00:07:31.800And as soon as someone's like, yeah, we can do it your way, but just kind of more like this, I'm like, oh, well, then it's not my way, is it?
00:07:46.740But I also like, I've had so many friends of different times with qualities I admire that I've learned to kind of like selectively micromanage.
00:07:59.720Like if I'm going to hire a glam team or a PR person or whomever, I really like to trust that they know how to do their job and not try to micromanage things and then only speak if absolutely necessary.
00:08:46.340Like I was still doing all of that stuff myself because I was like, I need to be able to control and know where we're going, when we're going, that kind of thing.
00:08:52.620When I got a travel agent, I was like, whoa.
00:08:55.880When you're at the place where you can start hiring a team and delegating things, what it means is you get to focus way more on the creative aspects of your job and being your best self.
00:09:21.940And then two, it's like, I know that this person has always wanted to do this and so they get to come with me and we're all having fun doing this.
00:11:04.860You know, the kid version of me had really come to accept that not all of this was going to be possible, either because I was queer or because of the body I was born in or the perception of who I was.
00:15:04.080And then as soon as I started putting a bunch of cashews in a blender, which is the first step, mind you, I was like, oh, why did I agree with this?
00:15:51.460My man described the other day, he was like, you're the most type A person I've ever met, but you're also like extremely type B about very specific things.
00:18:57.340Like when you work in film and TV, it's about getting the very perfect delivery of every single line and weaving this tapestry, knowing that it will live forever.
00:19:09.480But live entertainment is like part of the experience is knowing that everything that happens tonight, even if it's well rehearsed, is completely unique because there's no way to do it exactly the same.
00:19:24.080That's such a beautiful way of looking at it.
00:19:25.640And the spontaneity, the aliveness of it is part of the craft.
00:19:33.080And Oh, Mary is so meticulously written and directed and styled and everything about it is the best of the best people putting their passion into it.
00:19:48.420Kola Skola and Sam Pinkleton, they were a dream team.
00:23:45.700And now I'm almost 40, and I have to sing eight times a week and big songs, and I'm not using my, like, when I was young, I could just sing however I want and shout, and tomorrow I'll sound just fine.
00:24:03.500Like, now I'm using technique more than ever.
00:24:06.300So it's like, you can become better at something, but Virgos don't like to start at something that we don't believe we're going to be good at.
00:32:58.960So she said, you know, it's just about intention.
00:33:02.280But she said specifically, it's about, in her definition, your connection to the divine feminine.
00:33:11.200And that does not mean only women can practice witchcraft.
00:33:14.640But it's acknowledging that witchcraft is an acknowledgement of femininity as the divine source of creation.
00:33:25.140But motherhood is where it all begins.
00:33:28.180And with Pam, our spell that we cast was very much about liberating the divine feminine, cleansing the divine masculine that's become, he's become a little, he's become a little jaded, you know, a little toxic.
00:33:51.940So, I really think we're in this, like, shift of consciousness towards gender and all this upset and all this fighting was just preparing us to realize that it wasn't worth it in the first place.
00:34:11.800And also, I, I, I love that, too, because even, um, one time there was someone that I, uh, do not like because they're a bad person and a bigot.
00:34:21.400Like, but they were talking shit on me or, like, basically implying they were talking shit on me, but for no reason.
00:34:27.700Like, me and this person are not friends.
00:34:40.360And so she taught me how to, she told me to write, like, intention, like, their name on a piece of paper, write, like, what I don't want them to do.
00:34:47.460And she was, like, I never use this spell to, like, cause harm to anyone, which you can include in the prayer or whatever when you put it in the jar.
00:34:53.620She had me write it all on a piece of paper, fold it up a million times, put it in a jar.
00:34:57.600Then I put a bunch of, like, sour things in there, like, uh, just, like, bitter, tart things in there.
00:36:24.540I feel the same way because I think to myself, too, I'm like, even if this isn't actually doing anything, let's just say, it makes me feel better to do it this way.
00:36:34.640And then the more you practice it, the less you question it, the more you just kind of, you don't have that conversation with yourself of, like, worrying if it's logical or practical.
00:37:03.680And it's not harming me or anyone around me.
00:37:07.260And in fact, like, ever since I've started practicing witchcraft, it's made me so much more conscious of my impact on my environment, my impact on other people.
00:37:38.160I pray to, like, my ancestors, the universe, right, the spirit, right?
00:37:42.500And I always ask for guidance, especially in my career, like, ever since I started doing this.
00:37:46.500I've done that forever, like, as long as I can remember.
00:37:48.480But ever since I started doing this, especially, I've been very intentional in my prayers and how I how and when I say them, like, and what I'm asking for.
00:37:56.260I just want to be very clear about, like, direction.
00:37:58.960And every single time I've asked for guidance on on a very specific, like, business decision or, like, deal I want to do or maybe I'm on the fence about, I always get an answer and a very clear, stark answer.
00:38:10.940And then that always ends up being the right answer, which is, like you said, just in practice and doing it.
00:38:16.760It's like, well, now I don't need to question it.
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00:39:07.520I have had multiple times where a really cool offer has come my way, but it meant it meant pulling out of other projects that I had already committed myself to.
00:39:19.840And I've just never operated that way.
00:39:22.840And I was like, I can't just because the opportunities are bigger now, I can't change my ethics.
00:40:51.860And I feel like when we're there, there's like malama da aina, which is like to love the island, which is also it's kapu, which is tabu, to take things from the island, specifically nature, right?
00:41:03.460So you should never take anything from a beach, like shells, flowers, whatever it is.
00:41:08.460Like you should never take from it because it will come and take something from you.
00:41:11.840Like you'll be basically punished or cursed.
00:41:13.820And so I remember one time we were in Hawaii and my brother, my little brother, he was young at the time, but we were there.
00:41:19.900And he was taking rocks out of the ocean to like go stack on the beach, which like that's not taking it from Hawaii, but still you're removing it from where it was.
00:41:27.540And I kept telling him, stop doing that.
00:42:01.660And then he went and put all the rocks back in the ocean.
00:42:03.680Well, I like to say, and I think hearing you talk about all of this, it feels very much like, of course, this is how a Virgo would relate to magic.
00:42:18.360It's like, it just makes logical sense, you know.
00:59:18.840That's when I remember, I'm like, this is a made-up job, it's okay.
00:59:22.000This is a made-up job, and everything's going to be okay.
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01:00:18.840Okay, my favorite online trend right now is this trend where it's like friends, couples, whatever, but mostly friends.
01:00:26.060I've been seeing lots of girls do it with their girlfriends.
01:00:29.080They set up the camera, and then they pretend they're on live, and they're reading comments, but they're just throwing shade at each other.
01:00:36.080So they're like, it said, why did you date a homeless person for a year?
01:02:23.220And sometimes, like, it'll, like, someone will just say the right sentence and then I start, like, did you know blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
01:02:31.900And everyone looks at me, like, why the hell do you know that?
01:02:36.560My sister once told me, she goes, I don't know how you know so many things because I know you don't read.
01:05:58.460Yeah, especially the power of women, like you said.
01:06:00.520Like, it was, like, really a tactic trying to stomp out, like, women understanding how powerful they are spiritually, too.
01:06:06.260And lots of intersex and trans people in different cultures and communities have been spiritual leaders.
01:06:13.900And that was also something that got stamped out.
01:06:16.560So, yeah, this is all part of, and, you know, we have big conversations about intersectionality and gender is, like, it really does, it affects the people who seem to be benefiting from it, too.
01:06:32.580Like, I mean, when you look at the men in charge, they're the worst examples of men.
01:06:39.620And then when you look at the men just following the rules, they are living this much of an existence because they're in the confines of what's acceptable for them, you know?
01:07:00.460I talk about that a lot, too, on here because I'm Samoan and there's a fa-fa-finis are a third gender that existed prior to being colonized.
01:07:07.560So, like, we've been very aware of the relationship between gender, spirituality, all of that, especially in a lot of indigenous communities, intersex people, third gender people were, like, deities in a lot of indigenous communities.
01:07:20.140They were worshipped and sought to be, like, all-knowing, especially because they had the power of both, essentially, but they didn't adhere to gender binary whatsoever.
01:07:28.020The idea of the two-sex gender construct, the binary, the idea of the gender binary is specifically a colonial white idea.
01:08:10.520That's why I think when I talk about colonialism on a larger scale and I talk about, like, just the colonization and almost the attempt to erase, like, historical context from many different cultures, it can really hit a nerve for people, especially cisgendered white people.
01:08:29.340Because I do stand up for the dolls all the time.
01:08:33.060And I know it's important that cis women especially defend trans women, because, again, especially as a not-white cis woman, like you said, it will affect me.
01:08:42.380Like, it will affect, like, any sort of attack on transness will affect cis people as well.
01:08:48.620If we tell anyone that they're allowed dominion over a group of people, that's all it takes to then, and then they'll find a reason for another group of people.
01:09:02.860You can't give that permission in any form, or it will.
01:09:15.820And I get frustrated because, not to say that I'm, like, a perfect feminist or anything, but, like, you know, we've had the bathroom conversation for so long.
01:09:28.720And, like, what is the ethical thing to do there and how to respect everyone.
01:09:36.140And I'm, like, I wish that cis women knew how scared I am of making them feel uncomfortable.
01:10:07.900And if there's not a restroom for, you know, everyone, then I'm having to very quickly go into a women's restroom and hopefully not get seen by the person who's going to have a problem with it.
01:10:34.440It's, like, I know that this is, I'm not a monolith for the trans community, but most of us are more anxious about upsetting everyone else than we are, like, defiantly coming in to piss whether you like it or not, you know?
01:10:52.740Like, I'm just, like, I just really actually need to pee.
01:28:33.560Sometimes, because I think because of what I do, like, the niche, the very specific niche I've carved out in, like, on TikTok and stuff.
01:28:40.360Sometimes people ask me, like, what do I do if, like, my boyfriend or partner or whatever or, like, my friend is, like, bigoted or, like, doesn't.
01:29:52.260But when you have to claim something for yourself and you have to, like, fight for it, then it's easier to tell people, like, stand down if you don't want a problem.
01:30:09.060Like, I fought too hard to get here to let you be the one who stands in, like, I've taken on bigger monsters than you in Hollywood for years.
01:30:27.860Like, it's a very, like, guest in the house to me.
01:30:30.700Like, I'm very, like, you can hang out as long as you're respectful.
01:30:33.240My family was not perfect by any means, and, you know, I still had to unlearn plenty of conditioning that white people are taught by our culture and by our families, whether they mean to or not.
01:30:47.720But the rule always was we can't judge others because then it invites them to judge us, you know?
01:30:58.060Like, I only ever want to ask of other people what I'm willing to give them, you know?
01:32:10.980And those who practice witchcraft, some people practice both.
01:32:15.100Some people practice one and not the other.
01:32:17.160You know, it's all, it's a, it's a choose your own adventure.
01:32:22.180I'd say more people are offended by me quoting the Bible to them or pointing out the hypocrisies in Christianity than they are of like the way I identify as a witch.
01:32:35.820Because, you know, most witches are just happy you're doing something.
01:32:46.080This next one says that your very first large scale drag performance was at the Escape nightclub where you popped out of a box dressed as a windup doll.
01:32:58.460My first iteration of doing drag was me and my friend Etienne.
01:33:05.240I was always in the school play, so I didn't have time for an after school job.
01:33:09.000So we would busk on the streets on the weekend and we would paint ourselves up like mimes and bring a boom box and do drag numbers, but specifically like things from Pinocchio or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
01:33:51.980I, that was one of those things where I got hold of the karaoke trick and I just did that number as much as I possibly could because I thought I was the most clever little thing in the world.
01:34:03.960Um, now I work with a music partner who writes my lyrics so they get a little more clever.
01:34:12.080I still love writing parody songs and I do in the Jinx and Dayla holiday show.
01:46:03.040One of my lines I wrote down for my next stand-up special just says, I've been spending a lot of time staring at myself in the mirror like a Batman villain.
01:46:11.060And I'm like, where was I going with this?
01:46:16.080That's just a, that's just something I feel like sharing with people.
01:47:49.360And I think, you know, leaning into our authentic selves, knowing that we are providing representation for a community.
01:48:04.020It helps me remember that I'm part of something bigger, especially when it's like it gets very it can get very like you're a goddess on earth and everyone is so lucky, you know.
01:48:17.900But it's I make the time at the stage door to really listen to the young trans people who say, I feel like I can do what you're doing because you're doing it.
01:48:30.520And I'm like, there weren't as many people when I was that age.
01:48:38.380And I know how powerful it is to have that moment.
01:48:42.160And like I got to thank John Cameron Mitchell for creating Hedwig and the Angry Inch because that, to me, told me there was a place for me to go in this industry.
01:49:01.060It's that feeling that's getting that went from one person to me to the next person.
01:49:07.340That's the real, real magic of what we're doing.
01:49:10.280I agree that like cosmic exchange, it is it does refill my cup, too, when I feel frustrated or upset because I I know, you know, this, but like sometimes it fucking sucks being the first.
01:49:21.600Sometimes it's isolating and it's awful and it's hard being the first in a lot of ways.
01:49:25.840But then moments like that, I've said many times, like testimonies like that from people who love me and they and they say things like I never would have done this if it wasn't for you.
01:49:34.400I you changed my life, whatever. That kind of stuff reminds me like that's why I really love the job.
01:49:40.300It's actually humbling. Yeah, because what it is, is I didn't set out to do that.
01:49:46.440Right. I just was doing what I knew I should do. Right.
01:49:52.540And then it got to do that extra stuff. And so the fact that I get to do what I've always wanted to do and it has this positive impact.
01:49:59.400Yes. That's what keeps me humble. Me, too. Like the more I worry about the popularity of it, the more I get diverted from the purpose of special about our.
01:50:11.060Yeah. Like the real reason behind it. I think that all the time, too. I'm like, it's so much bigger than me.
01:50:15.860Like, it's so much bigger than me. And I feel makes me feel more grateful for it, too, because it can suck doing and keep the right people close.
01:50:22.960Yes, exactly. Especially for the humbling part. Never replace the people who are real with you with people who just tell you what you want to hear.
01:50:33.320Oh, my God. I know. Because I've watched friends do that and I've watched them stop being my friend.
01:50:41.020And I never saw them again. And I never saw them again.
01:50:43.300You know, and you're so right. I was just joking about this the other day. I was telling my I was wearing my mom.
01:50:49.540Right. I love my family. I'm always is always extremely humbling to me, which is a beautiful thing.
01:50:53.760I need that. And my mom the other day, literally like a week ago, I was like we were going to meetings or something.
01:50:58.800I had a bunch of meetings or whatever. And I was wearing these like suit pants.
01:51:03.100They're like pinstripe blue pants. And I had like a little white top on. And so I had these exact shoes.
01:51:08.140I was like, let me try these on with the pants. I've seen girls do that.
01:51:10.560I put it on and go look in the mirror. And I'm like, I'm not loving this.
01:51:13.740Like as I'm looking, I'm like, does this look bad? And my mom goes, no, it doesn't look bad.
01:51:16.320And I'm all, really? And then she goes, it doesn't look bad.
01:51:19.920It just looks like you're going to go catch up on your steps at lunch.
01:51:22.900And I was like, this bitch. And my sister goes, commuter shoes.
01:51:26.640I'm like, yeah. I was like, OK. Guess what that did? Made me change the whole outfit.
01:51:30.780I scrapped the whole thing, picked a new outfit.
01:51:32.820That reminds me one of my favorite things. My grandma, who is the first person.
01:51:38.160And my grandma, my aunt knew I was a drag queen before anyone else in my family because I trusted them to not worry about it.
01:51:45.880And I used to show my grandma my look for the night before I went out that night and see if she had any final notes.
01:51:53.580And one night I had my hair and I had put a lot of work into this hair. Never been a strong suit of mine hair.
01:52:01.380This was not me today. And I went and I showed her the wig and I said, I think this hair works because I'm singing a country song tonight.
01:52:10.320And my grandma went, well, sweet pea, it's just that country singers are known for having really nice hair, like really well styled hair.
01:52:19.960And I was like, oh, my grandma just read me.
01:52:24.920I just like really, that was a soft read.