00:02:14.280You're listening to the best of the Glenn Beck program. So Stu, um, I found something on
00:02:21.880themendproject.com. This is a place that, that helps people get away from mental abuse, uh, and
00:02:31.100physical abuse. And, um, now I'm only reading it just because, you know, I'm not, I'm not tying
00:02:37.600this to anything. Somebody said to me, I read it, you know, here at home. My wife was like, I think I
00:02:42.600see what you're saying. And I'm like, I'm not saying anything. I'm talking about mental abuse. I'm
00:02:46.880talking about people, unlike the people broadly in the United States of America being mentally
00:02:54.840abused. I'm just talking about people who are in a situation and need to get out. Okay. Make no
00:03:01.540mistake. This is from, uh, a, an abusive, uh, get away from abuse website. Make no mistake. Lying is a
00:03:08.600type of abuse. We all lie sometimes, don't we? So when is it abusive? Lying is one of the most common
00:03:14.620tactics an abuser uses to gain power and control over their victim. Lying confuses the victim's
00:03:21.340reality while helping the liar to shrink from their responsibility in the situation, often shifting
00:03:27.520the blame to the victim. Bosses, significant others, friends, family may use lying as a form of covert
00:03:35.100emotional abuse. Lying also paves the way for other types of abuse, such as physical abuse.
00:03:40.580Well, everybody makes mistakes or even little lies and they can, but they can quickly culminate into
00:03:46.260full-on manipulation of a person or a situation. A central element to covert abuse is stressful
00:03:52.620confusion. You have an example maybe that of that Stu stress, stressful confusion. This is the emotion
00:04:00.080abusers want their victims to feel when lying to them. The covertly abusive tactic of lying increases
00:04:07.220the victim's anxiety levels and cause their thinking to become clouded. A confused victim
00:04:12.920is less likely to respond quickly, to go with their gut, or confront the liar. Okay, now that's the
00:04:20.360open now. Let me give you a few and just see if you can find any example. I know you're not abused,
00:04:25.020Stu, but maybe you know somebody that is being abused. Black lies. One, black lies are bold-faced lies
00:04:33.500the abuser uses to gain something for themselves at the cost of the one being deceived. Think for an
00:04:40.100example of a realtor who lies about the condition of underground plumbing into a home to get a higher
00:04:45.960price for its sale and thereby gains a better commission. In other words, the realtor exploits
00:04:51.880the buyer's lack of current knowledge out of self-interest. Similarly, a common lie used by abusers is,
00:04:58.280I deposited the check. However, if that check was deposited into the abuser's personal account
00:05:04.380instead of the joint account, the abuser has gained financial power over the victim. If the
00:05:09.900check was never deposited, the perpetrator then gains power of confusion and anxiety when the victim
00:05:16.000wonders where the money went or if the money ever existed to begin with. Upon further inspection,
00:05:22.000some of these deceptions can be identified. However, at their core, these lies are statements
00:05:27.640used by abusers to gain something over the victim, power, money, status, or control.
00:05:36.120I'm sorry, you probably don't relate to any of this, Stu, because I'm just talking to people who
00:05:40.220are being abused. White lies. Everybody knows this type of deception, which is unfortunately common.
00:05:47.120White lies are small, seeming dismissive obstructions of reality that are harder to disprove.
00:05:53.260They are sometimes used for good reasons, such as telling a friend you like her new haircut when
00:05:57.380you don't, so you won't hurt her feelings. Because white lies are less traceable, however,
00:06:02.660they carry greater power to manipulate others. Their most insidious use is when the abuser tells
00:06:08.600white lies about the victim to others, because those lies slowly influence others to view the victim
00:06:15.460in a different light. Can you think of an example? For an example, during particularly stressful
00:06:22.780times, an abuser may tell friends and family that everything is good, we're just fine. However,
00:06:28.540the victim's behavior makes him or her appear erratic, unpredictable, and at times unstable to
00:06:33.840those close to the couple. Over time, this tactic effectively isolates the victim from others.
00:06:40.240Each individual lie might be too small to notice or address at first, but over time,
00:06:44.600and with repetition, they will successfully shift others' perception of the individual.
00:06:51.920Three, half-truths. Half-truths are versions of what happened that helped the abuser to avoid
00:06:57.960responsibility in a situation. The liar relies on the fact that they are telling just enough of the
00:07:04.660truth to seem credible. For example, recounting a disagreement by saying, he yelled at me while
00:07:10.600leaving out the events which led up to the yelling. This omission of important facts paints a picture
00:07:16.200that is more favorable for the abuser. Four, broken promises. This form of lying is difficult for abusers
00:07:24.140to accept when confronted. They will attempt to give themselves the benefit of the doubt. An abuser who
00:07:29.440promises to come by your work party, then breaks that promise by refusing to show up at the last minute,
00:07:34.520is a liar. They will try to excuse their actions by claiming that they had a hard day or didn't think
00:07:39.580he really wanted them to come. Like the white lie, broken promises can make the victim look bad in front
00:07:44.860of others. Remember, a broken promise is the same as a lie. Forgetting. Similar to broken promises, claiming
00:07:51.880to forget a commitment or an obligation such as, oh, I forgot you wanted me to be home early tonight, is
00:07:57.520manipulation. It can convince the victim that the abuser made a simple mistake. Constant forgetfulness
00:08:05.260should not be dismissed. And then finally, denial. Liars are so comfortable with telling lies that they
00:08:13.820will do anything to avoid getting caught or taking responsibility, even if that means flat out denying
00:08:20.800the truth, no matter how obvious it may be. If someone denies the reality of facts and evidence
00:08:27.400when presented, they are likely a liar. Remember, emotionally healthy people do not habitually lie,
00:08:35.280especially concerning relationships with loved ones. Transparency should be sought after,
00:08:41.920because that's what connects people. A genuinely loving partner, parent, sibling, friend, etc.,
00:08:47.420will not continually lie. And that is what divides people and prevents authentic relationships. Any
00:08:54.660combination and frequency of these types of lies should be noted and addressed. If this blog helps
00:09:01.760you see the lies you're facing from a partner or another, maybe a president or any... I did what? I just
00:09:07.640lost my place here. Anyway, I just thought that was interesting about how lies are mental abuse.
00:09:17.420And, gosh, I don't know if you saw any use in any of that in your own life, but if you were
00:09:27.500constantly being lied to, you should make a concerted effort to avoid that liar, because they are
00:09:37.000manipulating you. My gosh, I just thought of this. This could be applied to the media and to the left.
00:09:45.920I... Holy cow, because black lives, white lives, half-truths, broken promises, and I forget that. Did I say that? I don't even know how I said that. Huh. Interesting.
00:10:00.900Hard to know if that was an abuse site that you were reading from or an internal democratic campaign strategy memo.
00:10:07.560It really does describe how... Or the press.
00:10:11.380Yeah, the press, for sure. Yeah. The press.
00:10:14.280That's the thing. I mean, the one thing about...