Best of the Program ｜ Guests： Ken Paxton & Nick Di Paolo ｜ 9⧸18⧸19
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Summary
Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin are joined by the 12th Imam to discuss Iran, China releases 10,000 metric tons of pork, and climate anxiety is on the rise among activists. Plus, a look at how climate change activists are dealing with it.
Transcript
00:00:02.700
We start again with Ilhan Omar because she's got a, don't you think, Pat, a pretty good explanation?
00:00:08.100
Yeah, yeah, some wild coincidences going on there.
00:00:14.540
Later in the podcast, the 12th Imam shows up, and he's speaking to us from the well that he fell in in 873.
00:00:28.160
We explained what's happening in Iran with Saudi Arabia.
00:00:31.380
Giving you analysis on that, I don't think anybody else does.
00:00:49.540
You're listening to the best of the Glenn Beck program.
00:00:59.720
China has just released 10,000 metric tons of pork from its central reserves this week in a bid to stabilize soaring pork prices and cope with swine fever crisis that has wiped out roughly one third of its pigs.
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So they have 10,000 metric tons of pork that they're releasing.
00:01:47.420
I mean, eventually, you've got to eat that stuff or it's going to...
00:01:50.140
I mean, even frozen, you wouldn't want to keep it for years, would you?
00:02:02.200
Like, we have to cycle through our oil reserves, don't we?
00:02:06.960
That's a pretty good idea, that you have pork reserves.
00:02:10.180
What I'd like to know is, do we have ice cream reserves?
00:02:36.960
Who doesn't think we need at least 10,000 tons of pudding?
00:02:54.700
There is this story that I find really, really immoral.
00:03:03.460
I find the people who are making people feel this way immoral.
00:03:11.660
I was the perpetrator of a giant con on the American people, and I was just trying to make
00:03:23.820
Uh, and that was really bad, to be a fear monger, and to make people afraid.
00:03:29.340
A growing body of evidence suggests climate change activists the world over are increasingly
00:03:37.040
suffer from eco-anxiety, experiencing mental health episodes triggered by the stress of
00:03:43.620
worrying about the Earth's pending doom from global warming.
00:03:52.860
In order to combat the condition, climate anxiety support groups are cropping up, according
00:03:57.640
to the Daily Beast, and the seats are filling up.
00:04:01.240
The Beast reported the rise of climate anxiety groups in the U.S., calling the gatherings the
00:04:09.260
In order to meet the rise in demand, counselors and clinicians are getting trained up on how to
00:04:14.000
treat this special group of patients, and I believe they are really special.
00:04:18.700
Who feel weighed down by the doom and gloom surrounding the movement.
00:04:26.020
Well, let me just finish it, because I've got to get to a couple of the quotes.
00:04:30.020
More than 250 people now have participated in Good Grief, the 10-step eco-anxiety support
00:04:37.520
program which mimics the structure of Alcoholics Anonymous.
00:04:42.180
They need a program like AA to be able to control the fear that the Earth is doomed.
00:04:53.540
Activist Lin Wang told the outlet that she decided to launch a support group after becoming
00:05:05.760
People would say, isn't it great that the world is ending in 12 years?
00:05:19.120
Isn't it great the world is going to end in 12 years?
00:05:21.640
But it's in the back of people's minds, and it's constantly over our heads.
00:05:26.000
There is a real fear for the next generation thinking about the future.
00:05:30.480
I can't imagine planning for the future when we only have 12 years.
00:05:39.500
What the media, what the politicians, and everyone else is doing to our fellow citizens and humans.
00:05:48.280
What's going to happen when you haven't planned beyond 12 years, and then all of a sudden,
00:06:00.840
They are starting an eco-anxiety 12-step program.
00:06:10.080
I mean, even in the Daily Beast story, where is the media at the Daily Beast saying,
00:06:15.500
by the way, the world's not going to be over in 12 years.
00:06:38.200
And if you like what you hear on the program, you should check out Pat Gray Unleashed.
00:06:42.340
His podcast is available wherever you download your favorite podcast.
00:06:45.740
At the request of a number of committees of Congress and for reasons of transparency,
00:06:50.220
the President of the United States has just directed the Office of the Director of National Intelligence
00:06:55.500
and the Department of Justice, including the FBI,
00:06:58.800
to provide for the immediate declassification of the following materials.
00:07:03.280
One, pages 10 through 12 and 17 through 34 of the June 2017 application to the FISA court
00:07:13.280
Two, all FBI reports of interviews with Bruce G. Orr prepared in connection with the Russian investigation.
00:07:21.420
And three, all FBI reports of interviews prepared in connection with all Carter Page FISA applications.
00:07:28.960
In addition, President Trump has directed the Department of Justice, including the FBI,
00:07:33.740
to publicly release all text messages relating to the Russia investigation
00:07:38.300
without redaction of James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, and Bruce Orr.
00:07:49.940
I want to bring Jason Batrill in, who we're going to talk about a couple of things.
00:07:53.900
Jason, I'm going to get to Iran here in a second, but first, tell me the significance of this.
00:08:00.320
First off, the FISA applications, that's significant because that's what we've been asking for.
00:08:04.400
It's like, if anything went weird with that, like if the Fusion GPS thing,
00:08:09.300
did that have anything to do with any of this, which was what we suspected, they denied.
00:08:16.040
They denied that they used the Fusion GPS as the reason to get the FISA court to say,
00:08:24.340
Which goes through the Trump dossier, all of those things.
00:08:28.060
The addition also linking Bruce Orr and the text messages with Comey.
00:08:35.440
So Bruce Orr was the, he was the DOJ, what was he, he was like the, he was high up.
00:08:49.080
Then she was delivering information straight to Bruce Orr.
00:08:53.640
And then Bruce Orr was giving that information over to Comey and the gang.
00:08:57.320
So this is, what's incredible about this is this shows, this may show, we'll see all the declassifications,
00:09:05.680
but I can't imagine the White House is releasing it if it doesn't.
00:09:12.400
It should show that they did use Fusion GPS, not anything to do with Carter Page.
00:09:23.020
Carter Page, remember they say, was under investigation for something else.
00:09:29.420
Our research, if I remember this right, our research showed that, no, that had been investigated
00:09:39.120
Everybody thought he was just an imbecile, right?
00:09:41.640
Literally, the Russia, they had investigated him before, back, remember back during the
00:09:47.600
They were investigating him around then because he was just trying, he was like an energy guy
00:09:50.920
and he was trying to get into like people involved with global energy.
00:09:54.400
And there were two, or not KGB, there were two Soviet SVR, like their former KGB, contacted
00:10:03.080
And then they, I guess the NSA or somebody in some intelligence agency actually got phone
00:10:07.540
intercepts of these Russian agents saying, that guy is a moron.
00:10:11.260
So stay away from, literally, that's pretty much a direct quote.
00:10:22.740
But then, coincidentally, the FISA court says, oh, you can go back and look at him because
00:10:31.700
And they've said it had nothing to do with his, with the Russian fusion GPS dossier on
00:10:45.100
Well, we're about to find out because we think it had everything to do with that.
00:10:49.920
And even the things that we know of, about the FISA application, this looked weird.
00:10:55.200
They kept saying, no, we didn't base it all on the Steele dossier.
00:10:57.740
They said that we referenced it, but it wasn't like the main evidence.
00:11:00.840
They also, remember, included a Yahoo News article that said, now this journalist is on
00:11:05.300
to something because he references stuff, some of the same stuff that's in the Trump dossier.
00:11:10.040
Well, that's because Christopher Steele delivered that journalist at Yahoo News, the dossier.
00:11:15.820
So they referenced two things that were exactly the same thing, but tried to make it look
00:11:20.600
So the question is, did they say that to the judge?
00:11:23.960
Because they said, no, we were absolutely clear with everything.
00:11:37.820
I mean, because that's the real connection here is what did the wife feed the husband
00:11:50.200
So it's surprising that this came out today just out of the blue, but we'll see if anyone
00:11:57.540
pays attention to it because everybody is, oh, everybody's defending the Kavanaugh story on
00:12:03.060
the left and everybody is defending the impeachment process with the Kavanaugh story.
00:12:12.920
I find the story of the climate change people having to go have therapy because they believe
00:12:23.440
I find that a real story and I find that a real story in this way.
00:12:28.660
The media and the politicians are they needed to have an enemy.
00:12:35.280
They needed to have a bad guy to be able to take down capitalism.
00:12:39.580
And so they invented that it's bigger than World War Two.
00:12:43.960
They invented their own Hitler and their own Hitler is anything that hurts the climate.
00:12:49.380
And they have scared people to the point to where they believe they only have 12 years
00:12:56.580
Imagine, imagine if I said to you that there is a cult where millions of people are now
00:13:04.520
believing there's only 12 years to live and they're changing everything in their life
00:13:12.800
Do you think there would be an outcry from the left?
00:13:16.620
You know, there would because there's been people like that.
00:13:29.900
Up in New York, they are now allowing school children.
00:13:36.540
School districts were debating what position to take when after New York City announced
00:13:41.300
1.1 million public school children could skip classes without any penalties to join the
00:13:53.240
One million kids are going to leave school on Friday.
00:13:56.720
And, you know, half of them, three quarters of them just want to get out of school.
00:14:00.720
Yeah, my kids, if my kids came home and said their school was doing this and dad, I can
00:14:06.100
leave school on Friday, I'd say, no, no, no, you're going to go to school on Friday and
00:14:17.660
And you wonder why these kids are so propagandized, why they believe it so much, why they're so afraid,
00:14:25.300
Why they're committing suicide, there's nothing of importance.
00:14:33.780
You're telling them their world is burning up all around them.
00:14:51.580
And then on top of it, you have the real crisis of, hey, I don't know what's going to happen with freedom.
00:15:01.040
And you can't say that that's, oh, well, see, that's the right conspiracy.
00:15:09.200
They don't have, they don't know what their jobs are going to be like.
00:15:12.380
They don't know if they're going to be able to even afford college or if they do, if it's going to be just going to just be an anchor around their neck.
00:15:20.400
Can you imagine what it is like to be a kid in today's world?
00:15:30.800
And they don't have the experience to know that, okay, I see through this nonsense.
00:15:38.620
Some of them can see through it because they hear both sides.
00:15:40.640
Maybe their parents are, you know, helping to educate them.
00:15:44.120
If you can think this through, I think you could be okay.
00:15:48.120
But if you're not, if you're just accepting what your teachers are telling you.
00:15:51.720
If you think this through and you speak out, then you get the joy of being a pariah.
00:15:57.740
Do you remember how hard it was to be in part of the in crowd when you were a kid?
00:16:10.640
And how many of us would have been able to do it?
00:16:14.840
And you would have said, ah, my parents, they're old.
00:16:17.420
Because that's what the media and the politicians are telling them to say.
00:16:28.780
I read a story today about how the Democrats are trying just to create the image of chaos.
00:16:36.420
So people will say, I can't handle this with Donald Trump.
00:16:39.400
That that's what these impeachment hearings really are all about.
00:16:44.940
And people will say, I just I just want a president who's not causing all this chaos thinking because of their their friends in the media that they can control that and to make sure that the chaos is blamed.
00:16:58.500
Not on the Democrats who are doing it intentionally, but on the president.
00:17:03.700
What did I tell you when I read that story today, I saw the word chaos and I thought, what did I tell you 10 years ago, 10 years ago?
00:17:16.020
I said, the word of the future is going to be chaos.
00:17:19.020
And anyone, anyone who is trying to create chaos will be on the wrong side.
00:17:31.760
Look at the New York Times, what they did just this week.
00:17:36.840
They they they intentionally deleted information that would have made this accusation into what it actually is.
00:17:49.020
But instead, they let that run cause chaos for a few days and then get let the Democrats get their chaos plan together and say, we got to go impeach.
00:18:01.360
And it stops us from talking about the real issues that we really face.
00:18:06.240
Try to find stories about what we should do with Iran.
00:18:20.180
We should be talking about what we are to do with Saudi Arabia and Iran.
00:18:30.800
You hear it's it's it's Donald Trump's fault because he pulled out of the treaty.
00:18:35.360
Well, if this is true, what they said yesterday, let me bring Jason back in.
00:18:45.480
It was done by the IRGC, which is the arm of the Mullah, the military arm of the Mullah doesn't have to go through politics.
00:18:58.280
And what the Saudis and America claimed yesterday, and apparently the proof is coming in the next couple of days today and tomorrow.
00:19:06.920
According to the proof that we have that they say they have, it was those missiles were fired from Iran.
00:19:22.020
The conventional response would be an automatic military strike from that we would do.
00:19:28.360
Yeah, that's this this this you we are now looking at a Beirut situation.
00:19:33.160
If you don't act, are you empowering them to continue these things?
00:19:37.680
If you do act, are you starting a global war with people that want to caliphate in the return of the 12th Imam?
00:19:45.340
Yeah, the attack was so problematic for the Trump administration.
00:19:49.540
You attack them and Iran just threatened us with this.
00:19:52.740
They said that we will respond to your retaliation, but not necessarily just in that area.
00:19:57.680
What they mean is all their militias they've planted all over the globe.
00:20:00.840
So one of the one of the things that we are also concerned about is we look like we're going to do cyber attacks.
00:20:09.080
Well, the more cyber attacks we do, the more likely it is for others to respond to us with cyber attacks.
00:20:24.020
Now, we might hit their nuclear power plant, but if you're a terrorist or you're Iran, you just hit our grid and shut it down.
00:20:36.020
We're not talking about any of this because we have agents of chaos stirring things up about Kavanaugh and everything else.
00:20:48.480
I urge you to stay focused on the things that actually matter.
00:21:09.820
And if you like what you hear on the program, you should check out Pat Gray Unleashed.
00:21:13.960
His podcast is available wherever you download your favorite podcast.
00:21:17.440
Ken Paxton is the 51st attorney general of Texas.
00:21:22.400
He has he's one of the guys who well, he started a special unit dedicated to combating human trafficking in Texas in the first year of existence.
00:21:34.020
He helped arrest the chief executive officer of Backpage dot com, the largest online sex trafficking marketplace in the United States.
00:21:42.960
He filed suits on Obama for federal overreach 22 times.
00:21:54.580
So I wanted to talk to you a little bit about the attorney.
00:21:56.560
I mean, the the Google lawsuit that several states have filed.
00:22:01.560
Filed and find out if this has any real teeth to it.
00:22:07.280
Google is is absolutely out of control, as you know.
00:22:11.660
And I think we have very little time to actually get our arms around this before they are just all powerful and there's nothing you can do.
00:22:20.860
What does your lawsuit lay out and what are the chances of changing Google at all?
00:22:34.940
And there are 50 different attorney generals that have joined on.
00:22:45.000
And so the way this starts off with that, we are allowed to issue what are called investigative demands.
00:22:50.640
So we sent questions for Google, pages of questions about how they advertise.
00:22:56.860
And so so many people think that the Internet is free and that their searching is free.
00:23:09.140
But the problem that we have seen, the problem we're investigating is they control every aspect of advertising on the Internet.
00:23:18.520
They represent the sellers on the other side, the websites and the publishers.
00:23:22.440
And then they also control the exchange and the negotiation between the two parties.
00:23:29.420
And from what we can see, they've eliminated competition every time, either by buying them or finding a way to, you know, create their technology.
00:23:39.840
So what do you say to the free market people who say, look, you know, why punish a company that's doing well?
00:23:48.320
So I am a total free market guy, and I'm not here to punish Google for doing well.
00:23:54.480
So the founders of our country were worried about power being concentrated in the hands of too few people.
00:24:00.120
And so they created a government that was divided, and they left the rest of the power of the state.
00:24:03.320
They were also worried about big banks, and they were worried about too much power concentration among large banks.
00:24:11.040
And I think if they were here today, they would have some concern.
00:24:13.440
And I have some concern about, you know, a few technology companies that, you know, control too much of the market.
00:24:21.040
And therefore, our consumers are at a detriment because right now, when you advertise, these advertisers are paying a premium to advertise.
00:24:30.600
The consumers think they're getting free searches.
00:24:32.460
They're paying higher prices than they should for a lot of products because there's no competition in that marketplace.
00:24:38.840
And, you know, I want a free market, and I'm not sure we have one right now.
00:24:42.940
So are we going after any of the states concerned about privacy and the collection of data and listening to people and all of that?
00:24:54.640
It's, you know, we started off, we spent a lot of time talking to, you know, experts in technology.
00:25:00.040
We spent a lot of time out in California just talking to lawyers, talking to people that understood this.
00:25:05.400
We started down this path of advertising because it relates to our powers as attorney generals.
00:25:11.360
But if the facts lead us to privacy issues, then we'll follow that path as well.
00:25:16.980
So what are you hoping that – what's the solution here with Google?
00:25:21.660
So I try to go into investigations not presuming any particular remedy.
00:25:26.240
We want – we have a lot of information that we hope that Google will provide in an organized fashion.
00:25:33.200
In the past, like Missouri looked, you know, on their own when Josh Hawley, who's now a U.S. senator, was the attorney general of Missouri,
00:25:41.220
and Jim Hood, who was in Mississippi, they individually tried to look at Google, and Google just buried them with documents.
00:25:48.060
And, you know, I'm hopeful that our – they have 30 days of response to our request.
00:25:53.460
They will provide an organized response, specific responses to our questions that will help us determine whether we need to pursue something further or not.
00:26:08.200
Yesterday, the president came out and said that California doesn't have a right to ask for, you know, changes in cars and their own gasoline and everything else.
00:26:23.160
Doesn't Texas – if Texas wanted to say, hey, GM, we don't accept those cars.
00:26:28.460
We have to have – they all have to be fitted with a Texan defibrillator.
00:26:32.560
Wouldn't the people of Texas have the right to do that?
00:26:38.120
I think the states have a lot – they have all the authority that wasn't specifically granted to the federal government.
00:26:43.580
So unless there's a specific something that gives the federal government the power to preempt state law, I would argue that, you know, every state would have a right to deal with the manufacturers in the way that they see fit.
00:26:59.820
The statement was that we have a national car industry, and California doesn't have the right to disrupt that.
00:27:09.540
Well, we all know California tries to disrupt a lot of things.
00:27:18.000
And in most cases, you know, they have a right to take their shot, and we have to figure out how we're going to respond because they control so much of the market.
00:27:26.320
They do sometimes, you know, affect the rest of the nation because, you know, every company will sort of follow what California wants.
00:27:37.960
I mean, everything that wasn't specifically given to the federal government is reserved for the state.
00:27:45.480
He is the attorney general for the state of Texas.
00:27:48.720
And there is so much going on, Ken, that I just don't even know where you even begin.
00:27:55.760
Can we talk a little bit about gun legislation?
00:28:01.000
You know, the shooting here in Texas was just horrible, as they all are.
00:28:07.780
Beto is now saying that he's talking to Texans who just say, I want to give up my AR.
00:28:13.380
I mean, I don't know a single Texan that would say that, but okay, if that's what you want to do.
00:28:17.960
So are we or is the state of Texas firm on the Second Amendment?
00:28:26.880
So what I would say to somebody that wants to give up their AR, I'd say, go ahead.
00:28:34.880
And, you know, we all know that the Second Amendment was put in place because the founders didn't trust the federal government.
00:28:41.620
They didn't trust the government that they were creating.
00:28:44.060
And they wanted the citizens to have the ability to fight back if they ever had to.
00:28:53.640
Certainly when you have several shootings in a row, people start clamoring for solutions.
00:28:58.940
And I'm there for trying to come up with solutions.
00:29:02.880
But taking away guns from law-abiding citizens, to me, makes so little sense.
00:29:09.320
I mean, these guys that walk into, you know, Walmarts or churches and shoot people and murder people
00:29:16.400
are not going to follow any gun law just defies common sense.
00:29:21.220
And it's not—we're not looking into—I don't know if you've seen that series on Netflix, Mindhunter,
00:29:29.440
but it's about the FBI guys that originally went in and said,
00:29:38.900
No, we're trying to understand them so we can predict.
00:29:42.540
Nobody's talking about actually what's happening in the lives of these kids.
00:29:54.720
These guns have been around for decades, and we didn't have this problem.
00:30:01.740
No, I think that's a great point, and I think that's something—we ought to be doing research on these people.
00:30:07.820
We ought to be looking at countries that have dealt with this issue.
00:30:11.440
We ought to be looking at maybe even states that have been more successful and find out what is actually working where
00:30:17.800
and try to not reinvent the wheel but try to follow practices that help us.
00:30:23.980
Look, we're in a world that's not perfect, and there's always going to be evil people,
00:30:28.880
and there have been since the beginning of time.
00:30:31.060
We're not going to be able to perfectly stop this.
00:30:32.820
But if we put people in a position, say, in the Walmart in my state, had there been somebody with a weapon,
00:30:40.000
apparently there was a guy throwing Coke cans at them to slow them down, and you got shot twice.
00:30:43.960
But Coke cans are not going to slow a shooter down too much.
00:30:46.900
So had there been somebody that could have reacted more quickly, we could have saved lots of lives.
00:30:53.900
My best to the governor, and keep up the good work.
00:31:02.160
Ken Paxton, attorney general of the great state of Texas.
00:31:11.780
Had you heard the story of the guy that threw Coke cans at him?
00:31:16.760
I mean, that's what you're told to do all the time, is throw things at him.
00:31:21.900
Instead, if he would have not had a Coke can, if he could have just reached behind his back and pulled out a gun,
00:31:31.500
I mean, that's what people just don't understand, and they think, because in the 70s we went to this first responder mentality, that that's something that came into the 1970s.
00:31:47.080
You had to take care of it yourself if you could.
00:31:53.440
You know, you didn't wait on the plane for them to crash into the Capitol or the Pentagon or the White House.
00:32:00.900
They were the first responders, and you got to do what you can do.
00:32:10.740
And people just, they don't trust people with guns.
00:32:21.260
It's laying on the desk or it's, you know, wherever, and it's all secure, but they freak out.
00:32:54.820
You are about to meet an endangered species, a comedian without a filter.
00:33:02.120
We're hoping he continues to have one on this program.
00:33:09.460
And you can find that at nickdip.com, nickdip.com.
00:33:34.520
I know that because you were vaping for a while, right?
00:33:40.080
My friends kept saying, you know, why don't you try all those e-cigarettes?
00:33:44.340
And I'm like, well, I'd look more manly with a sex toy in my mouth.
00:33:49.540
Who wants a cigarette with steam coming off the end of it?
00:34:05.820
It's supposed to be, yeah, you vape and then you stop vaping.
00:34:12.700
Well, the new thing, the new campaign as far as smoking is sitting is the new smoking, Glenn.
00:34:19.260
In other words, sitting is as bad for you as smoking.
00:34:21.700
If that's true, Stephen Hawking would have died 30 years ago.
00:34:25.960
This guy must have been a three-count-a-day guy.
00:34:42.740
And I just started smoking a year and a half ago.
00:34:46.440
And my friend's like, why would you start at this age?
00:34:50.460
If you'd have cancer in your 40s, I'm timing it out.
00:34:54.520
If a doctor tells me I have cancer in 25 years, I'm going to kiss him on the forehead.
00:34:59.520
Do you see many happy 80-year-old guys out there?
00:35:05.960
So, do you have a problem with the whole stop the vaping thing?
00:35:10.860
I mean, these kids that are dying from it are not doing anything legal.
00:35:21.040
I mean, if you put heroin into a bong, I'm pretty sure it's going to hurt you.
00:35:37.640
You know, Nick, there's a couple of stories that I'd like to get your take on.
00:35:43.720
He's the guy who was hired by Saturday Night Live.
00:35:47.360
Then they found a video, two videos of him, you know, hanging out on this podcast with his friend.
00:35:52.760
And just saying, quote, vile things, end quote.
00:36:11.400
And he said, well, I opened it for you in a comedy club in McGoobie's in Baltimore two years ago.
00:36:21.400
I think I did that with the skid marks in Buffalo.
00:36:24.100
But my take on that is it's typical NBC, typical Lorne Michaels, typical SNL.
00:36:35.540
They have Alec Baldwin on there for the last two years.
00:36:40.260
This guy, Alec Baldwin, actually called a black journalist a coon and a crackhead.
00:36:46.160
So they I bring up Tracy Morgan, who when his wife was pregnant, said, if I have a son and it's gay, I'm going to kill it.
00:36:56.820
And now they're going to have Eddie Murphy on December 21st.
00:37:00.460
And nobody has made the word more popular than Eddie Murphy's albums.
00:37:06.840
The only thing Shane Gillis could be guilty of is being unoriginal.
00:37:10.540
But it was on a podcast that 11 people are going to hear.
00:37:32.000
My point is it was an easy call for NBC because he's a straight white Irish guy.
00:37:40.180
I don't want to hear anymore how how fearless black gay women comedian are.
00:37:47.560
Political correctness does not get them canned.
00:37:51.700
And he's a hero of mine, by the way, and he should be.
00:37:54.260
But but there's only the truly edgy comics, all the white guys, 57.
00:37:59.400
I love how you referred to my special as a train wreck.
00:38:01.940
Well, there's a ringing in the noise that it's like watching a train.
00:38:06.360
It's very, very funny, but it is like watching.
00:38:09.800
You just know somebody's going to die in the end.
00:38:21.700
OK, and I appreciate you bringing up Jon Stewart, who loves me.
00:38:26.020
And I have a bunch of liberal comics who love me.
00:38:31.880
This is how people talked in 2016 when they voted for Trump.
00:38:35.560
I will continue to do so until Google knocks on my door and then they will have a showdown
00:38:41.560
But do you know anybody else, Nick, that does what you do?
00:38:44.140
Do you know anybody else that has just not batted an eye at what everybody is saying?
00:39:01.080
I don't watch other comics, so you might be right.
00:39:07.020
Somebody should have put an amber alert out for his chin.
00:39:26.600
Maybe some of the homophobic stuff caught up to him.
00:39:30.940
But he made zillions of dollars and he's hosting.
00:39:33.960
And like I said, there's a double standard there that makes me sick.
00:39:38.840
Lorne Michaels, I'll tell you, when it was really in the dumps, the sixth season, Lorne
00:39:50.120
Then he did some bad movies where he was talking to animals and stuff.
00:39:56.500
He's reading the same scripts as Robert De Niro, apparently.
00:40:02.100
How, how psychologically difficult is it to be Eddie Murphy and then Eddie Murphy
00:40:29.820
If you're asking if you could say it because you're not sure, I think the answer should
00:40:41.020
Somebody, Chris Rock posted something and somebody put it on Reddit.
00:40:45.660
And he said, there's a white guy out there who I absolutely love.
00:40:50.160
And he says, me and Arsenio Hall love this guy.
00:41:08.500
He says, we were, we were at, uh, he was at, um, Eddie Murphy's house or Arsenio Hall's
00:41:15.460
Jamie Foxx was there and a couple other famous black comics who said they absolutely love me.
00:41:22.600
So I don't know, you know, but they also say you're a racist.
00:41:41.520
You know, I used to bring up ideas and pitch meetings.
00:41:53.760
And the point is, I get famous black people who are rich and famous and the comedians who
00:42:03.400
Um, let me, uh, let me, uh, let me, let me switch, uh, subjects.
00:42:09.740
I've got time for one more thing that I, I'd love to hear your opinion on.
00:42:13.880
There's a story out today that is slightly different, but it, somebody called me about a month ago and said, Hey, you know, these emotional support
00:42:22.860
animals, you know, wait until they put horses on, uh, aircrafts.
00:42:29.020
And it did where this woman brought an emotional support pony.
00:42:37.140
The person sitting next to her had the pony face on their lap the whole time, which is you're, if you're fat, you got to buy two seats.
00:42:48.220
I've sat, I've sat next to people that are bigger than Shetland ponies.
00:42:52.360
So I don't know how this, but, but, uh, but this emotional support that I saw a woman on my last flight, two people had emotional support cats.
00:43:02.860
Can you name another animal on a planet that's more, uh, emotionally detached?
00:43:13.500
You could be committing suicide on your kitchen floor and the cat would walk through your blood to make sure there was some meow.
00:43:23.280
An emotional support cat has three emotional support monkeys and the neighbors dangerous.
00:43:40.720
A Missouri woman is fighting to keep three monkeys.
00:43:43.760
She says, help her cope with her post-traumatic stress disorder.
00:43:47.180
After her neighbors have expressed concern that her monkeys are dangerous.
00:43:51.820
Uh, I believe in the rule of law, if they're considered a dangerous animal can carry something as nasty as hepatitis, they shouldn't be here.
00:43:58.520
Um, she says this is the only thing that helps her through her day or the three emotional support monkeys.
00:44:11.900
I mean, after that thing in Connecticut, remember that lady's face?
00:44:16.900
This woman, uh, they, you're my, no, they weren't my monkeys.
00:44:20.660
I wish they were my monkeys, but I would have selectively targeted.
00:44:27.980
It was a chimp gets out, tears the face off of this, this neighbor woman literally tears her face off.
00:44:39.200
She's had to have surgery after surgery after surgery.
00:44:45.620
She looked like, she looks like a football that Tom Brady let the air of.
00:44:53.020
But let me say, if you're relying on a monkey, an animal that's known for chronic masturbation and flinging feces at each other, you get bigger problems than your neighbor.
00:45:09.020
He's got a podcast every day you can listen to.
00:45:14.920
Uh, but, uh, well, I think he would say, but black people love him.
00:45:31.480
And if you like what you hear on the program, you should check out Pat Gray Unleashed.
00:45:35.720
His podcast is available wherever you download your favorite podcast.
00:45:45.840
Hi, this is Mohammed Ibn al-Hasan al-Mahdi here.
00:45:49.640
You know, the 12th Imam you've been talking about.
00:45:53.780
Look, I'm just channeling myself into your frequency right now because, uh, frankly, I'm
00:46:01.240
You're sick of the, you're the 12th Imam and you're, you're contacting us from the well.
00:46:09.820
By the way, can I just clear something up here?
00:46:12.420
I am not the 12th Imam in those photos with Ilan Omar and her dad.
00:46:23.460
That's just a guy whose nickname is the 12th Imam.
00:46:29.800
Still, listen, I heard you with that DiPaolo guy.
00:46:37.700
Because if you don't, I mean, I, look, I don't like to make threats, but your blood will
00:46:41.360
run like the river Nile in the streets and buzzards will pick at your disgusting fat carcass.
00:46:50.620
So, uh, so you've been in the well for, uh, for a while now.
00:46:57.460
Not that I know there's a difference between the other.
00:46:59.840
No, I, I, I, uh, let me tell you the story if I could.
00:47:05.260
Uh, because I was in, I'm in that well in Samaria that I fell into back when I was four
00:47:20.500
I still remember that beautiful morning when she said to me, sweetie, you'll be safe down here.
00:47:27.200
And she gave me a tuna fish sandwich and a falafel and she lowered me down.
00:47:32.700
You really, that year was, uh, it was back in 873, 873 and you, and you've survived this
00:47:38.900
whole time on that tuna fish sandwich and falafel.
00:47:42.480
I, I've just been pacing myself, you know, little bites at a time.
00:47:46.100
Uh, but look, safety first, the tuna fish sandwich has not been in the sun.
00:47:52.720
So, uh, so, so what have you been working on that whole time?
00:47:55.720
Oh, I, I, I've been doing a lot of stuff down here.
00:47:58.140
I've been working on free universal Fidel healthcare.
00:48:02.500
I didn't, uh, I didn't, uh, that's, it's shocking that you're aware of.
00:48:11.040
But the universal infidel healthcare includes, let's say you have a brain tumor.
00:48:17.980
Uh, like what if you have combination skin or the heartbreak of psoriasis?
00:48:23.660
Now, women's birth control healthcare is a little bit different.
00:48:26.980
First we flog you and then we cut your head off.
00:48:30.980
So that sounds, you know, like, uh, something that, you know, um, is interesting, uh, for
00:48:36.980
It's really, so you're going to come back out of the well and you're going to introduce
00:48:44.320
I didn't, I mean, I didn't know that you were up to speed on what, what's, well, here's
00:48:48.780
the thing, uh, back in 07, uh, some clumsy moron dropped an iPhone down here.
00:48:55.220
And, uh, so I've been able to follow along with some of the stuff that's been going on.
00:48:59.860
Following the 12th, the mom, you can speak to me from the well.
00:49:08.220
And then now you're watching us on a, on a cell phone.
00:49:11.620
And I've been very interested in your, uh, in your election campaign.
00:49:14.740
He's a, I'm a big supporter of a lot of those candidates who are running for president
00:49:20.740
Like, uh, like, uh, who you, who you a big fan of?
00:49:43.220
And that's coming right from, so is this, this kind of like spiritual advice from the
00:49:49.620
Have you talked to, have you talked to Beto or anybody here in Texas about giving up their
00:49:56.180
So, uh, you know, but I've been trying to get ahold of you for a long time.
00:50:03.720
Uh, but you got this whole thing on Iran wrong.
00:50:08.680
So the, the mullahs are not just the, the, that you don't have to worry about them trying
00:50:20.380
The mullahs, mullahs one through six, uh, the imams one through six, uh, they, uh, they
00:50:30.220
were, uh, they were working on some things that didn't really work out.
00:50:35.740
I don't think that's what happened to them, but yeah, a lot of people don't know that
00:50:42.620
Anyway, look, I've gotten a little bit bored lately.
00:50:45.640
So the other day I channeled into the Iranians and I said, Hey, it's 12 here.
00:50:53.820
Wait, did you call them on the phone or through this panelist channeling?
00:50:57.360
Well, I wasn't getting, I only had one bar at the time, so I had to channel.
00:51:01.600
But just that at the worst possible moment, my channel cut off.
00:51:05.900
And instead of Israelis, I guess they thought I said Saudi Saudis.
00:51:15.520
That was a little cultural blast from the past there.
00:51:20.500
I'm saying just a friendly reminder for you though.
00:51:25.860
And, uh, when I do, of course, I'll be killing 70 to 80% of the world population.