WE JUST HANG OUT AND SLAY ｜ Drew Afualo ft. Hina ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 30
Summary
In this episode of Comment Section, Drew sits down with Hina Slay to talk about the awkwardness of standing alone at social events, and how to deal with it. Plus, Drew and Hina reminisce about the time they met at a TikTok event and how they were starstruck by each other.
Transcript
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Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section Show,
00:01:26.080
Everybody knows me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, who cares?
00:01:37.960
They're not serving time, they're serving luck.
00:01:45.940
And we were both being awkward and standing alone.
00:01:50.640
I'm actually, like, really introverted, and I feel like people are like,
00:01:55.440
If I'm at a social function, I'm, like, in the corner.
00:02:06.620
It was, I thought, I was like, am I the gay representation of America?
00:02:13.020
Then I saw you, and I was like, you're fruity adjacent.
00:02:21.720
So, Leo Gonzalez, when I had him on my show, I was talking to, because me and Leo are good
00:02:27.840
So, I was telling Leo, like, I remember, other than Hina, because I told Leo, I was like,
00:02:34.760
But other than you, Leo was the only other person I recognized.
00:02:46.180
And I told him, I didn't say anything, because I got nervous.
00:02:55.460
And I was like, I don't even know why I know who you are, but you're that guy.
00:02:59.940
I told Leo that in person when he came on my show.
00:03:02.320
And he goes, yeah, I find that really funny, mostly because you saw that I was standing by
00:03:06.220
myself, and you didn't come say hi to me, because he was alone the entire party.
00:03:10.380
But I thought, like, I love when I see people alone at parties, because I feel like we're
00:03:15.920
Like, I feel safe with you, because you don't have friends like me.
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And I did stand there with you for a little bit.
00:03:30.520
And then the rest of the night, I was staring at you.
00:03:36.640
And the rest is rock and roll history, honestly.
00:04:37.380
And I'm like, this is God's way of showing me that she did not want me to be outside.
00:04:45.700
I was like, I'm not going to fight you on that.
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Because I was forcing myself to be outside personally.
00:05:01.420
That's kind of like my dad is such an outdoorsy person.
00:05:07.220
Every year he goes, you know what we should do for, like, any event that's not Father's
00:05:18.140
And sometimes on, like, Mother's Day, he'll literally, like, group text my.
00:05:22.900
And he'll be like, let's take your mom on a hike.
00:05:47.060
That's honestly a perfect segue into our topic for today.
00:05:49.900
So our topic for today is we're talking about roles in the relationship.
00:06:18.220
Apparently they both have specific roles, but we don't adhere to those.
00:06:34.000
I don't really know what's going on over there.
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I was on this music video set and like, in my opinion, everyone's wearing neon.
00:06:50.200
So I'm like, okay, everyone here is gay, obviously.
00:06:54.480
So I'm like over here being like fruity, like limp-wristed, walking around set.
00:06:58.160
And then everyone's like, everyone was straight.
00:07:03.200
And so I was saying like, I was just going out to people being like, ugh, the gay agenda.
00:07:12.660
And everyone was just like, oh my God, you're so silly.
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And then I was like, not me spending a whole day with straight people not even realizing.
00:07:25.780
They are scary because they blend in these days.
00:07:38.900
Okay, so basically, I think, I mean, according to the men, the straights, the scariest of
00:07:46.760
them all, if we're being real, women have very specific roles in relationships.
00:07:56.540
Do you feel like there's a role for her to play?
00:07:58.520
Well, personally, without a gender, like, I don't have any roles.
00:08:05.080
I call her, like, my husband, followed with the pronoun she.
00:08:09.660
And, like, and I feel like that really encompasses, like, our relationship.
00:08:14.280
We, personally, I don't think there's a single role there.
00:08:20.100
That is so, release yourself from the heteronormativity.
00:08:28.540
I'm like, I don't really know what we're supposed to do.
00:08:44.840
I think for me, too, like, sometimes my boyfriend, who's, like, aesthetically, like, very masculine.
00:08:59.280
And I think sometimes the whites, they will ask me things, like, about his long hair.
00:09:13.580
So, like, sometimes they'll ask, like, about the long hair.
00:09:21.720
That's what gives me the permission to talk about bald people.
00:09:29.860
So, like, for my boyfriend, like, in my culture, it's very normal for men to have really long hair.
00:09:42.060
Every man I've ever, like, liked, because I don't want to say crush, because men have repulsed me since the day I could formulate thoughts.
00:09:54.380
So, it tracks that I'm with someone with long hair.
00:10:17.140
But I think sometimes they'll ask because, according to the rules in the relationship, like, femininity is solely with the female identifying person in the world of heteronormativity.
00:10:30.840
That's why, like, when I was like, okay, I'm not girl anymore.
00:10:34.900
When I was like, I'm non-binary, I was like, it doesn't even matter if I have long hair anymore.
00:10:38.380
Because it doesn't, like, I used to be insecure about presenting femme because I was like, oh, then people are going to think I'm a girl.
00:10:52.320
They have long hair and no one's like, that's girl.
00:11:00.060
So I'm not going to look good bald because it's going to be patchy.
00:11:03.520
So when everyone is going bald during the pandemic, consider yourself privileged because I couldn't do that.
00:11:09.380
I'm shaped like a freaking peanut head from, you know.
00:11:16.240
I'd be, I'd look like a, like a Q-tip when you rub it really hard and it's all frayed.
00:11:23.320
But I have a theory that if I went bald, I would never sweat again.
00:11:32.380
I kind of like the idea of wigs because then I could be a different person every time you saw me.
00:11:40.840
We were just talking about how cringe we were when we were younger.
00:11:46.020
I was, I've been rebranding before people knew what rebranding was.
00:11:48.620
When I was 14, I was like, okay, I'm going to be like super slutty and like crazy.
00:12:00.660
But like in, in that year, that was really, that was really progressive.
00:12:05.600
Yeah, it was exactly because I was on Tumblr at that time and like all the girlies who, I was in Hawaii.
00:12:10.920
So like in Hawaii, like people were on Tumblr like that, right?
00:12:22.980
I was the most pick me of all pick me's because I, I was so convinced that I was different that I had to keep rebranding to be even more different.
00:12:32.520
And then I had an era where I was like, okay, I'm going to start reading now.
00:12:37.520
And then I was like, it's time for me to open up that chapter.
00:12:44.800
I was almost like on a silent retreat for like a whole school year because I thought people, if they knew less about me, they'd be more curious.
00:12:54.700
They were like, I think something's wrong with her.
00:13:00.820
And like the irony was like, I was a cheerleader.
00:13:02.720
So like after school, I'd go to practice and I'd go, I'd be like screaming.
00:13:05.440
So it'd be like kind of that dichotomy was really weird to be like, is that the same person that was in class?
00:13:14.120
And I was like, okay, now I'm not going to shut up, you know?
00:13:20.900
I used to be one of those people that would be like, like this and I'll rate you on Facebook, you know?
00:13:27.820
Like my status and I'll tell you my first thought about you.
00:13:30.360
If you had, if I liked your status right now, like.
00:13:33.020
And it was like 2013, like, what would you say?
00:13:39.180
I would say something like, I would literally say something so cringe.
00:13:42.540
Like, I'd be like, I love that we're language arts besties.
00:14:09.540
And then you'd have to change the caption to Hina owns this.
00:14:16.120
Because back in the day, like, we were still, like, back in the day, meaning like 10 years
00:14:20.100
ago, like, we were still colonizing the internet.
00:14:23.280
And everyone wanted a piece of that colonization.
00:14:25.360
It didn't matter who you were, what race you were.
00:14:27.460
Like, you wanted to own something on the internet.
00:14:41.800
Just like a little, you know, taking a trip across the Pacific to get myself over to California
00:14:58.600
As long as we've known each other, we've never talked about it.
00:15:08.860
All the local girlies are going to love these jokes.
00:15:15.040
I was telling them about like a terrible first date I had in college.
00:15:22.020
Cause I was a real, like, I was a real local girl.
00:15:29.660
I literally told this story on my podcast with my sister, but he asked me to like come
00:15:36.660
Basically he had been trying to like hang out with me all spring break.
00:15:45.520
But you know, like, because I was underage, I was just losing my mind.
00:15:53.400
If you go, you're day drunk every single day during spring break.
00:16:03.060
Do you remember, um, in, uh, Waimea, that rock?
00:16:07.280
One time I was like, cause at this point I was like, I can swim.
00:16:10.960
Because you know, you, if you're like raised in Hawaii to some extent, like you can swim.
00:16:16.000
So like, and then in Kailua, have you been to Kailua beach?
00:16:20.040
I used to swim that back and forth, back and forth.
00:16:27.700
So I go to Waimea, the swell, she was going through that day, but I was like, it's okay.
00:16:39.560
It's like the way they tell you to just let yourself go taken so that you can come back.
00:16:44.280
But when you're in the moment, you are fighting for your life.
00:16:56.640
And then at one point there was like a rock in the water and I just like, I dug my toe
00:17:01.840
I'm scraping that toe and I'm like, Oh my God, I am fighting.
00:17:05.520
And then next thing you know, I'm swept underneath a wave takes me and I'm tumbled onto shore and
00:17:11.300
I want to do all the hottie on a grand days and all of the, all the little boys, they're
00:17:15.780
all on the shore scoping out who's jumping and who looks the hottest when jumping off
00:17:23.080
So I'm coming out of that water with like, literally my top is gone.
00:17:31.040
Like kelp wrapped around my ankle pretty much humbled immediately.
00:17:38.040
And now nature, nature, she, I'm allergic to her.
00:17:45.500
I think that too with, uh, with Hawaii, like there are very specific places I know I can
00:17:57.420
And some of my, you know, my haole friends, they're like, it's just like any other beach,
00:18:04.080
It's not Pele's out there herself and she will punish you.
00:18:09.020
I will lay and fry like a fucking lobster on this beach before I go and test mother nature
00:18:15.660
I'm like, first of all, there's some things, there's a whole movie about a girl who can,
00:18:28.040
That's why I said, that's the part that doesn't represent me in that movie is her affliction with
00:18:40.640
She did try to kill me once and I backed off real quick.
00:18:44.520
My first time ever going to Waimea, I almost died too.
00:18:56.640
You emerge a woman or a person or a person, whoever you identify as, whatever, honestly,
00:19:05.480
So I go on this date and he wants me, he, he's like, oh, let's walk to the 7-Eleven.
00:19:11.440
That's like right off my campus to go get ice cream.
00:19:18.600
Whatever we go, he's like, get anything you want.
00:19:42.140
I'm like someone who can't bite things with my front teeth.
00:19:44.180
So when I eat cold stuff, don't watch me because you're going to hate how I do it.
00:19:53.640
So he eats these two popsicles like carrots in 20 seconds each.
00:20:01.400
And this is something that stuck with me so severely.
00:20:05.160
After he finishes, after he finishes the ice cream, we're talking, we're like, it's first
00:20:14.640
And he's like, oh, I have like, I have two brothers.
00:20:17.160
He takes the trash, throws it as hard as he can over the fence.
00:20:37.720
And then was like, so what's your favorite color?
00:20:45.860
Like from the beginning, like, oh, let's go to 7-Eleven to go get ice cream.
00:20:55.320
Have you ever been at 7-Eleven with your boyfriend?
00:21:08.820
I literally immediately, the way I immediately was like, this is.
00:21:16.100
I felt like I kept trying to leave and he was like, no, let's talk more.
00:21:19.380
And then he was like, when am I going to see you again?
00:21:36.360
I think it was the way that he threw it so hard.
00:21:43.220
You might as well just pick your nose in front of you at that point.
00:21:45.100
The way he just turned around the torque on his torso.
00:21:57.560
I was like, there's a trash can like right here.
00:22:17.060
That's literally one of their roles is to climb the fence when they litter.
00:22:24.540
If I litter over the fence, you're going to go get it.
00:22:29.380
She climbs fences pretty much every day for me.
00:22:38.700
We have like this thing going on like back and forth because we're both like kind of like.
00:22:51.620
Like it'd be like me like lifting a pile of laundry.
00:24:32.700
They would start already in the opposite roles.
00:25:18.140
That was how relationships worked before World War II.
00:25:21.440
And this is how it's going to be after World War III.
00:25:30.520
You know like the history about how women ended up in the kitchen?
00:25:37.320
And then like basically women were working like men.
00:25:41.240
And then all of a sudden these girlies were like.
00:25:54.100
It was kind of like their own decision sort of.
00:26:21.160
Who is this fictional person that you're talking about?
00:27:07.840
Wouldn't it make sense to be like whoever's home and willing?
00:27:18.200
Because you said this fictional person said so.
00:27:21.660
If you got used to being cooked for and cleaned after.
00:27:32.780
So now you love women because you love your mom.
00:27:37.240
Do you love her enough to say that she belongs in the kitchen?
00:27:49.160
You mean before it was legal for them to own their own car?
00:28:24.580
That you need to go out and work and earn money for them.
00:28:30.020
You think that girly pops out here weren't thinking like.
00:29:33.100
So my purpose in life as a lesbian is to make anyone else do my labor.
00:29:55.060
And I was going to pay somebody to do that anyway.
00:29:58.760
Because you just couldn't wait to prove your masculinity.
00:30:15.940
I tried going into like one of these situations.
00:30:24.960
If you just pretend you have no idea what's going on.
00:30:43.760
The intersectional feminist inside me is so strong.
00:31:06.380
That's why sometimes when I have to do car stuff.
00:32:28.640
That's not where I thought this conversation was going to go.
00:35:51.060
That was how relationships worked before World War II.
00:36:08.840
One thing about a man like that is they know that people want to listen.
00:36:13.020
They are so entitled to everyone's listening ears.
00:36:43.400
Yeah I mean a lot of people like if you ask anybody about any topic.
00:36:47.100
That they have like a really strong opinion about.
00:36:51.240
Versus like who's just regurgitating information.
00:36:58.440
And like the distance between you and that wall.
00:37:01.020
Tells me how much you actually know about what you're talking about.
00:37:07.900
If like you don't even know why you believe the things that you believe.
00:37:13.400
And you know these men hate to be called sheep.
00:37:21.740
I mean they don't even want to be called sheep.
00:37:40.860
It really just depends on like timing more than anything.
00:37:44.420
And then the way he's just sitting there like stone face.
00:37:49.440
If you say the most basic of logic to these people.
00:38:11.940
And you do no work as far as like growing yourself.
00:38:37.360
Because obviously he doesn't have a girlfriend.
00:38:59.640
I think that it is what's making the earth go around right now.
00:39:03.200
Because every girly pop that's in a relationship with a man.
00:39:12.220
Isn't it crazy when you're obsessed with women.
00:39:18.440
And when you do that from a genuine place of like admiration and love for women.
00:39:29.060
Is that they will only seek validation and respect and admiration from other men.
00:39:35.280
And likewise they'll only give respect, validation and admiration for other men.
00:39:40.260
That is giving something that I'm not even going to say.
00:39:46.280
The only thing you like women for is like what they can give you physically.
00:39:56.540
You like them more as objects and that's more of a.
00:40:05.020
The way that like when they perpetuate this idea that simp behavior is like bad.
00:40:14.380
It's so it's bad to be in love with your woman.
00:40:27.160
And I and I always say you know what exactly would he have to be sad about because sometimes
00:40:33.900
they're like I feel sorry for him when because they'll assume I don't have a boyfriend or
00:40:38.180
a man of any kind and then they'll say they feel yeah that's him.
00:40:44.460
So I was thinking as a lesbian right when I first stepped into the rainbow and I started
00:40:51.680
dating women I was like okay one of us boy one of us girl we are here you know because
00:40:58.640
I feel like for a lot of people like you have to unlearn yeah because like what you're taught
00:41:03.140
is hetero right and you're taught man do this woman do this and I feel like when I entered
00:41:07.520
a lesbian relationship if I was dating like a femme girl I was like okay obviously I'm
00:41:11.800
masked now and then I would pick up the pieces of what I thought a man would do in the relationship
00:41:17.360
but like that's not what I organically would do right and it's not saying I'd give her
00:41:22.080
the woman gender roles because I would do both but I'm like this is exhausting and I feel
00:41:26.180
like there's a lot of unlearning that we all need to do in order to like actually have a
00:41:29.940
healthy relationship because like even in like a lesbian dynamic like where we're obviously
00:41:34.520
both like equals a lot of people especially if you've never been in a relationship like
00:41:39.860
that or like say in the past you previously dated only men and now you're dating women
00:41:42.960
yeah like you're kind of used to a certain dynamic and it's actually crazy how pervasive
00:41:47.140
these gender roles are in most relationships like such a good point you know like because
00:41:51.220
even like as a lesbian I'm thinking like oh this is what you have to do in the relationship
00:41:55.400
you know what I mean and then it took like many relationships for me to realize like oh I
00:41:59.400
don't have to provide yeah I don't have to do that because we can both provide like oh we
00:42:04.060
can both cook we can both do this we could both do that and like now like the dynamic is
00:42:08.860
completely you know finally at equilibrium yeah and like I just asked I asked my girlfriend
00:42:13.820
I'm like what chores do you like she's like I like doing the laundry and doing the dishes
00:42:17.180
I'm like I hate those things do it I'll do the rest you know what I mean perfect yeah so literally
00:42:22.200
yeah I agree I think even in heterosexual relationships too there's a lot of like like you said imbalance
00:42:30.500
because you're taught a certain way especially raised within patriarchy right so you're led to
00:42:35.880
believe certain things and then when you enter a relationship with another person it's so
00:42:40.800
different like right being being by yourself and thinking what you think relationships will be like
00:42:45.580
right and then actually being in a relationship yeah it's whiplash it truly is it's yeah it's a jump
00:42:51.380
scare and at some points but I feel like certain aspects of like heteronormativity is that like
00:42:57.320
you don't talk about only the woman talks about her feelings the man never does like I was having
00:43:02.640
this conversation with this incel the other day I didn't know he was an incel I was just having a
00:43:06.120
conversation with this man because he was dressed cool I was like he's not an incel he was he was
00:43:10.440
like like you said they're blending yeah they're masking the way that society they're blending literally
00:43:16.500
and then basically like this man's was like yeah well you know like everyone withholds something in
00:43:22.220
relationship like the men withhold the emotional and the women withhold the physical so you know it's an
00:43:27.840
exchange so when she so basically when she gives up the physical then I have nothing to go for
00:43:32.560
anymore and I was like well if it's an exchange then wouldn't you give up the emotional when she
00:43:37.820
gives you the physical and he was like no and I was like no so by that logic how does that told me
00:43:43.680
so that's what I'm saying I was like that doesn't go with my evidence no that would make it equal and
00:43:49.680
that's not how it's supposed to be and I was like so against your own logic like it's not an exchange
00:43:53.900
then is it it's like you're bartering it sounds like a robbery it sounds like a robbery yeah I
00:43:59.440
I think that's so even when they say like it's the physical and she won't give it up
00:44:05.320
doesn't that sound like a problem if she doesn't want to partake in physical interaction with you
00:44:10.440
right at what point do you go maybe it's me right maybe it is me maybe but I also I'm repulsive and
00:44:17.100
that's why she doesn't want to do right but you know what's so nuts too in general like the psyche
00:44:21.740
for anyone like men women non-binary folks anyone yeah the psyche is a powerful thing because she
00:44:27.180
can convince you any damn thing that's she's like you know she's convinced me I'm perfect and I'm like
00:44:31.300
okay nice but like for a lot of people like it's hard to be put against your psyche to like ask yourself
00:44:38.000
to like be like well what's actually wrong with me because that's a really hurtful process for
00:44:42.300
yourself and we all want to love ourselves like let's be honest yeah so like if you could just ignore
00:44:46.920
that you could love yourself forever but like but then like what kind of sometimes you have to
00:44:51.820
hate yourself I'm sick of this love yourself mantra I'm like let me hate for a second sometimes because
00:44:57.340
I need to come back exactly it's a cycle because then when you hate yourself for a second you're
00:45:01.400
like I hate this about me yeah then you can fix it and then you go back to loving yourself yeah and
00:45:04.780
then you find something else it's like I say that too I'm like self-awareness self-confidence is
00:45:10.260
important but self-awareness is essential that's essential to exist within a society where you're
00:45:15.160
contributing member of it right you need to be self-aware to some extent right and there's some
00:45:19.780
things that you can just let go yeah like absolutely gender roles is one of them right free yourself
00:45:24.720
right is what I always say I think too like with men especially like specifically with my boyfriend
00:45:30.820
we talk about like when we have issues or we argue or we have any sort of conflict we always like
00:45:38.160
talk to each other about it after like we're like okay this is like he tells me how he felt and then
00:45:44.340
I tell him how he how I felt and then we kind of move on from there but like in the beginning he
00:45:49.340
healthy communication is essential but I I think too in the beginning he would think this is another
00:45:57.720
thing like this is a gender thing with heterosexual relationships where men will say things and they
00:46:06.340
don't understand tonality or how inflection and how that can bear weight on what you say right so it's
00:46:12.700
like you know men always make fun of women for saying things like it's not what you said it's how
00:46:16.000
you said it right but that's true that's what I'm saying I it's true like everything and I and I
00:46:21.760
explained it to him once I was like because he's never been rude to me he's never been mean to me
00:46:26.200
but the thing sometimes he'll say things and I'm like what was that supposed to mean right and so
00:46:31.340
I'll tell him it's like I learned this from my sister who's also a lesbian slay right she told
00:46:38.700
me about intention versus impact so I've taught him that the true gay agenda that is which I am
00:46:45.220
ever heard I am pushing we are buying if you want to buy into the gay agenda purchase now at 555
00:46:50.740
and I tell him like when you say things intent doesn't matter impact is what matters right how
00:46:57.120
it impacted me so true bestie even though I know and I told him too I'm like I'll just tell you this
00:47:01.740
I know you're never trying to hurt me right because sometimes they get upset because they're like
00:47:06.580
that's not even what I said right I'm not I never always leave with that too yeah I'm like I know
00:47:11.700
you're not mean I know that your intention wasn't to be hurtful yeah but in the way I felt when you
00:47:18.580
said that yeah made me feel as though yeah it's all about wording it is and then you you talk them
00:47:25.280
through it and then he understands now so well that he'll tell me he'll be like well you didn't hurt
00:47:31.580
it's not that it's like the way that it impacted me I'm well not him not him using the terminology
00:47:36.540
not him gaining too much information he has too much intel he's too far behind enemy lines yeah
00:47:42.280
he's grows stronger every day with the information but that makes him a wonderful partner right then
00:47:48.320
we're able to communicate when we have problems issues or anything and then at the end of any
00:47:53.380
altercation fight whatever we have we always say sorry to each other no matter who started it right
00:47:58.320
whose faults it is my partner and I always say yeah we always say sorry to each other because
00:48:01.840
you both did something bad right no matter what both people are hurt about something yeah and that's
00:48:06.540
like that's what I'm saying that's a beautiful thing right to have in any relationship no matter
00:48:11.300
what it is right communication is essential right and men try to say that like it's such a girl thing
00:48:16.900
to talk about and it's like terrible dudes and also I feel like the way that so like I had an era
00:48:23.960
where like I was having a really hard time finding lesbians and like basically everyone I did was bi
00:48:28.140
and I was like one of like their first like gay experiences and to which like they would be like
00:48:33.020
I would do the bare minimum I would just be like how was your day how are you feeling about that
00:48:38.200
and they'd be like wow you're a gent like you're crazy and like I'd be like I don't understand like
00:48:46.060
why this is a big deal or like you get them flowers and they're like oh my god yeah the way that the
00:48:50.660
bars in hell the bars in hell like lesbians have it like you know if we're dating from like the other
00:48:56.000
side it's like we have it really amazing over there no truly I I think we're just picking up
00:49:02.360
the pieces and they're never going back to that side and then you think to yourself I was just like
00:49:08.200
a decent I was a nice person right and I was I listened and they're like this is the best
00:49:13.860
relationship I've ever had sometimes nice guys do finish first I'll say that and that's and that's
00:49:19.260
sad yeah that is really sad so so sad for women that they feel so unheard and so invalidated that
00:49:27.460
the first relationship they have that's at one step outside of heteronormativity they're finally
00:49:33.380
being treated the way they deserve right and then they get that and I've had it where it's like people
00:49:37.660
are so uncomfortable with like that form of treatment that it almost like levels down the
00:49:42.780
romantic into something akin to friendship this has happened to me where it's like now it's bestie
00:49:47.280
vibes because I treat you so well and they're like oh my god we're friends and I'm like I'm trying
00:49:52.020
to court you but um no no no I want you to kiss me yeah I was like literally kiss me on the lips
00:49:56.960
right this second um but yeah I think it's really interesting too like I've had this um one girl that
00:50:03.000
I dated she like basically had a full-blown breakdown because like I asked her about like her boundaries
00:50:08.180
and like because we got into like a mini tiff yeah and then because of something that I did I didn't
00:50:13.140
know that it was hurtful to her and then I was basically like well do you want to communicate your
00:50:17.160
boundaries to me so that way I can respect them and I can like know how to move forward in a
00:50:20.340
relationship and she just started crying and she's like I thought you were gonna break up I was like
00:50:24.960
literally girly pop no like what just tell me what's the matter yeah you know that's so sad that's
00:50:31.920
so sad and that's why I think it's so important what's going on over there no truly that's why it's
00:50:36.660
important though in a in like a broader spectrum to have creators like you because then people can see
00:50:42.900
people like you and feel like okay that's what I want and that's like how I feel and then there
00:50:48.860
are other people like me out there who exist and I don't have to like settle for all this right
00:50:53.760
garbage garbage flaming hot garbage no truly garbage rat so this next video uh is a video of a lesbian
00:51:04.840
woman with text saying talking shit about how trash heterosexual relationships are only want a sprinkle
00:51:10.840
of heteronormative roles in my lesbian relationship so basically she says that they're trash heteronormative
00:51:21.060
relationships but she only wants a little bit sprinkled on her gay relationships what sprinkles
00:51:26.600
I don't think she I think she doesn't specify she doesn't specify um someone's like a sprinkle never
00:51:33.200
hurt anybody I hadn't pumped gas in so long that I almost forgot how to do it
00:51:37.360
I feel that I feel that it's not the same thing but my dad pumped my gas till I was like
00:51:43.660
going to college so there are some things that my father Larry is responsible for but that's just
00:51:49.140
that does not go into my homosexual relationship that in that sense I have I will have like a gay
00:51:54.720
man do it yeah and I'll be like go yeah and they're like oh my god there you go you know I feel like I
00:52:01.380
don't want a single sliver yeah unless it's like me a lesbian calling my lesbian partner my husband
00:52:06.860
that's the only thing because that you're willing to let him know yeah exactly because like I feel
00:52:11.920
like a homo relationship with sprinkles of hetero it's almost camp because it's like oh my god we're
00:52:18.760
so it's a performance like we're just we're just it's a bit you know what I mean yeah like this one
00:52:24.500
says because I'm not touching the trash boyfriend girlfriend I don't care who right I feel that I don't I
00:52:30.680
don't do the trash yeah this is for real let me pay your bills but cuddle me at night though
00:52:35.380
good deal I feel that that's I mean that's fair like yeah that's I think this is yeah I think they
00:52:42.940
want to be the little spoon yeah I'm a little spoon my boyfriend's been a little spoon yeah I'll come
00:52:48.260
out and I'll say it like I am a little spoon and like I feel like a lot of little spoons out there
00:52:52.040
are scared to say like who they are and like to come forward because I think people think little
00:52:57.440
little bad yeah big good big mask be a little guy sometimes okay and like I a self-identified
00:53:05.060
little guy I feel like sometimes like I feel shame about being so little but when I'm in that little
00:53:11.940
spoon and you feel the weight of that big spoon I'm like I've never felt safer in my life and I will
00:53:18.320
die on that hill and that's fair and I think if you guys are out there you're watching and you
00:53:22.540
are a little spoon just know like it's okay to be who you are little look at me little and spoon
00:53:29.220
I'm little and I'm spoon and I'm a little spoon I I'm the big spoon sometimes too and I think it's
00:53:36.320
important that people have someone to look up to I feel like spoon and you know what I think too
00:53:41.380
when you're whether you're little or big spoon as long as you end up on opposite sides that's all
00:53:46.580
that matters and sometimes you might be the little one and that's what's beautiful about humans is that
00:53:51.080
we're always changing if I'm big sometimes there's no rules yeah it's a surprise there's no rules and
00:53:56.340
I think that we need to apply the rules of spoons to the general relationship that's a beautiful now
00:54:01.320
to end on that is what do you want people to know about gender roles whether in relationship whether
00:54:07.760
they're homosexual or heterosexual or anything in between we just make up any damn thing truly and
00:54:14.400
like honestly if you just like let yourself exist outside just tell yourself you don't have a gender for
00:54:19.420
like five minutes and just go well what would I do now and go do that thing it's really that simple
00:54:24.200
it's really that simple and it's freeing it's freeing like I'm dressed like this I don't have
00:54:28.140
a gender you might think I'm a girl I'm not there you go release yourself package can we can we I'm
00:54:33.060
kidding release yourselves from the shackles of heteronormativity I promise it will be
00:54:38.780
so much more like your life will just open up and you'll read a book many things make bread
00:54:43.800
yeah yeah I want to see a man crocheting tag me in your video thank you so much for watching this
00:54:51.280
episode with us and thank you so much to heena for joining me today I adore you thank you drew I
00:54:56.880
would die for you and you know that oh api apis forever for life where can everybody find you
00:55:02.320
um you can find me online somewhere I'm kidding um so on tiktok it's at heena and then at kate
00:55:08.280
subs on all other platforms love probably somewhere here perfect thank you all so much
00:55:14.420
for joining me on this episode of the comment section show thank you to my wonderful guest
00:55:18.300
heena and for those of you who want to watch full episodes make sure you subscribe to the
00:55:21.980
past your bedtime youtube channel new episodes drop every wednesday you can also stream the
00:55:26.700
comment section on all streaming platforms that's spotify apple music amazon whatever blah blah blah
00:55:32.980
blah you guys already know the deal thank you so much for watching us and we'll see you