WE'RE PEOPLE GIRLS Ft. Dylan Mulvaney ｜ Episode 160
Summary
Dylan Mulvaney joins Betsy and Betsy to discuss all things transphobic travel, food, and the future of the world. Plus, Betsy tries to convince Betsy that she should go on a gay cruise to feel like a woman.
Transcript
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This episode of the comment section is presented by Billie. Taking care of yourself is very healing,
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aluminum-free Dio's keep you smelling fresh for 24 hours. You've got your reasons. Billie's got
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your routine. Shop in-store and at mybillie.com. You're a trans woman and you want to feel like
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a woman, go on a gay cruise. That is what we should be prescribing. You said I've never been
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aware. Don't take our hormones away, but also insurance should be covering gay cruises for the dolls.
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Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show. Sorry,
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me, your favorite. Everybody knows me. Who cares about me? On to the guests. Today,
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we have another iconic all-star episode for you all. The one, the only, the talented,
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the beautiful, the published, Dylan Mulvaney. Hey! Are you ready? Yeah!
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Sounds like I'm introducing you at WWE, huh? I mean, that's what 2025 is, baby. Right.
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It's mayhem. That's where we're gonna go next. We're gonna take another thing next. I can't wait.
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I brought you a little something. Oh my gosh, please, let's see it. You ever tried a Percy
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Pig? I've never had one. Okay, so these are from the UK where we're inevitably gonna have to move
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when shit becomes Handmaid's Tale. Good day, Gapna. All right, for audio listeners, I'm currently
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taking a Percy Pig sweet. I'm gonna eat it on camera. ASMR? ASMR, yeah. You've never had anything like
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it. You like a, they call them fizzies, but you like sour? Yeah. They say sour is fizzy.
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This just made so much saliva in my mouth. That's crazy, right? It's really good. There's nothing
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like it in America. That's true. I think it's because there's less processed stuff, but I like
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processed. I prefer it. Me too. You know what's funny is, that's from the UK, and I was starting
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a war with them over their food when I went over to London for the first time, but it was their hot
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cuisine. Not their snacks. I'm a big fan of their snacks. I think they nailed snacks.
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But the warm stuff. Yeah. Bad. Yeah, they're pissing me off a little bit. I eat Chipotle
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over there every day. I'm not kidding. That's actually so real. It's so healthy for me, and
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I... Yeah, you do kind of eat like Buddy the Elf. So bad. A little bit, yeah. And I've got, well,
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actually, the one healthy thing, I did bring my own BYOB, which was a grapezevia. That's true.
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That's what's in here. And she brought me one too, and I put it in my room. I brought you one
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for lunch. But it does throw me with drinking grape soda that isn't purple. Right. Because
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that should also be processed. Thank you. Yeah. And, but these pair really well together. Also
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recommend the hot rolled chips from Trader Joe's with this. Yes. That's a full meal. Right. And
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I think if we could just be sending me the Trader Joe's chips, I'm getting a place in the UK.
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Oh, beautiful. I'm going to go over there for a while.
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I love. You thrive over there. I love it. In Europe, in general. The dating. You're a European
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girl, I feel like. Oh my God. The dual citizenship. The babies with accents. It's all happening.
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It's all happening. Life comes at you fast. And then me having to fly back in 50 years,
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because we're going to host like Fashion Police with like Teffy when we're like 75 years old.
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Absolutely. I can see it. When we're even more annoying. I can see it now.
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Wow. I see our future and it is so bright. I can see it so clearly. So clear. When I was like
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really dogging out the Brits for their cuisine, it was mostly just like an English breakfast because
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I was really excited to try one. The beans? Yeah. The beans, I think, are trash, but like
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it's everything else too. I'm trying to go over there now and be accepted. You're about to
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really mess this up. I was like, before you go, let me say something. Are we still not dropping
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the F-bomb on this one? No, you can. Oh, fuck yeah. Wait, I have so much we have to catch up on.
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I have not been on this show since like day 173. Girl, and that's an exact day. I know that really
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honey, we aren't, we aren't counting anymore. No longer. You said days of girlhood. I haven't heard
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that name in so long. These are the days, bitch. A lot has happened since I saw you. It has. Let's
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catch up. Okay. What's new? What's tea with you other than the brunette hair?
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You know, trans rights are not looking so hot. Right. Oh my God. I was supposed to go on a date
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last night and I'm really popping around here. ADHD, baby. Welcome. I was supposed to go on a date
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and we matched on Raya. He's from Sweden, actually. Okay. So you're from Sweden? Me?
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Did you say same? No, I said tea. Oh, I was like, wow. Do I look like a person?
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So then he was like, I didn't want to give him a whole night. So I said, we can get a drink after
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my dinner with friends. So I go to the dinner with friends, isn't responding. I get in the car home,
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didn't hear from him. I'm home. He says, okay, let's meet up. And then I said, it's not worth it.
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Right. Period. Because I'm not going to go out of my way. Absolutely. And I'm happy for you.
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That's kind of what I've learned since being on this podcast. Hell yeah, bitch. I'm not going to
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go out of my way for many. No. And why would you? He wasn't going out of his way to be mindful of
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timing. No, he had hours to respond on the app. Right. And you're done. You're so lucky. You
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don't have to be on there. I know. Scariest place. I'm counting my blessings. Trust me, I am.
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Oh my God. Wait. Engaged? Oh, yes. Honey. Since then, we're engaged. Oh, I know. That's a beautiful ring.
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Thank you. Wow. You did a great job. Last time I saw you was Megan Trainor concert.
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Yes. We were both at Megan Trainor's concert. I got a concert. I got a shout out with Jojo
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Siwa. She's like, do you remember all that bass? She's like, oh my God, Jojo! Dylan!
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I was like, that's when you read it. Yeah, Megan didn't shout me out. Thanks, Megan.
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Yeah, fuck. I appreciate you. No, but she did let me bring 10 people. So give and take.
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You do sometimes bring a crew. I brought multiple books knowing that the family would be here today.
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That is true. Dylan brought a book for each of us.
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I love that that's becoming a moniker for me. I do want to talk about your one woman show.
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Oh my God. Because I'm so fucking happy for you, but I would love to know how that came about.
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Okay. Well, I was at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Yes.
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I was feeling very sad following Beergate, which also randomly happened since doing this pod.
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I know. We've lived a thousand lives since the last time.
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I mean, a lot has happened. So I knew that I wanted to get back into theater. That was where I started.
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But I knew that if I had written a show, especially if it was like going to talk about parts of my life or transness, that people like the media would probably just tear it apart.
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So I needed to find a safe place. And that was the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Will you say Edinburgh for me?
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And so I was like, I feel like Scotland, I'm going to go. I had never been there. I'm also the type where like, if I want to learn yoga, I'm just going to become a teacher.
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Yes. Like, I didn't know what the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I'm going to go do a show there and we'll figure it out. And it's like Disneyland, babe.
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I mean, I was sleeping with the hottest people. It was Baby Reindeer, all the good parts of Baby Reindeer.
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I was, it was like, I would have my show, my show was at 10 p.m. I'd go out to the fun bar afterwards, my tiny little dresses.
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And then, also, it's funny, I'm doing a lot of book press right now. And like, sometimes I'm like a little more buttoned up. I knew that if there was one place that I could femme the fuck out, it's this podcast.
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And so I literally am wearing, for our listeners, I'm wearing like a dress that just has like makeup and other dresses and lipstick and everything.
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And the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, wow, my ADHD, woo today. Get ready, babies. I just, I felt like, I felt joy for the first time in a really long time.
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Thank you. Because I think that first year of girlhood was so good and there was so much, so much goodness came from it.
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And then it felt like everything went so downhill. I tried to make a comeback with that song, babe, These Are The Days. That didn't go as planned.
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Girl, you did. You know you're an honorary doll.
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And I think that for me doing that show, I remember going out because it was an audience of 250 people and like they shut down the classrooms in the universities and that's what the theaters are.
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And so I'm like in a lecture hall and I did like, I finished the first show and I just started crying because I was like, oh my God, I didn't know if I'd ever feel that happy again.
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And so it was possible. And so I did, it did a sold out run there. And now I think we're going to bring it to America later this year.
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And so I've been working on that. And it just, it's so crazy, too. I think when we first met, that was really the beginnings of our come up on the internet.
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And now we were like right next to each other because we were blowing up at the same time.
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Yeah. Like, and we were holding our, each other's hands.
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Exactly. And I feel like now both of us have done all this other stuff outside of, you know, just these platforms.
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I want it because you released a book that went fucking people bought the shit out of it.
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Loved it. How about, do you have any advice for me as a first time writer? Like, or like going through this, this, you know, the press and the book tour and like, what would you say?
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Yeah. I mean, I think for you, because you're my girl, I think the, the biggest thing I would tell you is that it's yours no matter what. And the purpose of art is, is to put it out there. It's not about reviews. It's not about accolades. Those are great. And they're wonderful.
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Yeah. I tried not to like, I, I mean, I'll say this. I, the only ones I really saw were positive. The ones that I saw that were negative.
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The ones that I saw were, were negative or could be determined as negative, like perceived as negative were more so things of like people saying, I already knew this. The people who said, I already knew all this stuff. I was kind of like, okay.
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Like, cause they're all cis straight white people. So I'm like, doubt it, but okay.
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So, um, past that, they would say things like, I thought it was going to be like an insult, like guide, like how to insult people.
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Oh, because they, they just wanted to put you in a box of like, what they thought you were capable of.
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Exactly. So it's like a very superficial take on my content is me as a person. So I would say like, not to really pay attention to that. And more so to like, why you did it in the first place. Like, that's what I would focus on. Cause I was really, really nervous too, about putting it out. Cause it was so vulnerable, which I know I'm sure yours is scary.
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Yeah. Cause it's like, you're sharing something that's a piece of you. It's not like, it's not something that you created and it's just like, well, I don't care either way. It's like literally you're putting, it's like ripping your heart out and putting it on display. And people are like, I don't know. I don't really like it.
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Well, especially cause I think so much of what we give or share is generally free.
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And so I was like, if I'm asking $28 from these people, it better be good.
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Girl, I, I mean, I put shit in there that I can't believe.
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And so I really hope that people get to see another side to me because it's, it's very, you know, dark and vulnerable and stupid and all of these things.
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But I also think like, hopefully it's worth it.
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I was going to ask you about obviously paper doll.
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If you don't like the words, you will at least want that on your shelf.
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And, and under this, you know, Taylor has like a Taylor's version.
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And so that was like, the design was, were you like, was designing it hard for you?
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I was very like, well, no, even like from the minute I sold it, I was like, okay, I know
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Title was the, shockingly the hardest thing for us to come to the middle on.
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Because I was really hard pressed on, I'd rather die alone.
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Because I was like, it sounds like Jeanette McCurdy's like, I'm glad my mom died.
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Because at first my publisher was like, I don't know, it's a little negative.
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And I was like, very married to that title, even throughout writing it, the first, second,
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third pass, I was still like, that's the title.
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And then once my publisher read the whole manuscript front and back, and then the next few passes,
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he was like, I think the title, that title makes sense after you read it.
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And he was like, but it's not indicative of what it is when you first like see the cover.
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And I was like, and loud is so, it's just like, it catches you.
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I'm so happy with the title and the subtitle because I came up with them on my own.
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Because, you know, the titles can be very collaborative, too.
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So that's why I was like, I really want to at least come up with it if I can.
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And then it's weird, though, to have, I feel like I usually, like for my one-woman show,
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It's the perfect title for your one-woman show.
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But girl, couldn't promote it anywhere because of the slur.
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Now, with this one, I originally sold it as Days of Girlhood.
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And then Beer Gate happened and became a completely other book that I think it's better for it.
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Then this amazing writer at The New Yorker named Brock had written this article called Girlhood Interrupted.
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I was like, ooh, maybe I'll ask Brock if I can use that for the book title.
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And then I thought I was just brainstorming, throwing words down.
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Paper Doll feels very retro, which is like kind of my aesthetic.
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And then I also thought about like the two-dimensional aspect of like how people perceive us online.
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And then trying to make it more three-dimensional.
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And then the notes from a late bloomer, it felt kind of like notes.
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I wanted in there to signify that this wasn't some sort of like polished memoir.
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Because I think it is, you know, to be in your 20s and writing a nonfiction book, like it feels a little self-indulgent.
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When they kept saying memoir, I was like, I'm not old enough to warrant a memoir.
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So I was like, okay, notes feels like because there's journal entries in there.
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So that feels a little scrappy, a little messy.
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But the one person, my best friend Lily, who it's dedicated to, I was like so excited.
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She's like, kind of sounds like you were like the victim of abuse.
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And then, but then when I asked him, like, do you like Paper Doll?
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And I'm like, does it sound like I'm like the victim of a hate crime?
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And so, so finally last week she was like, yeah, I think I was wrong on that.
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Uh, I think that's actually a good friend though.
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Cause when I was originally doing mine, it had a completely different title.
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And I made sure, cause I thought the title was silly and fun.
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And I remembered, I told my team specifically, I was like, I need you to put working title
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on there because I don't want it to be called that because I don't want it to be about men.
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Like I kept in, like in insisting that the title needs to indicate that this is not
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And so even with publishers I met with, I was like, this is not a dating book.
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They want the dating book, but you didn't give it to them.
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That is what's tricky too, is when I think people want something very specifically for
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you and you have to be like, no, this is the thing that I want to make and it's actually
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And I think that's, that was what I was going to mention earlier when you were talking about
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like this superficially how people perceive us online and how you want to be perceived
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differently or at least seen differently with this book, which is, that was the goal of mine
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Well, I did write, this was fucking embarrassing.
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No, but I was supposed to, I haven't even done my 2025 vision board yet because I know
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Well, honey, I mean this year, this year already, but I was like, let's feel it out before
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So maybe I'm just really getting it out there before I put that up on the board.
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Um, and I think as like an author now, like I put in there, I was like, I hope these words
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on this page last longer than the videos on my TikTok profile.
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I mean, I wish you could have seen, like, I was like, this wasn't, this was supposed
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to be like 50 years from now, like, like, you know, some love letter to this app that
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So that was really stressful, but we got her back.
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Um, and, and I just think like, at least now those videos could, you know, go up at any
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minute, who knows where they, they go into video heaven, but the books, they're going
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to have to burn them if they really don't want that batch.
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And I think to you, and I already know this about you, cause I actually do know you in
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Um, but we are so much more than what we were, what we got big for is what I'll say.
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Like we are so much more as our, as is everyone who has a platform, like the people are, like
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Seeing you now on these carpets and like talking to all these people and coming out with those
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Because you do get to show all these other sides to yourself.
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And that's how I felt when I saw your one woman show.
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And you know what I will, I will say is I was so happy for you for so many reasons,
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other than the first happiness I felt was really like, you truly looked like you were
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And that made me happy because I know how hard it was for you.
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So when I give you flowers for that first, but second of all, I love seeing women thrive
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in their art form, like what they're supposed to do, born to do.
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That's how I feel about you seeing you on Broadway.
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I wanted to ask you of all the things now that you've tried, what is your absolute favorite
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Well, yes, but I'm thinking, what if you go do a one woman show?
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It's funny because I have so many friends who are artists, whether they're like pop
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artists, vocalists, writers, all of the above or Broadway stars, doesn't matter.
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And every single one of them is like, I bet, I bet you can see, you just need the training.
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I'd say it'll be a waste of my money and everyone's time.
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They're really, they're putting some people up there right now.
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Being in Los Angeles in a place where someone knows Laura Bell Bundy's name.
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I really want to do a trans Legally Blonde in the musical where there's a trans Elle.
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A Paulette would be like her trans elder that's like helping her navigate.
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And then a trans Emmett that's like, babe, you're trying to be one of them, but you're
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That's the one time in your life that you're just...
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The Color Purple is my favorite musical that...
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The Color Purple is one of my favorite musicals, too.
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So, specifically with Cynthia Eribo and the year she won her Tony, I watched her perform
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it live at the Tonys a million times back in 2016.
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I woke up this morning and thought, okay, we're going to the mainstream, you know?
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I'm on 42nd Street in Times Square right now, shuffling off to Buffalo.
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I took my whole family to go see it because not everyone...
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I recommend Six to everyone who's, like, if they're not a big fan of musical theater.
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I think it's me, you, next year, Edinburgh Fringe, two, the musical.
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And I always recommend Six because when people aren't really huge fans of musical theater,
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And my dad doesn't really care for theater just because, like, he...
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Even my man is like, yeah, that's cool, whatever.
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They just wrote a musical called Why Am I So Single?
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Also, I haven't seen The Notebook on Broadway, but I heard it's beautiful.
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Ingrid Michaelson, who wrote that one, wrote a song for my show.
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I just wish we lived a lot closer to each other.
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That we have to put working titles so people know.
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But see, that's why I love that we're theater girls.
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I used to watch on, like, a pirated, recorded version on YouTube all the time.
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Did you ever watch the reality show where they...
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I would love to know, when you were doing your one-woman show, what was the hardest part
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Because that is such a huge feat and accomplishment to do a one-woman show.
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And I saw nothing but wonderful reviews about it.
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And if you have ADHD, I know it goes crazy, the procrastination.
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And, like, I swear to God, it will be better because I'm not doing it right now.
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And I remember, like, I was in London about, like...
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It was, like, a week before the show started, and there felt like there was something missing.
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But when you've been successful at one thing, like, I made these videos, the next thing
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is tricky because you don't know if it's gonna hit or if it's gonna pop like the other...
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And then there was also the theater world being like, who's this bitch?
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Even though that's where I came from, they're thinking, oh, this TikTok girl is showing
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But I also think that then the best part of it was, oh, my God.
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I think, like, going out after every night and, like, meeting everyone that came to see
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And I knew that that was my favorite thing to do in the entire world.
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I knew that of all the things that I've tried, that's what I should be doing the most
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And it doesn't mean it's the only thing that I should be doing, but, God, it was fun.
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Yeah, and when you do something where you're like, I don't need to be paid for this.
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Because in theater, you don't make a lot of money doing that.
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Which actually, my producers, no, I didn't just say that, but I loved it that much.
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Like, it wouldn't matter if money came from it.
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Um, I'm about to do my first, uh, carpet this weekend.
00:27:33.620
Okay, so what are you, what are some tips for that?
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I think, well, first of all, you're so magnetic already, naturally, which is half the battle,
00:27:45.840
Like, when you're, like, fun and welcoming and open, like, they're really cool, like, typically
00:27:50.980
But you have a lot of famous friends, so you know.
00:27:52.480
Well, and do you notice it's, like, the people that maybe have connected with you online
00:28:04.980
Because they know that maybe they'll want to talk to us.
00:28:30.940
Like, celebrities, some, like, it depends on branding and, like, who you go with.
00:28:35.120
But, like, some of them are way more fun than others.
00:28:41.340
It has to be real, like, straight to the point, whatever.
00:28:44.560
But even then, I try to think of, like, I do standard questions in the beginning.
00:28:57.180
So, like, when I did the White Lotus, obviously, someone dies.
00:29:00.320
So, I said, can you look in the camera and give them a 10-second pitch why they should
00:29:13.140
And the snacks were a huge hit when I did snacks.
00:29:15.120
My manager did say he was just like, try to keep the energy, you know, kind of calm.
00:29:19.540
Because I'm like, hey, I'm doing it with the fucking song awards.
00:29:22.960
Like, so, that's what we're going to be working on.
00:29:26.240
If you see me with some arms flailing down the aisle.
00:29:40.660
I've literally always say, what you think she's like in real, or what you think I'm like
00:29:47.640
And what you think she's like in real life is how I am.
00:29:56.400
And see, my funnest nights, it's always true if I'm like out of work thing or something.
00:30:03.780
I'm at like a private club and I'm like grinding on someone.
00:30:13.280
And even like, I'll be out with girlfriends who like are fully straight.
00:30:16.020
And they're like, there's something about that girl that makes me just want to do something.
00:30:20.360
I've said before, she's so easy to fall in love with.
00:30:25.420
And that's literally why I got the last time I got like truly fucked up with Teffy was at the People's Choice Awards.
00:30:39.860
Honey, Chris is like everywhere right now as well.
00:30:45.420
And all got torn the fuck down at the same time.
00:30:56.840
And even like, like now I've been in these meetings.
00:31:02.100
But like, I was in a meeting with Amy Poehler and she like brought you up about how much she loves you and your content and how we need that online.
00:31:10.640
Which single tear rolled on my eye when you sent it to me.
00:31:13.380
When you sent me a voice note, I was like, single tear.
00:31:15.240
But that's, and there was, cause I was scared too that I was like, oh, these people aren't going to want to like work with us or, you know, and they do.
00:31:24.260
It's crazy how like the people in the industry that they, that are accredited with being actors or theater people or comedians or what have you.
00:31:33.540
They see a lot of potential in us that sometimes we don't even see in ourselves.
00:31:47.120
They're like, uh, uh, why are you, why are you there?
00:31:51.660
Why, why do you tick tockers get to go to this?
00:31:57.860
Unfortunately for you, you keep saying that and that's why they keep inviting us.
00:32:01.260
It's like, uh, when I was in the NBA commercial last year, like why?
00:32:09.300
And so when I went, I even told people after the, cause obviously men were pissed off.
00:32:14.220
But I've said, whether you like me, like love me, hate me, you know me and you'll talk about me.
00:32:24.880
And they hate to hear it about you, me and Chris.
00:32:28.860
Chris is everywhere and he's just going to keep being everywhere.
00:32:36.040
Uh, what your kind of process was with writing it.
00:32:39.560
I know you said it took about three years just cause you had to kind of pivot a few times.
00:32:43.200
How was the whole process in, in writing it and everything too?
00:32:46.020
I was starting doing Artist's Way, which was this like journaling kind of thing.
00:32:54.800
He said, when my friends start reading the Artist's Way, I'm like,
00:32:57.580
I think I'm going to start checking in on you a little bit more.
00:33:01.040
He's like, let's get you some shoes with no laces and let's, you know, let's hang out a little bit more.
00:33:09.880
I, I started the Artist's Way, which yes, red flag right there.
00:33:14.180
And then I was journaling like basically every day of my transition, things that I wasn't sharing online.
00:33:19.660
Believe it or not, if there was anything left, Jesus Christ.
00:33:22.940
It's, um, just like photos of my nipples basically.
00:33:27.480
And I, so I had all these journals and I thought that was what the book was going to be.
00:33:40.640
And so when my publisher was like, okay, we're ready for the book.
00:33:47.740
And so I could not bring myself to like, be like, hey, everyone.
00:33:53.740
Like there was, I was like, so then I, I, I brought on this amazing girl, Marina, who, um, I wrote every single word, but she basically would like sit with me in a Zoom room while I either cried or I asked her questions.
00:34:06.760
And, and I love that we can give her, Marina, you're everything.
00:34:10.860
And so she kind of was able to start asking me questions that like pulled things out and, um, then came these essays.
00:34:18.200
So there's a ton of essays that are in between the journal entries.
00:34:21.740
So the timeline goes first year of transition journals and then essays following Beer Gate.
00:34:30.080
I think some people might be like, honey, where, where are we now?
00:34:35.840
And, um, it's so nonlinear and you need, there's healing.
00:34:39.140
And like, so one of the essays is about me doing ayahuasca in Peru, um, which was, oh, would
00:34:51.000
Well, I always knew that I wanted to do it because of Chelsea Handler went and did it.
00:34:57.160
And so that was a huge part too of like knowing that like Amy Poehler, Lena Dunham, like these
00:35:06.420
Um, but Chelsea had this like drug doc called Chelsea Does Drugs.
00:35:12.740
And I think it was like 17 when I watched that and I was like, I'm going to go do ayahuasca
00:35:17.400
And then like years went by, I always kind of thought about it.
00:35:20.920
Um, and then this, I was like, I need a quick fix and I need it fast.
00:35:27.360
It was actually a write about this, um, in the book, but I had to go stop at Michaela
00:35:32.220
Naguera's wedding, go to Patsu and, and with Chris Olsen, we're like staying together.
00:35:39.080
Cause you do a dieta, like as I'm literally eating a Percy pig in my hand right now, you
00:35:43.860
like can't eat any, like any sugars, any carbs.
00:35:47.780
And I, so I couldn't eat any, there was nothing left for me and I don't eat meat.
00:35:53.920
And then, um, Chris looks over like during the, and you can't drink alcohol or anything.
00:35:58.580
I have like a glass of champagne and we're at the, the reception for Michaela and where
00:36:04.020
I'm like, I have a glass of champagne in my hand, like a bowl of mac and cheese in front
00:36:07.600
And he was like, aren't you like supposed to be on some diet?
00:36:10.940
Aren't those, all those things you're not supposed to do.
00:36:13.100
And I was like, babe, if it didn't come out of a microwave, like we're golden.
00:36:17.660
And then there was once I, cause that was the day before I took the ayahuasca.
00:36:21.460
Then I get down to Peru that first night and it wasn't working.
00:36:24.620
And I remember being like, it was the fucking mac and cheese at Michaela's wedding.
00:36:31.260
So, um, but like, so there are also like crazy stories that I think people wouldn't expect
00:36:37.200
from me because they still might see me as this one thing from years ago on videos.
00:36:50.120
It kind of feels like my Carrie Bradshaw in a way.
00:36:54.000
And then there's also like, I talk about my family, which is something that I never do
00:36:58.820
And I had to share that with, um, you know, my mom and my, what's funny, like my mom
00:37:03.620
like picked apart every single word and like question every like phrasing of everything.
00:37:13.620
And like, he didn't, he didn't even read it, but, um, but he's in there.
00:37:18.260
But did you have to like the, any parts of your book that had to do with others?
00:37:24.380
I, I, especially cause in my book, when I wrote about when my sister came out to me and
00:37:30.340
when I wrote about, um, me not wanting kids and why, when I wrote about those two things,
00:37:37.020
Like, obviously with my sister, I had her, like, I explained exactly like how I was going
00:37:46.460
Cause I was like, we don't have to include this at all if you feel uncomfortable with
00:37:49.800
But I feel like it was imperative in my growth as like a woman, as an ally, as like just
00:37:57.380
It was like a huge, um, moving piece for me and becoming a better person and growing
00:38:04.200
Because the way I reacted when my sister came out to me, wasn't inherently awful.
00:38:13.520
And so that's why I felt like it was important to include stuff like that just because it's,
00:38:21.080
It like, it becomes like an example of either what not to do, or it can help people that
00:38:27.040
are in going to be in that situation eventually, like not do that.
00:38:30.960
That's what I explained to my mom because like our relationship's been so tricky over the
00:38:38.100
And the sort of whole essence of the book is this like relationship, like us finding each
00:38:48.440
You know, she was like, oh, you know, I'm being painted this way or what?
00:38:51.440
And then I was like, no, if you look at the entire piece of this, it's that there's always
00:38:57.060
And I think that is way more important for trans kids and their families and allies to
00:39:02.240
read so that they know, like if they aren't starting from a perfect place, which most of
00:39:13.280
Because I grew up so religious in a very conservative household.
00:39:17.040
And the fact that like, we've still managed to figure it out is amazing.
00:39:30.480
Honestly, there's nothing more human than like growth and changing and realizing what
00:39:34.740
once you held so dearly actually doesn't serve you.
00:39:38.100
And like, there's nothing I think more empathetic than that is like acknowledging that sometimes
00:39:44.860
Like you may have been navigating it the best way you knew how, but it also could have been
00:39:50.140
And maybe it's okay that we acknowledge both of those things happened and we can, and the
00:39:55.880
Like, and like you said, it's so important, especially for the trans community, especially
00:40:00.700
now to hear stories of families who have made it through.
00:40:05.060
Well, I mean, and I had no idea that like, this is the world that this book was going to
00:40:11.080
I'm really scared still that like, I could potentially become like another poster child
00:40:17.980
But I just know that like, we need, we need trans joy anywhere we can find it right now.
00:40:23.340
I think that is a hundred percent the only way to win this battle is like, is, is fine.
00:40:28.860
Like, because I know the, if I keep finding success and joy and feeling beautiful and, you
00:40:35.400
know, owning my womanhood that what they're saying about me and this community isn't true.
00:40:43.880
And so I think this book is that, like the fact that I even was able to get published as
00:40:52.320
But I think there's, there's so much joy in this.
00:40:55.900
And I think it is like one of the first ways that I've been able to like show my audience
00:41:00.780
like, Hey, here's a way that you can support me personally.
00:41:04.500
And other trans people, the trans community as a whole, like literature existing written
00:41:13.540
For me, I don't really care what most people think about this book, but like I want the dolls
00:41:21.020
And it's one of those things I think that makes you so uniquely yourself.
00:41:26.700
Like you are, and I, and I'm saying this openly and honestly, I have, me and Dylan have been
00:41:36.520
Like you are such a good person to your core, a very selfless person.
00:41:40.120
I feel, I feel a little less earnest than when I was first on the show.
00:41:44.620
And then I even, I will say too, I think like I've gotten better at like trying to put
00:41:49.260
up a front a little bit because of, uh, just everything that's happened.
00:41:53.580
But at the end of the day, like, we're just like, we're baby girls.
00:41:57.980
Like, like we just, we're just teenage girls navigating the world.
00:42:04.100
Like I'm not going to lie and say I'm not scared, but, um, I am really proud to like
00:42:13.940
You've been brave from the day you started posting until now, and you're still doing
00:42:17.940
Even, even coming back after beer gate shows how courageous and brave you are.
00:42:22.940
But what I love about you is that you have boundaries.
00:42:25.160
Like, I think you've gotten really good at being honest about what you need, even from
00:42:31.880
And, and they don't always want to give that to you, but then you demand it.
00:42:36.420
And that's something that I want to really work on.
00:42:39.560
You know, what's sweet, you know, what's funny about that is Chris, Chris told me that
00:42:42.800
and, um, chapels told me that like, that's a big reason why chapel loves me.
00:42:46.820
And she's told me is because I stand up for myself.
00:42:50.320
And she said, like, she's told me before I admired that about you.
00:42:53.200
Like, like boundaries, setting boundaries with fans or people who hate you.
00:42:59.740
Like it's probably like a month ago and I was down.
00:43:07.860
Like, but like in a sad way, like I thought I was like my career, my life, my love.
00:43:19.040
It was like chapel Rhone liked your video or something.
00:43:22.580
And I said, I made something that chapel Rhone enjoyed enough to like, I say, that's pretty
00:43:32.640
I was like, I, I mean, I was like the people that I love, enjoy what I'm doing, enjoy me
00:43:40.360
And there's a lot of other people that maybe don't, but those aren't really my kind of people.
00:43:45.420
And, and how great that the, the people that I look up to the most, the lady gagas, the
00:43:50.180
chapels, like these are people that support and, and that are behind, and like, I just hate
00:43:56.260
the idea of wasting energy on, on those haters.
00:44:01.100
And I, and I, you know, what's funny is me and Caleb actually talked about this, that
00:44:04.980
you and I are two sides of the same coin in a lot of ways.
00:44:08.400
Like we've talked about how the way you handle hate and any sort of vitriol at all is with
00:44:16.060
Like you, you are still being so brave and so courageous and still finding joy.
00:44:20.000
Even when people are determined to take it from you, mine's a little more violent than
00:44:24.740
that, but I was like, I love the way Dylan handles it.
00:44:27.960
And Dylan loves the way I handle it because we're two different people wishing we could
00:44:31.980
And I want the other, but I, so I have been sitting on an insult that I have been waiting
00:44:37.140
to use and I don't know who I'm going to drop it here, but, and then you'll know when
00:44:45.060
Um, so say who, you know, whoever it is, I want, I want to say, um, suck my girl dick and
00:44:52.400
stay down there long enough to eat me out when it's a vagina.
00:45:04.100
I also, I, I've oscillate between vagina and pussy depending on kind of what the vibe
00:45:11.520
And, and so that's, I've got one and I'm ready when there's a girl, that's a great
00:45:19.380
It feels like topical, relatable, it's all the points.
00:45:24.900
I got, got it cleared by the, uh, by the coach.
00:45:28.220
I said, I mean, I got a big green stamp for me.
00:45:32.520
Well, before we move on, I'm going to, I have some fun facts about you.
00:45:36.740
That's where we're kind of, where'd we get those famous birthdays.com.
00:45:41.960
It says, it says you're an official certified vinyasa yoga teacher.
00:45:53.380
And, um, I was going through a, a, a, a dark breakup situation.
00:45:59.160
And instead of ayahuasca that time, that was yoga.
00:46:04.000
I taught classes at the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music and the rec set.
00:46:07.340
No, University of Cincinnati and the rec center.
00:46:09.200
I did that for about six months and, and it was great.
00:46:12.420
Can I tell you, Dylan is someone who truly like, if she wants to learn a new skill, she
00:46:17.920
just goes and joins a class and learns the skill, masters it.
00:46:21.380
And then goes, all right, I don't think I'm going to move on to the next thing.
00:46:27.200
Once you become like a certified master in it, she's like, yeah, okay.
00:46:34.680
It says on here, uh, her dad is known as the cookie man around San Diego.
00:46:38.940
He loves to bake cookies and gives them away to people for free.
00:46:52.380
Cashews, macadamias, white chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate, um, peppermint,
00:46:58.520
Like sometimes he puts those whole, you know, Costco.
00:47:01.160
Uh, the turtles, like the chocolate turtles, he'll put those right in there and just, it's
00:47:09.340
He, he's, uh, in the program and he's now sober, which he's okay with me sharing.
00:47:14.000
But, um, that's what he's now addicted to is making cookies.
00:47:19.440
Because macadamia nuts these days skyrocketing.
00:47:25.420
The price of nuts didn't go down when they put that fucking bigot in the office.
00:47:31.160
Uh, also how sweet your dad just going around handing out cookies.
00:47:34.900
I, it does get a little weird on the beach though.
00:47:36.660
If like he like gives him like a three-year-old and mom's like, Jimmy, come back.
00:48:03.160
Like, and, um, for all my San Diegans watching.
00:48:06.640
And, uh, I mean, I think they were like flying our football team private.
00:48:10.580
Like it was, it was one of those schools where like those, the football team was wearing like
00:48:15.340
Versace and the theater kids were like in, you know, just like painted.
00:48:26.620
And so we try to get the, it was the peak of glee.
00:48:29.500
Actually, maybe a little, you know, like maybe fifth season.
00:48:37.980
And then I think I got out before the house burnt down.
00:48:48.040
I will say when I don't master something, I also know when to leave.
00:48:57.280
Also, did you like, you liked Glee the show, right?
00:49:05.360
He's, he's one, he's interviewing me on one of the stops on my book tour.
00:49:16.600
And I talked about how I'm not going to teach your boyfriend how to dance with you.
00:49:22.000
They were saying like, I don't know why so many women like that one.
00:49:24.680
And I said, my theory is that when you watch Darren Criss perform it, because obviously
00:49:30.440
When you watch it, straight girls are kind of like, hold on a second.
00:49:34.840
You're like, he might be eating it up a little bit.
00:49:40.520
So they're like, wait, actually, I love this camera.
00:49:43.000
When I had Rebecca Black on, we joked about her.
00:49:50.500
She was like saying that was her 9-11 right when she had Friday.
00:49:56.740
I said, but in my head, I thought of this joke and I forgot to bring it up on the episode.
00:50:12.060
I'm still waiting for my Days of Girlhood cover on Glee.
00:50:21.800
It says, Dylan performed in How the Grinch Stole Christmas at the Old Globe in San Diego
00:50:36.160
And actually, in my book, I talk about how my divorced parents showed up to my middle
00:50:42.240
school with a bottle of Martin Malley's, and I thought they were getting back together.
00:50:46.060
And then they were like, no, you're Danny Hu in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
00:50:49.320
I was like, that's way better than you guys getting back together.
00:50:54.160
That's the one piece of news that could have made this better.
00:50:57.200
Um, and I, uh, I, so I, I grew up around, like, these gay adult professionals.
00:51:05.280
I'm like, also, why did me saying gay sound like, it was like, I was describing them as
00:51:15.320
Um, uh, but it was, it was such a special time in my life.
00:51:29.100
It says you were a huge Jesse McCartney fan as a teen.
00:51:32.580
Finding several stand posts about Jesse on Dylan's old social media.
00:51:45.840
He's got a, I, my, my email was dylanlovesjesse at yahoo.com.
00:51:51.740
And, um, I, I did go during, um, did you ever watch Stuck in the Stubber?
00:52:06.460
But, um, Jesse had a song in that, but I went to the mall performance when he was doing,
00:52:13.240
Not the top of the top, but I loved him at every face.
00:52:29.200
Um, I tried to hire Jesse for my year two of girlhood celebration to sing Beautiful Soul
00:52:35.040
for like the, I'm like, will you come support the Trevor Project?
00:52:39.460
Got the sweetest note back that was like, can't make it this time.
00:52:43.200
Um, but like, it is funny that that was basically my sweet 16 to like, be like, can we get Jesse
00:52:50.020
And I would have sat on a chair probably and made him sing it to me.
00:52:57.840
That, I mean, was Jesse the only one you fangirled over?
00:53:22.080
I was obsessed with high school musical when it came out.
00:53:29.400
I was the only, it's so much so that when I graduated from, I think like eighth grade,
00:53:35.360
cause it came out a couple, I think I was in eighth grade a couple of years after it
00:53:38.400
came out, but like I, those little shoes that Gabriella wears all throughout the first
00:53:44.700
They're like the tiniest little like Mary Jane with the tiniest little heel.
00:53:49.080
She wears them with every outfit throughout the entire movie.
00:53:54.560
I was like telling mom, I have to find these shoes.
00:54:06.700
You thought that was, I said, she's eating that shit up every little, like, Oh, I love
00:54:17.120
I was like, I need their heels, but I needed a heel.
00:54:20.080
That's why I said like, I've been, uh, that girl, that kind of girl forever.
00:54:29.760
I had to, I gave that up for a second and I'm back.
00:54:48.220
I would love to know what your dream role would be.
00:55:00.000
And like, Annalie Ashford, she was in the, she's on the album for Legally Blonde.
00:55:19.040
But she'll, no, she'll be like, I'll be at the bar.
00:55:23.940
Like, like fucking grinding on the stage manager or something.
00:55:37.160
What would you say was the hardest thing to write about?
00:55:40.940
Um, I think, uh, Beergate had to, I mean, cause first of all, I was like, oh, I don't want
00:55:47.700
But, um, also I, I think like to, to try to put into words how like disassociation so
00:55:57.700
clearly feels and how, especially being someone that is seen as a very positive person to then
00:56:03.780
try to tell people how that manifests when it goes the opposite way.
00:56:09.040
Um, that was tricky and scary, but very, um, cathartic.
00:56:15.220
And I also think there were some parts of my childhood that I had never shared that it's,
00:56:21.060
it's hard because I also, my mom, um, the other day she, she was like, oh, you know,
00:56:29.220
I was like, there's parts like, I don't know if I want you reading about like the sex and
00:56:32.320
like stuff, you know, when I was young, like, and she's like, oh God, you know?
00:56:36.500
And she's like, well, um, she was like, I like the parts where you write about God.
00:56:40.840
Cause I do write about my, my relationship with the higher power.
00:56:44.960
And I was like, I don't think God would care that much if I wrote about sex.
00:56:50.400
And I was like, well then why do you make it feel so good?
00:56:54.560
And then I was like, why did he put a G spot in a guy's butthole?
00:56:58.240
You know, like there's so many questions that are answered and she, and she didn't have
00:57:02.940
She said, what are you doing for the Superbowl?
00:57:04.820
She said, anyway, what's it about podcasts that you come on and you just will say anything?
00:57:20.020
I feel like with your ability to articulate something like that, I think will be very impactful
00:57:28.180
I hope people who read it are not just people obviously who want to and need to.
00:57:32.120
I hope it's people too, who maybe don't see things like that as like that big of a deal
00:57:45.780
And it's like, there's a real person that's like experiencing these things.
00:57:49.160
And I think too, like, it just is breaking my heart.
00:57:53.280
Like, I think the suicide rates of trans people are up so high right now.
00:57:58.680
And I remember during that time, it so clearly felt like that was an answer to like the problem.
00:58:05.060
And I hate that that's where my mind went, but that feels kind of like where society wants
00:58:11.320
us to go in our minds because they want us to feel so isolated.
00:58:14.620
They want us to feel like there are no other ways out.
00:58:18.380
And so if I like, I'm thinking about little Dylan, but like the little Dylans of today
00:58:23.920
that like knowing that there are ways out of this that are not that.
00:58:30.460
Um, I, I, oh God, it just kills me what's going on.
00:58:37.760
I think your presence in general is so impactful and important in so many different ways.
00:58:41.300
And I feel like a lot of people don't talk about like, there are other trans women who
00:58:47.960
But like what people, I think yourself included only see is like the end product.
00:58:53.240
They don't see any of the before or how terrible it was or how hard it was.
00:59:01.180
It's hard to be the first, the first that people see, the first that people come in
00:59:06.080
Like you also want to be the answer for whatever someone's problem is.
00:59:09.640
So you're like trying to take on all these roles that you're not ready for, or, you know,
00:59:19.200
But like now I feel like you didn't, you went to the white house, right?
00:59:26.100
But, but like, I think like, um, for you, you've done a really good job of like deciding
00:59:31.520
when and how you want to advocate and, and you do it so often, but in ways that feel right
00:59:37.700
And I feel like that for me, it's, it's now being on, on my kind of, um, own personal
00:59:44.440
choice and versus it being like, um, someone's telling me that this is what I need to do
00:59:52.400
And if the whole point is to avoid performative nature or, or acts in general, then it has
00:59:58.560
to be natural and organic in that, in that sense.
01:00:00.720
But I also think too, the understanding of good faith and good people is so warped now
01:00:07.300
where it's just it now, like nothing you've ever done up until this point matters.
01:00:11.860
It's just, it's almost like the clock restarts every single day, which I think is fucked up
01:00:17.360
Like, especially for people who have consistently and fervently cared.
01:00:20.580
Like even with this last election, I still in like a couple of weeks ago got comments
01:00:27.020
about someone saying, I never made it clear who the fuck I voted for.
01:00:31.080
Like I said, hello, I feel like I'm on the Truman show.
01:00:34.840
Cause then I think you and I don't have a choice, but to be political.
01:00:37.920
Cause our lives are political and that person didn't see that video.
01:00:50.000
Like actually think about what could possibly be the reason that you would ever think otherwise.
01:00:58.400
And I also think too, in taking my break and everything, cause I know you took a break
01:01:03.260
I talked to Chris about it in some ways I'm still on it.
01:01:07.880
I feel like it re-centered me in a lot of ways, but it helped me a lot to like, remember
01:01:16.600
Like, that's why I loved what you were saying about your one woman show, because it is so
01:01:20.500
important to remember why we started doing this in the first place.
01:01:26.260
And we fell into it and we're so grateful and so happy about it.
01:01:30.540
But at the same time, it comes with issues that no one could ever understand how to deal
01:01:40.180
So sometimes when new people come up, I always tell them, make friends, make friends with other
01:01:45.700
Ask about, you know, like how other people are getting paid and what events are, you know,
01:01:50.400
like, yes, because I think they, in a way, these platforms probably also want us to be
01:01:55.440
isolated because then it feels like we have to be alone in turning these products out.
01:02:01.860
And I don't like being a part of anyone else's agenda.
01:02:07.400
I'm like, I'm so tired of being used as like an example as if I'm not a real person.
01:02:13.340
And I know you're tired of being treated that way too.
01:02:24.500
I was like, did you feel like when it was down for that 12 hours, did you like, did you
01:02:30.560
feel like a sense of freedom or did you feel like, what did you feel?
01:02:34.740
I felt sadness more so for the, all the wonderful things that TikTok has brought into my life.
01:02:50.600
I was, and I think, you know, this too, Chris, we talked about this, Chris too, but like,
01:02:58.400
Like you and I, we've talked about that for a long time.
01:03:07.960
And so I was like, it's never been the end goal.
01:03:14.680
So I know that's why I wasn't as like about it, but I was sad about it, obviously.
01:03:22.200
The, oh, I had, you know, like, I really cared.
01:03:25.620
I didn't confess to anything because I didn't have anything else to confess.
01:03:38.000
Like I was thinking about the last few years and how much fun I had and like what it brought
01:03:43.120
So I did feel sad, but I was also like, well, I mean, I'll keep, I'll keep going.
01:03:47.840
Speaking of nostalgic, who was your Jesse McCartney?
01:04:01.920
We're going to see the last five years on Broadway starring Nick Jonas.
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01:05:14.340
Yeah, Jeremy Jordan and Anna Kendrick in The Last Five Years Movie.
01:05:22.300
And then I wonder why all my friends are gay, for real.
01:05:27.620
It is weird when gay people don't like theater.
01:05:34.220
If there was one other woman that should have been on that ship, it was you.
01:05:41.920
I, also the love that I have for your mom, it just, it knows no bounds.
01:05:53.000
And I couldn't do the one from Edinburgh because it had a huge set and all these, like, moving
01:06:02.620
So I'm telling you, the procrastination, honey.
01:06:07.740
And they gave me the Mamma Mia dancers from the ship that were already on there.
01:06:17.800
I had a little U.S. Navy outfit that would really shake things up.
01:06:23.700
And I went out, my opening song was called For the Gays from Death Becomes Her, the musical.
01:06:32.940
And, but it was really funny, too, because they came on, like, on the loudspeaker the
01:06:38.480
And they were like, hey, everyone, this girl's really been through it.
01:06:42.800
We kind of, you know, us Gs haven't been showing up for the T's so well.
01:06:47.540
So if everyone could, you know, funnel their way to the Orchid Theater, like, that would
01:06:58.680
And then there was, like, there was, like, two other gals there.
01:07:02.200
I think one was probably a Trumper because she looked at me like I was the Antichrist.
01:07:12.500
But then also, then there was another woman who had just, like, triple Z tits in the craziest
01:07:19.660
But then otherwise, it was these, I thought I was going to get swarmed.
01:07:23.640
I was on the Queen Elizabeth, the haunted ship, because they did not see me.
01:07:29.620
They didn't want to talk to me because they're there to meet other eligible bachelors.
01:07:37.460
I'll say, if you are a trans woman and you want to feel like a woman, go on a gay cruise.
01:07:49.680
But also, insurance should be covering gay cruises for the dolls.
01:07:54.640
I had a time in my life, went jet skiing and drove by the nude beach.
01:07:59.400
Some of the gays were really going at it on the beach there.
01:08:03.400
I jet skied up to them and they scattered kind of like ants.
01:08:23.400
This was a nice episode about theater and gay people.
01:08:30.480
I guess jet skiing is kind of cis straight like that.
01:08:35.260
That is kind of though the intersection of a lot of people like jet skiing.
01:08:42.460
At the end of the day, we all love to jet ski, don't we?
01:08:45.620
I loved your story when you said, I've been running around asking each of these gays if
01:08:56.340
Margie, there's the gal in the spa really cooked it up.
01:09:03.120
We need to be paying the makeup artists on cruise ships a lot more money because do you
01:09:08.340
know what it's like to be having to put eyeliner on someone as a ship's going like this?
01:09:25.940
I think I just think about the Titanic since we were talking about it.
01:09:32.440
Did something bad happen when that one went out?
01:09:38.020
It is weird when you're like just doing your life and then you're like, we're in the middle
01:09:43.220
There's sharks and mermaids and all sorts of shit down there.
01:09:46.720
But I think on that cruise, I think I would have had fun.
01:10:05.820
My manager told me that it's pretty common for older acts that were really successful
01:10:15.960
And it's just like them and everything's themed around them.
01:10:20.980
Like it could be a person or it could be like me trying to think of someone.
01:10:24.480
Like if the Jonas Brothers were like, I'm going to do a Jonas Brother cruise.
01:10:52.300
That's one thing I will say about since I've been on this show.
01:11:02.000
But he also gave me a thick head of hair and a thick beard.
01:11:09.340
And he took it from the worst men in the world who are transphobic.
01:11:24.800
You know what's funny is I did go blonde at one point.
01:11:35.700
But it took me like a year and a half, two to get that high.
01:11:40.060
And then as soon as it got up there, I was like, oh, hate it.
01:11:43.540
Because I can't fathom going back every like six weeks or so.
01:11:47.160
And I saw your video about like, you said the arrogance I had.
01:11:54.020
And I wasn't taking, like, I had the best hair girl.
01:11:56.880
I had the products, you know, the K-18 on standby.
01:12:06.220
That's why I feel like you and I get along so well, too.
01:12:08.420
Because I'm like, I want to take better care of stuff like that.
01:12:18.160
You have to come up every time with a different way to gas up Adam in the caption.
01:12:32.540
He's like, every time you tag me, you write something that you're like, yeah, exactly.
01:12:37.000
Well, maybe if they learned to get it, they would get it.
01:12:40.560
And then you're like, did you get some follows?
01:12:50.660
Well, first I want to say, obviously we've been joking about how it's been years since we
01:12:56.120
But I would love to know what you feel like you've learned or how you feel like you've
01:13:04.180
I think that I am doing things that I could have never imagined and surrounding myself
01:13:11.320
with really good people and trying to figure out who those people are.
01:13:15.180
Because I think when you do pop off, there's kind of a whole new world is shown to you and
01:13:20.060
you have to decide what's healthy and what's not.
01:13:22.600
And I think that I've gone through things that I could have also never imagined.
01:13:28.700
I think that purpose is such a weird thing, but I do think mine goes back to femininity.
01:13:36.500
And I think especially hyper femininity, that's where I exist and where I love.
01:13:41.280
And in that, like that I actually, the one other time I was, you know, Alok, our dear
01:13:49.000
I think we're dishing it back because that song Days of Girlhood had come out and it
01:13:57.160
got taken so out of context in all the wrong ways possible.
01:14:01.880
And Alok was like, you need to go on Drew's pod and you need to talk about it with Drew.
01:14:10.300
And I was like, whoa, like I just feel so connected with you.
01:14:14.080
And I think that there have been so many moments over the last two or three years since I was
01:14:30.160
I feel like that's, I think that's maybe what you're saying too, is that you feel a lot happier
01:14:34.580
And I was scared to say it because it's like, if I acknowledge that, like, is it going to be
01:14:39.040
taken away, but yeah, no, I, I think I'm, I'm in a good place.
01:14:47.100
I think given what you've been through, I'm sure it would be hard to believe that you could
01:14:51.520
be happier than you were before that happened to you.
01:14:54.080
But now you're even happier than you ever thought you could be.
01:14:57.120
Do you ever think about like, if none of this had happened though for you?
01:15:03.060
Like sometimes I think like if I never did this, I could be living anywhere I wanted in
01:15:07.760
a normal way and nobody would ever know who I was.
01:15:10.780
But I think when I have those moments, I acknowledge that I'm allowed to feel that way because this
01:15:17.260
is a job that has exposes you in ways you never thought you would ever have to deal with
01:15:21.660
or, or let alone stomach or like go through, be subjected to.
01:15:26.860
But then at the same time, I think if I wasn't doing this, I wouldn't be walking in my purpose
01:15:32.620
Your purpose, I think your purpose more than anything is to be yourself and continue to be
01:15:42.300
It is fucking hard to exist just as you are on the internet.
01:15:46.060
And I, I slightly changed my, um, answer to this last one while you were talking because
01:15:51.420
I feel like I lost my purpose for a second there because I was comparing myself to everyone
01:15:56.680
And, and especially I think when you feel, um, like you've done something wrong or that
01:16:02.900
something's, you know, you fumbled a situation, then you start to be like, okay, well, I didn't
01:16:12.100
And, and those are the moments that I'm not proud of because I was, you know, trying to
01:16:16.780
be some like fashion girl or, you know, do like just not showing up my authentic.
01:16:23.980
And so if I had any advice, it was, it would be like, sometimes you got to put those blinders
01:16:29.640
on baby and you got to just do what, you know, feels right.
01:16:34.540
And because it's not going to be right by everyone else's standards.
01:16:38.440
Um, and in comparison really is the thief of joy.
01:16:44.360
And the last thing I want to ask you about your book is what do you hope people take away
01:16:49.180
I hope they laugh because I, I really, I do be cracking them in there and Dylan's fucking
01:16:55.220
Can I just say, I know sometimes people don't associate you with being hilarious because
01:17:00.740
I get scared to, to, especially to crack a joke.
01:17:08.380
I hope that people like find it cute enough to like put out in their, you know, fucking coffee
01:17:17.160
Um, and where do you put your book in your house?
01:17:19.820
It's actually, I have so many of my book that I have like, they're in all my bookshelves.
01:17:26.140
The one day it rained in LA was the day that they were all sitting out on my porch.
01:17:29.580
And so now I have like wet books, just like covering my house.
01:17:38.000
Um, and, and I also, I hope that people can relate to transness in a way maybe that they
01:17:42.920
couldn't have before because I, I, I try to make it fun because it is like, that's, what's
01:17:49.460
so sad is like, it's become so scientific or, you know, fact-based or stat, like there's
01:17:55.440
so much being thrown our way that we can't acknowledge how fun and joyous and silly it
01:18:08.200
I was like, that's why I'm like, I'll never understand, um, an unhealthy and bigoted obsession
01:18:15.060
And also people with no trans people in their life.
01:18:31.240
Oh, we're, we're locked in the fucking, I mean, me, the dolls and drag queens.
01:18:48.860
I walk in, you know, head down, Burberry headband on, just eyes down.
01:19:02.660
She's at the counter, like already doing the paperwork.
01:19:05.280
I'm being told that I didn't have the right appointment or whatever.
01:19:08.440
And, and so then, um, I was there trying to update.
01:19:27.620
And, um, and, and like, what a fun person, but also a crazy person to see out in public.
01:19:35.660
I haven't seen you since Kieran and Shippica's Christmas party when you kept saying you wanted
01:19:50.800
Me and Trixie canceled on filming on each other.
01:19:55.100
Like she canceled on me and then I canceled on her two days later.
01:20:02.780
I was thinking there is a new like trans owned bar.
01:20:08.500
I think we go to see Nick Jonas in the last five years.
01:20:15.540
We pick up Teffy because you know, she's not going to the musical.
01:20:27.480
And then we get on the gay cruise the next day.
01:20:36.920
Oh, I, I, well, thank you so much for coming back.
01:20:47.520
Next time we see each other, we'll be on fashion.
01:20:51.700
And obviously everybody already knows you and knows where to find you, but you can tell
01:20:59.220
And also please tell them where they can get your book.
01:21:04.560
If you don't want to follow me, I don't know, like follow Dakota Fanning or someone else.
01:21:09.500
I always said, like, I was like, if I get a biopic, I want Dakota Fanning to play me.
01:21:25.320
But I would love you to go to like a local bookstore.
01:21:27.780
I'll store a I have a book club that you could join and we'll send it to you that way.
01:21:32.480
Um, and it's just, it's, it's a, you read or audio, honey.
01:21:36.660
There's people that, hey, the people listening, maybe you prefer an audio book.
01:21:50.980
I felt like, I felt like I was, sometimes I felt like my voice didn't sound like myself
01:21:55.160
because I was listening to myself talk for too long.
01:21:57.080
And then I, I started kind of like talking like this.
01:21:58.860
And then I felt like I was talking in different octaves.
01:22:00.020
And then I was like, no, I was like, drop it, drop it, drop it low.
01:22:15.220
And I'll tell you what, they do care a lot about aesthetics of a book.
01:22:54.060
Well, thank you all so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section.
01:22:59.600
Thank you to my amazing all-star guest, Dylan Mulvaney.
01:23:02.420
Obviously make sure y'all go follow Dylan on literally everything.
01:23:05.640
She's a fucking superstar and I love her and y'all already know this and make sure y'all
01:23:09.320
pick up her new book, paper doll notes from a late bloomer.
01:23:19.360
I love you and thank you all so much for joining us.
01:23:21.340
Don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop every Wednesday.
01:23:24.460
You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, but the video lists for free and
01:23:30.900
Thank you so much to all of you and I'll see you next week.