Shaving My Head and Eyebrows？! ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION with Drew Afualo ｜ Ep. 1
Summary
In the very first episode of The Comment Section, Drew and Drew are joined by Sarah Schauer to talk about body neutrality, body positivity, and why we should all be body positive. Also, we talk about Valentine's Day and why it's never out of style.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
You put cream cheese in bell peppers, sandwich it with cheese and ham, and then you're happy?
00:00:06.440
That would be like the intro sentence to my suicide note.
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What's up, y'all? It's Drew, your girl, that bitch on TikTok, period. And welcome to the
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very first episode ever of the comment section show. They can't cheer, but they're definitely
00:00:21.060
here. There's definitely people here. I'm not by myself. I promise. Anyways, on this very first
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episode, I'm so incredibly honored and grateful to have the one, the only, the amazing, wonderful
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Sarah Schauer. Thank you so much. Sarah is so iconic. For those of you who know, if you
00:00:37.120
know, you know, Sarah's an OG Viner. So Sarah's been on the internet forever. She's been an
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icon, alleged, for the longest time. So I'm so excited to have you because you're so funny.
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So I know that you and I are going to rip new assholes today. Are you excited? I'm ready
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to make a new asshole. Everyone bend over. We're going to rip new assholes across the
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board for everyone. Let's show holes. For those of you who don't know too, Sarah is also on
00:01:01.820
YouTube at Sarah Schauer. Yes. YouTube, Twitter, Instagram. Yes. All of them. Sarah Schauer
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on all of them. Every single one of them go follow you immediately. You have to. Sarah is
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one of the funniest people on the internet, but also Sarah has a podcast with the very famous
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Britney Broski, your cousin slash roommate. Yes. Right. Uh huh. It's called violating
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community guidelines and we explore all the weird and wacky parts of the internet, which
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is so funny because you're a Zillow gone wild series with Britney. One of the funniest things
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I've ever seen. It's so bizarre, but so funny. Oh my God. I think you have a really, a really
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like niche talent for like finding weird shit and making it funny. Yeah. Like weird off
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pudding almost. It's because I'm weird. Okay. So for this very first episode, we're kicking
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this off a couple of days after Valentine's day. So as far as I'm concerned, you know,
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she's dead. She's gone. I do have a Valentine, but whatever it's done, but you know, what's
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never out of style for me personally is self love. And especially when it comes to your body,
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loving your body and specifically body neutrality, which is going to be our topic of discussion
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for today. So I wanted to ask Sarah, what are your personal experiences, thoughts, initial
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thoughts maybe on like body neutrality and like your experience with it? I think it's
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pretty interesting. Like the idea that it's like your body is not like neither good nor
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bad. It's just is. Yeah. You know, you feel like God, like I am. I just simply exist.
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I know. Right. And all knowing. Yeah. On top of that. Omnipotent. Ethereal. I like it.
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I'm like Switzerland with myself. I'm not getting involved. I don't know what's happening back
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there. And I don't want to know, to be fair, my experience with body neutrality, I feel like
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it's more positive than more positive, I guess is ironic, but it's more accurate, I would say
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than body positivity, I guess, because I'm all for the idea that you could just exist. Like you said,
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it's not a factor, a determining factor of whether or not you're worthy or you're worthy of love or
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you're worthy of respect. Yes. No matter what your outside looks like, you're worthy of love.
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To really help me get into this comment section, right? We needed to talk about body neutrality
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because we all need to be on the same page because we're going to talk about body shaming
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specifically, especially when it comes to men, right? Because they, they stay, they stay do that.
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For those of you who are listening, Sarah, just give a really big thumbs down and period,
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to be honest. I don't know. How has your relationship been as far as like with your own body? You don't have
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to go into detail if you don't want to, but just like your experience with body positivity versus
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body neutrality. As for right now, I don't know if I've ever been like body positive. I've been like,
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I've had like, I don't know. I wouldn't refer to myself as body positive, more body neutral. I
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honestly agree so, so much because for me, I almost explained my confidence as like borderline
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delusional. My body was never a factor to me. Like I never was aware really of its weight on like how
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people perceive me until I was probably like in my earlier twenties. Even when I was like a kid,
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I was just like, and like, it just didn't, didn't bother me literally at all. It didn't affect how
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I saw myself. No. And I think that's cause probably like, we're like more straight sizes. So I assume
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if you're like plus size, this is probably something that you factor in like every single day. Yeah.
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It's definitely a privilege, I think. But I think the only thing about my body was like,
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I hated being tall. Yeah. Yeah. You're a lot taller than I thought you would be.
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I'm five, six, but I also have platforms on. I knew it. I literally guessed five, six. I was
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like, when I, after I met you in person, I was like, I bet you Sarah's five, six. I'm super average.
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Yeah. I, you're just so much taller. I thought you were like five too. When I saw you online.
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I wish. Oh my gosh. So cute. I know so little. I'm just, I can't reach the top shelf. I wear my
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sleeves over my hands cause I'm just so small. My roommate has to pick me up so I can get my cereal
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box. Oh my God. I'm so small. I just, you could just pick me up and toss me around. I blow away in the
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wind. Yeah. What's funny is people think I'm short, which I find odd. I've never been
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short. I don't know if I thought of you as short. I thought you was like average height.
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No. Yeah. I'm six feet tall, but I did think you were Australian. I was five, four when I
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was 10. Oh, so is that bad? You know, like when someone's like my baby is reading it like
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two years, I'm like, I have no idea if that's bad or good or concerning. Yeah. Yes. I don't
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know. Like five, four, 10 years old. You're like fifth grade. Yeah. Fifth grade. Yeah. Oh wait.
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That's, that's how tall I am. Oh wait. Yeah. Wait. No, but that's not bad. Yeah. It's
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just, it's a little frightening. I would say it's jarring for the average human because
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they'd be like, what is this high school kid doing here? Do you get like height jokes
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like basketball, weather up there? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Weather up there was like probably
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when I was like 12, but then see like what's scarier as like five, four going into sixth grade.
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Then when I go to seventh grade, I grew four inches in one summer. Damn. So people were
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like, who the f**k is this? Like when I came back, they were like, okay, LeBron James,
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get the f**k out of here. It's like those like people in Netflix series who are like clearly
00:05:44.520
27 pretending to be like a 13 year old. Yeah. Like I literally, it was like Nate Jacobs
00:05:48.640
in middle school. Yeah. Like I was euphoria in high school. I looked like a 32 year old,
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but I'm like, I'm a senior in high school, 17. Oh, what am I going to do for college?
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But I'm also a Polynesian. So I think it kind of checks out. Most of us are large. So.
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Really? Yeah. Is that a Polynesian thing? Yeah.
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Yeah. A big, big body dance. You went to the university of Hawaii. Oh my God. This is all like,
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it's all clicking. Oh my God. I don't know if I'm just stupid. Cause now I just noticed your
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tattoo. This is all making so much more sense. There you go. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
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So I think now, since we went over well into the description of body neutrality and basically
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our experiences with it, I think we both pretty privileged as far as like not having too much stock
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in what we look like to like a later age. Yeah. When you're in those developmental ages is like,
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I think when it's super, super harmful, cause you're like, you know, you're watching TV,
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you're watching social media. So you start to compare and all that kind of stuff.
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Thankfully I have really bad ADHD. So like, I didn't really pay attention to like, I mean,
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I understood that like models and like stuff like we're, you know, skinny and stuff like that,
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but I didn't really like pay attention to them. Yeah. Just too much to other things to focus on.
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But honestly, that's like a really great transition to like go into what we're going to do
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typically on every episode. So every episode of the comment section show, we're going to go over
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two videos that I was tagged in. And like we said earlier, we're going to rip those assholes up.
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Yeah. Just new holes everywhere. New holes for everyone. I'm like Oprah, but you get a new hole.
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Yeah. And you get to decide where it goes. Underneath your seat is a new hole.
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Look under your seat, pull down your pants. There's your new hole.
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Bend over, like when you stand up, bend down, pull your pants down, look under your seat.
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That's how you find your new hole. That's basically what we're going to do.
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So going into this first video, right? Essentially the gist of it, I mean, men with podcasts.
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Yeah. Right. So, which is red flags, sirens everywhere. Yeah. Immediately.
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Men should not have rights. I'm just kidding. I'm not.
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So these two men are talking, they're having a discourse. They're both like meatheads, right?
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Yeah. Gym bros. So is the discourse nuanced in any way? No.
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And they're basically talking about a plus size model specifically.
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Like, I don't know if they were talking about her specifically, but they put a picture of her on the video.
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So I would assume that's who they're attacking. And she's a plus size model.
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And they're basically saying, like, have you seen lingerie models that are bigger?
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And he's like, oh, like this body positivity shit or whatever.
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And he's like, yeah, it's inappropriate. You shouldn't be glorifying that. And you're obviously diabetic. That's the whole video.
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What are your initial thoughts when I describe that dog shit to you?
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These guys are like stupid as shit. What's that saying? It's like, you're not the dumbest person in the world, but you should like hope that they don't die.
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Dude, I f***. That's so great. I'm going to f***ing log that away forever.
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If your nipples are out all the time, does that qualify you to give medical advice or a diagnosis, let alone?
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Nine times out of ten, they're not even certified trainers. They just have muscles.
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Yeah, I can work on my body all the live long day, but I can't give CPR.
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Just because, like, I try on, like, paint, like I work on myself, you know?
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Yeah, I bought a couple Lululemon leggings, so I'm going to go do open heart surgery.
00:09:02.480
Yeah, I feel like because I downloaded MyFitnessPal, it means that I'm qualified to tell you that you need to go on a diet.
00:09:08.560
Yeah, I can count my calories so I can diagnose you with cancer.
00:09:13.860
In the comments section of my video, it was pretty apparent where everybody was, like, falling as far as, like, this is f***ing dog s***.
00:09:21.800
You're not even explaining even a little bit where you got diabetic from.
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Like, I would pay actual money to see that man tell me how diabetes works.
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Help me understand, like, how you came to that conclusion.
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I even said in my video, like, can you even spell diabetic?
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So, one of the comments on here said, diabetic, so he doesn't know that people of any size can have that disease?
00:10:03.440
Which, again, like we said, it's operating on, like, type 2 diabetes is the only kind that exists.
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And then this next comment says, who gave them permission to have a podcast?
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It's just pictures of people they assume are diabetic.
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But it's like someone acting it out because they can't read it.
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He's like, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.
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I'm absolutely fed up with men giving unsolicited advice about appearance, aren't you?
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So, like, people just pick apart every single thing.
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Even if you're just, like, if you stood there and filmed yourself blinking for three minutes,
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Because there are some hate comments that are really funny.
00:11:11.020
Like, someone said I have the vacant stare of a mule.
00:11:13.860
And so I actually went to the petting zoo, and I looked a mule in the eyes, and I was like,
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I've also had someone say that I look like a candle of Florence Pugh that had melted.
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I got one once where they were like, oh my god, like, I can't believe, like, I see someone
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Like, she's not gonna, like, my eyes are on the opposite sides of my head.
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It's like, peace and love, but you look like s***, by the way.
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Or, like, those backhanded compliments that are like, you look like you give great hugs.
00:12:00.140
Those are, like, the only comments that I'm like, damn, I'm gonna think about that for, like, a day.
00:12:03.720
It's like, they're supposed to be nice, but they're definitely not nice.
00:12:08.400
You can keep your comments to yourself, which is a perfect transition into our next thing.
00:12:12.860
So, Nicole Coughlin, she's from Bridgerton, and she's like,
00:12:16.360
I want to say one of the only cast members that's a plus-size girl.
00:12:19.860
Like, the rest of them are pretty conventionally attractive and small.
00:12:23.120
She said, if you have an opinion about my body, please don't share it with me.
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I always think, too, like, what other people think of me is none of my business.
00:12:35.180
Unless it's something about being funny or, like, liking my content, that's cool.
00:12:44.080
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We're going to play a fun game that I like to call Drew Thumbs Up or Drew Thumbs Down.
00:13:55.660
Should I say thumbs up and thumbs down because we're on a podcast?
00:14:00.680
Every time I do my thumbs down, though, I always go like, pfft, pfft, pfft, because I feel it really drives it home.
00:14:06.260
There's nothing more embarrassing than hearing, pfft, pfft.
00:14:08.480
Okay, so we're going to rapid fire, don't think, just react.
00:14:54.860
We'll go back to the top so we can talk about it.
00:15:13.060
No, but I just don't like the bikini part for like little kids.
00:15:20.220
I thought of something funny, but I can't talk about that.
00:15:27.180
I mean, I don't like how it's all about like girls, like the shoulder.
00:15:31.140
It's all like, they're like dress codes, but there's an asterisk and it's just for women.
00:15:35.180
The men can do literally whatever the f*** they want.
00:15:37.640
Because if like, if you can't show your collarbones, then like you can't wear like a f***ing Stewie
00:15:43.900
It's like, it's like SpongeBob doing it drunk or something.
00:15:50.840
I just don't want to see them in middle school, I guess.
00:15:57.860
I mean, if he is, he's definitely liberal left leaning.
00:16:27.200
We talked about CrossFit once and we were like, basically, they want you to do a f***ing
00:16:35.880
They're like, come here, run a marathon in eight minutes and then it goes straight to
00:16:52.840
I mean, can you imagine going your whole life without carbs?
00:16:56.360
If I have to make a sandwich with bell peppers as the bread and shoot me in the face.
00:17:06.320
You put cream cheese in bell peppers, sandwich it with cheese and ham.
00:17:12.740
That would be like the intro sentence to my suicide note.
00:17:27.320
And I saw it and I said, damn, that looks so good.
00:17:31.440
Dude, tell me why that was the worst Christmas Eve of my fucking life.
00:17:34.260
Bro, I was calling out to any higher power to save me from what the fuck I was going through.
00:17:42.060
I literally was trying to wrap presents and shit my brains out at the same time.
00:17:46.240
I showered multiple times because it was just like almost like sinful.
00:17:50.500
Like the shit that you take, you're like, I need to go fucking cleanse after that.
00:17:55.760
Like spiritually and physically, I need to cleanse myself.
00:18:00.740
I'll, I'll, I'm interested to hear like a dip brow in 2022.
00:18:03.760
You said thumbs up because you're a millennial, which I am as well.
00:18:06.820
So my eyebrows are going to like, yeah, I use dip brow.
00:18:16.380
Were you one of those people though that had like Sharpie brows?
00:18:18.980
Um, I had the opposite where I just like plucked them to like lines.
00:18:22.260
My main comment on Vine was like, your eyebrows look like sperm.
00:18:27.020
And I was like, you know, sometimes bullying does work because I actually fixed my eyebrows.
00:18:35.060
So in this next section, we're going to talk about the second video I was tagged in and
00:18:41.280
it was actually one that I got pretty popular, I think for all the wrong reasons.
00:18:45.420
And then of course I came and I ripped it a new hole as we've talked about countless times
00:18:51.820
So this video is basically a kid, um, just asking a stupid question essentially, but it's
00:18:58.140
like, why are y'all trying to normalize girls with body hair?
00:19:02.140
And like, I guess my initial reaction is like, what kind of body hair?
00:19:07.640
Cause like women have had body hair since like the fifties and then Gillette was like,
00:19:13.540
And they're like, how can I get women involved?
00:19:20.160
If it's natural, I don't know how it's like, not.
00:19:24.400
If you grow it naturally, it's like normalizing skin.
00:19:42.440
You know, just f***ing buzz right down the middle.
00:19:44.460
He's like, you're on the right track, but we're thinking lower.
00:19:49.620
He's like, that's not the kind of hair I was talking about.
00:19:51.280
And I think like a lot of people too have kind of unearthed this ideology that like
00:19:56.220
men who really want hairless women tend to want like small, frail, hairless.
00:20:04.420
I mean, you want someone small, thin, um, no body hair, like no curves.
00:20:15.520
That's an interesting take where you're like, yeah, that's what I'm looking for.
00:20:20.880
Which is funny because a lot of these comments too that people were adding in there, someone
00:20:24.500
just put so little girls and like the kids just like, what are you talking about?
00:20:30.840
Men who say this shit too, like how f***ing painful it is to remove hair.
00:20:36.060
Or like, do you know how many different ways you can remove hair?
00:20:46.620
It feels like someone's snapping a, um, like a rubber band against your skin.
00:20:55.800
But I mean, I got a tattoo, so maybe it wouldn't be that bad.
00:21:00.220
They can't numb you all over because apparently it slows your heart rate too much.
00:21:03.020
And I already have like arrhythmia or something.
00:21:20.180
Another one of these comments says, guys that say this are attracted to pre-pubes and girls.
00:21:32.260
If you were to describe your ideal woman to a sketch artist, he would draw an American
00:21:40.740
Elliot Stabler shows up when you talk about your ideal woman.
00:21:46.000
And this other comment says, man's mad he can't grow facial hair himself.
00:22:11.300
Let's shave our lashes, hair, and brows while we're at it.
00:22:19.260
Fully hairless and start looking like Rufus from Kim Possible.
00:22:22.460
I can't even, the picture in my head is terrifying.
00:22:28.140
Like I'm picturing like F***ing Gollum type beat.
00:22:39.900
He's going to be like, like a cartoon character when they have like hearts popping out of their
00:22:48.300
So next we're going to do another segment where we're going to rank our comments basically
00:23:03.460
We're going to rank these comments and then I want you to like tell me whether or not you
00:23:09.660
Because like I've, I have a pretty strong suspicion of which ones I think are yours, but I'm
00:23:13.140
not like a hundred percent sure because it doesn't tell me on here necessarily.
00:23:16.500
But this first one says my first boyfriend ate a live worm off the ground on our first
00:23:29.300
I literally heard, I read that and I was like, that's for sure not mine.
00:23:35.200
It's a real, it's a real lawless land in your comments sometimes I feel like.
00:23:43.760
Maybe they're just so comfortable by your like presence that they just feel the need
00:23:48.720
It says, I think it's like a conversation, right?
00:23:51.140
So it says Sarah and then that Sarah says I'm gay and then it says barista.
00:24:01.960
That it's very obvious what milk you drink if you are gay.
00:24:08.720
I would assume yours because your name is in it.
00:24:13.780
Well, I mean, they're probably talking about the fact that I go off on like all these weird
00:24:17.580
So I'm like, you know, is anyone else's come black?
00:24:31.960
I see Britney's videos too when she posts late into the night.
00:24:35.220
Britney falls asleep at 9 a.m. every day and wakes up at 7 p.m. and then she's awake
00:24:42.000
And so that's why all of her videos come out at night.
00:24:46.760
I think oat milk has this weird, trendy, like bad reputation.
00:25:19.060
No, it's because like I, they say I use two big words.
00:25:24.920
When you're like damn near illiterate, I'm sure, I'm sure the word arduous could throw
00:25:31.880
Always the guys who look like they haven't bathed in 15 years.
00:25:39.380
I thought you were saying that these guys haven't bathed in 15.
00:25:42.460
It's always the guys who look like they haven't bathed in 15 years.
00:25:49.460
When I like came out as bi, half of my male audience dropped off.
00:25:53.280
Came out as a lesbian, I have about 90-10 right now.
00:25:59.840
It says, oh, this one's I think for sure me, but it says, does your back hurt Drew from
00:26:10.860
My audience is so gay, they know to lift with their knees.
00:26:19.060
But honestly, it takes a ledge, like I learned from legends like Sarah on Vine back in the
00:26:36.320
Oh, I was going to say the back comment is the best.
00:26:38.960
Because like, I would say that it's the most positive.
00:26:46.620
That's more of like a silver medal kind of thing?
00:26:48.460
It's truly the most neutral thing because like, she didn't comment on my appearance or
00:27:08.400
So you're like, I have all this unearned knowledge of shit I shouldn't know.
00:27:11.680
And then I think the worst one, probably the barista one.
00:27:24.640
That's why I'm saying it's real low hanging fruit.
00:27:29.760
Okay, so another thing that we like to do on this show is I like to have my guests bring
00:27:38.940
their own videos and their own comments so we can, again, rip more holes.
00:27:52.420
Okay, so Sarah has some videos that she actually brought.
00:27:58.160
Um, so I was watching Lord of the Rings and this guy thought this would be the great
00:28:04.440
He's like, you look really good with makeup, but not so much without it.
00:28:08.480
And so I said, Christopher, I have f***ed a lot of men without makeup on.
00:28:11.960
With me without being, having makeup on and then also them not having makeup on.
00:28:15.460
You need to, you need to get a job and put your dick under a blowtorch.
00:28:19.100
And then the second part he said is, I have a great job.
00:28:21.620
I just like saying get a job because it's a really funny thing.
00:28:31.900
You're an abomination and God will judge you accordingly.
00:28:36.480
You will stand before God at the great seat of judgment.
00:28:40.720
He who is without sin shall cast the first stone.
00:28:45.300
Like I said, he then put your dick under a blowtorch and rot in hell.
00:28:50.840
As soon as you went into the Leviticus thing, I'm like, yeah, bro, shut the f*** up.
00:28:55.300
All I was doing was watching Lord of the Rings because I love the third movie so much.
00:29:04.880
Reminder that makeup is the biggest fraud in history of mankind and it should be illegal.
00:29:14.780
This whole makeup, makeup, makeup, do you really think like you have a wonderful eyeliner
00:29:25.140
And there's also like articles where it's like, guys don't like like bright makeup.
00:29:29.500
You just don't want to tell that you like makeup.
00:29:34.060
So the very last video we're going to talk about is one that was stitched by a man.
00:29:39.760
So it's like the original video was a girl who was working out like she's like going to
00:29:46.340
She talked about how much she weighed and she was like, because it doesn't matter.
00:29:50.400
Like, you know, your weight doesn't determine your worth, I think is the point of her video.
00:29:54.100
And of course, like men, because they ruin everything, everything in the world in the
00:30:01.420
They stitch it and then they turn it into a teaching moment.
00:30:04.280
I'm going to teach you why you shouldn't be proud to be that heavy.
00:30:10.020
He was like, why are we normalizing this weight?
00:30:15.540
Dude, I got pulled over one time and the cop put my weight down as 115.
00:30:26.320
And every time dudes like try to make fun of my weight, they literally are like, what
00:30:37.120
You're going to have to stand on either side of my head.
00:30:39.040
And tell me that you really think I'm 300 pounds.
00:30:45.920
And it's funny because that's how much they wish they weighed.
00:30:53.660
If you and I were both to go try out for the NFL, the odds of me making it are very high.
00:30:58.480
You're more like, you know, just fun to have around.
00:31:01.080
Like they let him wear the jersey, but he doesn't have the uniform.
00:31:06.320
So it's like supposed to be an insult to me that I'm built like the men that you idolize.
00:31:14.460
Like it's almost like they can't tell if they want to be them.
00:31:18.420
And this dude is literally like the perfect example of a dude like that.
00:31:26.180
And then when he sees women, he's like, oh, so gross.
00:31:31.000
Some of these comments, though, someone was like, at least she's working out.
00:31:38.420
You can't even see my body in any of my videos.
00:31:46.300
So that's going to do it for this very first episode of the comment section show.
00:31:50.440
Thank you so much again to Sarah for joining us.
00:31:53.020
And before we go, we just want to recap really quickly.
00:31:56.380
That for body neutrality, I think we both agree, is the way to go.
00:32:03.240
Because it doesn't matter what your body looks like.
00:32:05.020
All that matters is that you deserve love and respect.
00:32:12.100
And also, I just once again want to thank Sarah, the most hilarious person on the internet by far.
00:32:17.660
I'm so happy that you got to join me on my very first episode of the comment section show.
00:32:29.080
Every single person in here has at least six more holes.
00:32:34.360
And also, I want to remind you all, if you want me to see some of these videos so we can, again, rip more holes, right?
00:32:40.900
With more guests, make sure you tag me in the comment section and you might be featured on my next show.