The Glenn Beck Program - December 19, 2025


Best of the Program | Guests: Cheyenne Grace & Derek Hinckley | 12⧸19⧸25


Episode Stats

Length

38 minutes

Words per Minute

156.52017

Word Count

6,077

Sentence Count

596

Misogynist Sentences

7

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

On today's show, Glenn Beck talks about the recent shooting at a Target store in Aurora, Colorado, and why we should stop telling ourselves the lies we tell ourselves at Christmas. He also talks about a story about a man who accidentally sliced his own head open with a screwdriver.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 It was just another holiday party until Michelle arrived with a chocolate Basque cheesecake.
00:00:05.240 Two rich cocoas, caramelized top, which Michelle claimed to have just whipped together.
00:00:10.580 But the evidence told another story.
00:00:12.960 An empty PC box, a receipt in her purse.
00:00:15.940 All right, Susan, I bought the PC chocolate Basque cheesecake.
00:00:19.900 It was just $11.
00:00:21.340 Can you stop true cramming me?
00:00:22.800 Can I have another slice?
00:00:24.620 Try the season's biggest hits from the PC Holiday Insider's Report.
00:00:30.000 Have some of the news of the day on the podcast.
00:00:32.880 We talked a lot about the shooter.
00:00:35.480 They finally found the guy, and it was tied to both universities.
00:00:39.720 Still can't figure out the motive on it, but we talked about that quite a bit.
00:00:43.560 Also, what happened at TPUSA, and I'm going to be at TPUSA this weekend.
00:00:48.380 I'm going to give my speech on the final day right before Erica Kirk and I think J.D. Vance
00:00:53.140 as things wrap up in Phoenix, Arizona.
00:00:55.960 Huge, huge event.
00:00:57.100 A lot of things happen.
00:00:57.860 And also, what your family really needs from you this Christmas.
00:01:02.260 It's not a gift.
00:01:03.620 And there's a couple of things that I really wanted to share as a man and as a father to you.
00:01:09.580 And that one is an important one.
00:01:11.620 Also, you know, the lies that men tell ourselves, you know, at Christmas that we really should remember are lies and and not and not do them anymore.
00:01:23.500 Because the main rule on Christmas for dads is don't wreck it.
00:01:27.900 Don't wreck it for everybody.
00:01:29.660 Don't.
00:01:30.220 Shh.
00:01:30.740 Don't say that.
00:01:31.780 Whatever it is.
00:01:32.520 All of this and so much more on today's podcast.
00:01:34.620 Hello, America.
00:01:36.400 You know, we've been fighting every single day.
00:01:38.380 We push back against the lies, the censorship, the nonsense of the mainstream media that they're trying to feed you.
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00:03:26.080 Let's get back to the table.
00:03:27.080 We were putting up our gate one time.
00:03:43.500 We had just moved from New York and we were putting up these big log, you know, gates.
00:03:48.180 And the guy who we had hired to do it, local guy, he's just great.
00:03:53.940 And Matt was putting these long, you know, screws through the three posts.
00:04:02.280 And we leave and we come back hours later and he's still working on that same post, except now his whole head is bandaged.
00:04:11.040 And we stop and we're like, Matt, what happened?
00:04:15.060 And he's like, oh, it's nothing.
00:04:17.060 I just, I just got to get this done.
00:04:18.980 I'm like, no, what happened to the head, your head?
00:04:21.700 Why is it all bandaged?
00:04:22.700 Ah, you know, the drill slipped and I lost control and it came back and it, it just sliced my head, you know, straight across in the forehead.
00:04:33.960 And he said, uh, I had to get, you know, I don't remember what it was, 25, 35 stitches.
00:04:40.020 And I said, should you be here now?
00:04:44.780 And he said, oh no, it's fine.
00:04:48.220 I said, did the doctor say it was okay for you to come back to work?
00:04:52.440 He said, doctor, I didn't go to the doctor.
00:04:55.820 I said, I thought you got 35 stitches.
00:04:58.040 He said, ah, I just went to the vet.
00:05:00.560 Vets can do it.
00:05:01.420 I'm like, Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.
00:05:06.080 I don't know where we are.
00:05:08.040 I just went to the vet.
00:05:09.660 Ah, he can stitch me up.
00:05:11.120 Okay.
00:05:12.020 Okay.
00:05:12.660 Well, I'm going to go into the house now and try to make sense of my whole life and where I'm at.
00:05:17.940 But, uh, anyway, welcome to the program.
00:05:20.020 It is, um, the last broadcast before the holiday, the last broadcast of the year.
00:05:25.540 Uh, and, um, and there's a lot going on.
00:05:28.960 There is an awful lot going on.
00:05:30.600 I don't even know where to be.
00:05:31.800 You know what?
00:05:32.260 Let's start here.
00:05:33.000 Let's start with, let's look into our stockings and see what Santa has put into our stockings
00:05:41.140 because we've been good little boys and girls.
00:05:44.320 Listen to this.
00:05:45.760 What about Democrats on Democrats?
00:05:47.740 Democrats, net approval rating of congressional Democrats.
00:05:50.440 I want you to keep in mind, they had never rated Democrats negatively until this year.
00:05:56.260 And right now, what are we talking about?
00:05:58.000 We're talking about a net approval rating from Democrats.
00:06:00.980 This is Democrats on Democrats.
00:06:02.660 Their approval rating is actually lower, lower than the disapproval rating.
00:06:06.120 And that is quite the drop from October.
00:06:07.980 I think during the shutdown, there was a bit of a boost for Democrats, right?
00:06:11.800 There was a rallying around the flag effect going on, but Democrats did not like how that
00:06:16.380 shutdown turned out.
00:06:17.680 They have returned against Democrats in Congress.
00:06:20.480 And you mentioned Dan Goldman in that intro.
00:06:22.580 One of the reasons that Dan Goldman is in trouble right now in a potential primary against
00:06:27.040 Brad Ladner is because at this point, the Democratic base is so upset with Democrats.
00:06:33.720 Uh, did you get, do you see that kids look at your stocking, go in and pull that back
00:06:37.720 out?
00:06:38.420 They've never rated Democrats negatively Democrats on Democrats now negative six points, mighty
00:06:48.700 unpopular boys and girls.
00:06:50.340 Uh, and that might, that might be something worth, you know, just enjoying over the holiday
00:06:55.620 season that maybe, maybe no matter how badly we screw things up, they're doing a worse
00:07:02.100 job.
00:07:03.100 Uh, and so maybe there is hope Virginia, uh, that yes, we might have a good midterm might.
00:07:10.160 We're a long way away from that.
00:07:12.500 Do you have any ideas to looking at the polls, how bad the Republicans are doing?
00:07:15.540 And if it's, if it's worse than six points, negative six points, just don't tell me.
00:07:19.160 Uh, uh, I don't know the exact number.
00:07:22.220 I feel like we're, we're, we've been minus 80 on the Republicans forever.
00:07:26.960 Uh, but I was like to see the Democrats join our side on not liking, uh, our own politicians.
00:07:32.960 Uh, but I don't know that exact number.
00:07:34.700 I will say that, you know, you look at the, uh, you could find information, I think on both
00:07:39.920 sides to say, to see optimism in November and also some real pessimism.
00:07:45.260 Of course, you just going in from an uphill starting point.
00:07:49.060 I think I was looking at, uh, you know, some of these markets and it's like, I think 75%
00:07:53.040 chance for the Democrats to retake the house in, uh, November.
00:07:57.660 So, you know, but that's just, turn his mic off.
00:08:00.560 No, it just reflects history.
00:08:02.340 It doesn't reflect anything else.
00:08:03.740 It's really not a negative sentiment, you know, for me.
00:08:06.240 I'm not, that's, that reflects history, right?
00:08:08.200 When you have a Republican president, like typically Democrats take the house in the first
00:08:12.240 election, same thing, the opposite way.
00:08:13.860 So I think that's just reflecting generalized history.
00:08:17.200 Lots of work to be done still.
00:08:18.840 You know, the, the, the, what he just said gives you really no information.
00:08:23.240 Thank you.
00:08:23.660 Because they were up 22 points.
00:08:25.480 They were up 22 points and now they're down six.
00:08:28.480 He said they were up because there was a rallying around the flag, but they didn't like the way
00:08:32.260 that worked out.
00:08:32.840 So do the people who are now, the Democrats who are now saying they're useless, is it
00:08:38.000 because they're not socialist and, you know, Grinchy enough?
00:08:42.800 Or are they, are people saying, you know what, they just don't make any sense anymore because
00:08:47.020 that's the way I would interpret it, but I'm not a Democrat.
00:08:49.560 So I don't know.
00:08:50.680 Yeah.
00:08:50.940 How are the Democrats thinking?
00:08:52.400 I think you're right.
00:08:52.940 I think it's them, the Democrats, generally speaking, feeling like they took this big
00:08:58.060 step, this big risk, right?
00:09:00.100 To go out there and shut the government down and got nothing out of it.
00:09:02.860 So I think that is a, our side sucks.
00:09:05.840 Our side's not doing enough.
00:09:07.100 I think that's what the sentiment is.
00:09:08.800 And again, when you see a number like that from plus 22 to minus six, it's almost hard
00:09:13.820 to take it seriously, right?
00:09:15.120 Like, what do they do in one month that would go from a plus 22 to a minus six?
00:09:20.580 It's more emotional.
00:09:21.820 BJ, turn his mic off, please.
00:09:23.100 No, I mean, minus six might be the more real thing is what I'm saying.
00:09:27.060 I don't think they were plus 22 on the show.
00:09:29.860 They were in that moment.
00:09:30.980 They had a little bit of a sugar high because they were like, yeah, we're taking Trump on.
00:09:35.960 And when they realized when you take a Trump on in these situations, he's going to slap
00:09:39.940 you down and you get zilch out of it.
00:09:41.760 That's the other side.
00:09:42.720 But here's the good news.
00:09:44.440 If you're a Democrat, here's the good news for you.
00:09:46.620 Santa is going to put something in your stocking.
00:09:48.960 It's called the GOP.
00:09:50.360 And the GOP is going to give you everything you wanted in that shutdown.
00:09:55.100 But they're just going to do it during Christmas time.
00:09:57.940 And so no one will, they think no one will notice, but we will.
00:10:01.780 Okay, shut his mic off, please.
00:10:03.240 Okay, shut his mic off.
00:10:04.940 Let me talk to you a little bit about what happened at TPUSA yesterday.
00:10:08.900 By the way, we're going to get to the Brown University shooting because that thing is,
00:10:11.600 that's a mess.
00:10:12.380 We'll talk about that in a second.
00:10:14.440 The TPUSA yesterday, they started their biggest event, what is called Freedom Fest, the biggest
00:10:22.940 one they've ever done.
00:10:24.780 It is packed.
00:10:25.840 Tucker was there yesterday.
00:10:27.140 Ben Shapiro was there.
00:10:28.620 In a steel cage match, face to face, going at it, head to head.
00:10:32.420 And they both gave, they both gave speeches.
00:10:35.420 And Ben was very, very clear on things.
00:10:39.260 Tucker, his speech yesterday, pretty much said there's not a, there's not a civil war going on.
00:10:45.680 I think there is a civil war going on.
00:10:49.080 But, and I don't like it, but there is a civil war going on.
00:10:52.180 And Ben was very, very, I think, very clear.
00:10:55.660 He pointed out that, you know, we have to stand for the truth.
00:11:00.100 We have to show the facts.
00:11:01.920 And we have to have solutions.
00:11:05.340 And I tend to agree with them.
00:11:07.160 Now, my speech is on Sunday.
00:11:08.460 I'm flying out tomorrow to Arizona to be there.
00:11:11.680 I'm going to speak before Erica and J.D. Vance on Sunday.
00:11:15.900 I have a few things to say.
00:11:18.380 I have an opinion on the whole Candace Tucker, Ben Shapiro, Megyn Kelly thing.
00:11:22.140 And I'm going to put it all together and hopefully put it to rest on Sunday.
00:11:26.180 At least in my head.
00:11:27.540 I mean, it might not be, might not be good for everybody else, but I'm going to say it.
00:11:32.420 So, and I'm bringing a surprise guest with me.
00:11:35.280 I cannot wait until this individual walks on stage with me.
00:11:40.840 I think everybody's going to love it.
00:11:43.860 Yes.
00:11:45.140 Yes.
00:11:45.540 I defrosted Walt Disney, who surprisingly enough, I didn't know, was laying right next to Ronald
00:11:52.580 Reagan.
00:11:53.080 So that's happening at TPUSA on Sunday.
00:11:55.520 Now, there was also another Christmas miracle that happened, I thought, and Erica talked
00:12:01.260 about it.
00:12:02.160 Here's what Erica Kirk said on what's happened since Charlie's death.
00:12:06.920 Listen to this.
00:12:08.120 Off this paper, I'm not going to wing this one because I want all of you guys to absorb
00:12:12.300 the magnitude of these numbers.
00:12:14.780 The number of student requests to get involved since 9-10.
00:12:20.560 140,000 plus get involved requests have been submitted since 9-10.
00:12:27.820 140,000.
00:12:29.020 140,000.
00:12:34.140 Total number of students involved.
00:12:37.460 This is involved within Turning Point USA.
00:12:39.960 1 million plus students involved in Turning Point USA.
00:12:43.180 Current chapter numbers as of December 18th, 2025.
00:12:55.000 3,082 Club America chapters.
00:13:00.500 1,432.
00:13:01.500 1,432 college chapters.
00:13:10.560 You don't have enough connections.
00:13:12.840 You're not going to do it as of today.
00:13:15.280 And we are starting 50 chapters per day at Turning Point USA.
00:13:20.140 It was quite amazing.
00:13:24.400 And the reason why this is so important is because of 2026 and 2028, which I thought was
00:13:29.660 really interesting.
00:13:30.460 She came out yesterday and she said, we're going to get J.D.
00:13:32.420 Vance elected president of the United States.
00:13:35.140 So I guess Turning Point has just decided, yep, that's who's going to be the president of
00:13:38.540 the United States.
00:13:39.020 But, you know, I'd like to see the whole process work itself out.
00:13:44.720 I know because I talked to J.D. about it and I talked to Marco Rubio and J.D.
00:13:49.120 We were standing someplace together and I said, so it's going to be interesting, right?
00:13:53.520 And they both were like, yeah, they're just going to let's get through the administration.
00:13:57.740 Let's let's concentrate on the job we're doing now.
00:13:59.880 That's a long way away, but it's going to be interesting.
00:14:02.780 And I think we have lots of good options in front of us.
00:14:06.140 The best of the Glenn Beck program.
00:14:09.020 Ever take a look at your phone bill and think, wait, wait, wait, wait, why am I paying these
00:14:17.960 people so much money?
00:14:18.780 Because you're paying through the nose.
00:14:20.360 You're also you're also sponsoring leftist activism.
00:14:24.100 And once you figure that out, you're like, wait a minute, hold on.
00:14:26.880 It's like we're in ordering a burger and including, you know, you find out that they included a
00:14:31.540 mandatory ideological donation with that burger.
00:14:34.340 You wouldn't go there again.
00:14:35.500 But we do with our phones because they do it because they know people.
00:14:39.000 People don't like changing phone companies and they'll never do it.
00:14:42.340 I'm urging you, do it, do it.
00:14:44.340 There there are they are dismantling our country with some of the things there.
00:14:48.280 You want to provide more abortions in the country?
00:14:51.920 OK, well, if you do, Verizon's your one because Verizon makes donations to Planned Parenthood with
00:14:56.900 your money.
00:14:57.620 Congratulations.
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00:15:27.980 You're listening to the best of the Glenn Beck program.
00:15:30.600 As your kids move away and start their own life, you've got tons of time on your hand
00:15:43.960 to critique, to wonder, what did I do wrong?
00:15:51.160 What did I do?
00:15:51.940 I didn't do enough of this.
00:15:53.840 I should have done more of that.
00:15:54.940 This was important, I thought at the time, and it's meaningless at the time.
00:15:58.540 And it's been a really difficult, I don't know, 18 months for me as my kids moved out
00:16:06.160 of the house.
00:16:06.960 I mean, it's the hardest, emotionally, the hardest time of my life.
00:16:12.360 And I thought I had pretty, you know, emotionally difficult periods of my life.
00:16:18.300 This has just torn me apart in so many ways, and you have to put it all back together and
00:16:23.940 kind of make sense of all of it.
00:16:25.660 And I think I'm close to doing that, but as you now have holidays where some of the kids
00:16:42.720 are not there, because they don't have to be, they have other priorities, whatever, you
00:16:49.280 pine for the days when we're all together, and you were thinking when you were in bed,
00:16:56.220 you were thinking, oh, don't come in, don't, no one's allowed to come into the room until
00:16:59.780 eight o'clock.
00:17:00.820 See, that's an eight.
00:17:01.860 When that little hand is on the eight, and that little hand is on the 12th, then you can
00:17:05.560 come into the bedroom and wake up mom and dad.
00:17:09.000 And nobody goes downstairs until we go downstairs first and plug in the tree.
00:17:12.840 You just try to get through those days at times because you're so tired, but you pine for those.
00:17:29.560 The most empty, I can't, I don't know if I can tell you the best Christmas.
00:17:33.420 Yeah, I think it would happen actually during COVID, but the best Christmas, it's hard because
00:17:42.160 there's a few of them.
00:17:43.280 The worst Christmas I can tell you right now is, I remember I was broke, dead broke.
00:17:52.020 Stu, he was like 18 years old and he's living in an apartment.
00:17:56.620 He's got a nicer apartment than I did.
00:17:58.820 We lived in the same complex.
00:17:59.980 I was like 35 or 40 and I just, it was completely broke.
00:18:05.140 He was like a king in a palace compared to me.
00:18:08.620 And I remember this Christmas so broke and I was with my daughter and we were in a CVS
00:18:14.900 and she was there by the cash register and there was this little ornament of, I don't remember
00:18:22.740 if it was, you know, Herbie the elf or, or Rudolph, but it was from Rudolph the red-nosed
00:18:29.100 reindeer and it was a little teeny tree ornament.
00:18:31.140 And she's like, Oh, that is so nice.
00:18:32.840 She was a little, little, little.
00:18:33.740 And I thought, Oh, and I just, she didn't see me, but it just broke my heart.
00:18:39.060 Cause all I could think of is I can't even afford that.
00:18:42.600 I'm such a loser as a dad.
00:18:46.600 That was not my worst Christmas.
00:18:48.260 My worst Christmas was the first time I had real success and I decided I'm going to buy
00:18:54.980 everything I ever have ever wanted for my kids.
00:18:59.080 And literally the boxes were almost up to my waist.
00:19:03.360 I mean, I had all the kids and all the presents and everything you could possibly want.
00:19:08.980 And it was so empty.
00:19:11.240 That was my worst Christmas.
00:19:12.860 And my kids never talk about that Christmas.
00:19:17.060 Never.
00:19:20.080 There's something that happens, especially to men.
00:19:22.500 I think that we, we come at this time of year and we feel like a failure if we can't afford
00:19:28.860 things and this feeling shows up.
00:19:33.200 And most of us as guys, we don't talk about it because we don't want to talk about these
00:19:37.620 feelings.
00:19:38.020 And I think we should, because I think we all feel the same way at times.
00:19:44.380 And when the house is quiet and the lights are all out and you're staring at numbers that
00:19:49.460 just don't add up and you're wondering, how am I going to explain
00:19:54.900 to my kids why things aren't underneath the tree?
00:20:02.800 Because why you want to give that, that's the way you show love perhaps.
00:20:11.720 And you want to give that.
00:20:13.820 And part of it is because it's the things you didn't have growing up and you knew how
00:20:18.740 you might've felt.
00:20:20.600 And so that fear says, I'm a failure.
00:20:23.560 I'm coming up short as a dad.
00:20:25.240 Not because you don't love them, not because you didn't try, but because you tried, you
00:20:32.200 do love them and it didn't happen.
00:20:36.080 And the world is expensive and pride is heavy and Christmas or birthdays now just has a price
00:20:46.420 tag on everything.
00:20:47.320 And, but there are moments that were never meant to be bought ever somewhere along the
00:20:53.420 line.
00:20:53.740 We let that lie creep in and we bought into it.
00:20:57.940 The lie that says, what I give is what you're worth.
00:21:05.020 That's that lie is absolute poison and it's absolutely not true because if it were true,
00:21:11.740 then the men who built this countries and that had to raise their own barns, the one room
00:21:18.260 houses, if that's true, then all of those guys were failures and they weren't failures.
00:21:25.880 If, if it were true, then dads who come home with empty hands after a lost job, but a full
00:21:33.200 heart after a hard day are somehow less than, and they're not, they're better than.
00:21:40.040 And so are you, you think that your kids are counting boxes and quite honestly, teenage
00:21:53.980 years, they might be, they might be, but they grow out of those.
00:21:58.840 You just put up with the teenage years.
00:22:00.740 They're coming.
00:22:01.620 They suck.
00:22:02.500 They go away.
00:22:04.820 They're not counting boxes.
00:22:06.660 They're not looking at labels.
00:22:08.040 Here's what I believe they remember.
00:22:13.200 You.
00:22:15.020 They're counting on you.
00:22:19.980 Not for the, I grew up in a house that we would consider poor today.
00:22:25.060 I didn't think of us as poor.
00:22:26.720 We just were.
00:22:27.860 It's just the way we lived.
00:22:29.140 Your kids are watching you, how, how you carry disappointment, how you carry and handle
00:22:39.580 frustration, how you speak when you think it doesn't matter, or you think nobody's listening.
00:22:45.940 They're learning from you what a man does when life just doesn't cooperate.
00:22:55.100 And they'll never learn it from something that you tell them.
00:23:01.260 You know, kids, when life doesn't cooperate, they don't learn it that way.
00:23:05.120 Trust me.
00:23:06.600 I don't think my kids could quote a damn thing I've ever said.
00:23:10.260 Because there have been a lot of things that I said.
00:23:12.020 Because I remember my dad used to, you know, we can survive anything as a family, but we
00:23:16.200 cannot tolerate lies because we'll never survive.
00:23:18.660 Okay.
00:23:18.820 I remember that all the time.
00:23:21.660 I am that I am.
00:23:23.180 I am is the most important thing a man can ever say.
00:23:26.500 Be careful how you follow that.
00:23:28.200 I don't think my kids can.
00:23:29.320 And I said it all the time, but I don't think my kids can quote me.
00:23:37.080 But my wife said, yes, they can.
00:23:39.700 And yes, they will.
00:23:40.700 Believe me.
00:23:43.980 The things that we do, the man that we are.
00:23:48.820 Whether you know it or not, is far more valuable than anything that can be wrapped into paper.
00:23:57.520 I know you want to give them everything.
00:24:00.040 Because I did.
00:24:00.940 Every dad does.
00:24:03.280 I still do.
00:24:07.500 But everything isn't stuff.
00:24:10.000 Everything is teaching them now that their value is not measured by what they can buy or show off.
00:24:23.780 That's what you have to make everything.
00:24:26.900 Teach them.
00:24:27.760 It's who they are, who they become when things get hard.
00:24:37.420 And life may be hard for you now.
00:24:39.480 And you're not going to sit down and you're not going to look into the eyes of your child and say, you know, mom, dad couldn't afford Christmas because of X, Y, Z.
00:24:48.180 They don't want to hear that.
00:24:49.540 They won't relate.
00:24:51.000 They'll never remember that except that creepy time that dad took me aside and was like explaining adult things to me about, you know, how the economy works.
00:24:57.900 Because they're going to be watching you on how you react to everything.
00:25:07.100 Some of the strongest, some of the kindest, some of the most resilient people you and I both know did not grow up with abundance.
00:25:14.640 They grew up with stability.
00:25:17.200 They grew up with laughter in the kitchen.
00:25:20.060 They grew up watching their mom and dad hug, say a kind word to each other, apologize to one another.
00:25:27.900 They grew up with a father who is dead tired, but showed up anyway.
00:25:37.600 I can guarantee you, your kids are not going to remember the things they didn't get.
00:25:46.400 They will remember, in the end, the things that made them feel safe.
00:25:51.280 They will remember the sound of your voice.
00:25:53.960 They will remember that even when you were worried, you were the one that stood between them and fear.
00:26:01.520 That's not failure.
00:26:04.320 That's fatherhood.
00:26:06.120 And it's the most important thing.
00:26:07.960 I feel you because I have been there.
00:26:16.960 You are not broken.
00:26:18.860 You are not behind.
00:26:20.260 You are not less than.
00:26:23.120 You're not a failure.
00:26:25.140 Take courage.
00:26:26.680 You're laying the foundation that cannot be purchased, cannot be stolen, cannot be replaced.
00:26:34.380 No gift you can wrap will ever replace that.
00:26:40.540 Long after the toys are gone and the batteries and the trends have changed,
00:26:45.760 your children are going to stand on what you built,
00:26:50.760 and your children will call it home.
00:26:53.940 This is the best of the Glenn Beck program, and we really want to thank you for listening.
00:27:00.820 You know, there is this myth that men don't prepare for Christmas,
00:27:06.020 and I want you to know that's not true.
00:27:08.880 We do prepare for Christmas.
00:27:11.460 We just don't prepare out loud.
00:27:13.440 We don't prepare properly, and I think it's like we kind of prepare the way you would prepare
00:27:22.100 for a hostage negotiation that you don't remember agreeing to, you know?
00:27:27.360 And this day, every year this day comes.
00:27:31.060 I start vacation right after the show, and I'm very excited for it, very excited for vacation.
00:27:37.460 But it also comes with, oh, crap, now the responsibility is there, okay?
00:27:43.480 Because, you know, Christmas arrives on December 25th,
00:27:50.420 and as a man, you really started thinking about it maybe that evening, you know?
00:27:57.840 I mean, that's not fair because it actually starts.
00:28:00.500 The first time Christmas really arrives and you're reminded is the first time somebody,
00:28:04.820 usually your wife says, so what do you think your mom would want?
00:28:09.200 And that's the moment you realize, oh, crap, there's a checklist.
00:28:12.800 No one gave me a checklist.
00:28:14.540 I'm already behind because she's already on the checklist.
00:28:19.420 And so then you just, it's weird because you, at least I do, I prepare in phases, you know?
00:28:26.560 And the first phase is really simple.
00:28:31.160 It's early.
00:28:32.960 There's plenty of time.
00:28:34.820 Online shopping exists.
00:28:37.100 Oh, I got this one covered.
00:28:38.700 I'll be able to do that quickly.
00:28:40.260 Now, these are not thoughts.
00:28:44.280 These are lies we tell to ourselves so we can remain upright, okay?
00:28:50.280 At least that's the way I feel because I have, they're thoughts, but they are lies
00:28:57.380 because I know I'm not going to do any of those things, okay?
00:29:00.660 I promised myself at the time, this year is going to be different.
00:29:03.460 I'm going to do it.
00:29:04.240 You know what?
00:29:04.780 I'm going to get ahead.
00:29:05.780 Never, never happens.
00:29:06.940 Never happens.
00:29:07.780 And then you're standing there on Christmas Eve and you're like, I didn't do any of those things.
00:29:11.540 Last year, I think it was last year, maybe the year before, I actually looked for presents under the tree that I thought I had purchased.
00:29:20.920 And somehow or another were, you know, that wrapped themselves and found their way under the tree.
00:29:26.280 I, I swore I bought those presents.
00:29:29.980 No, nope.
00:29:30.940 I had a thought some point in maybe November thinking I'm way ahead of the game.
00:29:37.020 You know what I'm going to do?
00:29:37.680 I'm going to do that.
00:29:38.360 And I might've even gone online, looked at it, and then not completed the purchase because I'm going to get, I'm going to get back to that.
00:29:44.800 And then I don't.
00:29:45.440 And then I think it was last year.
00:29:47.360 I actually thought, no, I bought those.
00:29:51.300 My wife went, I look at the, I look at the MX every month, honey.
00:29:55.700 You, you, you didn't buy those gifts.
00:29:58.420 Really?
00:29:58.820 Cause I swear I, no.
00:30:02.400 So the second phase that we have is surveillance because I don't know about you, but I have no idea what to get anyone.
00:30:12.160 I have no idea.
00:30:14.280 None.
00:30:15.220 Zero.
00:30:15.960 So you begin to, you begin to listen for clues, kind of like you're decoding enemy transmissions.
00:30:22.480 You know, when somebody says, oh, that's pretty goes into the same dumpster in your mind where you were just doing,
00:30:28.600 I'm going to buy this.
00:30:29.460 Oh, I got this handled.
00:30:30.580 Oh, it's early.
00:30:31.340 There's that goes into that same file.
00:30:33.960 Oh, that's pretty.
00:30:34.980 Got to remember that.
00:30:36.240 She liked that.
00:30:38.240 Oh, you know what?
00:30:39.260 She really likes.
00:30:40.020 She really likes.
00:30:42.160 Okay.
00:30:42.940 I mean, I got the clue.
00:30:44.780 You just told me I'm going to make a mental note of it, but it's not going to survive the drive home.
00:30:50.800 It will be gone.
00:30:51.880 It will be gone.
00:30:53.500 And then again, on Christmas Eve, you're like, what was it?
00:30:56.480 She said she liked.
00:30:58.020 It's horrible.
00:30:59.500 Maybe this is just me.
00:31:01.000 It could very well be because I'm not good at this.
00:31:05.400 I'm not good at this.
00:31:06.300 Actually, I'm really good at this in my head.
00:31:13.100 Phase three.
00:31:15.320 The spreadsheet.
00:31:17.580 It doesn't exist.
00:31:18.900 The spreadsheet really, it just, it lives only in fear, you know, because you don't write anything down.
00:31:27.760 That would be a big help.
00:31:29.440 Write it down.
00:31:30.220 But then I'm, then I'm always thinking, I'll forget it in my pants.
00:31:33.840 And then I'll throw my pants in the washer.
00:31:35.320 And she'll say, I found your list in my pants.
00:31:37.460 So don't write it down.
00:31:39.220 I mean to write it down.
00:31:40.460 And by the way, the pants thing is a really good excuse.
00:31:42.820 Another lie.
00:31:43.620 Men tell themselves.
00:31:45.400 But I don't write it down.
00:31:49.100 I mean to, but writing down all the stuff you have to do, then it becomes real.
00:31:53.540 And if it's real, then you're going to fail.
00:31:56.280 Okay.
00:31:57.460 Because once it's real, once, you know, when it happened, you blow it, blew it again this year.
00:32:03.100 And then the final phase is phase four.
00:32:06.180 And that is the panic purchase.
00:32:08.640 This happens somewhere between now and Christmas.
00:32:14.440 And it happens at the point when shipping changes from arrives by Christmas to good luck with that.
00:32:23.540 Because all week I've been saying, remember, honey, I'm just going to tell you now, you're not getting the pajamas.
00:32:30.080 She wanted pajamas from Cozy Earth.
00:32:32.900 Had every intention every day.
00:32:35.020 Got to do that.
00:32:35.800 I read the spot every day and said, I'm going to buy her pajamas.
00:32:41.380 I didn't buy the pajamas because then I get off the air and I completely forget about it because I didn't write it down.
00:32:49.720 So, honey, I know it's not going to be a disappointment.
00:32:52.120 You know you aren't going to get the pajamas.
00:32:54.900 You're going to get an emergency.
00:32:56.740 Holy crap.
00:32:58.160 What can I get by Christmas?
00:33:01.500 That's what you get.
00:33:03.120 And you buy something expensive enough that it looks intentional.
00:33:08.480 You tell yourself this communicates love.
00:33:11.640 It doesn't.
00:33:12.640 It doesn't.
00:33:13.160 It communicates urgency.
00:33:16.260 This was the thing that I got.
00:33:19.760 I spent extra money on it because I didn't want you to think that it was just an emergency.
00:33:25.260 But she knows.
00:33:26.240 She knows.
00:33:26.660 So, today I have to put the checklist together.
00:33:33.820 And it's all going to live in my head.
00:33:40.760 So, here's the real checklist that every man should have.
00:33:44.320 Okay.
00:33:44.600 The real checklist.
00:33:48.060 Pretend wrapping paper doesn't matter.
00:33:55.420 Okay.
00:33:56.000 Just pretend.
00:33:59.280 Next on the list.
00:34:01.060 Discover it matters deeply.
00:34:03.980 Next on the list.
00:34:05.220 Pretend cards don't matter.
00:34:08.800 Next one on the list.
00:34:10.060 Discover they matter deeply.
00:34:12.980 That one.
00:34:13.640 I still don't understand that one.
00:34:16.000 I blow that every single year.
00:34:19.940 Every year.
00:34:22.160 Where's the card?
00:34:23.020 Oh, I didn't get a card and write stuff in it.
00:34:24.820 I'm sorry.
00:34:25.460 I didn't do it.
00:34:27.300 It wasn't on my checklist.
00:34:29.340 I meant to.
00:34:30.120 At one point in the last month, I did think I should get a card.
00:34:34.340 And I'm going to get a really good card this year.
00:34:36.120 And then I don't get a card.
00:34:39.700 Next on the checklist.
00:34:40.780 Just rewrap the same box three times because you're never going to get it right.
00:34:46.380 And then convince yourself that dad wrapping adds charm.
00:34:51.260 Know that it doesn't, but convince yourself of that.
00:34:54.960 Then there's the all-important social checklist.
00:34:58.540 And I still don't have these down.
00:35:03.600 Remember the names of all the relatives that you've known for decades.
00:35:09.000 That you cannot remember their names.
00:35:12.960 Remember their names this year.
00:35:14.280 Because they're coming.
00:35:15.320 And you're going to be like, oh my gosh, it's Ant.
00:35:19.160 I love you.
00:35:20.460 And I don't really remember.
00:35:22.260 I mean, I remember you, but I don't remember your name.
00:35:24.880 And it's very, very awkward now.
00:35:26.380 Because you know I don't know your name.
00:35:29.800 Remember the names.
00:35:30.740 Act surprised by gifts you absolutely knew were coming.
00:35:36.200 Say, oh wow, in different tones.
00:35:39.520 So it sounds sincere and not like the same, oh wow.
00:35:46.100 Really important one.
00:35:47.540 Don't buy any clothes for your daughters.
00:35:49.900 Nope.
00:35:51.000 Nope.
00:35:51.920 Don't do it.
00:35:53.120 They'll never wear them.
00:35:54.080 They don't like them.
00:35:55.920 Dad, my dad bought this for me.
00:35:58.000 Don't.
00:35:58.580 Just don't do it.
00:35:59.720 As hard as I try, I have pretty good taste.
00:36:01.700 I think I have pretty good taste.
00:36:03.020 Nope.
00:36:03.820 None of my daughters have my taste.
00:36:05.620 None of them.
00:36:07.280 And so that either means that we're just all wildly different.
00:36:10.780 Or I don't have good taste.
00:36:13.520 One of those two.
00:36:14.660 I'm not sure.
00:36:16.380 Then you get to the emotional checklist.
00:36:19.360 And this is the most important one.
00:36:21.360 And if you're a new father, please understand, you must get these down quickly.
00:36:29.640 Okay?
00:36:31.720 When a gift is given to your daughter, she's growing up, don't say, wow, that's a little
00:36:40.260 short, isn't it?
00:36:41.540 Don't do it.
00:36:43.060 Don't do it.
00:36:44.740 I mean, my daughter could come dressed in a full length gown and I'd be like, it's a
00:36:50.500 little short, isn't it?
00:36:52.540 I don't know.
00:36:53.300 When it's your daughter, you know, there's something that happens with your daughter.
00:36:57.200 Burkas don't actually sound bad for your daughter during high school years.
00:37:03.580 I'm just saying.
00:37:05.160 I'm just saying.
00:37:06.040 You know why?
00:37:06.860 Because you know exactly how guys think.
00:37:09.920 No, they don't.
00:37:10.880 Yes, they do.
00:37:11.960 No, they don't.
00:37:12.840 Dad, you don't know.
00:37:14.020 Yes, I do.
00:37:17.060 At dinner, don't say, did we forget the sweet potatoes?
00:37:21.660 You had nothing to do with it.
00:37:23.220 The adding of we, she knows.
00:37:25.860 She's already gone.
00:37:26.840 I forgot the sweet potato.
00:37:28.980 You're not making things better.
00:37:31.280 Don't ask, how much did that cost?
00:37:34.140 Don't do it.
00:37:35.900 In fact, forget that last one.
00:37:38.060 Here's what you need to do.
00:37:40.560 Don't say anything.
00:37:43.100 That's what you have to do.
00:37:44.080 As a dad, during the holidays, just don't say anything.
00:37:47.960 Just keep it to yourself.
00:37:49.820 Got a question?
00:37:50.460 Don't answer it.
00:37:51.360 Don't ask it.
00:37:52.420 You have a comment to make?
00:37:54.140 Don't make it.
00:37:54.800 Don't make it.
00:37:55.520 Okay?
00:37:55.920 Don't.
00:37:56.480 Under any circumstances, don't say things like, next year, I think we should simplify.
00:38:01.800 Nope.
00:38:02.580 Nobody's going to go for that.
00:38:04.360 Keep that one to yourself.
00:38:06.620 Basically, forget everything on the checklist.
00:38:08.300 Just do this.
00:38:08.940 This is the only thing you need to remember.
00:38:11.720 Dad, just don't ruin Christmas.
00:38:16.380 That's all you need to know.
00:38:18.360 Done.
00:38:19.900 Oh, and cards and writing crap in them is really, really, really important.
00:38:25.280 No, no, no, no, no.
00:38:27.240 No, no, no, no.
00:38:28.340 No, no.
00:38:29.360 No, no, no, no.
00:38:29.600 No, no, no.
00:38:34.740 No, no, no.
00:38:39.160 No, no, no, no.
00:38:42.440 And cards and things like that.
00:38:44.700 No, no, no.
00:38:45.360 So, we need to know what goes if you can make them to remember.