The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 How come no one wants to know about the real me?

00:00:02.580 The smart me.

00:00:03.940 Like you at home, like literally opening up

00:00:06.100 like a competition three.

00:00:07.480 I roast men on the internet,

00:00:10.340 but I wish people just knew a side of me.

00:00:12.520 If they only knew.

00:00:13.640 Like the lo-fi, like the one that all the students use

00:00:16.400 in college, like the lo-fi beats.

00:00:17.740 You're like, I just wish people saw this side of me.

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00:01:24.980 Hi, everyone, and welcome back

00:01:26.340 to another episode of the Comment Section Show

00:01:28.340 starring me, your fave, Drew,

00:01:29.900 who cares about me.

00:01:30.740 Anyways, everyone tunes in only for the guests.

00:01:33.360 Anyways, so today I have one of my faves,

00:01:36.320 a fellow API, but not a trailblazer,

00:01:38.860 Austin Cho.

00:01:40.260 Woo!

00:01:41.980 Me and Austin go way back.

00:01:43.600 From birth.

00:01:44.260 So, literal.

00:01:45.200 Birth.

00:01:45.520 Came out together, actually.

00:01:47.200 We were in the womb together.

00:01:48.140 I just waited a little longer, actually.

00:01:49.860 If you looked at our mom's sonogram,

00:01:51.540 it's us going.

00:01:53.380 With our left eye.

00:01:54.300 And we both have astigmatism in the left eye.

00:01:56.640 So, both of us were like,

00:01:57.900 okay, like, when we come out.

00:01:59.220 We made the same face.

00:02:00.280 We were both like.

00:02:01.940 With the monocle.

00:02:02.920 With the monocle, we're like.

00:02:04.320 Yeah, we were just talking about

00:02:05.160 how we both have an astigmatism.

00:02:06.780 And our mom, by the way,

00:02:08.240 it's not her fault.

00:02:09.580 Further proof that we were in the same womb.

00:02:11.820 Absolutely.

00:02:12.300 Clearly.

00:02:12.840 It was really, really.

00:02:14.280 It was a party.

00:02:14.880 And the likeness is uncanny.

00:02:17.760 Uncanny.

00:02:18.060 You can't tell the difference

00:02:18.920 between the two of us.

00:02:20.820 Where is your mom, though, for real?

00:02:22.160 Like, I actually.

00:02:22.580 She's out here.

00:02:23.280 She's girl bossing.

00:02:25.220 I was going to say, like,

00:02:26.300 I love your mom.

00:02:27.220 I'm obsessed with her.

00:02:28.040 Like, I am in the DMs with her all the time.

00:02:30.540 I know she told me.

00:02:32.000 She was like, oh, yeah.

00:02:33.120 Austin messages me all the time.

00:02:34.560 I was like, Austin Cho.

00:02:35.600 I'm like, so brunch went?

00:02:37.420 Because I'm like,

00:02:37.840 I'm trying to come through this cookout.

00:02:39.320 I'm like, that's crazy

00:02:40.120 because he never messages me.

00:02:41.560 So that's wild.

00:02:42.940 Well, that's my mom.

00:02:43.640 It's different.

00:02:44.680 Siblings, mom.

00:02:45.640 Hello.

00:02:46.620 Vibes are different.

00:02:47.540 Yeah, vibes are different.

00:02:48.660 How you been, babe?

00:02:50.640 Existing.

00:02:51.340 Yeah.

00:02:51.920 Thriving.

00:02:52.760 Low key.

00:02:53.520 Thriving, but also just,

00:02:55.160 at times, just existing.

00:02:56.780 Austin was also a trailblazer.

00:02:58.340 I was a trailblazer for API.

00:02:59.900 You were.

00:03:00.260 LGBTQ.

00:03:00.960 Yes.

00:03:01.440 Pride trailblazer.

00:03:02.340 Right after.

00:03:03.120 Right after you.

00:03:04.280 Pride looked so fun.

00:03:05.480 Pride was crazy.

00:03:06.580 It looked crazy.

00:03:07.500 It looked wild.

00:03:08.200 That was my first LA Pride.

00:03:09.580 Oh, really?

00:03:10.120 It was like getting thrown in to just like,

00:03:12.640 well, not even just like pushed in.

00:03:14.540 It was like,

00:03:15.080 if I was a football and they went,

00:03:17.860 go,

00:03:18.960 and I was like spiraling in.

00:03:20.400 I'm like,

00:03:20.780 oh my God,

00:03:21.540 like,

00:03:21.940 what is this?

00:03:23.160 That was for the straights.

00:03:24.620 Oh, absolutely.

00:03:25.360 A football reference.

00:03:26.740 Love that.

00:03:28.760 You fooled me.

00:03:32.220 I did.

00:03:32.920 In the NFL,

00:03:33.760 I'm here.

00:03:34.380 Okay.

00:03:34.680 Whenever you need me.

00:03:35.580 I know.

00:03:36.880 And you've been busy.

00:03:38.680 Busy girl.

00:03:39.500 Busy girl.

00:03:40.260 Booked and busy.

00:03:41.400 I low-key don't know how I'm still standing.

00:03:43.820 I don't know how you're still standing.

00:03:44.820 Yeah,

00:03:45.180 you and me both.

00:03:45.900 I'm like low-key.

00:03:46.980 I feel like,

00:03:47.880 another day.

00:03:49.000 Yeah,

00:03:49.380 I'm running on fumes at this point.

00:03:51.740 Yeah,

00:03:51.920 honestly.

00:03:52.760 Yeah,

00:03:53.260 sometimes people ask us that a lot.

00:03:55.100 They're like,

00:03:55.260 how do you do it?

00:03:56.140 Like,

00:03:56.460 are you busy all the time?

00:03:57.540 I ask myself this every morning when I open my eye and my anxiety meets me at the door

00:04:01.440 and it's like,

00:04:01.880 come on,

00:04:02.160 baby,

00:04:02.360 let's get up.

00:04:03.400 Your one eye.

00:04:03.780 Let's get up.

00:04:04.740 When you open your one eye,

00:04:05.940 your good eye.

00:04:06.380 Or even in my subconscious,

00:04:07.820 like,

00:04:07.980 my eyes will still be shut and I'll be like,

00:04:09.780 I don't,

00:04:10.280 I know I don't have anything.

00:04:11.900 And then it's like,

00:04:13.000 my anxiety,

00:04:13.700 if it was personified,

00:04:14.460 would be like,

00:04:15.620 Austin,

00:04:17.020 yeah,

00:04:17.840 anxiety's here.

00:04:18.800 The house is burning.

00:04:19.840 The house is burning.

00:04:20.400 You need to leave.

00:04:21.000 But you still need coffee to make this worse.

00:04:23.680 Are you someone who's late no matter what?

00:04:25.520 No.

00:04:25.800 And you'll stop for coffee?

00:04:27.080 No.

00:04:27.640 I mean,

00:04:27.920 like,

00:04:28.760 not maybe.

00:04:29.560 I mean,

00:04:29.740 like,

00:04:29.940 I just,

00:04:30.440 I'm super punctual,

00:04:31.420 but it's like,

00:04:31.860 because of my anxiety.

00:04:33.080 Like,

00:04:33.480 even before I came here,

00:04:34.560 it was like,

00:04:35.540 I could watch two more minutes of this show or I might have to panic.

00:04:40.160 That's so funny.

00:04:41.880 Cause I have,

00:04:42.740 I have really bad anxiety too,

00:04:44.140 but it manifests differently.

00:04:46.140 But I,

00:04:47.360 lateness,

00:04:48.320 I,

00:04:48.620 that's the one thing I wish I could change about myself is that I'm late.

00:04:51.600 How often are you late?

00:04:52.520 Every time.

00:04:53.140 Personality trait?

00:04:54.400 Yeah.

00:04:54.580 It's just one of those things I'm not proud of.

00:04:56.520 Like I say it all the time.

00:04:57.360 I'm like,

00:04:57.580 I'm sorry,

00:04:58.140 dude.

00:04:58.300 Like if you tell me,

00:05:00.140 like,

00:05:00.380 if I tell you what time I'm going to be there,

00:05:01.860 go ahead and add two hours.

00:05:03.300 Cause I'm not,

00:05:03.820 I'm a liar.

00:05:04.740 I'm a liar.

00:05:05.700 I don't always listen.

00:05:07.320 Hold on.

00:05:07.760 That makes me say that's like a whole,

00:05:09.180 the one thing I'm never late for is flights.

00:05:11.640 I'm literally,

00:05:12.540 I'm like,

00:05:13.160 I'm like your suburban white mom.

00:05:16.000 I'm literally like,

00:05:16.840 everyone's up at 3am.

00:05:18.060 I'm like up,

00:05:18.740 everybody's up.

00:05:19.340 We got to go.

00:05:19.840 We got to go.

00:05:20.260 We got to go.

00:05:20.840 Right.

00:05:21.180 I'm like,

00:05:21.520 it's,

00:05:22.020 we only have seven hours to get there.

00:05:23.780 We have to get there now.

00:05:24.720 I wish I had that kind of urgency with regular things.

00:05:28.440 This is the only job I could have.

00:05:30.060 I just said this the other day.

00:05:31.000 This is the only job I could have where I can be late and wear whatever I want.

00:05:34.780 That's like the only,

00:05:35.740 this is the only job I could have where I could do that.

00:05:37.960 Actually.

00:05:38.260 Yeah,

00:05:38.440 I know that is actually the only job.

00:05:40.640 Literally the universe is like,

00:05:41.780 this is it.

00:05:42.400 Listen,

00:05:42.800 this is like,

00:05:43.400 okay.

00:05:43.860 Sometimes like,

00:05:44.740 cause I'm someone,

00:05:45.460 we call it like someone time.

00:05:47.080 Cause they're all late.

00:05:48.380 Like I got this from somewhere.

00:05:49.860 Our mom,

00:05:50.740 take it up with her.

00:05:52.360 Take it up with her.

00:05:53.600 Yeah.

00:05:53.860 But it's like,

00:05:54.580 okay.

00:05:54.800 I'll give you an example,

00:05:55.840 right?

00:05:56.180 Minority people.

00:05:56.780 I feel like you feel me on this,

00:05:58.320 but obviously you don't cause you're punctual,

00:06:00.800 whatever.

00:06:01.160 Bragger.

00:06:01.640 It's the Capricorn.

00:06:03.260 Don't blame me.

00:06:04.180 Like for me,

00:06:05.040 it's like,

00:06:05.660 okay,

00:06:05.860 let's say you're throwing a party,

00:06:06.900 right?

00:06:07.060 Like a barbecue.

00:06:08.400 You invite all your friends.

00:06:10.000 You're like,

00:06:10.440 Hey,

00:06:10.980 be here at 12.

00:06:12.380 And they're like,

00:06:12.920 okay,

00:06:13.180 it's a family party,

00:06:14.040 like barbecue at the house.

00:06:15.280 Right.

00:06:16.040 And then you don't start getting ready to like 1130.

00:06:19.260 And then your white friends show up at 12 and you're like,

00:06:22.400 you're early.

00:06:23.200 And they're like,

00:06:23.920 you said 12.

00:06:25.120 And then you're like,

00:06:26.080 that means two.

00:06:26.860 I thought you knew that.

00:06:27.840 And then they're helping your family set up.

00:06:29.740 You know what I mean?

00:06:30.020 They're like opening chairs and like folding tables.

00:06:32.400 Well,

00:06:32.820 you're stepping on my neck with full blown stiletto.

00:06:37.000 Do you show up early and help set up?

00:06:40.100 Well,

00:06:40.360 I would literally be in the kitchen probably with your mom.

00:06:43.340 Yeah.

00:06:43.360 Yeah.

00:06:43.860 Literally like,

00:06:45.120 what do you need me to cut?

00:06:46.260 What do you need me to cut?

00:06:47.240 You need me to run to Trader Joe's?

00:06:48.700 I can go right now.

00:06:49.640 Literally.

00:06:50.300 My white friends show up early and they're like,

00:06:51.920 yeah,

00:06:52.240 like they vibe with my parents because nobody else is there yet.

00:06:55.340 Like my little brother's there.

00:06:56.660 And then he's like,

00:06:57.720 what's up?

00:06:58.460 Hey,

00:06:58.740 yeah.

00:06:59.380 And I'm in the shower.

00:07:00.300 Like I didn't even answer the door.

00:07:01.580 My dad did.

00:07:02.140 My lashes uncurled.

00:07:03.600 Yeah.

00:07:04.160 Literally.

00:07:04.640 I'm in the shower at 1145.

00:07:07.440 I wish I could change it.

00:07:08.700 I wish.

00:07:09.220 You know what?

00:07:09.920 I feel like I do want to change in that regard a little bit because it's awkward being early.

00:07:15.200 You know what I'm saying?

00:07:15.940 Like you show up and it's like crickets or like,

00:07:18.880 you know,

00:07:19.060 like,

00:07:19.360 like maybe the mom is not even ready.

00:07:21.700 Damn.

00:07:22.000 I wish Carrie was here.

00:07:23.080 Cause Carrie came to a party at my house.

00:07:25.200 Carrie was like,

00:07:30.900 we're such losers.

00:07:32.460 We came on time because she showed up and no one came for like another hour.

00:07:37.460 So it was just her,

00:07:39.940 her girlfriend and my boyfriend.

00:07:41.820 Okay.

00:07:42.060 But like that would be me too.

00:07:43.320 They're just vibing.

00:07:44.020 But like they,

00:07:44.620 they were,

00:07:45.080 I fucking love Carrie and her girlfriend.

00:07:46.440 So it was so fun.

00:07:47.560 But like,

00:07:47.920 it's so funny.

00:07:48.580 Cause it's,

00:07:48.960 it's literal manifestation of what I talk about all the time.

00:07:52.000 When I was in,

00:07:53.100 when I was in college,

00:07:53.820 some of my best friends were white girls.

00:07:56.040 So one time,

00:07:57.160 one of my friends,

00:07:57.820 she told me,

00:07:58.360 she's like,

00:07:59.280 uh,

00:07:59.680 Hey,

00:07:59.920 I'll meet you there right now.

00:08:01.060 And I was like,

00:08:01.620 okay,

00:08:01.800 I'm going to leave right now.

00:08:03.000 And she said,

00:08:03.680 I want a video of you leaving.

00:08:05.220 She wanted me to text her a video of me getting on my moped and leaving.

00:08:08.580 I was like,

00:08:09.200 girl,

00:08:09.340 I'm not sending that to you.

00:08:10.360 What are you out of your mind?

00:08:11.460 She's like,

00:08:11.840 I'm not leaving this house till I know for a fact you're on the way.

00:08:15.100 Cause I'm going to be there in two minutes.

00:08:16.320 And if you're not there,

00:08:16.920 I won't be mad.

00:08:19.060 Are they still your friends?

00:08:20.260 Or do they just know at this point to be like,

00:08:26.340 you know what?

00:08:26.980 It is what it is.

00:08:28.240 Yes.

00:08:28.800 No,

00:08:29.140 now even my team,

00:08:30.420 they lie to me.

00:08:31.440 They'll tell me like,

00:08:32.420 God,

00:08:32.700 you need to be there.

00:08:33.840 They'll literally tell me you need to be there by 12.

00:08:36.080 And I'm like,

00:08:36.600 okay.

00:08:37.440 And then at 1130,

00:08:38.580 they're like,

00:08:39.000 what,

00:08:39.180 how are we looking on time?

00:08:40.120 And I'm like,

00:08:40.560 I'm probably going to need more.

00:08:42.040 And then they're like,

00:08:42.620 okay.

00:08:42.920 And then I get down there and they're like,

00:08:44.080 you didn't have to be here till two.

00:08:45.320 I just,

00:08:46.140 I told you 12.

00:08:46.920 They start lying to me,

00:08:47.840 which I'm okay with.

00:08:48.700 Lie to me.

00:08:49.660 That's what you need.

00:08:50.400 Sometimes it's just,

00:08:51.240 those are the measures that you have to do to remain professional.

00:08:54.820 At least I'm honest though.

00:08:56.160 Like sometimes I,

00:08:57.400 you know,

00:08:57.760 if I,

00:08:58.160 I don't like it.

00:08:58.800 Again,

00:08:59.000 this is the one job that is suited for us.

00:09:01.600 It's going to be okay.

00:09:02.680 You're always punctual though.

00:09:03.920 You bitch.

00:09:05.760 You're like,

00:09:06.400 you're so opposites in that way.

00:09:07.940 We've set that contract in the womb.

00:09:09.580 Remember?

00:09:10.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:09:10.120 I was like,

00:09:10.500 you got OC twins fraternal.

00:09:12.700 Well,

00:09:13.040 actually identical.

00:09:13.920 We're identical.

00:09:14.200 No,

00:09:14.400 we're identical.

00:09:15.620 No,

00:09:16.040 we're identical.

00:09:16.620 And everything is just subjective at this point.

00:09:19.060 So,

00:09:19.560 yeah.

00:09:20.000 Well,

00:09:20.440 honestly,

00:09:20.800 this is a perfect segue into our topic for today.

00:09:22.900 Cause we're talking about living,

00:09:24.160 learning how to be your authentic self.

00:09:25.880 This is me talking about being late,

00:09:27.800 right?

00:09:28.280 And it's so authentic.

00:09:29.260 My truest self.

00:09:30.180 It's so authentic.

00:09:30.880 You know what?

00:09:31.940 You are so real.

00:09:33.340 You are so real.

00:09:34.600 You're so real for that girl.

00:09:36.300 No,

00:09:36.600 you're so real.

00:09:37.460 FR FR like FR in bold caps.

00:09:42.300 And I told Austin,

00:09:43.560 I picked this topic specifically because I saw your video about you saying not to get deep on y'all.

00:09:48.320 No,

00:09:48.740 but you were talking about learning to be more authentically yourself.

00:09:51.920 Cause obviously Austin,

00:09:53.140 as I'm sure a lot of,

00:09:53.960 you know,

00:09:54.580 um,

00:09:54.880 you do lots of skits and you're really funny and you do lots of like bits and stuff,

00:09:58.740 but you were talking about how you wanted to be more yourself,

00:10:01.540 right?

00:10:02.300 Yeah.

00:10:02.580 I mean like,

00:10:03.060 I feel like it's,

00:10:04.600 it's interesting because when I started tick tocking,

00:10:07.160 tick tocking,

00:10:08.980 tick tocking,

00:10:09.700 it was literally,

00:10:10.960 okay.

00:10:11.180 So backstory,

00:10:12.740 I feel like I've had chameleon syndrome all of my life.

00:10:17.280 And I'm,

00:10:18.280 by the way,

00:10:18.540 I'm born and raised in LA.

00:10:19.700 So I feel like that's partially it.

00:10:21.320 Like I'm like literally going to school with like the kid of the person that voices SpongeBob and like,

00:10:27.040 you know,

00:10:27.580 the guy who played Rocky,

00:10:28.900 like,

00:10:29.260 and then like,

00:10:30.000 it's like in middle school at such a vulnerable state in your life.

00:10:33.260 And I had no stability.

00:10:34.980 Like I had no foundation.

00:10:36.200 My mental was like,

00:10:37.240 I don't know who I am.

00:10:38.380 Like as most people that age are,

00:10:40.480 but I feel like I didn't have like the right confidence to just feel like I

00:10:46.660 could be myself.

00:10:47.420 So I was always trying to mold and blend and adapt.

00:10:50.280 And yeah,

00:10:50.820 that just became the norm.

00:10:51.340 Which is natural.

00:10:51.840 I feel like it happens.

00:10:52.760 Yeah.

00:10:53.060 And I feel like the climax of that was when I found myself working at a rental car place

00:10:59.640 outside of college.

00:11:00.600 I used to rent cars.

00:11:02.020 Really?

00:11:02.860 Like,

00:11:03.240 like,

00:11:03.480 like an enterprise type deal.

00:11:04.940 Yeah.

00:11:05.160 Like enterprise.

00:11:06.580 It's like that.

00:11:07.560 She who shall not be named.

00:11:09.480 I literally passed one on the way here.

00:11:10.720 And I was like the bane of my existence.

00:11:12.260 Goodbye.

00:11:13.140 The worst job.

00:11:14.360 Was it the worst job you've ever had?

00:11:15.560 Uh,

00:11:16.500 the worst part of it is I tricked myself to think I liked it.

00:11:20.320 Oh,

00:11:21.020 where I was like,

00:11:21.580 I would get up in the morning.

00:11:23.160 You want to say like coming early to work?

00:11:24.860 I was there like parked in front of enterprise,

00:11:26.720 like an hour before the manager gave me the keys.

00:11:29.540 The way I can't been like supposed to have it.

00:11:31.820 Cause she was like,

00:11:32.260 you're here before me every day.

00:11:33.900 It was just opened the store.

00:11:35.260 And I'm like,

00:11:35.820 okay.

00:11:37.200 Like where?

00:11:38.400 And then all of a sudden I became Squidward.

00:11:41.440 Like in a matter of a month,

00:11:43.440 I was like,

00:11:43.960 Oh,

00:11:44.120 I hate this.

00:11:44.700 I was like,

00:11:44.980 who am I?

00:11:45.680 Like,

00:11:45.860 I have a Ford F one 50 on the lot for you.

00:11:48.720 I'm like,

00:11:49.060 who am I becoming?

00:11:51.160 I had a huge identity crisis.

00:11:53.040 And then that happens with jobs a lot though,

00:11:55.000 especially in college or after.

00:11:56.860 That was right after college.

00:11:58.040 Yeah.

00:11:58.380 Say my,

00:11:58.900 my job right after college too.

00:12:00.340 Like it's the same,

00:12:01.480 same vibes as far as like you convince yourself that this is like how life is supposed to be.

00:12:07.180 You know what I mean?

00:12:07.800 It's,

00:12:08.220 it's all fake.

00:12:09.160 Yeah.

00:12:09.580 It's not real.

00:12:10.480 And so when I started TikTok,

00:12:12.340 it was like,

00:12:13.700 Oh my gosh,

00:12:15.440 wait,

00:12:15.620 like I finally get to discover like what my voice is,

00:12:18.480 like what my passions are,

00:12:20.180 who I want to be,

00:12:21.420 what I want to do.

00:12:22.720 And it started to kind of just,

00:12:24.620 it started in the skit format.

00:12:25.820 Right.

00:12:26.160 And I love,

00:12:27.740 I think because I'm just also like a dissociative girl.

00:12:30.460 And so like,

00:12:31.100 I'm always creating scenarios in my brain.

00:12:33.040 Right.

00:12:33.460 And so that's kind of my TikTok is literally a manifestation.

00:12:36.820 Of what my brain looks like.

00:12:38.260 Love.

00:12:38.720 But now I'm at this point where like,

00:12:41.380 okay,

00:12:41.660 great.

00:12:42.140 Cute.

00:12:42.820 Yeah.

00:12:43.180 Like I'm an uncle,

00:12:44.280 I guess.

00:12:44.860 And I'm also like triplets,

00:12:46.640 I guess.

00:12:46.960 Yeah.

00:12:47.360 Yeah.

00:12:48.140 But who am I?

00:12:49.060 Like,

00:12:49.320 you know what I'm saying?

00:12:49.980 Yeah.

00:12:50.160 Outside of that.

00:12:51.020 It's gotten to a point where I'm like,

00:12:52.260 well,

00:12:52.460 there's this gap between who I am right now.

00:12:55.540 Like Austin Cho,

00:12:56.200 like who I am,

00:12:56.800 who I am like filming these characters and what their story is and what is my story,

00:13:00.960 you know?

00:13:01.300 And I don't want that dissonance between my audience and me.

00:13:04.680 Well,

00:13:05.000 I think it's important to,

00:13:06.260 to distinguish that early,

00:13:07.840 especially now,

00:13:09.280 because in this industry,

00:13:11.060 like you said,

00:13:11.700 cause you grew up like literally within proximity to this industry.

00:13:15.440 It's so easy to like lose yourself in with,

00:13:19.900 whether it's like with the people you hang out with or the content that you make,

00:13:23.500 it's really easy to like kind of start playing characters.

00:13:26.600 Like you're like,

00:13:27.300 this is who I am online and this is who I am in real life.

00:13:29.460 Right.

00:13:29.640 And sometimes it helps people to distinguish,

00:13:32.020 but it's really easy to get lost in the sauce.

00:13:34.660 I feel like the sauce is muddy.

00:13:36.080 It's like goopy.

00:13:37.680 Yeah.

00:13:37.840 It's quicksand,

00:13:38.700 babe.

00:13:38.740 It's quicksand.

00:13:39.500 I'm drowning sometimes.

00:13:40.500 It's too easy to,

00:13:41.560 to like mold to that person,

00:13:43.940 but then you realize that's not you as a person.

00:13:46.760 Right.

00:13:47.040 And then when you meet people,

00:13:47.920 you're like,

00:13:48.580 should I be myself or should I be that other person?

00:13:51.340 Let me tell you,

00:13:52.240 like it's specifically like the hot epicenter for this experience happens mostly at like Disneyland for some reason.

00:14:00.440 I'll like,

00:14:00.920 and it's strange.

00:14:01.600 It doesn't really happen anywhere else.

00:14:02.980 Like I will be existing and most of the time it'll be hot.

00:14:05.320 I'm sweating.

00:14:05.920 But like,

00:14:06.240 I'm like with my family.

00:14:07.640 Right.

00:14:08.000 And then I'll hear,

00:14:09.020 and there's a ton of families at Disneyland,

00:14:10.460 obviously.

00:14:10.740 And I'll,

00:14:11.220 I'll hear like uncle.

00:14:13.560 And at first I'm like,

00:14:15.180 well,

00:14:15.360 that's just someone's uncle.

00:14:16.240 Like,

00:14:16.560 right.

00:14:17.420 But then it'd be like uncle.

00:14:19.500 Oh my God,

00:14:20.080 uncle.

00:14:20.780 And I would like,

00:14:21.420 they call you that in real life.

00:14:23.760 That's crazy.

00:14:24.580 So I don't know if this is like,

00:14:26.740 if anyone else has this experience with the word uncle,

00:14:29.340 like it,

00:14:29.980 I definitely have like,

00:14:31.800 you've Pavlov.

00:14:33.000 I'm like,

00:14:33.480 Oh,

00:14:33.980 I've major yourself.

00:14:36.000 And I'm like,

00:14:36.540 Oh,

00:14:36.820 like,

00:14:38.100 I guess I'm also an uncle.

00:14:39.760 Like,

00:14:39.880 you know what I'm saying?

00:14:40.380 It's weird because also specifically with that character,

00:14:43.120 it's the closest thing to me.

00:14:45.200 Like it's not me playing a completely different person.

00:14:49.180 It's like an extension of myself and like some other meta universe.

00:14:52.440 Yeah.

00:14:52.860 Yeah.

00:14:53.060 Yeah.

00:14:53.260 In this universe though.

00:14:54.460 So it's confusing.

00:14:55.740 It almost feels like everything everywhere all at once,

00:14:57.380 but in like my real life,

00:14:58.460 like simultaneously.

00:14:59.580 So I'm like,

00:15:00.300 where am I?

00:15:01.180 Like,

00:15:01.420 where's my voice?

00:15:02.260 Like,

00:15:02.500 where's just Austin sometimes?

00:15:04.460 Yeah.

00:15:04.920 Which is why I feel pulled now to just be,

00:15:08.560 you know,

00:15:08.800 like I want to do that too.

00:15:10.300 Of course I want to maintain that part of my creativity,

00:15:12.400 but at the same time,

00:15:13.240 I want people to know who's creating this.

00:15:15.560 Like,

00:15:15.720 who am I sometimes making these things,

00:15:17.820 which is,

00:15:18.300 I feel like helpful too,

00:15:19.420 to maybe understand some certain narratives that I play.

00:15:22.420 Yeah.

00:15:22.660 Because it might be telling of where I'm at.

00:15:25.020 Yeah.

00:15:25.180 Do you have imposter syndrome?

00:15:26.940 Oh,

00:15:27.420 big time.

00:15:27.880 That's probably a big reason why too.

00:15:29.320 Oh yeah.

00:15:29.620 Because too easily,

00:15:31.020 if you,

00:15:31.900 if you make too far of a gap between you and the people that you play,

00:15:36.380 right.

00:15:37.220 Eventually,

00:15:37.760 like when your imposter syndrome kicks in,

00:15:39.940 you start to think like,

00:15:41.020 they don't like me.

00:15:41.660 They like this person.

00:15:42.640 Right.

00:15:43.020 Right.

00:15:43.240 So then it,

00:15:43.840 it like subverts your confidence and your ability to create content and everything.

00:15:47.940 Look at me giving you free therapy.

00:15:48.980 You're welcome.

00:15:49.440 I'm like,

00:15:50.240 um,

00:15:51.240 um,

00:15:51.640 baby.

00:15:52.660 Get the tissue.

00:15:54.260 Well,

00:15:54.400 that's why it's good.

00:15:55.240 That's why it's good that you caught it.

00:15:56.620 Now you're like,

00:15:57.460 this is something I need to diagnose now and confront now.

00:16:00.440 So that way my audience knows.

00:16:02.280 And I think you and I both have this with our audiences is that they're really,

00:16:06.360 really great at listening and understanding like boundaries in that sense.

00:16:11.140 For sure.

00:16:11.580 So when you talk to them openly and you express them,

00:16:14.100 like,

00:16:14.260 I want to start trying to be more authentically myself.

00:16:17.100 Um,

00:16:17.460 there were like,

00:16:17.960 Oh,

00:16:18.100 that's so great.

00:16:18.800 Like,

00:16:19.000 I'm so happy for you.

00:16:20.120 And they're really understanding in that sense.

00:16:22.260 And I feel that too,

00:16:23.240 to an extent,

00:16:23.780 because although like my content is just me,

00:16:27.360 it's not my entire personality.

00:16:29.580 So like,

00:16:30.420 sometimes people ask me,

00:16:31.780 are you just like this all the time?

00:16:33.120 And I'm all just mean.

00:16:34.440 No.

00:16:35.680 You think I'm a mean person all the time?

00:16:37.440 A bully to like your Trader Joe's cashier.

00:16:40.940 The most random people in the world.

00:16:42.760 Like I was like,

00:16:43.660 no,

00:16:44.080 because I don't hang out with people like this.

00:16:46.700 Like I don't hang out with people like,

00:16:47.760 Hey,

00:16:48.560 like,

00:16:49.000 no,

00:16:49.360 like that's bad.

00:16:50.100 I don't know.

00:16:50.760 Frequency vibes.

00:16:51.700 Yeah.

00:16:52.080 And I'm not as like on all the time.

00:16:55.180 So when people meet me in real life,

00:16:56.680 a lot of times,

00:16:57.500 like,

00:16:57.680 especially other creators,

00:16:58.620 they're like,

00:16:59.220 you're a lot more like you're Zen.

00:17:00.940 Like,

00:17:01.300 yeah.

00:17:01.560 Like laid back and chill.

00:17:03.020 Then I thought you would be,

00:17:05.360 well,

00:17:05.460 you know what?

00:17:05.880 Like kind of,

00:17:06.460 to kind of tie in my,

00:17:08.000 I guess,

00:17:08.340 perception of that seeing you on the internet,

00:17:10.220 it's like this literal,

00:17:11.860 like boiler room fire,

00:17:13.140 like flamethrower,

00:17:15.000 like,

00:17:15.240 and then in person,

00:17:17.700 it almost feels like,

00:17:20.180 yeah,

00:17:20.440 like,

00:17:20.620 you know,

00:17:20.900 the fires in there,

00:17:21.640 but it's like,

00:17:22.040 I'm storing it.

00:17:23.100 Like I'm preserving this energy.

00:17:25.500 You know,

00:17:26.080 I mean,

00:17:26.740 literally it's so,

00:17:28.320 it's so like,

00:17:29.840 it is.

00:17:30.340 And it's kind of nice.

00:17:31.300 It's very chill.

00:17:31.800 Yeah.

00:17:31.920 It's very grounding.

00:17:33.160 Yeah.

00:17:33.840 I like it.

00:17:35.240 And it's Virgo season.

00:17:36.200 My dad's a Virgo.

00:17:36.900 I know this energy.

00:17:38.080 Virgo man.

00:17:38.900 Virgo man.

00:17:40.060 Virgo man.

00:17:40.740 Rough.

00:17:41.540 Rough.

00:17:41.860 And my mom's a Taurus.

00:17:42.940 I'm like a full,

00:17:43.520 full earth side family.

00:17:44.580 I'm a Capricorn.

00:17:45.500 So I love,

00:17:46.240 Oh yeah.

00:17:46.520 You guys are all earth signs.

00:17:47.520 That's so funny.

00:17:48.160 I love Tauruses though.

00:17:49.380 Taurus women too.

00:17:50.280 Well,

00:17:50.700 put all three earth signs in one cohesive dynamic.

00:17:53.920 And it's not,

00:17:55.080 not to read you,

00:17:55.860 but no wonder you have anxiety.

00:17:57.120 Oh my God.

00:17:58.160 This is like the whole internet is probably like,

00:18:00.700 I feel like collectively gasping,

00:18:03.280 like earth sign energy.

00:18:06.000 That's crazy.

00:18:06.520 No,

00:18:06.940 like complete emotional stunting.

00:18:09.180 Like we're not allowed to like really have conversation.

00:18:11.540 No wonder you're so punctual.

00:18:13.180 Oh my God.

00:18:13.660 It's fear.

00:18:14.100 Yeah.

00:18:15.320 I had a psychic reading like earlier this year and she was like,

00:18:18.180 Oh my God,

00:18:19.280 the fear that you have.

00:18:21.100 Are you okay?

00:18:21.680 No,

00:18:21.880 literally.

00:18:22.300 She was like,

00:18:22.880 baby,

00:18:23.140 like you need to come in for like a chakra reading.

00:18:25.800 And I was like,

00:18:26.520 is it bad?

00:18:27.400 I was like,

00:18:27.680 it's over the,

00:18:28.300 this was over the phone.

00:18:29.180 I was like,

00:18:29.460 this is bad.

00:18:30.940 Like,

00:18:31.340 this isn't good.

00:18:32.340 Were you a good student?

00:18:34.020 Yes.

00:18:34.340 But T is like,

00:18:35.420 not because I love school,

00:18:36.500 but because I like wanted to be accepted.

00:18:38.560 I don't know what I,

00:18:40.940 I don't know who I was.

00:18:42.240 Like if I look back at my past,

00:18:43.620 I'm like,

00:18:43.860 baby,

00:18:44.100 like what are you doing?

00:18:45.100 Like I like took APs because it's like,

00:18:47.660 that was cool.

00:18:48.220 Like,

00:18:48.560 you know,

00:18:48.840 like,

00:18:49.080 and that's,

00:18:50.000 I literally like,

00:18:51.060 if,

00:18:51.460 was that cool?

00:18:52.180 Really?

00:18:52.640 No,

00:18:53.120 but in my school,

00:18:53.880 my specific cohort,

00:18:55.840 no,

00:18:56.400 I was,

00:18:56.760 it was wrong timing because my cohort,

00:18:58.920 literally everyone had like a 4.3.

00:19:00.760 Oh damn.

00:19:01.440 And it wasn't even like the magnet magnet program,

00:19:03.460 but everybody in that specific cohort was like,

00:19:06.020 Oh yeah.

00:19:06.740 Like 4.3.

00:19:09.040 Yeah.

00:19:09.620 And I'm like,

00:19:10.480 so it was like a status thing.

00:19:12.280 Yeah.

00:19:12.380 Like if you didn't have a 4.0,

00:19:13.540 like you were dumb.

00:19:14.460 And I was like,

00:19:14.980 really?

00:19:15.300 Yeah.

00:19:15.480 So my brain was literally trying to wire it simultaneously of like,

00:19:18.480 how do I exist in this?

00:19:19.800 You know?

00:19:20.160 Yeah.

00:19:20.680 And so it was like a huge mental stressor,

00:19:23.600 which is why I'm paying for it now.

00:19:25.760 Thinking about like the ways that I need to exist are like not that.

00:19:30.160 Yeah.

00:19:30.820 Are you an only child?

00:19:31.980 Are you?

00:19:32.760 No,

00:19:33.160 but my sister is six years older than me.

00:19:34.700 So basically like by the time.

00:19:35.780 Is it just you and her?

00:19:36.700 Yeah.

00:19:37.080 Okay.

00:19:37.440 And she was out,

00:19:40.120 she was outside of the house like by.

00:19:41.760 By the time you were in school and stuff?

00:19:43.080 Well,

00:19:43.180 by the time I graduated elementary school,

00:19:44.500 she was in college.

00:19:45.280 Oh,

00:19:45.840 okay.

00:19:46.200 Yeah.

00:19:46.380 Yeah.

00:19:46.540 Yeah.

00:19:46.880 Basically.

00:19:47.380 Yeah.

00:19:47.680 Yeah.

00:19:47.880 And my parents are working parents.

00:19:49.280 Yeah.

00:19:49.620 That's,

00:19:50.060 I was going to say,

00:19:50.760 cause I'm a middle child,

00:19:51.820 but I do have a theory that earth signs are good at school.

00:19:54.460 Like,

00:19:54.980 I think it's like an overachiever thing because we're very overachieving.

00:19:59.600 We'd love to overachieve,

00:20:00.580 but it's more so to like,

00:20:03.160 I don't know if it's like running from something.

00:20:05.040 I think a lot of times,

00:20:05.800 like it's like where we start getting.

00:20:07.720 Yeah.

00:20:08.100 It's like,

00:20:08.460 I think it's like a work thing.

00:20:09.840 Like it's like a workhorse thing because then you don't have to pay

00:20:12.720 attention to other things.

00:20:13.620 If you're just focusing on work and school and the things you can't control

00:20:17.000 because earth sign people have a problem with control.

00:20:19.680 So especially Virgo.

00:20:20.920 So like it's a,

00:20:21.460 it's a real control thing.

00:20:22.760 So that's why I,

00:20:24.120 with me,

00:20:24.460 I'm a middle child too.

00:20:25.560 So that was my thing was overachieving in school and sports and stuff.

00:20:29.140 That was my thing because I felt like I wouldn't be seen otherwise.

00:20:32.200 I have a really quick question for you.

00:20:33.480 Please.

00:20:33.740 What is your like inner voice sound like if you could bring it to the mic

00:20:38.140 and if you could let the inner voice like have like a,

00:20:40.540 what would it sound like?

00:20:41.760 Cause mine is a very like controlling,

00:20:43.840 like dictator almost.

00:20:45.820 Yeah.

00:20:46.320 It's like,

00:20:47.480 okay.

00:20:47.960 Like what are you doing now?

00:20:50.560 Yeah,

00:20:50.940 literally.

00:20:51.520 Are you sure you want to be just doing that?

00:20:53.000 I feel like you could be doing something else.

00:20:54.020 Yeah.

00:20:54.280 Mine's,

00:20:54.680 mine's very anxious,

00:20:57.260 but mine's also like,

00:20:59.300 it's almost like a 90 year old white dude is what I think.

00:21:02.560 Like one that's like,

00:21:03.320 get off my lawn.

00:21:04.640 Like that's how it sounds in my head.

00:21:06.540 And that's me talking to myself.

00:21:08.620 So sometimes I think there's like an old man living inside me.

00:21:12.620 He could be white.

00:21:13.460 I don't know.

00:21:14.060 But like,

00:21:14.720 just the fact that it's like,

00:21:16.560 you know,

00:21:17.000 like it's so,

00:21:18.120 and I also like talk down to myself a lot too.

00:21:20.320 Like as far as like,

00:21:21.380 you feel like you're never doing enough.

00:21:22.880 And I think that's a big earth sign thing too.

00:21:24.460 Like that's what I'm saying.

00:21:25.500 Like the,

00:21:25.920 the overachieving thing is,

00:21:27.560 that's why I asked if you were a good student.

00:21:29.000 Cause I was a really good student too.

00:21:30.920 You were.

00:21:31.360 Yeah.

00:21:31.560 So I was,

00:21:32.660 I was in AP.

00:21:33.840 I know my girl is smart.

00:21:35.980 Period.

00:21:36.860 I graduated summa cum laude from my college.

00:21:39.460 Okay.

00:21:40.280 Okay.

00:21:41.740 Period.

00:21:42.740 You got that brain cell.

00:21:44.240 You know,

00:21:44.660 one time I did an AMA,

00:21:46.240 like a ask me anything thing.

00:21:47.600 And someone was like,

00:21:48.660 what's something people,

00:21:49.560 you wish people asked you more about.

00:21:52.000 And I was like,

00:21:52.400 I wish people asked me what scores I got on my AP test.

00:21:55.300 Wait.

00:21:55.740 Okay.

00:21:55.940 Let's do this now.

00:21:56.760 What are your scores?

00:21:57.580 Let's,

00:21:57.900 let's do this now.

00:21:58.560 I didn't take very many.

00:21:59.060 I took three.

00:21:59.800 How many did you,

00:22:00.380 you probably took a million if you had an over.

00:22:02.240 But I didn't.

00:22:02.680 Okay.

00:22:02.820 But like,

00:22:03.300 I didn't do great.

00:22:05.300 This isn't about me.

00:22:07.340 I'm not talking about this.

00:22:09.500 I'm not here to relive my time.

00:22:10.680 You want me to tell you mine?

00:22:11.520 Absolutely not.

00:22:12.000 Did you take AP test though?

00:22:14.740 Like to get college credits and all that.

00:22:16.580 Yeah.

00:22:16.820 Yeah.

00:22:17.020 But I did.

00:22:18.200 I,

00:22:18.560 what were your scores?

00:22:19.600 My AP composition one,

00:22:20.660 I got a five.

00:22:21.500 So I was like,

00:22:22.240 Oh,

00:22:22.500 I would have hated you.

00:22:23.700 Big slay.

00:22:24.500 I would have.

00:22:25.020 I don't know how I did that,

00:22:26.120 but big slay.

00:22:26.700 Cause you're smart.

00:22:27.780 I know.

00:22:28.260 Oh my God.

00:22:29.000 You're smart.

00:22:29.660 And then like,

00:22:30.620 the one I didn't pass was AP US history,

00:22:32.880 which I was kind of bummed about.

00:22:34.120 That's okay.

00:22:34.540 That's probably the one that like,

00:22:35.820 I feel like you're fine.

00:22:37.100 Yeah.

00:22:37.580 It's like not even really.

00:22:39.000 Who cares?

00:22:40.680 Racism.

00:22:41.140 That's US history.

00:22:41.620 That's what I'm saying.

00:22:42.260 It's like,

00:22:42.500 that's probably why I didn't pass.

00:22:43.440 It's like,

00:22:43.840 she's too woke.

00:22:45.580 Yeah.

00:22:46.820 Yeah.

00:22:47.220 I think like AP gov,

00:22:48.400 I got a four or three and then AP lit.

00:22:51.580 I got a four.

00:22:52.740 So look at me.

00:22:54.160 We got a smarty.

00:22:55.140 Love.

00:22:55.840 Yeah.

00:22:56.160 I think the,

00:22:57.040 uh,

00:22:57.920 the AP test score,

00:22:58.760 my boyfriend was like,

00:22:59.660 you're so embarrassing.

00:23:01.340 Why?

00:23:02.780 Cause I was like,

00:23:03.560 how come no one wants to know about the real me?

00:23:06.180 The smart me.

00:23:07.420 Like you at home,

00:23:08.500 like literally like opening up like a composition three.

00:23:10.640 I roast men on the internet,

00:23:13.760 but I wish people just knew the side of me.

00:23:16.100 If they only knew.

00:23:17.200 Like the lo-fi,

00:23:18.180 like the one that all the students use in college,

00:23:20.360 like the lo-fi beats.

00:23:21.320 You're like,

00:23:21.800 I just wish people saw this side of me.

00:23:24.740 Wait,

00:23:25.160 can we recreate that one day?

00:23:26.240 Like literally like just coming into the room and you're like,

00:23:28.360 sorry,

00:23:29.640 I'm off today.

00:23:30.600 I'm like,

00:23:30.960 Oh my God,

00:23:31.500 careful.

00:23:31.820 My bag's heavy.

00:23:32.380 There's lots of books in there.

00:23:33.960 Lots of school supplies.

00:23:35.260 Okay.

00:23:35.940 That's why I tell people to munch my balls and they think I'm not smart.

00:23:38.700 Come on,

00:23:39.040 girl.

00:23:39.200 Come on.

00:23:40.020 That's what makes it funny.

00:23:41.540 For real.

00:23:42.580 I think the smartest people,

00:23:44.020 I think smart people are funny.

00:23:45.340 You have to be.

00:23:46.240 I mean like,

00:23:46.720 because there's just like,

00:23:48.960 if you have no brain cell,

00:23:50.220 like you're not going to get,

00:23:51.160 there's no humor in that.

00:23:52.080 That's what I'm saying.

00:23:53.200 It's like the lowest,

00:23:54.400 cheapest form of humor.

00:23:55.720 I think that's why I say what's funny is obviously like subjective to the person.

00:24:00.640 Right.

00:24:00.880 But it requires wit to be funny to a lot of people.

00:24:03.500 Absolutely.

00:24:04.060 That's why I said,

00:24:04.500 you're telling me all these people are wrong.

00:24:06.380 Like you and I are funny.

00:24:07.440 Like you get you,

00:24:08.200 I'm sure you get hate comments too.

00:24:09.400 I get them all the fucking time,

00:24:10.380 but I think it's natural,

00:24:11.500 but they are like,

00:24:13.080 this isn't even funny.

00:24:14.520 And I was like,

00:24:15.080 according to you,

00:24:15.740 I literally just scroll.

00:24:16.660 Cause I'm like,

00:24:17.060 I don't need that in my life.

00:24:18.080 That's negativity.

00:24:19.020 And that's lies.

00:24:20.080 And I will not be,

00:24:20.920 I'm not internalizing anything.

00:24:22.740 How does it feel to be such a liar?

00:24:24.340 I'm like,

00:24:24.600 that's the kind of embarrassing.

00:24:25.700 And it's like,

00:24:26.240 no one liked your comment.

00:24:27.440 I'm like,

00:24:28.000 no one's agreeing.

00:24:29.160 Me.

00:24:29.420 I liked it on my own,

00:24:31.140 my own hate comment.

00:24:31.980 You're like,

00:24:32.560 that's right.

00:24:33.080 Looks good.

00:24:33.780 That's that looks great.

00:24:34.760 That's liked by creator.

00:24:38.700 You're saying all these people are wrong.

00:24:40.320 Like you have a huge platform too.

00:24:41.920 I'm like,

00:24:42.120 you're saying all these people are wrong.

00:24:43.640 We're gaslighting all of these people.

00:24:44.760 I know.

00:24:45.120 I'm just like,

00:24:45.740 just the longest gaslight.

00:24:47.600 Y'all are,

00:24:48.160 y'all think this is funny.

00:24:49.940 Like,

00:24:50.340 Oh,

00:24:50.500 sorry.

00:24:50.800 My bad.

00:24:51.300 Yeah.

00:24:51.520 So many people are like,

00:24:52.320 you think this is funny?

00:24:53.460 Blah,

00:24:53.560 blah,

00:24:53.860 blah.

00:24:53.940 Like you think I'm like,

00:24:55.220 wait,

00:24:55.420 can I tell you really quickly about what I literally,

00:24:57.960 my first experience of ingesting your videos.

00:25:00.080 Yes,

00:25:00.400 please.

00:25:00.820 So I do this thing where like,

00:25:02.240 I have like thousands,

00:25:03.860 like not thousands.

00:25:04.500 I'm being so dramatic,

00:25:05.080 but like literally like 10 things on,

00:25:07.280 like at the same time,

00:25:07.880 my TV,

00:25:09.000 the stove vent,

00:25:10.240 like my Nintendo switch,

00:25:12.760 my literally.

00:25:13.920 And I was literally like on my couch showered.

00:25:16.640 Right.

00:25:16.900 And my for you page does not have the men that you stitch.

00:25:20.320 So I think the first time ever,

00:25:22.060 I literally was like,

00:25:22.880 Oh,

00:25:23.720 and then it,

00:25:24.520 but then you were,

00:25:25.200 you were showing up on my feed like every day.

00:25:27.680 And I was like,

00:25:28.180 what are these men?

00:25:29.160 Like,

00:25:29.320 why am I getting greeted with this?

00:25:31.000 Like,

00:25:31.120 I'm really trying to unwind,

00:25:32.460 like have tea.

00:25:33.120 And I'm like,

00:25:33.500 Oh,

00:25:33.940 but then I think it was like the third time.

00:25:36.180 Right.

00:25:36.420 Where I was like,

00:25:37.020 okay,

00:25:37.260 like there's something's up.

00:25:38.100 Like I think the actual video was interesting.

00:25:40.940 Yeah.

00:25:41.560 And then you're,

00:25:42.280 you come up.

00:25:43.060 Yeah.

00:25:43.340 And I literally was like,

00:25:44.400 Oh,

00:25:45.380 yeah.

00:25:45.780 Oh,

00:25:46.000 hello.

00:25:46.900 And then I literally like the Sarah Paulson,

00:25:49.460 like,

00:25:50.460 Jeff,

00:25:50.760 or like when she's in the bed,

00:25:52.500 I literally turned off all my lights,

00:25:55.720 went into bed,

00:25:57.000 had a smile on my face and literally was like,

00:25:59.360 Oh,

00:26:00.200 it's over.

00:26:01.400 It's over.

00:26:02.020 This is healing all of my trauma from men growing up.

00:26:05.480 You know,

00:26:05.980 it's funny.

00:26:06.480 You're not the first person to tell me that.

00:26:08.320 Oh,

00:26:08.420 I know.

00:26:08.880 I've had countless people tell me like this heals my trauma that I've experienced with men.

00:26:13.860 Because it's almost as if like,

00:26:15.320 this is what I wish I could have said.

00:26:16.940 Like if I was healed,

00:26:18.000 if I was like,

00:26:18.680 if I like tapped into my bad bitch energy,

00:26:20.220 like,

00:26:20.500 because I've,

00:26:21.540 I've been around that.

00:26:22.660 We all have been around that in society.

00:26:24.340 We just exist among.

00:26:25.700 Yeah.

00:26:26.800 Trash.

00:26:27.260 Yeah.

00:26:28.400 The literal trash.

00:26:29.440 But like,

00:26:29.920 I was too scared to like pick it up and throw it in the dumpster.

00:26:33.400 Like you're over here.

00:26:34.260 Like,

00:26:34.840 especially like in New York,

00:26:35.940 like,

00:26:36.340 how they have like,

00:26:37.500 not the trash cans that like pull up.

00:26:39.460 Like they literally are like out there,

00:26:40.540 like throwing it in all the way.

00:26:41.860 That's you.

00:26:42.300 You're like,

00:26:42.760 uh-uh,

00:26:43.100 like get in there.

00:26:44.580 You stink.

00:26:45.500 You're going to the incinerator,

00:26:46.820 baby.

00:26:47.980 Incinerated.

00:26:48.500 The dump,

00:26:49.280 babe.

00:26:49.380 The dump.

00:26:50.060 You're straight to the dump.

00:26:51.240 Stinky.

00:26:51.780 Yeah.

00:26:51.960 The way that I talk to,

00:26:54.820 I like the,

00:26:55.320 I tell people like who are critical of my,

00:26:58.260 they're like,

00:26:58.620 like,

00:26:59.400 yeah,

00:26:59.540 I just feel like you could go about it different way.

00:27:01.300 Well,

00:27:01.460 first of all,

00:27:02.460 they don't listen to women.

00:27:03.960 What makes you think they're going to,

00:27:05.480 they're not listening.

00:27:06.120 Ever,

00:27:06.600 babe.

00:27:06.960 That's why I'm,

00:27:07.600 and then when they're like,

00:27:08.420 you just have a bunch of like all these people.

00:27:11.020 Sometimes I get accused of having bots,

00:27:12.520 which is crazy.

00:27:14.100 I would be spending thousands of dollars a month if I was getting bots.

00:27:17.680 The embarrassing thing is that's just a projection of their using bots.

00:27:20.360 Yeah,

00:27:20.620 yeah,

00:27:20.640 yeah.

00:27:21.180 Like,

00:27:21.500 no,

00:27:21.900 not,

00:27:22.460 not even a hundred people want to see you at the gym.

00:27:24.960 Like,

00:27:25.400 not with those like chicken legs either.

00:27:27.100 Like,

00:27:27.400 I'm sorry.

00:27:28.080 Like,

00:27:28.280 that's why I'm like,

00:27:28.880 don't you think that if all these people have shared experiences,

00:27:31.900 the problem might be you?

00:27:33.440 Turns out you're the virus.

00:27:34.560 It's denial.

00:27:35.560 Turns out you're literally rotten to the core and people have all experienced you in some way,

00:27:40.460 shape or form.

00:27:41.300 And that's why they find community in my page because they're like,

00:27:44.920 I've also met a terrible man like this.

00:27:46.980 That's crazy.

00:27:48.060 I live with one or I go to the gym with one.

00:27:50.540 Yeah.

00:27:50.560 Or I literally just like one of my first videos to ever blow me up was a video where I did

00:27:55.200 a very specific red flags in men.

00:27:57.700 And,

00:27:58.200 uh,

00:27:58.740 she's like,

00:27:59.160 what are some that you have?

00:28:00.060 I had like a whole list.

00:28:01.240 So some of them were pretty obvious.

00:28:02.700 Like one of them,

00:28:03.480 I said,

00:28:03.800 like if Wolf of Wall Street is his favorite movie of all time,

00:28:07.180 run bitch.

00:28:08.520 Like sprint run.

00:28:09.480 If he idolizes Jordan Belfort,

00:28:11.440 pack the bag,

00:28:12.260 climb out a window in the middle of the night.

00:28:13.600 Like just get out of there immediately.

00:28:15.320 On the fire escape.

00:28:15.960 Yeah.

00:28:16.200 No,

00:28:16.500 truly run out,

00:28:17.900 run into the forest and never come back.

00:28:19.780 The other one I,

00:28:20.780 another one I said though,

00:28:21.560 was like if he's obsessed with Tom Brady,

00:28:24.460 but I said not like a Pats or a Bucks fan,

00:28:27.420 like just as a person Brady.

00:28:29.160 Yeah.

00:28:29.440 Like,

00:28:29.720 like read the memoir.

00:28:31.200 Jerks it to pictures of him.

00:28:33.020 Run bitch.

00:28:34.100 Like he has problems,

00:28:35.560 problems.

00:28:36.380 And so,

00:28:37.300 so thousands of women were like,

00:28:38.900 the Tom Brady thing is so specific.

00:28:41.340 Like my boyfriend,

00:28:42.700 my ex-boyfriend was horrible and he loved him.

00:28:45.160 I don't want to tell you it's science for what?

00:28:47.680 At what point it's like a,

00:28:50.060 what's the thing?

00:28:50.840 The thing with famous.

00:28:51.500 Okay.

00:28:51.940 Here's my tea with famous athletes and men like that.

00:28:54.420 Like toxic masculinity.

00:28:55.820 Yeah.

00:28:56.280 Right.

00:28:56.620 Trauma,

00:28:57.240 trauma.

00:28:57.820 And yeah,

00:28:58.280 the way that they idolize them,

00:29:01.080 it treads a line.

00:29:02.380 They literally can't tell if they want to be him or if they want to be on him.

00:29:06.440 They literally cannot tell.

00:29:07.980 They like are like,

00:29:08.700 I want his life,

00:29:09.620 but also I kind of want him.

00:29:12.180 Maybe he was looking kind of good.

00:29:13.620 It's,

00:29:14.000 it's like,

00:29:14.400 it's just the most intense form of toxic masculinity.

00:29:17.400 Like,

00:29:17.580 you know what I'm saying?

00:29:18.280 Like,

00:29:18.720 I'm having this crazy visual of all these men collectively,

00:29:21.080 like on his Instagram and like late at night,

00:29:23.160 like,

00:29:23.360 you know,

00:29:23.520 like when you just zoom in private,

00:29:24.880 you're like zooming on these pictures in private.

00:29:27.640 They're literally like,

00:29:28.660 God,

00:29:29.940 like,

00:29:30.260 like that Tik TOK audio when they're like,

00:29:31.980 when my girl sees I message LeBron James,

00:29:34.320 good luck or whatever.

00:29:35.680 And he's like,

00:29:36.100 it's not that funny.

00:29:37.300 Like just the obsession is weird.

00:29:40.140 Like,

00:29:40.660 no,

00:29:40.900 if you like watching football,

00:29:42.760 if you enjoy it,

00:29:43.720 if you're just a big fan of a team,

00:29:45.760 that's not a big deal.

00:29:46.600 Right.

00:29:46.940 When you make it your whole personality,

00:29:49.120 like you destroy things.

00:29:50.340 If you lose,

00:29:51.000 you have problems.

00:29:51.840 Oh,

00:29:52.020 when you start hitting the drywall.

00:29:53.740 Oh,

00:29:54.080 baby.

00:29:54.180 Oh baby.

00:29:54.680 If you literally like tell people like,

00:29:56.400 don't talk to me during football season,

00:29:57.840 what's the matter with you?

00:29:59.480 And if you become unapproachable or like,

00:30:01.300 just like if you don't become human during football season,

00:30:03.680 like goodbye.

00:30:04.520 Or you make other people uncomfortable because you're so angry.

00:30:08.320 What's wrong with you?

00:30:09.920 Get a job.

00:30:10.840 You know what I mean?

00:30:11.420 Get a life.

00:30:12.240 Literally go to therapy immediately.

00:30:14.480 Check yourself into a facility,

00:30:15.820 babe.

00:30:16.140 No,

00:30:16.180 immediately.

00:30:17.160 That's why I told a story about a famous athlete that hit me up once when I was in college,

00:30:21.120 long time ago.

00:30:21.800 I told it.

00:30:22.620 I told that story on Tik TOK before I blew up.

00:30:24.740 Right.

00:30:25.280 Oh man.

00:30:26.040 The amount of men,

00:30:26.680 the amount of men that got so mad at that video,

00:30:29.980 stampeding into your,

00:30:30.580 yeah,

00:30:30.720 they're like,

00:30:31.140 he would never be with a girl like you,

00:30:33.260 babe.

00:30:33.460 What do you know about that?

00:30:34.360 Oh,

00:30:34.820 you're like,

00:30:35.820 Oh,

00:30:36.240 and what do you know about that?

00:30:37.520 Then he was like,

00:30:38.820 you fumbled the bag of the century or whatever.

00:30:41.880 I'm all,

00:30:42.220 why don't you hit him up then?

00:30:43.340 Right.

00:30:43.500 Are you,

00:30:44.160 his,

00:30:44.400 you want his number?

00:30:45.120 Go through,

00:30:46.340 pull through,

00:30:47.020 pull up,

00:30:48.480 pull up,

00:30:48.920 pull up.

00:30:49.200 Pull up then.

00:30:49.580 See if he,

00:30:49.780 see if he answers.

00:30:50.540 Who knows?

00:30:51.060 He might.

00:30:51.540 Roll the dice.

00:30:52.360 Let's see.

00:30:53.220 It's just so strange.

00:30:54.440 They're just,

00:30:54.700 yeah,

00:30:54.960 that's what it is.

00:30:55.460 It's an obsession and it's unhealthy.

00:30:56.940 Yeah.

00:30:57.240 It's,

00:30:57.680 it's mental,

00:30:58.600 babe.

00:30:58.900 Thank you.

00:30:59.260 But thank you for paying the bags through.

00:31:01.540 They,

00:31:01.720 they'd be pulling the bags.

00:31:02.460 They're literally pulling the bags in for you.

00:31:04.240 It's like,

00:31:04.660 hello.

00:31:05.320 They're running up the engagement.

00:31:06.560 Thank you,

00:31:07.120 babe.

00:31:07.480 Thank you.

00:31:08.280 I had like a hate train start recently.

00:31:12.200 Oh,

00:31:12.540 wildfire.

00:31:13.640 All the worst men in the world were like,

00:31:15.460 it's like they had just found me that day all at the same time.

00:31:19.180 So they're like,

00:31:19.940 I'm going to make a video about this girl.

00:31:21.700 The way,

00:31:22.440 like someone asked me if I was doing okay once when I was,

00:31:24.680 they're like,

00:31:25.100 I seen a lot of hate stuff.

00:31:26.220 I'm like,

00:31:26.740 yeah,

00:31:26.880 I'm good.

00:31:27.600 Don't tell them,

00:31:28.320 but my engagement's been through the roof.

00:31:30.140 I've been thriving low key.

00:31:31.760 Don't let them know,

00:31:32.320 but I've been thriving.

00:31:33.280 Don't tell them,

00:31:33.840 but my views are up.

00:31:35.360 My skin is glowing.

00:31:36.780 My bank account is don't worry about her.

00:31:38.940 There you go.

00:31:39.980 That's tea.

00:31:40.540 And that's because we're being our authentic selves.

00:31:43.220 There you go.

00:31:43.980 And that's,

00:31:44.940 I'm going to get into our videos for today.

00:31:47.140 So what we do here on the comment section show is I show videos that I was tagged in that are applicable to our topic.

00:31:52.360 And then we talk about them.

00:31:53.500 We kiki,

00:31:53.960 we laugh,

00:31:54.360 we joke,

00:31:55.040 we have fun,

00:31:55.960 silly,

00:31:56.300 goofy time as per usual.

00:31:58.000 So this first video is a woman who's narrating over clips from her.

00:32:02.300 And she's basically talking about how you have no control over the way other people view you.

00:32:08.220 Their perception of you is based on their own upbringing experience and biases.

00:32:12.100 Biases,

00:32:13.200 your upbeat energy that one person might find annoying,

00:32:15.620 another will find endearing.

00:32:17.020 Since you can't control how other people see you,

00:32:18.980 all you can do is live life as your authentic self.

00:32:21.660 Which is very sweet and very true.

00:32:24.480 That hits home because it's like,

00:32:26.260 if you really like step out of your own brain for three seconds,

00:32:29.520 that's really the truth.

00:32:30.520 It's like you're going to get,

00:32:31.800 especially someone who is really vocal like yourself and is just really firm in what they believe in.

00:32:37.640 Like you're going to get polarizing perceptions of you,

00:32:42.880 right?

00:32:43.680 You kind of just have to take it as like,

00:32:45.260 well,

00:32:45.920 I believe in what I'm saying.

00:32:47.300 I believe that this is my truth.

00:32:48.900 This is the people that I want to stand up for.

00:32:50.660 So why would I have any ounce of regret?

00:32:53.700 And I'm learning how to have that too,

00:32:55.640 because one,

00:32:57.340 it's endearing and it's powerful,

00:32:59.360 but also it's authentic.

00:33:01.300 And it is at your most being vulnerable because you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

00:33:06.500 You're not afraid to stand up for these people.

00:33:08.280 Or be your truest self.

00:33:09.260 Or be your truest self.

00:33:10.400 And just telling yourself in the mirror,

00:33:12.420 like,

00:33:12.540 oh,

00:33:12.640 this is who I am.

00:33:13.460 Like,

00:33:13.580 this is who I want to be.

00:33:14.880 Like,

00:33:15.020 this is what I like.

00:33:16.240 Yeah,

00:33:16.560 exactly.

00:33:17.320 Right?

00:33:17.480 Yeah,

00:33:17.920 I think there's like a power in that.

00:33:20.640 Cause sometimes people ask me like,

00:33:22.960 how do you not let hate like that get to you?

00:33:24.920 Cause like the hate I get is like next level.

00:33:27.720 It's a whole choo-choo train.

00:33:29.000 Yeah,

00:33:29.080 it's bad,

00:33:29.940 but it was really bad.

00:33:31.100 Some,

00:33:31.480 um,

00:33:32.000 I know it's bad,

00:33:33.140 especially I know some other creator friends of mine have noticed recently because I had quite a few men make videos,

00:33:38.340 um,

00:33:39.360 defending me,

00:33:40.160 which is new.

00:33:41.840 It's rare,

00:33:42.760 but some of them are my mutual.

00:33:44.160 Some of them weren't,

00:33:44.780 but I had quite a few.

00:33:45.700 And I think it's because they were seeing for the first time the side that I always see,

00:33:51.220 which is like the hate and how terrible people can be.

00:33:53.860 Um,

00:33:54.220 when you have a platform like mine,

00:33:55.780 like when you say the things that I say and stand up for the people that I do.

00:33:59.200 Um,

00:33:59.620 but I always tell people like,

00:34:00.840 I don't value the opinions of people that don't mean anything to me.

00:34:04.480 Right.

00:34:04.780 So like,

00:34:05.380 if you already have these bigoted beliefs in your brain,

00:34:08.980 what do I care if you think I'm a fat,

00:34:10.540 ugly bitch?

00:34:10.920 I don't.

00:34:11.820 Babe,

00:34:12.260 I don't like immediately.

00:34:13.580 I don't.

00:34:14.320 But I also think there's like a power in knowing,

00:34:18.040 like I've,

00:34:18.540 I've said this before,

00:34:19.280 before I had my boyfriend,

00:34:21.320 before I met him,

00:34:22.100 anything like that.

00:34:22.860 Like I loved myself so much that I knew I deserved the best.

00:34:27.980 So that's how I held out for it.

00:34:29.440 And I found it.

00:34:30.140 Right.

00:34:30.580 So like,

00:34:31.220 yeah,

00:34:31.440 like no one's ever going to love you.

00:34:32.540 Like you love you.

00:34:33.420 So if you love yourself unconditionally,

00:34:35.040 there's no way that you're ever going to let other people influence how you feel about yourself.

00:34:39.800 So like if people think you're too loud or too aggressive or too much or like whatever it is,

00:34:46.020 they may say nine times out of 10,

00:34:47.700 that's a projection.

00:34:48.760 Right.

00:34:49.220 Um,

00:34:49.620 obviously you want to be self-aware and understand that you're not being a mean person,

00:34:53.140 bad person.

00:34:53.640 But if it's like something harmless,

00:34:55.780 like you're,

00:34:56.540 you're always upbeat or energetic or loud or you laugh loud like me.

00:35:00.820 And which is the best laugh on this planet.

00:35:02.900 Like when I,

00:35:04.020 can we just talk about it?

00:35:05.420 The way that so many people are like the laugh,

00:35:08.700 do the laugh,

00:35:09.320 the laugh.

00:35:09.900 It's the laugh.

00:35:10.740 Do it.

00:35:11.140 With,

00:35:11.400 with the TM,

00:35:12.160 like trademark,

00:35:12.800 like the laugh.

00:35:13.920 The laugh TM.

00:35:15.060 It's literally the laugh.

00:35:16.340 I have to tell you,

00:35:16.860 like it's the best.

00:35:17.640 It heals parts of my soul and my inner child.

00:35:19.720 Like it really is.

00:35:20.860 It's like some,

00:35:21.540 it's just one of those things that you have.

00:35:23.180 And if you love yourself more than anyone in the world could ever,

00:35:26.580 right.

00:35:26.840 Then like you won't crumble when people say things like that to you or like,

00:35:31.780 don't want to be associated with you for whatever reason,

00:35:34.120 especially if it's a projection that's on them.

00:35:36.000 Period.

00:35:36.480 They're healing inside.

00:35:38.060 Let them do it.

00:35:38.980 But you don't need to be there for it.

00:35:40.700 You know,

00:35:40.960 I always think that too.

00:35:41.840 Like you don't need to be there while they figure it out.

00:35:43.680 Right.

00:35:44.020 You know what I mean?

00:35:44.540 Like sometimes people are going through stuff.

00:35:45.900 That's fine,

00:35:46.400 but you don't need to be subjected to.

00:35:48.600 Right.

00:35:49.080 They're like neglect or like abuse of you,

00:35:52.180 whatever it may be.

00:35:52.860 That includes men when you're dating them.

00:35:55.020 I also think it's just really important to have like a really loving,

00:35:59.080 great example of a support system.

00:36:02.340 Yeah,

00:36:02.540 absolutely.

00:36:03.040 Cause it's like doing this alone.

00:36:04.500 It's hard,

00:36:05.020 you know,

00:36:05.240 like being alone in any space,

00:36:07.620 but especially this space is really dangerous.

00:36:10.820 And I feel like dangerous to a hazard is because there's,

00:36:13.440 you're subjected to so many self inflicting thoughts though.

00:36:16.940 Like you're constantly berating yourself,

00:36:18.860 comparing yourself.

00:36:20.080 And so it's like,

00:36:20.800 when you have people who know you to your root.

00:36:24.140 Yeah.

00:36:24.800 You're like,

00:36:25.260 wait,

00:36:25.760 I'm tripping.

00:36:26.640 Yeah.

00:36:27.060 I'm tripping.

00:36:27.920 Yeah.

00:36:28.140 And those are the people you seek when you're feeling vulnerable.

00:36:31.220 Right.

00:36:31.360 And that's,

00:36:31.760 and that's bound to happen.

00:36:33.180 I always tell people like everybody has insecurities and everybody feels bad

00:36:36.460 about themselves at one point or another.

00:36:37.840 Cause we're all human.

00:36:38.840 Right.

00:36:39.160 But as long as you have people that you love that like know you and love you

00:36:42.940 and trust you.

00:36:44.040 Right.

00:36:44.460 Like they're always going to be there to like bring you back.

00:36:46.300 So that's why you don't want anyone in that circle that thinks you're too

00:36:48.560 much.

00:36:48.820 Oh,

00:36:48.960 absolutely not.

00:36:49.560 You have to check who you're with.

00:36:50.880 Yeah.

00:36:51.080 You are who you hang out with too.

00:36:52.460 Yeah,

00:36:52.780 exactly.

00:36:53.700 That's,

00:36:53.820 that's the,

00:36:54.380 that's it.

00:36:54.720 I think,

00:36:54.900 I think that all the time too.

00:36:56.260 So some of the comments on this,

00:36:57.820 I think are all like pretty sweet,

00:36:59.740 honestly,

00:37:00.100 but this one says living unapologetically and being my authentic self can be

00:37:04.700 exhausting in a society.

00:37:06.400 So unauthentic.

00:37:07.720 So thank you for this.

00:37:08.560 I needed to hear it.

00:37:09.340 I feel that.

00:37:10.100 I think it's a big,

00:37:11.300 I think social media probably has a huge weight,

00:37:14.140 like a bearing on that because everybody's always trying to be like other

00:37:17.860 people.

00:37:18.500 Right.

00:37:19.060 But,

00:37:19.380 um,

00:37:19.600 that's why like,

00:37:20.160 since we do it for a living,

00:37:21.520 we're like even more subjected to it.

00:37:24.100 Like,

00:37:24.180 okay.

00:37:24.680 Yeah,

00:37:25.060 I get it.

00:37:25.700 Like this is hard.

00:37:26.780 Like it's exhausting and every,

00:37:29.480 every factor.

00:37:30.780 Yeah.

00:37:31.220 And I,

00:37:31.500 and I,

00:37:32.000 uh,

00:37:32.640 once I was like talking about this job and,

00:37:35.740 uh,

00:37:35.960 sometimes people are like,

00:37:36.980 Oh,

00:37:37.200 it must be,

00:37:37.960 it must be nice.

00:37:38.560 I wish that was my job.

00:37:39.400 First of all,

00:37:40.500 I,

00:37:40.980 I bet you feel this too.

00:37:42.540 I'm so glad that I had a normal,

00:37:45.040 normal ass life before I did this.

00:37:47.320 Like I had the most normal job,

00:37:49.660 the most normal life.

00:37:50.680 Like it was very,

00:37:51.800 very normal,

00:37:53.500 like regular,

00:37:54.400 you know what I mean?

00:37:54.940 Like,

00:37:55.220 cause you're 25.

00:37:56.980 No,

00:37:57.400 I'm 26.

00:37:58.220 26.

00:37:59.340 Yeah.

00:37:59.700 Like we,

00:38:00.960 cause I'm 25 turning 26.

00:38:02.520 Okay.

00:38:02.860 And so like to,

00:38:04.820 to your experience,

00:38:05.760 like I feel like we got a lot of our,

00:38:08.240 our prefrontal cortex basically got to develop.

00:38:11.660 Yeah.

00:38:12.000 Out of the spotlight.

00:38:13.200 Right.

00:38:13.480 And so like,

00:38:15.220 I see some of my peers who are younger.

00:38:17.320 Right.

00:38:17.720 And I see myself.

00:38:19.520 If I was that age,

00:38:20.300 I'd be like,

00:38:20.660 I don't know who or how I would have done that.

00:38:24.080 I would be like contorted.

00:38:26.380 Yeah.

00:38:26.720 Literally.

00:38:27.120 Like I would feel like a stomach,

00:38:29.160 like a pit in my stomach.

00:38:30.080 I would feel a stomach.

00:38:32.360 Not this.

00:38:34.700 No,

00:38:35.080 I feel you.

00:38:35.860 It's the same thing for me too,

00:38:37.740 in my head.

00:38:38.320 Like I think to,

00:38:39.420 I'm so glad that I didn't get this when I was like 17.

00:38:43.680 Oh my God.

00:38:44.040 I wouldn't know how to act.

00:38:44.920 No way.

00:38:45.480 And I was insane when I was younger.

00:38:47.180 I'm not even going to lie to you.

00:38:48.420 My anger was unparalleled when I was younger.

00:38:50.760 Believe it or not.

00:38:51.440 Like I used to be way worse.

00:38:53.300 Like,

00:38:53.860 yeah,

00:38:54.440 I used to like,

00:38:55.480 I literally,

00:38:56.280 are you going to expose your angry self?

00:38:58.980 No,

00:38:59.240 I just used to be insane.

00:39:00.540 Like I,

00:39:01.200 like if men were disrespectful,

00:39:02.500 that's,

00:39:03.080 that's tracked.

00:39:03.740 I've done that my whole life,

00:39:04.700 but I used to be a lot more conversational.

00:39:07.880 No,

00:39:08.300 literally like I would stand,

00:39:09.720 like I would like take my shoes off and be like,

00:39:11.700 let's fight right now.

00:39:12.660 You and me in the street,

00:39:14.060 like two grown men come over here and fight.

00:39:16.400 Yeah.

00:39:16.820 I was a lot crazier when I was younger.

00:39:18.780 I've gotten older.

00:39:20.220 I've wised up.

00:39:22.000 Your prefrontal cortex has developed out of the spotlight.

00:39:25.540 Thank God.

00:39:26.840 That's like,

00:39:27.440 it used to be a lot worse.

00:39:28.520 Now I've learned how to laugh at it before.

00:39:30.120 It was just pure rage.

00:39:30.980 I had nothing but rage for it,

00:39:32.680 which is not good or healthy.

00:39:35.580 The cortisol levels were not good.

00:39:37.180 Yeah.

00:39:37.500 Yeah.

00:39:37.740 It was not good or healthy for me.

00:39:39.140 And also I had no fear,

00:39:40.640 which is a bad thing.

00:39:41.980 Like,

00:39:42.300 cause you just never know.

00:39:43.320 Like people are insane.

00:39:44.020 You have fear.

00:39:44.960 I had no fear.

00:39:46.200 Oh,

00:39:46.680 I'm saying you have fear now.

00:39:48.800 No,

00:39:49.200 I'm just much more aware.

00:39:50.480 Right.

00:39:50.760 You know what I mean?

00:39:51.280 Like,

00:39:51.540 cause people are insane.

00:39:52.460 So like,

00:39:53.140 you don't know what they're going to do when you're in person physically with each other.

00:39:57.160 Like the way that I would handle like altercations when I was younger is a lot different than how I would handle it now.

00:40:05.020 Right.

00:40:05.320 Uh,

00:40:05.760 because I grew up and I matured.

00:40:08.320 Thank God.

00:40:09.200 Yeah.

00:40:09.620 Thank God for you.

00:40:10.580 Thank God.

00:40:10.960 For all these terrible men.

00:40:11.780 Thank God.

00:40:12.220 Thank God for you.

00:40:13.180 Feel lucky.

00:40:13.960 I used to say that.

00:40:14.660 I'm like,

00:40:15.000 thank,

00:40:15.420 thank your lucky stars.

00:40:16.440 There's community guidelines.

00:40:17.600 Oh my God.

00:40:18.980 If it were up to me,

00:40:19.860 it'd be a lot worse.

00:40:20.580 Yeah.

00:40:22.080 Uh,

00:40:22.600 but yeah,

00:40:23.500 I think,

00:40:24.080 I,

00:40:24.340 I think my,

00:40:25.180 I think my lucky stars all the time.

00:40:26.900 Speaking of that,

00:40:27.820 I had normal jobs,

00:40:29.860 especially cars.

00:40:31.220 I was,

00:40:31.900 I rented cars.

00:40:32.800 I was a nutrition consultant for dogs.

00:40:36.280 Don't ask.

00:40:37.160 Is that for real?

00:40:38.260 For real.

00:40:39.440 Um,

00:40:40.100 I baked focaccia bread.

00:40:42.360 No way.

00:40:43.360 Yeah.

00:40:44.780 I,

00:40:45.280 my first job was at Jamba Juice.

00:40:46.980 Oh,

00:40:47.220 how was that job?

00:40:49.060 It was low key fun.

00:40:50.300 Really?

00:40:50.820 You just made smoothies all day.

00:40:52.280 Like,

00:40:52.480 you know what I'm saying?

00:40:53.160 Yeah.

00:40:53.340 That was probably my favorite job outside of this one.

00:40:55.340 Really?

00:40:56.000 Mm-hmm.

00:40:56.340 Because.

00:40:56.740 I'm trying to think what mine was.

00:40:57.820 Yeah.

00:40:57.980 What were you,

00:40:58.360 what were you doing?

00:40:59.340 I,

00:40:59.600 I,

00:41:00.140 well,

00:41:00.340 before this I was working at a sports conglomerate by the name of the national

00:41:05.300 football league.

00:41:06.340 That's what I was doing before this.

00:41:08.100 And then they fired me.

00:41:10.040 Um,

00:41:10.700 but,

00:41:11.140 uh,

00:41:11.500 thank your lucky stars.

00:41:12.640 I'm so glad.

00:41:13.800 Thanking.

00:41:14.300 Let me,

00:41:14.720 let me tell you something that I was dying at that job.

00:41:17.060 Oh my God.

00:41:17.420 I was being suffocated.

00:41:18.260 I was literally dying.

00:41:19.900 So such a terrible,

00:41:21.400 slow,

00:41:21.960 painful death at that job.

00:41:23.340 Um,

00:41:23.860 the irony is one of the reasons why they fired me allegedly is they said that I couldn't

00:41:29.440 build a following.

00:41:31.180 T.

00:41:31.940 That's low key.

00:41:33.340 Like y'all should be embarrassed.

00:41:34.700 Turns out.

00:41:36.060 Embarrassed.

00:41:37.920 Embarrassing.

00:41:38.420 Turns out.

00:41:39.320 I'm actually pretty good at it.

00:41:40.760 So.

00:41:41.160 And I don't need y'all actually.

00:41:43.360 Um,

00:41:43.840 but before that I did,

00:41:45.360 um,

00:41:46.080 I did public relations for a construction company.

00:41:49.700 So like it was my literal job to go door to door and tell people,

00:41:54.600 Hey,

00:41:55.040 there's going to be construction on your street.

00:41:56.460 So your commute is going to go from 45 minutes to two hours.

00:41:58.860 Oh,

00:41:59.020 the deliver.

00:41:59.620 I hope that's cool with you.

00:42:00.720 Like that was my,

00:42:01.560 my job was to go give them bad news.

00:42:04.060 And then I would get berated on the front porch of people's like homes.

00:42:08.700 Literally they would,

00:42:09.400 they would scream and yell at me like that.

00:42:11.440 That was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had.

00:42:12.940 Like they would yell at me.

00:42:14.140 Like I was the one making the calls of about the freeway construction.

00:42:17.980 At some point I literally was like,

00:42:19.780 clearly I'm making the calls because I'm wearing a too tight blue polo and I'm

00:42:23.940 standing in front of you at 2 PM on a Wednesday,

00:42:26.480 bitch.

00:42:26.880 Clearly it's up to me whether or not this construction goes for it.

00:42:30.160 Girl,

00:42:30.300 what do you think?

00:42:30.860 Let me just go call someone really quick and tell them,

00:42:32.900 no,

00:42:33.340 we're actually not going to build that building today because I'm going to

00:42:36.000 get yelled at because this person said it's bad.

00:42:38.140 Yeah.

00:42:38.420 So no,

00:42:39.260 you're right.

00:42:39.860 That was my jobs.

00:42:40.920 That's sorry.

00:42:41.740 That job was really hard,

00:42:43.140 but I loved who I worked with.

00:42:44.700 So that was great.

00:42:46.140 Um,

00:42:46.500 I was a server for a while.

00:42:48.360 God bless you.

00:42:49.260 Right.

00:42:49.720 I,

00:42:50.380 what else did I do?

00:42:52.360 I'm like forgetting.

00:42:53.120 I like worked in sports.

00:42:54.500 Basically I was a sports journalist for a while.

00:42:56.460 Like I did a lot of sports things,

00:42:58.000 but I think my favorite job I ever had was probably the construction job.

00:43:02.740 Or this one.

00:43:03.240 Why?

00:43:04.160 Cause,

00:43:04.600 cause I just loved my team.

00:43:05.800 I had such a,

00:43:06.320 but not the actual job.

00:43:07.520 No,

00:43:07.640 the job itself was so hard and terrible.

00:43:09.880 Like art so hard and terrible,

00:43:12.500 but it was out to everybody that is doing that.

00:43:14.400 Like,

00:43:14.800 yeah,

00:43:15.140 that's,

00:43:15.740 that's why I'm just so glad we had regular jobs because we know what it's

00:43:19.120 like to work nine to five to work service,

00:43:21.180 to do all those things.

00:43:22.400 And then now we have this.

00:43:23.440 So like,

00:43:23.880 we have a really great understanding of like how hard it is to work.

00:43:27.680 I know.

00:43:28.040 Trust me.

00:43:28.360 We know.

00:43:28.780 Trust me.

00:43:29.100 We know.

00:43:29.340 We know.

00:43:29.900 I'm grounded.

00:43:30.740 I know.

00:43:31.080 I know many people are like,

00:43:32.600 they don't get how hard it is.

00:43:33.660 They don't understand.

00:43:34.500 We do.

00:43:34.900 I promise we do.

00:43:36.260 This job is hard,

00:43:37.480 but not for the same reasons.

00:43:38.700 It's nothing like any other job.

00:43:40.380 It's if anything,

00:43:41.440 way more taxing,

00:43:42.480 like mentally,

00:43:43.640 mentally taxing.

00:43:44.600 But I'm not,

00:43:45.420 I don't take for granted that like,

00:43:46.600 of course we have the reins to how we want to operate.

00:43:50.080 And like,

00:43:50.520 of course we get to work on our time,

00:43:52.400 which is great.

00:43:52.840 But yeah,

00:43:53.900 it is definitely,

00:43:54.760 it can be hard.

00:43:55.260 It can be hard.

00:43:55.860 And I,

00:43:56.420 one time I talked about it and I remember Teffy,

00:43:58.880 she described,

00:43:59.600 she was talking about it with me and she was describing it as like,

00:44:02.860 it's a job where it's a one way mirror.

00:44:05.300 So you don't see anyone,

00:44:07.360 but everybody sees you.

00:44:08.460 And it's,

00:44:09.160 it just,

00:44:09.540 it's a different kind of pressure that you experience.

00:44:11.120 So it's definitely something that when you're in it,

00:44:13.320 you're like,

00:44:14.280 yeah,

00:44:14.580 I get it.

00:44:15.100 Yeah.

00:44:15.520 I get why some people like literally go insane after doing this for a while.

00:44:19.180 Cause you're looking at yourself,

00:44:20.240 but then there's like all of these comments and all millions of people.

00:44:24.260 Yeah.

00:44:24.320 And judging every single thing you do.

00:44:25.960 So we get it.

00:44:27.420 We get it.

00:44:27.820 Trust me.

00:44:28.380 We get it.

00:44:28.840 But that's why,

00:44:29.520 that's why it's important to stay authentic and true to yourself and be

00:44:32.400 vulnerable.

00:44:32.940 Yeah.

00:44:33.240 Because otherwise like you'll again,

00:44:35.080 get lost in the sauce.

00:44:36.240 Right.

00:44:36.400 Um,

00:44:36.640 this one says I absolutely needed this and we're not perfect.

00:44:39.660 So it's inevitable that we hurt others and others hurt us.

00:44:42.160 What matters is how you proceed and grow.

00:44:44.740 And that's true.

00:44:46.080 And this one says so very true.

00:44:47.220 What people think of you is none of your business.

00:44:48.940 Leave your best life.

00:44:49.500 I say that all the time.

00:44:51.640 That's none.

00:44:52.100 Yeah.

00:44:52.600 That's none of your business.

00:44:53.220 What they think about me is none of my business.

00:44:55.460 I don't need to hear it.

00:44:56.480 Yeah.

00:44:56.600 Because it's like,

00:44:57.220 I'm giving myself to the people that I know that I love.

00:45:00.000 And outside of that,

00:45:02.380 we're no,

00:45:02.980 I'm good.

00:45:03.680 I don't need any more comments.

00:45:04.840 Thank you.

00:45:05.320 Truly.

00:45:05.640 Okay.

00:45:06.680 So we'll go on to this next video.

00:45:08.560 So this next one is,

00:45:10.020 uh,

00:45:10.400 basically it's a woman who's listing things you can start doing today to become your most authentic self.

00:45:15.660 She suggests taking out a piece of paper and writing down the things you loved as a kid to connect with your inner child.

00:45:21.500 Then circling the three that you still connect with the most and incorporating them back into your life.

00:45:25.820 That's so sweet.

00:45:27.180 That's really wholesome.

00:45:28.140 I love that.

00:45:28.760 That's really,

00:45:29.280 I know the videos are so wholesome today.

00:45:31.420 What,

00:45:31.880 what was the one thing I would say like as you,

00:45:34.540 as your most inner child enjoyed the most doing,

00:45:37.040 like what,

00:45:37.400 what did you love?

00:45:39.680 Hmm.

00:45:40.820 This is so cornball and everyone's gonna be like so choogy.

00:45:44.420 I don't care.

00:45:45.660 I think,

00:45:46.200 I think that's why I love going to Disneyland so much.

00:45:48.460 Okay.

00:45:48.760 It's a real big thing for me when I was a kid.

00:45:50.720 I love Disney.

00:45:51.600 I had an annual pass like all of my childhood.

00:45:53.920 Me too.

00:45:54.400 Yeah.

00:45:54.640 Same.

00:45:55.060 We probably were there at the same time.

00:45:56.500 Yeah.

00:45:56.720 All the time.

00:45:57.280 All the time.

00:45:57.860 Well,

00:45:58.080 duh,

00:45:58.280 with our mom,

00:45:58.900 our mom,

00:45:59.400 our mom got it for us.

00:46:00.240 Our mom would take us.

00:46:01.540 Thanks mom.

00:46:02.040 Thanks mom.

00:46:03.340 Yeah.

00:46:03.700 I think that that's probably why I love Disney so much still to this day.

00:46:07.640 And I'm a proud Disney adult.

00:46:09.660 And I don't care.

00:46:09.980 I have a very scary,

00:46:11.260 I'm going to be vulnerable against you guys,

00:46:12.760 everyone on the internet.

00:46:16.120 I get ads like,

00:46:17.540 I'm only saying this because I hope you'd understand.

00:46:19.740 Yeah.

00:46:20.360 Oh,

00:46:20.740 like my stomach is literally boiling.

00:46:23.060 Literally.

00:46:23.640 Like I used to get like chills listening to like the phantasmic,

00:46:27.340 you know,

00:46:28.580 the fireworks.

00:46:29.380 I love that.

00:46:30.100 The whole show.

00:46:31.180 Yeah.

00:46:31.940 I would listen to it like on my free time.

00:46:35.020 Just the score.

00:46:36.300 Like if somebody were to be like,

00:46:37.500 excuse me,

00:46:37.960 what are you listening to?

00:46:38.820 It was going to be like the phantasmic fireworks music from Disneyland.

00:46:44.240 Oh my God.

00:46:45.040 Phantasmic.

00:46:46.220 So she's great.

00:46:47.740 I love listening to Disney like on Spotify because they're great.

00:46:52.500 I'm people are haters.

00:46:54.180 Mood booster.

00:46:54.880 I always think if it's not hurting anyone,

00:46:56.920 who cares?

00:46:57.420 Inner child healing.

00:46:58.360 If they love it and it,

00:46:59.920 and it heals them and it brings them joy.

00:47:02.140 Who cares?

00:47:02.800 Yeah.

00:47:02.980 Right.

00:47:03.260 Who cares?

00:47:03.620 I don't care.

00:47:04.320 I don't care.

00:47:04.540 You get to like what you like as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else.

00:47:06.920 I went to Walt Disney world for the first time.

00:47:08.680 I took a picture with every Remy the rat I saw literally as you should.

00:47:12.360 I was going to put it in my dump,

00:47:13.380 but there was too many.

00:47:14.040 So I took one with every single Remy I saw because that's one of my favorite

00:47:17.940 ones is Ratatouille.

00:47:19.400 What did you think?

00:47:20.200 Walt Disney versus Disneyland.

00:47:21.500 I honestly like,

00:47:22.920 I honestly like Disneyland better because like,

00:47:25.380 it's kind of like home,

00:47:26.380 right?

00:47:26.580 Like,

00:47:26.780 you know where everything is.

00:47:27.660 Yeah.

00:47:28.020 I feel that.

00:47:29.000 Well,

00:47:29.140 it's just like I was saying,

00:47:30.420 I was telling everyone earlier,

00:47:31.460 like Walt Disney world,

00:47:32.560 planes,

00:47:32.840 trains and automobiles,

00:47:33.620 girl.

00:47:34.260 It takes me three to five business days to get to one park.

00:47:37.020 I don't like that.

00:47:37.600 And it's hot and humid.

00:47:38.700 And it's like,

00:47:39.120 girl,

00:47:39.220 you're telling me I sweat so bad.

00:47:42.180 It was honestly embarrassing.

00:47:43.420 I was like,

00:47:43.840 at this point,

00:47:44.580 like GG.

00:47:46.200 Like,

00:47:46.480 no,

00:47:47.480 truly.

00:47:48.100 I'm like,

00:47:48.500 this is it y'all.

00:47:49.420 No,

00:47:49.560 this is different.

00:47:50.040 I give up.

00:47:50.520 Like I literally was going to curl up on the ground and be like,

00:47:52.480 just pick me up on the vacation.

00:47:53.680 I'm done.

00:47:54.400 Just,

00:47:54.700 I'm done.

00:47:55.520 The way that they need air conditioning in every single closed building in that

00:48:00.760 state.

00:48:01.900 Insane.

00:48:02.880 The AC bills.

00:48:03.860 I don't even know what they look like.

00:48:05.420 They're absolutely bonkers.

00:48:06.980 I think that,

00:48:07.960 but I think that Disneyland is like a big one for me.

00:48:10.400 I think I love that.

00:48:11.020 I listened to play this all the time.

00:48:12.200 There's nothing,

00:48:12.680 there's no shame in that.

00:48:13.680 Send me some love.

00:48:15.400 I'll share it with you.

00:48:16.280 Yeah.

00:48:17.020 We'll stream from our mom's Spotify.

00:48:18.940 Let's just stream it all in your house.

00:48:20.600 I'm at the barbecue.

00:48:22.680 Like while people are taking like shots.

00:48:24.980 Yeah,

00:48:25.240 literally little mermaid.

00:48:28.060 I think it's so,

00:48:29.120 it's just so great.

00:48:30.000 I think that's something that,

00:48:31.060 that you can also like inner child thing.

00:48:33.240 That's why the way that she described it,

00:48:34.940 I was thinking about it as I was reading it.

00:48:36.960 And I was like,

00:48:37.240 I wonder what mine would be.

00:48:38.820 And that's the first thing I thought of was Disney.

00:48:41.100 I think that's on my list.

00:48:42.200 If I were to write three,

00:48:43.280 probably be on there.

00:48:44.160 I think number one though,

00:48:45.260 for me has like been swimming,

00:48:46.820 like in a pool.

00:48:47.860 Oh,

00:48:48.540 because I,

00:48:49.060 because literally like,

00:48:50.800 I had so much free time as a kid.

00:48:52.780 Yeah.

00:48:53.320 And the swimming pool that I had in my complex was always empty.

00:48:56.260 Yeah.

00:48:56.480 So I would literally go in there and just create like a whole,

00:48:58.800 like six hours,

00:48:59.960 like six hours night till nighttime.

00:49:03.020 Yeah.

00:49:03.460 From the morning.

00:49:04.200 Yeah.

00:49:04.760 I would be in the pool.

00:49:05.840 Just like,

00:49:06.380 I don't know.

00:49:06.800 I don't even know what doing well playing mermaids by myself.

00:49:09.000 Like,

00:49:09.200 I love that.

00:49:11.260 Yeah.

00:49:11.540 So swimming has always been it.

00:49:13.120 So I,

00:49:13.880 every time I go to like Hawaii specifically,

00:49:15.820 Hawaii has always been the place for me to where I can just jump in the ocean

00:49:20.360 and like live my fantasy as a kid.

00:49:22.180 Yeah.

00:49:22.580 It's so healing.

00:49:23.560 I feel that the beach is probably one for me.

00:49:26.260 So it's in the same vein.

00:49:27.280 Right.

00:49:27.780 Yeah.

00:49:27.940 That's definitely one for me.

00:49:29.260 That's me being like connecting to my ancestors.

00:49:32.220 I'm here.

00:49:33.980 I lived in Hawaii too.

00:49:35.480 When I went,

00:49:35.900 I went to UH for college.

00:49:38.000 So I lived there for like four or five years.

00:49:40.480 And it was so great.

00:49:41.920 So life is just so much more slow paced.

00:49:44.240 It just feels like you can kind of exist like,

00:49:46.940 Oh yeah.

00:49:47.260 And be a hundred percent stripped down and just yourself.

00:49:50.760 I'm so glad I didn't have this when I lived there too.

00:49:53.140 So I could like experience everything.

00:49:55.120 Enjoy,

00:49:55.300 be present.

00:49:56.040 Yeah,

00:49:56.640 absolutely.

00:49:57.500 I love Hawaii.

00:49:59.060 Hawaii is like a second home to me.

00:50:00.400 So that's like,

00:50:01.480 Oh,

00:50:01.800 I love that place.

00:50:02.560 Me getting teary eyed thinking about Hawaii.

00:50:05.380 Inner child healing.

00:50:06.500 Yeah.

00:50:07.720 So the comments on here,

00:50:09.280 this one says,

00:50:09.920 I was obsessed with traveling,

00:50:11.140 but thought I'd never be able to go.

00:50:12.420 I'm taking a one month trip to Europe in May by myself.

00:50:15.160 My inner child is screaming.

00:50:16.740 That's so sweet.

00:50:17.280 That's really sweet.

00:50:18.080 I love that.

00:50:19.200 I'm on my way.

00:50:20.040 I don't think traveling was one of mine.

00:50:21.260 Mm.

00:50:21.740 Mm.

00:50:22.020 Mm.

00:50:22.660 I didn't really travel as a kid.

00:50:24.120 Me either.

00:50:24.900 And traveling is stressful to me.

00:50:26.460 Yeah.

00:50:26.820 But we can just start saying we now because we know we're from the same family.

00:50:30.200 Oh,

00:50:30.300 same family.

00:50:30.480 So we didn't travel much.

00:50:31.760 We went to Disneyland a lot.

00:50:33.140 We as a family didn't travel a lot.

00:50:33.800 But we didn't travel that much.

00:50:35.300 Just letting you know.

00:50:36.960 Just so you guys know.

00:50:39.220 Look at our moms here.

00:50:40.320 Hi,

00:50:40.540 mommy.

00:50:40.780 Hi,

00:50:40.900 mom.

00:50:41.080 Okay,

00:50:43.940 this one says,

00:50:44.700 I love this.

00:50:46.000 This is exactly why I make jewelry for a living now.

00:50:48.880 My inner child loves to bead,

00:50:50.200 collect rocks,

00:50:50.980 and play dress up.

00:50:51.740 That's so sweet.

00:50:52.380 That's really sweet.

00:50:52.840 I never really beaded as a kid.

00:50:54.340 I'm not really good with that.

00:50:55.940 I'm not creative like that.

00:50:57.140 I get mad at myself when I'm not creative.

00:50:59.900 Me too.

00:51:00.820 It's literally,

00:51:01.200 I can't draw.

00:51:02.260 Same.

00:51:02.820 So anytime,

00:51:03.740 it's a trauma for me,

00:51:04.920 like when my family's like,

00:51:05.960 let's play Pictionary.

00:51:07.040 And I'm like,

00:51:07.840 you know,

00:51:08.400 you guys hate me,

00:51:08.980 huh?

00:51:09.280 I'm like,

00:51:09.580 I've literally gotten to points where I'm like panicking because I'm like,

00:51:13.240 there's like,

00:51:14.040 it's something so easy and generic.

00:51:15.860 And I'm like drawing a stick figure that doesn't look like anything.

00:51:19.120 And I'm like,

00:51:19.520 guys,

00:51:19.700 I can't play.

00:51:20.240 I can't play.

00:51:20.600 I can't do this anymore.

00:51:21.300 Please.

00:51:21.680 And they're like,

00:51:21.960 it's literally just a game.

00:51:22.880 And I'm like,

00:51:23.260 there's trauma.

00:51:23.880 Like I talk at drawing.

00:51:25.180 You guys don't get it.

00:51:26.240 Okay.

00:51:26.920 That's the anxiety,

00:51:27.900 man.

00:51:28.160 I know.

00:51:29.620 Obviously we have a lot of inner child healing to do.

00:51:31.880 I need to obviously go and like draw and be okay with it and like be okay with what I'm

00:51:35.680 looking at.

00:51:36.280 Yeah.

00:51:36.600 There you go.

00:51:37.300 Just a lot.

00:51:37.980 Added to the list.

00:51:38.940 Yeah.

00:51:39.300 Added.

00:51:39.820 This one says,

00:51:40.820 this is so hard when I barely remember anything from my childhood,

00:51:43.920 but some things are starting to come back.

00:51:45.860 You know,

00:51:46.060 what's crazy is some people genuinely don't remember some,

00:51:49.100 some things from their childhood,

00:51:50.620 whether it's just like natural,

00:51:52.180 like memory or trauma,

00:51:55.060 whatever it may be.

00:51:56.220 My boyfriend's one of those people,

00:51:58.420 but I don't think it's necessarily trauma with him.

00:52:01.640 He just doesn't remember anything.

00:52:03.480 Like sometimes that's just,

00:52:04.740 I think it's just bad memory.

00:52:06.040 Like I'll tell him,

00:52:07.000 I'm like,

00:52:07.460 yeah,

00:52:07.600 did you ever,

00:52:08.400 what did you do when you were a kid?

00:52:09.960 Like I'll bring up something specific.

00:52:11.440 And he goes,

00:52:12.320 I don't know.

00:52:13.460 I'm like,

00:52:13.820 you don't remember.

00:52:14.460 He goes,

00:52:14.800 no,

00:52:15.920 that's end of story.

00:52:16.880 That's the end of the way.

00:52:17.800 He just,

00:52:18.520 no,

00:52:18.900 you want to talk about someone who like,

00:52:21.000 cause obviously like as like an earth sign,

00:52:22.900 I live in the future.

00:52:24.120 I'm constantly there right now.

00:52:25.800 Yeah.

00:52:26.000 I'm 10 years away from now.

00:52:27.660 I constantly think like that.

00:52:29.400 He is so aggressively in the present.

00:52:32.140 It blows my mind.

00:52:33.320 He has no worries.

00:52:34.160 That's kind of really nice though.

00:52:34.900 Yeah.

00:52:35.120 It must be nice.

00:52:36.200 I'm like y'all live like this.

00:52:38.160 I wish I envy it.

00:52:39.620 His ability to be like,

00:52:40.960 it's all right about anything.

00:52:43.420 I can't relate.

00:52:44.200 I need that in a partner.

00:52:45.120 Like I do because if I have somebody that's pulling me to the like future too,

00:52:49.320 I'm done.

00:52:49.940 Yeah.

00:52:50.120 I'm literally going to start vaporizing into thin air.

00:52:52.160 Like I don't even exist here anymore.

00:52:55.320 No,

00:52:55.520 same.

00:52:56.240 Literally.

00:52:56.580 That's why I'm so grateful that he's like,

00:52:58.960 like my thought process,

00:53:00.820 I describe it to people.

00:53:01.920 I'm like,

00:53:02.300 I care about everything and he doesn't care about anything,

00:53:05.080 which sounds bad,

00:53:06.180 but it's just like,

00:53:06.640 he's not worried about anything.

00:53:08.180 I constantly worry.

00:53:09.440 I worry all the time.

00:53:10.300 And sometimes I'll be like,

00:53:11.280 well,

00:53:11.420 what about this?

00:53:11.980 And he'll be like,

00:53:12.460 it's fine.

00:53:13.320 And then I go,

00:53:14.820 but what if it's not?

00:53:15.620 And he goes,

00:53:16.220 but it will be because it always is.

00:53:18.200 And I'm like,

00:53:18.720 but what if it isn't?

00:53:19.980 And he goes,

00:53:20.600 it is.

00:53:21.240 I'm jealous.

00:53:22.220 I'm so jealous.

00:53:23.040 I'm so jealous.

00:53:24.040 I envy it.

00:53:24.860 I would be,

00:53:25.340 I would low key resent it a little bit.

00:53:26.940 Cause I'm like,

00:53:27.360 can I just be right a little bit?

00:53:29.420 Like,

00:53:29.660 can it just be a little wrong?

00:53:31.120 And then,

00:53:31.400 and then when it is fine,

00:53:32.660 he's like,

00:53:33.120 I told you.

00:53:33.740 And you're like,

00:53:34.160 whatever,

00:53:35.500 whatever.

00:53:36.740 You know,

00:53:37.300 this is a perfect example.

00:53:38.700 But when we went to Walt Disney world,

00:53:41.540 like we switched hotels from one to the other.

00:53:43.980 So like when we went to the new hotel,

00:53:46.040 we were like opening everything.

00:53:47.720 And I have like a,

00:53:48.940 a charger block.

00:53:49.920 Like I'm the one who packs the essentials,

00:53:51.660 like trees,

00:53:52.260 all that stuff.

00:53:52.600 Cause like I need to know that everything's there.

00:53:54.400 Right.

00:53:54.760 So like I packed this very specific charger that I love.

00:53:57.980 I've had for years.

00:53:58.960 My mom got it for me when I was a freshman in college.

00:54:00.540 It's almost like nostalgic.

00:54:01.760 I'm a hoarder low key.

00:54:02.940 So I like hold onto things.

00:54:04.040 A charger.

00:54:04.700 If they're,

00:54:05.040 yeah,

00:54:06.240 the way it has sentimental value.

00:54:07.700 Every time you plug it in,

00:54:08.600 it's like,

00:54:09.040 just like the first time.

00:54:11.800 The way it holds like memories for me.

00:54:14.520 Okay.

00:54:15.300 Okay.

00:54:15.900 I guess I'm alone in that.

00:54:16.760 Hyper fixation.

00:54:18.620 So it's just,

00:54:19.800 it's my charger.

00:54:20.820 Right.

00:54:21.140 Okay.

00:54:21.380 So literally I,

00:54:22.740 he uses it all the time.

00:54:24.060 And so when we got to the new hotel,

00:54:26.220 I was like,

00:54:26.680 Hey,

00:54:27.180 can you get out the charger?

00:54:28.100 Of course he didn't bring his own.

00:54:29.600 I brought extra cords and he's using my block that has multiple ports and shit.

00:54:33.460 Right.

00:54:33.620 Anyways,

00:54:34.760 he's like,

00:54:35.360 Oh,

00:54:35.580 I can't find it.

00:54:36.260 And I was like,

00:54:36.720 did you leave it?

00:54:37.960 And I'm,

00:54:38.520 I'm on the brink.

00:54:39.820 I'm so tired.

00:54:41.020 We had a whole day.

00:54:41.940 I'm on the brink of losing it,

00:54:44.020 losing it.

00:54:44.460 I was going to have a full nervous breakdown about that charger just because that's how my brain works.

00:54:48.460 So I was like,

00:54:49.200 what do you mean?

00:54:50.220 What do you mean you didn't pack it?

00:54:51.620 Like you're the last one to use it.

00:54:52.740 I was literally like,

00:54:54.780 okay.

00:54:55.800 Okay.

00:54:56.140 He goes,

00:54:56.500 no,

00:54:56.640 I'm sure it's in here.

00:54:57.380 I'm like,

00:54:57.700 are you,

00:54:58.720 are you sure?

00:54:59.820 You're sure.

00:55:00.680 He's like,

00:55:01.140 yeah.

00:55:01.420 I'm like,

00:55:01.960 no,

00:55:02.260 yeah,

00:55:02.440 for sure.

00:55:02.940 For sure.

00:55:03.260 For sure.

00:55:03.760 I'm literally like,

00:55:04.720 I'm telling myself,

00:55:05.380 I'm like,

00:55:07.320 literally I'm like rocking back and forth.

00:55:09.380 I'm like,

00:55:09.580 no,

00:55:09.700 no,

00:55:09.800 no,

00:55:09.900 for sure.

00:55:10.240 For sure.

00:55:10.420 For sure.

00:55:10.720 It's totally there.

00:55:11.700 It's there.

00:55:12.280 And if it's not there,

00:55:13.100 it's okay.

00:55:13.700 That's what I kept telling myself.

00:55:14.740 Oh,

00:55:15.000 at least he said it's okay.

00:55:16.620 He didn't say that.

00:55:17.360 I said that.

00:55:17.760 No,

00:55:17.840 I know.

00:55:18.120 At least you're telling yourself.

00:55:19.380 Yeah,

00:55:19.820 literally.

00:55:20.840 I'm telling myself,

00:55:21.380 it's fine.

00:55:21.660 It's fine.

00:55:21.920 It's fine.

00:55:22.380 It's totally fine.

00:55:23.180 Right.

00:55:23.440 And then he was like,

00:55:24.260 no,

00:55:24.440 I'm telling you,

00:55:24.980 I put it in one of these.

00:55:25.860 And he says that all the time about shit and never remembers.

00:55:28.280 I'm like,

00:55:28.740 so I like let go of it in my head.

00:55:31.020 I was like,

00:55:31.260 it's okay.

00:55:32.000 It's not a real thing.

00:55:33.400 It's fine.

00:55:34.160 And then he like was opening,

00:55:35.780 but I wanted to lose my mind.

00:55:37.080 I wanted to lose it.

00:55:37.980 I wanted to have a nervous breakdown.

00:55:39.000 And then he opened everything and then he found it in one of them.

00:55:41.860 And I was like,

00:55:42.500 wow.

00:55:42.920 I said,

00:55:43.280 look,

00:55:43.480 I did so good.

00:55:44.300 I literally told him,

00:55:45.080 I said,

00:55:45.240 I did so good.

00:55:45.680 I didn't freak out.

00:55:46.480 Did you see me?

00:55:49.480 I'm not freaking out right now.

00:55:51.080 I told him,

00:55:51.480 I was like,

00:55:51.740 I didn't freak out.

00:55:52.620 Are you proud of me?

00:55:53.000 Are you so proud of me?

00:55:53.840 I did so good.

00:55:54.720 He was like,

00:55:55.120 honestly,

00:55:55.380 I'm kind of surprised.

00:55:56.200 I thought you were going to freak out.

00:55:57.420 I wonder what he,

00:55:58.220 but what would he have done?

00:55:59.760 He just sits there and watches me lose it.

00:56:01.840 And then he tells me it's okay.

00:56:03.360 And then I get,

00:56:04.120 and then I get past it.

00:56:05.340 And then he's like,

00:56:06.260 see,

00:56:06.560 I told you it was okay.

00:56:07.380 Why am I eyes watering at this story?

00:56:09.340 Like literally about a charger.

00:56:11.200 Like I'm not well.

00:56:13.480 Like that's my point though.

00:56:14.740 It's like,

00:56:15.160 it's like things like that.

00:56:16.840 Like you need someone who's going to balance you in moments like that.

00:56:20.140 It's so silly and mundane and who cares?

00:56:22.500 It's not.

00:56:22.640 It doesn't matter.

00:56:23.520 It's real.

00:56:24.040 I want this.

00:56:24.660 But it's like,

00:56:25.140 it's like the bigger picture is that like you're with somebody who gets you.

00:56:29.300 So they like understand like how you operate or whatever.

00:56:32.340 It's my control thing,

00:56:33.280 dude.

00:56:33.420 Like as I say,

00:56:34.100 it's like,

00:56:34.520 I'm trying to get it.

00:56:35.720 I'm trying.

00:56:36.300 But I didn't freak out.

00:56:37.320 And I literally,

00:56:38.120 my family and I had adjoining rooms.

00:56:40.160 I went next door to our mom's room.

00:56:41.900 Our mom.

00:56:42.140 And I was like,

00:56:42.560 I didn't freak out.

00:56:43.780 Can you believe it?

00:56:45.360 Everyone's like,

00:56:46.380 yeah.

00:56:47.660 We need to go out to dinner right now.

00:56:50.300 We have something to celebrate.

00:56:51.980 You know what?

00:56:52.960 Bring the charger too.

00:56:55.160 The charger is a part of the family.

00:56:56.560 Our youngest sibling.

00:56:59.140 They deserve it.

00:57:00.860 Wait,

00:57:01.140 what is it?

00:57:01.720 Can you bring it?

00:57:02.760 Like at one point,

00:57:03.600 I do want to meet this charger.

00:57:04.740 Oh my God.

00:57:05.160 Yeah.

00:57:05.440 I'll show it to you.

00:57:06.240 It's pretty lit.

00:57:07.460 One of the,

00:57:07.860 one of the things on it though,

00:57:09.140 it's like,

00:57:09.540 it's like two USB ports and like two plugs.

00:57:12.000 And the last plug is literally burned out.

00:57:14.160 Cause I plugged the heater into it once and it literally burned it.

00:57:16.640 It's black.

00:57:17.060 Like it's literally cinched,

00:57:18.460 but everything else works.

00:57:19.940 So you,

00:57:21.340 you straight up burned a port and was like,

00:57:24.140 I'm going to still use this.

00:57:25.260 I'm not getting rid of it.

00:57:26.480 You're going to have,

00:57:27.080 you're going to have to bury me with that thing.

00:57:28.340 I'm convinced.

00:57:29.100 In your arms and your cats.

00:57:31.440 In loving memory of Drew and her charger.

00:57:34.860 Instead of flowers,

00:57:36.080 it's that charger.

00:57:36.740 I will be in charge of creating the whole like slideshow.

00:57:39.680 Oh,

00:57:39.860 I love with you and just the,

00:57:41.500 it's just the charger.

00:57:42.360 You like literally plugging it in.

00:57:44.400 You going to sleep with it at night.

00:57:46.400 On the beach together.

00:57:47.720 A whole slideshow.

00:57:48.260 I got you.

00:57:49.160 With the phantasmic soundtrack in the background.

00:57:51.980 Wait,

00:57:52.580 it's a deal.

00:57:53.140 That's going to eat.

00:57:53.860 That's a sleigh.

00:57:54.480 I want that for my funeral.

00:57:55.700 That's a big sleigh.

00:57:56.760 And if I,

00:57:57.440 if you cremate me,

00:57:58.120 cremate that too.

00:57:58.960 Put it in there.

00:58:00.740 So yeah,

00:58:01.360 me and the charger.

00:58:03.760 It's me,

00:58:04.600 my boyfriend,

00:58:05.700 and then the charger.

00:58:07.180 A throuple.

00:58:08.200 Sleep with it in the middle of the night.

00:58:09.520 It's like,

00:58:09.920 in the middle of us.

00:58:10.740 Wait,

00:58:10.920 like the charger is like fully personified and it's like fully like crawling into bed with you.

00:58:14.820 And it's like,

00:58:15.320 come on in.

00:58:16.520 That kind of scares me.

00:58:18.240 I mean,

00:58:18.760 but would it really like,

00:58:20.500 because you're so attached to this thing.

00:58:22.180 Like if that really happened,

00:58:23.420 I'm pretty sure you would shed a tear.

00:58:24.640 Actually,

00:58:25.040 I'm pretty sure you'd be like,

00:58:26.200 wait,

00:58:26.640 like,

00:58:26.760 I'd be like,

00:58:27.200 wow,

00:58:27.420 you're so grown up now.

00:58:28.440 Our first born.

00:58:30.600 I know after my dog.

00:58:32.400 Oh,

00:58:32.640 wait,

00:58:32.840 how can I see a picture of your dog?

00:58:34.900 Yes.

00:58:35.320 Oh my God.

00:58:35.780 I'll show everyone a picture of my dog.

00:58:37.380 I take pictures.

00:58:38.100 I'm,

00:58:38.560 you know,

00:58:38.720 what's so embarrassing is like,

00:58:39.980 I'm just like that girl now.

00:58:41.420 Like my camera roll is literally all pictures of my dog.

00:58:45.640 Like the way it to like the actual lock screen yet or not.

00:58:48.920 No,

00:58:49.340 not yet.

00:58:50.500 Not yet.

00:58:51.700 It's on its way.

00:58:52.580 I,

00:58:52.820 I,

00:58:53.020 you know,

00:58:53.240 I,

00:58:53.520 it's not far off.

00:58:54.260 I won't lie to you.

00:58:55.040 Yeah.

00:58:55.220 That one picture is going to do it where you're like,

00:58:56.780 this is it forever.

00:58:57.820 This is literally like this picture.

00:58:59.920 Wait,

00:59:00.140 is this in 0.5?

00:59:01.420 Yeah.

00:59:02.920 That ears.

00:59:04.560 Can you guys see this?

00:59:05.780 Literally.

00:59:08.540 I love,

00:59:08.980 I love him so much.

00:59:10.180 So goofy.

00:59:10.900 His name is squid.

00:59:11.960 Squid.

00:59:12.580 Yeah.

00:59:13.240 That's the best ever.

00:59:14.880 But anyways,

00:59:15.820 speaking of authentic self,

00:59:17.260 squid's always his authentic self speaking of,

00:59:19.880 but what do you want to tell people who are kind of like in that interim where they're really searching for their authentic self,

00:59:25.680 whether it's online or just in general,

00:59:28.260 what would you want to want them to know?

00:59:30.280 I think my very first piece of like advice would be,

00:59:34.280 this is something I tell myself every day is to like,

00:59:36.400 be patient with yourself because whether or not you're controlling,

00:59:39.880 like maybe we are with ourselves or like more present,

00:59:42.500 like your boyfriend.

00:59:43.380 Yeah.

00:59:43.520 I feel like patience is so required because look,

00:59:50.060 like I'm my worst,

00:59:50.960 I'm my worst enemy.

00:59:52.220 Like I'm out against myself.

00:59:53.520 Like I'm that Spider-Man mean that's like literally like I'm,

00:59:56.160 I'm trying to get you,

00:59:57.080 you know,

00:59:57.340 literally saying,

00:59:58.000 but be patient with yourself.

01:00:00.920 Know that change doesn't happen overnight,

01:00:02.800 that you're not going to become this idealized version of yourself tomorrow,

01:00:06.520 maybe.

01:00:06.960 Yeah.

01:00:07.820 But that it is in the future that this version of yourself that you want to be does exist.

01:00:13.620 As long as one,

01:00:14.440 you put in the work for it to you are patient with yourself.

01:00:16.840 Three,

01:00:17.400 that you know your worth,

01:00:19.600 know who to surround yourself with.

01:00:21.100 Yeah.

01:00:22.000 And with that,

01:00:22.860 I don't think you can really fail.

01:00:24.380 Yeah,

01:00:24.800 absolutely.

01:00:25.600 I think too,

01:00:26.860 a big key to like finding your authentic self is learning how to love yourself.

01:00:30.620 That's unconditionally.

01:00:32.280 So I'd say,

01:00:33.520 I would say that too,

01:00:34.620 to piggyback off what you said is to like,

01:00:37.140 like work towards a lot of self acceptance and self love.

01:00:41.500 Cause a lot of times at that point,

01:00:43.360 that's where you'll start to really find like the things you love,

01:00:46.820 like whether it's like how you want to dress or how you want to do your hair,

01:00:50.500 or how you want to do your makeup or how you want to present.

01:00:53.960 I think a huge key component of that is like coming from like,

01:00:58.020 I love myself enough to know this is what I want.

01:01:00.420 Right.

01:01:00.740 And what you deserve.

01:01:01.760 Right.

01:01:02.200 And like,

01:01:02.840 it doesn't matter if I'm different.

01:01:04.040 It doesn't matter if it comes off different,

01:01:06.020 that this is me and I'm fully aware,

01:01:09.320 but also accepting of that.

01:01:10.720 Love.

01:01:11.460 Big sleigh.

01:01:13.220 Big,

01:01:13.760 ginormous sleigh.

01:01:16.420 Thank you so much to the wonderful,

01:01:18.400 amazing Austin for joining me today.

01:01:19.720 Thank you.

01:01:20.160 I absolutely adore you.

01:01:21.100 I feel like I just went through like therapy,

01:01:23.220 but also I feel like I just reunited with my womb mate.

01:01:27.900 Womb mates.

01:01:28.480 Womb mates.

01:01:28.900 From the womb to the tomb.

01:01:30.140 We are not only roommates,

01:01:31.880 but we're womb mates.

01:01:33.640 We're womb mates.

01:01:34.760 We're wombies.

01:01:35.520 Yeah.

01:01:36.100 But can we,

01:01:36.780 can we coin that?

01:01:37.840 Like we're wombies.

01:01:39.120 Wombies.

01:01:39.620 All the twins like being like,

01:01:41.420 that's not,

01:01:42.000 you're not real.

01:01:42.880 But we are.

01:01:43.440 Well,

01:01:43.700 how do you know?

01:01:44.340 You don't.

01:01:44.820 Our mom's right there.

01:01:46.700 She's literally two steps to my left.

01:01:48.540 So don't gaslight our mother.

01:01:49.840 Thank you.

01:01:51.380 You're not going to gaslight me.

01:01:52.960 Absolutely.

01:01:53.560 Not us.

01:01:54.220 Not because we're being vulnerable and authentic.

01:01:56.200 Yeah.

01:01:56.800 As we should.

01:01:57.980 As a true girl boss.

01:01:58.960 As you should always.

01:01:59.580 And I also want to thank EOS for sponsoring today's episode.

01:02:04.740 If you really love this episode of the comment section show,

01:02:07.440 make sure you stream it on all streaming platforms.

01:02:10.080 Also the full episodes,

01:02:11.600 the visual component drops every Wednesday.

01:02:14.200 And if you make sure that you want to see when the episodes drop,

01:02:17.820 make sure you subscribe to the Past Your Red Time YouTube channel.

01:02:20.360 And thank you all so much for joining me.

01:02:22.080 I'll see you next week.

01:02:23.120 Bye.

01:02:23.440 Bye.

01:02:23.540 Bye.

01:02:23.560 Bye.

01:02:23.640 Bye.

01:02:23.700 Bye.

01:02:23.720 Bye.

01:02:23.740 Bye.

01:02:23.760 Bye.

01:02:23.780 Bye.

01:02:23.800 Bye.

01:02:23.820 Bye.

01:02:23.840 Bye.

01:02:25.640 Bye.

01:02:25.800 Bye.

01:02:25.820 Bye.

01:02:25.840 Bye.

01:02:25.880 Bye.

01:02:27.800 Bye.

WE HAVE THE SAME MOM？｜ Drew Afualo ft. Austin Cho ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION 31

Summary

Transcript

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

WE HAVE THE SAME MOM？ ｜ Drew Afualo ft. Austin Cho ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION 31

Summary

Transcript

WE HAVE THE SAME MOM？｜ Drew Afualo ft. Austin Cho ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION 31