WHAT WAS YOUR WHIMSY？ Ft. JVN ｜ Episode 198
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 13 minutes
Words per Minute
230.3116
Summary
In this episode of Comment Section, your favourite podcaster J.V. joins Jemele to talk about her love of Dolce Vita's new boot designs, how she got into the business, and why she doesn't like stilettos.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Canada can be a global leader in reducing the harm caused by smoking,
00:00:11.620
so that adult smokers have information and access to better alternatives.
00:00:27.400
I had a Tina Belcher ass my whole fucking life.
00:00:31.300
It was just like a convex board and it is not as convex.
00:00:52.060
Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section Show
00:00:55.320
starring me, your fave, everybody knows me, who cares about me.
00:00:59.060
We have an all-star, one of my faves ever to exist in the history of time, always,
00:01:07.640
I think we have to start off with the elephant in the room
00:01:12.540
Do your people know who made these boots or what are these boots?
00:01:24.460
I'm just very passionate about a pant-to-shoe transition.
00:01:28.280
And the pant-to-shoe transition that you're giving us right now,
00:01:30.940
I also notoriously have very dead, unreactive nipples.
00:01:34.400
And it's making them kind of tingle because it's so good.
00:01:38.460
I'm honored my Dolce Vita boots could do that for you and your nipples.
00:01:45.880
I got these in PR and, like, probably two years ago, they're probably one of my most worn boots.
00:01:56.620
And it's so funny you say that about the boot transition because that's also why I like these
00:02:01.800
So it looks a little, you know, a little peekaboo.
00:02:08.540
And in my advanced age, I can't even do pointed toes anymore.
00:02:11.300
No, I can feel my feet pounding in my ears and my third eye and I get grouchy and I just
00:02:21.860
When I wear uncomfortable shoes, like, literally, I was joking about this with my sister.
00:02:29.440
Like, if I'm at an event and my feet hurt, like, it's about a 30-minute window before
00:02:34.460
I start turning terrible because my feet hurt so bad.
00:02:38.200
Sometimes I wonder if Rolling Stone was because I didn't know that about myself yet because,
00:02:46.140
Like, when I wear uncomfortable shoes, I become crazy.
00:02:50.300
No, because, like, I can literally feel my bunions, like, pounding in my ears and my
00:02:55.920
And the showrunner from Queer Eye was literally like, you can't wear these shoes anymore.
00:02:59.460
Like, you just act fucking crazy when you wear these shoes.
00:03:05.200
Because it has to be a platform and it has to be a round toe or, like, a square toe.
00:03:10.020
Like, my feet have to have room or I freak out.
00:03:20.160
Like, how it's, like, it, like, tells him to smash people's heads in the walls.
00:03:26.580
Like, my feet are telling me to do awful things.
00:03:28.980
And then you're like, oh, my God, there I am again.
00:03:35.460
You know what's, like, coming up a lot for me lately?
00:03:39.020
You're too young to really stand the bodyguard with Whitney Houston, true or false?
00:03:49.160
So, okay, and I know that they had, like, a very real love, yes?
00:03:57.220
Or was it one of those things where he was like, the greatest love of my life was always her?
00:04:01.700
Um, well, you don't really know because the runway at the end, like, the airplane is such a big deal.
00:04:08.520
Is there's this very important scene where, and I don't want to do any spoilers.
00:04:13.160
But basically, there is this stalker who's, like, trying to hurt Whitney.
00:04:16.840
And you think you know who it is, but then you find out that her sister hired this hitman.
00:04:22.240
And Kevin's, like, to the sister, he's like, how could you do this?
00:04:32.720
And even as an eight-year-old, I was like, what weed were you smoking that you got high and, like, tried to kill your sister?
00:04:39.100
Like, that was, like, not, and, like, what Ronald Reagan-ass writers wrote that line.
00:04:44.680
But I do think that for this younger generation, they should see The Bodyguard and know it more intrinsically.
00:04:49.520
Because it is such a fucking incredible piece of cinema.
00:04:53.940
And I just want people to, like, know it in their bones how I do.
00:05:05.900
Did they have something in real life after the movie?
00:05:09.200
But the way their interviews, the way they spoke about each other in interviews was really, like, heartening and beautiful.
00:05:13.160
Did you ever see the clip of, like, when he throws up the scarf and it, like, splits over the sword?
00:05:24.100
They're, like, and then Kevin, like, takes this, like, scarf, like, off, like, that she's, like, wearing.
00:05:29.080
And for some reason, there's, like, a sword on the wall.
00:05:34.660
And then the scarf, like, falls over this sword.
00:06:08.900
Like, I didn't even get invited to the fucking Wicked premiere.
00:06:11.580
Like, am I just, I'm just, like, do they just think I'm, like, in Texas and just don't
00:06:16.260
Well, also, I think you're just so famous that sometimes I think they're, like, well, they're
00:06:31.140
Was it everything that we thought it was going to be?
00:06:33.940
Like, I say with full chest, full heart, like, lived up to the hype and then some.
00:06:40.340
And I was, like, these are not spoilers, by the way, but, like, when they do As Long
00:06:47.540
But also, I literally, like, it was far more, like, sensual.
00:06:56.300
As Long As You're Mine between, uh, well, I guess you could say maybe Savick if it counts,
00:07:09.280
Yeah, and I was like, I was like, oh, are they bringing, like, a lesbian thing to it?
00:07:12.540
And then you're going, why didn't they invite me?
00:07:20.440
Yeah, like, it was far more sensual than I thought it was going to be, but it was tea.
00:07:23.820
It was so, honestly, if you love Jonathan Bailey.
00:07:27.420
If you're attracted to him in any way, shape, or form, that's the movie for you.
00:07:31.680
Not to name drop, but one time I met him in real life on the set of Bridgerton, and he
00:07:38.720
Yeah, like, he was so nice, and I was like, oh, I under, like, the charisma is really charisma-ing.
00:07:45.440
And you need to be asking me questions, but I want to ask you a question.
00:07:47.800
Because you're the only one of the two of us that saw Wicked.
00:07:51.080
And I don't know what they're going to be up against, but I'm really hoping for an Oscar
00:07:57.560
And, like, yes, it's an honor to be nominated, but I do believe that I don't care who they're
00:08:02.720
Like, if they don't both win, I've been through too much.
00:08:16.500
The only reason I say I don't know if they will.
00:08:19.060
Yeah, well, and also it's the Academy, so I don't know.
00:08:21.600
Like, the way they pick is very confusing to me sometimes.
00:08:24.320
Because who would have known, like, Anora was going to beat Demi more, but I just was
00:08:28.800
always, I've just been, like, Tyra Banks for Tiffany for the girls from Wicked.
00:08:35.260
Like, I am rooting for them so hard, and I just, I want them to win so bad.
00:08:40.720
Like, I have not wanted someone to win this bad since Michelle Kwan in 1998.
00:08:44.760
I knew you were going to reference Michelle Kwan.
00:08:48.220
And I wanted that so much that sometimes I wonder if it was my fault that, like, she got silver.
00:08:52.700
You know, like, I don't know if I willed it from, like, Quincy Eleanor, but I just,
00:08:56.400
so I don't want to want it too much that I, like, chase it away energetically, but I
00:08:59.100
am, like, literally ripping my hair out thinking about it.
00:09:01.600
And earlier, when you were telling me about it, like, my fingers were, like, gripping.
00:09:17.980
Obviously, Ariana Grande always looks stunning.
00:09:19.520
But, you know, Glinda has a very similar look throughout.
00:09:22.020
And they were giving Elphaba range a little bit in her looks.
00:09:25.880
Okay, not to name stuff as well, but I did get to interview Frances Hannan on the pod,
00:09:31.020
She, like, did all the hair and makeup, and she was, like, the lead principal for it.
00:09:34.100
And she did tell me that Elphaba has, like, more of a transition from her story visually.
00:09:42.060
And she was telling, like, the story about, like, how she achieved Elphaba's green was really
00:09:49.900
Frances Hannan would be, if you're a big Wicked Queen, you should get her on the pod.
00:09:56.900
I had Cynthia on the pod, and she is a light, a gem.
00:10:00.960
I bet people would hate to know that she is so nice.
00:10:09.700
This one day, I was minding my own business in Bergdorf's in New York City.
00:10:12.300
And I was with my husband, and we were shopping, and it was, like, a Wednesday.
00:10:15.200
And he was, like, don't shit your pants in public right now.
00:10:22.980
But when you turn around, Cynthia's literally, like, right there.
00:10:26.700
Like, we're both at Bergdorf's all at the same time, and she was alone.
00:10:29.420
She was just, like, not even with, like, a gigantic entret.
00:10:33.940
But we had met this one other time, so it wasn't, like, a second.
00:10:36.020
But I just was, like, I have to be cool, and I don't want to be too much.
00:10:42.520
And then she was, like, hey, in, like, her British accent.
00:10:45.360
And then I was, like, oh, my God, it's really good to see you.
00:10:53.640
Because I wanted to, because what I really wanted to do was invite myself to, like, hang out with her
00:10:57.140
and, like, go up and get tea on the seventh floor.
00:11:15.520
So she's got a lot of wit and banter about her.
00:11:18.800
And Ariana Grande, I've met in passing at the Oscars.
00:11:22.800
I haven't gotten to meet her for real for real yet, but I would love to.
00:11:30.540
I did get to meet her, and between her and Michelle Kwan, like, I have just been spoiled
00:11:40.460
Like, they've all, like, smashed my expectations, like, in such a big way.
00:11:48.240
Like, now it's, like, even if I meet a hero and they're not that nice, it's, like, fine
00:11:51.300
Because, like, Ariana and Michelle Kwan have been, and they both follow me, and we're,
00:12:01.100
Yeah, because, like, I got asked once in an interview, like, do you get nervous interviewing,
00:12:04.660
like, celebrities and stuff, whether it's on this show or in the carpets?
00:12:11.920
I think that's, like, a cool thing about me, that I never get starstruck.
00:12:14.380
But I think that's what makes me, it's easier to chat with me.
00:12:23.100
For those of us that don't know this story, would you mind telling, like, how did that,
00:12:27.960
I got invited to her birthday show, like, of Renaissance.
00:12:40.540
And, like, I think, who else was there at this two?
00:12:45.000
She was at one, but she wasn't at the birthday show with me.
00:12:50.680
Like, it was, like, a stack show because it was her birthday show.
00:12:53.260
But at the time, I went with Beyonce's hair brand.
00:13:01.500
And so we just said, like, Beyonce's hair brand.
00:13:04.920
And it was funny because I went two days before that with SoFi.
00:13:10.160
And two days later, and I was like, yeah, I do.
00:13:12.680
And so I went to that show, which is now, as we know, sacred.
00:13:17.000
But at the time, I remember they had cars sent for us.
00:13:20.360
And they had, like, a bunch of, like, goodie bags and stuff.
00:13:23.800
But they had recordings of her saying, like, hi, Drew.
00:13:27.440
And then thank you so much for coming to my birthday show
00:13:34.120
And when we got to the show, I remember asking, like,
00:13:36.920
when we were, like, hanging out and watching and partying and stuff,
00:13:43.240
If it is, lie to me, because I'm going to tell everyone that was really her.
00:13:47.020
And she goes, no, it was, she recorded everyone's names.
00:13:51.460
Because I think there was only, like, 12 of us.
00:13:54.880
but the rest of the message she did once, obviously.
00:14:02.960
I got invited to a Sacred launch party the following year,
00:14:11.000
Yeah, so we went, I went to the Sacred hair launch.
00:14:17.480
And when they said no plus ones and stuff like that,
00:14:19.080
I was like, okay, she's probably going to be there.
00:14:20.800
So I was thinking at most I would see her from a distance,
00:14:25.740
Because I'm afraid, because I have idolized her for years.
00:14:34.520
she's, you don't think, like, I was like, no, I don't think so.
00:14:37.360
I think, like, she'll be there and, like, announce or whatever.
00:14:50.720
And so we watched it, and that was, like, more than enough for me.
00:14:55.740
And then after the party, we were, like, kind of shuffling out.
00:14:59.180
And then my girl, who I worked with from Sacred, she was like,
00:15:08.100
I so wish I could have been a fly on the wall to, like, watch the two of you guys
00:15:11.360
Like, that was like, I need to see, like, that footage.
00:15:14.760
Because I bet you two were trying to, like, keep it together.
00:15:24.140
We were standing for probably only, like, 20, 30 minutes.
00:15:34.640
And then I don't even fucking remember what we were saying.
00:15:46.240
And then as soon as we walked out, they were like, everyone needs to put all phones, like, in a bag.
00:15:57.380
And they were taking us in groups of, like, five or six.
00:16:12.820
So when we went inside, like, she was sitting in there with Blue and Miss Tina and, like, her whole team.
00:16:18.600
And then she was just standing there waiting for us.
00:16:32.520
Like, she went around the circle and introduced herself to everyone.
00:16:36.900
But was she like, this is Blue and this is, like.
00:16:39.180
What's funny is our friend Alicia Marie, who's been a YouTuber forever,
00:16:45.620
And Blue Ivy is actually a huge fan of Alicia's YouTube channel.
00:16:56.820
And we were so happy for her because we were like, what the fuck, dude?
00:17:01.080
It's just crazy to think of someone like Beyonce being on TikTok.
00:17:20.500
I was so like, I literally was like, I'm going to freak out.
00:17:30.220
I have loved, I literally, I didn't even get to tell her this because I have, I've had this
00:17:36.580
And when I, when, when Lemonade came out, you know, she only released it on Tidal because
00:17:41.880
I literally just canceled my title like three weeks ago.
00:17:46.440
I literally overdrafted my bank account because I had no fucking money.
00:17:53.780
I knew when that came out that I had to break up with my boyfriend at the time because
00:17:56.840
when XO came on and all night, he, like, I was sobbing, fighting for my life, watching
00:18:03.820
Like, cause remember, like it came out like on the telly, like all the music videos and
00:18:06.560
I was like fighting for my life, like love, like love and lights out.
00:18:12.340
And then the, and like my, the boyfriend at the time was looking at me all crazy.
00:18:21.940
She, and then in real life, just like even more stunning than like anything we've ever
00:18:27.160
She looks like if you airbrushed a beautiful, perfect picture of someone and it came to life.
00:18:34.440
And then when they were like, she chatted with all of us and like.
00:18:38.320
I would say probably a good, like 20 minutes, like all of us.
00:18:41.800
Like, and so that I know, which is like so much time and she doesn't do meet and greets
00:18:46.600
And even Brittany was so like scared and nervous too.
00:18:50.460
Cause like she's, we both see her the same way.
00:18:52.440
And I was like telling Brittany, tell her, she's from Houston.
00:18:54.660
Like, I was like, tell her you're from Houston.
00:18:59.740
And so they were like chatting about Houston and everything.
00:19:06.460
And then they just literally like, like popped up like these bright lights and everything
00:19:17.740
She has like a setting, like ready, like at all times, you know, like when people come
00:19:21.920
up to you, like, like people, when people come up to me, like there's like a certain
00:19:25.220
like kind of like things that I can probably predict that someone's going to say to me.
00:19:30.040
And I would think that for you, there's like a top three things that, what the fuck do
00:19:35.420
you think the top three things were that people said to Beyonce before she had like such
00:19:40.380
Like, I wonder what people, but they're probably like, I love it.
00:19:43.140
It's probably been like so long that like, it's probably been since like, you know, 2001.
00:19:46.980
She's been like, these hoes are not coming within fucking 50 feet and be like, they're
00:19:52.740
When the four original Destiny, oh my God, am I having a stroke?
00:19:56.800
When the four original Destiny's Child, like when it was like Latavia and like that other
00:20:00.680
one, they came to my fucking junior high and did a concert like with Beyonce and Kelly
00:20:07.240
And actually, I think, I think Michelle Williams wasn't even in it yet.
00:20:14.120
Jumpin' was like just becoming a thing and, and, um.
00:20:21.380
And it was like a $10 ticket to like our junior high gym.
00:20:24.580
And it was the big, and it was like a house of Darion.
00:20:33.820
I worked with Kelly when her and I were in an NBA commercial together, which is so funny.
00:20:45.780
And her Red Lights from like back with Nelly and, um, and, uh, what was that song?
00:21:04.720
I got to, um, I, I almost lied to you and I'm so glad that I caught myself.
00:21:08.460
I saw Death Becomes Her and I thought she was going to be in there, but it was, but it
00:21:13.420
was her, it was like the understudy and cause Michelle was in that, but at first I was sad.
00:21:17.700
But it was the understudy's like Broadway debut in that performance and she did really good.
00:21:20.860
So then I was like, okay, like full slate, but I've also not seen her IRL.
00:21:28.320
I, I have to get her the same way I do like the black pink girls.
00:21:32.500
I've met two of the four black pink members and that apparently my average is very high.
00:21:38.540
So, cause I've met Jenny and Lisa, la la Lisa, if you will.
00:21:48.520
I talked to, I interviewed Jenny at the Billboard Women in Music Awards and she was so nice.
00:22:01.480
I, I could not believe how many people were down there when she was talking to me.
00:22:07.620
And the way that they like, everyone was like, Oh my God.
00:22:12.980
Like all around, uh, like where I was at Billboard because I was almost like underneath the stage
00:22:19.080
kind of like, and I was next to photos and all that stuff where I was doing the interviews
00:22:23.620
So they would sometimes come with all their team, like, you know what I mean?
00:22:26.380
Like their glam people, their managers, whatever.
00:22:28.760
She came with her big team, but then they, there were just hort, like a bunch of people
00:22:33.720
came out of nowhere and they were like, Oh my God.
00:22:44.260
Who's the one of Blackpink who like sometimes like seems like she doesn't know the dance
00:22:48.240
and then people like rag on her for like not knowing the dance is good, but she's really
00:22:59.280
There's this one girl who like people rag on her on Blackpink.
00:23:01.720
I don't know which one it is who like, and they say that like she doesn't like, she's
00:23:17.040
They're so beautiful and stunning and talented.
00:23:20.020
And they're also all the exact same height, if you can believe it.
00:23:23.060
I've been knowing about this K-pop for so long.
00:23:24.760
In 2008 at Miss Universe, there was this girl named Boa or like B-O-A and she was like
00:23:29.520
this K-pop diva and she sang at Miss Universe in like 2008.
00:23:33.000
And I have been like on the K-pop team since then.
00:23:35.820
I feel like millennials who like beauty pageants may know what I'm talking about.
00:23:40.700
Honestly, I'm a little, I was like, I was like a born and bred fangirl.
00:23:44.400
Like when I was younger, I loved like the Jonas Brothers were like my thing.
00:23:51.580
And I have met them and that was fun and full circle.
00:23:54.420
I like wrote fan fiction about them and everything.
00:23:59.460
You know what's funny is my, typically fan fictions are meant to be written in a way
00:24:08.340
Like it was like a third person POV of their life.
00:24:14.360
Like Miley, they were on the Best of Both Worlds tour, which was like Hannah Montana.
00:24:28.540
That was when Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas were like dating.
00:24:34.440
And so like basically Miley was the hero in my story.
00:24:40.500
I have, I have apologized to Selena Gomez already on this podcast live.
00:24:52.200
No, I literally was like 11 and my sister was really good at coding like on MySpace.
00:24:58.320
So we were literally working together to like build a fan fiction website.
00:25:01.900
And we were like, oh my God, we're going to put it up.
00:25:04.280
And then for some reason, like something just stopped us as if like we were like, this is
00:25:11.140
You guys gave yourselves the ick before you could post it.
00:25:16.040
Which is funny because I wrote the entire fucking story.
00:25:20.180
I wrote the entire thing, hand wrote the entire thing in notebooks.
00:25:31.360
And then for some reason we were like, God, I just can't.
00:25:35.220
Maybe that would have ended up going viral and like ruined your career.
00:25:38.400
It would have been like my Friday, Rebecca Black.
00:25:43.020
You had your like future use best intentions ready.
00:25:47.040
It was like I came back from the future and I was like, don't.
00:25:57.080
Every time I want to do fan fiction, it's about some like really niche ass movie that no one
00:26:05.600
It's like I want to do fan fiction on like the cutting edge.
00:26:15.180
Was Michelle Kwan your introduction to ice skating?
00:26:22.780
Like as like a six year old in 1992, it was like Christy Yamaguchi, Nancy Kerrigan, Tanya
00:26:32.700
Then Michelle came on the scene and she took me out.
00:26:41.980
Like, like I fell so in love with her and never fell out of love.
00:26:45.820
And she, but she, I mean, I, I already loved skating, but she made me fall.
00:26:49.440
But she was like my number one, like fervent, like person.
00:26:55.780
And back then too, like figure skaters careers like lasted longer.
00:26:59.000
So like I really, I mean, she did like three, really four Olympic cycles.
00:27:10.000
Then in 1988, she went, she went in 2002 and then she went in 2006 and got injured.
00:27:14.900
And there and that, and I was literally just talking about Adam with Adam Rippon about
00:27:19.660
Cause I had him on my podcast, so like not to name drop, but she, that injury was like
00:27:24.160
how Emily Hughes got to skate in the Olympics, which I thought was so interesting.
00:27:32.440
And gymnastics, like encyclopedic girl, encyclopedic like obsession.
00:27:41.080
If you ever want to watch together, let me know.
00:27:42.280
What was it about ice skating and gymnastics that really hooked you?
00:27:47.280
I think it was as a small, as a, as a gay kid in a very small town, there was this like
00:27:53.400
something about these women, these young women having like being so strong and having all
00:27:59.880
of this like attention on them for something that they had worked so hard on.
00:28:08.920
I feel the same way about women in a lot of ways.
00:28:11.780
Like I was talking about this with my friend recently where I was talking about watching
00:28:22.660
I was like talking to my girlfriend about it, but I was saying like, there are some people,
00:28:27.460
women, namely, that I can think of in my head that I feel like almost like regardless of
00:28:33.740
what your opinions are on religion or like a belief in anything else, right?
00:28:38.000
The universe, whatever it is you believe in, that's spiritual.
00:28:40.820
There's something about women I can think of whose art form is so intense and pure that
00:28:46.880
I think to myself, there has to be a higher power.
00:28:50.000
Because there's, that's the only reason they've been put on this earth.
00:28:55.000
And I was like geeking out about it with my friend because I was telling her, Rosalie
00:29:02.940
But you know what, man, I think is a good example.
00:29:08.640
Like he's the, well, because I think he said he's like, he's just like straight and he's
00:29:13.260
But he is like, I'm really not one of those gays who's like, has like a straight guy fetish.
00:29:17.980
But like the way that Bad Bunny could just run me over with his car.
00:29:22.920
And I don't even mean like sexually, like he could just run me over and I would take
00:29:27.220
Like literally Bad Bunny, if like the closest I'm going to get to you is like you running
00:29:30.480
me over in a fucking car, run me the, ruin me girl.
00:29:39.440
And it's not even only physical, like which normally it is for me.
00:29:49.120
Like his POV is just like fucking shiver me timbers.
00:29:54.140
And I was telling her, I feel like that's why, another reason why I love women so much.
00:30:01.000
The way that they like, and I feel like you see women this way too.
00:30:04.060
Like, especially how you were describing how you saw figure skaters.
00:30:07.120
Like the, the way that women see the world and move through the world is like so beautiful
00:30:12.760
to me that I was like, every time I see a woman thriving, like Rosalia, for example,
00:30:22.240
Someone's going to be lucky enough to, to have you, but no man deserves it.
00:30:31.280
So like, I feel like you idolize a lot of women too.
00:30:34.040
And I think that's why I have such a profound and pure love for women, which is why like,
00:30:38.620
I was joking about this the other day with my mom too, that like, I've had some pretty
00:30:41.720
negative experiences with women in the workplace and like in ways of like positions of power,
00:30:47.760
I guess like I've had a lot of negative experiences in a way that could make me hate women very
00:30:54.480
Um, but even then I was like, when I'm being treated poorly by a woman for misogynistic
00:31:01.320
ideals, obviously, I think to myself, there has to be a reason why you're that way.
00:31:10.160
I don't want to be friends with you, but I do have empathy for you.
00:31:13.100
And like, it doesn't, I always like tell myself, this isn't going to make me hate women because
00:31:17.660
I know what, what pure love from a woman feels like.
00:31:22.140
I've literally just been saying in my standup comedy tour, I have this bit where I'm like,
00:31:25.460
I do think that part of the key for our healing is going to be that we learn to love people
00:31:33.180
I just wish that we didn't live in a world we had where we had to learn to love with Sarah
00:31:38.220
And, and I think if we can like be celebrating women in a world that's got fucking Sarah Huckabee
00:31:43.600
Sanders and Caroline Levitt and Pam Bondi, if they can't make us hate fucking women, ain't
00:31:53.160
These fucking, they've lost, well, I don't think they ever really, and Megan fucking
00:32:06.700
They have put something in the white women's water.
00:32:08.540
It's always been bad, but it's really bad right now.
00:32:33.120
This holiday season, raise a glass with Di Sirono, the world's favorite Italian liqueur,
00:32:41.360
With smooth almond, vanilla, and cocoa notes, all nut and gluten-free, every sip is unforgettable.
00:32:47.140
Celebrate in style with a limited edition 500th anniversary collection.
00:32:51.400
Five stunning bottles inspired by centuries of beauty, elegance, and style.
00:33:08.500
Amanda always tries her hardest to look for very rare ones, so I guess we'll see.
00:33:12.460
Okay, it says, in 2013, you co-starred in your sister's short comedy film, Love That Girl,
00:33:21.180
It was just like a three-minute episode, and it's really my stepsister's half-sister, Kim,
00:33:29.000
But she wrote this short, or did my friend Emily write it?
00:33:32.280
I can't remember if Kim or Emily wrote it, but yeah.
00:33:34.220
The whole gag of that was is that I was supposed to be one of their boyfriends, and so the other
00:33:51.920
It says you were a cheerleader at University of Arizona.
00:33:57.420
But I only got like a 1.7 GPA my freshman year.
00:34:00.440
I got like all Fs and one B, so I got kicked off the squad.
00:34:11.340
And I think any is probably too much, but I was 17 and 18, and I just, I am from a really
00:34:17.620
little town in Illinois, and then I moved to the university, I moved to Tucson, which
00:34:21.380
is like University of Arizona, and I just, I just found drugs, I found gay stuff, and
00:34:27.060
I just didn't have time to go to class also, and this is so true, at the time, Lifetime,
00:34:32.700
like the TV channel, used to play like four hours of the Golden Girls from like 5 a.m.
00:34:37.240
to like 9 a.m., and I would go to the early morning cheer practice because like I had to,
00:34:41.920
it was like from 5.30 to 6.30, but then I would always be like, instead of going to my
00:34:46.600
first class, I'd be like, oh, I should just go home and watch the Golden Girls, and then
00:34:49.180
I'll go to class, like later, but then I never left the house because it was like Golden
00:34:52.600
Girls, and then I just started doing drugs like at 9 or 10, and then I just kind of lost,
00:34:59.760
I just kind of fell off, guys, and the other problem was is that I knew I wanted to do hair.
00:35:07.060
Like, this is silly, but yeah, college was not good for me.
00:35:22.820
Yeah, it was a little rough, but it really gave me some good experiences and some good
00:35:31.900
I mean, if you think about it in the way that you wouldn't be here now, the way you are
00:35:35.860
today, if you didn't have those experiences, I think it's a better perspective for you.
00:35:51.880
I mean, I'll do the motions to a chant right now.
00:35:53.700
I also do love that you knew about hair very early on.
00:35:58.680
Not many people can say that they knew their calling from that young of an age.
00:36:02.620
Mine was even way before that, but the world was like, no, it needs to be this.
00:36:09.540
Yeah, because I wasn't going to be a professional figure skating coach.
00:36:11.640
So what other, you know, I didn't have any ice rinks.
00:36:19.220
I've noticed that, too, because I feel like I've always had a pretty devout sense of purpose
00:36:25.460
I feel like I knew what I wanted to do, and I was like, I think I have a general idea
00:36:34.200
But I think I just wasn't sure how I was going to get there, because I think at the time,
00:36:39.380
I always thought, like, I know I like to entertain, and I like to be on camera, but
00:36:44.900
for some reason, I didn't think acting was an option.
00:36:48.480
Like, for some reason, I never thought that was an option for me.
00:36:50.520
I was like, and maybe that was me being, like, a Virgo to, like, even as a child, because
00:36:55.260
I was like, well, I mean, what if I don't get an acting job?
00:36:59.260
Like, that's how I was thinking when I was very young.
00:37:02.140
I was like, well, I have to get something steady so I can have income.
00:37:04.780
You do have to be so brave, though, to put yourself out there, like, the way that we
00:37:16.400
And I think people underestimate how, like, hard it can be, unless it's something, like,
00:37:23.780
Like, I really do feel like entertaining is my calling.
00:37:26.680
So I feel like people underestimate how hard it can be to get in front of a camera and just,
00:37:38.400
That's where I'm giving Glinda, like, I don't know where I'm pulling from to entertain the
00:37:47.200
And that's why I think that's another reason why, too, I've, whenever I talk to creator
00:37:50.780
friends, I always tell them to, like, make friends, like, get in therapy and make friends.
00:37:55.940
Like, if you're going to do this, and I mean friends who do this for a living, because no one
00:38:03.860
And no one really, I mean, like, genuinely speaking, I really don't think people want
00:38:09.420
Like, that have real jobs that are hard, like, physically taxing, like, and awful.
00:38:15.180
Like, I would never complain about my issues to, like, a teacher or, like, in a way that's,
00:38:25.300
There's, like, I feel like there's just, like, so much more that goes on that I, like,
00:38:31.420
I was, like, I've talked about it before, where it's, like, no matter, it's not necessarily,
00:38:36.220
it's not that this job is the hardest job in the world.
00:38:39.040
It's that this job is the only job, I think, that has no prior training experience, and
00:38:46.920
Because until you become someone, like, a celebrity and influencer or whatever, you're
00:38:51.220
never going to be able to interact with those people to ask them, hey, how did you deal with
00:38:55.860
So I feel like it's a job that no matter how many jobs you've had before, none of them
00:39:02.160
Like, no amount of training or, like, if I had, like, a million restaurant jobs, none of
00:39:08.120
that could have prepared me for the problems I have in this job.
00:39:11.500
They're so specific to this job, which is why I think community is so important, because
00:39:16.140
it's, like, I need to bounce these ideas or, like, my frustrations or grief is off someone
00:39:24.140
Or, like, I can ask for advice from, which is why I love being friends with people like
00:39:27.640
you or other people who have been in the industry longer than me.
00:39:30.340
So I can ask, like, how did you deal with this?
00:39:38.120
I don't mean to aggressively change a subject like this.
00:39:47.500
It's like, I just got it from a vintage shop, you guys.
00:39:51.780
And I just don't know why I wasn't vintage shopping sooner.
00:39:59.160
I don't know if it counts, but I've been buying stuff off the RealReal that is older.
00:40:13.400
But there's this place called, like, the Village Vintage.
00:40:15.620
And they do, like, these, like, pop-ups in New York and Austin.
00:40:26.360
Because it is so much more affordable than, like, new stuff.
00:40:29.380
And it's just, like, kind of really interesting and amazing.
00:40:31.340
It's funny you say that because recently I downloaded the RealReal and started shopping
00:40:35.740
Because I, like, don't, I don't really buy, like, a lot of designer things.
00:40:42.580
But, like, it's not something I'm, like, fiending for, like, every time new things come out.
00:40:46.900
So, like, when I'm, like, I think I want a new bag, I always think, like, going in the
00:40:55.060
But also, too, like, because it's kind of like shopping for a car.
00:40:58.020
You know, they, like, make you wait in there for a while.
00:41:00.400
So if you get so frustrated, you just buy something.
00:41:03.540
And then sometimes I don't like all the stuff they have, like, depending on the season.
00:41:07.020
So then I was, like, I'm so picky and, like, I don't need them brand, brand new.
00:41:13.580
Yeah, I was, like, I think shopping secondhand would be better for me.
00:41:15.840
And then I can find cooler things that aren't in the store.
00:41:20.620
I've been, like, getting some really cute shit for, like, way cheaper.
00:41:30.800
Yes, like, bags that I, like, Impulse bought in, like, 2018 or 19.
00:41:33.780
But then I've, like, sat on a shelf for, like, five years.
00:41:37.620
I've been trying to sell gowns and stuff that I've purchased and worn.
00:41:44.900
One got rejected because it had a little bit of my spray tan on the inside.
00:41:51.020
But I find, like, the clothes, I will resell it.
00:41:54.780
But it's, like, when you know how much you paid for something and then it's, like, still in really good shape.
00:41:57.960
It's, like, the resale value of clothes just sucks.
00:42:03.280
They did kind of dick me a little bit on some of my gowns that I've sold.
00:42:16.660
I've been buying, like, pre-loved stuff on there and some clothes and stuff, too, which has been really nice.
00:42:23.820
I got this, like, Hermes bag that I had been asking my, like, see, because I got, like, I got a guy at Hermes.
00:42:28.800
But they just never have this, like, one bag that I've really been wanting.
00:42:34.480
And it was, like, the only thing it didn't have was the box.
00:42:41.100
Whereas, like, a Birkin or a Kelly is, like, more expensive on resale.
00:42:45.700
But all the other, like, not as well-known bags are cheaper on resale.
00:42:50.400
So if you're a sales associate ever, you just, like, can't get it, it's, like, look on Rebag.
00:42:56.400
For, like, a Rulie or, like, a Lindy or, like, a Picatin.
00:42:59.340
I'm very, like, I don't know, like, whatever's about designer stuff.
00:43:05.140
But when I really like it and I really want to buy it, I'll, like, look into it.
00:43:14.320
And I got, like, all these people on my TikTok that started teaching me about, like, the lore of the leathers and, like, why this is like this and why that's like that.
00:43:31.200
I have taken that bag to, like, five continents, worn it every fucking day, beat it up, torn it down, shoved shit in it.
00:43:41.480
At least it's more of an investment piece than the other brands.
00:43:44.600
Well, even the ones that don't hold their value as well.
00:43:46.440
Like, you're Ruli, you're Lindy, you're Picatin, like, a Constance, like, wallet.
00:43:50.900
Like, they're all just the quality of how well it's made really is you can beat it the fuck up.
00:43:56.400
Whereas, like, when I wear my, like, Rick Owens or Gucci or anything else that's, like, in a similar expense meter for, like, a jacket or, like, a sweater or a jean, wears out, fucks up.
00:44:07.860
But, like, Hermes really doesn't wear out or fuck up.
00:44:10.480
It's just, like, it's made on, like, a different level.
00:44:15.600
I feel like a big dum-dum about stuff like that.
00:44:19.840
The older I get, the more, like, I am kind of, like, naturally interested in it.
00:44:23.680
But I understand how in this, like, time and space it's, like, really, like, tonally, like, maybe not the best.
00:44:31.320
And I remember, like, before I made money, like, reading a magazine, it would be, like, sweater 1100, jeans 700.
00:44:37.180
And I'd be, like, that's, like, my fucking double my rent.
00:44:40.880
And I will say that, like, that's why, like, I'm down with Hermes, though.
00:44:45.580
Because, like, I do think if you have the money, it is worth it.
00:44:50.840
Whereas designers, it's, like, something from H&M holds up the same as something from.
00:44:58.620
So there's really no shame, I think, in buying fast fashion.
00:45:01.340
And it can be just as durable and just as amazing.
00:45:07.920
Yeah, I just want it to hold up if I'm going to spend that money on it.
00:45:11.420
And I think that's why I waited a really long time before I bought anything to, like, design it for the first time.
00:45:19.540
But I was very, like, I grew up with no money at all and, like, and had no money for a very long time until I started making money.
00:45:27.440
I think that, honestly, that helps us, like, appreciate it more and spend it more wise.
00:45:32.340
I even had a meeting with my business manager, like, a couple weeks ago.
00:45:35.980
We're talking about some other business stuff I'm looking into.
00:45:38.700
And she was, like, and she likes to do, like, health checks with me.
00:45:42.360
Like, just, like, hey, like, we're looking good on taxes and whatever.
00:45:46.460
And she was, like, honestly, like, you're, like, one of my least spendy clients.
00:45:54.540
Like, I'm not buying, like, a bunch of designer stuff.
00:45:57.640
I'm not buying, like, anything super, super expensive, which is, like, I think typical for influencers especially.
00:46:07.700
But I'm not an impulsive person literally at all.
00:46:11.200
I'll put something in a cart for weeks and think about it.
00:46:18.880
And then I'm, like, oh, wait, I think I wanted to buy something.
00:46:21.040
And then when I put it back in there again, I go, I need to think about that.
00:46:26.200
I have a really good, like, safety system for this because, like, I don't know how to online shop.
00:46:30.220
Like, so my stylist or, like, someone in my office, like, has to do it.
00:46:41.000
Like, I didn't know the login for the place where I got it from.
00:46:43.820
And then I had to, like, call my head of operations.
00:46:45.380
And I was, like, I know that I ordered it because I got a confirmation email.
00:46:55.880
I will say one thing that this job has, I've, like, introduced into my world that I never thought I would ever need was a travel agent.
00:47:04.860
Girl, the way that that saves me so much time, stress, and energy.
00:47:09.220
I never in a million years thought I would need a travel agent.
00:47:13.000
But once I started doing comedy, like, I've been in with a travel agent since, like, 2018.
00:47:23.820
You're like, I'm stranded in Milwaukee, and I need to get to Vegas.
00:47:27.460
Or, like, I need to get to, like, fucking Saskatchewan or something.
00:47:31.020
I went to Penn State earlier this year to do, like, a college talk.
00:47:34.700
And it was planes, trains, and automobiles, first of all, to fucking get there.
00:47:44.380
And then drive, like, had to drive for four hours up to Pennsylvania or wherever the fuck we were.
00:47:52.520
And we had to drive four hours there because I missed my flight, which was, like, to a small airport.
00:47:58.240
But thankfully, I had someone to, like, also Carrie.
00:48:01.420
Carrie's my assistant, so she's also wonderful and helps with stuff like that.
00:48:05.300
I just never in a million years thought I would ever need something like that.
00:48:15.560
This one says, they used to have a funny or die series called Gay of Thrones, where they would recap Game of Thrones episodes.
00:48:25.180
Actually, the funniest thing I think about that story is, is that when the Emmys first started awarding, like, essentially a web series.
00:48:32.380
It was, like, short form, or it was, like, variety, or, like, short form variety series or something.
00:48:38.060
The first time that that got, like, announced, or, like, the first time the Television Academy made that a category, Gay of Thrones was one of the first nominees.
00:48:46.960
Like, Randy Rainbow, like, Carpool Karaoke, which would go on to win.
00:48:55.660
And now that I ever said it, and I am so grateful for the Academy and our nominations, but I do just think there is something to be said for, like, a funny or die.
00:49:02.500
We had a budget of $16, and we were up against NBC, who was getting budgets to, like, book fucking Celine Dion and stuff, and I used to, like, we were able to make something with literally, like, two cents and, like, willpower.
00:49:17.100
And I'm just, when I do look back on that show, though, it really is incredible, like, what we were able to make, and it was so cool, and it was such a moment.
00:49:23.300
I think without Gay of Thrones, I would have never booked Queer Eye, and it's so true, because the producers of Queer Eye, like, knew me from Gay of Thrones, and so they already kind of, like, liked me, because they had saw that.
00:49:38.080
I think it's not as strong, obviously, as Game of Thrones.
00:49:45.340
I'm just, like, can I just, can we just, like, back off so much fucking our uncles?
00:49:52.240
You know what's so funny is, like, I agree with you.
00:49:54.940
In a very logical brain of mine, I do agree with you.
00:49:58.240
In the world of the show, I was, like, get them together immediately.
00:50:04.980
Like, that uncle-like character was, like, I get why she was triggered.
00:50:17.080
Matt Smith has that strong, like, pro-magnon forehead.
00:50:30.300
My husband has, like, a really good, strong, like, Greek nose, I feel.
00:50:32.860
He's not Greek, but it just reminds me of, like, a Greek statue.
00:50:36.820
My, my fiance has, like, a very strong forehead and hooded eyes.
00:50:51.760
And we're really hot, so we really, yeah, we do have so much in common.
00:51:02.380
Yeah, smarter than, smarter than most people give us credit for, I'd say.
00:51:07.860
Recently, I had someone ask me, I did, like, a college talk, too, and someone asked me,
00:51:11.980
like, what's something you wish people recognized about you more than what they do recognize for you,
00:51:22.940
Like, easily, I would say how smart I am, and then, um, how kind I am, that, too.
00:51:27.660
I was like, those really aren't the two main ones that they think of when they think of me.
00:51:31.760
Um, but I would say, yeah, smartness more than anything.
00:51:39.200
Because it is way tighter and, like, more shapely than it's ever been.
00:51:43.500
And I just think because people aren't prepared or expecting that it's going to be, like,
00:51:47.620
sitting where it is or filling out these jeans the way that it has been, I just feel like
00:51:51.480
people, other than my husband, who does, but I have to prompt him kind of how I had to do
00:51:58.120
I want these fucking hoes to start saying, like, that JVN does have, it's like, it's like
00:52:08.440
Because I had a Tina Belcher ass my whole fucking life.
00:52:30.640
I know the material in your skirt is really, like, emphasizing, I would say.
00:52:37.260
What other, is there anything in there about me that I don't know?
00:52:43.520
It says, for Halloween in second grade, you dressed up as the judge on the OJ Simpson trial.
00:52:51.220
This is, like, pre-Rachel Dolezal, pre-transracial.
00:52:54.460
I did just see that she did detransition back to being fully white woman on Twitter, which
00:53:01.620
But, yeah, I did dress up as Judge Ito in second grade, who was an Asian American man.
00:53:09.240
And I didn't do anything, like, controversial with my face shape.
00:53:14.760
And I also was wearing my Sunday school, like, acolyte outfit for my judge robe.
00:53:27.980
And I just, I was very, I didn't understand racism or anything like that when I was six
00:53:37.280
I was very, like, feeling like he probably did it.
00:53:45.300
And I was just like, ah, now here's a, this is actually a really interesting six stories of
00:53:51.580
But Nicole's sister went on this, like, speaking tour after the trial.
00:53:55.800
And it was, like, a domestic, like, abuse, like, awareness speaking tour.
00:54:07.960
And I couldn't, I didn't know what emergency exit meant.
00:54:11.800
So, I went out this emergency exit in this ballroom.
00:54:15.120
And I set off this, like, emergency exit in the middle of her talk.
00:54:23.300
And Nicole Brown Simpson's sister's talking event in, like, 1995 in my hometown.
00:54:29.340
And I always felt really fucking bad about that.
00:54:31.840
I love when parents support their children's very niche special interests.
00:54:48.200
But I think, for me, like, I also had very special interests as a child like that, that
00:54:55.560
Like, my parents were fostering my whimsy, even though it could have been.
00:55:00.580
It could have been concerning, but I don't think it was.
00:55:03.100
Like, I think my parents were like, well, it's not murdering anyone.
00:55:09.000
So, like, one of them that I went through was the Titanic.
00:55:11.720
I was, like, obsessed with it in a way that, like, I was almost studying it as if one day
00:55:17.480
someone was going to ask me to sail a cruise ship like that.
00:55:20.520
Like, someone was one day going to ask me to pioneer it.
00:55:28.540
And I, like, I was going to the library and checking out books on the Titanic.
00:55:31.580
And, like, my mom was, I think I was in, like, fourth grade, fourth or fifth grade,
00:55:36.380
and my mom was buying me books on the Titanic, like, for kids.
00:55:39.860
The movie Anastasia did that to me for the Russian royalty.
00:55:49.220
And I was like, well, actually, if any of them would have survived, it would have been
00:55:51.160
Tatiana, not Anastasia, because all the skeletons that they found actually matched up
00:55:57.120
But Tatiana's the one that could have survived.
00:55:58.820
I also had an obsession with the Romanov family.
00:56:00.640
I had obsessions with quite a few people throughout, like, I would say European monarchy,
00:56:06.220
because, like, I was King George III once for, like, a wax museum, which, like, was so
00:56:12.480
concerning to my teacher at the time, because you were supposed to pick someone you admire.
00:56:15.920
And I did not admire him, but I did explain to her that I thought he was fascinating, because
00:56:20.920
he's one of the worst British monarchs in history.
00:56:24.120
And, like, just to be the one, like, one of them after the hundreds they've had is just
00:56:28.880
Like, girl, you with your, like, anti, like, colonization, like, ass being, like, in third
00:56:37.420
grade, like, you know, I'm going to pick George.
00:56:41.400
I've, like, tried to unpack it, and I really do think it's because the hubris of white
00:56:50.220
And I literally, when I wrote the speech, I started it with, I'm one of the worst English
00:57:00.140
And, like, I talked about how terrible of a leader I was, why I was so awful.
00:57:06.580
And I think that's why my teacher let me do it, because it wasn't in a way that was, like,
00:57:10.400
Like, I just, like, really was obsessed with white men specifically feeling so close to
00:57:16.540
God that they could do awful things, and, like, with no repercussion.
00:57:20.920
I really did think that I was, like, I find this fascinating.
00:57:23.520
Like, my Titanic thing, I was, like, telling my cousin this the other day, because I was
00:57:27.980
telling him, when I watched the movie Titanic, I, as a child, I was, like, genuinely disappointed,
00:57:34.560
because I was, like, they didn't even talk about the boat.
00:57:37.560
Like, no one's talking about the captain or the crew or the classism that's being on board.
00:57:44.940
I was, like, they didn't even talk about that stuff.
00:57:52.640
And I asked my mom, I was, like, is that story true?
00:58:16.120
But that's just because I was, like, such a know-it-all, too.
00:58:18.840
I think that was another reason I loved knowing more things than the average person.
00:58:22.760
I love that we're both just, like, curious queens.
00:58:25.640
Like, I was so endlessly curious about stuff like that.
00:58:29.100
I did have another stint about that, but this was when I was, like, my now age.
00:58:34.240
This was, like, yeah, a couple years ago when the Elvis movie came out with Austin Butler.
00:58:38.300
Like, I got really obsessed with Elvis's eating habits.
00:58:41.160
Like, I was doing a lot of research about that because he ate, like, an asshole.
00:58:48.120
But, like, I was looking up, like, cookbooks that people made based off his, like, food.
00:58:53.600
And I was looking up the research and I was looking up the doctor's, like, findings after
00:58:59.200
Because he had, like, six months worth of shit still, like, blocked up inside him because
00:59:03.420
he never drank water and, like, never ate vegetables.
00:59:06.760
So he was just eating, like, like an asshole for years, for so long.
00:59:12.580
Like, I could not stop reading stuff about it to the point where my uncle actually got
00:59:18.220
And there's, like, a pretty large chapter about the eating.
00:59:23.500
My neurodivergence is making me do this thing where when you talk about something, I have
00:59:34.340
And I think one thing that your generation needs to know more that you don't know is
00:59:38.160
that Elvis had this daughter named Lisa Marie Presley and she, she just passed away, like,
00:59:43.800
But in the early 2000s, she had this singing career and she was, like, 35 when she did it.
00:59:49.280
So she was, like, a little older than, like, these other pop divas.
00:59:54.100
And it was, like, someone turn the lights off down in Memphis.
01:00:01.040
The next line of it is That's Where My Family's Dead.
01:00:03.020
Or she's, like, that's where my family's dead and gone.
01:00:06.180
It's, like, this really, like, amazing, like, kind of intergenerational, like, haunting
01:00:10.920
anthem about, like, empowerment and, like, how hard it is for her to go back home.
01:00:18.860
And then her recording career, like, didn't really catch off after that.
01:00:25.280
Like, it was very much, like, number one, like, VH1 Top 10 Countdown.
01:00:28.520
So in 2004, I told my mom that I was going to my friend's house.
01:00:36.320
And you could drive with someone who's over 21.
01:00:38.020
And there was this girl who was in my older brother's grade.
01:00:40.340
And we wanted to go see Lisa Marie Presley at the Illinois State Fair.
01:00:43.700
But that was in Springfield, which was, like, two hours away.
01:00:46.240
So I was, like, Mom, like, me and Nikki, like, Nikki's just going to, like, I'm going to spend the night at Nikki's house.
01:00:51.100
And I'm just going to drive the car over there.
01:00:58.540
Watched Lisa Marie Presley at the Illinois State Fair.
01:01:04.640
Like, three, because it was, like, these big parking lot places.
01:01:09.440
And she was, like, okay, well, I need to use a car.
01:01:12.720
And then I can, like, drive you and Nikki back.
01:01:17.160
Because we're, and we just, like, had to make up all these lies.
01:01:20.180
And I think this might be how my mom finds out that we did steal the car and go to Springfield if she's listening to this podcast.
01:01:26.200
Well, I know your mom's a huge fan of the pod, so.
01:01:28.820
Like, Lisa Marie Presley in that concert was amazing at the Illinois State Fair.
01:01:32.520
You have had such niche interests from such a young age.
01:01:35.440
And I love that they're kind of, like, aligned.
01:01:39.700
Speaking of white people being insane, though, I saw this, like, white TikTok preacher, like, televangelist, like, on my feed the other day.
01:01:45.800
And when he was saying, I grew up in, like, a really, like, churchy, like, very conservative, like, culture and area.
01:01:52.640
And I remember my family went to this church just one time and saw this pastor that was talking much like this guy.
01:01:57.240
And he was, like, it's spiritual warfare everywhere.
01:02:00.080
And there are demons that are flying into your mouth from music videos and social media.
01:02:04.220
And the enemy is pushing you at all times with tits and temptation.
01:02:11.660
So these people literally imagine demons and angels.
01:02:14.960
Oh, he was also saying that, like, there's angels and demons, like, amongst us.
01:02:19.340
And angels won't try to fuck you, but demons will try to fuck you.
01:02:22.140
He said that, like, demons will use spiritual warfare to, like, try to fuck you.
01:02:24.640
But angels are amongst us, but they don't try to fuck you.
01:02:27.280
And he was dead serious, like, talking about this from, like, a Christian, like, evangelical, like, spiritual warfare, like, Trumpy place.
01:02:34.220
So these people literally believe that angels and demons are flying through music videos and flying through our fucking phones and shit and, like, going into people's bodies and trying to fuck them.
01:02:42.600
But don't believe that, like, trans people can exist.
01:02:45.700
And don't believe that some cultures had a third gender that was, like, legit and normal and, like, not this, like, weird.
01:02:52.720
It's, like, the shit that people can believe in evangelicalism but then can't believe science or can't believe history or can't believe these.
01:03:01.120
Like, white people, like, evangelical white people, especially in the American South.
01:03:08.080
Like, that's what I think truly, like, fascinated me about things like that.
01:03:12.580
Because a lot of the things I would hyper-fixate on, too, like, would lead to tragedy in some grand regard.
01:03:23.620
Well, and even, like, the oligarchy, like, as a whole in the UK, like, parliament, all this stuff.
01:03:28.900
The way that their system works and how they just kind of, like, they're like, this is the guy.
01:03:35.100
So, he's going to tell you what you need to be doing.
01:03:40.420
Like, I just find that general concept in a very, like, black and white, like, bare bones thing insane.
01:03:45.900
Like, why am I listening to this one fucking family, like, for generations and all of them are awful?
01:03:54.960
Like, the British monarchy is responsible for almost all of the world's problems.
01:04:00.880
So, I think that's what would fascinate me about that was infatuation.
01:04:04.820
Like, it was, like, people's just willingness to believe, like, what someone just fucking tells them.
01:04:10.200
Like, and I think I've even talked about that with my sister in regards to, like, the Pope and, like, Catholicism.
01:04:15.340
Because I find Catholicism so interesting because it's, like, this is the guy.
01:04:30.160
What was that movie last year that got, like, got nominated for...
01:04:47.760
Honestly, I think you and your fiancé should fucking watch it.
01:04:50.300
Like, have your fiancé take his shirt off, and you take your shirt off, and just cuddle
01:04:56.760
If I was you, that's what the fuck I would be doing.
01:05:04.860
And if you are triggered by, like, people shit...
01:05:08.220
That's why I said the hubris of man is fascinating to me.
01:05:16.480
And then DM me or text me and be like, you are so right.
01:05:21.540
The way that you are going to be, like, so fucking taken with it.
01:05:26.280
I don't want to overpromise, but just based off of, like, the Venn diagram of our, like,
01:05:31.420
And if your fiancé goes down on you during it, forget it.
01:05:36.300
Yeah, y'all ever get eaten out during Conclave?
01:05:37.920
Sometimes you can be, like, taken to this whole other place.
01:05:45.080
I don't know, like, what part he's going to do it on.
01:05:47.520
Because you might be like, babe, this isn't the time.
01:05:50.600
Maybe he could eat you out, and then you could watch Conclave.
01:06:23.680
Like, if you're, like, gonna watch it, I'd be, like, planned to be here for a while.
01:06:27.740
But you get to watch it at home, so that's nice.
01:06:29.520
I got invited to this birthday party tonight, but only, like, two days ago.
01:06:32.620
Which makes me feel like they didn't think about me in the first place.
01:06:34.860
And then after not getting invited to Wicked, I was, like, maybe I should just go and, like,
01:06:43.300
And so then there's, like, this dancing thing after the birthday dinner party.
01:06:46.120
And they were, like, and I'm just, like, it's, I just don't know if I have it in me
01:06:52.220
And so I think, I think I might just go to dinner and then watch Frankenstein afterwards.
01:07:03.920
Yeah, like, the theory of it sounds great, but the truth is, is that I'm 38 and it's
01:07:08.840
Tuesday and I got to go on tour this weekend and I got to do my best in Richmond and Boston
01:07:13.060
and I got to, like, I got to fucking prioritize.
01:07:19.240
I got to go in the crate and I got to put the blanket over it and no one, and it's night
01:07:27.740
And I would feel the same way about a last minute invite.
01:07:31.820
And I do think it's, like, why celebrities, like, ghost me as friends a lot.
01:07:35.700
Because, like, every time they invite me to places, I'm like...
01:07:48.640
It's making me wonder if I need to switch to sativas.
01:07:55.080
Honestly, sativa makes me feel so, like, different.
01:08:02.920
Like, because the indica makes you feel like a dart.
01:08:08.040
Like, but sativa is more of a workable high or whatever they say.
01:08:21.600
The way that I ravenously cleaned her house for two and a half hours.
01:08:25.180
Like, I became obsessed with, like, cleaning the dust boards.
01:08:30.440
Because the reason I got off sativas is because I feel like they made me really anxious.
01:08:35.940
It made me feel like my brain was going a little bit...
01:08:43.760
But then this one little dipping my toe into the sativa blunt a few weeks ago.
01:08:51.100
Because one time, I think it was, like, a drink.
01:08:56.780
And the girl that we got it from, like, at the dispensary, she was like, this is great
01:09:03.940
She's like, yeah, like, when I need to, like, really lock in and do something, I drink this
01:09:08.740
And she goes, and if you mix it with, like, an energy drink, it's even better.
01:09:15.280
So then I went home, and I did that, and I cleaned my entire closet.
01:09:27.340
I felt like I was moving a million miles an hour.
01:09:33.220
My favorite auntie got into my refrigerator and drank one of those weed drinks.
01:09:38.180
And then I found her in the guest bedroom in, like, the shape of, like, when someone gets
01:09:43.220
murdered and they draw, like, the outline of someone.
01:09:45.480
She was, like, face down, and her shoes were still on.
01:09:55.340
And, like, I didn't tell her to drink it, but it incapacitated her.
01:09:58.980
She, like, I had to check her to make sure she wasn't dead.
01:10:02.580
I, like, moved her head to the side so she could breathe.
01:10:05.500
I do want to say, before we wrap, I do want to tell this story, because when I was on
01:10:09.320
your show last, when I was last time I was in New York, or, like, actually, it was a
01:10:12.820
few times before that, you were, like, let's go smoke after.
01:10:22.700
And as we were smoking, I hit your J at one point, and I had to cough so bad.
01:10:29.520
And I was literally telling those after we left, we parted ways.
01:10:32.480
Because I was, like, while you were, like, while you were talking to me, and I remember
01:10:36.900
at one point, I was, like, I'm going to freak out, because I have to cough so loud, but I
01:10:40.920
And then you were, like, I remember you looking at me, you go, are you okay?
01:10:47.580
Drew, have you ever need to dislodge a loogie or, like, cough it out in front of me?
01:10:53.820
I knew you would, but it was more so that I was going to cough for 20 minutes, and I didn't-
01:10:58.020
You're just, like, trying to let me, like, stop talking?
01:10:59.260
Well, no, you know how it's one of those where it's, like, oh, my God, I'm so annoying,
01:11:08.620
And I've told that story, but I didn't say who it was.
01:11:11.240
I was, like, I was smoking with my friend, and I was, like-
01:11:14.660
And you know what's funny is you were sharing tea with me, bitch.
01:11:20.640
Yeah, but then I was, like, like, looking at you, because I was, like, this is the craziest
01:11:27.320
story I've ever heard, and I can't even emote to it, because I'm going to pass out.
01:11:32.000
No, I literally was, like, when I walked back over to my family, we were, like, bye, bye,
01:11:48.840
I think I need to start smoking different weed.
01:11:50.400
I got high with this girl that I met at a party the other day, and she literally just,
01:11:54.680
Like, she was, like, nice to me, and she's passed out in my arms, like, on the side of
01:11:58.100
And I had to, like, get her a Pepsi and, like, sit with her.
01:12:00.440
And she was, like, sorry, I did the hair for, like, three fashion shows today, and I
01:12:03.800
And then I drank a bunch of alcohol, and then I got high with you.
01:12:08.700
But I was, like, my husband was, like, I think we need to get, like, less strong joints for when
01:12:20.180
That's why I felt like, I just felt like I hated, like, a newbie.
01:12:29.740
And honestly, I don't think this is necessary, but if anyone, if, like, two people haven't
01:12:34.620
ever seen you and don't know where to find you, where can they find you?
01:12:42.620
And our Monday edit is more of, like, it's, like, the news, TikTok, pop culture.
01:12:47.580
It's, like, me and my producer from the podcast, Chris, who I was talking about.
01:12:51.000
So, it's on Mondays, and then we have Getting Better on Wednesdays.
01:12:55.360
And I'm on tour if you need a new comedian to come see.
01:13:03.420
Thank you all so much for joining us on this episode of the comments section.
01:13:06.060
Don't forget, new episodes drop every Wednesday.
01:13:08.080
You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, but the video lives for free
01:13:11.160
and exclusively on our favorite platform, Spotify.
01:13:15.440
Thank you so much to all of you, and I'll see you next week.