Toxic Masculinity | Drew Afualo ft. Manny MUA | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 6
Summary
In this episode of Comment Section, Drew sits down with the OG beauty guru, Manny M.U.A. to talk about toxic masculinity and how to deal with it in the 21st century. Plus, we get to hear the story of how Drew accidentally peed her pants in a sprinkler system.
Transcript
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I, like, never told that story, actually, but I totally, like, that totally happened to me.
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Hey, y'all, and welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section Show, starring me, that bitch, Drew.
00:01:18.720
Today on the show, we have one of my favorite people on the internet since forever and ever and ever, the beautiful, amazing Manny M.U.A.
00:01:50.980
Literally, you're one of the OG beauty YouTubers I've always watched.
00:01:59.560
I cannot believe I'm looking at your beautiful, wonderful bee face.
00:02:05.700
Just like, just casually, and it was so calm and chill, and I'm like, how you really feel.
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Like, Manny is honestly one of the OG beauty gurus in the game.
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I've been doing it back then since before, like, you know, bearded boys on YouTube.
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Like, I just can't believe that it's, like, so full circle for me right now.
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This is, like, the perfect topic to talk about with you today, too.
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So today we're going to be talking about toxic masculinity with Manny.
00:03:05.120
I was literally going to ask, like, what are your initial thoughts when I bring up toxic masculinity?
00:03:09.120
I mean, honestly, like, my entire journey, like, I feel like it started off with literal toxic masculinity.
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You know, I grew up in a very, you know, I'm a Latino, so I grew up in a Latino household, very machismo vibes.
00:03:18.960
And so for me, it was very, like, you know, don't ask, don't tell about me being gay and, like, you know, very much like you're a boy.
00:03:29.860
So, you know, me being who I am today, you know, gay and beauty guru and all this kind of thing, it was so opposite of what I grew up with.
00:03:38.320
So it really was, I was swimming the battle upstream.
00:03:41.480
So, like, that was another, like, extra check on my list.
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I said, baby, I am a little salmon swimming upstream.
00:03:49.020
Literally, you're like, does anybody else want to fuck me today?
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Like, I'm talking, like, literally, I would be full beat, full glam, jump out of my window to go to work at Sephora because my parents only thought I worked at JCPenney.
00:04:06.340
I was like, yeah, I'm getting checks from JCPenney.
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So then I would literally be jumping out the window and then I'd be coming back home in my car.
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I would be taking off all my makeup before I get in the house.
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Okay, so what was, like, like, what would you say was your transition to, like, kind of accepting more of your feminine side and kind of releasing the toxicity?
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You know, for me, I think it was about, like, more inner strength and inner journey because I really did feel at the time when I was in my early 20s, late teens, like, I really didn't have anyone.
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You know, because I, like, I just, I mean, I did, I had my family, I had, like, the support of everyone.
00:04:53.860
But I didn't have, like, them in that way that I felt like they were going to support every piece of me.
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And I think that it was more so about, like, having to self-soothe and, like, be okay with myself.
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And it's, like, not about pleasing everyone because I was very much a people pleaser kind of kid, right?
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I played, like, I did all this, all those kind of things that it was, like, the classic, like, man should be doing.
00:05:19.800
But I feel like the reason I did that is because I was hiding the fact that I was gay this whole time.
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Yes, I was overachieving because I'm, like, okay, I'm going to make up for the fact that I'm gay.
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And so when they, if they find out I'm gay, then I'm, like, oh, but, like, look how great he is.
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So I feel like that was kind of my, like, struggle for a long time.
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And it wasn't until I got into really going into college and, like, making friends, gay friends.
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I was in this little tiny little bubble for a long time.
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And so kind of meeting them and, like, you know, friends of mine expressing who they were authentically made me want to express myself authentically.
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So I finally was just, like, I'm going to rebel.
00:06:00.340
That beautiful journey turned into you being a big whore.
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I think so, too, especially in, like, early 20s.
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Because I was just, like, very, like, well, I lived my life so sheltered.
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I literally went from, like, this outlier to this one.
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So, like, you said you already started wearing makeup when you were working at Sephora, obviously.
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So, like, is that, like, kind of what opened up your journey?
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What made you want to start becoming a beauty YouTuber?
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But I swore I was, like, this tiny, little, petite, little thing.
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But the thing is, when I did that, it kind of opened me up to this, like, whole feminine
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But the thing is, I didn't love, you know, wearing wigs and wearing dresses and heels.
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I didn't like all of that kind of aspect of doing drag in that way.
00:07:49.760
You're like, okay, I did all of it, and I kind of only like this part.
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So I'm like, so can I just take that portion and run with that?
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But I was like, but I don't really want to shave either.
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I just want to, like, have fun and express myself in an artistic way.
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Yeah, and now you're, like, on YouTube, and now you're that bitch.
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When you messaged me on TikTok, I was like, okay, period.
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And I said, Manny Mua, the one and only, started following me.
00:08:21.900
And that's why, like, my sister got me your Life is a Drag palette for my birthday.
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It makes it so much easier, like, when I do looks, because I'm no beauty guru.
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Like, believe it or not, I actually woke up like this.
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I literally opened my eyes, and I was completely.
00:09:02.240
And then I came down, and I was like, oh, my God.
00:09:06.720
And I was like, it was so easy to get rid of this one.
00:09:16.780
Well, I'm so, like, I think it's, like, just so perfectly aligned that we're talking about
00:09:21.460
toxic masculinity, because you're kind of, like, the epitome of someone who's breaking
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Because you're someone who's, who's tall, right, and confident, and very manly.
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And then at the same time, you can beat a face down, right?
00:09:38.460
So, like, I'm sure you've dealt, I mean, obviously, as creators, we deal with hate all the time.
00:09:42.600
So, like, I'm sure, have you dealt with men, like, kind of dealing with their own internalized
00:09:47.180
toxic masculinity, and then, like, projecting it onto you?
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Like, I would get so, like, eight years ago, like, online, especially, because I, you wouldn't
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see a lot of boys doing makeup, you know what I mean?
00:10:00.320
Or if you did, it would be more, like, female presenting, where it'd be, like, oh, like,
00:10:05.280
But because I was, like, one of the first dudes to be wearing a beard, and very obviously
00:10:08.540
presenting as male, having fun with makeup, and using it as my artistic outlet, it was
00:10:15.700
It was very, like, you're a, can I say F-A-G here?
00:10:23.100
But, you know, it was very, like, go kill yourself, very, like, insane, like, very homophobic
00:10:29.500
I mean, I think I'll get it for a long time, forever, literally.
00:10:36.360
And it's almost always, like, it's just a projection.
00:10:40.120
It's truly, like, what the things they hate most about themselves, or they wish that they
00:10:45.000
Like, that you are obviously living your own truth, they wish that they could also embody
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And then they see you doing it, and they get so pissed.
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It's like that, like, it's like the bully who's, like, bullying, like, the gay kid, but
00:10:56.460
it turns out he's, like, actually in love with him.
00:11:10.440
And you say, and I'm a slut, so it works out great.
00:11:26.180
Okay, so for those of you who don't know, on the comment section show, what we do here
00:11:29.940
is we pick several different videos that I've been tagged in.
00:11:33.420
And I always say, I bring them here, and I just rip them to shreds.
00:11:37.140
Like a phone book and like a strong man, just right down the middle.
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The strong man that you're thinking of, that's me.
00:11:56.380
So, this first video that I want to go over with you.
00:11:59.720
Basically, this is, I would assume, like a straight man.
00:12:02.760
And he's basically talking about how he dresses well, he wears chokers, he gets pedicures,
00:12:08.700
he like does skin care, he has platonic female friends.
00:12:12.760
And then like, because he does all those things, people always ask him if he's gay.
00:12:23.320
If you don't have skin marks, you're definitely gay.
00:12:25.380
Yeah, like he's going to town on that gooch and people are like, what do you like to
00:12:38.220
If we want to get there, if we want to go there.
00:12:40.120
Well, if you're going to go down there, you might as well.
00:12:48.200
That's why I'm like, do you ever see men, like, I've seen, I explained this to my boyfriend,
00:12:53.440
I was telling him how there's like this thing on TikTok where men were making fun of like,
00:12:59.060
like these aggressively straight, toxic masculinity and trans males were saying like, it's gay
00:13:18.380
Can you, being so choked out by like toxic masculinity.
00:13:22.880
It's like, it's like, those are the guys that are like, that's so gay.
00:13:26.440
That's like the epitome of like that kind of thing.
00:13:28.140
Because you washed your hands after you took a shit.
00:13:31.000
And they're like, what are you, gay or something?
00:13:35.920
He's like, why don't you just go kiss that guy over there?
00:13:37.940
Literally, why don't you just go make out with him?
00:13:39.440
Go make out with him then, since you're so gay.
00:13:41.740
Like, I just feel like it's so wild to like, and honestly, like, what's so bad about asking,
00:13:49.260
There's literally nothing wrong with like, oh, are you gay?
00:13:52.520
It's like, oh, but then the whole toxic masculinity kind of comes into the picture there.
00:13:56.120
And it's like, oh, am I not presenting manly enough?
00:14:02.660
It's almost like the societal role of like, oh, well, if I'm showing emotions, if I'm, you
00:14:07.020
know, X, Y, and Z kind of things of like, I am therefore not being masculine enough and
00:14:14.560
But it's not, and it has nothing to do with that.
00:14:16.180
Honestly, and I, and I've made TikToks about this in the past too.
00:14:19.360
I'm like, there's nothing wrong with washing your face or brushing your teeth.
00:14:31.880
I don't want you to open it and see the yellow pages.
00:14:44.420
There's worse issues than getting asked if, are you gay?
00:14:47.860
And it's just bizarre to me that like, just basic level human hygiene is considered homosexual.
00:15:01.640
And it's like, yo, like, I just, I just don't understand like this whole like concept of
00:15:07.880
the fact that being clean therefore makes you gay.
00:15:18.220
I just think like, like I have a dad, obviously I have a dad, but like my dad's involved in
00:15:24.040
And then I have a little brother and like, they both like shower all the time, wear deodorant
00:15:43.620
So like he has a hair routine that we do, we share.
00:15:50.760
I love that he's like so comfortable with himself because I feel like at this point it's literally
00:15:55.340
just, it's basic hygiene, but it's like, you almost have to be comfortable with yourself
00:15:58.320
and you're comfortable with your own sexuality to be doing basic ass things.
00:16:01.720
And it's just, it's wild to me that like some men would be like, not me though.
00:16:13.780
And I, and I just love pussy so much because I don't wash my own ass.
00:16:22.960
That's literally them in a pig trough like going to town.
00:16:30.600
You know, my boyfriend, like the other day I was looking at my skincare stuff because
00:16:33.560
I have like a morning and night routine and like my face oil and my moisturizer severely
00:16:41.580
So I asked him, he goes, my face was really dry.
00:16:44.040
And I said, what are you dumping like a trough of it on your hand?
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He's like, oh, I literally was just pouring it on.
00:17:02.220
At least he knows he's like taking care of himself.
00:17:10.400
Are you gonna go to Sephora and get me another?
00:17:16.620
So the comments on this video literally say, like this first one says, toxic masculinity
00:17:31.060
But again, at the end of the day, like the question's not a huge deal.
00:17:37.360
But two, like I would not be offended by someone asking me that.
00:17:40.980
But that's because classically, straight people are like what's sought after.
00:17:51.780
So there's like, there's nothing wrong with it.
00:18:08.840
Let me sip some water real quick because I swear to God.
00:18:11.260
If women are majestic, if I could, I would sweep women up in a heartbeat.
00:18:27.800
I would be such a good husband or like boyfriend.
00:18:31.440
And like I get, I honestly get comments every single day of like, I wish you were straight.
00:18:36.160
Like very like, I would totally date you if I was straight.
00:18:38.100
And I'm like, where are the men saying that to me?
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I mean, I'll get like, I'll literally get like nudes on my dams and I'm like, what am
00:19:24.340
That's the part I've been trying to like oppress.
00:19:45.540
Like fashion is like again an artistic expression.
00:19:49.460
It's like I just don't understand like why anyone has to be a certain type of way sexually
00:19:52.320
to express themselves in whatever way they want to.
00:19:54.880
Well and like if you think like of the most like aggressively straight dude that that says
00:20:09.960
You think I'm going to take advice from that dude?
00:20:15.520
It's because they don't want to show their toes.
00:20:31.860
It's giving me climbing in the tree with your teeth.
00:20:50.600
I can't even tell if like I would prefer the shoes or bare feet on that one.
00:23:55.340
He was like staring at me like being hella weird.
00:24:07.820
And he would be like looking at me when I would like bend over to grab something.
00:24:28.820
My manager literally let me go because he was mad that I wouldn't stay.
00:24:33.340
Like I went to college in Hawaii so that's where I was serving.
00:24:35.920
And he was like are you not staying for Christmas?
00:24:39.600
And I only worked like four days a week so I was like I told you this is a part-time
00:24:50.880
I said girl this is money for me to get drunk on the weekends.
00:24:56.520
I'm like I leave here and I buy a 30 rack for me and my friends.
00:25:06.000
Literally like like it's a lifelong commitment.
00:25:17.160
And I literally he I remember he like put me on call.
00:25:23.460
Like he basically called me the worst server in the world.
00:25:26.220
And then I went home and I cried because you know I was like.
00:25:42.620
And it was this dude that kept leaving in the middle of our shift to go do drugs in the bathroom.
00:25:47.460
So then at the end he's like Drew I want to talk to you after your shift.
00:25:50.440
And I go okay it's probably to like talk about this guy.
00:25:53.000
And I was like girl do I have some tea for you.
00:26:11.940
Then he calls me he's like are you not coming in for your shift today?
00:26:33.680
That was also not the first time I got fired but that's besides the point.
00:26:38.500
Okay so now we're going to go into the next video which is actually pretty on brand because
00:26:44.240
And so this video was basically someone talking about growing up around her family and basically
00:26:48.720
saying they used to always like harp on her that she needed to learn how to cook or
00:26:54.680
And they were saying she she said she's always hated machismo and like the whole ideology
00:26:59.820
And she told herself that she would never cook for one.
00:27:05.820
And her family would tell her that if she didn't cook for her man then he would beat
00:27:10.540
And then when she told them that she'd never let a man get aggressive with her they would
00:27:19.180
Your family should not like you need to find a chosen family.
00:27:27.040
I mean that I deal with it I get it because like especially in like Latina culture especially
00:27:32.180
like you know let's say 10 years ago 20 years ago it's very like wife stays home cooks.
00:27:41.720
And it's very like man goes out works provides the end.
00:27:47.860
I'm like almost like like praising aggressive kind of nature which again is very like just
00:28:14.540
No but it's just it's it's just wild to me that like like the fact that her family was
00:28:22.460
the one kind of instilling that her which is horrible because it's like your family
00:28:30.140
And they're supposed to like you'd think they would like you know it's just like a cultural
00:28:35.480
I think that's the case with a lot of minority families too.
00:28:39.880
And just the fact that they would say that she would get B is just kind of awful.
00:28:46.320
And then it says that the good news is that the plot twist is now she's married to her
00:28:50.840
wife who never yells or gets aggressive when she doesn't cook for her because she can
00:28:55.180
cook for herself which I mean women are superior.
00:29:08.420
I'm glad that she you know found her happy place essentially.
00:29:13.740
And it's hard because like in Latino culture it's very like you know in traditional like
00:29:17.040
in more of like a white traditional family it's very like okay everyone's leaving at
00:29:19.760
18 like you're a grown ass adult you gotta get out of the house.
00:29:22.960
Latino culture is very like you don't leave till you're like married.
00:29:28.980
It's very normal to live at the house for a long time.
00:29:35.700
Like you leave you get married and then you move back in.
00:29:39.080
So it's just it's like that you're like in that kind of environment for a lot longer.
00:29:52.160
And like also you don't want to upset your family because it's also like such a close
00:30:00.140
It's pretty horrible but I'm glad you chose you girl.
00:30:04.160
And so the comments on this like this first one says my family did this and I blatantly
00:30:25.900
You know what's so like crazy is like my boyfriend loves to cook.
00:30:55.620
This next one says I cook for my boyfriend but he does cleaning and laundry and helps
00:31:08.720
I think that's such a like a balancing act too because that's like something that I like
00:31:13.740
in Samoan culture like men do all the cooking and cleaning.
00:31:18.100
So like my dad does the majority of cooking and cleaning.
00:31:22.660
My dad works too but like my dad prefers to cook and clean.
00:31:26.020
So like that's just like something that's been so normalized to me.
00:31:29.580
So when I see like the rotten garbage on TikTok when they're like my wife should be on the
00:31:37.520
And in the same note they're like and recount the votes.
00:31:55.080
Like literally I when I see that shit it's just so polar opposite to what I've been I've
00:32:01.240
So I guess that's like it's something that's cool that's I don't know if it's unique to
00:32:04.920
my culture but like men do all the cooking and cleaning and like women like take care
00:32:10.920
So like that's kind of like how it works in my family but like my boyfriend cooks and
00:32:14.880
cleans I cook and clean it's like I mean he cooks more than I do.
00:32:31.380
So now we're going to play a fun little gamey game.
00:33:29.780
I'm going to ask you questions to see if you have traits of toxic masculinity or traits
00:33:40.500
You're magically back to being 10 years old and your sister has stolen your Game Boy
00:33:51.160
C. Tell your dad and he tells you boys don't cry and tough it out.
00:34:01.560
So I think I would realistically it would be like B. I would like tell my mom and dad.
00:34:21.620
And he had said something to me that was so mean and so rude and so nasty.
00:34:24.420
And I told my mom and she was like because of how bad that was you got to
00:34:36.880
And I was like see then you'll learn your lesson huh.
00:34:39.240
But I didn't like deal with it with him because I was like what do I say.
00:34:51.160
So I don't even know what that was toxic or not but I didn't.
00:35:01.020
When I was little though I might fight my sister.
00:35:06.360
I just start attacking her and then I fight my mom.
00:35:18.060
I'm four years older than my middle one and then eight years older than my littlest one.
00:35:23.140
So I was always so much bigger so I knew that I couldn't like fight them because like I would hurt them.
00:35:30.260
But then our brother my brother is nine years younger than me.
00:35:34.760
So like him he's like he was raised so like far away from me.
00:35:56.920
That's literally my dad still to this day with all three of us.
00:36:08.400
Okay the next one says a certain famous tiktoker publicly roasts you.
00:36:21.920
C. I'm dropping the photo in the group chat I think.
00:36:26.680
Yeah I'm like telling all my friends about it and venting to my friends about it.
00:36:32.040
Because I don't want it to be like a full situation.
00:36:33.420
Because I think most of the times if someone's trying you like that they're actually wanting
00:36:37.880
Especially because it's literally happened to me I'm not kidding you like a couple months
00:36:43.980
And she was like calling me out by name trying me like fully.
00:36:47.320
And I was like I'm not even going to like pay attention to this.
00:36:49.100
I'm just going to go ahead and like talk to my friends about it.
00:36:53.760
Because I'm like I'm literally like an infant in this world.
00:36:57.700
So like when I when I have to deal with this stuff now because obviously like men be trying
00:37:04.140
But it's like so obvious to me now when it's like for like clicks.
00:37:08.100
Like they're beating you when they're trying to beat you.
00:37:11.500
So I'm like it's funny because you have rocks in your head if you think I'm like on the same
00:37:18.520
I'm like we're not on like we're not not even on the same level.
00:37:28.720
That's why that's why for me I'm like I'd rather just vent about it to my friends.
00:37:35.040
I know they do because in the next day they do it again.
00:37:41.600
And I'm like I don't know what you're asking for girl.
00:37:45.720
I'm sorry like I'm literally running an empire.
00:37:53.160
That's all I'm all thanks for the house though.
00:37:59.180
Okay this next one says a female friend tries to explain a situation that she's in and seeks
00:38:08.780
Create the emotional space to allow her to vent.
00:38:13.760
Flex in the bathroom stall and send her the photo.
00:38:19.880
I'm definitely like I feel like I'm actually a really good communicator.
00:38:22.580
When it comes to like talking about like feelings being empathetic sympathetic and anything like
00:38:27.120
Like I feel like I'm one of the people that people like my friends go to to talk about
00:38:36.400
I'm not going to be like I'm an empath because I think it's fucking weird.
00:38:42.000
But I think I can be very I can understand a lot of people's feelings.
00:38:45.520
Like my whole entire life was trying to understand people's feelings so that I can like mold
00:38:51.260
So I feel like as an adult I can like see that and be like okay I understand where
00:38:57.740
See where they're coming from and kind of like relate a little bit more.
00:39:06.800
I know and I've heard like trauma about Aries men.
00:39:12.060
But I'm also like my rising and my moon are like Sag and Leo.
00:39:32.840
Yeah see you could literally tell you could tell the guy I'm talking to is a Virgo.
00:39:51.860
But I think that's more so not even with my sign.
00:40:00.260
You just blowing and going when you were young.
00:40:20.100
Also like the fact that like because I have you know a substantial following and things
00:40:26.680
Than it would if I didn't because I feel like when you have people that look up to you.
00:40:30.560
Like you want to be a person that they look up to.
00:40:33.060
So like you in turn you kind of like just make yourself a better version of yourself.
00:40:37.460
Because you want to be someone that's worthy of like this platform.
00:40:46.280
So you know how like at the end Rue goes the thought of being a good person makes you
00:40:53.520
Like that's that's like what being an influencer is like.
00:40:56.780
It's like you want to be good for people because they're looking up to you.
00:41:03.100
And that's how it was like for me since I started when I was 24.
00:41:08.740
I love that you're an Aries man because then it gives me perspective.
00:41:19.960
But I feel like Virgos have always been like very like kind of organized and very like put together.
00:41:45.140
I'm like do I have to stop liking you first before you start.
00:41:46.940
Yeah that's literally quitting before you get fired.
00:41:53.060
I'm like so do you still like me or do I have to stop talking to someone else?
00:41:56.940
Tell me now because if that's the case I've never liked you.
00:42:02.640
I'm like oh that's fine because like I literally never cared as I'm crying in the shower.
00:42:16.900
I feel like a lot of times when I'm talking to guys like.
00:42:24.260
It's months later they're like you know what I completely changed my mind.
00:42:28.760
And I'm like that's funny because I actually closed that door already.
00:42:31.440
For me like once I closed the door and I moved on I'm never going back.
00:42:45.660
Even if I liked them before I'm like too bad you lost your chance.
00:42:53.960
Well that's another thing too about Aries is that they move on but they never forget.
00:43:21.900
Honestly I think you're more so leaning towards healthy.
00:43:27.420
But so yeah but some of your stuff was so like middle of the road that I was like.
00:43:31.440
But the answers were literally like the fucking options were they're like go flex in a mirror
00:43:44.680
Or be there for her and be an empathetic human.
00:43:56.420
Those are all the things I would definitely do.
00:43:59.980
I'm sorry we're talking about astrological science too much.
00:44:04.260
They're so good at like getting along with anybody.
00:44:12.760
So not only am I an Aries but I was a people pleaser as a child.
00:44:15.100
So it's like can you imagine me like and throw me in the deserts of Abu Dhabi.
00:44:42.740
That's why some people think y'all are like fake.
00:44:48.000
You know everything's like up for interpretation.
00:44:50.860
I see it as like you guys can just get along with anybody.
00:44:55.780
I'm not trying to have strife with anyone either.
00:45:38.940
I was there on the ground floor when you got Zaya.
00:46:01.060
So that's going to do it for this episode of the comment section show.
00:46:04.560
I want to thank the beautiful slutty amazing Manny MUA for joining me today.
00:46:48.720
And I want to thank Manny so much for joining us today.
00:46:52.660
And I also want the people to know wherever they can find you.
00:46:57.140
Do you have anything amazing that you want to promote?
00:47:15.720
I am just so incredibly honored to sit with The Ledge.
00:47:37.120
And for those of you who want to be featured on the next episode of the comment section show,
00:47:41.820
please make sure to tag me and all the TikToks you want me to bring here and rip like a phone book.
00:48:00.860
Do you ever see people who don't wash themselves with like loofahs or gloves?
00:48:05.960
What do you mean who don't wash themselves with that?
00:48:26.800
They're sticking that bare hand in between your cheeks.
00:48:33.120
I have a nice little Japanese material that's really that's scrubbing.
00:48:37.960
I have like little gloves that I literally put on.
00:48:53.060
Anyways, thank you so much for joining me on this episode of the comment section show.
00:48:57.320
If you want to watch full episodes, be sure to subscribe to Pass Your Bed Time on YouTube.
00:49:01.480
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00:49:05.520
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