The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - YOUR TOOLS ARE BROKEN Ft. Mercury Stardust

00:00:00.000 Ontario, the wait is over! The gold standard of online casinos has arrived! Golden Nugget Online Casino is live, bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips.

00:00:12.560 Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and simple. And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top-tier table games.

00:00:23.420 Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn any mundane moment into a golden opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino.

00:00:33.100 Take a spin on the slots, challenge yourself at the tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices.

00:00:41.780 Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino?

00:00:46.760 Gambling problem? Call ConnexOntario, 1-866-531-2600.

00:00:52.280 19 and over. Physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply.

00:00:56.180 See GoldenNuggetCasino.com for details. Please play responsibly.

00:00:59.940 I'll be honest, whenever I talk to a mechanic, I'm always wearing dirty overalls.

00:01:03.700 You should be.

00:01:04.280 I always show up.

00:01:05.640 Establishing dominance. I like that.

00:01:07.600 I'm a butch as fuck. 0.99

00:01:10.260 Like, that day, I'm just like, I'm gonna bind my chest, and I'm gonna pull back my hair, and I'm gonna walk around, 0.99

00:01:15.380 and I'm gonna, hey, how's it going, Hank?

00:01:17.740 It's the only time I'm okay.

00:01:19.320 You code switch?

00:01:19.860 Yeah, it's the only time that I'm okay with being perceived as a man.

00:01:22.360 I'm gonna take up as much space as possible and be like, hey, yeah, women, right? 1.00

00:01:28.320 I hate them, too. 0.99

00:01:29.440 Yeah, go on.

00:01:37.400 Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section Show, starring me, your fave, everyone knows me, who cares about me.

00:01:43.760 Hey, on to the guests.

00:01:45.420 Today, we have the iconic, the legendary, the hilarious, the amazing, Mercury Stardust.

00:01:50.700 Woo! 0.99

00:01:52.420 Yeah, woo's for me.

00:01:54.800 Welcome to the show, babe.

00:01:56.200 Thank you for having me.

00:01:57.320 Oh, my gosh, I'm honored to have you.

00:01:58.840 Been dying to have you, but you're too busy, and you live in the Midwest.

00:02:01.740 Yeah, I sadly do.

00:02:03.660 I sadly do.

00:02:04.620 No, but you're a star in your hometown.

00:02:06.180 I am a star.

00:02:07.200 It's nice to be a ginormous fish in a very tiny pond sometimes.

00:02:11.480 It's like, I'm taking up all the space, you know?

00:02:14.700 I'm so excited to have you.

00:02:16.060 Me and Mercury have been friends for a long time.

00:02:19.860 We go way back, you and I.

00:02:20.960 Yep.

00:02:21.560 But I would love for everyone who isn't familiar with your lore, I would love for them to know about your journey, like how you got on TikTok, like what made you want to start posting in the first place, how you became the trans handyman of the internet.

00:02:34.000 Well, it was an accident.

00:02:34.920 As most platforms are, I feel like.

00:02:38.020 Mine was, too.

00:02:38.680 Mine was a real accident, though.

00:02:41.120 Like, I was fixing a toilet, and I put the toilet through a wall.

00:02:46.660 Really?

00:02:47.300 Yeah, so what happened was I was doing maintenance for a property management company, and I put my tool bag by my feet, and then I took the toilet off of its wax ring, and then I went to go turn after I was holding the toilet.

00:03:02.140 And that toilet then was projected into the wall and smashed the living hell out of it.

00:03:08.280 And I put a hole through the drywall, and I was so upset.

00:03:12.660 I was having the worst day.

00:03:13.980 Yeah. 0.77

00:03:14.420 And then I went on TikTok, covered in someone else's poo. 0.65

00:03:17.820 Oh, my God. 0.75

00:03:18.780 That's crazy.

00:03:19.640 And then I just posted a video to try to help someone because I wanted to actually solve a problem that day.

00:03:25.920 Make sure they didn't have that issue of poop on them from a toilet. 0.97

00:03:29.420 So it generally did happen from, like, an accident. 0.99

00:03:31.840 I do not know if I would have been on TikTok that day if it wasn't for that very stupid thing I did.

00:03:37.120 So when did you – was that your first video to, like, really go viral or just the first one you ever posted?

00:03:42.860 I was only on TikTok for, like, two weeks prior to that happening, and I think it was, like, one of five videos I ever posted, period.

00:03:49.320 Yeah.

00:03:50.180 Well, so when you – first of all, how long have you been in, like, maintenance and everything?

00:03:54.340 Like, how long have you been working on things?

00:03:57.640 I've been working on things for a long time.

00:03:59.120 Like, me not knowing anything.

00:04:00.100 I have 17 years.

00:04:02.960 Oh, okay.

00:04:03.600 I have, like, a dozen or so, like, certifications, and I work with industrial companies, construction companies.

00:04:13.360 Any way I could get a bill, you know what I mean?

00:04:15.460 I got to make sure I paid the bills.

00:04:17.860 And then I did burlesque and drag as well.

00:04:19.900 Yes, I did know that.

00:04:21.020 I was going to ask about your burlesque journey.

00:04:23.740 How did that come about?

00:04:25.120 Oh, that came up – that was, like, the back door as well.

00:04:27.440 I was, like, just performing in gay bars as a little twink back in the day, and people would be, like, you'd be so good as a burlesque entertainer, and I was, like, sure.

00:04:38.160 I don't know what that is.

00:04:40.540 Sure.

00:04:41.180 And then I would Google it, and then I was, like, oh, I could perform half-naked for strangers.

00:04:46.600 So I did that. 0.94

00:04:48.020 So on the weekends, I would get – I would show my butt to a bunch of people I will never meet again, and then I would fix their toilets, you know? 0.94

00:04:55.380 And they would have no idea. 0.96

00:04:56.800 Yeah.

00:04:57.100 You'd be like Clark Kent, Superman, you know what I mean?

00:04:59.920 Yeah.

00:05:00.240 Put your glasses on, they can't recognize you. 0.65

00:05:01.400 A very sexy, naked, but holding a plunger, Clark Kent. 0.72

00:05:05.200 There you go. 0.95

00:05:05.900 A very capable one.

00:05:07.020 Yeah.

00:05:07.320 You have way more skills than Clark Kent.

00:05:08.680 I did do a lot of burlesque numbers with plungers, though.

00:05:12.060 Did you really?

00:05:12.500 I used to juggle plungers on stage.

00:05:15.020 Really?

00:05:15.500 Like, actually juggle them?

00:05:16.440 Yes, which is very difficult, by the way.

00:05:18.600 Well, yeah.

00:05:19.460 It's difficult to juggle just regular balls.

00:05:21.860 I can't even imagine juggling plungers.

00:05:23.660 Yeah, trying to juggle anything with a stick.

00:05:25.440 Like, it's pretty hard. 0.99

00:05:28.160 Damn, that's crazy. 0.94

00:05:30.340 So when you started making your content, like, what led you to want to start? 0.99

00:05:34.500 Was it, like, comments of, like, hey, how do I fix this in my home or how do I do this?

00:05:38.580 Because as someone who has literally no skill at all when it comes to any sort of maintenance

00:05:43.300 around the house, the car, plumbing, anything like that, I myself feel very useless.

00:05:48.400 That was a big reason why I loved your content in the beginning was because it's so helpful

00:05:52.400 in many different ways. 0.99

00:05:53.700 And men, like, particularly cis, straight, awful men, love to make anyone else feel so fucking 1.00

00:06:00.560 stupid for not knowing how to do things. 1.00

00:06:02.740 For real. 1.00

00:06:03.440 Like, whatever they consider maintenance or upkeep or on the house, cars, whatever.

00:06:06.840 This industry is loaded with those men.

00:06:09.100 It's like the industry, that status quo is people talking down to you.

00:06:13.500 So, like, I always call myself, like, a trauma-informed maintenance technician, right?

00:06:18.440 So, like, I understand what it's like to have someone belittle you.

00:06:22.380 I understand what it's like to, like, feel like you're not even worth picking up a tool.

00:06:26.840 Yeah.

00:06:27.300 So, like, I just led with that.

00:06:29.020 And it really was resonating with people.

00:06:30.980 But I didn't think it was going to resonate with people.

00:06:33.180 Yeah.

00:06:33.620 You know, I did that first video and I started by saying, hello, I'm the intersectional,

00:06:38.940 I'm the maintenance, intersectional, feminist lady or something. 0.94

00:06:43.140 I don't think I remember what it was.

00:06:44.220 It was like, it took me 22 seconds to introduce myself in a minute-long video.

00:06:49.520 Yeah, I got a lot of titles.

00:06:50.640 Yeah, exactly.

00:06:51.540 And then eventually I figured out that trans handyman is way more catchy.

00:06:55.840 It rolls off the tongue a lot easier.

00:06:57.780 Yeah, it's a good branding.

00:06:58.680 It's good branding.

00:06:58.860 Totally.

00:06:59.860 Absolutely.

00:07:00.600 And you need that.

00:07:01.400 Yeah.

00:07:01.700 Especially as a content creator.

00:07:02.980 100.

00:07:03.780 But I don't know if I would have been able to kind of, like, link onto that if it wasn't

00:07:09.700 for just people keeping asking questions.

00:07:11.940 Totally.

00:07:12.340 People being in need to kind of light the problems, you know?

00:07:16.020 Yeah, absolutely.

00:07:17.020 I didn't know to make the content for it because I've been doing this for so long.

00:07:20.440 I didn't know what people didn't know.

00:07:22.260 Yeah, absolutely.

00:07:23.160 You know, like, I didn't know door hinges were an issue.

00:07:25.760 I didn't know garbage disposals were going to be so big.

00:07:28.820 Yeah.

00:07:29.300 A lot of tub clogs.

00:07:30.900 I was going to ask, like, what's the most common, like, problem around the house that

00:07:35.200 you get asked about?

00:07:36.240 I would say garbage disposals are right up there, right behind clogs.

00:07:40.620 Oh, yeah.

00:07:41.300 Yeah, those two.

00:07:42.160 And there's, like, 500 different ways to unclog something.

00:07:45.380 So there's always endless content for it, you know?

00:07:48.720 Oh, and toilets. 1.00

00:07:49.720 Anything with a toilet.

00:07:50.680 Loose toilet seat.

00:07:51.920 You know, all the guts inside of a toilet.

00:07:54.720 Yeah.

00:07:55.140 Fun stuff.

00:07:55.740 This is stuff that's really sexy.

00:07:57.300 Oh, yeah.

00:07:57.620 The amount of times, though, I've had to call my dad and be like, I don't know what's wrong

00:08:02.440 with this thing. 0.98

00:08:03.320 Like, even my toilet, my drain, like, and I feel like the stupidest person alive, and 0.99

00:08:08.900 that makes me feel too vulnerable. 0.96

00:08:10.940 So that's why I always have to call someone I know instead of hiring someone.

00:08:14.060 Yeah.

00:08:14.320 I just call someone I do know.

00:08:15.860 It's generally hard to, like, feel vulnerable and feel like you don't know the answers.

00:08:20.680 Oh, absolutely.

00:08:21.260 And I'm a Virgo, and I don't like not knowing friends.

00:08:23.540 So, like, I hate that.

00:08:24.820 Yeah, and I'm a Sagittarius, so everything's got to be about me, you know?

00:08:28.260 Fire sign.

00:08:28.800 So it works out really well.

00:08:30.340 I will make the old maintenance about me, and then you will make sure that you ask me

00:08:34.800 all the questions.

00:08:35.540 There you go.

00:08:36.100 It's perfect.

00:08:36.780 And obviously, you're a huge activist as well.

00:08:39.220 Yeah.

00:08:39.420 So I would love to know how you started marrying the two, because I know you're very passionate

00:08:43.080 about your activism, and you've done so many fundraisers on Lives with Rory.

00:08:47.500 Jory.

00:08:48.220 Jory.

00:08:48.580 Jory.

00:08:49.080 Obviously, Jory.

00:08:50.080 Alluring Skull, for those of you that don't know.

00:08:51.600 But y'all have raised so much money for trans people and transgender-affirming care, and

00:08:57.080 I would just love to know how you married those two. 0.66

00:08:59.700 You know what's wild is everything stems back from burlesque.

00:09:02.820 Like, I did burlesque for, like, 15 years, but when I was doing burlesque, a lot of the

00:09:08.920 community is about activism.

00:09:10.520 The community is about individuality.

00:09:13.160 It's about sex workers' rights. 0.98

00:09:15.180 It's about basically all the marginalized communities coming together to express ourselves in an

00:09:20.980 art form that makes us feel like we're in our own skin, right?

00:09:23.680 Yeah, totally.

00:09:24.280 So because of that, you're kind of around people who are trying to actively make a difference.

00:09:28.440 Like, a lot of the people that I worked with on a daily basis were involved with huge social

00:09:33.600 movements of some kind, and a lot of them would do charity funds, you know, tits for tots kind

00:09:39.960 of mentality, you know, or raising money to help kids and et cetera.

00:09:44.240 But then you also get a lot of people who are expressing themselves as a trans person or a

00:09:48.620 non-binary person.

00:09:49.940 So when I was doing burlesque, I was, like, looking for something that made sense to me

00:09:55.120 to try to help, and gender-affirming care was, like, the number one thing.

00:09:59.080 Yeah.

00:09:59.620 So after I came out as a trans lady, then I was, like, I'm going to raise money for

00:10:04.240 other people's surgeries, and that's kind of how it led to that.

00:10:07.420 It was, like, born.

00:10:08.140 Yeah.

00:10:08.660 So naturally, when I got a platform in front of me, I was, like, I'm going to do the same 0.99

00:10:13.120 thing, but this time, I'm not going to show my butt. 0.98

00:10:16.420 Now I don't have to unless I want to. 0.99

00:10:18.100 Yeah, exactly.

00:10:19.800 I think that's so beautiful, what you and Jory do together, especially, like, going live for

00:10:25.560 24, 48 hours straight. 1.00

00:10:28.120 So stupid. 1.00

00:10:28.880 What was that experience like when you first did it? 1.00

00:10:31.120 How did that come about first?

00:10:32.340 Like, I mean, at least going nonstop for 24 hours.

00:10:34.940 So I really, when I first started doing content, I was, like, I need to suffer in order for

00:10:40.660 people to want to take me seriously.

00:10:42.820 So I was, like, if I do something really dumb, like, if I'm in front of a camera for 24 hours,

00:10:49.100 people are going to give me money.

00:10:51.000 And I was, like, we'll just do it.

00:10:52.400 We'll give it a try.

00:10:53.040 So originally, I was going for $24,000 in 24 hours.

00:10:56.220 The first day that we did that, which was three years ago, we raised, like, $24,000 in

00:11:02.540 the first four hours.

00:11:03.460 Wow.

00:11:03.980 So then we had to switch it to $50,000 and then switch it to $100,000.

00:11:08.620 But that last hour, we raised, like, $50,000 on our own.

00:11:12.540 And then we realized that's how we do this.

00:11:15.100 We raised this money by putting, you know, a needless goal there or, like, a deadline

00:11:21.540 that doesn't really exist.

00:11:23.420 It's, like, arbitrary.

00:11:24.360 Yeah.

00:11:24.620 And then we just, like, rush it towards the end.

00:11:27.420 And then the closer we get to that deadline, the more intense it becomes.

00:11:31.500 Yeah, totally.

00:11:32.480 And that's the way we've been kind of able to do that.

00:11:36.340 It's not easy.

00:11:37.880 Yeah, no.

00:11:38.700 I can only imagine.

00:11:39.680 The longest we've done it, I think, is, like, maybe 45 hours straight I've been in front

00:11:44.940 of the camera.

00:11:45.580 That's crazy.

00:11:46.220 And that's what, this most recent one, we were having a really hard time because we were

00:11:50.220 banned 14 times.

00:11:51.920 I know.

00:11:52.460 I know.

00:11:53.340 Literally, Jory messaged me and I immediately reached out to my friend at TikTok because I

00:11:58.120 was like, okay, I need to help.

00:11:59.300 I need to help.

00:11:59.920 Yeah.

00:12:00.240 Wherever I can.

00:12:00.820 And she was very helpful, too.

00:12:02.300 She kept checking on y'all all night.

00:12:03.780 That's so nice to hear because it's so, it was so lonely in this, like, we were in my

00:12:09.300 little production studio in Tropical Madison, Wisconsin, and trying our best to figure out

00:12:14.860 what to do.

00:12:15.740 We had people watching it as a live audience, and we had my friends and my family watching

00:12:20.540 it in the studio.

00:12:21.980 And the first, like, couple hours while we were getting banned was so devastating.

00:12:26.200 I know.

00:12:26.700 I can only imagine.

00:12:26.920 I felt like I got punched in the gut.

00:12:29.060 Well, to happen right when you start is just so upsetting for so many reasons.

00:12:33.820 Was it just false reports, I'm assuming?

00:12:35.160 It was a lot of false reports.

00:12:37.080 Because people are evil.

00:12:38.180 And I kept getting my lives back, but Jory was not giving her lives back at all.

00:12:42.240 Yeah, I don't.

00:12:43.000 So it was very difficult.

00:12:45.300 And Jory is always treated differently than I'm treated differently.

00:12:49.600 And it's so obvious that there's a lot of race attached to it.

00:12:53.260 Absolutely, yeah.

00:12:54.220 It's frustrating.

00:12:55.080 People always misinterpret how Jory is trying to help others and uplift people.

00:13:01.140 I know.

00:13:01.520 It's very frustrating.

00:13:02.400 It's very annoying.

00:13:03.300 And I'm curious, like, what's been the response from the trans community?

00:13:08.920 Like, when y'all do this every year, you do it all the time.

00:13:11.080 You do it, and Jory does it all the time.

00:13:13.260 Yeah.

00:13:13.540 But especially in these huge, like, milestone moments.

00:13:15.900 Like, I'm sure it's been really cool to see for the trans community especially.

00:13:20.260 I think that it can uplift a lot of us.

00:13:22.260 I think that, like, we don't – there's, like, 500-plus anti-trans bills that have been tried to have been passed across the country.

00:13:29.520 I know.

00:13:29.860 That's a scary time for us.

00:13:31.320 No, for that.

00:13:31.600 You know?

00:13:32.300 The more we're in public eye, the less hope we have sometimes, I think.

00:13:35.640 Yeah.

00:13:35.800 Like, we're constantly talked about but never talked to.

00:13:38.960 So, I think that the fundraiser, especially because now it's on Trains Day of Visibility, I think that it kind of gives us a celebration to look forward to every year.

00:13:49.620 Yeah.

00:13:49.920 I hope that as we grow it, it can become more of a celebration and a party and less of, like, please give us money.

00:13:57.460 Oh, my God.

00:13:58.220 We need your help.

00:13:59.040 I know.

00:13:59.420 As if y'all aren't doing so much emotional labor all the time already.

00:14:02.780 This year, when we were trying to do it, we only raised 1.4 originally.

00:14:07.160 And then I was on live stream for two days straight sleeping, basically.

00:14:13.140 And that's how we raised the rest.

00:14:15.300 So, yeah.

00:14:16.500 You are so committed.

00:14:18.120 I commend you.

00:14:19.340 I watched Princess Bride while I was on live.

00:14:23.020 And the audience was like, are you still raising money?

00:14:25.280 I was like, yeah, kind of.

00:14:26.880 Yeah, girl. 0.99

00:14:27.820 I mean, yeah.

00:14:29.160 I was on live a total of 90 hours this year to do it.

00:14:32.980 That's crazy, girl. 0.99

00:14:33.860 You're crazy. 0.98

00:14:34.960 But I commend you for being so passionate about taking care of the trans community, especially now. 0.98

00:14:42.860 I think what you said is so profound about, like, you're always talked about but never talked to.

00:14:47.240 That's so profound.

00:14:48.160 And it's very, very frustrating to me when I see people, they make transness about themselves. 1.00

00:14:55.620 Like, they're like, this bothers me.

00:14:56.940 As if trans people haven't been around for hundreds of thousands of years.

00:15:00.080 Yeah, it's wild to me that it's socially acceptable to say that trans people make you uncomfortable.

00:15:05.680 I know.

00:15:06.140 You know what I mean?

00:15:06.860 I know.

00:15:07.440 Like, oh, I don't.

00:15:08.040 They make me uncomfortable.

00:15:09.460 Like, okay.

00:15:10.340 Well, that's a weird thing to admit out loud.

00:15:12.180 Yeah.

00:15:12.540 Yeah.

00:15:12.900 And to say out loud.

00:15:14.360 Yeah.

00:15:14.380 Okay.

00:15:14.800 Well, Brad, you make me uncomfortable, so thank you.

00:15:17.760 Do you think I feel comfortable having heard that?

00:15:20.060 Yeah, exactly.

00:15:21.480 Yeah.

00:15:21.680 I'll never understand.

00:15:22.860 I always tell people to sit with a discomfort.

00:15:25.060 I mean, we know that when we are working out and we're trying to do, like, physical activities, that pain means that we're gaining strength, right?

00:15:34.000 Yeah.

00:15:34.300 Why is it when it comes to changing our views on things or trying to gain knowledge on something, when it starts hurting, we stop?

00:15:42.040 Yeah, give up.

00:15:42.880 Yeah.

00:15:43.180 If it's uncomfortable, baby, keep trying. 1.00

00:15:45.760 Put down the dumb balls and pick up a book. 1.00

00:15:48.560 For real. 1.00

00:15:49.660 Tell them, bitch. 1.00

00:15:50.500 The way that I'm, like, do you know how, like, especially when you talk about something as simple as pronouns, right? 1.00

00:15:56.260 When I, that seems to stump the most, like, alt-right person and they get so angry about it.

00:16:02.580 And I always say, like, do you know how bigoted you have to be in your everyday life for that to be a challenge?

00:16:07.640 To be like, well, that's just my everyday talk.

00:16:10.080 How am I supposed to talk to anyone at that point?

00:16:11.700 Yeah.

00:16:12.380 I don't know.

00:16:13.140 It's really not that hard.

00:16:14.360 And most of the time, it's three options.

00:16:17.320 I know.

00:16:17.640 That's like, there's only three.

00:16:18.940 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:19.360 It's okay.

00:16:19.800 And there's way more than that, right?

00:16:21.620 But most of the time, they're bringing up how they isn't appropriate.

00:16:25.500 I'm like, come on.

00:16:26.000 You use it all the time.

00:16:26.740 You literally use it constantly.

00:16:29.120 All the time.

00:16:29.680 They call me theys for fun.

00:16:31.600 You know what I mean?

00:16:32.860 So I don't know why.

00:16:34.180 Me too.

00:16:34.700 I don't know why it's so, yeah.

00:16:36.420 I'll never understand.

00:16:37.800 And it's also so, it makes even less sense to me when they're like, well, all these new pronouns, all these blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:16:43.720 When they complain about that shit, I'm like, you don't ever hang out with trans people. 0.99

00:16:48.280 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:48.480 You'll be fine.

00:16:49.420 Yeah.

00:16:49.620 Like, you don't have to worry, girl.

00:16:51.320 Like, you're never going to have these problems because you refuse to hang out with anyone that's not like you.

00:16:55.820 None of us are going to cross the street to hang out with you.

00:16:59.140 They swear.

00:17:00.660 We're not going to see that guy across the street go, I want to hang out with that stranger.

00:17:04.660 You're like, I don't care how much he hates me.

00:17:06.700 I want to be friends.

00:17:07.460 Yeah, exactly.

00:17:08.700 And I've said before, because I've had so many trans friends, and I've had so many guests on the show that are trans as well.

00:17:15.520 And every time we talk about it, I'm like, you have no idea how much. 0.99

00:17:18.300 They just want you to leave them the fuck alone. 0.99

00:17:20.180 Like, literally just leave them alone. 1.00

00:17:21.980 Like, they're not asking for anything other than to leave us the fuck alone. 0.99

00:17:27.320 Yeah. 0.99

00:17:27.460 Like, let us live our lives, and you go live yours, and it can be boring and fucking cookie cutter, and you can do that. 0.98

00:17:33.300 I just want to fix drywall. 0.98

00:17:34.740 Yeah.

00:17:35.620 Cool.

00:17:36.300 I just want to fix drywall and hang out with my cats, okay?

00:17:40.200 Yeah.

00:17:40.420 I do not need your opinion about every single aspect about me.

00:17:45.040 No, for real.

00:17:45.660 And that leads me to my next question, because you know so much.

00:17:49.600 First of all, you're so incredibly intellectual, just in general, but specifically about maintenance, because like you said, you've been doing it for years.

00:17:56.880 And obviously, that's an extremely male-dominated industry.

00:17:59.880 And I'm so curious how that experience has been like for you in the workplace, but also obviously online, because there's always hate online from the worst people in the world.

00:18:06.600 But I feel like men feel really sunned by you, because of your vast knowledge.

00:18:11.520 Yeah.

00:18:11.840 Like, they feel real intimidated by that, I'm sure.

00:18:14.520 Oh, they always feel a need to nitpick everything. 1.00

00:18:16.880 Yeah, like try to correct you, catch you on shit. 1.00

00:18:19.040 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:18:19.200 It'd be as dumb as like, you're picking up the hammer around, you know what I mean? 0.94

00:18:24.100 Or they'll say stuff that just isn't true sometimes, too. 0.98

00:18:28.000 Yeah, it's just an outright lie.

00:18:28.900 Yeah, they'll just be like, you know that's an impact driver.

00:18:31.600 And you're like, no, that's actually not an impact driver, but okay.

00:18:35.100 You have never seen an impact driver.

00:18:38.320 You're like, no, it's not.

00:18:39.680 And they're like, whatever.

00:18:41.360 Whatever.

00:18:42.020 You shouldn't be here.

00:18:42.840 So, yeah, they have such an unprecedented amount of confidence, like the way that they

00:18:48.440 truly believe just because they identify as a man that they're inherently more knowledgeable

00:18:52.600 about all things.

00:18:53.960 Yeah.

00:18:54.140 It's insane.

00:18:55.240 That's it's absolutely wild.

00:18:56.780 Yeah.

00:18:57.060 Those are the same men who would be on a job site with me that everyone would be talking 0.99

00:19:01.160 shit about. 0.99

00:19:03.260 The men who are the lot. 1.00

00:19:04.720 See, here's the thing.

00:19:05.240 The best men on a job site don't care about your gender. 0.97

00:19:08.660 Yeah.

00:19:08.860 And they don't act like that.

00:19:09.760 Yeah, they don't care if they want the job to get done correctly, and they're more worried

00:19:13.100 about the red tape they have to cross in order to get the job done correctly than they're

00:19:17.220 worrying about what's between your legs.

00:19:19.060 Yeah.

00:19:19.600 It's absolutely wild to me.

00:19:21.300 The men who try to take up all the space are always the men that are the smallest men.

00:19:26.580 You know what I mean?

00:19:27.260 And know the least.

00:19:28.360 Yes.

00:19:28.680 Like, they're the least qualified, the least knowledgeable, but the loudest.

00:19:32.900 They learned something like 25 years ago, and they held on to that, that's what it's

00:19:38.240 supposed to be.

00:19:39.300 Oh, no, no, no.

00:19:40.560 You're supposed to hold a drill like this because my dad told me that you're supposed to, and

00:19:46.220 if it isn't true, I'm going to cry.

00:19:48.240 You know what I mean?

00:19:49.040 So insecure constantly.

00:19:51.740 Totally.

00:19:52.160 And they make it your problem.

00:19:53.380 Yeah, 100%.

00:19:54.140 When they're extremely insecure about that.

00:19:55.700 Yeah.

00:19:55.860 That's how I feel.

00:19:56.460 I feel like other than home maintenance in general, cars are where I know especially

00:20:01.040 nothing.

00:20:02.020 So whenever there's any problem with my car, I feel so annoyed because I have to go to

00:20:07.240 the mechanic or something, and I'm going to have to listen to a man talk at me and talk 0.91

00:20:11.700 down to me.

00:20:12.240 Oh, it makes me so mad.

00:20:13.220 And when you're doing home maintenance or getting something repaired in your house, you

00:20:17.300 can have multiple contractors come over.

00:20:19.240 But when you are going to the mechanic, you are going out of your comfort zone into their

00:20:24.640 comfort zone.

00:20:25.360 And it's so easy to get people to lean on you and make you feel like you have to do

00:20:30.820 this thing right now and spend $2,000 on a $50 fix.

00:20:35.480 And it's one of the many reasons my dad or my boyfriend, they just take it for me because

00:20:41.380 I'm just like, I don't want to deal with it. 0.98

00:20:42.920 And that sucks that I can't fucking do that. 0.95

00:20:45.280 And it's because I, well, again, me being a Virgo, I hate not knowing things. 0.99

00:20:49.040 And I was like, when they talked to me about the car, I feel like what misogynists believe 1.00

00:20:52.240 all women to be, which is just the stupidest bitch alive. 1.00

00:20:55.380 And so when they talked to me, I'm like, I'll tell you what I know about this car. 1.00

00:20:57.480 It's gray.

00:20:58.460 That's all I know.

00:20:59.220 It's gray.

00:20:59.520 I got four tires.

00:21:00.120 That's all I really know.

00:21:01.180 I got nothing else past that.

00:21:02.340 I'll be honest.

00:21:02.880 Whenever I talk to a mechanic, I'm always wearing dirty overalls.

00:21:06.100 You should be.

00:21:06.620 I always show up.

00:21:08.140 Establishing dominance.

00:21:09.220 I like that. 1.00

00:21:10.000 I'm a butch as fuck. 1.00

00:21:11.480 Like, that day, I'm just like, I'm going to bind my chest and I'm going to pull back my 1.00

00:21:16.780 hair and I'm going to walk around.

00:21:18.060 Hey, how's it going, Hank?

00:21:19.200 You know?

00:21:20.060 It's the only time I'm okay.

00:21:21.620 You code switch?

00:21:22.200 Yeah.

00:21:22.380 It's the only time that I'm okay with being perceived as a man.

00:21:24.580 I'm going to take up as much space as possible and be like, hey, yeah, women, right? 1.00

00:21:30.540 I hate them, too. 0.99

00:21:31.800 Yeah, God.

00:21:33.820 Okay, pivoting back to TikTok.

00:21:36.160 I'm sure you get the same, if not more, hate than I do.

00:21:40.220 Like, the same level of vitriol.

00:21:41.920 What's it been like dealing with that for you?

00:21:44.180 I don't know.

00:21:44.860 I think it's sometimes harder from our own communities.

00:21:48.200 Like, I think that I'm so used to men being like, you're a man.

00:21:53.580 I get that, too.

00:21:55.840 Oh, I love when people tell me that I can tell, you know, saying that I don't pass.

00:22:00.800 And I'm like, do you think I'm attempting to pass? 0.99

00:22:03.820 Shut up! 1.00

00:22:04.940 What? 1.00

00:22:05.540 You can tell I'm trans?

00:22:07.500 Was it the fact that I told you I'm trans?

00:22:09.600 Yeah, is it the fact that I'm called a trans handyman?

00:22:12.840 Is that what gave it away?

00:22:13.960 Yeah, I'm sorry, honey.

00:22:15.760 How did you figure it out?

00:22:17.040 How did you pop that question?

00:22:18.320 Oh, my gosh.

00:22:18.960 How did he crack the case?

00:22:20.240 But what gets me is sometimes the microaggressions from the people who think they love me, right?

00:22:26.820 Yep, yep, yep.

00:22:27.460 The big, loudest supporters, right?

00:22:31.160 And sometimes they'll say something that's inadvertently very cutting.

00:22:35.300 Or they'll say something that brings me down a peg or two.

00:22:39.300 I totally know what you mean because I've said the only hate that ever really bothers me comes from the communities that I feel so driven to protect and take care of.

00:22:49.340 And so, like, when they post things that are either, like, it's almost, like, too familiar or over-familiar to the point where it's rude and disrespectful.

00:22:57.180 Or if it's, like, supposed to be criticism, but it's really just hate.

00:23:01.460 Yeah.

00:23:01.580 It's, like, mass.

00:23:02.540 Those are the only things that really bother me.

00:23:04.380 And how often are those projections?

00:23:06.220 Yeah.

00:23:06.580 Exactly.

00:23:06.600 Like, how often is it, like, they're mad at us for taking up a space that they wish that they could often be in?

00:23:13.180 Exactly, too.

00:23:13.600 And I, like, I understand the responsibility that, like, I inhabit now.

00:23:19.020 Yeah.

00:23:19.620 But, like, also, I just started answering questions about drywall.

00:23:23.900 Do you know what I mean?

00:23:24.680 Yeah, I know.

00:23:25.380 So I am learning how to be the best version of me so I can help the most people.

00:23:29.880 Absolutely.

00:23:30.580 In real time.

00:23:31.500 Absolutely. 0.89

00:23:32.120 And I think that sometimes it sucks when you see other trans people being, like, you're not really trans.

00:23:38.080 You know what I mean?

00:23:38.680 Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

00:23:40.200 Yeah, if you haven't had this surgery, then you're not this.

00:23:42.780 A trans medicalist, you know, in the comment section is really rough sometimes.

00:23:46.420 Well, and it's also, like, who is that helping?

00:23:50.060 Yeah.

00:23:50.260 You know what I mean?

00:23:50.660 Like, there's so few of us already, like, fighting for the same cause.

00:23:54.520 Like, we're all fighting against one big common enemy.

00:23:57.440 And that's how I feel about the many different communities I defend also, too. 0.97

00:24:02.180 But even, like, women, just people who identify as women specifically when they're really misogynistic towards me or they hate me or they say mean shit about me. 0.57

00:24:09.180 I'm always like, I'm on your side, girl. 0.74

00:24:11.520 Yeah.

00:24:12.020 I'm fighting for you.

00:24:13.500 It's wild to me.

00:24:14.480 You're like, I'm doing this for you.

00:24:16.200 It's like they started playing baseball on our team.

00:24:20.020 Yeah.

00:24:20.100 And then they went into the dugout and then went into the other dugout.

00:24:22.840 Yeah.

00:24:23.160 And they're just like, no one's going to notice.

00:24:25.380 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:26.020 They act like I'm on this team.

00:24:27.920 Exactly.

00:24:28.200 Yeah.

00:24:28.480 No one's going to tell me that I'm bad at baseball.

00:24:31.120 Yeah.

00:24:31.400 No, honey.

00:24:32.080 They're going to tell you you're bad at baseball.

00:24:34.100 Exactly.

00:24:34.700 They jump ship almost immediately, which is so upsetting.

00:24:37.200 So I totally get that because I was curious because I know, you know, the fact that you create content and you, like, hold so much space for so many different people, like, that in and of itself is such an act of protest.

00:24:50.040 Like, you stand so firmly and so bravely.

00:24:52.940 I just want to commend you for that before the end of the episode.

00:24:55.200 I think you're so brave and so courageous.

00:24:57.200 I have you fooled.

00:24:57.900 You are, though.

00:25:00.380 You still show up, but that's the hardest part, especially when you come from a marginalized group.

00:25:04.360 It's like showing up is the hardest part.

00:25:06.620 I think, Drew, it's 100% the community that has surrounded me.

00:25:10.420 You know how this is with your family and everything.

00:25:12.540 Totally.

00:25:12.720 You have an amazing support group.

00:25:14.700 Yeah.

00:25:15.000 I have an amazing support group, too.

00:25:16.380 I love that.

00:25:16.940 It's no way the first person I ever raised money for for gender affirming care is literally in this room with us right now.

00:25:24.520 And like we started there.

00:25:26.540 We helped them with their top surgery and we just kept going.

00:25:29.660 And the people who have helped are often in my corner still helping me get to the next stage.

00:25:35.340 Totally.

00:25:36.000 Even when I've I'm sure you've gotten this, too, because you've been doing this for as long as I have, too.

00:25:40.040 Like whenever you meet new creators, like up and coming creators and they ask you for like any sort of tips or advice, a lot of times when they ask me, I tell them to like surround themselves with community in real life, too.

00:25:51.140 Like you have your online community, but you need a solid support system at home.

00:25:54.560 Like you need a solid support system.

00:25:56.900 Yes.

00:25:57.220 How often are we asked by kids or like young adults?

00:26:01.060 Like, OK, what do I need to do in order to like get famous?

00:26:04.820 Yep.

00:26:05.060 Yep.

00:26:05.240 And then my first thing is like, well, hey, don't.

00:26:07.940 Don't don't do that.

00:26:10.740 Yeah, don't do that.

00:26:11.640 You want to start with your community, work with your community.

00:26:15.460 Totally.

00:26:16.160 Try to, you know, learn.

00:26:18.220 Honestly, I think mutual aid is so underrated.

00:26:21.380 Yeah.

00:26:21.680 Like mutual aid is so important.

00:26:23.880 And so much of what we do, you and I specifically like stems from that.

00:26:28.460 Totally.

00:26:29.000 And I'm nothing without the community around me.

00:26:32.600 So, I mean, I don't know.

00:26:34.460 It's like 15 years of me grinding my gears and then all of a sudden one day I broke a

00:26:39.940 toilet and did a video and now I'm famous.

00:26:41.800 You know what I mean?

00:26:42.240 Like it's so like that 15 years I would never exchange that for anything.

00:26:46.060 If I would have gotten famous at 20.

00:26:47.860 Oh, boy.

00:26:50.160 No way.

00:26:50.840 I know.

00:26:51.140 I think that all the time.

00:26:51.940 Sometimes I'm like, thank God this happened to me after like when I was like a fully formed

00:26:55.740 adult.

00:26:56.040 Yeah.

00:26:56.580 Thank God it happened to me then.

00:26:57.880 When I was even in my like early 30s, I really thought I was like, I'm going to make it.

00:27:03.620 I'm going to make it.

00:27:04.700 And then when I gave up is when it kind of all started like working.

00:27:08.800 It just happened.

00:27:09.480 Yeah.

00:27:09.740 Because I like stopped pursuing performing regularly.

00:27:13.440 I stopped like traveling to major markets to try to like get into it.

00:27:18.040 And I just like focused on myself and my family.

00:27:22.440 And then all of a sudden it happened.

00:27:24.360 So.

00:27:24.740 Yeah, totally.

00:27:25.280 I feel like you probably I'm sure you have this very similar feeling.

00:27:29.560 But like for me, after I got fired and then I started posting TikToks, like it was the

00:27:32.860 same thing.

00:27:33.260 Like it just happened.

00:27:34.360 But I thought forever.

00:27:35.780 I was like, OK, well, this is my this is my purpose.

00:27:38.620 This is my dream.

00:27:39.300 This is what I'm supposed to do.

00:27:40.260 And then once I got fired, I was like, that was not my dream or my purpose.

00:27:44.100 Now that I do this, this is my purpose.

00:27:46.020 I'm walking in it now.

00:27:47.000 And I feel like you are, too.

00:27:48.600 100%.

00:27:48.920 Yeah.

00:27:49.360 I was literally working in property management when this was all happening.

00:27:53.260 Yeah.

00:27:53.600 And two months in, I was doing this to the point where every single resident knew I was

00:27:59.900 the trans handyman.

00:28:01.080 I would get into someone's apartment and they would be like, oh, my God, Mercury, you want

00:28:06.280 to film this?

00:28:07.300 I swear I didn't break it.

00:28:09.260 You know, and it was fun.

00:28:11.960 My my tenants loved it.

00:28:14.380 I loved working with them.

00:28:15.880 Yeah.

00:28:16.100 But then I then the company found out.

00:28:18.900 Yeah.

00:28:19.180 And the company where you couldn't.

00:28:20.400 The company basically told me that I needed to stop altogether.

00:28:24.500 And I was like, OK, well, I'll never film in their apartments.

00:28:27.200 But a lot of times they're asking me to.

00:28:29.760 And I don't do it during company hours.

00:28:31.680 Yeah.

00:28:32.080 But sometimes I do what I want evidence that I did the job.

00:28:35.760 Yeah.

00:28:36.040 So and they at the time encouraged us to take photos of completed jobs.

00:28:41.300 Yeah.

00:28:41.600 So to me, it made no sense to how there's a difference.

00:28:44.680 All of a sudden.

00:28:45.260 Yeah.

00:28:45.540 Changing the rules.

00:28:46.260 I mean, I just would take a whole, you know, standby video of like three feet away and put

00:28:51.180 it on a tripod.

00:28:51.840 That takes one second to do.

00:28:53.860 Yeah.

00:28:54.200 And then the job is done.

00:28:55.560 Yeah.

00:28:55.780 And I got clearance from them.

00:28:57.140 Yeah.

00:28:57.360 And then you have evidence that the whole job was done, how it was done.

00:29:01.080 And it's like marketing.

00:29:02.240 Yeah.

00:29:02.460 I thought it was a great idea.

00:29:04.360 And it was a great way to make tenants feel comfortable, too, because they're in an experience.

00:29:09.140 Right.

00:29:09.420 Totally.

00:29:09.720 And no one was complaining about it.

00:29:11.480 Right.

00:29:11.840 Yeah.

00:29:12.360 But they didn't like it.

00:29:13.940 They didn't like it.

00:29:14.760 I was the only person who was not a straight man.

00:29:19.140 Right.

00:29:19.460 Straight white man.

00:29:20.540 Yeah.

00:29:20.760 And like it was it was very, very the entire time.

00:29:25.180 And the way that other technicians like straight up talked about their tenants, you know, people

00:29:31.680 would talk about them being animals, a lot of terrible things.

00:29:36.160 Yeah.

00:29:36.440 And the most of the people that we were serving were people who were not cisgender and white.

00:29:41.320 Yeah.

00:29:41.760 So it was very obvious.

00:29:43.820 Like the energy just got real sinister.

00:29:45.880 Yeah.

00:29:46.120 So it got to be a point where I was like, I need to get out.

00:29:48.520 Yeah.

00:29:48.800 I need to get out.

00:29:49.440 And then we made a plan.

00:29:50.860 Yeah.

00:29:51.180 And my spouse had top surgery on a Thursday and on Monday when I came back to work, I

00:29:57.280 was done.

00:29:58.040 I wrote a seven page essay basically about all the things that were wrong, about what

00:30:04.560 they could do better as a company.

00:30:06.100 And then the entire team I worked with got fired.

00:30:09.420 Yeah.

00:30:10.360 Really?

00:30:11.300 Yeah.

00:30:11.660 It kind of breaks my heart because I don't I that is a solution you could do.

00:30:16.920 But also all you do in this industry is hire more people who are probably thinking the

00:30:21.140 same thing.

00:30:21.680 I know.

00:30:22.100 They just don't want someone who's challenging the status quo.

00:30:25.620 78% of all the people in maintenance technician are men above 40 years old.

00:30:31.020 Of course.

00:30:31.860 That is a wild thing.

00:30:33.420 Of course.

00:30:33.940 78 is high as hell.

00:30:35.840 Seven or six percent of people in this industry are women. 0.84

00:30:39.640 Jeez Louise.

00:30:40.560 Yeah.

00:30:41.020 And it's like it's also so like that feeling you get.

00:30:44.000 I feel like it's such a universal feeling regardless of how you identify.

00:30:46.740 But especially if you're in a marginalized group is when you have to call maintenance

00:30:50.300 and you're like, oh, they're going to be here and I get nervous and they're going to

00:30:54.540 ask me questions and I don't know how to answer them.

00:30:56.280 Like I never have a good feeling when I have to call maintenance for anything.

00:30:59.540 Yeah.

00:30:59.800 Neither do I, though.

00:31:00.600 Yeah.

00:31:00.880 Neither do I.

00:31:01.680 You know, like back before I came out and I would have like partners.

00:31:05.840 Or any of my queer stuff laying around. 0.80

00:31:07.880 I would always be like, I have to have a flag.

00:31:09.900 I got to make sure that the photos of my boyfriend are hit.

00:31:12.500 I am not a threat.

00:31:13.400 Yeah.

00:31:13.620 One hundred percent.

00:31:14.560 I was always just like, okay, how can I make sure that they think I'm a straight man

00:31:19.500 and make sure that I'm not going to be a threat to them at all.

00:31:23.360 Exactly.

00:31:24.260 And knowing that is like a trauma informed response.

00:31:27.780 If I know that's a reality for you and me.

00:31:30.700 Yeah.

00:31:31.080 That's also a reality for the audience in which that follows us.

00:31:33.940 I know.

00:31:34.340 And that means that I can talk to them in a way that men could never talk to them.

00:31:38.600 Yeah.

00:31:39.100 And I think that's like the huge leg up in this industry.

00:31:42.480 Absolutely.

00:31:42.820 Trying to speak to people in a way that actually meets them where they're at rather than like,

00:31:47.380 this is how you're supposed to do.

00:31:48.720 Talking down to them.

00:31:49.820 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:50.240 This whole like there's only one right way to do everything is so stupid. 1.00

00:31:54.240 And so male. 1.00

00:31:56.200 Yeah.

00:31:56.880 Like so man.

00:31:58.020 And also often ableist, right?

00:32:00.780 Period.

00:32:01.060 Because yeah, it's wild how quickly people devolve to like, you've got to be strong enough.

00:32:07.320 You have to do this job.

00:32:08.880 Yeah. 1.00

00:32:09.240 Suck it off. 1.00

00:32:10.040 How dare you, you know, express any level of pain in a very physical taxing job. 1.00

00:32:15.160 Yeah.

00:32:15.360 As if they know.

00:32:16.280 Yeah.

00:32:16.580 As if they know anything about the person that they're talking down to.

00:32:19.100 Yeah, absolutely.

00:32:19.960 It's so frustrating.

00:32:20.600 Well, tell me about your book.

00:32:21.640 I would love to hear about your book.

00:32:22.960 It's related to your amazing content.

00:32:25.400 Safe and sound.

00:32:26.040 Safe and sound.

00:32:26.680 A renter's friendly guide to home repair.

00:32:28.560 A best selling book.

00:32:29.900 Yes.

00:32:30.380 Period.

00:32:30.920 It is.

00:32:31.560 Honestly, that book, writing that book has been an absolutely lovely experience.

00:32:36.340 Yeah.

00:32:36.740 Because I did not realize how smart I was.

00:32:38.900 Yeah.

00:32:39.240 You know?

00:32:39.880 Yeah.

00:32:40.080 You really find out when you write a book on.

00:32:41.560 I was like, oh my God, I'm actually good at this thing.

00:32:43.900 Totally.

00:32:44.600 Wow.

00:32:45.300 It was really fun.

00:32:46.280 And I also had a whole bunch of other maintenance technicians look over the book and fact check stuff.

00:32:51.160 And we corrected very little.

00:32:53.500 Oh, I love.

00:32:54.140 That was such a confidence boost.

00:32:56.020 I bet.

00:32:57.280 And what a wonderful idea.

00:32:58.980 Like a literal guide for people who are too, like, they get too anxious or too nervous to, like, ask for help because they will be condescended to or discriminated against.

00:33:09.380 Everything in the book has, like, a lot of QR codes attached to it because some of us are visual learners.

00:33:15.080 Yeah.

00:33:15.340 And what we're talking about is very visual.

00:33:17.260 Yeah.

00:33:17.580 And then there's an emotional reset after every single chapter. 0.96

00:33:21.420 And this emotional reset was basically because I know sometimes when we do this work where we feel like shit afterwards. 0.98

00:33:27.600 Yeah. 0.99

00:33:27.900 You know?

00:33:28.360 Like, oh, that's not how it was supposed to be.

00:33:30.500 Yeah.

00:33:30.880 And then emotional reset was there just to remind people that this is difficult.

00:33:34.980 It's okay that it's difficult.

00:33:36.480 Yeah.

00:33:36.640 It's okay you weren't perfect.

00:33:38.080 Just, you know, hang in there.

00:33:39.520 That's so sweet.

00:33:40.480 I love that.

00:33:41.260 Yeah.

00:33:41.520 So how was the writing process like for you when you were putting it together? 0.74

00:33:45.060 I'm dyslexic, so writing this book sucked.

00:33:47.120 Really? 0.92

00:33:47.360 Yeah.

00:33:47.760 Yeah.

00:33:48.060 Really?

00:33:48.260 My mom's dyslexic, too.

00:33:49.660 Me just violating HIPAA.

00:33:50.740 It was one.

00:33:52.100 My bad.

00:33:52.980 It was 100% really difficult to, like, get some of my ideas across.

00:33:57.800 But what I ended up doing was I just, like, voice memoed everything.

00:34:01.680 Oh, nice.

00:34:02.060 And then had people transcribe it from that.

00:34:03.980 Love.

00:34:04.360 And that was kind of the most effective way for me to get my words out.

00:34:08.380 And to be honest, it then sounds like my voice more.

00:34:11.920 Oh, that's great.

00:34:12.960 I love that.

00:34:13.640 When I'm writing, I'm often, like, so concerned about exactly what word you're using.

00:34:19.000 When I read it back, it doesn't sound like me.

00:34:21.320 Yeah.

00:34:21.700 You know?

00:34:22.000 I see what you mean.

00:34:22.760 But when I'm speaking to someone, it's more fluid.

00:34:25.900 Yeah, totally.

00:34:26.540 It's unpolished.

00:34:28.320 And there's a level of authenticity and genuine support that that feels like.

00:34:33.600 Absolutely.

00:34:34.600 Yeah.

00:34:34.800 One of my publishers actually told me that the voice is the hardest part to nail down when you're writing, like, a nonfiction book, for example.

00:34:43.980 It's really important that the voice is strong and it sounds like you.

00:34:47.740 And I think you doing it in voice notes probably made that so much easier.

00:34:51.180 I do not know if it would have the same impact if it wasn't the case.

00:34:55.000 Yeah, totally.

00:34:55.320 You know, sometimes the obstacles in front of us actually make for a really cool result.

00:35:00.360 Yeah.

00:35:00.700 You know what I mean?

00:35:01.420 Yeah.

00:35:01.820 When we lean into our differences like that.

00:35:04.240 We're trying so hard sometimes to blend and to, like, hit the status quo.

00:35:08.480 Yeah, to simulate.

00:35:09.460 But in reality, our biggest strengths are our differences.

00:35:12.220 Period.

00:35:12.460 And if we lean into that, other people who are going through the same thing will also relate and connect to those things.

00:35:18.600 Yeah, absolutely.

00:35:19.840 So I'm going to transition really quickly into our topic.

00:35:23.360 I know a thing or two about transitions.

00:35:25.780 It was right in front of me.

00:35:26.820 I really set you up.

00:35:27.700 That was a layup.

00:35:28.200 Thank you.

00:35:28.780 I appreciate you.

00:35:30.120 We're going on the road.

00:35:32.140 For real.

00:35:32.780 Okay, so our topic for today is why terrible men on the internet think women and femmes aren't capable of working with tools or doing any sort of home maintenance, which I'm sure you've gotten.

00:35:43.120 Like you said, they're trying to nitpick you all the time.

00:35:45.540 Yeah, they think they're smart.

00:35:47.120 And they think they're smarter than you, which is the real joke.

00:35:51.040 Okay, so this first video is a woman in a construction vest and hard hat. 1.00

00:35:55.140 She's posing at a construction site with a text.

00:35:57.400 You're breaking up with me because I'm a construction worker.

00:35:59.640 And the caption says, your favorite flagger type.

00:36:03.520 And it's a type of construction job.

00:36:05.220 Yeah.

00:36:05.640 I don't know anything about that.

00:36:07.040 I'm inclined to believe you.

00:36:08.120 A flagger, is that an important person?

00:36:10.040 A flagger is someone that, like, stops traffic and tries to, like, you know, regulate traffic.

00:36:14.940 And they're basically the starting level of construction.

00:36:19.180 Almost every construction person, unless they do nepotism, straight up is a flagger first.

00:36:25.700 Yeah.

00:36:25.960 Oh, okay.

00:36:26.660 And I bet men think that they're better than her.

00:36:28.840 Even though they probably all started there.

00:36:30.560 Yes.

00:36:31.080 This one says, this comment says, that safety vest ain't even dirty or the hat must be new or you work in the office.

00:36:37.560 Do men not know what soap is? 0.77

00:36:39.160 I swear, that's always a comment. 0.66

00:36:41.640 It's dirty.

00:36:42.380 Everything has to be dirty.

00:36:43.320 Whenever I get a new tool, and I show it in a video or something, there'll always be a man who's just like, it's not even dirty.

00:36:50.960 And I'm like, do you know what new is?

00:36:53.120 And do you use broken tools? 0.99

00:36:54.680 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.98

00:36:56.260 I mean, of course you know what a broken tool is. 1.00

00:36:59.400 See, period, get them.

00:37:01.560 That's crazy.

00:37:02.480 They're always like, doesn't even look used.

00:37:04.620 It's not.

00:37:05.340 It's new.

00:37:06.000 Also, the only time that men really care what I look like at all is when they try to disprove or discredit me.

00:37:11.920 My nails are already the biggest thing that people comment on.

00:37:15.260 Really?

00:37:15.500 Saying you can't possibly do work with nails?

00:37:17.420 People will just be like, oh, your nails don't even look dirty.

00:37:20.220 And I'm like, it's called a brush and soap.

00:37:22.600 I don't know.

00:37:23.620 Maybe look into it.

00:37:24.560 Yeah.

00:37:24.860 If you don't wash your hands, thank you for letting everyone know. 0.98

00:37:28.200 I know, you big nasty. 0.95

00:37:29.780 Yeah. 0.99

00:37:30.200 That's disgusting.

00:37:31.860 Oh, so gloves exist. 0.97

00:37:32.980 Yeah, it's like we're not all disgusting and then somehow that means you're incapable.

00:37:38.200 Yeah. 0.77

00:37:38.500 That's so weird.

00:37:39.400 Okay, this one says a flag person wouldn't consider that construction.

00:37:44.120 I love that mentality.

00:37:45.480 Yeah.

00:37:45.720 That is so funny.

00:37:46.800 Yeah.

00:37:47.120 Because it's the same guys who talk about football and they're just like, kickers aren't really football players.

00:37:52.400 Yeah.

00:37:52.640 I'm like, no one who actually plays football feels that way.

00:37:55.620 Period.

00:37:56.140 Thank you for calling yourself out.

00:37:58.860 Well, also, we're both at home and they're over there playing for a living.

00:38:04.500 One of the most dangerous jobs in all of construction is a flagger because they're the ones who put themselves closest to the traffic itself.

00:38:13.240 I think they're one of the most dangerous jobs in America.

00:38:16.280 Really?

00:38:16.820 Yeah.

00:38:17.580 Flaggers do a really scary thing. 0.73

00:38:20.080 Yeah, especially on highways.

00:38:21.760 They're literally on six lane highways standing in the middle. 0.97

00:38:24.680 So, I wouldn't be talking shit about someone who has the power to direct traffic into you. 0.98

00:38:30.740 They're like, why don't you come down here and hang out? 0.98

00:38:32.060 Yeah, let's hang out.

00:38:33.540 You hang out next to me, Hank.

00:38:36.740 This last one says, my girls ain't working unless it's for me. 0.98

00:38:41.560 That's gross.

00:38:42.280 Yeah, good for you.

00:38:43.420 I don't know what to tell you.

00:38:44.380 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:44.740 Oh, so you're a pervert? 1.00

00:38:45.900 Okay. 1.00

00:38:46.320 Exactly.

00:38:47.100 And I can't even imagine the kind of harassment that happens on those job sites.

00:38:51.520 A lot.

00:38:52.420 Yeah.

00:38:52.600 I can't even imagine.

00:38:53.140 I mean, it's so casual, too.

00:38:54.120 I mean, you would hear people say this constantly on job sites.

00:38:57.320 People will be like, well, I don't want to hire her because she'll change the environment 1.00

00:39:01.800 or she'll, like, change how we talk to each other.

00:39:05.640 Isn't that so gross? 0.99

00:39:07.120 It's so gross. 0.95

00:39:08.100 It's like, they're like, well, I'm so disgusting. 0.94

00:39:10.860 And if she comes in, she might report me for you. 0.80

00:39:12.960 Yeah, 100. 0.97

00:39:13.860 Maybe don't be disgusting. 0.71

00:39:15.020 Have you thought about that? 0.92

00:39:15.960 Yeah.

00:39:16.440 Oh, they're going to take me to HR.

00:39:18.660 Well, that's a weird thing.

00:39:19.880 Just said that loud.

00:39:21.340 She's for sure going to take me to HR.

00:39:23.440 Yeah.

00:39:24.000 Okay.

00:39:24.500 Yeah.

00:39:24.760 And also, the other men around that, hearing that, are just like, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

00:39:29.360 Instead of, like, saying something.

00:39:30.900 I'm like, oh, my God.

00:39:32.180 I know.

00:39:32.560 The way that I get infuriated.

00:39:34.280 I even, I think recently I was doing, I forget what I was doing, but they asked me, they were

00:39:38.980 asking me questions.

00:39:39.760 And someone asked me, like, they wrote in a question.

00:39:42.060 And they were like, oh, I really love my boyfriend, but he has a friend, a best friend that I hate 0.96

00:39:46.700 because he's an awful person. 0.68

00:39:48.560 And then I was like, okay.

00:39:50.180 And that's my, that's his best friend, though, of, like, 10 years. 0.99

00:39:52.660 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

00:39:53.640 You're still friends with someone who's awful? 1.00

00:39:55.140 And I literally told the person I was on the show with, I was like, okay, well, that's

00:39:59.720 either one of two things.

00:40:00.700 Either your boyfriend's secretly a terrible person and just doesn't show you, or he's a 1.00

00:40:04.100 fucking coward. 1.00

00:40:05.280 Which one is it? 1.00

00:40:06.240 Ooh, that's.

00:40:07.140 I was like, he won't confront his best friend of 10 years if he's, like, a racist.

00:40:11.320 Yeah.

00:40:11.520 And you just don't care about that?

00:40:12.460 That is such a real statement.

00:40:14.420 It's true.

00:40:15.180 Like, that is, and here's the thing.

00:40:16.840 As someone who was secretly a man for, like, 30 years, I will let you know that, like, that's

00:40:22.760 how men talk.

00:40:23.800 If they're genuinely allowing that to happen around them, the chances are they agree, but

00:40:29.260 they're not as loud about it.

00:40:30.420 Yeah.

00:40:30.840 Absolutely.

00:40:31.360 I've said that, too.

00:40:32.160 And whenever a man does speak up about it, they're eating at lunch alone.

00:40:36.380 Yeah.

00:40:36.880 Like, I was constantly exiled from male spaces.

00:40:40.380 Because whenever I would express an idea that was even remotely feminine, you know, they 1.00

00:40:46.120 would just be like, oh, no, you're one of the weak ones.

00:40:49.240 Yeah, they're like, oh, she's no fun. 1.00

00:40:51.620 Yeah, exactly. 0.97

00:40:52.420 And it's like, oh, I don't take pleasure in being disgusting about women. 0.93

00:40:56.700 Yeah. 0.98

00:40:56.960 Crazy how that works.

00:40:58.140 Men always like to talk about themselves as if they're wolves, you know?

00:41:01.280 Yeah.

00:41:01.680 You know, they're always talking about, like, you know, a pack or an alpha, you know? 1.00

00:41:06.220 But a dog wouldn't even sniff their ass. 1.00

00:41:10.100 For real. 1.00

00:41:11.040 That's what I'm saying.

00:41:12.220 I literally made that joke the other day.

00:41:13.660 I was like, a lot of men like that, like, truly believe that they're like Steve Rogers

00:41:18.060 and Captain America, like, so downtrodden and an underdog and then chosen for a higher

00:41:23.280 purpose.

00:41:23.920 I'm like, that's not you.

00:41:25.480 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:25.920 You're a big fucking loser is what you are. 1.00

00:41:28.140 Steve Rogers would probably give you, like, a swirly. 1.00

00:41:31.260 You know what I mean?

00:41:32.000 Yeah, he'd bully you. 1.00

00:41:32.940 Yeah, he would bully the shit out of you. 1.00

00:41:34.460 Just like how I bully you. 0.99

00:41:36.020 I'm Steve Rogers.

00:41:36.940 Turns out it's me.

00:41:38.960 Big twist.

00:41:39.680 Oh, Marvel Universe is being turned upside down.

00:41:43.180 I'm going to gender bend Captain America. 0.75

00:41:45.060 Let's do it.

00:41:46.620 Okay.

00:41:47.000 And this one, this next video, this is a woman explains that she wanted to redo her backyard

00:41:52.180 deck, but a contractor quoted her that it would cost $32,000.

00:41:56.440 So she decided to redo it on her own.

00:41:59.160 The video shows a time lapse of her process doing a full demo of the deck by herself.

00:42:03.780 And then several men in the comments had unsolicited opinions.

00:42:06.940 And this first one says, 32K, he was trying to rip you off because you're a woman. 0.84

00:42:11.460 Well, thank you for admitting that out loud.

00:42:13.300 Yeah.

00:42:14.220 Yeah.

00:42:14.800 I figured.

00:42:16.020 Yeah.

00:42:16.340 I think that fems are very well aware of how we're treated in the world. 1.00

00:42:22.180 Exhibit A, your dumb comment. 0.99

00:42:25.060 Yeah, I got that much. 1.00

00:42:26.340 Thank you.

00:42:26.900 I'm like, oh, on the comment where I said that was a scam, I redid it myself.

00:42:30.600 And he's like, I think he was trying to rip you off.

00:42:33.160 Yeah.

00:42:33.700 Wow.

00:42:34.040 Sherlock Holmes.

00:42:34.780 Yeah.

00:42:34.860 I can't believe you got to the center of that.

00:42:36.380 That's crazy.

00:42:37.160 I think it's just weird when your first reaction isn't to uplift someone who just did an awesome job of redoing something. 1.00

00:42:44.240 It's like, it's because you're a fucking woman. 1.00

00:42:45.940 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:46.340 Oh, okay.

00:42:47.040 It's so weird. 1.00

00:42:48.080 Oh, I was afraid he was ripping me off for another reason that had nothing to do with me being an idiot. 1.00

00:42:52.620 Yeah. 0.99

00:42:52.740 I also think it has a lot to say about their lack of actually knowing what looks good.

00:42:57.640 Like, I think that men, when it comes to like, if you don't know enough about construction.

00:43:02.160 Yeah.

00:43:02.400 I think they genuinely just lean into insulting people because then it takes away from the fact that they don't know what a deck screw is.

00:43:08.580 You know what I mean?

00:43:10.200 They're hiding behind it.

00:43:12.600 100%.

00:43:12.960 Yeah.

00:43:13.340 Yeah.

00:43:13.700 And it's also like, when you were saying they correct you on, they're like, well, that's actually a this.

00:43:19.600 And you're like, no, it's not.

00:43:20.980 Yeah.

00:43:21.120 They're like, well, guess what? 1.00

00:43:21.820 You're ugly. 1.00

00:43:22.680 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:43:24.900 I thought we were talking about the tools, but apparently not.

00:43:27.060 Yeah.

00:43:27.260 It's such a loud way to call yourself up.

00:43:30.180 Yeah.

00:43:30.360 They just move the goalposts.

00:43:32.040 Like, it's like, oh, okay.

00:43:33.040 I thought we were talking.

00:43:33.900 Okay.

00:43:34.320 Yeah.

00:43:34.600 That's always their default, their fallback.

00:43:36.900 Yeah. 0.93

00:43:37.320 Because their brains aren't this big. 0.99

00:43:38.620 No, they're just, they're sad. 0.97

00:43:40.540 Yeah.

00:43:40.840 They're unemployed.

00:43:41.980 Yeah.

00:43:42.300 And sad.

00:43:43.100 This one says, I already knew what the end result was going to be before I finished the video.

00:43:47.140 Bland, white, sterile.

00:43:48.720 I'm assuming.

00:43:49.260 Oh, cool.

00:43:49.680 There it is.

00:43:50.240 Yeah.

00:43:50.600 Yeah.

00:43:50.820 Like you said, it doesn't look a certain way.

00:43:52.760 Men are always so willing to talk about.

00:43:54.140 That's crazy.

00:43:54.660 You predicted that.

00:43:55.260 Yeah.

00:43:55.420 The same people who don't know how to tuck in a shirt are always just like, that does

00:44:00.360 not look good.

00:44:01.340 Yeah.

00:44:01.600 Okay. 1.00

00:44:02.000 Neither does your dirty fucking ripped jeans coming to someone's wedding. 1.00

00:44:05.900 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:44:06.320 All of a sudden they care about aesthetic.

00:44:07.560 Yeah.

00:44:07.960 All of a sudden.

00:44:08.840 Yeah.

00:44:09.060 The guys who don't know how to trim a beard are so obsessed with it.

00:44:12.460 Or condition a beard.

00:44:13.720 Yeah.

00:44:14.080 I've even like, my boyfriend has gotten, there were like, I forget, he got one comment from

00:44:19.140 a guy.

00:44:19.700 They always call him like a cuck and a soy boy, whatever about my boyfriend.

00:44:23.640 And I was like, that is a wild thing to say about someone who could like body press. 0.94

00:44:29.480 Like your boyfriend could snap most of those men in half.

00:44:33.740 Mercury's met my boyfriend in person and he's a big man.

00:44:36.340 Yeah.

00:44:37.080 Wonderful.

00:44:37.640 Very big.

00:44:40.320 Period.

00:44:41.260 Also, so sweet.

00:44:42.560 Yeah.

00:44:42.700 That is a sign of a truly confident man when they take up the size of their actual body

00:44:49.340 instead of taking up the size of an entire room and they're just so kind to somebody.

00:44:54.260 I love that.

00:44:55.000 He actually told me that he loves watching your videos too because he didn't grow up with

00:44:59.620 a dad for a while.

00:45:00.660 Like he has a stepdad now and he's been in his life for a very long time and that's his

00:45:03.980 dad.

00:45:04.300 But he didn't have a dad for a very long time.

00:45:06.220 So he actually didn't learn a lot of stuff around the house.

00:45:08.660 And so he said he's watched your videos a lot to like learn more about how to help do

00:45:12.920 things around the house and everything.

00:45:14.160 I love hearing that from men.

00:45:15.160 He loves that.

00:45:15.580 Yeah.

00:45:16.020 My audience has grown a lot towards men over the last couple of months.

00:45:20.420 Yeah.

00:45:20.780 It's been really, and it used to not feel great.

00:45:24.000 Yeah.

00:45:24.220 It used to be a little ominous.

00:45:25.200 Yeah.

00:45:25.380 When there was a lot of men watching me, you could tell in the comment section.

00:45:28.940 Yeah.

00:45:29.200 But now it feels different.

00:45:31.160 Like there's a lot of men who are following me.

00:45:33.060 It's like the right men are following you.

00:45:34.140 And it's also, it feels kind of like the men are like secretly following me.

00:45:38.100 Like they don't want their friends to know they don't know how to hold that tool.

00:45:41.100 You know what I mean?

00:45:41.880 They're just like, I don't want anyone to know that I have tool anxiety.

00:45:47.400 So I'm just going to make sure that I hold this tape measure and then not necessarily

00:45:53.100 when I call attention to it.

00:45:54.360 Yeah.

00:45:54.720 No, my, my boyfriend loves your videos.

00:45:56.500 He's like, I think they're so helpful.

00:45:58.300 I was like, you and me both girl.

00:45:59.460 Yeah.

00:45:59.900 I love it.

00:46:00.860 Yeah.

00:46:01.020 This last comment says, look, I'm proud of you, but learn to swing a hammer.

00:46:04.880 You'll save energy and time.

00:46:06.120 That's crazy.

00:46:06.740 You're predicting every single comment.

00:46:08.880 You're calling everyone. 1.00

00:46:10.120 This is what's funny is that the men who don't know how to swing a dick are always the same 0.99

00:46:14.960 men are like, that's not how you swing a hammer. 0.99

00:46:17.800 Like, okay.

00:46:18.520 If it pounds, it does a good job.

00:46:20.160 Yeah.

00:46:20.420 Okay.

00:46:20.900 It's getting it in there.

00:46:22.000 So we, we treat you fine about you just pounding away.

00:46:25.960 But as soon as you see a woman do it, you're like, no, all of a sudden you care about cadence, 0.99

00:46:31.000 huh?

00:46:31.300 Yeah.

00:46:31.520 You care about rhythm.

00:46:32.400 All of a sudden, all of a sudden.

00:46:35.040 So funny.

00:46:35.760 Yeah.

00:46:36.260 I, it, men are so predictable.

00:46:38.500 They really are.

00:46:39.140 I was, I'm shocked that you predicted every single comment.

00:46:41.960 I won't tell you my secrets.

00:46:45.400 That's so funny.

00:46:46.400 I'm like, I find it so fascinating that they continue to condescend to us and talk to us 1.00

00:46:53.380 about like how fucking stupid we are. 1.00

00:46:55.600 Talk down to us, belittle us, whatever. 1.00

00:46:57.160 And they, they are so predictable.

00:46:59.700 Like, even when people ask me, how do I deal with hate? 0.86

00:47:01.720 How do I deal with like them calling me fat and ugly?

00:47:03.480 I'm like, that's the only thing they call me, girl. 0.90

00:47:05.440 Yeah.

00:47:05.720 Like that's the, all they ever call me.

00:47:07.160 I it's, it's so the content doesn't get any wittier or more clever. 0.99

00:47:11.380 It literally just, it's just a repeat cycle of the same shit. 1.00

00:47:14.840 100%. 1.00

00:47:15.200 Yeah.

00:47:15.720 And the rare times, the rare times that they say something original, I genuinely laugh.

00:47:21.720 Me too.

00:47:22.500 That's so funny you say that.

00:47:23.720 It's like, sometimes I'm like, okay, that was kind of funny.

00:47:26.320 Yeah.

00:47:26.600 Sometimes someone said, I dyed my hair orange a few weeks ago.

00:47:31.160 Yeah.

00:47:31.600 A few months ago.

00:47:32.500 And someone said that I don't take any advice for anyone who cosplays vitamin C.

00:47:37.640 And I laughed for 35 minutes.

00:47:40.760 I was on the floor being like, that's so funny.

00:47:44.340 And they had like a super straight symbol in their bio.

00:47:47.600 And I'm like, I don't even care.

00:47:48.660 I don't care how much of a bigot you are.

00:47:50.380 That is so funny. 0.98

00:47:52.520 That's insane.

00:47:53.440 I literally got a comment.

00:47:56.140 I want to say a few months ago, but it was just like, I could tell it was someone young.

00:48:01.120 You know how sometimes you could tell they're young?

00:48:02.600 Yeah.

00:48:02.920 And he wrote, nobody cares, Chunko. 1.00

00:48:06.220 Kind of funny.

00:48:08.060 Yeah.

00:48:08.380 You kind of got me.

00:48:09.480 That's kind of funny.

00:48:10.440 I was like, I've never heard Chunko before. 1.00

00:48:12.260 Yeah.

00:48:12.680 I've never heard that one.

00:48:13.620 That's new.

00:48:14.140 I sometimes wish I could just like rank them.

00:48:17.640 Yeah.

00:48:17.840 Totally.

00:48:18.500 Totally.

00:48:19.020 I just want to like put it on a bulletin board for everyone to see and be like, see, this

00:48:22.440 is the gold standard.

00:48:23.440 Yeah.

00:48:23.880 If you were going to get the numbers up.

00:48:25.800 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:26.000 If you're going to treat me like shit, please come at me the same way that I would come at 1.00

00:48:29.240 you. 1.00

00:48:29.880 Yeah.

00:48:30.200 Please.

00:48:30.800 I'm bored. 0.96

00:48:31.380 I'm fucking bored. 0.96

00:48:32.680 I know you're just like me in the sense that you use hate comments a lot of times to farm 0.96

00:48:36.380 content.

00:48:37.140 Oh, it's so good.

00:48:37.820 You do it all the time.

00:48:38.580 Just like me, girl.

00:48:39.660 We're twins.

00:48:40.300 Don't call me out like this.

00:48:42.520 It's the best.

00:48:43.360 It's like content farming.

00:48:44.460 Yeah.

00:48:44.700 It's also.

00:48:45.100 I love it.

00:48:45.620 I like how when I'm like creatively bankrupt and I have no idea what to do.

00:48:49.200 You're so me.

00:48:49.820 I'll like see a comment and be like, thank you for the content.

00:48:53.040 You're so me.

00:48:54.140 That is so funny.

00:48:55.220 I literally sometimes I got a hate comment the other day and I was like, oh, thank God

00:48:58.100 I've needed a new one.

00:48:59.320 Yeah.

00:48:59.600 Thank God I need it.

00:49:00.340 I need to put on a video today.

00:49:01.480 Yeah.

00:49:01.680 I was just like, I haven't posted in five days.

00:49:03.640 So thank you.

00:49:04.460 Thank you.

00:49:04.880 You're so me.

00:49:05.600 Thank you, Brad from Alabama. 0.56

00:49:08.480 I'm like, damn, I need to go look in old videos, find a hate comment or something. 0.90

00:49:11.320 There was someone who said like a terrible thing to me on Instagram like a week ago and 0.97

00:49:16.520 then I just like did a very nice response to them and I used it for a clout and then

00:49:21.880 I posted what I said to them and it went viral and I'm like, thank you for paying my rent

00:49:26.420 for the month.

00:49:27.060 Period.

00:49:27.280 You know what I mean?

00:49:27.800 Period.

00:49:28.440 I'm always like my business stands on the shoulders of men who hate me.

00:49:32.180 Yeah, exactly.

00:49:33.040 Also job security.

00:49:34.180 Yeah.

00:49:34.360 The meaner you are to me and the women around me, the more that I'm going to exist in the 1.00

00:49:39.240 world.

00:49:40.180 I was like, we're symbiotic girl.

00:49:42.020 We can't exist without each other.

00:49:43.460 Yeah.

00:49:43.880 I was like, you'll never stop and then I'll never stop and then it's when.

00:49:47.100 Yeah.

00:49:47.360 Trans ally.

00:49:48.520 Period.

00:49:48.820 You don't know.

00:49:49.920 You don't know how much.

00:49:51.060 They're being such an ally.

00:49:52.260 Yes.

00:49:53.180 Thank you.

00:49:53.840 Yeah, thank you.

00:49:54.420 Thank you for taking this one to the chest.

00:49:57.780 You know what I mean?

00:49:58.260 I really appreciate you taking it.

00:50:00.080 Thanks for falling on that sword for me.

00:50:01.280 I needed it.

00:50:01.940 Yeah.

00:50:02.420 Yeah.

00:50:02.580 Well, we've talked about so many wonderful things, but just to kind of wrap up with a

00:50:07.800 pretty little bow at the end, what would you say is your best piece of advice for anyone,

00:50:12.560 however they identify, if they're maybe a little nervous about home maintenance or anything

00:50:17.240 regarding taking care of their home and they don't know what to do, what would you say

00:50:22.100 is your best piece of advice for them when seeking help or information or whatever it

00:50:26.640 may be, other than buying safe and sound?

00:50:28.780 Ah.

00:50:29.240 Yeah.

00:50:29.440 The best advice that I ever heard about my transition was when people told me that you're

00:50:36.400 going through a second puberty as an adult in front of people.

00:50:40.060 Yeah.

00:50:40.340 And I think that when we are younger, we make room for people to learn new things, right?

00:50:45.880 Totally.

00:50:46.160 Yeah.

00:50:46.260 But when they get to adulthood, we immediately thrust.

00:50:49.900 They have to know all of this work.

00:50:51.260 Yeah.

00:50:51.520 Just think about it the same way that you would think about me learning how to be my authentic

00:50:55.900 self at age 36, right?

00:50:58.240 You're kind and respectful to me.

00:51:00.280 You're listening to me.

00:51:01.760 Yeah.

00:51:02.140 And you're making space for me to make mistakes.

00:51:04.680 If you do that for me, you should do it for yourself.

00:51:06.820 Oh, I love that.

00:51:07.340 And I think that it's a really smart way to be like, once we learn compassion for others,

00:51:13.620 Yeah.

00:51:13.860 It's really easy for us to forget a bit about being compassionate to ourself.

00:51:17.480 Oh, yeah.

00:51:18.000 So make space for yourself.

00:51:19.520 That's so sweet.

00:51:20.060 You know what?

00:51:20.520 And don't worry about holding that hammer.

00:51:21.940 No one knows how to hold it.

00:51:23.940 It's snowflake.

00:51:25.360 Yeah.

00:51:25.600 It is not the size of the hammer that matters.

00:51:28.600 I'll ask you one more advice question.

00:51:30.860 For any trans people that maybe want to make content and maybe are a little fearful of

00:51:36.340 existing online because it is as beautiful and amazing and as fostering community as

00:51:42.540 it can be, it can also be very scary and very dark.

00:51:45.560 So what would you say is your best piece of advice for any trans person that maybe wants 0.99

00:51:49.320 to make content and exist on the internet?

00:51:51.340 Look, they're going to make fun of you no matter what.

00:51:53.420 They're going to make fun of you behind your back, in front of you.

00:51:56.500 They're going to make fun of you upside down and all the way around.

00:51:59.220 But if you can use that, use it for ammunition and use it for fuel, that is the best way

00:52:05.260 to get back at people.

00:52:06.320 Yeah.

00:52:06.720 Right?

00:52:07.140 And I think that we're so scared of what people are going to say, but honey, they're going

00:52:11.040 to say something no matter what.

00:52:12.420 Yeah, they're already saying it.

00:52:13.460 And being afraid of other people's opinions about you does not have to be your reality. 0.98

00:52:17.520 So take up that same space and let's fucking show people how trans girls and trans men 1.00

00:52:22.400 do it. 1.00

00:52:23.000 Period.

00:52:23.760 Yeah.

00:52:24.220 We love that.

00:52:26.280 Well, thank you so much for coming on the show.

00:52:28.380 I'm obsessed with you.

00:52:29.360 Oh, I'm obsessed with you.

00:52:30.200 You and me, twin.

00:52:31.120 I love you dearly.

00:52:32.940 You're the best.

00:52:34.360 Thank you so much for coming on the show.

00:52:35.780 Where can everybody find you?

00:52:37.160 You can find me on the internet.

00:52:39.560 Period.

00:52:40.060 You can find me on Instagram for Mercury Stardust Tops.

00:52:43.080 That is not a sex joke, I promise.

00:52:45.340 You can find me on YouTube and TikTok and Facebook.

00:52:48.640 And then, also, in any book place near you, Safe and Sound are in your friendly guide to

00:52:54.100 home repair.

00:52:54.700 Yes, please get it.

00:52:55.940 It's so incredibly helpful.

00:52:57.360 And please follow Mercury on literally everything.

00:52:58.820 If you're not already.

00:52:59.820 But everybody who follows my show should be following Mercury already.

00:53:02.920 Yeah. 0.70

00:53:03.460 Because my show is truly for famous drag queens and gay people and trans people.

00:53:09.020 And that's it.

00:53:10.120 Yeah.

00:53:10.520 I like it.

00:53:11.840 I've literally counted yesterday.

00:53:13.420 I think it was yesterday.

00:53:13.980 I've only had one, two, three, four straight men.

00:53:17.580 Oh, my God.

00:53:18.180 In 133 episodes.

00:53:20.260 But also, that feels right.

00:53:22.060 That's equity.

00:53:22.520 You know what's funny?

00:53:23.320 That's equity.

00:53:23.440 You know what's T?

00:53:24.140 Is my boyfriend said, if you think about it, those numbers, that's like how many good

00:53:28.000 men there are.

00:53:29.180 It's like only four out of, he's like one in 16.

00:53:31.540 I said it.

00:53:31.860 And that's all period.

00:53:32.340 If you're not speaking up against patriarchy, you are speaking with patriarchy.

00:53:36.680 T. 1.00

00:53:37.060 Tell him, bitch. 1.00

00:53:38.200 Thank you so much for joining us. 0.99

00:53:39.960 Thank you to my amazing guest, Mercury.

00:53:41.480 Make sure y'all follow Mercury on literally everything and support her and buy her book

00:53:44.440 and do all of the things.

00:53:45.400 Because I said so.

00:53:46.420 It's in order.

00:53:47.100 Yeah.

00:53:47.300 Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section.

00:53:49.780 Don't forget, new episodes drop every Wednesday.

00:53:51.760 You can listen to the audio on all streaming platforms or you can watch the video, which

00:53:55.080 lives exclusively and for free, on Spotify.

00:53:57.740 Thank you so much to my amazing guest, Mercury.

00:53:59.520 Thank you all for watching and I'll see you next week.

00:54:01.360 Bye.

00:54:01.960 Bye.

00:54:02.080 Bye.

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - August 21, 2024

YOUR TOOLS ARE BROKEN Ft. Mercury Stardust

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript