The EdgeStream - Edgin' to the News w⧸ Comedian Mark Hughes (2022-08-02)
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 19 minutes
Words per Minute
145.60219
Summary
Comedian Mark Hughes joins me on The Edstream to discuss his new show, The Devil Next Door, and how he got into stand-up comedy. We also talk about his time in prison, and why he decided to become a comedian.
Transcript
00:05:08.960
Welcome to the Edstream, the edgiest live show I know.
00:05:13.380
The following show is a satire, and all characters appearing are fictitious in nature.
00:05:19.140
Any resemblance to real persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
00:05:41.180
You edgy. You're now tuned in to the edgiest guy I know.
00:06:02.200
It's good to be back every Tuesday night around 9 p.m. EST.
00:06:07.260
I'm here tonight with special guest co-host, comedian Mark Hughes.
00:06:14.580
I'm seeing that you're extra prideful, or I don't know exactly what that flag is in your background.
00:06:24.740
Apparently you're supposed to do that, and you don't get banned.
00:06:33.820
I saw one of these at, like, a dress store, and, like, all these dudes were in there, and I just thought, oh, okay, you know, there's some sharp-dressed men, right?
00:06:48.140
Yeah, the international signal for sharp-dressed men, right there, right?
00:06:54.060
Well, yeah, it's good to finally have you on the show.
00:06:57.540
It's interesting that we finally crossed paths again.
00:07:01.160
I know we met, uh, originally in London, Ontario.
00:07:06.660
Because, uh, um, Fringe Fest, I believe, and you're doing your story about how, uh, you're a fucking ex-heroin addict.
00:07:17.220
All that stuff in prison, and now you turn to comedy so you can stay clean and...
00:07:22.940
Yeah, I did a one-man show at a Fringe Festival.
00:07:26.380
Yeah, I was gonna say, that justifies you having that flag behind you.
00:07:35.940
That is by far the edgiest thing that they'll ever encounter at a Fringe Festival.
00:07:45.360
They're not comedy, but they're, um, they were okay.
00:07:49.920
I realized after doing it for a few years it wasn't something I wanted to keep doing,
00:08:02.520
Well, it was actually, to be, truth be told, it was, I was trying to find my own way,
00:08:11.880
So, like, the comedy where I don't necessarily have to be that funny, but I get paid.
00:08:18.460
And I thought, that didn't feel like I was compromising my integrity because I'm just telling my story.
00:08:24.480
And the problem is, is it doesn't actually pay that much.
00:08:27.480
It only pays if you do Fringe Festivals and if you catch on and if a bunch of other things,
00:08:36.640
And I'm a junkie, so I prefer the instant gratification of a laugh.
00:08:45.120
Dude, I hung up my fucking, my gun and ski mask and forged checks.
00:08:51.440
I don't like, that's, I have a hard time lying and cheating and stealing now.
00:09:02.720
I embraced my inner white man and now I'm law-abiding.
00:09:06.440
Unfortunately, the white man needs to rise back up again.
00:09:10.140
And I mean that in the way that we need to start looking, uh, you know, to our niggas in
00:09:17.540
What we should be doing is we should be doing the crime for them as reparations.
00:09:25.980
These are the, these are the white-splaining ideas that we need to start coming up with.
00:09:31.380
Although, once the black guys aren't in prison anymore, the white women aren't gonna want
00:09:35.640
to fuck them anymore because it won't piss off their dad as much.
00:09:39.080
Okay, I think we're just gonna throw the whole natural order out of, out of whack with
00:09:46.420
The white women won't stand for it because they want their blacks violent, right?
00:09:54.980
It ain't no fun unless there's a black guy involved, right?
00:10:04.700
There, now we just got, are we still, did the stream cut off?
00:10:12.340
They don't know if we're, uh, you know, we're doing race play or not.
00:10:20.640
Fucking, uh, some people in the chat, Night Watchman is asking, is that SJW Mark Hughes
00:10:27.140
I think they're, they're both blending together.
00:10:29.340
I think we're getting the real Mark Hughes, though.
00:10:33.300
It's, it's, it's, uh, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, you know, it's like an undercover cop
00:10:38.480
who can't tell, you know, uh, what, what, what his real identity is anymore.
00:10:45.820
Sober is the new tripping out these days, Slice Cube says.
00:11:02.860
Yeah, so I think we just hop into some topics, you know, uh, usually when you get a comedian
00:11:07.440
on, you start jerking each other off and talking about the craft and all this stuff, and then
00:11:12.840
the comedians forget to talk about, they forget to be funny, and they just talk about what
00:11:18.240
a, what a grueling, uh, you know, how, how special they are as comedians with their little
00:11:35.060
I, the funny thing is, is when I'm not, when I'm not actually doing comedy, I'm not, I'll
00:11:39.660
fully admit I'm not necessarily the funniest guy.
00:11:42.620
Like, it, it's one of the, I, I, I have my moments.
00:11:45.480
It, it was, I was never the funny guy offstage, really, either.
00:11:49.860
This is something I just, I found out about myself.
00:11:52.400
I used to do public speaking at, like, recovery things.
00:11:55.680
That's how I found out I'm funny when I have an audience.
00:12:02.300
Uh, I can't, I'm not always the funniest guy, I will fully admit.
00:12:19.500
Like, right before this stream, I went to go take a 20 minute nap, and that went by
00:12:27.800
And then I felt like I was going to shit myself.
00:12:30.520
Like, uh, like, I felt like how you probably felt getting arrested, coming down from, like,
00:12:37.880
And then finding out that you're going to spend the next 10 years in prison.
00:12:41.940
Okay, well, I, I'm hoping it won't get that far.
00:12:55.560
You know, we got to talk about the big stuff, man.
00:13:05.020
Well, first off, I, I think you had some problems with China lately.
00:13:15.740
So, so, so I just want to preface this by saying, um, Global News recently reached out to me.
00:13:25.300
And they asked me about the video in which I incited people to say the N word, supposedly,
00:13:31.940
among other things, is we've been having this tiff with this, uh, hack Global News TikTok
00:13:41.820
But right around the same time this happened, and the same time you came on Derek's stream,
00:13:47.080
somebody from a different publication reached out to you about some of your jokes.
00:13:52.680
I'm making sure, I'm making sure, I'm making sure Justin, black dick.
00:13:59.520
Um, so I had one from the Daily Hive, which is more embarrassing than Global News.
00:14:08.780
No, it's, it's, it's embarrassing that they're the ones reaching out.
00:14:11.580
They, I put up a, oh, I can put up the video for us to look at.
00:14:19.960
Like, you can just drop it in the chat, and then I'll freaking, uh.
00:14:22.820
Uh, how do you drop it in the, can I email it to you?
00:14:28.540
Now, I can't believe that, even, even if it's just like.
00:14:32.300
So why don't we play the video first, and then, then I'll tell the story.
00:14:36.580
Okay, okay, yeah, send it the same email that I, uh.
00:14:42.160
Uh, so, uh, what will we talk about while I'm trying to figure out technology?
00:14:50.400
Yeah, apparently we're going into World War motherfucking three.
00:14:55.720
So, from what I gather, I'm not an expert on China.
00:15:00.260
Like, one thing that I tell people is, I don't do news.
00:15:10.120
No, so, I don't, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I know much about Israel and stuff like that
00:15:17.500
and their influence, but I don't know enough China.
00:15:19.660
I'm not, I'm, I'm already known as anti-Semitic, but I'm not xenophobic enough.
00:15:43.380
That means that you're racist against Chinese people, apparently.
00:15:48.240
Or Asians, I'm not sure, uh, what that, exactly, that includes.
00:15:52.400
But yeah, I, I'm not up to date on what's going on exactly with China, but apparently
00:15:57.120
Nancy Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi is visiting Taiwan in the middle of the night, uh, kind of unexpectedly,
00:16:07.560
and obviously the Chinese government is freaking out over that, and they're declaring it as war.
00:16:12.760
They already warned them that they're not to do that.
00:16:15.440
So, we have this picture here of Nancy Pelosi in the pink in the middle, and we got all these-
00:16:23.780
And, I don't know if porn has ruined my brain, but immediately all I'm thinking is like,
00:16:35.980
And, uh, uh, except for this one is chinked, because it's Nancy Pelosi, and there's all
00:16:42.180
Asians standing around about to do the gangbang on her.
00:16:45.940
And now I know I shouldn't be thinking this way about 80-year-old Nancy Pelosi, but when
00:16:51.440
you have that much plastic surgery on your face to keep it together, like, you're just
00:16:57.820
She doesn't even fucking drink the adrenochrome anymore.
00:17:04.380
Yeah, that face is holding on, like, for dear life.
00:17:09.840
It's got to be, like, pure white kids to hold that face together, right?
00:17:58.780
And then before I comment on that, there's a second video that I'll send right now.
00:18:38.460
We need this to blow up people so we can have, like, a fucking Chinese kid do this for us.
00:19:22.340
So this is what got a journalist reaching out to you.
00:19:30.920
And of the three months, you'll be surprised at how much your voice will expand.
00:19:47.080
Then the second one should be in your email any second.
00:19:49.300
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.
00:20:11.500
Okay, so I'll give you some backup, just some background on this one.
00:20:14.900
So this video, the first video, did not get that many views, to be fair.
00:20:19.580
It got a few thousand on TikTok, which is fuck all.
00:20:27.900
here before you delete the video out of embarrassment
00:20:50.160
his white voice because I didn't really get it at first
00:20:54.160
the end of the video though that wasn't the end of the
01:01:40.380
He said some very offensive things about Steven Spielberg
01:01:45.460
And this is how it ties into the whole QAnon thing
01:01:57.060
Oh yeah, so Crispin Glover sued the shit out of Steven Spielberg
01:02:01.380
And won, because they used him in the new Back to Future sequels
01:02:06.360
Without crediting, he didn't want to be a part of it
01:02:24.860
From this script, from this essay that he wrote
01:02:37.080
Are the smiles broadcast by this culture's media
01:02:42.540
Does the self-professed compassion of the media
01:03:16.320
So the public cannot determine their own thoughts
01:15:56.560
Cause you're different though from all the rest