I kind of study the format of them and like hat-wise or whatever.

02:01:01.800 And Family Guy, I was not allowed to watch Family Guy growing up.

02:01:05.060 But I will study their scripts.

02:01:08.180 And I have to insert different.

02:01:09.740 Like, I'm like, okay, I would never say that.

02:01:11.420 But I'll like study the Family Guy scripts to be like, there is such an art.

02:01:14.840 It's so, it is so technical that there's scripts of those shows.

02:01:18.860 I agree. 0.91

02:01:19.380 I fucking love y'all. 0.97

02:01:20.280 Y'all are like the funniest and the sweetest. 0.98

02:01:22.140 I am wishing nothing but the world for y'all.

02:01:24.480 But we're all going to grow old together.

02:01:25.820 So I'll see it.

02:01:26.420 I'm going to see it myself.

02:01:27.200 can't wait and when we're on broadway i'll be laughing then oh i'll be laughing

02:01:31.220 she's gonna take out your ponytail at the curtain call exactly take it i say you tell me what my 0.77

02:01:37.040 gender is well thank y'all so much for coming on the show again i fucking love y'all anytime we 0.72

02:01:43.620 love you thank you so much for having us oh my gosh anytime uh for maybe the two straight people

02:01:47.600 that have never heard of you where can they find you we're on every social media platform you can

02:01:52.500 listen to our podcast happy wife happy life on patreon on that i've been on yes fan favorite

02:01:58.080 episode yeah um and you honestly that's such a fan favorite episode we made the like ad for

02:02:02.560 extended version available on patreon for free oh my god no way yeah you can go check out our

02:02:06.580 fun listen to it because it's one of our most popular episodes we want everyone to be able to

02:02:09.800 get access to it and then on socials we're hwhl podcast yes and your personal socials and then

02:02:15.960 yeah which is our names jordan myrick j-o-r-d-a-n-m-y-r-1 c-k my full name was taken

02:02:22.380 And then my name, Kendall Landry.

02:02:24.000 Yeah.

02:02:24.420 Period.

02:02:25.000 Well, thank you all so much for coming on again.

02:02:26.700 I love and adore y'all.

02:02:28.260 And thank you all so much for tuning in to this episode of the comment section.

02:02:31.280 Don't forget, new episodes drop every Wednesday.

02:02:33.260 You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, but the video lists are free and

02:02:35.960 exclusively on our favorite platform, YouTube.

02:02:38.040 Thank you so much to Kendall and Jordan for being amazing.

02:02:40.180 Thank you so much for tuning in, and I'll see you next week.

02:02:41.780 Bye.

02:02:42.020 Bye.

02:02:42.340 Bye.

02:02:51.880 Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad.

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The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - October 14, 2026

LOW-GRADE HORNY Ft. Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick ｜ Episode 243

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