The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - YOU’RE TROUBLE Ft. EJ Marcus

00:00:00.260 I was on a plane recently and I was sitting in the exit row and the flight attendant came

00:00:04.880 and was doing the spiel of, you know, are you willing and able to help or whatever, stopped

00:00:09.540 at me and goes, um, and are you older than 15?

00:00:14.400 I was wearing a leather trench coat.

00:00:16.900 Inspector Gadget, are you 18 or older?

00:00:19.120 They're like, and what's under the coat?

00:00:20.500 I'm like, ah!

00:00:21.000 Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring

00:00:31.880 me, your favorite, everybody knows me, who cares about me?

00:00:35.040 On to the guests.

00:00:36.360 Today we have the hilarious, the amazing, the talented EJ Marcus.

00:00:42.760 Welcome to the show.

00:00:44.500 Thank you so much.

00:00:45.580 Are you excited to be here?

00:00:47.160 I'm so excited.

00:00:48.780 Okay, good.

00:00:49.500 I'm glad.

00:00:50.060 I was a little worried for a second.

00:00:51.700 Just kidding.

00:00:53.580 Okay, I'll fix everything.

00:00:56.280 I'm so excited to have you.

00:00:58.200 Yeah, I'm stoked.

00:00:59.460 I'm a huge, huge fan of all your content.

00:01:01.800 Been a fan for a while.

00:01:03.760 Same to you.

00:01:05.380 I hope you're not just saying that, EJ.

00:01:06.980 I will fact check that.

00:01:08.940 No.

00:01:10.500 No, it's real.

00:01:11.700 I'm so happy that you're here, especially being a fan of your content.

00:01:14.600 My sister and I are both really big fans of your content.

00:01:16.680 My sister used to send me your videos all the time.

00:01:18.400 And I was like, oh, yeah, I follow him.

00:01:20.440 I've been following him for a while.

00:01:21.780 And she's like, he's so funny.

00:01:24.520 That's so awesome.

00:01:25.740 I actually, that is my favorite when people are like, my family and I enjoy your stuff.

00:01:30.200 Yeah, absolutely.

00:01:31.000 I sort of joke that I'm like a really family friendly comedian.

00:01:35.260 You are.

00:01:35.720 But it feels so insane to say that.

00:01:38.440 But I am.

00:01:39.100 Yeah, I do.

00:01:39.780 I'm not.

00:01:40.520 But you are.

00:01:41.100 Yeah.

00:01:41.600 Absolutely, you are.

00:01:42.740 I think you're, what I love most about your content is that, and for those of you who don't

00:01:46.860 know, why don't you know, first of all, but second of all, I love that you're, you have

00:01:51.680 a very specific, like niche, like perspective on your skits a lot of times.

00:01:57.800 Those are my favorite kinds of jokes.

00:01:59.520 A niche joke that nobody gets unless you get it.

00:02:02.520 That's my favorite kind of shit.

00:02:03.500 Oh, thank you so much.

00:02:05.580 You posted a TikTok, I remember so distinctly, and my sister sent it to me, and it was like

00:02:11.260 someone who's very clearly afraid of their own cat.

00:02:14.460 It's just a bunch of cuts of someone being like, well, no, like, I mean, that's just like,

00:02:19.040 is it him or is it me as the owner?

00:02:22.060 And they're like, oh, these scratches, they're just, she does that.

00:02:26.200 She likes to play.

00:02:27.540 So often with that kind of thing, I'm just like, I worry, you know, will it find its

00:02:33.480 correct audience?

00:02:35.520 You're like, if they get it, they're going to laugh.

00:02:38.740 Yeah.

00:02:38.940 If they, if they've ever experienced something like this, I mean, I, it's also so related

00:02:43.760 to like whatever my current like fixation is.

00:02:46.240 Yeah.

00:02:46.560 Like with that kind of video, I'll just like immediately get a text from my partner and

00:02:50.000 they're like, so what's going on at home?

00:02:52.780 So just checking in.

00:02:54.420 All right.

00:02:54.740 Are the cats giving you trouble?

00:02:57.640 That's so funny.

00:02:58.360 I'm like, what?

00:02:58.800 I, you, my sister and I are actually quoting a recent one of yours where you're talking

00:03:03.680 about your recently unemployed roommate and then they're like, oh, wet paint.

00:03:08.300 Don't lean on that.

00:03:09.240 Wet paint started.

00:03:10.400 I started a new project in the living room.

00:03:12.720 Yeah.

00:03:13.240 Yeah.

00:03:13.400 Once again, life sort of imitates art.

00:03:15.040 I know that my sister and I keep quoting when you say like, can I come in?

00:03:20.880 And you're like, oh, and then you step forward and you're like, and that's 10,000 steps.

00:03:24.680 I hit 10,000 steps today.

00:03:26.560 Oh my God.

00:03:27.360 Well, the 10,000 steps thing I just learned about.

00:03:30.080 Have you guys heard of this?

00:03:31.360 No.

00:03:31.780 What is it?

00:03:32.420 You're supposed to like, I don't know.

00:03:33.880 Somebody, well, honestly on a different podcast that I was listening to was like, you're supposed

00:03:38.820 to walk 10,000 steps a day or something.

00:03:41.080 A day?

00:03:42.380 Ridiculous.

00:03:43.200 It's not happening.

00:03:43.820 How would I get anything else done if I was hitting 10,000 steps a day?

00:03:46.240 Exactly.

00:03:46.800 You have to, that has to be your whole personality.

00:03:49.760 And if you don't have a job, very easy.

00:03:52.400 I mean, and look.

00:03:54.260 It's very easy.

00:03:55.720 Guilty.

00:03:56.320 Yeah.

00:03:57.340 I think with the, I saw something similar to that, but I saw on, I also saw TikTok, me

00:04:04.300 constantly being like, I think I saw a steady once and I'm talking about a TikTok.

00:04:08.040 I read a book.

00:04:09.020 Yeah.

00:04:09.480 I once read this really long, thick intellectual book and it's just a bunch of TikToks.

00:04:13.820 TikToks I saw, but it was, uh, this girl talking about how she found out recently how

00:04:18.380 much fiber you have to eat every day or fiber and protein.

00:04:21.420 And then she was like, and I think I have to quit my job.

00:04:24.380 Like, I don't know how I'm going to get all of that done in one day.

00:04:27.840 Impossible.

00:04:29.240 The amount of protein you should be eating every single day.

00:04:32.660 Right.

00:04:33.160 And then it's sort of like, and then what's the end goal?

00:04:35.400 Right.

00:04:35.800 Like, what's the goal of protein?

00:04:39.260 Yeah.

00:04:39.660 Where, where are we going with that?

00:04:41.700 At what point does it stop?

00:04:43.400 Right.

00:04:43.800 That, that kind of niche humor is like some of my favorite kind of humor.

00:04:47.120 Yeah.

00:04:47.400 It's so stupid.

00:04:48.260 I love a niche, very specific joke.

00:04:51.360 And then I love a joke that's so stupidly obvious.

00:04:54.260 Like, like a, like a Joe mama joke, huge fan or like a Ligma, Segundi's trying to think

00:05:00.920 of all the ones I always say, these nuts, I say these nuts joke, like my life depends

00:05:05.140 on it.

00:05:05.420 It's foolproof.

00:05:05.900 That's always funny.

00:05:06.660 It hits with every audience.

00:05:09.300 It's like, it's something for everyone.

00:05:11.140 Right.

00:05:11.580 For something for everyone to enjoy.

00:05:13.320 Fun for the whole family.

00:05:15.520 Family friendly comedy.

00:05:17.500 Yes.

00:05:18.460 I love it.

00:05:19.320 So speaking of comedy, like, how did you get into comedy?

00:05:23.540 Like, what was your like goal?

00:05:25.020 Have you always dreamt of being like, I know you were telling me earlier, you did stand up

00:05:28.820 for a while.

00:05:29.280 So it's like, has that always been kind of your goal or just entertainment in general?

00:05:33.160 I know you're a theater kid told me that too.

00:05:35.420 I didn't just assume he told me that.

00:05:37.940 There was no assumptions, although it would be so safe.

00:05:40.520 It would be such a safe assumption.

00:05:42.120 It'd be really, really obvious.

00:05:43.500 I'm like, okay, I'm right on set.

00:05:47.640 I, yeah.

00:05:48.500 When did I, hmm, good question.

00:05:51.200 I, um, I would say that I've been sort of entertaining my whole life in the way that

00:05:56.700 I am the youngest child.

00:05:59.640 Yeah.

00:06:00.240 And so, yeah, gotta show up.

00:06:02.460 You gotta, you gotta get attention.

00:06:03.880 Right.

00:06:04.120 You gotta get attention and you can't, you're never off, you know, like it's never, the

00:06:08.140 work never stops.

00:06:09.180 The grind never stops.

00:06:10.720 No, I was like, I'm the youngest of three by kind of a lot.

00:06:14.260 So everyone was like a lot older than me.

00:06:16.000 Really?

00:06:16.320 Um, yeah.

00:06:17.640 And I wasn't a mistake is what my parents say.

00:06:20.880 Um, which is like, it's no worries if I was mom.

00:06:25.560 By the way, it's okay.

00:06:27.620 My mom's somehow watching this live.

00:06:28.960 I'm like, mom.

00:06:30.160 Please.

00:06:30.820 Um, I, yeah.

00:06:32.040 So I was the youngest of three.

00:06:33.560 I, um, you know, I just look, I could, I wanted to break the tension wherever I could.

00:06:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:06:40.740 Yeah.

00:06:40.900 So if that meant that I was sort of standing on the table, doing a little, you know, whatever

00:06:46.420 was going to get people laughing kind of thing.

00:06:48.740 Yeah.

00:06:49.100 And then, and then it's just too much encouragement.

00:06:51.480 I think at that point, um, they thought I was chasing the high, right?

00:06:55.760 Like I was like, what can we do?

00:06:57.900 You felt that rush and you're like, I can never not feel that ever again.

00:07:01.260 Exactly.

00:07:01.920 Exactly.

00:07:02.320 So it was sort of chasing that forever.

00:07:04.220 And then, and then, yeah, just kind of stand up.

00:07:07.840 I mean, I, and I feel like we were kind of talking about this before stand up.

00:07:11.360 I love it and I love to do it, but also it is like one of the sickest ways that you can

00:07:17.900 make people laugh and that it's just, you want to stage with a microphone.

00:07:20.900 Yeah.

00:07:21.280 Like that's so like circus, you know what I mean?

00:07:23.380 It's so upsetting.

00:07:24.340 It is.

00:07:24.860 It's kind of like, and it's also, I feel like the energy is so different because especially

00:07:30.420 if you go into like random comedy clubs, which is how everyone starts, like they kind of

00:07:34.020 just start trying to work their way into sets and it's just a bunch of people just looking

00:07:38.160 at you.

00:07:38.740 Right.

00:07:39.160 They're like, okay, make me laugh.

00:07:41.040 Prove yourself.

00:07:41.820 Go ahead.

00:07:42.440 Right.

00:07:42.860 And especially if they're drinking.

00:07:44.220 Oh my God.

00:07:45.000 Yeah.

00:07:45.980 They're, they're either, they either want to just be up there with you or they want you

00:07:52.060 off the stage.

00:07:53.700 Do you ever get like unsolicited when you were doing stand up a lot too?

00:07:57.160 Do you get like, you said earlier that, you know, sometimes it's like, you know,

00:08:00.420 there's just three men and they all want to give you jokes to put in your set.

00:08:04.860 Yeah.

00:08:05.380 Yeah.

00:08:05.820 Has that happened to you?

00:08:07.600 You know, um, I, I think I've been lucky in that I haven't been faced with like that

00:08:14.020 many brutal, like I've been so fortunate to come up in live comedy in a time where I think

00:08:19.000 it's becoming less male dominated, less like there's more queer people.

00:08:24.200 But I will say the first like intro to stand up comedy class I ever took, um, there, it

00:08:32.800 was me and my partner and then the rest of the class was just like these like sis, I would

00:08:38.180 say like yuppie millennial men, which we love.

00:08:41.920 I love, I love those people.

00:08:43.900 Um, but, um, it was like, it was kind of like, even when they weren't on stage, they were

00:08:49.420 just trying to get the joke in.

00:08:51.200 Yeah.

00:08:51.720 And on the first day we were going around saying names.

00:08:55.960 Yeah.

00:08:56.300 Um, and then like, as we were going, the teacher sort of like clocked me and my partner and

00:09:00.940 we're like, Oh, and also say pronouns.

00:09:02.420 And then, um, this guy was the first to go and he was like, Hey, I don't remember his

00:09:18.260 name.

00:09:18.420 He's like, Hey, I'm, um, Adam.

00:09:20.700 Um, he, him, I, me.

00:09:24.460 And it was like, he's just saying pronouns.

00:09:30.240 It's not like his, no, he, she, he's like, and we, and, and all of us and us together.

00:09:41.180 It turns into a speech.

00:09:42.800 Yeah.

00:09:43.440 Everyone's like, wait a minute, Adam, you're so smart.

00:09:46.520 So, you know, like moments like those, I was kind of like, this is actually, to me, that's

00:09:53.080 beautiful.

00:09:54.460 Like progress, not overnight.

00:09:57.860 No, no, not overnight.

00:09:59.480 Yeah.

00:09:59.820 Yeah.

00:10:00.320 Grateful for it.

00:10:01.260 Love.

00:10:01.860 I love an ally.

00:10:02.800 Right.

00:10:03.240 The teacher's just like silent.

00:10:04.500 She's like, okay, next.

00:10:05.600 Like, and, and pronouns too for everyone.

00:10:11.640 Not just for me.

00:10:13.100 Yeah.

00:10:13.560 Yeah.

00:10:13.900 The way he's just kind of like, yeah.

00:10:15.280 So my name's fucking Adam.

00:10:16.820 Yeah.

00:10:17.520 Yeah.

00:10:18.020 And you're welcome.

00:10:18.580 By the way, I had, um, this is like not, Oh shit.

00:10:23.700 Sorry.

00:10:23.920 This is not the same thing necessarily, but I do remember when I was in college, I was

00:10:29.200 a journalism and communications major and I had to take a bunch of column classes and

00:10:33.820 a lot of communications majors.

00:10:35.040 I feel like they're like, Oh, communications.

00:10:37.180 Cause it's like easy.

00:10:38.100 There's just like a million fucking classes you have to take in order to graduate with the degree.

00:10:42.660 So I had random classes with like random people.

00:10:45.720 It wasn't always like the same core people, but I always had dudes that were like, they

00:10:51.900 didn't know what the fuck they wanted to do.

00:10:53.760 They just are a popular guy.

00:10:55.400 And they were like, uh, my fucking counselor said communications.

00:10:58.380 So I had lots of dudes like that in my classes.

00:11:00.860 I remember there was this one guy who was like super popular on my campus.

00:11:04.200 Like everybody loved that dude.

00:11:05.700 Amazing.

00:11:06.180 And I was like, yeah, so, so smart.

00:11:11.420 So open.

00:11:12.460 So empathetic.

00:11:13.140 Um, and I, I will never forget this, but I remember we were in one of my intro classes.

00:11:19.220 I think it was like my freshman year and it was kind of a big class.

00:11:22.660 There's probably like 40, 50 of us.

00:11:24.960 And my teacher was like, yeah, you know, let's just go.

00:11:27.960 Um, um, we'll go through this syllabus really quick.

00:11:30.860 And he was like, um, asking random questions.

00:11:33.520 He's like, okay, so what, what do you guys, why do you guys think, uh, certain industries

00:11:38.940 are really popular in certain geographical areas?

00:11:42.300 Cause it was a communications, but specifically around media and how it communicates to culture

00:11:46.860 and stuff.

00:11:47.580 So he was like, like, for example, the video game industry is really, really huge in Asia.

00:11:52.540 Um, and he was saying like, there's just a huge market there.

00:11:55.740 Why do you guys think that is dude?

00:11:58.840 I think it's important.

00:11:59.820 I mentioned this man that I'm about to talk about is white, obviously.

00:12:03.500 So he, he go, he raises his hand.

00:12:06.260 No binder, by the way, no pencil, no backpack.

00:12:08.760 No, he had one singular shaker cup and that should have told me everything.

00:12:14.760 I feel like it gave me enough information just off that alone.

00:12:18.340 And then he had one of those like, uh, stringers that like the nipples are out.

00:12:22.280 So it's like, what's the point of the shirt?

00:12:23.660 You know what I'm saying?

00:12:24.360 Yeah.

00:12:24.760 And so he's in class.

00:12:26.200 Yeah.

00:12:26.500 Okay.

00:12:27.180 Yeah.

00:12:27.360 So, and it's freezing in there.

00:12:28.660 So it's hard pointy and he's sitting there and he's like, yeah, uh, okay.

00:12:33.100 So fucking, I guess like, he's literally talking like that.

00:12:36.220 Um, I would probably say, you know, probably cause of games like fruit ninja, like those

00:12:42.120 are super popular over there.

00:12:43.060 Probably because like they have ninjas and I'm dead serious.

00:12:46.540 That's exactly what he said.

00:12:48.280 That's a verbatim quote.

00:12:50.280 Mind you, my teacher is Asian.

00:12:52.540 Okay.

00:12:52.900 And my teacher's like, okay, so does anyone else have an answer?

00:12:58.040 Like he just like completely didn't acknowledge it.

00:13:01.020 And he was like, like laughing with his buddy.

00:13:04.560 And I was like, oh, I fucking hate that guy.

00:13:06.260 Oh my God.

00:13:07.100 And he, um, failed the class.

00:13:08.900 I don't know if that's shocking to anyone.

00:13:10.680 Shocking to hear.

00:13:12.160 Those are my favorite kinds of guys to get in class.

00:13:14.400 No, it's like, thanks for that contribution.

00:13:17.620 Thank you so much.

00:13:18.760 Thank you so much.

00:13:19.660 And just kind of like, I mean, the thing is, is like, I was going to say, I wonder what

00:13:24.500 he's up to now, but it's like, he's probably super successful.

00:13:28.280 That's the worst part, isn't it?

00:13:29.980 It's like, he's probably somewhere, unfortunately making so much money.

00:13:33.700 That's the worst fucking part, isn't it?

00:13:36.060 And you know, what's funny is you're probably right because I know for a fact he came from

00:13:39.780 money.

00:13:40.420 And you don't walk into, of course he came from money.

00:13:43.080 Of course he did.

00:13:43.780 You don't walk into a classroom like that unless you come from money.

00:13:45.960 Unless you're like, I'm here.

00:13:48.220 Does he doesn't even know college costs money?

00:13:50.180 No, he doesn't.

00:13:50.780 He's like, I just thought this is what everybody does.

00:13:52.620 Yeah.

00:13:52.740 They just kind of show up.

00:13:53.780 Just is this where am I right now?

00:13:56.340 Like, have you ever, uh, cause this kind of alludes to our topic, but like, have you

00:14:01.400 ever gotten like unsolicited advice when you were in comedy theater, whatever it was

00:14:06.140 from men specifically, where they're kind of like, you know what you got to do?

00:14:10.000 And they just start, you're like, I didn't ask, but I mean, it is kind of like one of

00:14:14.820 those things that I do think it, I think it spills out of them.

00:14:21.020 I think that they don't even, almost like a, they can't help it.

00:14:24.580 I think it's just the way that they think to relate to people.

00:14:27.400 Well, and, and in the comedy space, it's always fascinating because it is so rare that

00:14:32.820 I find men funny just generally, like, and I mean that like, not even in a way where

00:14:39.060 I'm like, I'm trying to be funny.

00:14:40.760 Like, no, you're right.

00:14:41.480 You're right.

00:14:41.840 It's so rare.

00:14:42.280 We're like, you're right.

00:14:42.860 You know?

00:14:43.280 And I mean, and obviously you explore this in your work, but it's like, it is often well

00:14:48.200 because they have nothing to say or they're like grasping at things to say, but I,

00:14:52.140 or they do say has been said thousands, if not millions of times.

00:14:56.020 So it's kind of like, okay.

00:14:57.300 And they're sort of like in their brain and I genuinely think it's like, because of their

00:15:03.240 ego.

00:15:03.820 Yeah.

00:15:04.500 Like they, they do believe that they are reinventing the wheel.

00:15:07.600 Like they're saying it and they're like, I actually am the first person to say that.

00:15:10.980 They believe it.

00:15:11.800 Can you believe it?

00:15:12.660 They're like, wait, has nobody ever talked about like, why aren't more people talking

00:15:16.220 about this?

00:15:16.840 Like, oh my God.

00:15:17.620 He's like, what?

00:15:18.720 This joke writes itself.

00:15:19.860 This is so brilliant.

00:15:21.060 Like, has anybody noticed that my girlfriend's kind of annoying?

00:15:24.220 She's kind of a fucking bitch.

00:15:28.160 Wait, has anybody talked about this on stage before?

00:15:31.580 I think I just cracked something.

00:15:33.360 Like, so it's, that element is always super fascinating.

00:15:36.660 Yeah.

00:15:37.520 And I mean, I think that again, because I've been like lucky enough to be in this comedy

00:15:42.700 spaces that I've been in, I haven't interfaced with it a ton, but I did have like, and thank

00:15:47.460 God.

00:15:47.760 And I'm so grateful genuinely.

00:15:48.900 Um, but I did, I have had like, like I did a show, um, I was doing, I'm have like a longer

00:15:56.400 show that I do sometimes.

00:15:57.360 And I did, um, a version of it in New York last year.

00:16:00.940 Okay.

00:16:01.540 And I did have this guy come up to me after my show and he was being like, I really felt

00:16:09.080 like he was speaking from the bottom of his heart.

00:16:10.760 Like, and, and I was ready to hear him.

00:16:12.880 It was also like so classic that it was like immediate, like the show had just closed.

00:16:16.460 I did like a three show run show closes.

00:16:18.920 I'm like trying to find my friends.

00:16:20.660 Yeah.

00:16:20.860 You're like feeling good.

00:16:22.000 You're like, Oh my God.

00:16:22.960 I'm like holding flowers.

00:16:23.820 I'm like, Oh, that was so fun.

00:16:25.100 And I, and out of nowhere, of course, comes in a man I've never met before in my entire

00:16:29.280 life.

00:16:29.780 Has to.

00:16:30.200 And he's like, oh my God.

00:16:31.880 And I'm like, hi.

00:16:32.520 Thinking like, maybe I don't, maybe I don't know him.

00:16:34.680 Yeah.

00:16:35.360 I think I don't know him.

00:16:36.360 Yeah.

00:16:36.760 And he's, um, and he kind of proceeds to just, he's like, he explains my show to me just in

00:16:42.420 a quick, like in a really nice elevator pitch.

00:16:44.380 He's kind of like, he's like, gives you like a synopsis.

00:16:47.320 Yeah.

00:16:47.500 He's like, so your show was about like coming of age and, and gender by the way.

00:16:53.480 And I'm like, Oh, thanks.

00:16:54.440 Like I wrote it.

00:16:55.420 You're right.

00:16:56.060 You're right.

00:16:56.620 I I'm well aware, but yeah.

00:16:58.000 Thank you.

00:16:58.640 And then he just kind of explains to me that it's towing the line between many genres.

00:17:05.500 Like, he just like sort of starts lecturing me as though we're in a class discussing a

00:17:10.120 different, like, and genuinely like, what was the goal?

00:17:13.620 Like, that was kind of my question at the end.

00:17:15.960 Cause it was one of those moments where I sort of started to like lose myself in his

00:17:19.400 eyes.

00:17:20.000 And I was like, I was like, wait a minute.

00:17:22.120 You're like, like you see yourself looking down at yourself and you're like, right.

00:17:26.500 What am I doing here?

00:17:27.260 What would I think of these two people?

00:17:30.240 Who are they?

00:17:31.240 I think your brain's going like, yeah.

00:17:32.980 While he's talking and you're like, damn, I missed the last two minutes of what he was

00:17:36.020 saying.

00:17:36.440 I'm like, I'm like, so sweaty.

00:17:40.580 I've just performed.

00:17:41.200 I'm like, uh-huh.

00:17:42.600 And, um, basically his point was that I should, I should just think about that.

00:17:49.140 That was kind of where he was like, and just, and just, you should know that, which I.

00:17:54.840 And then you're like, you know what?

00:17:55.780 I am going to think about it a lot.

00:17:56.980 Cause I have no idea.

00:17:57.960 Cause I don't know what's going on.

00:17:59.480 What the fuck you were telling me.

00:18:00.640 Like, I found it so funny.

00:18:02.160 And it's like grand scheme of things.

00:18:03.800 Like, sure.

00:18:04.820 Men have said like definitely like weirder and worse things to me, but it's also like

00:18:07.740 in that moment, it just felt so incredible that like he, he was making like, like people

00:18:13.000 were waiting for him, you know, like he was like holding up people.

00:18:15.880 Hold on.

00:18:16.260 I have to tell.

00:18:17.040 He's like, I have to tell.

00:18:17.840 And it was just to explain my show to me.

00:18:19.820 There wasn't really a compliment in there.

00:18:21.640 Like the point wasn't like, and you did it so well.

00:18:23.260 It was just like, I figured it out.

00:18:25.600 EJ, by the way, I couldn't figure it out.

00:18:29.600 And I did.

00:18:30.260 And I did.

00:18:31.080 And I was like, thank you so much for coming needle in the haystack, but I picked it up.

00:18:34.800 All right.

00:18:35.240 I was like, wait a minute.

00:18:36.160 I think you're a genius.

00:18:38.860 You figured it out.

00:18:40.240 You're so smart.

00:18:41.240 Good job.

00:18:42.020 Great job.

00:18:42.980 Thank you.

00:18:43.920 I love it.

00:18:45.040 Yeah.

00:18:45.600 That's so funny.

00:18:47.400 We meet beautiful people every day.

00:18:48.400 Those are honestly my favorite.

00:18:51.480 Ironically, it's like, I enjoy it so much more when men like genuinely believe they're

00:18:57.880 helping you.

00:18:59.140 I enjoy that.

00:19:00.580 I'm like, when they, when they talk to me and they're like, yeah, it's just like, here's

00:19:03.760 a thing.

00:19:04.380 And they start, and it's very condescending.

00:19:06.900 And it's very, it's also so insulting to your intelligence.

00:19:10.680 Cause they're like, they're not going to get it.

00:19:12.900 Have to break it down.

00:19:14.200 Yeah.

00:19:14.620 So they like, he's explaining your show to you and you're like, okay.

00:19:20.960 Yeah.

00:19:21.400 And then he's like, yeah, anyways, you're welcome, dude.

00:19:26.740 He tells you, and then you're like, thanks.

00:19:30.580 It's always so fun to think about like what they wanted to happen.

00:19:34.360 Yeah.

00:19:34.460 Like what was the goal?

00:19:35.600 I'm so, that's a girl.

00:19:36.420 That was kind of my question.

00:19:38.280 Uh, yeah, I think that's, that's my favorite kind of like weird advice.

00:19:43.260 Like they're like, here are my thoughts.

00:19:45.920 Yes.

00:19:46.360 Oh, okay.

00:19:47.660 Person I just met.

00:19:48.540 But I would love to hear your thoughts on, I, I, that's why I was curious if you had

00:19:52.920 ever gotten like unsolicited advice.

00:19:54.760 Cause I feel like, especially when you do any fashion of like entertainment, when it comes

00:19:59.720 to like either live performance, comedy, whatever it may be, there's always one that like when

00:20:05.220 they watch you perform, they want to tell you what they think you could do better.

00:20:09.480 Totally.

00:20:09.840 And they were sitting in the audience the entire time.

00:20:11.920 Like they're not on your team.

00:20:13.320 They're not like a colleague.

00:20:14.480 They're not a friend.

00:20:15.120 They're not a mentor.

00:20:15.720 They bought a ticket.

00:20:16.380 Yeah.

00:20:16.660 They bought a ticket.

00:20:17.460 They sat down and they watched, like that was it.

00:20:19.820 Yeah.

00:20:20.260 I think that I also get that version of it, which is like people and it feels really well

00:20:25.080 intentioned.

00:20:25.660 Yeah.

00:20:26.180 Um, and I, I do, you know, not to victim blame myself, but I do think that like I, people

00:20:32.460 perceive me as very young.

00:20:34.840 And how old are you?

00:20:36.320 And I'm 12.

00:20:37.520 Um, so no, I mean, I'm seventh grade.

00:20:41.980 Um, things are changing.

00:20:43.620 No.

00:20:44.020 Oh God.

00:20:44.720 I, um, I'm 26.

00:20:46.520 Okay.

00:20:46.900 I'm turning 27 next month.

00:20:48.280 Period.

00:20:48.960 Um, but I, you know, a lot of people who have never seen like a trans person in their life

00:20:54.360 are sort of like, what's going on?

00:20:56.020 Fair.

00:20:56.540 Maybe.

00:20:57.080 Okay.

00:20:57.700 Sure.

00:20:58.660 And we, and we love that.

00:21:00.400 Um, yeah.

00:21:01.500 I'm like nothing, trans people have nothing more than you paying way too close attention

00:21:06.440 to them.

00:21:06.980 Yeah.

00:21:07.160 They love that we, and I think we should all kind of more, we should take out our

00:21:12.000 microscopes, um, and just kind of ask the hard questions.

00:21:15.160 But I, um, but yeah, when people have never sort of seen anyone like me, you know, they

00:21:21.520 think that genuine, like it happens in a lot of versions.

00:21:26.320 I was on a plane recently and I was sitting in the exit row and the flight attendant came

00:21:31.160 and was doing the spiel of, you know, are you willing and able to help or whatever?

00:21:35.640 Yeah.

00:21:35.700 Um, and then she sort of looked at everyone in the row and then stopped at me and goes,

00:21:40.300 um, and are you older than 15?

00:21:44.220 And I, and I always include this detail cause it feels so critical.

00:21:47.480 I was wearing a leather trench coat.

00:21:49.780 Like, I feel like, I'm like, what?

00:21:53.480 They're like, Inspector Gadget, are you 18 or older?

00:21:55.980 They're like, and what's under the coat?

00:21:57.360 I'm like, ah!

00:21:59.120 Then you flash them and you're all, does this look 15?

00:22:01.900 Yeah, they're like, oh my god.

00:22:02.820 Didn't think so.

00:22:03.720 Right.

00:22:04.000 Yeah.

00:22:04.060 No, exactly.

00:22:07.440 Like, I was like, what?

00:22:09.300 I don't know.

00:22:09.840 I mean, I was flying out of New York.

00:22:10.980 I feel like 14 year olds in New York are wearing really cool clothes.

00:22:15.100 Like, you know, to sort of props to myself.

00:22:17.520 But, um, anyway.

00:22:19.320 So just like moments like that where I'm like, okay, so the world is viewing me in a lot of

00:22:23.480 really interesting ways.

00:22:24.420 Not in any of, and I wouldn't say any of them are accurate, but they are very different.

00:22:29.660 They are really interesting to kind of take stock of, but, um, I, so, and I'm like, what

00:22:35.260 were we talking about?

00:22:36.060 My trench coat?

00:22:36.720 No.

00:22:37.100 Okay.

00:22:37.360 Um, the, so I think that people give me advice in a way where they think you're like young.

00:22:44.380 Yeah.

00:22:44.840 Even if they're literally at a standup show that I'm doing in a 21 plus venue, they're

00:22:51.520 like, there's a kid on stage who needs my help and he needed my help.

00:22:56.940 He needs my help.

00:22:57.920 And I think I have something, I think I can help.

00:23:00.400 Like, I think I have things to tell him that might be useful.

00:23:02.740 And so I think the tone is kind of sometimes that where it's very condescending.

00:23:06.620 Hey kiddo, come on over here.

00:23:09.440 Come on down here.

00:23:10.540 Sweetie pie.

00:23:11.080 Come here.

00:23:13.100 They tussle my hair.

00:23:14.200 They're like, you did so many things up there.

00:23:16.280 Yeah.

00:23:16.500 They're like, you were so good.

00:23:18.460 I'm so proud of you.

00:23:19.540 Yeah.

00:23:19.760 I'm like, well, thanks.

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00:24:22.040 That's so annoying.

00:24:24.100 I don't know how you do that.

00:24:25.520 That is so annoying.

00:24:26.740 It is.

00:24:27.200 It's ickly.

00:24:27.600 Damn.

00:24:27.960 Yeah.

00:24:28.400 That's like, I feel like it's similar but not like for me.

00:24:33.520 The very few times I am in settings where there's like, it's like my family and then

00:24:38.340 like a bunch of random people I don't know.

00:24:41.740 I never really do stuff like that anymore because I do this for a living now.

00:24:45.120 It's just, I've learned the hard way.

00:24:46.980 It's exhausting sometimes.

00:24:48.160 But sometimes when I go, like no one really says anything to me, which I appreciate if

00:24:52.080 it's just like a family party or something like that.

00:24:54.720 But sometimes I'll go and there will be random men there whose wives or girlfriends are like

00:24:59.340 really big fans of mine and they know me.

00:25:01.600 And then they'll tell them to come talk to me.

00:25:04.640 And then when men come and talk to me, which is so strange because I'm like, I would rather

00:25:08.500 you come up to me than send your man who doesn't give a fuck about me.

00:25:11.980 But more specifically, a man who I know and can tell does not like me.

00:25:16.220 Like, I just know they don't fuck with the content.

00:25:18.680 That's actually like violent.

00:25:19.940 Yeah.

00:25:21.460 That's actually insane.

00:25:23.240 But sometimes they'll come up to me and they'll be like, hey, like my girlfriend's like really

00:25:28.040 big fan.

00:25:28.760 And I'm like, oh, cool.

00:25:30.360 And it's awkward.

00:25:31.220 Like we're just looking at each other.

00:25:32.720 Nothing to say to each other.

00:25:33.540 No, it's like those videos of dogs when they like you're videoing them and then they're

00:25:37.160 like, that's literally how I feel when they come up to me.

00:25:41.020 He's like standing over.

00:25:41.980 You're like eating your dinner.

00:25:42.820 You're like, hi.

00:25:43.560 Hey, you're tall.

00:25:46.060 I was like, and I'm like, okay, cool.

00:25:48.220 Is she here?

00:25:49.020 Because like, why are you talking to me?

00:25:50.640 Oh my God.

00:25:51.040 That's so weird to do.

00:25:52.500 Yeah.

00:25:52.520 And if it's a personal setting, like, like a setting where we're like both at a party or

00:25:56.580 something, sometimes they'll literally sit with me and they'll be like, yeah, you know,

00:25:59.980 like, so I'm familiar, like with what you do.

00:26:02.940 And that always feels like a threat.

00:26:04.480 If it's a man and they say it in that tone and I'm like, oh yeah.

00:26:09.700 Yeah.

00:26:10.040 What are your thoughts?

00:26:11.240 And then they're like, oh, you know, I don't really watch social media like that.

00:26:14.780 Like it immediately shifts.

00:26:16.340 So I'm like, that's fine.

00:26:17.480 If you don't want to tell me to my face, that's cool.

00:26:19.320 What are we doing?

00:26:20.660 Why are you talking to me?

00:26:21.660 Right.

00:26:22.180 And why don't you try acting like a person?

00:26:23.900 Right.

00:26:24.860 Or don't talk to me at all.

00:26:26.380 You don't have to approach anybody.

00:26:28.680 And that's what people don't understand.

00:26:30.660 Yeah.

00:26:30.820 You don't have to do that.

00:26:32.640 You don't have to ever.

00:26:33.820 You can actually just keep doing your thing and I'll do my thing and we'll ignore each

00:26:38.840 other.

00:26:39.220 Amazing.

00:26:39.700 That's always like most marginalized people would prefer that you just ignore them.

00:26:44.180 That's yeah.

00:26:45.040 Yeah.

00:26:45.280 They're just like, just leave me alone.

00:26:46.760 I'm going to leave you alone.

00:26:48.240 You leave me alone.

00:26:49.280 Let's just do it together.

00:26:50.500 Right.

00:26:50.720 I'm just at the grocery store.

00:26:53.340 I'm just, I'm just doing my thing.

00:26:55.280 Yeah.

00:26:55.800 It's like, and I, I've joked about this with my mom too, but I'm like, sometimes when

00:26:59.820 someone will come up to me and I could tell, like you said, there are good intentions there,

00:27:03.680 but there's also a very clear ignorance that I can see too, to which I'm like, I'm not

00:27:08.280 going to get mad at you, but also I don't want to waste time talking to you.

00:27:10.960 It's like you just doing like giving me unsolicited advice or like talking about shit like that

00:27:17.220 I don't agree with.

00:27:18.080 And I don't want to have to disagree with you here.

00:27:19.920 You know what I'm saying?

00:27:20.640 Trying to like start sort of an intellectual debate.

00:27:23.400 Yeah.

00:27:23.440 They're like, well, I mean, let's have a discussion about it.

00:27:25.800 I don't want to.

00:27:26.600 No.

00:27:26.780 No, thanks.

00:27:27.560 That's not, that's not your job.

00:27:30.040 I was like, oh, no, no, thank you.

00:27:32.640 Amazing.

00:27:33.100 I don't want to do that.

00:27:33.780 Yeah.

00:27:34.140 No, not for me.

00:27:35.640 I tell people that too when they're like, oh, why don't you debate people?

00:27:38.140 Cause I don't want to.

00:27:39.280 That's not fun.

00:27:40.180 You know, nothing about that is fun.

00:27:41.640 I say this with all the love in my heart, but like my partner was a nationally ranking

00:27:47.080 debate champion.

00:27:48.040 Period.

00:27:48.440 Which we love.

00:27:49.600 Period.

00:27:49.780 It's amazing.

00:27:50.260 But like, there's something so crazy about that to me that people like to debate.

00:27:56.300 I, I'm, someone tries to debate me.

00:27:58.440 I, my body's like firing off signals that I don't even, you know, I'm like sweat dripping

00:28:03.360 down my back.

00:28:04.140 Like, I'm like, I'm like crying a little bit, you know, like it's a really intense moment

00:28:10.700 to be in.

00:28:11.240 Yeah.

00:28:11.540 My sister, she makes the funniest like quips about anyone trying to debate her about

00:28:16.740 literally anything.

00:28:18.160 Like if someone, if she says something and someone's like, no, I think it's this.

00:28:22.160 And she goes, I don't think so.

00:28:24.560 And then they're like, no, it is.

00:28:25.580 Like if they get intense like that, she goes, oh, I don't care.

00:28:28.720 Like she says that every, that's not a joke.

00:28:30.740 She says it every time.

00:28:31.600 It doesn't matter who it is.

00:28:32.380 That's so genius.

00:28:32.800 Yeah.

00:28:33.140 Oh, well, I don't care.

00:28:34.380 So yeah, it's okay.

00:28:35.880 Yeah.

00:28:36.240 No worries.

00:28:36.900 Yeah.

00:28:37.720 Nothing is ever that serious.

00:28:39.260 It's not.

00:28:40.140 Nothing is ever that serious.

00:28:41.260 Oh my God.

00:28:41.920 I promise it's not.

00:28:42.740 That's why, that's how I feel about like the debate shit.

00:28:45.180 I'm like, why the fuck would it?

00:28:46.300 There is nothing fun about that.

00:28:47.900 No, no.

00:28:48.800 I'm here to tell jokes.

00:28:50.600 I'm here to laugh, laugh, laugh.

00:28:52.620 I'm here.

00:28:52.960 I'm here to have a silly, goofy time.

00:28:55.240 That's it.

00:28:55.800 Oh my God.

00:28:56.480 I have nothing else on the, on the agenda, but that.

00:28:58.800 The debate thing is so hard because a lot of people are really, really good at talking.

00:29:05.220 They're so good at talking and I just like, I just don't care.

00:29:08.580 And they're quick and they've got the facts and it's really, it's really hard.

00:29:13.340 Well, and I'm a Virgo.

00:29:14.780 Are you a Pisces or Aquaries?

00:29:15.740 I'm a Pisces.

00:29:16.580 Period.

00:29:17.960 I know Pisces men get a bad rap, but my dad's a Pisces.

00:29:21.200 Okay.

00:29:21.460 He's great.

00:29:22.100 Great.

00:29:22.780 I like, I like Pisces men.

00:29:24.260 I will say like, since honestly transitioning is the first that I've heard about Pisces men

00:29:29.140 getting a bad rap, which is sort of understandable as that now I am one.

00:29:34.340 And that's what I'm saying.

00:29:35.120 I don't agree with that stereotype.

00:29:36.800 Which I really appreciate because I mean, first of all, Pisces, you know, we're just feeling

00:29:42.300 a lot of things all the time.

00:29:43.560 Period.

00:29:44.020 Yeah.

00:29:44.260 I think that's why from my understanding of it is like Pisces men are, are almost too

00:29:50.100 emotionally in tune to a point where they can be manipulative.

00:29:53.580 I see.

00:29:54.400 Because they're too aware.

00:29:55.520 Like they have too much information about emotions and how they work with women, especially.

00:30:00.280 I could see that.

00:30:01.200 I think that's why.

00:30:02.200 I could totally see that.

00:30:03.360 And I want to retract what I said earlier.

00:30:05.980 If that's okay.

00:30:06.920 Pisces men, I see how they could be totally problematic.

00:30:10.180 And I agree.

00:30:12.060 Like to change my statement.

00:30:13.400 Just covering all the bases.

00:30:15.740 I was going to say as a Virgo, because I'm a Virgo, I'm a huge know-it-all.

00:30:20.180 Like that's part of me being a Virgo, but also just like me as a person, unfortunately.

00:30:24.220 So when I was a kid, I used to like get really upset about like being wrong.

00:30:30.120 As I got older, I was kind of like, hey, who gives a fuck?

00:30:32.820 Like I have way too many things going on up here to care that much about that.

00:30:39.500 Yeah.

00:30:39.900 Like about things that don't matter, like debating about things that don't matter or debating

00:30:43.820 people who are committed to misunderstanding you and trying to change their mind.

00:30:48.780 Like I'm not going to do that.

00:30:49.800 No, because it's not going to happen.

00:30:51.620 It's never going to work.

00:30:52.740 What's the, there's a saying, you mobilize comrades and you forget about the other people

00:30:59.260 or something like that.

00:31:00.460 I bet that's exactly what it is.

00:31:02.260 This is like doing other stuff.

00:31:05.420 And that's so real.

00:31:06.640 Yeah.

00:31:06.980 That's such a great quote.

00:31:08.000 I hold on to that.

00:31:09.140 Yeah.

00:31:09.580 I live by that.

00:31:10.560 Because you're going to know if someone wants, if you're going to have a productive conversation

00:31:13.800 with someone.

00:31:14.340 Like, I mean, for me personally, and maybe this is related to me being a Pisces, like, I

00:31:18.540 feel like if I'm going to have a productive conversation with someone about something important,

00:31:22.620 it's going to have to be like the tenderest environment in the world.

00:31:26.260 I mean, maybe we're holding hands.

00:31:28.620 It's going to have to be like, they're complimenting me every other sentence.

00:31:32.880 It's like a safe environment.

00:31:35.140 I'm like, oh, you know, oh, there's a loud noise, you know, that kind of thing.

00:31:39.240 It's very, so that's basically, I think my stance on like politics and debate.

00:31:46.960 And maybe there should be more handholding.

00:31:48.740 Maybe we'd all get along.

00:31:50.400 Honestly, maybe there should be.

00:31:52.500 A little bit more physical touch in a nice, calm way.

00:31:55.920 Nice, consensual way.

00:31:56.980 In a normal.

00:31:57.720 Yep.

00:31:58.080 Yeah.

00:31:58.500 I think it's like, I've actually seen that before with like relationship, like therapists.

00:32:04.720 They've talked about when you're arguing, if you both sit down or hold hands, it immediately

00:32:09.820 de-escalates.

00:32:10.820 I, it's really interesting.

00:32:13.100 I mean, 100%.

00:32:14.460 That's like my bread and butter.

00:32:15.920 Yeah.

00:32:17.260 Holding hands.

00:32:18.460 Sitting down.

00:32:20.960 Please hold me.

00:32:22.720 No, that's critical.

00:32:23.960 Yeah.

00:32:24.260 I feel like, like you said, it's like the safe environment thing is very true, especially

00:32:29.600 if you want to have an actual honest conversation.

00:32:32.660 Yeah.

00:32:32.800 But when you're talking to someone who just wants to wait till you're done talking so they

00:32:36.140 could start yelling.

00:32:37.800 No, thanks.

00:32:38.720 No.

00:32:38.880 That's why my sister's attitude of like, oh, I don't care.

00:32:42.820 Powerful.

00:32:43.320 It's so powerful.

00:32:44.040 Like you say that to any man, like, I don't give a fuck.

00:32:46.660 It's completely destabilizing.

00:32:48.160 Yeah.

00:32:48.460 They're like, well, you're supposed to give a fuck because then I have to give a fuck.

00:32:52.180 Like that's the natural turn of events.

00:32:54.140 Yeah.

00:32:54.940 And that's why sometimes when I say that, they'll say things like, oh, it's because you're afraid.

00:32:59.260 Okay.

00:32:59.820 Yeah.

00:33:00.300 Whatever makes you feel better.

00:33:01.320 Right.

00:33:01.940 You need that.

00:33:03.220 I don't.

00:33:03.660 Right.

00:33:03.920 It's like, you said it.

00:33:05.100 Yeah.

00:33:05.280 You're kind of scared of me.

00:33:07.620 Yeah.

00:33:07.980 I was like, you do scare me in other ways, but like, I'm just like, I don't give a shit

00:33:12.600 because that does nothing for me.

00:33:14.420 Like, it's almost like peer pressure.

00:33:16.200 I know peer pressure is a thing.

00:33:17.680 Don't get me wrong.

00:33:19.020 But I.

00:33:21.240 Now I'll debate you on that.

00:33:22.360 Yeah.

00:33:22.520 I think I know peer pressure is a thing that happens.

00:33:26.140 I don't succumb to peer pressure literally ever because no one's ever going to tell me

00:33:30.440 what to do.

00:33:31.040 So if someone's like, oh, it's because you're a chicken.

00:33:33.320 I'm always like, no, I'm really not going to do it.

00:33:35.440 Right.

00:33:36.260 Nothing's going to make me not do it more than that.

00:33:38.080 Yeah.

00:33:38.460 Like trying to goad.

00:33:39.740 I don't.

00:33:40.200 I don't fall for shit like that.

00:33:41.460 I'm from a negative place.

00:33:43.440 Like.

00:33:43.640 So negative.

00:33:44.700 I don't know why I'm like having this.

00:33:45.980 I'm very earthy.

00:33:46.980 It's true.

00:33:48.200 No, but you're so right though.

00:33:49.680 It's just like nothing about that moves me.

00:33:51.760 No, it's not.

00:33:52.540 I want to be inspired.

00:33:53.940 Yeah.

00:33:54.180 It doesn't move me.

00:33:55.180 I'm just kind of.

00:33:55.760 You're very like, okay.

00:33:57.640 Yeah.

00:33:59.480 Okay.

00:34:00.620 A little weird.

00:34:01.800 Yeah.

00:34:02.080 And I'm like, shut up.

00:34:03.700 Right.

00:34:04.140 I'm very like, now I'm really not doing it.

00:34:06.640 Right.

00:34:07.180 That just doesn't move me.

00:34:08.200 Like people trying to like, I don't know, like strong arm you or bully you and stuff.

00:34:12.440 Yeah.

00:34:12.920 You're just kind of like, okay, well.

00:34:14.740 Yeah.

00:34:15.300 Thank you.

00:34:15.860 Yeah.

00:34:16.300 Thank you.

00:34:17.320 Have a good one.

00:34:19.580 I'm not taking anything from this conversation.

00:34:21.860 Yeah.

00:34:22.240 Love you so much though.

00:34:23.300 Yeah, but I, but I love you and I believe in you.

00:34:27.080 Okay.

00:34:27.580 So that's actually a good transition into our topic today.

00:34:31.620 Cause we're going to be talking about why do horrible men online think they can give unsolicited relationship advice?

00:34:37.900 And EJ has a video where he's like, the prompt is your friend who's never once been rejected giving flirting advice.

00:34:44.760 I do remember that video.

00:34:47.020 Like, just look at them.

00:34:49.320 You got to look at them first and then that's it.

00:34:52.520 And they'll fall right into your lap.

00:34:55.980 What are you talking about?

00:34:58.240 You're like, okay, well that works for you.

00:35:01.140 I'm so glad to.

00:35:02.220 I know our, um, we talked about Brett.

00:35:06.960 Brett Neustrom was on the show and he posted a video recently where he was talking about how like people are always like, oh, you can't be with anyone until you love yourself.

00:35:14.280 And he's like, I'd like to try.

00:35:16.320 I'd like to try.

00:35:17.440 Um, you know what would fix all my problems?

00:35:18.820 Having someone sleeping in my bed every night.

00:35:20.080 That would fix my problems.

00:35:20.920 So let's try it.

00:35:22.180 Let's do it first.

00:35:23.220 Let's give it a, let's give it a shot.

00:35:24.660 Right.

00:35:24.800 Let's try how, how that works.

00:35:28.740 I honestly, how long have you been with your partner?

00:35:31.120 Like three years.

00:35:32.140 Okay.

00:35:32.400 I've been with mine going on seven.

00:35:34.220 So like, thank you.

00:35:36.680 Yeah.

00:35:37.260 Million and one years.

00:35:39.840 Thousands of fights.

00:35:41.460 Oh man.

00:35:42.340 Oh my God.

00:35:42.860 I joke about, um, like at the start of COVID, my boyfriend and I both got COVID even though

00:35:49.520 we were being super, super careful.

00:35:51.120 I never fucking left my house and we still got it.

00:35:53.080 And then we had to isolate.

00:35:53.940 And that was when isolation was like fucking 19, 20 days.

00:35:57.860 Yeah.

00:35:58.520 And, um, we isolated like that in a room.

00:36:01.720 Like that's like a four by six.

00:36:04.640 Girl, you want to test the strength of your relationship?

00:36:08.060 Do that.

00:36:08.720 That's isolated.

00:36:09.620 I was like, we broke up twice in there.

00:36:10.920 Yeah.

00:36:12.860 And I was like, sometimes I was like, I'm, I need to go somewhere.

00:36:15.520 And I would go in the bathroom, just sit in the tub, fully clothed, just sitting there

00:36:18.840 just to be alone.

00:36:19.780 Just to get, I mean, just physically get out of my face.

00:36:23.120 Just get out of my fucking face.

00:36:24.980 Get out of my face.

00:36:25.980 I was like, it's cause we're living in a shoe box.

00:36:28.240 Just the two of us.

00:36:29.000 Like we were like easily going to kill each other at some point or another.

00:36:32.720 It's so amazing.

00:36:33.820 The boundaries that kind of break down in moments like that.

00:36:35.760 It's kind of like, why does anyone like me?

00:36:38.640 And why does anyone like you?

00:36:39.820 Right.

00:36:40.320 Just spending too much time together.

00:36:41.900 There'd be like, your vibe is annoying.

00:36:45.720 They're just, they're not even saying anything.

00:36:47.900 That's kind of hurtful.

00:36:48.860 You're like, what am I supposed to do?

00:36:51.720 Look at you.

00:36:52.420 Right.

00:36:52.780 What am I supposed to do?

00:36:54.280 It's so bad.

00:36:55.200 But even like, you know, we've been in relationships for a while now.

00:36:57.940 Like, I don't ever give advice about that unless someone asked me.

00:37:02.540 And even then I'm always like, it, it's very specific to the person.

00:37:06.060 Like, it depends on you.

00:37:07.480 Like, I give such bad dating advice.

00:37:09.080 It's crazy.

00:37:10.060 It's crazy.

00:37:10.500 And I always feel like such an idiot.

00:37:11.940 I can feel myself losing like the thread of what I was about to say while I'm saying it.

00:37:18.160 Like, I'm like, oh, that's so fun because that means that he thought about you enough to pick the restaurant.

00:37:27.580 Right.

00:37:27.800 You know, and I'm like, what am I, what am I saying?

00:37:29.860 Like, I know nothing.

00:37:31.300 Yeah.

00:37:31.520 My mind's like very like, especially if there's someone who dates men, I'm always like, I mean, break up with them.

00:37:37.340 Right.

00:37:38.680 Well, I would break up with them.

00:37:39.860 That's what I would do.

00:37:40.340 First mistake, kind of right out the bat.

00:37:42.280 Yeah.

00:37:42.700 Well, first off, I would break up with them.

00:37:44.260 That would be my first point of action.

00:37:45.640 But if you're not willing to do that, maybe we can try something else.

00:37:49.120 I always find myself like, like when my friend's like dating a new guy, I'm like, I have to resist actively being like, and what about him is hot to you?

00:38:02.380 And what exactly?

00:38:03.400 And just lay it out for me.

00:38:04.820 Yeah.

00:38:05.060 Just so I can understand.

00:38:06.500 Can I be in your shoes?

00:38:07.720 Yeah.

00:38:08.140 Some people are physical and some people are more of a mental.

00:38:11.720 Close your eyes.

00:38:12.580 Yeah.

00:38:12.860 Yeah.

00:38:12.960 Close your eyes and just think really hard.

00:38:15.400 Yeah.

00:38:15.940 Well, because most, I feel like most people who date men, especially if you're cisgendered and heterosexual.

00:38:22.080 Yeah.

00:38:22.680 If you're, if you're a woman who's like dating men who are cis and a lot of times you're better than them.

00:38:29.060 Like 99% of the time you could do better.

00:38:31.460 Most of the time.

00:38:31.920 For sure.

00:38:32.280 Yeah.

00:38:32.660 Easily.

00:38:33.460 99% of the time you could do better.

00:38:34.760 So that's just where my fallback is always like, we'll break up with them.

00:38:38.040 Right.

00:38:39.060 I'm like, it sounds like he is boring and not as fun as you.

00:38:43.840 Is that crazy to say?

00:38:46.100 Sounds like you're a lot funnier.

00:38:47.460 That's a huge thing for me too, is being funny.

00:38:51.220 Yeah.

00:38:51.540 Isn't that like, I'm always like, I can't carry this loan for the two of us.

00:38:55.120 Oh my God.

00:38:55.640 Oh girl, I'm exhausted.

00:38:56.440 It's like, it's not possible.

00:38:58.100 It's a, I mean, yeah, I go to bed.

00:38:59.600 I'm sore.

00:39:01.380 I can't do this by myself.

00:39:02.680 Yeah.

00:39:02.700 I'm exhausted from making people crack up all day.

00:39:05.260 It's hot.

00:39:05.740 I'm losing my voice.

00:39:06.620 Yeah.

00:39:07.140 I can't do it.

00:39:08.940 So we're going to watch some TikToks that are having to do with men who are giving horrible

00:39:13.720 dating advice.

00:39:14.500 Um, and they are unqualified.

00:39:16.160 Okay.

00:39:16.720 In this video, a man's wearing a white t-shirt, a suit jacket, and he's sitting in a chair

00:39:22.600 with blackout curtains behind him.

00:39:26.400 Okay.

00:39:26.720 Already terrifying.

00:39:28.060 You being actively afraid.

00:39:30.380 Uh, and he's talking to the camera and he says, the number one flirty thing you can say

00:39:35.520 to a girl is two words.

00:39:37.680 And he teaches this to men in his coaching program.

00:39:40.860 When you start flirting with a woman, look her in the eyes and say,

00:39:43.540 this is like reading it.

00:39:46.640 It makes me want to die.

00:39:47.740 It says, you know what?

00:39:48.960 You're trouble.

00:39:54.640 Oh God.

00:39:55.820 You're trouble.

00:39:57.000 A man says that to me in real life.

00:39:58.260 This is my genuine reaction.

00:39:59.320 A man says that to me in real life.

00:40:00.240 I'm like, what?

00:40:01.100 Yeah.

00:40:01.980 What does that mean?

00:40:03.040 What are you talking about?

00:40:04.440 What?

00:40:06.020 What kind of trouble?

00:40:07.760 What does that mean?

00:40:08.700 I don't understand.

00:40:10.160 Like the way they'll be, uh, like blech.

00:40:13.020 Does the coaching program have follow-ups after?

00:40:15.840 Like maybe if she gets mad, this is what she does.

00:40:19.040 Yeah.

00:40:19.860 If she gets mad, she's probably a bitch.

00:40:21.980 So fuck her.

00:40:22.660 Right.

00:40:22.980 And then tell her she's fat and leave.

00:40:24.240 Yeah.

00:40:24.720 That's boom.

00:40:25.560 Done.

00:40:26.660 Okay.

00:40:27.200 Win, win.

00:40:27.620 Next fricking lesson.

00:40:29.840 You need more after that.

00:40:31.980 Oh my God.

00:40:34.120 Thoughts on that?

00:40:34.880 On saying you're trouble?

00:40:36.160 You're trouble?

00:40:36.860 You should try it on your partner.

00:40:37.940 Oh my God.

00:40:38.500 It's scary.

00:40:39.780 You know what?

00:40:41.000 You're trouble.

00:40:41.940 You're trouble.

00:40:42.760 You say it like that, but like in a way that's like, you're trouble.

00:40:45.580 I know.

00:40:46.040 See, I can't say it and not be gay.

00:40:49.080 I'm like, oh, you're trouble.

00:40:53.160 It's not going to happen for me.

00:40:55.040 You have to have a deep darkness in your soul to like say that in a way that he's kind

00:40:58.960 of.

00:40:59.000 I was going to say any other way.

00:41:00.220 It's ominous.

00:41:01.960 You're trouble.

00:41:03.360 You're trouble.

00:41:04.520 I can't even say it.

00:41:05.380 Like I have to say like you're trouble because it's because I know that what he's talking

00:41:09.460 about is this sort of, you know, man who's got like, like he thinks he is so sexy.

00:41:18.400 Like he actually, he thinks about himself very sexually.

00:41:22.600 Like he's like, oh God, this is so sexy of me to say.

00:41:27.080 God, sorry.

00:41:27.840 I'm like, sorry.

00:41:28.540 I'm like, I'm like flustered by myself and my body.

00:41:31.120 Um, you're trouble.

00:41:33.180 And it's like, ah, and then he's the only one reacting.

00:41:39.180 Yeah.

00:41:39.200 Everyone else is like, he's like, stay away from him.

00:41:41.760 That was crazy that I said that.

00:41:43.880 He's like, oh my God.

00:41:45.140 You're so, you're so hot.

00:41:48.000 You killed me.

00:41:49.060 You're so cool.

00:41:52.140 I was, um, just talking about this the other day about the sexy part.

00:41:57.160 But men who are like, look at me being sexy.

00:42:02.140 There's nothing that makes my butthole go further into my body.

00:42:05.860 A hundred percent.

00:42:06.380 Like sucked in there.

00:42:08.380 Like boba through a straw bitch.

00:42:10.140 Right up there.

00:42:11.580 I, it makes me almost physically upset.

00:42:15.180 And I don't mean before everyone gets like, and why aren't men allowed to feel that?

00:42:18.600 That's not what I'm talking about.

00:42:19.480 I'm talking about men who are like, I look so good right now.

00:42:23.800 And they like need to show other people and they need to be acknowledged about how sexy

00:42:28.640 they are.

00:42:29.100 Yes.

00:42:29.340 They're demanding feedback.

00:42:30.720 Yeah.

00:42:31.020 It's very different.

00:42:32.560 It's like gun to my fucking head.

00:42:34.380 Tell me how sexy I am right now.

00:42:36.360 Say, notice me, notice me.

00:42:37.940 Yeah.

00:42:38.220 It's the same thing about male strip clubs.

00:42:40.600 Cause like I've only ever been to one once.

00:42:42.780 That was more than enough for me.

00:42:43.760 I will never go back to another one ever again.

00:42:45.940 Um, female strip clubs I think are fun.

00:42:48.080 Yeah.

00:42:48.620 Male strip clubs, haunted house girl.

00:42:50.920 Every corner I turn.

00:42:52.680 Oh, you know what I mean?

00:42:54.040 Like it's a jump scare.

00:42:54.920 Ah!

00:42:55.600 Everywhere.

00:42:56.180 Every corner I turn.

00:42:57.260 It's like horrifying.

00:42:58.360 I actually have never imagined.

00:43:00.000 And men like actively like grinding and feeling sexy and then like trying to talk to you at

00:43:05.200 the same time.

00:43:06.900 Yeah.

00:43:07.580 I'd rather be waterboarded.

00:43:08.800 Yeah.

00:43:09.160 Personally.

00:43:09.640 That's really, really scary.

00:43:11.380 Cause it's a lot of energy happening.

00:43:13.920 And so they're very activated.

00:43:15.120 Too much is going on.

00:43:18.300 Yeah.

00:43:18.660 I've never been more overstimulated and upset in my life.

00:43:21.540 Right.

00:43:21.960 Than when I had that experience.

00:43:23.380 Yeah.

00:43:23.800 That's a one way track to irritability.

00:43:27.320 And now I'm the bad guy.

00:43:28.640 Oh, I'm feeling angry.

00:43:29.780 I'm sorry.

00:43:30.440 Yeah.

00:43:31.080 My bad.

00:43:31.880 You pissed me off.

00:43:33.340 It's just like, it's that like, uh, it's just.

00:43:36.740 Nothing makes me sick.

00:43:39.640 Cause it's, it's a very different, like to when a man is demanding kind of a response

00:43:45.140 about his, you know, make, okay.

00:43:47.660 He's feeling himself.

00:43:48.680 Sure.

00:43:49.140 Cool.

00:43:49.460 But when he's kind of making it everybody else's problem, it's so different.

00:43:54.960 Exactly.

00:43:55.520 And jarring.

00:43:56.340 Like compared to like when a woman is like feeling good and comfortable in her skin.

00:44:00.200 Like, I'm like, yeah, you, I don't, I can't even actually think of an example of that

00:44:04.160 happening or making it everyone else's problem.

00:44:06.420 And like, it's like not notable.

00:44:07.860 Cause it's like, oh, right.

00:44:08.780 Cause she's minding her business.

00:44:10.080 She's feeling good.

00:44:11.220 She's having a great day.

00:44:12.280 Well, and a perfect example of that too, is like when women are feeling themselves, like

00:44:16.100 they just feel good.

00:44:17.260 And you're like, you look so cute today or something.

00:44:19.240 They're like, oh my God, thanks.

00:44:20.680 Like they're like shocked to hear it when men are doing that.

00:44:23.720 And like, you should make it everyone's problem.

00:44:25.380 They're like, hello.

00:44:27.980 Like, hello.

00:44:29.680 Yeah.

00:44:29.900 It's almost like someone who tells a joke and then looks around and waits like that.

00:44:34.080 And they repeat it.

00:44:34.860 Yeah.

00:44:35.280 Did you guys hear what I said?

00:44:36.580 Did you guys hear that?

00:44:37.420 That was fine.

00:44:37.860 Wait, okay.

00:44:38.200 I'll, I'll say it again.

00:44:38.880 Sure.

00:44:40.040 Someone set me up again so I can say it again.

00:44:45.000 That's different.

00:44:46.280 That's a very different, different journey to walk.

00:44:49.020 Oh, it sends shivers on my spine.

00:44:51.340 You're trouble.

00:44:53.200 You're trouble.

00:44:54.540 That's what you said.

00:44:55.140 I can't say it and not be gay.

00:44:58.380 Otherwise it makes me sick.

00:44:59.780 It's quite, yeah.

00:45:00.780 This one says, I've used, oh my God, this comment.

00:45:05.300 Okay.

00:45:05.660 It says, I've used, you seem like a good girl.

00:45:08.520 You better walk away.

00:45:09.880 I'm trouble.

00:45:11.480 It worked several times.

00:45:13.500 One like.

00:45:16.600 Doubt it.

00:45:17.340 It worked several times.

00:45:18.360 What does work mean?

00:45:19.580 First of all, like when it's working, what is happening?

00:45:21.440 Like they didn't call the cops on you.

00:45:23.040 That's a win.

00:45:23.960 That's a dope right there.

00:45:24.460 You're still free to walk the streets.

00:45:25.880 Yeah.

00:45:27.780 Dude.

00:45:29.000 I joked about this on my podcast with my sister, but we talked about how like, I'll tell the

00:45:34.620 story here because I haven't told it here, but one of my friends told me she went and

00:45:39.420 saw that movie, Anyone But You, whatever the fuck, the Sydney Sweeney movie.

00:45:43.280 I haven't yet.

00:45:44.320 It hasn't graced my presence yet.

00:45:46.340 And it will never grace mine personally, but it's okay.

00:45:49.020 All peace and love.

00:45:50.360 But she told me she was watching the movie and she said there was a couple behind her

00:45:54.240 and they were watching it too.

00:45:55.480 And then she said that when they have like that first scene where they're like about

00:45:59.680 to have sex, right?

00:46:02.100 The guy behind her goes, oh, we're going to see some tits out loud, like to his date.

00:46:10.560 To which I'm, I have so many questions already.

00:46:13.040 I have so many questions already.

00:46:14.920 And then she said, she said she couldn't pay attention to the movie because she was only

00:46:20.580 listening to that guy after that, obviously.

00:46:22.900 And then she said past that, like her, you did in fact see her tits.

00:46:26.680 He was right.

00:46:27.540 They eventually came out.

00:46:28.780 And when they were revealed, right?

00:46:30.940 Like he was like, score.

00:46:32.360 No.

00:46:34.180 So in the show with my sister, yeah, you're like, ah, ah, right.

00:46:39.360 So scary.

00:46:40.800 So horrifying.

00:46:41.640 Like, and in the, in the episode with my sister, we were laughing because I was telling

00:46:45.080 her like, if you get like audibly excited at the thought of seeing titties, maybe you

00:46:52.400 shouldn't be in public.

00:46:53.040 Like maybe you shouldn't be around other people.

00:46:54.920 Like, I feel like you're terrorizing the community.

00:46:57.740 You need to work through stuff in private, in private, in a padded cell, probably.

00:47:03.560 And so I was like, you need to be locked away somewhere far from the rest of us, wherever

00:47:09.580 they, wherever the fuck they put black Adam.

00:47:11.720 I don't know if anybody saw that with me, but there was a part where like they lock him

00:47:15.580 up in this underwater prison and they literally submerge him in water and they put a little

00:47:20.700 thing on him so he can still breathe and stay alive.

00:47:22.220 But he is literally like in a catatonic state and he's a thousand leagues under the sea.

00:47:26.680 That's where all of those men should be.

00:47:28.260 It's time to think.

00:47:29.140 And that includes men who say, you seem like a good girl.

00:47:32.820 You better walk away.

00:47:34.220 I'm trouble.

00:47:35.340 Right.

00:47:36.140 Right.

00:47:36.500 Cause that one, it's sort of the first one where you're like, that's a little threatening,

00:47:39.300 but it's like, this one is literally, that's a threat.

00:47:42.060 He's like, get out of my sight or bad stuff is going to happen.

00:47:46.120 I'm going to do something awful to you.

00:47:48.240 He's like, I'm actually telling you now, run.

00:47:51.540 I'll give you a head start.

00:47:52.700 Start right now.

00:47:53.460 He's like, works for me.

00:47:54.440 It's like, what?

00:47:56.380 I didn't get the cops called on me that time.

00:47:58.820 So, and I'm typing this in a dark room.

00:48:01.260 Yeah.

00:48:02.480 This next one says that was my go-to like 10 years ago.

00:48:06.860 LOL worked about 80%.

00:48:09.380 You just better have something good to say when you do get their attention.

00:48:13.280 Huh?

00:48:14.900 So interesting.

00:48:16.020 This man's bald.

00:48:16.840 So I feel like that should be said.

00:48:19.680 One time it's coincidence.

00:48:21.020 Two times it's a pattern.

00:48:22.100 Right.

00:48:24.020 This next comment is so funny.

00:48:25.780 It says, how do I follow up on that?

00:48:27.560 If she asks, what do I mean?

00:48:29.460 Okay.

00:48:29.820 Did I not say that?

00:48:30.800 Productive question.

00:48:31.720 Yeah.

00:48:31.940 Thank you.

00:48:32.680 He's like, okay, what are next steps?

00:48:34.040 Because every time I say that they're confused.

00:48:36.320 Yeah.

00:48:36.860 He's like, so are there any tips for just like talking as though she's also a person?

00:48:42.060 Is that, is that where the class ends?

00:48:43.900 Is that on the, on, on the roster?

00:48:46.220 Like I'm going to learn that next.

00:48:47.860 Yeah.

00:48:48.200 Or like how many lessons?

00:48:49.300 I'm looking at the syllabus and I'm just not.

00:48:51.340 I'm just trying to map.

00:48:52.320 I'm trying to game it out privately.

00:48:53.760 I'm like, okay, well clearly this is introductory steps.

00:48:57.360 I bought all the books you told me to buy and there's nothing about her.

00:49:00.060 Just us having an organic conversation.

00:49:02.840 I feel like it has to be here somewhere.

00:49:04.480 I bought the, just give me the information.

00:49:06.820 It's a dating coach, um, website.

00:49:10.820 I just figured maybe it would get me dates, but, um, no worries.

00:49:15.840 Have yet to see any results, but, uh, patiently waiting.

00:49:19.400 They should have like reviews like they do on Amazon or something.

00:49:24.360 They're like, or like on Yelp.

00:49:26.480 My favorite kind of Yelp reviews are when they're like, I would give this zero stars if that was an option.

00:49:31.040 Those are my favorite kinds.

00:49:32.140 Oh my God.

00:49:32.400 Cause whatever it's coming next is going to be on me.

00:49:34.340 They should have that for like specifically almost like rate my professor, but specifically for like men who give dating advice, like dating coaches.

00:49:43.360 Yeah.

00:49:43.660 They're like, this worked for me because, but most times it'll be like, I don't know.

00:49:48.180 I spent thousands of dollars and on now I'm in prison.

00:49:51.360 Yeah.

00:49:52.180 Weirdly.

00:49:52.580 I'm still miserable.

00:49:54.620 Which like, I, you know, I guess back to square one, but I'm just like a little confused.

00:50:00.940 No harm, no foul.

00:50:01.660 But, um, I am sad.

00:50:03.700 And this did not help me as much as I thought it was going to, I've actually, I've actually met one dude in my entire life that actively bought like dating coach books.

00:50:17.060 Yeah.

00:50:17.680 And it was like how to get women.

00:50:20.520 And I was like, well, okay.

00:50:25.160 Um, this was my very first interaction with him.

00:50:27.500 Like, like one-on-one.

00:50:29.240 And it was a man that like, I met through my boyfriend.

00:50:31.900 It's not my boyfriend's friend.

00:50:32.940 And it was like, totally.

00:50:33.900 So we're not endorsing the behavior.

00:50:35.500 No, he was like a tag along.

00:50:37.080 Like they worked in this similar environment and he just happened to be at something we went to anyways.

00:50:41.900 He talked to me and he said, I don't think we've ever met before.

00:50:44.460 Have we?

00:50:45.100 Which yes, we have.

00:50:46.100 We've met at least five times up until that point.

00:50:48.060 So people do that.

00:50:49.040 I was like, I don't know why you're negging me as if I'm not in a relationship.

00:50:52.240 Like this shit doesn't work on me, bitch.

00:50:53.600 So like it wouldn't work on me if I was single.

00:50:56.460 And honestly, it would only work on me if I had no eyes.

00:50:59.740 But that's besides the point.

00:51:01.080 And my ears were ripped off my head.

00:51:02.340 Like that's the only way it would work probably.

00:51:04.740 No, but he said, I said, yeah, we have.

00:51:08.800 We've met several times.

00:51:10.280 And he was like, oh, OK, well, I forget your name.

00:51:14.420 Whatever the fuck.

00:51:15.040 I'm like, OK, well, my name's Drew.

00:51:16.980 Right.

00:51:17.560 And he was like, oh, Drew, like that's like a boy's name.

00:51:21.580 What the?

00:51:22.060 And I was like, well, clearly it's not.

00:51:24.720 Clearly it's not.

00:51:25.820 Names are just names, by the way.

00:51:27.200 Yeah.

00:51:27.840 And somewhere for boys.

00:51:30.580 I happen to know that.

00:51:33.780 I'm like, you got me.

00:51:34.780 Yeah.

00:51:35.060 You're like, actually, wait, fuck.

00:51:37.000 I don't have anything else to say.

00:51:38.340 You're so right.

00:51:38.960 You're so right.

00:51:39.640 Do you want to go on a date?

00:51:40.500 Yeah.

00:51:41.400 And I was like, yeah.

00:51:42.640 And he's like, oh, like like Drew.

00:51:44.960 I forget.

00:51:45.680 He he men always do this shit to me.

00:51:48.080 We're like when I tell them my name, they try to think of the first Drew that they know.

00:51:52.760 It's almost always Drew Carey.

00:51:54.560 I don't know why that's the guy, but like, wait, it's so genius.

00:51:59.160 Oh, my God.

00:52:00.140 That's such a very fun.

00:52:01.440 But like Drew Carey.

00:52:02.540 They're like, oh, like Drew Carey.

00:52:04.160 And then sometimes I'll sometimes if they're like a man's man, I'll be like, oh, yeah, like Drew Brees.

00:52:10.160 Like I'll say like that.

00:52:11.720 And then I said that to that guy.

00:52:13.980 And this is an exact reenactment.

00:52:16.640 He goes, OK.

00:52:19.800 Oh, oh, OK.

00:52:21.960 All right.

00:52:22.560 Yeah.

00:52:22.860 No, like, OK, you're different.

00:52:26.060 What?

00:52:26.800 He completely glitched.

00:52:29.540 You're different.

00:52:30.700 Oh, he starts breathing really hard.

00:52:35.100 He's like, I actually.

00:52:36.980 The ick that coursed in my body.

00:52:41.820 And I was watching him have that episode.

00:52:43.740 I said that.

00:52:44.960 What are you supposed to do?

00:52:46.260 I was like, do you need me to be here while you do this?

00:52:49.000 Now I'm involved.

00:52:50.100 Yeah.

00:52:50.220 Do you mind if I turn my back while you do this?

00:52:52.860 Do you want some privacy while I go do this?

00:52:55.240 Well, this sort of searches through you.

00:52:57.160 Yeah.

00:52:58.020 He's like, you're different over and over again.

00:53:00.540 I was like.

00:53:01.300 And then as soon as I left that interaction, I was like, I don't ever want to hang out with that guy ever again.

00:53:05.460 Yeah.

00:53:05.600 That's cool with you.

00:53:06.240 Yeah.

00:53:06.360 My boyfriend.

00:53:06.860 He's like, I don't even like that guy.

00:53:08.420 That's my best friend.

00:53:09.640 Yeah.

00:53:10.600 Please.

00:53:11.140 He's my friend.

00:53:11.880 Come on.

00:53:12.460 That's that Jersey Shore audio.

00:53:14.640 Guys.

00:53:15.260 He's my friend.

00:53:15.980 That's my friend.

00:53:18.920 Please.

00:53:19.220 Please.

00:53:22.040 Well, I mean, any thoughts on your trouble?

00:53:29.260 Your trouble.

00:53:30.940 Do you have any?

00:53:31.900 Oh, here.

00:53:33.200 How do I follow up on that?

00:53:34.300 If she asked what I what do I mean?

00:53:35.520 How do I follow up?

00:53:38.500 I mean, it's sort of like I, I guess if I was giving advice to someone in this situation.

00:53:46.080 Yeah.

00:53:46.340 I would say I would I would let that question sort of linger and I would sit with myself and really ask myself, what do I mean?

00:53:56.720 And great advice.

00:53:58.300 Honestly, I would just like genuinely like I think most men should do that.

00:54:02.020 Honestly.

00:54:02.640 Right.

00:54:03.320 Try listening.

00:54:05.520 You know, but that kind of thing.

00:54:09.140 And then and if you do mean something sort of flirtatious or sexual, I would just sort of ask, like, why do you feel into why do you?

00:54:23.300 I'm sorry.

00:54:23.880 I'm trying to be gentle with them.

00:54:25.340 Right.

00:54:25.520 Because if they've made it this far into this podcast, you know, they might really be looking for something.

00:54:31.660 They're really trying to help.

00:54:33.360 They're trying.

00:54:33.840 They're desperate.

00:54:34.820 Right.

00:54:35.040 So it's just kind of.

00:54:35.980 Yeah, I would like sit with it.

00:54:37.180 I would like let it kind of like wash over you and awaken whatever awakens inside you.

00:54:42.860 I would.

00:54:43.760 This is what I would do.

00:54:44.620 She goes, what?

00:54:45.400 Which is so funny because that's exactly what I said.

00:54:47.220 I'd be like, what?

00:54:47.960 Yeah.

00:54:48.080 What is that supposed to mean?

00:54:49.340 If someone like me says something like that, then I would say I said, what's your name?

00:54:53.720 I just I'd redirect pivot pivot immediately.

00:54:57.520 Yeah.

00:54:58.020 They didn't hear me.

00:54:58.900 I asked.

00:54:59.660 What's your name?

00:55:00.180 What's your name?

00:55:01.180 Yeah.

00:55:01.500 Oh, my name is.

00:55:03.420 There you go.

00:55:03.960 And there you go.

00:55:04.600 And you're off to an amazing story.

00:55:05.660 There you go.

00:55:06.400 I was like, it's even like when Caleb was on the show, he was like, you really just need

00:55:12.680 to like get a hobby or like an interest, like take an interest and like listen and you will

00:55:17.380 drown in posts.

00:55:18.080 I promise.

00:55:18.540 Yeah.

00:55:19.060 Yeah.

00:55:19.240 Like most women just want to be heard.

00:55:21.140 Yeah.

00:55:21.380 So like and listen to.

00:55:23.460 Yeah.

00:55:23.780 And cared for.

00:55:25.340 So I'm sure if you're just like.

00:55:28.320 She's present in the conversation.

00:55:30.400 Yeah.

00:55:30.580 If you just ask normal bitch questions, like I promise it will probably go somewhere.

00:55:35.880 Like.

00:55:36.080 Right.

00:55:36.540 To some extent anyway.

00:55:38.000 Yeah.

00:55:38.560 Yeah.

00:55:38.800 It's more so really about your heart because I'm like in my mind, I'm like, OK, like genuinely

00:55:43.880 like sometimes I think if you're like actually feeling socially awkward in a situation, I

00:55:49.360 think like sometimes it can be helpful to like have like, oh, like what's something cool

00:55:53.200 that you learned recently?

00:55:54.280 Yeah.

00:55:54.600 But this is a dangerous piece of advice to give to men because that can quickly turn into

00:55:58.660 sort of like lecturing and being weird about it.

00:56:00.380 Oh, yeah.

00:56:00.840 Yeah.

00:56:01.080 But like if you do have like a heart that is good and you offer like, oh, you know,

00:56:06.780 I like I love birds.

00:56:10.420 There's a lot of really interesting facts about birds.

00:56:12.480 Like if you have like a fact like that where you're like, I learned this.

00:56:14.740 I saw a cardinal the other day.

00:56:17.060 Did you know?

00:56:17.940 You know.

00:56:18.240 And then that actually like if you're doing that with the purest of intentions.

00:56:21.700 Yeah.

00:56:21.980 It could lead somewhere, you know, you might seem a little weird, but like you have something

00:56:27.120 to say besides like creepy and awful.

00:56:29.500 Right.

00:56:29.780 Besides like forcing it on her to be like, I made a weird comment to you.

00:56:33.720 Respond.

00:56:35.640 Balls in your court.

00:56:36.760 Right.

00:56:37.280 So like you go ahead and take the reins from there.

00:56:40.720 But this is also an example of like sort of circling back.

00:56:43.740 You know, I do give like horrifying dating advice because I'm so rusty.

00:56:49.020 So I'm sure that like you're not wrong in the sense of like what you said earlier,

00:56:54.740 which is like if you talk to them like they're a normal human being.

00:56:57.620 Right.

00:56:58.460 Nine times out of ten, it's going to work out.

00:56:59.980 Yeah.

00:57:00.260 Like if you just find that in your soul, kind of.

00:57:03.260 And even if it doesn't, most women will be polite to you regardless.

00:57:08.600 Like they'll be nice.

00:57:09.660 They'll have the conversation even if they aren't like attracted to you or don't want

00:57:14.180 to date you or pursue it further.

00:57:15.940 What the fuck?

00:57:16.560 You could be the weirdest bitch in the world.

00:57:18.760 Right.

00:57:18.940 And if you strike up a conversation with a girl, she's going to find it endearing if you're

00:57:22.780 not awful.

00:57:23.520 Yeah.

00:57:23.900 She'll be like, he's so sweet.

00:57:25.120 He came up to me, started talking to me about fucking birds or some shit.

00:57:27.440 Right.

00:57:27.460 And he was so sweet.

00:57:28.260 He was just so nervous.

00:57:29.300 That's how they're going to like piece it out.

00:57:31.320 They're not going to be like, what a freak.

00:57:33.120 And if they are, then that's not the person for you.

00:57:34.980 Yeah.

00:57:35.360 But if they're just like, oh, he was so sweet.

00:57:37.060 Like he seemed nervous and he was talking to me about birds.

00:57:39.360 And then like, and then I started talking to him and we exchanged phone numbers.

00:57:42.200 You see how easy that is?

00:57:43.240 Easy.

00:57:43.360 I've said so much, so many times I'm like straight men like that, like they are so like, well,

00:57:49.060 first of all, entitled to women, obviously, but they also like over complicate shit.

00:57:53.760 Yeah.

00:57:54.080 It's like you make it so much more complicated than it actually is.

00:57:57.040 Yeah.

00:57:57.260 If you just talk to her like a normal person and get a favorite song or band, like I promise.

00:58:02.480 Right.

00:58:03.040 It'll work out probably.

00:58:04.100 Yeah.

00:58:04.340 Just have a fulfilling life of your own that someone would maybe be compelled to join in

00:58:09.760 on.

00:58:10.120 Yeah.

00:58:10.600 Because that's also key is like you have to bring something to the table, right?

00:58:13.280 Yeah.

00:58:13.460 Yeah, exactly.

00:58:14.220 And I also feel like, but it's also hard because then, you know, if, if we're sort of toying

00:58:19.740 with the idea of entitlement, like if you, you can't expect that every woman is going

00:58:27.300 to even have like any, I, even a semblance of wanting to be with you, which is hard, a

00:58:33.440 hard first step because then it just like, then you have to want to make friends.

00:58:36.280 Yeah.

00:58:36.620 Which I also think a lot of men are like not really interested in doing.

00:58:39.580 Yeah.

00:58:39.760 Like I've talked about that before where I'm like, some men are like, women are just so

00:58:44.700 high maintenance these days and blah, blah, blah.

00:58:47.060 And it's like the, the high maintenance part is like, just like, don't be mean to me.

00:58:51.420 Yeah.

00:58:51.980 And I was like, the reason why that's like such an impossible idea to conceive for them

00:58:57.340 is literally because they would have to like be nice to women.

00:59:00.880 Yeah.

00:59:01.320 And that's just like too big of an ask.

00:59:02.860 Like, it's like, I want to be able to like, just like tell you like.

00:59:06.620 Like Neanderthal type shit.

00:59:07.980 Like you, me cave.

00:59:09.620 Like they want to be able to do that shit.

00:59:11.280 And that's just like, not how it works anymore.

00:59:13.260 No.

00:59:13.800 Hasn't for a while.

00:59:14.680 So they're like, what do you fucking mean?

00:59:16.960 I have to ask her about what she likes.

00:59:18.740 Yeah.

00:59:18.940 What are you talking about?

00:59:20.060 Yeah.

00:59:20.480 No, I'm going to go with your trouble.

00:59:22.660 Your trouble.

00:59:24.540 Oh, thank God.

00:59:25.420 There's only one step.

00:59:26.320 I just have to say she's trouble.

00:59:27.580 And then I just metaphorically get to take her back to my cave.

00:59:30.940 And then that is my woman.

00:59:32.580 That's mine.

00:59:33.680 And, and also she's annoying me.

00:59:37.040 You're like, has anyone ever thought about the fact that my girlfriend's annoying?

00:59:40.840 And that's, it sort of comes, it's a beautiful, they get on stage, they've got a microphone,

00:59:46.300 let them speak.

00:59:47.520 Exactly.

00:59:48.380 Exactly.

00:59:49.020 They need more representation.

00:59:51.500 Yeah.

00:59:51.800 We need more of them on the stage.

00:59:53.800 Yes, we do.

00:59:55.500 Just to wrap things up.

00:59:57.360 So we talked about all kinds of shit.

00:59:59.540 Mostly comedy.

01:00:00.400 As experts.

01:00:02.980 As experts.

01:00:03.580 As experts.

01:00:04.820 You wanted it.

01:00:05.740 You asked for it.

01:00:06.600 Yeah.

01:00:06.860 We're going to talk about it.

01:00:07.820 But you've, like, you've dabbled in, I feel like, a lot of different forms of comedy.

01:00:11.520 Like, whether it's writing, stand-up, theater.

01:00:13.800 Um, so, like, for, I know your journey is kind of, like, uh, still being written, like

01:00:20.220 you said.

01:00:20.720 Thank you.

01:00:20.960 You're still trying to figure it out.

01:00:21.820 But you, obviously, you've developed, um, a platform because people find you so fucking

01:00:26.300 funny.

01:00:27.040 So what's your, what would you say is, like, a really great piece of advice you want to

01:00:31.140 give people who are pursuing maybe different avenues of entertainment?

01:00:34.200 Whether it's, like, writing, stand-up, acting.

01:00:37.740 That's.

01:00:38.440 Especially if they're in LA and, like, pursuing it actively.

01:00:41.840 You know, I really feel like, because honestly, and, you know, maybe this is annoying to say,

01:00:50.300 but I, for me, the social media thing did kind of feel like it happened on accident.

01:00:55.980 I feel like someone gave me a phone on accident and I, you know.

01:01:00.540 You and me both.

01:01:01.380 You know what I mean?

01:01:02.180 Like, I feel like that's, that's the funniest thing about having these, like, sort of platforms

01:01:05.500 suddenly is you're like, you're like, oh, who let me do this?

01:01:09.220 Uh-oh.

01:01:10.120 And I don't know what I'm doing.

01:01:11.500 Um, but I feel like, so, but I think that the reason why that didn't, like, fizzle out

01:01:18.320 or whatever is I think that, like, if you can find something that feels generative to you,

01:01:25.200 like, on your own, like, I have always been obsessed with people, like, I have always

01:01:32.320 loved, like, you know, sitting in, like, a public park or, like, a coffee shop or something

01:01:36.480 and, like, listening to two people having a conversation.

01:01:39.300 Yeah.

01:01:39.680 And being like, oh, my God, like, she works at a museum and she does not like her new

01:01:45.220 co-worker.

01:01:46.260 Like, I'm like, you know, like, I'm like, it's people just talking about their lives in

01:01:48.840 such a normal way.

01:01:49.460 I'm like, that's literally genius.

01:01:51.140 I'm, like, writing it down.

01:01:52.040 I'm like, that's so funny.

01:01:53.420 Yeah.

01:01:53.840 And, like.

01:01:54.560 You're very observant.

01:01:55.620 Which is why you're a good writer, because you're very observant.

01:01:57.920 Thank you.

01:01:58.400 I appreciate that.

01:01:59.220 I, like, I love it.

01:02:00.380 I'm obsessed with it.

01:02:01.100 And so, like, that's why I think it just feels, like, that feels so exciting to me.

01:02:06.200 Yeah, totally.

01:02:06.260 And I feel like the hardest thing is when people know that maybe they want to do comedy or

01:02:12.320 they want to act or something like that, but they just, like, can't figure out what's

01:02:15.940 exciting about it.

01:02:16.920 Yeah, totally.

01:02:17.920 And that doesn't mean that there's, like, not something exciting about it, but I think

01:02:20.780 it's just, like, it has to come from a place of, like.

01:02:23.360 Authenticity.

01:02:23.900 Yeah.

01:02:24.340 Yeah, like an obsession with it personally.

01:02:26.180 Yeah.

01:02:26.620 And that shines through.

01:02:28.020 Yeah.

01:02:28.580 Right.

01:02:28.840 And so, that's why, that's why I'm saying, like, your writing is so brilliant because

01:02:32.180 you talk about things that are so specific, but they're so relatable, like, applicable to

01:02:37.100 everyone.

01:02:37.400 Thank you.

01:02:37.520 Which I think makes really great comedians, whether you're on TV, stand-up, whatever it may be,

01:02:42.960 because Caleb's the same way.

01:02:44.000 Like, everyone I've met that I genuinely find so hilarious, yourself included, have

01:02:48.740 a very specific lens that they've just observed over time.

01:02:53.120 Like, it's like, and then people can relate to it, so they laugh about it, and they can,

01:02:56.780 like, love it and share it and all that stuff because they can relate, which I think is great.

01:03:00.180 Well, I feel like it's so true of what you do as well.

01:03:03.140 Like, not to, you know, men are horrible, and that's my thread line.

01:03:06.700 Well, it's, you know, men are horrible, but also, like, you are just really, really observant

01:03:12.480 with it in a way that's, like, it's, you're very intentional.

01:03:15.720 And it's, like, amazing how, like, you do have, like, a new take on it with every single

01:03:21.300 video that you make.

01:03:22.100 Like, that's why it's, like, I'm watching your videos.

01:03:24.660 I'm scrolling.

01:03:25.120 I'm laughing, laughing, laughing.

01:03:26.240 And it's not, like, oh, she's saying the same thing over and over again.

01:03:28.400 It's, like, no, I'm learning.

01:03:30.280 I'm, like, I'm, like, oh, my God, that's crazy.

01:03:32.560 Like, it's so, so I feel like it's very much coming from that place of, like, yeah,

01:03:36.020 if you think something is interesting and funny, other people are probably going to.

01:03:38.980 Yeah, thank you.

01:03:40.100 I appreciate that.

01:03:40.860 But that's why I love your content so fucking much.

01:03:43.640 Like, I'm so obsessed with your videos.

01:03:45.780 I think you're hilarious.

01:03:46.860 And I'm so, so happy you came on the show.

01:03:49.220 I'm so happy.

01:03:50.020 This was so much freaking fun.

01:03:51.480 Oh, my gosh.

01:03:52.220 Of course.

01:03:52.700 Anytime.

01:03:53.140 You're welcome.

01:03:53.680 Anytime.

01:03:54.620 Thank you.

01:03:54.840 Thank you so much to EJ for coming on this episode of the comment section.

01:03:58.720 Where can everybody find you?

01:04:00.700 You can follow me on, like, all the social medias.

01:04:04.900 Like, how many are there now?

01:04:06.880 My name on the ones that I do have is EJ Having Fun.

01:04:10.280 Period.

01:04:11.220 And, yeah.

01:04:12.900 He is having fun.

01:04:14.120 Oh, and I am having fun.

01:04:16.540 100% of the time.

01:04:17.520 He's having fun.

01:04:19.540 Thank you so much for coming on the show.

01:04:21.000 I adore you.

01:04:21.420 Thank you for having me.

01:04:21.880 You're amazing.

01:04:22.160 Thank you all so much for watching this episode of the comment section.

01:04:25.460 Please make sure y'all go follow EJ on literally everything.

01:04:28.060 I can't wait to see all the wonderful, amazing things you do.

01:04:30.300 Thank you.

01:04:30.860 And I'll be able to say he was on my show.

01:04:34.800 He was literally on my show.

01:04:36.200 Oh, my God.

01:04:38.120 Thank you all so much for watching this episode of the comment section.

01:04:40.820 Don't forget the comment section episodes come out every Wednesday.

01:04:44.500 You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, and the video lives for free exclusively on Spotify.

01:04:49.520 Please stop asking me where the video lives, bitch.

01:04:52.100 It's on Spotify.

01:04:53.640 Just kidding.

01:04:54.400 I love you so much, but please don't ask me that question anymore.

01:04:57.860 I love you so much, and I'll see you next week.

01:05:00.060 Thank you so much to EJ.

01:05:01.160 Make sure y'all go follow him, and I'll see you on the next episode.

01:05:03.840 Bye.

01:05:04.120 Bye.

01:05:04.220 Bye.

01:05:04.320 Bye.

01:05:04.340 Bye.

01:05:04.400 Bye.

01:05:04.460 Bye.

01:05:04.480 Bye.

01:05:04.560 Bye.

01:05:05.000 Bye.

01:05:06.500 Bye.

01:05:10.820 Bye.

01:05:11.820 Bye.

01:05:12.820 Bye.

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - February 07, 2024

YOU’RE TROUBLE Ft. EJ Marcus

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