The Glenn Beck Program - Ep 57 ｜ After 2 Accidents and 29 Years of Nightmares and PTSD, I’m STILL Standing! ｜ David Mellor ｜ The Glenn Beck Podcast

00:00:00.000 Today's podcast is very special and personal to me.

00:00:05.660 You are going to meet a man who I have admired for a very long time.

00:00:11.300 In fact, when I first heard his story, maybe close to 10 years ago,

00:00:16.180 I bought the rights to his story, and I wanted to publish his story and tell it.

00:00:21.960 And no publisher was interested.

00:00:24.540 And it went on and on and on.

00:00:27.580 And finally, a couple of years ago, I said,

00:00:31.940 David, I'm doing you a great disservice by holding your story.

00:00:35.000 Please, I give it back to you.

00:00:37.680 Tell your story.

00:00:38.820 He did.

00:00:39.760 And it is now from Post Hill Press.

00:00:43.620 It is one of the best stories I have heard.

00:00:47.500 It is the story of a guy who grew up just wanting to be a ballplayer.

00:00:52.000 He wanted to play so badly for the Red Sox.

00:00:54.460 He had an amazing string of events that you have a better chance of winning the lottery than this happening to you.

00:01:03.380 Amazing string of events of bad years, decades of just horrible stuff happening to him.

00:01:11.900 And he fights through it the entire time.

00:01:14.660 And he fights alone, self-imposed.

00:01:17.060 He didn't know what was happening to him.

00:01:19.900 Yet, all the while, he is doing a job he loves.

00:01:24.400 He doesn't become a ballplayer.

00:01:26.140 He ends up now as the groundskeeper for the Boston Red Sox.

00:01:31.820 And you know his work.

00:01:33.520 If you've ever seen a ball field where they've cut in the name of the team or they've made a picture on the field,

00:01:40.680 it's this guy that first did it.

00:01:43.220 Amazing strength.

00:01:44.860 Tremendous humility.

00:01:46.060 You are going to love the next hour with David Mellor.

00:02:03.140 This has been a long time coming.

00:02:06.660 I've loved your story since 2010, I think, is when we first stumbled across each other.

00:02:16.500 You are truly a remarkable, positive man.

00:02:24.040 And quite honestly, you don't have that much reason to, if you chose, to look at your life a different way.

00:02:30.660 And yet, here you sit, a guy who wanted to be a pitcher for the Red Sox.

00:02:39.640 That's all you dreamt of as a kid, right?

00:02:41.780 Yes, sir.

00:02:42.720 And here you sit.

00:02:44.220 You didn't get a pitch.

00:02:45.780 But as you sat down, I looked at your hands and went, oh my gosh.

00:02:50.480 And you are wearing the Boston Red Sox World Series ring.

00:02:56.760 Yes, sir.

00:02:57.280 I'm very, very blessed.

00:02:58.380 So, for people who don't know who you are, let's have them discover how you got that ring slowly.

00:03:09.360 Let's start at the beginning.

00:03:11.440 You're a kid.

00:03:12.920 You live in the Boston area.

00:03:15.200 Boston is your, I mean, the Red Sox are everything.

00:03:18.800 And you grow up wanting to be a pitcher.

00:03:22.960 I did.

00:03:23.920 Yes, sir.

00:03:24.560 My grandfather played in 1902 in the majors, and my dream was to follow in his footsteps.

00:03:31.800 My dad died when I was three, and my mom and two brothers helped raise me and raised me to be a Red Sox fanatics.

00:03:39.220 And I just lived and breathed baseball, but especially Red Sox baseball.

00:03:45.700 So, you know, I wear, I don't, I don't follow sports at all, but my wife's family are Yankee fanatics.

00:03:54.080 And so I wear a Red Sox hat just to drive everybody crazy.

00:03:59.440 Oh, that's funny.

00:04:00.300 That's quite the rivalry.

00:04:01.860 So were you good growing up?

00:04:03.800 Were you good at baseball?

00:04:05.360 Yes, sir.

00:04:06.240 You know, I had the dream and the love and heart for it.

00:04:10.240 And then once I got to high school, I had opportunities for scholarships.

00:04:13.460 Yes, sir.

00:04:14.100 So you were on your way.

00:04:15.320 You may not have been a pitcher for the Red Sox, but you were on your way to some sort of career in baseball, you thought.

00:04:22.480 Yes, sir.

00:04:23.460 You're 18.

00:04:24.420 Yes, sir.

00:04:25.200 What happens?

00:04:25.760 Well, a month after I got out of high school, we had qualified for a state tournament.

00:04:31.980 And my coach said, before you sign a scholarship, why don't you wait till we go to the state tournament?

00:04:38.920 And if you do well, you're going to get more offers.

00:04:41.400 I said, that sounds great.

00:04:43.340 And so about 10 days before that tournament, I had gone to see a movie with one of my buddies.

00:04:48.340 And we got out of the movie, and it was a beautiful sunset, and there's a saying, red sky at night, sailor's delight.

00:04:56.700 Really superstitious.

00:04:58.200 And so I thought, that's a great sign of things to come.

00:05:01.720 And so we're driving.

00:05:02.940 He says, how about if we stop and get a bite to eat?

00:05:05.620 And so we saw a McDonald's.

00:05:07.300 And so we pulled into the parking lot and parked on the right side of the entrance across from the door.

00:05:13.640 And we got out and started walking across the parking lot.

00:05:16.440 And I realized I forgot my wallet.

00:05:19.620 And so he says, hey, I'm going to go ahead and go in.

00:05:21.640 And I went back to the car to get my wallet and picked my wallet up and closed the door and started taking a few steps toward the door.

00:05:29.440 And I heard a car come off the street quickly and stop suddenly.

00:05:34.920 I looked up, and the two people in the car, the driver and the passenger, had opened their doors and were changing positions to the other person was going to drive.

00:05:46.080 So I stopped and waited for them to get in.

00:05:49.660 And when they got in and shut the doors, I motioned for them to go ahead and drive through to get to the drive-through.

00:05:57.280 And they motioned for me to start walking and go ahead and go.

00:06:00.980 And so I started walking, and I heard them rev their engine and squeal their tires.

00:06:07.120 And I had enough time to turn, and I lifted my left leg and put both my hands up.

00:06:14.540 And the car was speeding right at me, and I didn't have time to move anywhere else.

00:06:20.720 And the car hit me, threw me 20 feet in the air, and I slammed into the brick wall right where the corner of the door jutted out.

00:06:31.680 And luckily, I landed right in the corner.

00:06:34.000 I slammed into the brick wall, landed in a pile at the base of the corner of the wall.

00:06:39.980 And when I looked up, the car was coming at a higher rate of speed.

00:06:45.260 And the car hit the metal handrail, sparks flew, and the car's metal bumper pinned the handrail in the car's bumper against my knee against the wall.

00:06:55.440 And, you know, the engine is revving, and the car exhaust is, you know, I'm having a hard time breathing.

00:07:06.140 And I can see the lady just staring at me over the steering wheel. 1.00

00:07:11.460 And I'm screaming at her to, please stop, please stop.

00:07:15.400 And the force of the car is still pressing my knee against the wall.

00:07:19.600 And, you know, by that time, I can see people, you know, pressed against the glass, trying to look at me.

00:07:27.880 And as time goes by, pretty soon, there's a gentleman with, it's dusk, and there's a gentleman shortly thereafter with flashbulbs taking pictures, who later turns out.

00:07:39.020 While the engine is still going strong?

00:07:41.800 Shortly thereafter, it turns out he was a newspaper reporter, the local newspaper.

00:07:46.020 However, a police officer comes and tries to reassure me that it's going to be okay.

00:07:53.540 He gets the, he puts it in park, gets the lady out of the car, and his partner is going to back the car up.

00:08:02.940 And as soon as he does, that's when the pain really kicked in, and I almost just passed out from the pain.

00:08:11.200 It was so intense, and it was just, you know, I feared that not only was my leg crushed, that's when I really started wondering if, what am I going to do if I can't play baseball?

00:08:25.040 And, you know, the EMTs arrived, and, you know, I grew up, my mom and two brothers were amazing raising me.

00:08:37.400 But I didn't grow up with a lot of money, and I had a brand new pair of jeans on as a graduation gift.

00:08:43.500 And I remember they wanted to cut my jeans off because my knee had swollen up so much they couldn't see my pants, or see my knee.

00:08:50.520 And it just struck me, a simple thing like that, how that was going to impact my life.

00:08:56.140 And then they had to take me to the emergency room.

00:09:00.680 And even though I was 18, the doctors wouldn't really tell me what was going on until my mother got there.

00:09:09.040 And so there were just so many things spinning in my head.

00:09:12.960 What was wrong with my head?

00:09:14.760 Not my head, but what was wrong with my leg?

00:09:17.060 Stop.

00:09:17.500 What happened with the woman?

00:09:21.160 Did she have a seizure?

00:09:24.460 Was she doing this intentionally?

00:09:26.380 Who was the woman? 0.99

00:09:28.780 She said she stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

00:09:33.160 The young lady who she changed drivers was just learning how to drive. 1.00

00:09:37.060 Didn't feel comfortable, I guess, driving through the drive-thru.

00:09:40.560 And so the other lady, who was approximately 40 years old, said she would drive instead. 0.99

00:09:49.300 And she stepped on the gas instead of the brake and panicked and hit me. 0.99

00:09:55.960 So there was no ill intent?

00:09:58.140 No, sir.

00:09:59.180 It was just a freak accident.

00:10:02.800 Did you ever talk to her?

00:10:04.340 No, sir.

00:10:06.260 You kind of wish you did or not?

00:10:09.020 No, sir.

00:10:11.060 You know, it wasn't intentional.

00:10:13.940 It was a freak thing.

00:10:15.240 There was no forgiveness to give her?

00:10:17.460 No, certainly at the time I was upset.

00:10:19.700 You know, there was a time I went through where I was kind of mad at the world.

00:10:23.580 Yeah, I bet.

00:10:24.660 You know, I didn't understand what was going on.

00:10:28.580 And I thought, you know, if I couldn't play baseball, I didn't know for sure what I was

00:10:34.600 going to do.

00:10:35.460 But my dream was still to play baseball.

00:10:39.560 That was absolutely my dream.

00:10:41.660 So when you were asking the doctors, they're not telling you what's going on.

00:10:44.680 Are you specifically asking, can I play baseball?

00:10:48.100 Can I run again?

00:10:48.920 Will I, what's happening to my leg?

00:10:50.500 That's what you're all focused on.

00:10:52.100 Oh, yes, sir.

00:10:53.440 And they won't tell you anything?

00:10:55.020 They wouldn't tell me until my mother got there.

00:10:57.240 And what'd they say?

00:10:58.620 They said, when my mom got there, they said, you know, your son's knee is definitely damaged,

00:11:04.220 but he's going to need to see a knee specialist.

00:11:07.520 And they gave us a doctor to see in a bigger city in Dayton, Ohio.

00:11:13.320 And did you have surgery?

00:11:14.920 I ended up having to have surgery, yes, sir.

00:11:16.760 How many surgeries?

00:11:19.300 You know, initially I had surgery and went up to the University of Toledo afterwards.

00:11:27.540 They were still interested in me pitching.

00:11:30.940 And unfortunately, my knee got injured up there.

00:11:33.600 Oh, jeez.

00:11:34.200 Six weeks into school, and I had to withdraw and come down for another, come back home for another surgery.

00:11:42.040 All right.

00:11:42.960 So now what happens in between this and the next event?

00:11:48.040 Well, in between, you know, my desire was still to play baseball.

00:11:53.660 Right.

00:11:54.520 And so the doctor did surgery and gave me a, you know, back then they put your leg in a cast versus a knee immobilizer.

00:12:04.980 And so you come out of the cast and you have to get range of motion.

00:12:07.920 And then you graduate to, after exercises, to weight lifting.

00:12:16.160 And so they gave me a prescription to gradually start lifting weights, low weights.

00:12:20.920 And so I took that to the physical therapy department.

00:12:26.980 And they said, you know, you can start with up to five pounds, but you need to go gradual.

00:12:33.440 And so they had me sit on the side of the table.

00:12:37.240 And back then they did not have ankle weights at this facility I was at.

00:12:42.240 They had tube socks filled with sand and they would put an ace bandage around it.

00:12:46.580 So they had me sit on the side of a table and do leg extensions.

00:12:50.920 And my leg was so weak and muscles were so atrophied I could not do a full set.

00:12:56.680 My leg was just shaking.

00:12:58.540 And that was on a Monday.

00:13:00.380 And so they told me to come back on Wednesday.

00:13:03.040 And they increased the weight to 15 pounds and said, you know, do you want to play baseball again?

00:13:09.220 I said, yes, sir.

00:13:11.020 And he said, well, you're going to have to work hard.

00:13:13.840 And I, you know, basically I thought he was the doctor.

00:13:15.740 I'd do anything to play baseball again.

00:13:17.880 So I tried to do some extensions sitting on the side of the table and just couldn't even complete a set.

00:13:25.720 So he said, well, come back Friday and plan on working harder.

00:13:28.940 And I went back on Friday and instead of sitting on the side of the table, you know,

00:13:33.240 he pushed on the side of my knee and it was very sore.

00:13:35.680 And he said, you know, we're going to have you lay on your stomach and do hamstring curls. 1.00

00:13:41.020 So he strapped five five-pound sandbags and a two-and-a-half-pound sandbag to the side of my leg or my ankle.

00:13:49.220 I remember looking over my shoulder and it looked just like a big tumor on the side of my leg.

00:13:55.660 And he ace bandaged her on and, you know, told me to do three sets and, you know, tapped me on the bottom and said, you know,

00:14:05.940 if you want to play baseball again, you have to work hard and walked out of the room and I struggled to lift it.

00:14:11.160 And I had my hands on the side of the table bracing myself.

00:14:14.540 As I lifted it up, all the weight shifted and my hip stayed flat on the table.

00:14:19.640 And my ankle bounced off the floor and I just screamed and screamed.

00:14:25.020 And a nurse and an attendant came rushing in and carefully picked my leg back up on the table. 0.99

00:14:33.600 And ultimately, all the ligaments in my knee were not only what was injured before,

00:14:39.280 but ones that were not injured before were now what they called global instability, were all shredded.

00:14:46.480 So you immediately lawyered up and sued the pants off of that firm.

00:14:52.240 Or what happened next?

00:14:54.200 Well, so I ended up having to have extensive surgery.

00:14:57.520 And, you know, that also increased nightmares.

00:15:03.680 And so you were having nightmares from the first, right?

00:15:09.100 From the first car coming at you.

00:15:10.960 Because I can't imagine.

00:15:12.540 So that started right away.

00:15:14.160 That started the first night.

00:15:16.040 That literally started the first night.

00:15:18.660 And did you have them every night?

00:15:20.440 I had nightmares every night for 29 years.

00:15:24.520 I had one to five nightmares every night.

00:15:27.920 You know, when I first, when I was living at home with my mom, I slept with the TV on.

00:15:32.900 And so when I would yell out screaming at night, and she would rush into the bedroom and say, 0.91

00:15:38.700 Are you okay?

00:15:39.340 Are you okay?

00:15:40.220 I would try to blame it on the TV and say, Mom, it's okay.

00:15:43.380 It was just the TV.

00:15:44.500 Why didn't you want to tell her?

00:15:46.860 I was ashamed.

00:15:48.540 I thought it was a sign of weakness at that time to ask for help.

00:15:53.920 I didn't know.

00:15:54.920 What year was this?

00:15:55.900 1981.

00:15:57.140 I didn't know what was wrong with me.

00:15:59.740 I didn't know.

00:16:00.100 You mean because of the nightmares?

00:16:01.760 Yes, sir.

00:16:02.400 I didn't know.

00:16:02.960 I mean, they were all car crash nightmares.

00:16:04.680 I bet they were.

00:16:05.680 And they were vivid.

00:16:06.700 They were lifelike.

00:16:08.460 You know?

00:16:09.120 And I was having flashbacks during the day.

00:16:11.340 If I smelled car exhaust, if I heard revving engines, if I smelled McDonald's french fries,

00:16:20.380 if guys brought lunch at back to work, and I smelled McDonald's french fries, that could

00:16:27.440 trigger a flashback.

00:16:28.700 Does it still?

00:16:30.060 It does not now.

00:16:30.900 No, sir.

00:16:31.880 And that went on for 29 years.

00:16:33.300 29 years.

00:16:34.360 So now your nightmares are getting worse.

00:16:36.760 Are they the same nightmare?

00:16:39.580 After you have this incident where your ligaments snap, the nightmares get worse.

00:16:47.600 Yes, sir.

00:16:48.360 That adds into the nightmare sometimes, where my leg bounces off the floor and I scream.

00:16:55.260 What happens next?

00:16:57.200 So we have, you know, I had seven surgeries.

00:17:00.600 I walked on crutches for two and a half years and walked with a cane for 10 months.

00:17:04.300 Over those first, basically, three and a half years.

00:17:07.720 And you knew your baseball days were over?

00:17:10.360 So after that injury in the physical therapy department, I came out of surgery.

00:17:16.260 And I was in the most pain I had been in after any surgery.

00:17:20.480 And the doctor came to see me after, in recovery.

00:17:25.700 And I said, Doc, how soon can I play baseball again?

00:17:29.720 And he said, David, you won't play baseball again.

00:17:33.460 And he says, you'll be lucky if you walk normal again.

00:17:37.260 And he did quotation fingers when he said the word normal.

00:17:42.520 And tears just started pouring down my face.

00:17:47.560 I was furious at the physical therapist.

00:17:51.720 I was upset that not only was I not going to play baseball again, but I turned it into a competition.

00:18:01.720 You know, that was where one base at a time started to kick in even more.

00:18:06.400 That that was a goal that I turned in even the smallest to walk from here, you know, three feet away out of the hospital bed.

00:18:15.100 Or to be able to walk to the bathroom.

00:18:16.820 Or to be able to do one more leg raise.

00:18:20.200 It just became a competition that I was going to walk normal again.

00:18:25.080 When you just told me about what the doctor said to you, maybe I'm wrong, but it looked like your eyes welled up still.

00:18:33.580 It's still painful, isn't it?

00:18:34.940 Yes, sir.

00:18:36.040 Yes, sir.

00:18:37.160 But I'm proud of what I've achieved since.

00:18:40.820 But absolutely, it still hurts.

00:18:42.500 So, he tells you you are not going to play baseball.

00:18:47.800 You don't want to accept it and you start working.

00:18:52.520 At least, did you accept the baseball part of it?

00:18:55.500 And you were just working to walk normal again?

00:18:58.240 I accepted the baseball part.

00:19:00.000 I was bitter.

00:19:01.460 I was really bitter.

00:19:03.160 And still having nightmares.

00:19:04.660 Oh, absolutely.

00:19:05.520 I have nightmares and flashbacks.

00:19:08.240 Nightmares and flashbacks.

00:19:09.460 Nightmares every night.

00:19:11.520 Then what happened?

00:19:12.500 So, I was in physical therapy and, you know, my mother was the assistant pastor at our church.

00:19:19.540 And, you know, she was working.

00:19:22.320 And fortunately, some retired gentlemen and ladies from our church would drive me to physical therapy.

00:19:32.460 And, you know, I'm embarrassed to say I wasn't always the nicest patient at physical therapy.

00:19:38.940 And I would do my work.

00:19:40.900 But I didn't interact with the physical therapist.

00:19:43.200 I didn't interact with the people around me.

00:19:46.640 Were you mad at God, too?

00:19:47.880 Or did you hold on to that?

00:19:49.320 You know, I think at times I was.

00:19:50.740 Yes, sir.

00:19:51.740 I was.

00:19:52.320 I'm embarrassed to say I was.

00:19:54.500 And, you know, I just, I was mad at myself.

00:19:57.960 You know, there were times I needed, you know, thankfully counseling taught me to love myself again.

00:20:04.220 But.

00:20:04.780 Why were you mad?

00:20:06.200 I mean, I can understand.

00:20:08.020 I can understand your anger at the woman who first hit you.

00:20:12.380 I can understand the anger at the doctor or the physical therapist and the situation.

00:20:19.240 But why were you mad at you?

00:20:21.360 Because of my mood swings.

00:20:23.460 I wasn't, I wasn't treating my mom as nice as I should.

00:20:27.340 I would be, I would be short with people.

00:20:29.960 And then I'd be upset that I should have, I shouldn't have said that.

00:20:34.120 Or I shouldn't have been short, or I should have been polite, you know, in my mood.

00:20:38.340 Did you express that regret at all?

00:20:40.400 Oh, yes, sir.

00:20:41.700 Yes, sir.

00:20:42.180 But then I never felt like I expressed it enough.

00:20:46.840 Right.

00:20:47.980 And then, you know, my, my, my mom and two brothers stressed to me, you know, to find a

00:20:55.680 career that I'd love to do because so many people don't love their jobs.

00:21:00.140 And they said, you know, David, you're really lucky.

00:21:02.500 You know, before, before when I thought I'd go to college, that I'd play baseball, hopefully

00:21:07.920 get drafted, that I'd study some kind of business.

00:21:10.540 And I didn't even know what business meant.

00:21:12.500 You know, I just thought I'd study business.

00:21:15.060 And they said, you know, you're lucky, David, you have time now to find a career that you

00:21:19.480 truly love.

00:21:21.000 Find a passion of what you want to do.

00:21:23.520 And I had seen the good side of physical therapy.

00:21:27.860 And obviously, I had seen the other side where when it's not done with compassion and properly,

00:21:32.940 people get hurt.

00:21:34.420 So initially, I thought, well, maybe I'll be a physical therapist.

00:21:38.420 And when I got the okay after those seven surgeries to go away to college, I thought I would go to

00:21:46.560 Ohio State and go into physical therapy department.

00:21:48.600 And that program was full.

00:21:51.300 And I had already missed basically two years of school.

00:21:54.620 So I realized I didn't want to wait another year to continue my education.

00:21:59.260 So I thought, what do I really, really love?

00:22:02.640 And I thought I'd find a new career.

00:22:05.600 And I realized I wanted to be outside.

00:22:09.340 I grew up taking care of people's lawns.

00:22:13.100 Science was a subject I enjoyed in school.

00:22:15.440 And I loved baseball.

00:22:17.980 I thought someone has to be a major league groundskeeper.

00:22:21.400 And my brother lived in Milwaukee at the time and told me if I could get a job with the

00:22:25.780 Milwaukee Brewers, I could live with him to save money.

00:22:30.200 So I reached out to the Brewers with many, many, many letters and lots of phone calls and

00:22:35.900 kind of became that squeaky wheel.

00:22:37.380 And they finally gave me an opportunity 35 years ago and said, we'll give you an opportunity

00:22:43.740 to be just on our day of game staff.

00:22:48.120 I said, gosh, that'd be incredible.

00:22:51.980 And so that's how.

00:22:53.260 So did you go to OSU?

00:22:56.120 Yes, sir.

00:22:56.640 I went to Ohio State.

00:22:57.600 What did you take?

00:22:58.620 So I had two majors.

00:23:00.280 One's landscape horticulture.

00:23:01.880 And one is agronomy, which is soil science and turf grass management.

00:23:05.160 OK, which comes in very handy later in your life.

00:23:11.120 Yes, sir.

00:23:11.740 So you are.

00:23:13.660 I mean, if people don't know you, they do know your work.

00:23:18.060 Your act, your work is actually very.

00:23:20.200 I'm not a baseball fan.

00:23:22.120 I know your work.

00:23:23.560 I've seen your work and I've seen it and gone.

00:23:26.580 That is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

00:23:28.940 Thank you.

00:23:30.500 So you're very close to your brother.

00:23:32.740 Yes, sir.

00:23:33.680 And you're living with him.

00:23:35.720 And tell me about your relationship with him.

00:23:38.780 You know, both my brothers were amazing.

00:23:41.620 Amazing.

00:23:42.140 They helped raise me.

00:23:43.800 And my brother, Terry, seven years older than me.

00:23:47.700 And, you know, he's not only my brother.

00:23:50.460 He's my mentor.

00:23:51.800 My best friend.

00:23:53.120 He's my father figure in many ways.

00:23:55.740 You know, he taught me about life.

00:23:58.060 He taught me how to mow grass, how to play baseball.

00:24:00.020 He taught me how to be an adult, how to treat people with proper manners, how to treat women.

00:24:06.300 He taught me so much about life.

00:24:09.460 And so when he gave me the opportunity to go live with him, it was an incredible experience.

00:24:19.180 You know, best friends and mentorship.

00:24:21.800 And it was just incredible, incredible.

00:24:24.220 So you're working there now with the brewers.

00:24:27.700 You're only doing one day a week.

00:24:29.540 Whenever there's a game.

00:24:30.720 Whenever there's a game.

00:24:31.680 Yes, sir.

00:24:32.140 One game.

00:24:33.260 And how do you grow that?

00:24:37.840 So two weeks after I start there, one of the guys on the crew who's working, you know, 60, 80 hours a week finds another job.

00:24:48.920 And the supervisor with the brewers say, hey, how would you like to work his shift, his hours?

00:24:54.940 It's like, oh my gosh, that's incredible.

00:24:56.680 And so, you know, I went from, you know, hardly any hours to, you know, working from showing up at six, seven in the morning till midnight.

00:25:08.140 And who was your mentor there at the brewers?

00:25:14.000 So there were two gentlemen.

00:25:15.060 One was named Harry Gill and one was named Gary Vandenberg.

00:25:19.540 And Gary and I became dear, dear friends.

00:25:22.180 And so you're working for the brewers.

00:25:24.780 Yes, sir.

00:25:25.520 Things are going well.

00:25:26.360 Yes, sir.

00:25:29.500 And then?

00:25:31.260 Well, so after I graduated from Ohio State, the brewers created a position for me and I started full time.

00:25:38.780 And we were really, my wife and I enjoyed Milwaukee.

00:25:43.420 We had two daughters and life was going really well.

00:25:47.360 And in October of 1995, we had an opportunity to re-sod the field.

00:25:54.100 And so we'd taken all the sod off the field.

00:25:57.380 And behind the bleachers in the outfield, there were some offices.

00:26:03.580 And so the next day we were going to have semis and forklifts.

00:26:07.600 And so I spoke to the people in the office and I said, you know, please don't have your cars behind here because in the off season, they would park right outside their office door.

00:26:16.080 I said, we'll have semis and forklifts here today, tomorrow.

00:26:19.200 So please don't have your cars there so they're not in the way.

00:26:21.660 And they said, no problem.

00:26:22.960 So the following morning, we're waiting for the sod to get delivered.

00:26:26.640 And I was out in left field raking around an irrigation head.

00:26:31.300 And we had big double field gates behind the left fielder on the warning track.

00:26:36.460 And I heard a car and I was certainly very hyper aware of car noises.

00:26:42.440 And I thought that's odd that there's a car, especially inside the park.

00:26:47.080 And so I turned and there was a car coming from behind the bleachers toward the field.

00:26:53.820 And so I ran over to where the warning track and the open gate were.

00:26:59.380 And I put my hands up and yelled for this lady to stop. 1.00

00:27:04.860 Hang on.

00:27:06.000 You've got a car in your proximity.

00:27:09.680 You have flashbacks.

00:27:11.680 You're having all kinds of problems.

00:27:13.880 And yet you're trying to stop this woman, which had to feel familiar again. 0.63

00:27:20.260 Sure.

00:27:20.740 How much, what was happening, what part of you took over here of protecting the field or protecting yourself?

00:27:28.500 How did you manage those few seconds?

00:27:32.060 You know, there were a couple of my coworkers on the field.

00:27:35.080 I didn't want them to get hurt.

00:27:36.840 The field had just been graded.

00:27:38.860 I didn't want the field to get damaged.

00:27:40.480 I just thought it was my responsibility to stop the car.

00:27:46.900 And I thought she would stop.

00:27:50.440 I didn't know why she was there.

00:27:53.400 So I just thought when I put my hands up and yelled, I just thought she would stop.

00:27:59.080 And it became evident when I put my hands up and, you know, I yelled stop.

00:28:04.920 And then she kept coming. 0.72

00:28:07.240 I screamed stop.

00:28:08.840 She stepped on the gas.

00:28:11.480 That's your worst nightmare.

00:28:13.020 Yes, sir.

00:28:13.900 And I had enough time to, once again, I tried to turn sideways, lift my left leg.

00:28:20.940 And she hit me.

00:28:23.100 And I hit the windshield.

00:28:25.140 And I landed basically in a pile right at the base of the outfield wall, right where the gate was.

00:28:33.760 So you're back against the wall again.

00:28:36.880 Yes, sir.

00:28:37.640 In a heap.

00:28:38.800 Yes, sir.

00:28:39.420 Hit by a woman who wouldn't stop the car. 0.99

00:28:42.620 Yes, sir.

00:28:43.400 Then what happened?

00:28:44.680 She went speeding.

00:28:45.800 She turned to the right a little bit and went speeding down the warning track and followed the curve of the warning track and got behind home plate. 1.00

00:28:53.320 And she was going so fast that it drifted her rooster tailed track material about 10 rows up into the stands. 1.00

00:29:03.420 Oh, my God.

00:29:04.040 She started doing a full lap around the track. 1.00

00:29:06.740 And a couple of my coworkers came running over and said, David, are you okay?

00:29:12.020 What can we do?

00:29:13.000 How can we help?

00:29:14.580 And I said, please call 911.

00:29:16.640 And behind the bleachers, we had two big steel delivery security gates.

00:29:23.140 Right.

00:29:23.760 And I said, please close those up so she can't get away. 0.73

00:29:27.960 And as I was laying on the track, she made a full lap. 1.00

00:29:31.660 And she was hugging the edge of the grass.

00:29:35.340 And as she got closer to me, instead of hugging the edge of the grass, she starts veering away and aiming right at me. 0.95

00:29:44.860 Oh, my God.

00:29:46.280 And I thought, oh, my gosh.

00:29:49.780 This is it.

00:29:51.860 This is it.

00:29:52.880 She's literally just going to run me completely over. 1.00

00:29:57.320 I mean, I was on the ground.

00:29:58.680 I couldn't move.

00:29:59.460 And at the last minute, she turns the car and swerves to miss me and slams on the brakes. 1.00

00:30:07.200 And she sits up and starts excessively waving at me. 1.00

00:30:12.060 Like she's sitting up, like her head's touching the roof of the car.

00:30:15.820 And she's just excessively waving and waving and waving at me. 0.99

00:30:20.000 And my heart's in my throat.

00:30:21.960 My ears are ringing.

00:30:24.520 You know, my pulse is racing.

00:30:26.560 And then she sits down and peels out and goes through the gate and covers me in track material.

00:30:33.480 And I'm just trying to gather my thoughts, thinking, what just happened?

00:30:38.400 You know, I'm thankful she didn't hit me.

00:30:42.060 And shortly thereafter, I can hear her screaming cuss words. 1.00

00:30:47.700 And not just one cuss word.

00:30:49.360 I mean, every cuss word I've ever heard at the top of her lungs. 1.00

00:30:53.920 She's just screaming cuss words. 1.00

00:30:57.080 And so I roll over and pull myself up against the wall pad and limp out behind the bleachers.

00:31:04.780 And she's out of her car.

00:31:06.840 And she's dressed in a business suit and a trench coat.

00:31:11.160 And, you know, there was a wooden security gate that is splintered all over the orange and white wooden splintered security gate that's all over the ground.

00:31:23.320 And she's out of her car screaming cuss words at the security guard to let her out. 0.99

00:31:30.540 And every once in a while, her eyes would roll up in the air and in her head.

00:31:35.040 And she'd just mumble.

00:31:36.660 And then she'd just start screaming. 0.96

00:31:38.860 She was nuts.

00:31:39.420 She was having a mental episode.

00:31:42.520 And I noticed her car was still running.

00:31:46.040 And so I thought I better take her keys out or she's going to hurt someone else. 1.00

00:31:50.120 And so I went over and reached in and turned her car off.

00:31:55.880 And she starts charging right at me. 1.00

00:31:58.400 And she gets right in my face. 1.00

00:31:59.820 And she was spitting at me and just screaming every cuss word you could ever hear. 1.00

00:32:06.220 And saying, give me my keys.

00:32:08.020 Give me my keys.

00:32:09.560 And I said, I'm sorry, ma'am.

00:32:10.660 I can't do that.

00:32:11.560 And she kind of pushed me and got in the car and slammed the doors. 1.00

00:32:17.100 And shortly thereafter, the deputies arrived.

00:32:20.220 And I knew the deputies from doing security at the ballpark.

00:32:23.360 And they asked what happened.

00:32:24.720 And I told them.

00:32:25.860 And they told her to get out of the car. 0.62

00:32:27.520 And she wouldn't.

00:32:28.820 So I gave them the keys.

00:32:31.080 And they unlocked the door.

00:32:32.460 And she grabbed an ink pen out of the car console and tried to stab them. 1.00

00:32:39.580 And so they got her out of the car and cuffed her.

00:32:43.080 And it was a beautiful kind of Indian summer day.

00:32:46.580 You know, just a beautiful fall day.

00:32:48.940 And they had a couple squad cars there.

00:32:51.060 And they put her in the back of her squad car in the back seat. 1.00

00:32:54.780 And they opened the back window about that much.

00:32:56.780 And they said, David, before you go to the hospital, do you mind filling out this police report while it's still fresh in your mind?

00:33:04.620 And there was another squad car nearby.

00:33:06.900 And so I started filling it out on the back of the trunk.

00:33:10.200 And she screams at the deputies some cuss words. 1.00

00:33:14.600 And they went over to ask her why she was there.

00:33:17.620 And she said she was there to do a stunt for a movie.

00:33:21.180 And if it didn't work, she was supposed to kill herself.

00:33:24.600 So this is on a Thursday.

00:33:26.780 So because she said that, they took her to the county mental hospital.

00:33:31.640 And so I go to the hospital and saw my knee surgeon.

00:33:35.200 And on Sunday night, I got a phone call from an attorney.

00:33:42.060 And they said, we would like you to come testify tomorrow against her.

00:33:46.500 Otherwise, she's going to be let go.

00:33:49.000 And I said, well, if she's this unstable, I don't want to be the only person testifying.

00:33:54.480 And they said, no, there'll be other people there.

00:33:56.780 If you could please come to the hospital, we would appreciate it.

00:34:00.060 So I went to the hospital.

00:34:01.220 And there was a regular courtroom, just like you see on TV, in the hospital.

00:34:06.260 And her attorney's there.

00:34:08.740 She's in her room in a straitjacket and waived her rights to appear in person.

00:34:12.700 So I testified, the police officer testified, and a doctor testified that she had a past history of mental illness.

00:34:22.500 In 1991, she was arrested in Florida for stalking Julio Iglesias.

00:34:27.400 1993, she was arrested on international charges, threatening the Queen of England, demanding to be adopted, or she was going to hurt the Queen.

00:34:37.260 The night before she did this at County Stadium, she tried to assault Oprah, but she got away. 1.00

00:34:44.120 But Oprah's security team got a picture of her and her license plate. 0.50

00:34:47.660 Well, you're in good comfort, Oprah and the Queen.

00:34:52.320 How about that?

00:34:53.800 And so the judge said, well, we can only keep her for 72 more hours until we have another hearing. 0.98

00:34:59.860 And so I went back on Wednesday at their request.

00:35:03.900 And she's there this time, and she's on her fifth attorney since Monday.

00:35:08.380 And she's at her table with her attorney, and she just stares at me the whole time, just giving me the dirty look. 1.00

00:35:17.840 And so I testify, the doctor testifies, the police officer testifies, and the judge says,

00:35:23.780 well, we can keep her for six months or until we find a medicine that works. 0.99

00:35:28.140 And he puts the gavel down, and she jumps up and starts cussing out the judge. 1.00

00:35:34.160 You know, don't tell me what to do.

00:35:36.380 I know what medicine to take.

00:35:38.540 And her attorney says, you know, settle down. 1.00

00:35:40.640 This isn't the way to act.

00:35:42.440 And she says, you shut the bleep up.

00:35:44.600 You work for me.

00:35:45.920 And then she turned and started shaking her hand violently at me and lunging at me. 1.00

00:35:51.020 And she says, I want to know that I come within one foot, two foot, or three foot of hitting you

00:35:56.820 because I always miss it one foot.

00:35:59.600 And the judge said, you know, clear the courtroom and subdue her. 1.00

00:36:03.720 And they were subduing her when I left.

00:36:06.300 And because of her rights as a mental patient in the state of Wisconsin at that time,

00:36:10.760 all they could do is sign her up for a retest. 0.98

00:36:13.800 And she got to pick the date and the time of the test.

00:36:16.900 And the doctor said if she took her medicine in the morning,

00:36:20.020 she would be able to pass the test in the afternoon.

00:36:22.000 So, where is she now? 0.74

00:36:26.380 She lives still in Milwaukee.

00:36:31.900 So, now you have nightmares of two car crashes.

00:36:35.080 Sir.

00:36:36.200 Flashbacks.

00:36:36.940 Yes, sir.

00:36:37.620 Now it's happened at the ballpark.

00:36:39.040 So, now the ballpark is fused with that.

00:36:41.180 Yes, sir.

00:36:42.860 And a crazy woman who is out and you're always looking over your shoulder. 1.00

00:36:48.160 Absolutely.

00:36:48.760 What are you doing mentally?

00:36:50.740 Exhausted.

00:36:52.000 You know, I wasn't sleeping from physical pain.

00:36:55.560 Emotional pain was just dominating my life.

00:36:58.160 And I was looking over my shoulder for my family.

00:37:01.900 It was exhausting.

00:37:03.660 You were married?

00:37:04.520 Yes, sir.

00:37:05.860 Do you share this with your wife?

00:37:07.720 No, sir.

00:37:08.520 My wife's my best friend.

00:37:10.460 Absolutely my best friend.

00:37:11.860 And, you know, before we were married, before I asked her to marry me,

00:37:17.220 before we were married, before each one of our daughters were born,

00:37:21.360 I would rehearse in the car out loud, trying to find the right words to describe all the turmoil in my life,

00:37:33.700 and the demons of my nightmares, and the pain, physical and emotional.

00:37:39.380 How did she not know about the nightmares?

00:37:41.580 You covered it with your mom.

00:37:42.700 She did.

00:37:43.120 She did.

00:37:43.180 What did you say to her?

00:37:44.860 I'd blame it on the TV.

00:37:47.740 There were nights, Mr. Beck, when I would sweat so profusely,

00:37:52.520 I would have to get up and change the sheets in the middle of the night.

00:37:57.060 She knew something was up.

00:37:58.620 She dealt with my mood swings.

00:38:00.640 She dealt with me, my withdrawal from the family where I just didn't want to be together.

00:38:06.900 She dealt with times of, after dinner, I would go to the basement and drink beers.

00:38:12.400 In fact, in 2006, she had come to the basement and said,

00:38:18.500 you know, honey, the girls and I wish you would stop drinking.

00:38:22.440 You come down here and you're taking valuable time away from us,

00:38:25.900 and you're not the same when you drink.

00:38:28.100 And that was like a lightning bolt to my heart.

00:38:32.060 And I thought, in my own mind, I thought by drinking, I didn't drink every night,

00:38:39.680 and I never drank and drove, and I didn't mix it with medicine,

00:38:42.940 but I thought if, in my own mind at that time, if I slept better, it was a vicious cycle.

00:38:51.220 If I slept better, hopefully I'd be a better dad and husband the next day

00:38:54.240 because I wouldn't be as moody.

00:38:55.920 But now I know that's that form of self-medication.

00:38:59.120 But luckily that night, I stopped drinking and haven't had a drink since.

00:39:03.320 But she knew about the nightmares.

00:39:05.760 But I was scared if I didn't describe things correctly that she'd leave me.

00:39:11.980 I didn't give her credit for the incredible lady she is.

00:39:14.640 Why would she leave you? 0.95

00:39:16.120 I mean, I've been here, so I understand.

00:39:20.700 It is a mental illness.

00:39:23.060 It is.

00:39:23.300 I mean, when you started in on the drinking and she came down,

00:39:29.060 I know I used to truly believe when I would drink, I would be a better father.

00:39:34.340 I used to believe that.

00:39:36.140 It's a total lie, but you get so spun upside down.

00:39:40.860 You do.

00:39:41.240 What was your logic of why she was going to leave you?

00:39:47.500 Because I thought I had been able to put up a front that I was a better person than I was.

00:39:57.260 I thought I was able to be better, that she didn't know how much pain I was in emotionally,

00:40:09.920 how much pain I was in physically.

00:40:13.440 I thought it was a sign of weakness to ask for help.

00:40:15.860 How did you not get addicted to drugs?

00:40:18.040 I'm so careful, and I would try.

00:40:23.580 I mean, I was so careful in what medicine I would take.

00:40:27.600 I just never took any more than what the doctor told me.

00:40:32.080 I was paranoid of it, and I never drank and did medicine at the same time.

00:40:37.180 In fact, I wouldn't even drink the day after I took medicine

00:40:39.920 because I was so scared that if I had some bad reaction, it might kill me,

00:40:45.620 and I grew up without a dad, and I didn't want to do that to my daughters.

00:40:50.720 Wow.

00:40:51.480 Okay.

00:40:52.040 So what happens next?

00:40:53.520 What happens next?

00:40:56.240 Is when the accident at the stadium just really turned my pain upside down.

00:41:09.580 It increased my nightmares and my physical pain to another level.

00:41:17.580 I didn't know my pain could be that bad, and I just couldn't bend,

00:41:25.280 and it got to the point where I saw the team doctor,

00:41:29.360 and he said, you need to talk to a doctor about a knee replacement.

00:41:33.300 And I was 36 years old, and so I went to see the knee replacement doctor,

00:41:38.240 and he said, look, now this was 1995.

00:41:42.660 It was really early on.

00:41:44.360 And he said, look, most people that do knee replacements are 65, 75 years old,

00:41:49.240 and with the current technology, we can do two knee replacements

00:41:52.740 before we have to fuse your leg straight. 0.70

00:41:55.640 It says live with it.

00:41:58.200 And I said, problem is, I'm missing my kid's life,

00:42:06.700 and I'd rather, I'm not able to be the dad that I want to be.

00:42:13.260 And I wasn't even telling anybody about the mental anguish

00:42:18.460 and emotional pain I was in, and the physical pain.

00:42:21.840 And, I mean, the kids would say, hey, can we go do something?

00:42:25.760 I didn't want to get off the sofa.

00:42:27.720 I didn't want to get out of bed.

00:42:29.280 Like, I'd come home from work and not want to do anything.

00:42:32.260 And my philosophy was I would have a knee replacement,

00:42:38.440 and if it helped me, you know, over the next 10, 15 years,

00:42:43.780 be more active so that I could be a better husband

00:42:46.040 and a better dad to be active with them,

00:42:48.980 that in 20 years, if I had to have my knee fused,

00:42:52.020 that at least I had time to interact with my kids

00:42:54.520 while they were young.

00:42:56.320 And so I went to see the doc and said,

00:42:58.220 hey, I'd rather be a better dad now.

00:43:02.940 And he said, well, then let's do this.

00:43:05.760 But at that time, I think I had already had 17 knee surgeries,

00:43:09.800 and they were big zippers, basically, on both sides of my knee.

00:43:13.780 And most times when they do a knee replacement,

00:43:16.880 they go right up the middle of your knee.

00:43:19.400 But he said he couldn't do that

00:43:20.880 because of the amount of scars on both sides of my knee.

00:43:24.100 He thought all the skin would die.

00:43:27.020 So he extended the medial side of the scar that I had

00:43:32.560 and did the knee replacement that way.

00:43:37.160 And back then, they would put your knee in a passive machine

00:43:42.760 that would move your knee for you so you didn't get scar tissue. 0.82

00:43:47.140 And unfortunately, probably about day five,

00:43:49.840 my knee swelled up the size literally of a basketball.

00:43:53.420 And it would not move in the machine.

00:43:57.020 So I had to go back and see the doctor.

00:43:58.660 And he said, you know, normally,

00:44:01.020 we don't put a needle in a knee replacement joint

00:44:04.080 because of risk of infection.

00:44:05.740 But I've never seen a knee swell this bad.

00:44:09.980 He says, I'm going to have to try to drain it

00:44:12.740 or, you know, we're going to have bigger problems.

00:44:17.900 And the blood had already coagulated

00:44:21.540 and there was nothing to drain.

00:44:23.880 And he hit the side of the kneecap

00:44:26.500 and it felt like my knee wasn't going to, you know,

00:44:32.740 the pain was excruciating.

00:44:35.180 So he said, well, let's try to get it to move more,

00:44:38.700 range of motion to get the blood to move out of there.

00:44:43.880 And unfortunately, my leg just basically stopped moving.

00:44:47.880 He says, well, we're going to have to do a manipulation

00:44:50.240 where I put you to sleep

00:44:52.060 and physically rip that scar tissue out of there.

00:44:55.840 Oh, my God.

00:44:56.700 And he said, you know,

00:44:57.620 I'll do it under a live X-ray, a fluoroscope

00:45:00.100 to make sure that, you know,

00:45:02.520 I don't break your thigh bone.

00:45:03.720 But, you know, we've done these before

00:45:05.480 and, you know, it should work.

00:45:08.560 And so we did this, did the procedure

00:45:11.500 and, you know, I had went under anesthetic

00:45:13.640 and woke up to absolutely the most pain

00:45:19.320 I'd been in my life.

00:45:20.360 And you, it just keeps getting worse.

00:45:22.280 And I had been in extreme pain.

00:45:26.300 And, I mean, I was absolutely in so much pain.

00:45:32.940 One night, I talked to God and said,

00:45:40.600 you know, I was okay with if I didn't wake up

00:45:48.520 because I thought even though I knew

00:45:52.720 how hard it was growing up without a dad

00:45:57.500 and how hard, more importantly, it was on my mom

00:46:00.300 not having a husband,

00:46:01.940 I was in so much pain.

00:46:06.820 I thought I was causing so much burden

00:46:08.680 to my incredible wife, Denise, and to my girls.

00:46:13.860 I thought if I passed away overnight

00:46:15.800 that they'd be better off.

00:46:18.700 And then when I woke up in the morning,

00:46:22.980 I was thankful that I didn't pass away.

00:46:27.700 I was just filled with so much guilt

00:46:29.840 that I even thought that, having known.

00:46:34.120 Can I tell you something?

00:46:34.940 I have, I've spent time with Billy Graham.

00:46:43.460 I've spent time with the Dalai Lama.

00:46:46.280 I have spent time with people

00:46:48.120 that recognize are just giants.

00:46:50.480 You are one of the best men I have ever met.

00:46:56.480 You are truly remarkable.

00:47:00.660 All of the things that you're talking about,

00:47:04.460 I don't know, you still tear up

00:47:07.880 and you're ashamed,

00:47:11.920 but you're ashamed for the wrong things.

00:47:16.920 You just want to be a better person.

00:47:19.480 And my gosh, spend some time with me.

00:47:23.000 I'll tell you some things you should be ashamed of

00:47:25.060 because I was ashamed of my life.

00:47:29.720 You are such a good man.

00:47:34.300 Such a good man.

00:47:35.520 You are a, you're a hero.

00:47:38.680 You really are.

00:47:40.040 You really are.

00:47:41.420 Humble to say that.

00:47:42.660 My family, they're the heroes

00:47:44.560 because they didn't give up on me.

00:47:46.700 They didn't give up on us.

00:47:47.840 I mean, they're the ones

00:47:49.780 that lived through the tough times.

00:47:51.920 They're the ones that deserve the credit.

00:47:53.960 My wife's, she's the same.

00:47:56.800 My girls, they're amazing. 1.00

00:47:59.460 And when I woke up that morning,

00:48:02.460 you know, I was thankful I was there.

00:48:05.820 You know, I felt blessed that, you know,

00:48:09.260 God gave me another chance

00:48:10.480 and, you know, gave me a chance

00:48:12.520 to be a better dad and better husband.

00:48:15.400 And, you know, it's still a long road.

00:48:18.660 You know, I still, every day,

00:48:20.540 I try to take the philosophy of one base at a time

00:48:22.920 to take on that next challenge.

00:48:24.640 And, you know, fortunately,

00:48:30.960 you know, that it was a learning opportunity.

00:48:36.720 You know, that knee manipulation did not work.

00:48:41.480 My knee stiffened up again,

00:48:43.860 and a week later,

00:48:44.680 I had to have another manipulation.

00:48:47.260 And woke up in even more pain.

00:48:51.600 But the doctor said,

00:48:54.260 you know, I came out and he said,

00:48:56.020 good news is,

00:48:58.140 I didn't break your thigh bone.

00:49:00.980 I thought I almost did.

00:49:03.080 But the better news is,

00:49:04.080 I think it's going to work this time.

00:49:05.880 Because we got more movement.

00:49:07.720 I felt the scar tissue ripping.

00:49:10.100 I felt more movement

00:49:11.220 when I forcibly ripped it.

00:49:14.800 Oh, my gosh.

00:49:15.480 And it did.

00:49:17.160 It worked.

00:49:18.000 I mean, the pain was intense,

00:49:19.300 but it worked.

00:49:39.140 So, you go through this.

00:49:42.460 You're still having nightmares.

00:49:43.980 Yes, sir.

00:49:44.440 You're getting worse.

00:49:45.100 Absolutely.

00:49:45.840 Still haven't talked to your wife.

00:49:47.080 No, sir.

00:49:50.980 You miss how much work?

00:49:54.020 So, during my knee replacement,

00:49:56.860 I miss probably eight weeks of work,

00:50:00.780 seven weeks of work.

00:50:01.620 You go back to work.

00:50:02.760 Yes, sir.

00:50:03.340 What happens?

00:50:04.840 You know, I go back to work,

00:50:05.900 and the brewers are very supportive.

00:50:08.500 And, you know, I find that from the beginning,

00:50:14.880 the busier I kept myself at work,

00:50:18.280 the less my symptoms had time to be active.

00:50:22.200 Even going back to college,

00:50:24.200 even going back to college,

00:50:24.300 the more I studied,

00:50:26.320 the less down time I had.

00:50:29.020 My symptoms weren't as active.

00:50:32.040 And so that was a double-edged sword.

00:50:36.460 It helped my career.

00:50:39.280 Hurt your family.

00:50:40.380 Hurt my family,

00:50:41.240 which is something that I never live down.

00:50:45.880 I always regret.

00:50:47.500 You know, there was a time

00:50:48.260 when our girls were probably five and three 0.81

00:50:53.400 driving by the ballpark.

00:50:55.120 They were in the back seat,

00:50:56.460 and my wife was in the front seat 1.00

00:50:57.920 and drove by the ballpark.

00:50:59.240 And our oldest daughter said to my youngest daughter,

00:51:02.040 hey, look, that's where Dad lives.

00:51:04.940 Because they were asleep when I went to work,

00:51:08.540 and the girls would come down 1.00

00:51:10.520 and have lunch with me at the work.

00:51:12.000 And they'd come down.

00:51:13.200 Denise would bring them to the game. 0.84

00:51:14.420 And the Brewers were nice enough

00:51:16.400 to let them help us pregame.

00:51:18.320 They had their own little wheelbarrow and rake

00:51:19.920 and would help us pregame.

00:51:22.240 And they would watch part of the game

00:51:25.120 and go home and sleep when I got home.

00:51:28.320 And 9, 10, 12-game homestands.

00:51:31.620 And then they'd see me for dinner.

00:51:35.160 And then they'd see me in the offseason.

00:51:39.940 When did you go to Boston?

00:51:43.200 November of 2000.

00:51:44.200 And the Red Sox called.

00:51:49.020 Your brother's still alive?

00:51:50.780 No, sir.

00:51:53.400 So my brother and his wife lived on a lovely lake

00:51:58.960 south of Milwaukee.

00:51:59.980 And he was like a second dad to my girls.

00:52:06.540 And he and his wife were just incredible.

00:52:09.580 And we would go down on the weekends

00:52:10.700 and go fishing together.

00:52:12.900 And we had a lovely weekend in that July weekend.

00:52:16.860 And after that, on that Sunday,

00:52:19.360 we said our normal goodbyes of,

00:52:20.880 I'll see you later.

00:52:22.560 And gave each other a hug.

00:52:24.120 And we got in the car and we drove home.

00:52:26.940 And two days later, on Tuesday evening,

00:52:29.580 my sister-in-law Pat called. 0.99

00:52:31.260 And she was an incredible lady.

00:52:32.500 And she said, Terry's gone.

00:52:35.120 I said, where'd he go?

00:52:37.020 She said he'd passed away.

00:52:38.760 And it felt like my world was crashing down around me.

00:52:44.020 She said she walked in the house.

00:52:46.080 And Terry had a Samoian dog.

00:52:50.060 They had a wonderful relationship, close bond.

00:52:52.760 And the dog was just going crazy in the house

00:53:00.540 and kind of bouncing into the windows.

00:53:02.680 And Pat looked.

00:53:03.960 And Terry was laying out in the yard.

00:53:05.580 And he had had a massive heart attack.

00:53:07.440 And there's just so many things

00:53:10.040 I wish I would have told Terry.

00:53:15.280 Not only that I loved him

00:53:16.780 and thanked him for his mentoring,

00:53:19.600 his sacrifices, and his love,

00:53:22.760 he was just such an important person to me.

00:53:26.780 And I got caught up living my life

00:53:29.420 thinking I had time.

00:53:31.380 I thought he was in good health.

00:53:33.320 He smoked a little, but, you know,

00:53:36.140 I thought I had time.

00:53:37.720 And I just got caught up living my life

00:53:39.880 thinking there's time.

00:53:43.220 I've got to work today.

00:53:46.020 And something we hope that people take from the book

00:53:50.080 and today's interview,

00:53:51.340 is I hope they'll reach out to their loved ones

00:53:54.180 today and often

00:53:55.740 to tell them how important they are.

00:53:58.840 Learn from my mistake.

00:54:01.300 And don't miss their opportunity.

00:54:03.580 And celebrate life every day.

00:54:07.200 You know, you never know

00:54:08.440 when that next challenge

00:54:10.400 is going to happen in your life.

00:54:12.680 And whether you'll miss that opportunity

00:54:15.440 to tell a loved one how important they are.

00:54:17.920 Thank their coworkers.

00:54:19.140 I mean, just two years ago,

00:54:21.720 I was flying on an airplane,

00:54:23.680 coming back from a conference,

00:54:26.100 just sitting there.

00:54:27.780 And a luggage compartment door

00:54:29.320 came disconnected,

00:54:30.860 slammed me in the head and shoulder.

00:54:32.880 I'm still dealing with

00:54:34.060 severe post-concussion syndrome,

00:54:37.300 dislocated my clavicle I'm dealing with.

00:54:40.700 You never know when something's going to happen

00:54:43.120 in your life.

00:54:43.680 So it's so important

00:54:44.860 to make the most of every day.

00:54:48.520 Especially tell your loved ones

00:54:50.040 how important they are.

00:54:52.340 Like,

00:54:52.740 I never dreamed of me

00:54:54.680 that Terry would pass away.

00:54:57.640 Never,

00:54:58.240 never,

00:54:58.740 ever.

00:54:59.320 And I should have known better.

00:55:00.740 Our dad died when I was three.

00:55:02.520 When we were three,

00:55:03.640 he was,

00:55:04.340 Terry was ten.

00:55:05.900 He went from being a ten-year-old kid

00:55:07.660 to being a man out of the house.

00:55:11.480 You know?

00:55:12.000 And the sacrifices he made.

00:55:15.500 And,

00:55:15.820 you know,

00:55:16.000 I've been hit by a car

00:55:17.120 multiple times

00:55:18.440 and had,

00:55:19.560 you know,

00:55:19.860 the horrific injury

00:55:20.780 and physical therapy

00:55:22.060 and other things happen

00:55:23.140 and yet,

00:55:24.080 I just...

00:55:26.040 Assumed it would always be there.

00:55:28.420 I just didn't make that time.

00:55:30.320 So you get a call...

00:55:31.620 You get a call from the Boston Red Sox.

00:55:33.680 Yes, sir.

00:55:35.260 Gotta be one of the better,

00:55:36.420 better days of your life.

00:55:37.760 Oh, yeah.

00:55:38.080 I mean,

00:55:38.100 the days that we've heard so far

00:55:39.480 are pretty bleak.

00:55:40.360 Oh, please.

00:55:41.080 You know,

00:55:41.660 it was a great day

00:55:42.620 and I think I'm one of the luckiest people

00:55:44.120 in the world.

00:55:44.740 Yeah.

00:55:45.140 You know,

00:55:45.800 I mean...

00:55:46.440 I think you are, actually.

00:55:47.660 Thank you.

00:55:48.360 I really do.

00:55:49.620 I think I'm blessed.

00:55:51.000 You know,

00:55:51.480 I never would have met my wife

00:55:52.660 if I didn't get by the car

00:55:53.680 the first time.

00:55:54.680 Never have two incredible daughters.

00:55:56.780 You know,

00:55:56.980 getting hit by a car twice

00:55:59.200 in the way you did,

00:56:00.300 you have a better chance

00:56:01.080 of winning the lottery.

00:56:01.980 I think that, too.

00:56:03.100 I played the lottery

00:56:03.900 in 10 minutes over 100 million.

00:56:05.240 Yeah, that's right.

00:56:05.820 I agree.

00:56:06.340 Yeah.

00:56:08.320 So,

00:56:09.880 the dream of a child

00:56:11.760 was to be on the mound

00:56:14.100 at Fenway Park.

00:56:15.720 Yes, sir.

00:56:16.500 Who calls you?

00:56:17.900 Mr. Joe Mooney.

00:56:19.360 He had been the groundskeeper

00:56:20.460 at Fenway for 30 years.

00:56:22.520 And you knew who he was,

00:56:23.800 obviously.

00:56:24.380 Yes, sir.

00:56:25.300 Absolutely.

00:56:25.700 You admired him.

00:56:26.680 Yes, sir.

00:56:27.220 Yeah.

00:56:27.880 He calls you.

00:56:29.100 He does.

00:56:29.840 And he says what?

00:56:30.880 He said,

00:56:31.260 David,

00:56:31.580 I'm thinking about retiring,

00:56:33.240 but I'll only retire

00:56:34.240 if you replace me.

00:56:35.700 What did that feel like?

00:56:37.220 Oh, my gosh.

00:56:38.100 My heart went in my throat

00:56:39.280 and I just got chills.

00:56:42.500 I couldn't believe it.

00:56:44.520 I...

00:56:45.100 Had you met him before?

00:56:46.820 You know,

00:56:47.280 he was...

00:56:48.100 When I...

00:56:48.840 Yes, sir.

00:56:49.200 I had...

00:56:50.200 I...

00:56:51.240 You know,

00:56:51.500 my last year at Ohio State,

00:56:52.780 I sent a letter

00:56:53.400 to every major league groundskeeper

00:56:55.100 asked,

00:56:56.220 you know,

00:56:56.480 with a resume

00:56:57.240 and asking how to get

00:56:58.360 my foot in the door.

00:56:59.160 And I sent a letter

00:57:01.340 before I even started

00:57:02.920 in the major leagues

00:57:03.800 or before I even went

00:57:05.760 to Ohio State

00:57:06.220 asking how to get

00:57:06.840 my foot in the door.

00:57:08.120 And I heard back

00:57:08.680 from only five groundskeepers

00:57:10.060 and he was one of them.

00:57:12.040 And when he called,

00:57:14.820 it was just amazing.

00:57:17.240 How did he know you?

00:57:17.960 I mean,

00:57:18.360 how did he know

00:57:20.400 that he would only retire

00:57:21.980 if you would take it?

00:57:24.560 I don't know

00:57:26.680 how he selected me

00:57:27.860 and why.

00:57:29.460 He...

00:57:30.620 It was amazing

00:57:31.800 and the timing was ironic

00:57:33.280 in that,

00:57:34.180 you know,

00:57:34.340 I just moved into

00:57:35.220 my new office

00:57:36.000 at Miller Park

00:57:37.120 for the Brewers

00:57:37.920 and the Cincinnati Reds

00:57:39.520 had just offered me

00:57:40.500 a job the week before.

00:57:42.340 And the Reds

00:57:43.240 were very nice.

00:57:44.380 We couldn't come to terms

00:57:45.600 and I...

00:57:47.100 I respectfully

00:57:48.720 turned the job down

00:57:49.820 and the Reds said,

00:57:51.060 you know,

00:57:51.260 how about if we negotiate

00:57:52.100 for one more week

00:57:53.100 but we have to have

00:57:54.300 an answer next Saturday.

00:57:55.880 And Mr. Mooney

00:57:56.560 called that Wednesday.

00:57:59.740 And...

00:58:00.040 And you knew.

00:58:00.600 And, you know,

00:58:02.100 I did not know.

00:58:03.940 You know,

00:58:04.100 I was very humbled.

00:58:05.420 My wife said she knew

00:58:06.660 and I just wanted

00:58:08.520 to make sure

00:58:08.960 it was the right move

00:58:09.620 for my family.

00:58:11.320 And I said,

00:58:12.420 Mr. Mooney,

00:58:12.940 I'm incredibly humbled

00:58:14.100 and truly honored

00:58:15.500 and I'd love to follow

00:58:16.880 in your footsteps

00:58:17.500 but I just have to have

00:58:19.200 a firm offer

00:58:20.600 so I can weigh

00:58:22.080 all the offers

00:58:23.440 and decide what's best

00:58:24.920 for my family.

00:58:26.420 And he said,

00:58:26.880 I'll have Mr.

00:58:27.880 I'll have John Buckley

00:58:28.720 who's the president

00:58:29.280 of our club

00:58:29.760 call you.

00:58:31.000 And the Red Sox

00:58:31.860 flew me out on Friday

00:58:33.100 and said,

00:58:34.260 David,

00:58:34.580 this is not a job interview.

00:58:36.660 The job is yours 0.68

00:58:37.640 if you want it.

00:58:38.720 We know what

00:58:39.440 you can do for us.

00:58:41.700 More importantly,

00:58:42.760 what can we do

00:58:43.840 for Denise

00:58:44.540 and the girls

00:58:45.140 to make this move

00:58:45.980 successful?

00:58:47.340 And that's what

00:58:48.160 Mr. Sealy

00:58:48.860 and the Brewers

00:58:50.420 had done for our family

00:58:51.440 in Milwaukee

00:58:52.000 and that's what

00:58:53.900 Billy Bean

00:58:55.700 at the A's

00:58:56.300 had offered us

00:58:56.980 in Oakland

00:58:57.740 and that's what

00:59:00.240 we were looking for

00:59:01.080 is a family environment.

00:59:03.680 So you go,

00:59:04.260 he mentors you a bit.

00:59:06.120 Yes, sir.

00:59:06.600 He was incredible.

00:59:07.880 If I can be half as nice

00:59:09.160 to the next groundskeeper

00:59:10.400 who takes over Fenway

00:59:11.760 as Mr. Mooney was to me,

00:59:13.800 that would be incredible

00:59:14.780 because he's like

00:59:15.840 a grandpa to my girls.

00:59:17.600 He's just been incredible.

00:59:19.960 What is it like

00:59:20.820 to be that?

00:59:22.720 What is it like to

00:59:23.860 you're not just

00:59:25.740 you're not on the mound.

00:59:27.080 You're not famous,

00:59:28.400 you know,

00:59:28.880 like a pitcher would be.

00:59:32.640 It's your ballpark.

00:59:34.580 There's a lot of teamwork

00:59:35.680 that goes into it.

00:59:36.560 I know that,

00:59:37.060 but you are the man

00:59:38.320 responsible for it.

00:59:39.740 Well,

00:59:40.020 I'm very humbled

00:59:40.840 to have the opportunity

00:59:41.820 to follow in his footsteps

00:59:43.240 and be one of the caretakers

00:59:44.720 like I say,

00:59:45.740 it's a lot of teamwork.

00:59:46.980 I get goosebumps

00:59:47.680 every day I walk out there.

00:59:49.280 That is such a great thing.

00:59:50.760 It is just,

00:59:51.400 it's an incredible,

00:59:52.640 incredible opportunity

00:59:54.880 to be behind the scenes.

00:59:56.340 So how will people know you?

00:59:57.680 How do I know you?

00:59:59.300 Well,

00:59:59.780 you know,

01:00:01.300 probably from some

01:00:02.480 of the mowing patterns

01:00:03.260 that you see on the grass.

01:00:05.740 How

01:00:06.140 did that

01:00:07.920 happen?

01:00:09.500 How did you,

01:00:10.340 how did you,

01:00:10.820 I mean,

01:00:11.040 I don't even know

01:00:11.460 how you do it.

01:00:13.260 Well,

01:00:13.660 certainly

01:00:14.060 any mower

01:00:15.460 will make a pattern

01:00:16.140 in the grass.

01:00:17.120 The first mower

01:00:17.820 was built in 1830

01:00:19.360 and instead of having wheels

01:00:21.380 on the mower

01:00:23.280 and behind the cutting unit

01:00:25.120 it has a big drum

01:00:26.140 and so that drum

01:00:28.060 bends the grass blade.

01:00:30.420 So a light stripe

01:00:31.600 or section

01:00:32.100 goes away from you

01:00:33.380 and a dark stripe

01:00:34.420 comes toward you.

01:00:35.460 So it's kind of like

01:00:36.220 vacuuming carpet.

01:00:37.380 It changes the nap.

01:00:38.180 How did people

01:00:38.500 first start

01:00:39.220 doing these patterns?

01:00:40.780 Well,

01:00:41.280 the basic pattern,

01:00:43.500 checkerboard

01:00:44.060 and straight lines

01:00:44.640 have been around

01:00:45.140 always.

01:00:45.960 Right.

01:00:46.800 The first unique pattern

01:00:48.200 that I did

01:00:49.060 was after a Paul McCartney

01:00:50.400 concert in 1993.

01:00:53.000 We had damage

01:00:54.200 in the outfield

01:00:55.080 that we made safe

01:00:56.860 and playable

01:00:57.420 from in front

01:00:58.520 of the stage

01:00:59.120 where the forklifts

01:00:59.940 had driven

01:01:00.480 but we did not

01:01:01.560 have time

01:01:02.240 or the technology

01:01:03.600 to re-sod it

01:01:05.040 before the team

01:01:05.920 came back

01:01:06.560 and so I asked

01:01:08.180 the vice president

01:01:09.300 and my boss

01:01:10.360 if I could do

01:01:11.340 a unique pattern

01:01:12.220 up on the infield grass

01:01:13.640 to hopefully draw

01:01:14.740 people's attention

01:01:15.660 and focus to the infield

01:01:17.740 instead of the

01:01:18.760 the aesthetic scar

01:01:20.900 you know

01:01:21.460 the dirty looking spot

01:01:22.920 in the outfield

01:01:23.500 and they said sure

01:01:24.920 you know

01:01:25.260 I was staying overnight

01:01:26.080 and kind of working

01:01:26.900 40 hour shift

01:01:27.860 to aerate the field

01:01:29.820 and so I did

01:01:31.780 this unique pattern

01:01:32.580 on the infield

01:01:33.380 and it was amazing

01:01:35.440 the feedback

01:01:36.120 oh I bet it was

01:01:37.720 what was the first pattern

01:01:39.060 it was a

01:01:40.280 we did different

01:01:41.240 quadrants

01:01:41.940 on the infield

01:01:44.320 so we had straight lines

01:01:45.520 and checkerboards

01:01:46.360 in different areas

01:01:48.040 instead of just using

01:01:49.260 the whole infield

01:01:49.880 as one canvas

01:01:51.300 and then what was

01:01:52.520 the first

01:01:53.120 design design

01:01:55.000 when was the first

01:01:56.080 real picture

01:01:58.620 you know

01:01:59.600 we

01:01:59.800 when I went to the

01:02:01.520 Red Sox

01:02:02.620 I put the Red Sox

01:02:03.760 logo

01:02:04.200 the hanging socks

01:02:06.040 on the infield

01:02:06.900 and we put a 100

01:02:08.280 in the outfield

01:02:09.260 it was the 100th

01:02:09.860 anniversary of the team

01:02:10.980 and we made the number

01:02:12.340 one

01:02:12.740 a baseball bat

01:02:14.040 and the two zeros

01:02:15.040 baseballs

01:02:16.900 and it

01:02:17.940 you know

01:02:18.580 it was before

01:02:19.000 social media

01:02:19.800 but

01:02:20.660 I guess the term

01:02:22.100 viral kind of

01:02:22.900 happened

01:02:23.240 because

01:02:23.780 media

01:02:24.620 and players

01:02:25.920 and radio

01:02:27.080 and fans

01:02:27.680 really reached out

01:02:28.700 and started talking

01:02:29.600 about it

01:02:30.040 it's amazing

01:02:31.260 it's amazing

01:02:32.140 thank you

01:02:32.760 all right

01:02:33.420 so

01:02:33.740 let's get to the

01:02:35.300 let's get to the

01:02:36.640 redemptive part

01:02:38.400 of the story

01:02:38.920 you're still in all

01:02:42.120 this pain

01:02:42.720 sir

01:02:43.380 you're

01:02:44.800 you're still

01:02:46.140 just on the edge

01:02:47.240 you still haven't

01:02:47.940 talked to your wife

01:02:48.700 about things

01:02:49.580 what

01:02:52.800 finally breaks

01:02:54.180 well

01:02:55.160 September

01:02:55.680 23rd

01:02:57.060 2010

01:02:57.860 which happens

01:02:58.760 to be my

01:02:59.120 brother's

01:02:59.560 birthday

01:02:59.980 which is

01:03:00.700 you know

01:03:01.280 I don't think

01:03:02.120 is a coincidence

01:03:03.180 it's another

01:03:04.280 lucky day

01:03:05.220 and I have an

01:03:05.980 aha moment

01:03:06.780 where I

01:03:08.460 have acupuncture

01:03:09.580 treatments for

01:03:10.320 pain management

01:03:11.080 before

01:03:13.060 acupuncture

01:03:14.240 there is a

01:03:15.580 table with

01:03:16.120 probably 50

01:03:16.820 magazines there

01:03:17.720 and

01:03:19.020 I

01:03:20.280 look in the

01:03:21.020 pile and

01:03:21.620 I see a

01:03:22.460 Smithsonian

01:03:22.840 magazine

01:03:23.300 so I

01:03:23.820 pick that up

01:03:25.340 and I

01:03:25.660 lay down on

01:03:26.440 the table

01:03:26.880 and the

01:03:29.300 needles in

01:03:29.960 and I

01:03:31.060 open the

01:03:31.600 magazine

01:03:31.960 and

01:03:32.400 there's an

01:03:33.800 article in

01:03:34.300 there about

01:03:34.680 a new

01:03:34.960 treatment

01:03:35.320 facility

01:03:35.900 for veterans

01:03:36.840 dealing with

01:03:37.440 post-traumatic

01:03:38.100 stress

01:03:38.600 never heard

01:03:39.280 of it

01:03:39.540 and

01:03:40.520 my

01:03:40.860 daughter

01:03:41.240 is doing

01:03:42.000 an

01:03:42.440 internship

01:03:42.920 program

01:03:43.600 at the

01:03:44.260 home base

01:03:44.740 program

01:03:45.280 which is a

01:03:46.080 wonderful

01:03:46.520 program

01:03:47.240 for veterans

01:03:48.480 at

01:03:49.060 Mass General

01:03:52.300 Hospital

01:03:52.720 who are

01:03:53.180 dealing with

01:03:53.620 post-traumatic

01:03:54.220 stress

01:03:54.700 and traumatic

01:03:55.620 brain injury

01:03:56.300 so I

01:03:57.360 thought I

01:03:57.660 would read

01:03:58.380 this article

01:03:58.980 to learn

01:03:59.580 about what

01:04:00.060 my daughter

01:04:00.460 is doing

01:04:00.980 and learn

01:04:01.900 about post-traumatic

01:04:02.720 stress

01:04:03.140 because I

01:04:03.940 didn't know

01:04:04.380 anything about

01:04:04.960 post-traumatic

01:04:05.560 stress other

01:04:06.160 than I

01:04:07.620 thought it

01:04:07.960 was a

01:04:08.220 condition that

01:04:08.920 you got

01:04:09.420 from war

01:04:10.060 and the

01:04:11.600 first paragraph

01:04:12.500 listed 12

01:04:13.880 symptoms of

01:04:15.020 post-traumatic

01:04:15.640 stress

01:04:16.120 and as I

01:04:18.300 started reading

01:04:18.880 it

01:04:19.380 chills

01:04:21.080 just I

01:04:21.900 mean waves

01:04:22.740 of chills

01:04:23.420 just start

01:04:24.640 pouring through

01:04:25.560 my fingertips

01:04:26.560 my arms

01:04:27.400 my whole

01:04:28.500 body

01:04:29.100 and tears

01:04:31.140 just start

01:04:31.700 pouring down

01:04:32.640 my face

01:04:33.380 as I can

01:04:34.640 actively

01:04:35.440 feel

01:04:36.540 feel these

01:04:38.480 symptoms

01:04:39.020 as they

01:04:42.100 describe them

01:04:42.940 I either

01:04:43.560 actively have

01:04:44.920 or have

01:04:45.400 dealt with

01:04:46.120 10 of

01:04:47.320 these 12

01:04:47.780 symptoms

01:04:48.380 the only

01:04:49.440 ones I

01:04:49.780 don't have

01:04:50.560 or have

01:04:52.280 dealt with

01:04:52.780 are suicide

01:04:53.460 and drug

01:04:54.000 use

01:04:54.420 and it

01:04:56.460 it scares

01:04:57.360 the heck

01:04:57.740 out of me

01:04:58.220 but it

01:04:59.200 gives me

01:04:59.600 hope

01:05:00.080 yeah

01:05:00.520 it gives

01:05:01.260 me hope

01:05:01.660 that

01:05:01.920 over the

01:05:03.180 last 29

01:05:03.740 years

01:05:04.320 maybe

01:05:05.280 this is

01:05:06.120 what I

01:05:06.420 have

01:05:06.840 you hid

01:05:07.480 this so

01:05:08.080 well that

01:05:08.600 you have

01:05:09.060 a daughter

01:05:09.580 who knows

01:05:10.620 she she's 0.99

01:05:12.200 a growing

01:05:12.700 expert in

01:05:13.520 this field

01:05:14.160 and she

01:05:14.860 doesn't

01:05:15.500 go

01:05:15.960 this is

01:05:17.360 my dad

01:05:18.000 you've

01:05:19.040 hid it

01:05:19.360 that well

01:05:20.100 she and

01:05:21.760 my she

01:05:22.460 and my

01:05:22.740 wife knew 1.00

01:05:23.160 something was

01:05:23.740 up

01:05:24.020 they definitely

01:05:25.320 you know

01:05:25.700 they tell

01:05:26.080 me now

01:05:26.560 that I

01:05:26.900 never would

01:05:27.260 have won

01:05:27.480 an Oscar

01:05:27.960 for my

01:05:28.760 acting

01:05:29.180 they knew

01:05:31.600 something was

01:05:32.280 up

01:05:32.580 and

01:05:34.080 they

01:05:35.700 you know

01:05:38.160 when I read

01:05:38.700 that those

01:05:39.280 words

01:05:39.820 it gave

01:05:41.140 me hope

01:05:41.680 I mean

01:05:42.560 it scared

01:05:43.060 me because

01:05:43.600 up to that

01:05:44.120 point

01:05:44.520 I thought

01:05:46.180 you could

01:05:46.500 only get

01:05:47.420 PTSD

01:05:48.280 from war

01:05:48.960 I had

01:05:50.220 no idea

01:05:50.820 you could

01:05:51.200 get it

01:05:51.560 any other

01:05:52.200 life was

01:05:53.060 a war

01:05:53.460 your life

01:05:55.360 was a war

01:05:56.080 zone

01:05:56.480 you you

01:05:57.860 had two

01:05:58.480 women look 1.00

01:05:59.360 at you

01:05:59.900 from the

01:06:00.580 windshield

01:06:01.020 of a car

01:06:01.900 and come

01:06:02.580 at you

01:06:03.160 that has

01:06:04.460 to screw

01:06:05.020 you up

01:06:05.580 well it

01:06:06.780 certainly

01:06:07.240 impacted my

01:06:08.200 life and

01:06:09.360 sadly

01:06:09.880 you know

01:06:10.620 it impacted

01:06:11.160 my family's

01:06:11.800 life and

01:06:12.200 that's

01:06:12.420 something that

01:06:12.980 I learned

01:06:14.380 through

01:06:14.640 counseling

01:06:15.200 that

01:06:16.260 PTSD

01:06:16.820 doesn't

01:06:17.880 just

01:06:18.160 impact

01:06:18.780 the

01:06:19.200 person

01:06:19.500 who's

01:06:19.700 dealing

01:06:19.960 with

01:06:20.200 it

01:06:20.380 it

01:06:20.800 impacts

01:06:21.300 their

01:06:22.040 loved

01:06:22.320 ones

01:06:22.600 and

01:06:22.760 people

01:06:23.000 around

01:06:23.320 them

01:06:23.620 you know

01:06:24.880 and that's

01:06:25.620 we wrote

01:06:26.300 the book

01:06:26.800 to have

01:06:28.540 people

01:06:28.960 learn from

01:06:30.180 my journey

01:06:30.740 and learn

01:06:31.060 from my

01:06:31.420 mistakes

01:06:31.980 and bring

01:06:33.360 awareness

01:06:33.720 to PTSD

01:06:34.500 bring

01:06:35.680 awareness

01:06:36.060 to how

01:06:36.340 incredible

01:06:36.900 life-changing

01:06:37.560 service dogs

01:06:38.320 are

01:06:38.680 and also

01:06:40.160 bring awareness

01:06:41.580 to let

01:06:42.000 people know

01:06:42.720 that PTSD

01:06:43.760 doesn't

01:06:44.420 just come

01:06:44.900 from war

01:06:45.540 that it's

01:06:46.800 not a sign

01:06:47.560 of weakness

01:06:48.020 to ask

01:06:48.500 for help

01:06:48.900 that I

01:06:49.280 thought it

01:06:49.800 was

01:06:50.220 for

01:06:51.240 those 29

01:06:52.200 years

01:06:52.800 it's

01:06:53.380 nothing

01:06:53.760 to be

01:06:54.120 ashamed

01:06:54.480 of

01:06:54.840 it's

01:06:56.080 interesting

01:06:56.440 because

01:06:56.880 as I

01:06:57.400 think

01:06:57.720 of

01:06:58.000 I think

01:06:59.500 of people

01:06:59.800 in your

01:07:00.200 position

01:07:00.640 that might

01:07:01.280 be watching

01:07:01.700 this

01:07:02.000 and they

01:07:02.340 would

01:07:02.520 think

01:07:02.780 well I

01:07:03.160 haven't

01:07:03.340 been hit

01:07:03.620 by two

01:07:03.940 cars

01:07:04.240 no it

01:07:05.660 doesn't

01:07:06.300 it

01:07:06.540 it can

01:07:07.820 come

01:07:08.360 many

01:07:09.280 many

01:07:10.220 ways

01:07:11.000 and

01:07:11.660 it is

01:07:12.640 that

01:07:12.920 we were

01:07:13.460 talking

01:07:13.740 a minute

01:07:14.060 ago

01:07:14.260 about how

01:07:14.740 your mind

01:07:16.120 just gets

01:07:16.840 all screwed

01:07:17.700 up

01:07:18.220 and you

01:07:19.200 think

01:07:19.520 okay well

01:07:19.880 that's

01:07:20.280 not me

01:07:21.020 and you

01:07:21.800 avoid

01:07:22.940 you don't

01:07:24.800 you don't

01:07:26.900 see the

01:07:27.340 sickness

01:07:28.020 that is so

01:07:29.560 apparent

01:07:30.080 in someone

01:07:30.700 else

01:07:30.980 you don't

01:07:31.960 see it

01:07:32.720 in yourself

01:07:34.100 you think

01:07:34.880 well they're

01:07:35.420 different

01:07:36.120 and I

01:07:37.000 I think

01:07:39.800 that there

01:07:40.300 are

01:07:40.760 I think

01:07:41.640 if we

01:07:41.860 would just

01:07:42.180 talk more

01:07:42.800 a lot

01:07:44.260 of people

01:07:44.560 would be

01:07:44.800 a lot

01:07:45.040 better

01:07:45.380 yes sir

01:07:46.360 I agree

01:07:46.960 just

01:07:47.240 everybody

01:07:49.100 is living

01:07:49.780 in their

01:07:50.080 own little

01:07:50.440 secret world

01:07:51.200 and suffering

01:07:52.340 pain and

01:07:53.140 feelings that

01:07:53.940 everybody is

01:07:55.480 feeling

01:07:55.760 I totally

01:07:57.520 agree I

01:07:57.960 can't thank

01:07:58.740 you enough

01:07:59.160 for your

01:07:59.560 support

01:08:00.080 and the

01:08:00.740 opportunity

01:08:01.200 to discuss

01:08:02.460 PTSD

01:08:03.040 and the

01:08:03.780 book

01:08:04.120 to help

01:08:05.140 try to

01:08:05.680 break

01:08:05.940 that

01:08:06.220 stigma

01:08:06.660 you know

01:08:07.920 because

01:08:08.300 too many

01:08:09.560 people

01:08:09.920 suffer in

01:08:10.500 silence

01:08:11.060 and I

01:08:11.920 hope people

01:08:12.460 can learn

01:08:12.920 from my

01:08:13.460 my mistake

01:08:14.380 of doing

01:08:15.080 that

01:08:15.440 you know

01:08:16.200 in 2010

01:08:17.700 in January

01:08:18.580 my wife

01:08:19.900 and daughter

01:08:20.440 my oldest

01:08:21.500 daughter came

01:08:21.980 to me

01:08:22.420 and said

01:08:23.420 dad

01:08:23.780 and if

01:08:24.760 you would

01:08:25.720 have read

01:08:26.020 a book

01:08:26.520 of someone

01:08:27.640 going through

01:08:28.100 similar

01:08:28.540 challenges

01:08:29.240 would it

01:08:30.380 have inspired

01:08:30.980 you

01:08:31.400 would it

01:08:31.780 have helped

01:08:32.180 you during

01:08:32.660 your journey

01:08:33.280 and I

01:08:34.180 said

01:08:34.360 absolutely

01:08:34.840 would have

01:08:35.380 and they

01:08:36.300 said

01:08:36.400 why don't

01:08:36.860 you write

01:08:37.220 your memoir

01:08:37.840 if it

01:08:38.740 helps one

01:08:39.400 person

01:08:40.060 one family

01:08:41.100 it's worth

01:08:42.220 doing

01:08:42.680 and I

01:08:44.860 said

01:08:45.020 okay

01:08:45.420 and at

01:08:45.980 that time

01:08:46.720 I didn't

01:08:47.740 I had not

01:08:48.180 been diagnosed

01:08:48.880 and people

01:08:50.120 would see

01:08:50.620 the scars

01:08:51.140 on my knee

01:08:51.800 or see

01:08:52.260 me limp

01:08:52.880 and bully

01:08:54.620 me or

01:08:55.180 judge me

01:08:55.800 and I

01:08:57.460 thought if

01:08:57.940 I

01:08:58.200 if my

01:08:59.320 if I

01:09:00.360 stuttered

01:09:01.620 because of

01:09:03.300 of

01:09:03.860 showing

01:09:06.120 emotion

01:09:06.640 or my

01:09:07.300 I welled

01:09:08.280 up

01:09:08.540 that I

01:09:09.400 would be

01:09:09.640 judged

01:09:10.000 I

01:09:10.240 would be

01:09:10.740 ashamed

01:09:11.240 so even

01:09:12.120 when I

01:09:12.460 first started

01:09:12.980 writing the

01:09:13.440 book

01:09:13.800 or putting

01:09:14.740 it on

01:09:15.260 an iPad

01:09:15.700 it was

01:09:17.740 just kind

01:09:18.040 of like a

01:09:18.320 police report

01:09:18.900 I didn't

01:09:19.240 show any

01:09:19.780 emotion

01:09:20.360 and then

01:09:22.680 when I

01:09:24.220 went home

01:09:24.800 and after

01:09:25.880 after I

01:09:26.660 read that

01:09:27.220 article

01:09:27.880 I

01:09:29.280 realized

01:09:29.920 that was

01:09:30.800 my

01:09:31.080 aha

01:09:31.500 moment

01:09:32.060 that I

01:09:33.280 was

01:09:33.480 had the

01:09:34.560 courage

01:09:34.900 to go

01:09:35.240 see my

01:09:35.560 wife

01:09:35.940 and I

01:09:37.480 went home

01:09:37.960 right away

01:09:38.620 I said

01:09:40.440 honey

01:09:40.640 we've

01:09:40.920 got to

01:09:41.200 talk

01:09:41.620 and all

01:09:45.300 those

01:09:45.620 things I

01:09:46.160 feared she'd

01:09:46.820 say

01:09:47.240 Mr. Beck

01:09:48.020 she didn't

01:09:49.280 say

01:09:49.700 I should

01:09:51.240 have given

01:09:51.540 her credit

01:09:52.060 long before

01:09:53.280 for the

01:09:53.720 incredible

01:09:54.080 lady she 0.76

01:09:54.600 is

01:09:55.000 she said

01:09:56.720 I love

01:09:58.200 you

01:09:58.580 we'll get

01:10:01.500 through this

01:10:01.920 together

01:10:02.340 let's call

01:10:03.700 your doctor

01:10:04.300 let's go to

01:10:05.500 Mass General

01:10:05.940 tomorrow

01:10:06.460 and we

01:10:08.640 did

01:10:09.020 and

01:10:10.800 the doctor

01:10:12.060 sent me

01:10:12.460 out to

01:10:12.760 see a

01:10:13.040 psychologist

01:10:13.580 and I

01:10:14.740 walked in

01:10:15.100 the next

01:10:15.440 day

01:10:15.900 with my

01:10:16.800 hat pulled

01:10:17.340 down

01:10:17.820 and

01:10:19.380 you know

01:10:19.900 sometimes

01:10:20.180 in Boston

01:10:20.780 people

01:10:21.140 will recognize

01:10:21.760 me and

01:10:22.440 I thought

01:10:24.240 oh my

01:10:24.680 gosh what

01:10:25.140 happens if

01:10:25.480 somebody

01:10:25.720 recognizes

01:10:26.380 me and

01:10:26.840 says

01:10:27.160 why are

01:10:27.880 you here

01:10:28.420 now I'm

01:10:30.460 proud to

01:10:31.120 be a

01:10:31.360 PTSD

01:10:31.780 survivor

01:10:32.380 I hope

01:10:33.100 somebody

01:10:33.420 recognizes

01:10:34.080 me so

01:10:35.280 I can

01:10:35.540 tell them

01:10:35.880 it's

01:10:36.060 nothing to

01:10:36.600 be ashamed

01:10:37.060 of

01:10:37.320 I see

01:10:37.860 a counselor

01:10:38.380 regularly

01:10:38.980 now and

01:10:39.980 if something

01:10:40.620 comes up

01:10:41.300 I proactively

01:10:42.520 reach out to

01:10:43.440 my doctor

01:10:44.040 counseling has

01:10:45.740 changed my

01:10:46.340 world for the

01:10:46.900 better

01:10:47.220 it's helped

01:10:48.080 me be a

01:10:48.640 better

01:10:48.940 better

01:10:49.920 dad

01:10:51.080 it's helped

01:10:51.560 me be a

01:10:52.040 better

01:10:52.340 husband

01:10:53.520 it's helped

01:10:54.040 me be a

01:10:54.440 better

01:10:54.620 person

01:10:55.300 but

01:10:56.400 you know

01:10:57.740 counseling

01:10:58.440 I remember

01:10:58.920 the first day

01:10:59.540 I went to

01:10:59.920 counseling

01:11:00.420 Mr. Beck

01:11:01.340 he my

01:11:02.220 counselor said

01:11:03.000 your symptoms

01:11:04.240 are going to

01:11:04.660 get worse

01:11:05.140 before it

01:11:05.620 gets better

01:11:06.120 before they

01:11:07.640 get better

01:11:08.120 and I

01:11:09.120 thought oh

01:11:09.540 my gosh

01:11:10.240 and if

01:11:12.580 that happens

01:11:13.000 what am I

01:11:13.300 going to

01:11:13.480 do

01:11:13.820 but that

01:11:15.060 night I

01:11:15.420 spoke to

01:11:15.800 my wife

01:11:16.220 I told

01:11:17.260 my daughter

01:11:17.860 and she

01:11:19.160 said dad

01:11:19.800 it's not

01:11:21.180 going to

01:11:21.300 be easy

01:11:21.800 but you

01:11:23.140 got to

01:11:23.300 make a

01:11:23.560 promise

01:11:23.820 to me

01:11:24.120 you won't

01:11:24.400 give up

01:11:24.900 and I

01:11:26.100 promised her

01:11:26.680 that

01:11:27.040 and I

01:11:27.940 wasn't

01:11:28.380 going to

01:11:28.580 break that

01:11:28.960 promise

01:11:29.440 and counseling

01:11:30.920 was tough

01:11:31.600 I did a

01:11:32.760 type of

01:11:33.320 counseling

01:11:33.620 called

01:11:33.920 exposure

01:11:34.520 therapy

01:11:35.520 in which

01:11:37.060 you

01:11:37.400 write out

01:11:38.760 you

01:11:40.080 desensitize

01:11:41.120 each

01:11:41.900 trauma

01:11:42.520 you write

01:11:44.140 out your

01:11:44.680 your traumas

01:11:45.700 to try to

01:11:46.620 desensitize

01:11:47.420 those traumas

01:11:48.160 one by

01:11:49.140 one

01:11:49.560 and initially

01:11:51.380 I literally

01:11:52.100 wrote them

01:11:52.960 out on

01:11:53.300 paper

01:11:53.600 and

01:11:55.180 I would

01:11:56.940 write them

01:11:57.700 as I

01:11:58.400 would write

01:11:58.780 them I

01:11:59.080 would be

01:11:59.300 crying so

01:12:00.160 intense

01:12:01.060 that the

01:12:02.360 paper would

01:12:02.760 get so

01:12:03.160 soaking wet

01:12:03.980 that I

01:12:05.340 would have

01:12:05.580 to start

01:12:05.940 over

01:12:06.260 and I

01:12:07.880 would

01:12:08.000 initially

01:12:08.400 write them

01:12:08.940 on paper

01:12:09.460 and then

01:12:10.600 my wife

01:12:11.080 would enter

01:12:11.500 them into

01:12:11.980 the computer

01:12:12.600 and it

01:12:15.500 was a way

01:12:15.940 for her

01:12:16.420 to

01:12:17.000 learn

01:12:18.560 about

01:12:19.500 things that

01:12:20.800 were going

01:12:21.100 on in

01:12:21.420 me

01:12:21.620 and

01:12:23.220 at times

01:12:24.900 she would

01:12:25.200 say this

01:12:25.560 doesn't make

01:12:26.020 sense

01:12:26.340 David

01:12:26.700 and I

01:12:28.300 would try

01:12:28.560 to explain

01:12:29.060 to her

01:12:29.620 the pain

01:12:31.600 physical

01:12:32.160 pain

01:12:32.660 the emotional

01:12:33.360 pain

01:12:33.820 and

01:12:35.060 you know

01:12:36.820 my symptoms

01:12:38.000 were kind

01:12:38.500 of I

01:12:38.900 thought of

01:12:39.580 them as

01:12:39.860 like a

01:12:40.360 sea monster

01:12:40.980 like a

01:12:41.860 kraken

01:12:42.400 with tentacles

01:12:43.740 of different

01:12:44.780 different

01:12:45.820 demons

01:12:47.400 or different

01:12:48.080 symptoms

01:12:48.580 would

01:12:49.040 you know

01:12:49.740 as soon

01:12:50.020 as one

01:12:50.440 would get

01:12:50.700 better

01:12:50.900 another one

01:12:51.320 would reach

01:12:51.680 out and

01:12:51.960 grab me

01:12:52.440 and attach

01:12:54.260 to me

01:12:54.920 and as

01:12:57.080 I would

01:12:57.400 write this

01:12:58.460 down

01:12:58.940 part of it

01:13:00.240 would be

01:13:01.260 to try to

01:13:01.860 desensitize it

01:13:03.040 was the writing

01:13:04.320 process and

01:13:05.220 then I would

01:13:05.660 read it to

01:13:06.300 myself

01:13:06.900 and then I

01:13:07.980 would read it

01:13:08.500 in front of

01:13:08.940 a mirror

01:13:09.420 and then I

01:13:10.840 would read it

01:13:11.280 to my

01:13:11.580 counselor

01:13:12.080 and with

01:13:13.100 my permission

01:13:13.980 she would

01:13:14.460 record it

01:13:15.200 and then in

01:13:16.280 between I

01:13:16.880 went for an

01:13:17.400 hour on

01:13:17.940 Mondays

01:13:18.520 and an

01:13:19.180 hour and a

01:13:19.700 half on

01:13:20.180 Fridays

01:13:20.780 in between

01:13:22.120 sessions

01:13:22.940 while I was

01:13:23.840 working on

01:13:24.880 continuing

01:13:26.360 that trauma

01:13:28.460 writing about

01:13:29.740 it I would

01:13:30.200 listen to what

01:13:31.100 I'd been

01:13:31.880 working on

01:13:32.460 to desensitize

01:13:33.560 that

01:13:33.900 it was an

01:13:35.260 intense

01:13:35.840 process

01:13:36.580 so it

01:13:38.740 took me

01:13:39.660 I started

01:13:40.640 right away

01:13:42.720 in September

01:13:43.400 right after

01:13:44.340 September 23rd

01:13:45.520 and

01:13:46.760 it was an

01:13:48.020 intense

01:13:48.420 process

01:13:49.140 and then

01:13:50.060 February 25th

01:13:52.560 2011

01:13:53.520 I slept

01:13:55.780 through the

01:13:56.160 night

01:13:56.500 for seven

01:13:58.340 hours

01:13:58.880 without a

01:13:59.620 nightmare

01:13:59.920 I felt

01:14:01.920 like

01:14:02.240 jumping up

01:14:03.100 and down

01:14:03.440 on the

01:14:03.760 bed

01:14:04.040 screaming 0.51

01:14:04.640 hallelujah

01:14:05.320 when I

01:14:05.700 woke up

01:14:06.260 I mean

01:14:07.460 I looked

01:14:07.780 at my

01:14:08.100 watch

01:14:08.580 I had

01:14:10.740 no

01:14:11.820 nightmare

01:14:12.340 I had

01:14:13.380 slept

01:14:13.780 for the

01:14:14.260 first time

01:14:14.760 in 29

01:14:15.260 years

01:14:15.840 and that

01:14:17.980 was the

01:14:18.400 first

01:14:18.880 signal

01:14:19.960 that my

01:14:21.420 symptoms

01:14:22.000 that therapy

01:14:23.040 was really

01:14:23.480 working

01:14:23.840 before that

01:14:25.220 you know

01:14:25.880 I felt

01:14:26.900 sometimes

01:14:27.540 that things

01:14:28.620 were a little

01:14:28.920 bit better

01:14:29.280 my flashbacks

01:14:29.940 weren't as

01:14:30.300 bad during

01:14:30.740 the day

01:14:31.220 but that

01:14:32.400 was like

01:14:33.220 oh my

01:14:33.660 gosh

01:14:34.040 and I'm

01:14:35.060 major

01:14:36.160 superstitious

01:14:36.940 I wanted

01:14:37.980 to tell

01:14:38.280 my wife

01:14:38.740 as soon

01:14:39.040 as she

01:14:39.260 woke up

01:14:39.740 but I

01:14:40.020 didn't

01:14:40.260 dare

01:14:40.520 because I

01:14:40.820 was scared

01:14:41.160 I'd jinx it

01:14:41.920 I wanted

01:14:43.540 to tell my

01:14:43.920 doctor

01:14:44.360 and I

01:14:45.840 didn't want

01:14:46.240 to jinx it

01:14:46.920 and then I

01:14:48.580 went three

01:14:48.960 days in a row

01:14:49.700 and I just

01:14:50.940 as soon as my

01:14:51.800 wife woke up 0.99

01:14:52.400 I just

01:14:53.540 shared the

01:14:54.080 news like I

01:14:54.700 just I

01:14:55.380 was so

01:14:55.720 excited

01:14:56.160 and then as

01:14:57.180 soon as

01:14:57.740 nine o'clock

01:14:58.460 rolled around

01:14:59.240 I called my

01:14:59.780 doctor

01:15:00.120 I mean I

01:15:00.700 was so

01:15:01.140 excited

01:15:01.660 and counseling

01:15:03.180 that was the

01:15:05.720 breakthrough in

01:15:06.340 my counseling

01:15:06.920 that really

01:15:08.220 started to

01:15:08.880 turn the

01:15:09.280 corner

01:15:09.580 and show

01:15:10.960 that my

01:15:12.020 flashbacks

01:15:13.080 started to

01:15:13.680 get better

01:15:14.240 my nightmares

01:15:14.960 stopped

01:15:15.540 until

01:15:16.940 November of

01:15:18.040 2015

01:15:18.800 and which

01:15:20.880 I had two

01:15:21.400 nightmares

01:15:21.820 and you

01:15:24.400 know now

01:15:25.720 I have tools

01:15:26.640 to manage

01:15:28.040 nightmares when

01:15:28.760 they happen

01:15:29.260 from breathing

01:15:30.800 techniques

01:15:31.520 to meditation

01:15:32.920 to reaching

01:15:34.620 out to my

01:15:35.120 counselor right

01:15:35.720 away instead

01:15:36.640 of letting

01:15:37.000 things

01:15:37.320 fester

01:15:37.800 where before

01:15:39.060 when I had

01:15:39.580 nightmares

01:15:40.140 you just

01:15:44.060 bury them

01:15:44.440 I buried

01:15:44.920 them and

01:15:45.140 they got

01:15:45.360 worse

01:15:45.740 I dwelled

01:15:46.520 on them

01:15:46.900 I went

01:15:47.560 I didn't

01:15:47.980 go back

01:15:48.240 to sleep

01:15:48.700 if they

01:15:49.420 happened

01:15:49.820 if I fell

01:15:50.500 asleep

01:15:50.880 at finally

01:15:51.760 at 1230

01:15:52.780 and they

01:15:53.080 happened

01:15:53.420 at 1245

01:15:54.940 some nights

01:15:56.360 I just

01:15:56.700 too scared

01:15:57.260 to go back

01:15:57.580 to sleep

01:15:57.880 and I

01:15:59.760 just ran

01:16:00.160 on empty

01:16:00.580 till the

01:16:01.000 next night

01:16:01.500 and as

01:16:02.300 sure as

01:16:02.640 that sun

01:16:03.040 was going

01:16:03.340 to go

01:16:03.580 down

01:16:03.820 I knew

01:16:04.980 it wasn't

01:16:06.060 a question

01:16:06.400 dread

01:16:06.820 just dread

01:16:07.880 going to

01:16:11.120 bed

01:16:11.820 yes sir

01:16:12.720 how are

01:16:14.060 your nightmares

01:16:14.380 now

01:16:14.700 I'm not

01:16:15.480 having them

01:16:15.880 right now

01:16:16.260 knock on wood

01:16:16.920 you know

01:16:18.800 sooner or

01:16:19.320 later I

01:16:20.220 will

01:16:20.540 yeah

01:16:20.980 that's part

01:16:21.480 of life

01:16:21.900 yeah

01:16:22.180 but I

01:16:22.680 know how

01:16:23.460 to proactively

01:16:24.900 deal with

01:16:25.980 them

01:16:26.140 yes sir

01:16:26.760 can we

01:16:41.860 talk for a

01:16:42.280 minute just

01:16:42.600 about dogs

01:16:43.300 yes sir

01:16:44.040 you and I

01:16:44.660 are both

01:16:45.420 shepherd fans

01:16:46.980 yes sir

01:16:47.560 this is the

01:16:49.120 first time

01:16:49.480 you've traveled

01:16:49.940 without your

01:16:50.440 dog

01:16:50.780 yes sir

01:16:51.400 and thank

01:16:52.840 you for

01:16:53.120 that

01:16:54.100 but your

01:16:55.300 dog is

01:16:55.780 sick

01:16:56.180 but I

01:16:56.540 want to

01:16:56.880 I want

01:16:57.560 to talk

01:16:57.840 about

01:16:58.120 the positive

01:16:58.860 stuff

01:16:59.360 when you

01:17:01.000 first got

01:17:01.500 your dog

01:17:01.980 there was

01:17:04.360 a connection

01:17:04.860 between that

01:17:05.960 dog and

01:17:06.360 your brother

01:17:06.780 yes sir

01:17:07.640 so growing

01:17:10.000 up

01:17:10.340 my brother

01:17:13.100 and I

01:17:13.340 always had

01:17:13.880 dogs

01:17:14.260 and

01:17:15.460 and then

01:17:16.960 for years

01:17:17.720 Terry would

01:17:18.640 say someday

01:17:19.260 after I die

01:17:20.560 I'm going to

01:17:21.220 come back

01:17:21.540 as your dog

01:17:22.260 and I didn't

01:17:23.580 think anything

01:17:24.040 of it

01:17:24.420 one

01:17:24.700 I just

01:17:25.140 didn't

01:17:25.320 think

01:17:25.500 Terry was

01:17:26.580 going to

01:17:26.760 die

01:17:26.940 anytime

01:17:27.360 and I

01:17:29.620 just never

01:17:30.060 put a

01:17:30.440 connection

01:17:30.760 with how

01:17:32.100 that would

01:17:32.440 happen

01:17:32.820 if that

01:17:33.680 would happen

01:17:34.120 or that

01:17:34.800 it would

01:17:35.340 happen

01:17:35.700 and then Terry

01:17:37.080 passed away

01:17:37.660 in July of

01:17:38.180 98

01:17:38.520 and I

01:17:40.360 didn't have a

01:17:40.940 service dog

01:17:41.560 when Terry

01:17:42.520 was around

01:17:43.120 and

01:17:44.460 and then

01:17:46.140 after

01:17:47.820 counseling

01:17:48.440 my wife

01:17:50.700 said

01:17:51.240 David

01:17:51.940 I think

01:17:53.840 a service

01:17:54.260 dog

01:17:54.540 could be

01:17:54.960 another

01:17:55.360 tool

01:17:56.220 another

01:17:57.380 extension

01:17:57.920 of your

01:17:58.420 counseling

01:17:59.700 and your

01:18:00.240 healing

01:18:00.680 would you

01:18:01.860 consider

01:18:02.240 getting a

01:18:02.680 service

01:18:02.920 dog

01:18:03.220 and

01:18:04.620 before

01:18:05.700 counseling

01:18:06.260 I don't

01:18:08.000 think I

01:18:08.340 would have

01:18:08.600 gotten a

01:18:08.940 service

01:18:09.180 dog

01:18:09.460 because I

01:18:09.880 think

01:18:10.120 people

01:18:10.660 would have

01:18:11.000 stared at

01:18:11.600 me

01:18:11.820 I would

01:18:12.900 have been

01:18:13.180 too

01:18:13.820 sensitive

01:18:14.620 I think

01:18:16.140 I would

01:18:16.680 have been

01:18:17.020 worried

01:18:17.520 I would

01:18:18.100 have been

01:18:18.280 judged

01:18:18.640 you know

01:18:19.680 and

01:18:21.120 but after

01:18:22.260 counseling

01:18:22.440 did you let

01:18:22.460 that stuff

01:18:22.860 go

01:18:23.160 yeah

01:18:23.640 now I do

01:18:24.560 but back

01:18:25.740 then I would

01:18:26.220 not have

01:18:26.640 you know

01:18:27.220 because I

01:18:27.680 was getting

01:18:28.040 bullied on

01:18:28.760 people staring

01:18:29.780 at my scars

01:18:30.380 and getting

01:18:31.560 you know

01:18:31.980 when I limped

01:18:32.640 and I was

01:18:33.740 just paranoid

01:18:34.280 but

01:18:35.440 after counseling

01:18:36.760 you know

01:18:38.460 counseling

01:18:40.000 changed my

01:18:40.500 world

01:18:40.840 and so we

01:18:42.140 started

01:18:42.360 researching

01:18:42.800 service

01:18:43.220 dogs

01:18:43.560 and my

01:18:44.880 wife grew 0.91

01:18:45.260 up with

01:18:45.560 shepherds

01:18:46.020 and just

01:18:47.280 the best

01:18:48.300 that's what

01:18:48.800 she said

01:18:49.340 the best

01:18:50.140 and talked

01:18:51.300 about loyalty

01:18:51.940 and smart 0.77

01:18:52.840 and and

01:18:54.140 so we

01:18:54.380 started looking

01:18:54.800 into him

01:18:55.360 and we

01:18:56.420 got a

01:18:56.880 service dog

01:18:57.480 his name

01:18:58.540 is Drago

01:18:59.080 and so

01:19:00.640 he came

01:19:01.180 into my

01:19:01.440 life May

01:19:01.940 9th

01:19:02.340 2014

01:19:02.980 and we

01:19:04.540 took him

01:19:04.820 to the

01:19:05.060 vet the

01:19:05.420 next day

01:19:05.980 for his

01:19:06.660 first checkup

01:19:07.360 and the

01:19:08.640 vet ran

01:19:09.120 the scanner

01:19:09.640 down its

01:19:10.080 back to

01:19:10.640 check his

01:19:11.680 microchip

01:19:12.340 and it

01:19:14.240 turns out

01:19:14.760 Drago has

01:19:15.360 the same

01:19:15.720 birthday as

01:19:16.380 my brother

01:19:16.780 Terry

01:19:17.160 isn't that

01:19:18.740 incredible

01:19:19.220 and

01:19:21.040 Drago literally

01:19:24.220 means world

01:19:24.760 to me

01:19:25.200 he's an

01:19:28.140 important part

01:19:28.620 of my life

01:19:29.140 he goes

01:19:29.920 everywhere with

01:19:30.540 me

01:19:30.760 you know

01:19:31.800 he's trained

01:19:32.260 not to go

01:19:32.680 to the bathroom

01:19:33.120 on grass

01:19:33.780 he's on the

01:19:34.800 field with me

01:19:35.380 every day

01:19:35.940 and

01:19:37.320 how did

01:19:38.380 you do

01:19:38.980 that

01:19:39.340 just

01:19:39.760 repetition

01:19:40.360 just repetition

01:19:41.600 and you

01:19:43.360 know he's

01:19:43.640 such an

01:19:44.200 important part

01:19:44.640 of my

01:19:44.820 life

01:19:45.060 I have

01:19:47.640 never ended

01:19:48.440 an episode

01:19:49.240 this way

01:19:50.340 before but

01:19:50.980 I would

01:19:51.480 like to

01:19:51.960 with you

01:19:52.540 first of

01:19:55.280 all

01:19:55.460 thank you

01:19:56.800 thank you

01:19:58.560 for writing

01:19:59.620 this book

01:20:00.600 thank you

01:20:01.060 for sharing

01:20:02.040 your story

01:20:02.840 thank you

01:20:03.300 for being

01:20:03.700 so open

01:20:04.660 thank you

01:20:06.060 for making

01:20:07.980 me want to

01:20:08.840 be a better

01:20:09.480 dad and a

01:20:10.480 better man

01:20:11.240 you are

01:20:12.080 remarkable

01:20:13.100 thank you

01:20:14.020 for just

01:20:15.160 not giving

01:20:16.620 up

01:20:16.880 and thank

01:20:18.740 your wife

01:20:19.460 and your

01:20:19.940 daughters

01:20:20.420 thank you

01:20:21.480 please

01:20:22.780 if I may

01:20:24.240 talk to the

01:20:24.980 audience for a

01:20:25.620 second

01:20:25.780 the name of

01:20:26.620 the book

01:20:26.940 is one

01:20:27.700 base at a

01:20:28.400 time

01:20:28.800 please share

01:20:30.160 this with

01:20:30.720 anyone you

01:20:31.340 know

01:20:31.640 I wish

01:20:32.700 this book

01:20:33.100 would have

01:20:33.340 been out

01:20:33.680 for me

01:20:34.180 and my

01:20:34.660 family

01:20:35.080 years before

01:20:36.180 please read

01:20:37.200 it

01:20:37.780 just a

01:20:43.460 reminder

01:20:43.840 I'd love

01:20:45.120 you to

01:20:45.380 rate and

01:20:45.960 subscribe to

01:20:46.580 the podcast

01:20:47.200 and pass

01:20:47.760 this on to

01:20:48.140 a friend

01:20:48.520 so it can

01:20:49.020 be discovered

01:20:49.440 by other

01:20:49.840 people

01:21:01.640 people

01:21:02.880 they're

01:21:05.040 me

01:21:07.740 I wish

01:21:09.160 they're

01:21:09.440 a

01:21:09.880 they're

01:21:11.840 they're

01:21:12.200 they're

01:21:13.580 they're

01:21:14.100 they're

01:21:15.900 they're

01:21:15.940 they're

01:21:17.980 they're

01:21:18.440 they're

01:21:18.620 they're

01:21:19.540 they're

01:21:19.840 they're

01:21:20.060 they're

01:21:20.260 and they're

01:21:20.880 they're

01:21:21.100 they're

01:21:21.880 they're

01:21:22.820 they're

01:21:23.240 they're

01:21:23.340 they're

01:21:23.820 they're

01:21:24.000 they're

01:21:24.380 they're

01:21:25.000 they're

01:21:25.320 they're

01:21:25.400 they're

The Glenn Beck Program - November 02, 2019

Ep 57 ｜ After 2 Accidents and 29 Years of Nightmares and PTSD, I’m STILL Standing! ｜ David Mellor ｜ The Glenn Beck Podcast

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