In this episode of the Glenn Beck Show, host Glenn Beck is joined by Stu and Stewart Year to discuss the latest in the ongoing crisis involving the FBI and the Trump administration. They also discuss covert abuse and how abusers use lies to gain control over their victims.
00:02:14.280You're listening to the best of the Glenn Beck program. So Stu, um, I found something on
00:02:21.880themendproject.com. This is a place that, that helps people get away from mental abuse, uh, and
00:02:31.100physical abuse. And, um, now I'm only reading it just because, you know, I'm not, I'm not tying
00:02:37.600this to anything. Somebody said to me, I read it, you know, here at home. My wife was like, I think I
00:02:42.600see what you're saying. And I'm like, I'm not saying anything. I'm talking about mental abuse. I'm
00:02:46.880talking about people, unlike the people broadly in the United States of America being mentally
00:02:54.840abused. I'm just talking about people who are in a situation and need to get out. Okay. Make no
00:03:01.540mistake. This is from, uh, a, an abusive, uh, get away from abuse website. Make no mistake. Lying is a
00:03:08.600type of abuse. We all lie sometimes, don't we? So when is it abusive? Lying is one of the most common
00:03:14.620tactics an abuser uses to gain power and control over their victim. Lying confuses the victim's
00:03:21.340reality while helping the liar to shrink from their responsibility in the situation, often shifting
00:03:27.520the blame to the victim. Bosses, significant others, friends, family may use lying as a form of covert
00:03:35.100emotional abuse. Lying also paves the way for other types of abuse, such as physical abuse.
00:03:40.580Well, everybody makes mistakes or even little lies and they can, but they can quickly culminate into
00:03:46.260full-on manipulation of a person or a situation. A central element to covert abuse is stressful
00:03:52.620confusion. You have an example maybe that of that Stu stress, stressful confusion. This is the emotion
00:04:00.080abusers want their victims to feel when lying to them. The covertly abusive tactic of lying increases
00:04:07.220the victim's anxiety levels and cause their thinking to become clouded. A confused victim
00:04:12.920is less likely to respond quickly, to go with their gut, or confront the liar. Okay, now that's the
00:04:20.360open now. Let me give you a few and just see if you can find any example. I know you're not abused,
00:04:25.020Stu, but maybe you know somebody that is being abused. Black lies. One, black lies are bold-faced lies
00:04:33.500the abuser uses to gain something for themselves at the cost of the one being deceived. Think for an
00:04:40.100example of a realtor who lies about the condition of underground plumbing into a home to get a higher
00:04:45.960price for its sale and thereby gains a better commission. In other words, the realtor exploits
00:04:51.880the buyer's lack of current knowledge out of self-interest. Similarly, a common lie used by abusers is,
00:04:58.280I deposited the check. However, if that check was deposited into the abuser's personal account
00:05:04.380instead of the joint account, the abuser has gained financial power over the victim. If the
00:05:09.900check was never deposited, the perpetrator then gains power of confusion and anxiety when the victim
00:05:16.000wonders where the money went or if the money ever existed to begin with. Upon further inspection,
00:05:22.000some of these deceptions can be identified. However, at their core, these lies are statements
00:05:27.640used by abusers to gain something over the victim, power, money, status, or control.
00:05:36.120I'm sorry, you probably don't relate to any of this, Stu, because I'm just talking to people who
00:05:40.220are being abused. White lies. Everybody knows this type of deception, which is unfortunately common.
00:05:47.120White lies are small, seeming dismissive obstructions of reality that are harder to disprove.
00:05:53.260They are sometimes used for good reasons, such as telling a friend you like her new haircut when
00:05:57.380you don't, so you won't hurt her feelings. Because white lies are less traceable, however,
00:06:02.660they carry greater power to manipulate others. Their most insidious use is when the abuser tells
00:06:08.600white lies about the victim to others, because those lies slowly influence others to view the victim
00:06:15.460in a different light. Can you think of an example? For an example, during particularly stressful
00:06:22.780times, an abuser may tell friends and family that everything is good, we're just fine. However,
00:06:28.540the victim's behavior makes him or her appear erratic, unpredictable, and at times unstable to
00:06:33.840those close to the couple. Over time, this tactic effectively isolates the victim from others.
00:06:40.240Each individual lie might be too small to notice or address at first, but over time,
00:06:44.600and with repetition, they will successfully shift others' perception of the individual.
00:06:51.920Three, half-truths. Half-truths are versions of what happened that helped the abuser to avoid
00:06:57.960responsibility in a situation. The liar relies on the fact that they are telling just enough of the
00:07:04.660truth to seem credible. For example, recounting a disagreement by saying, he yelled at me while
00:07:10.600leaving out the events which led up to the yelling. This omission of important facts paints a picture
00:07:16.200that is more favorable for the abuser. Four, broken promises. This form of lying is difficult for abusers
00:07:24.140to accept when confronted. They will attempt to give themselves the benefit of the doubt. An abuser who
00:07:29.440promises to come by your work party, then breaks that promise by refusing to show up at the last minute,
00:07:34.520is a liar. They will try to excuse their actions by claiming that they had a hard day or didn't think
00:07:39.580he really wanted them to come. Like the white lie, broken promises can make the victim look bad in front
00:07:44.860of others. Remember, a broken promise is the same as a lie. Forgetting. Similar to broken promises, claiming
00:07:51.880to forget a commitment or an obligation such as, oh, I forgot you wanted me to be home early tonight, is
00:07:57.520manipulation. It can convince the victim that the abuser made a simple mistake. Constant forgetfulness
00:08:05.260should not be dismissed. And then finally, denial. Liars are so comfortable with telling lies that they
00:08:13.820will do anything to avoid getting caught or taking responsibility, even if that means flat out denying
00:08:20.800the truth, no matter how obvious it may be. If someone denies the reality of facts and evidence
00:08:27.400when presented, they are likely a liar. Remember, emotionally healthy people do not habitually lie,
00:08:35.280especially concerning relationships with loved ones. Transparency should be sought after,
00:08:41.920because that's what connects people. A genuinely loving partner, parent, sibling, friend, etc.,
00:08:47.420will not continually lie. And that is what divides people and prevents authentic relationships. Any
00:08:54.660combination and frequency of these types of lies should be noted and addressed. If this blog helps
00:09:01.760you see the lies you're facing from a partner or another, maybe a president or any... I did what? I just
00:09:07.640lost my place here. Anyway, I just thought that was interesting about how lies are mental abuse.
00:09:17.420And, gosh, I don't know if you saw any use in any of that in your own life, but if you were
00:09:27.500constantly being lied to, you should make a concerted effort to avoid that liar, because they are
00:09:37.000manipulating you. My gosh, I just thought of this. This could be applied to the media and to the left.
00:09:45.920I... Holy cow, because black lives, white lives, half-truths, broken promises, and I forget that. Did I say that? I don't even know how I said that. Huh. Interesting.
00:10:00.900Hard to know if that was an abuse site that you were reading from or an internal democratic campaign strategy memo.
00:10:07.560It really does describe how... Or the press.
00:10:11.380Yeah, the press, for sure. Yeah. The press.
00:10:14.280That's the thing. I mean, the one thing about...