The Glenn Beck Program - November 02, 2019


Ep 57 | After 2 Accidents and 29 Years of Nightmares and PTSD, I’m STILL Standing! | David Mellor | The Glenn Beck Podcast


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 21 minutes

Words per Minute

152.69571

Word Count

12,439

Sentence Count

822

Misogynist Sentences

63

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary

The story of a guy who grew up just wanting to be a ballplayer. He wanted to play so badly for the Boston Red Sox. He had an amazing string of events that had a better chance of winning the lottery than this happening to him.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Today's podcast is very special and personal to me.
00:00:05.660 You are going to meet a man who I have admired for a very long time.
00:00:11.300 In fact, when I first heard his story, maybe close to 10 years ago,
00:00:16.180 I bought the rights to his story, and I wanted to publish his story and tell it.
00:00:21.960 And no publisher was interested.
00:00:24.540 And it went on and on and on.
00:00:27.580 And finally, a couple of years ago, I said,
00:00:31.940 David, I'm doing you a great disservice by holding your story.
00:00:35.000 Please, I give it back to you.
00:00:37.680 Tell your story.
00:00:38.820 He did.
00:00:39.760 And it is now from Post Hill Press.
00:00:43.620 It is one of the best stories I have heard.
00:00:47.500 It is the story of a guy who grew up just wanting to be a ballplayer.
00:00:52.000 He wanted to play so badly for the Red Sox.
00:00:54.460 He had an amazing string of events that you have a better chance of winning the lottery than this happening to you.
00:01:03.380 Amazing string of events of bad years, decades of just horrible stuff happening to him.
00:01:11.900 And he fights through it the entire time.
00:01:14.660 And he fights alone, self-imposed.
00:01:17.060 He didn't know what was happening to him.
00:01:19.900 Yet, all the while, he is doing a job he loves.
00:01:24.400 He doesn't become a ballplayer.
00:01:26.140 He ends up now as the groundskeeper for the Boston Red Sox.
00:01:31.820 And you know his work.
00:01:33.520 If you've ever seen a ball field where they've cut in the name of the team or they've made a picture on the field,
00:01:40.680 it's this guy that first did it.
00:01:43.220 Amazing strength.
00:01:44.860 Tremendous humility.
00:01:46.060 You are going to love the next hour with David Mellor.
00:02:03.140 This has been a long time coming.
00:02:06.660 I've loved your story since 2010, I think, is when we first stumbled across each other.
00:02:16.500 You are truly a remarkable, positive man.
00:02:24.040 And quite honestly, you don't have that much reason to, if you chose, to look at your life a different way.
00:02:30.660 And yet, here you sit, a guy who wanted to be a pitcher for the Red Sox.
00:02:39.640 That's all you dreamt of as a kid, right?
00:02:41.780 Yes, sir.
00:02:42.720 And here you sit.
00:02:44.220 You didn't get a pitch.
00:02:45.780 But as you sat down, I looked at your hands and went, oh my gosh.
00:02:50.480 And you are wearing the Boston Red Sox World Series ring.
00:02:56.760 Yes, sir.
00:02:57.280 I'm very, very blessed.
00:02:58.380 So, for people who don't know who you are, let's have them discover how you got that ring slowly.
00:03:09.360 Let's start at the beginning.
00:03:11.440 You're a kid.
00:03:12.920 You live in the Boston area.
00:03:15.200 Boston is your, I mean, the Red Sox are everything.
00:03:18.800 And you grow up wanting to be a pitcher.
00:03:22.960 I did.
00:03:23.920 Yes, sir.
00:03:24.560 My grandfather played in 1902 in the majors, and my dream was to follow in his footsteps.
00:03:31.800 My dad died when I was three, and my mom and two brothers helped raise me and raised me to be a Red Sox fanatics.
00:03:39.220 And I just lived and breathed baseball, but especially Red Sox baseball.
00:03:45.700 So, you know, I wear, I don't, I don't follow sports at all, but my wife's family are Yankee fanatics.
00:03:54.080 And so I wear a Red Sox hat just to drive everybody crazy.
00:03:59.440 Oh, that's funny.
00:04:00.300 That's quite the rivalry.
00:04:01.860 So were you good growing up?
00:04:03.800 Were you good at baseball?
00:04:05.360 Yes, sir.
00:04:06.240 You know, I had the dream and the love and heart for it.
00:04:10.240 And then once I got to high school, I had opportunities for scholarships.
00:04:13.460 Yes, sir.
00:04:14.100 So you were on your way.
00:04:15.320 You may not have been a pitcher for the Red Sox, but you were on your way to some sort of career in baseball, you thought.
00:04:22.480 Yes, sir.
00:04:23.460 You're 18.
00:04:24.420 Yes, sir.
00:04:25.200 What happens?
00:04:25.760 Well, a month after I got out of high school, we had qualified for a state tournament.
00:04:31.980 And my coach said, before you sign a scholarship, why don't you wait till we go to the state tournament?
00:04:38.920 And if you do well, you're going to get more offers.
00:04:41.400 I said, that sounds great.
00:04:43.340 And so about 10 days before that tournament, I had gone to see a movie with one of my buddies.
00:04:48.340 And we got out of the movie, and it was a beautiful sunset, and there's a saying, red sky at night, sailor's delight.
00:04:56.700 Really superstitious.
00:04:58.200 And so I thought, that's a great sign of things to come.
00:05:01.720 And so we're driving.
00:05:02.940 He says, how about if we stop and get a bite to eat?
00:05:05.620 And so we saw a McDonald's.
00:05:07.300 And so we pulled into the parking lot and parked on the right side of the entrance across from the door.
00:05:13.640 And we got out and started walking across the parking lot.
00:05:16.440 And I realized I forgot my wallet.
00:05:19.620 And so he says, hey, I'm going to go ahead and go in.
00:05:21.640 And I went back to the car to get my wallet and picked my wallet up and closed the door and started taking a few steps toward the door.
00:05:29.440 And I heard a car come off the street quickly and stop suddenly.
00:05:34.920 I looked up, and the two people in the car, the driver and the passenger, had opened their doors and were changing positions to the other person was going to drive.
00:05:46.080 So I stopped and waited for them to get in.
00:05:49.660 And when they got in and shut the doors, I motioned for them to go ahead and drive through to get to the drive-through.
00:05:57.280 And they motioned for me to start walking and go ahead and go.
00:06:00.980 And so I started walking, and I heard them rev their engine and squeal their tires.
00:06:07.120 And I had enough time to turn, and I lifted my left leg and put both my hands up.
00:06:14.540 And the car was speeding right at me, and I didn't have time to move anywhere else.
00:06:20.720 And the car hit me, threw me 20 feet in the air, and I slammed into the brick wall right where the corner of the door jutted out.
00:06:31.680 And luckily, I landed right in the corner.
00:06:34.000 I slammed into the brick wall, landed in a pile at the base of the corner of the wall.
00:06:39.980 And when I looked up, the car was coming at a higher rate of speed.
00:06:45.260 And the car hit the metal handrail, sparks flew, and the car's metal bumper pinned the handrail in the car's bumper against my knee against the wall.
00:06:55.440 And, you know, the engine is revving, and the car exhaust is, you know, I'm having a hard time breathing.
00:07:06.140 And I can see the lady just staring at me over the steering wheel.
00:07:11.460 And I'm screaming at her to, please stop, please stop.
00:07:15.400 And the force of the car is still pressing my knee against the wall.
00:07:19.600 And, you know, by that time, I can see people, you know, pressed against the glass, trying to look at me.
00:07:27.880 And as time goes by, pretty soon, there's a gentleman with, it's dusk, and there's a gentleman shortly thereafter with flashbulbs taking pictures, who later turns out.
00:07:39.020 While the engine is still going strong?
00:07:41.800 Shortly thereafter, it turns out he was a newspaper reporter, the local newspaper.
00:07:46.020 However, a police officer comes and tries to reassure me that it's going to be okay.
00:07:53.540 He gets the, he puts it in park, gets the lady out of the car, and his partner is going to back the car up.
00:08:02.940 And as soon as he does, that's when the pain really kicked in, and I almost just passed out from the pain.
00:08:11.200 It was so intense, and it was just, you know, I feared that not only was my leg crushed, that's when I really started wondering if, what am I going to do if I can't play baseball?
00:08:25.040 And, you know, the EMTs arrived, and, you know, I grew up, my mom and two brothers were amazing raising me.
00:08:37.400 But I didn't grow up with a lot of money, and I had a brand new pair of jeans on as a graduation gift.
00:08:43.500 And I remember they wanted to cut my jeans off because my knee had swollen up so much they couldn't see my pants, or see my knee.
00:08:50.520 And it just struck me, a simple thing like that, how that was going to impact my life.
00:08:56.140 And then they had to take me to the emergency room.
00:09:00.680 And even though I was 18, the doctors wouldn't really tell me what was going on until my mother got there.
00:09:09.040 And so there were just so many things spinning in my head.
00:09:12.960 What was wrong with my head?
00:09:14.760 Not my head, but what was wrong with my leg?
00:09:17.060 Stop.
00:09:17.500 What happened with the woman?
00:09:21.160 Did she have a seizure?
00:09:24.460 Was she doing this intentionally?
00:09:26.380 Who was the woman?
00:09:28.780 She said she stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
00:09:33.160 The young lady who she changed drivers was just learning how to drive.
00:09:37.060 Didn't feel comfortable, I guess, driving through the drive-thru.
00:09:40.560 And so the other lady, who was approximately 40 years old, said she would drive instead.
00:09:49.300 And she stepped on the gas instead of the brake and panicked and hit me.
00:09:55.960 So there was no ill intent?
00:09:58.140 No, sir.
00:09:59.180 It was just a freak accident.
00:10:02.800 Did you ever talk to her?
00:10:04.340 No, sir.
00:10:06.260 You kind of wish you did or not?
00:10:09.020 No, sir.
00:10:11.060 You know, it wasn't intentional.
00:10:13.940 It was a freak thing.
00:10:15.240 There was no forgiveness to give her?
00:10:17.460 No, certainly at the time I was upset.
00:10:19.700 You know, there was a time I went through where I was kind of mad at the world.
00:10:23.580 Yeah, I bet.
00:10:24.660 You know, I didn't understand what was going on.
00:10:28.580 And I thought, you know, if I couldn't play baseball, I didn't know for sure what I was
00:10:34.600 going to do.
00:10:35.460 But my dream was still to play baseball.
00:10:39.560 That was absolutely my dream.
00:10:41.660 So when you were asking the doctors, they're not telling you what's going on.
00:10:44.680 Are you specifically asking, can I play baseball?
00:10:48.100 Can I run again?
00:10:48.920 Will I, what's happening to my leg?
00:10:50.500 That's what you're all focused on.
00:10:52.100 Oh, yes, sir.
00:10:53.440 And they won't tell you anything?
00:10:55.020 They wouldn't tell me until my mother got there.
00:10:57.240 And what'd they say?
00:10:58.620 They said, when my mom got there, they said, you know, your son's knee is definitely damaged,
00:11:04.220 but he's going to need to see a knee specialist.
00:11:07.520 And they gave us a doctor to see in a bigger city in Dayton, Ohio.
00:11:13.320 And did you have surgery?
00:11:14.920 I ended up having to have surgery, yes, sir.
00:11:16.760 How many surgeries?
00:11:19.300 You know, initially I had surgery and went up to the University of Toledo afterwards.
00:11:27.540 They were still interested in me pitching.
00:11:30.940 And unfortunately, my knee got injured up there.
00:11:33.600 Oh, jeez.
00:11:34.200 Six weeks into school, and I had to withdraw and come down for another, come back home for another surgery.
00:11:42.040 All right.
00:11:42.960 So now what happens in between this and the next event?
00:11:48.040 Well, in between, you know, my desire was still to play baseball.
00:11:53.660 Right.
00:11:54.520 And so the doctor did surgery and gave me a, you know, back then they put your leg in a cast versus a knee immobilizer.
00:12:04.980 And so you come out of the cast and you have to get range of motion.
00:12:07.920 And then you graduate to, after exercises, to weight lifting.
00:12:16.160 And so they gave me a prescription to gradually start lifting weights, low weights.
00:12:20.920 And so I took that to the physical therapy department.
00:12:26.980 And they said, you know, you can start with up to five pounds, but you need to go gradual.
00:12:33.440 And so they had me sit on the side of the table.
00:12:37.240 And back then they did not have ankle weights at this facility I was at.
00:12:42.240 They had tube socks filled with sand and they would put an ace bandage around it.
00:12:46.580 So they had me sit on the side of a table and do leg extensions.
00:12:50.920 And my leg was so weak and muscles were so atrophied I could not do a full set.
00:12:56.680 My leg was just shaking.
00:12:58.540 And that was on a Monday.
00:13:00.380 And so they told me to come back on Wednesday.
00:13:03.040 And they increased the weight to 15 pounds and said, you know, do you want to play baseball again?
00:13:09.220 I said, yes, sir.
00:13:11.020 And he said, well, you're going to have to work hard.
00:13:13.840 And I, you know, basically I thought he was the doctor.
00:13:15.740 I'd do anything to play baseball again.
00:13:17.880 So I tried to do some extensions sitting on the side of the table and just couldn't even complete a set.
00:13:25.720 So he said, well, come back Friday and plan on working harder.
00:13:28.940 And I went back on Friday and instead of sitting on the side of the table, you know,
00:13:33.240 he pushed on the side of my knee and it was very sore.
00:13:35.680 And he said, you know, we're going to have you lay on your stomach and do hamstring curls.
00:13:41.020 So he strapped five five-pound sandbags and a two-and-a-half-pound sandbag to the side of my leg or my ankle.
00:13:49.220 I remember looking over my shoulder and it looked just like a big tumor on the side of my leg.
00:13:55.660 And he ace bandaged her on and, you know, told me to do three sets and, you know, tapped me on the bottom and said, you know,
00:14:05.940 if you want to play baseball again, you have to work hard and walked out of the room and I struggled to lift it.
00:14:11.160 And I had my hands on the side of the table bracing myself.
00:14:14.540 As I lifted it up, all the weight shifted and my hip stayed flat on the table.
00:14:19.640 And my ankle bounced off the floor and I just screamed and screamed.
00:14:25.020 And a nurse and an attendant came rushing in and carefully picked my leg back up on the table.
00:14:33.600 And ultimately, all the ligaments in my knee were not only what was injured before,
00:14:39.280 but ones that were not injured before were now what they called global instability, were all shredded.
00:14:46.480 So you immediately lawyered up and sued the pants off of that firm.
00:14:52.240 Or what happened next?
00:14:54.200 Well, so I ended up having to have extensive surgery.
00:14:57.520 And, you know, that also increased nightmares.
00:15:03.680 And so you were having nightmares from the first, right?
00:15:09.100 From the first car coming at you.
00:15:10.960 Because I can't imagine.
00:15:12.540 So that started right away.
00:15:14.160 That started the first night.
00:15:16.040 That literally started the first night.
00:15:18.660 And did you have them every night?
00:15:20.440 I had nightmares every night for 29 years.
00:15:24.520 I had one to five nightmares every night.
00:15:27.920 You know, when I first, when I was living at home with my mom, I slept with the TV on.
00:15:32.900 And so when I would yell out screaming at night, and she would rush into the bedroom and say,
00:15:38.700 Are you okay?
00:15:39.340 Are you okay?
00:15:40.220 I would try to blame it on the TV and say, Mom, it's okay.
00:15:43.380 It was just the TV.
00:15:44.500 Why didn't you want to tell her?
00:15:46.860 I was ashamed.
00:15:48.540 I thought it was a sign of weakness at that time to ask for help.
00:15:53.920 I didn't know.
00:15:54.920 What year was this?
00:15:55.900 1981.
00:15:57.140 I didn't know what was wrong with me.
00:15:59.740 I didn't know.
00:16:00.100 You mean because of the nightmares?
00:16:01.760 Yes, sir.
00:16:02.400 I didn't know.
00:16:02.960 I mean, they were all car crash nightmares.
00:16:04.680 I bet they were.
00:16:05.680 And they were vivid.
00:16:06.700 They were lifelike.
00:16:08.460 You know?
00:16:09.120 And I was having flashbacks during the day.
00:16:11.340 If I smelled car exhaust, if I heard revving engines, if I smelled McDonald's french fries,
00:16:20.380 if guys brought lunch at back to work, and I smelled McDonald's french fries, that could
00:16:27.440 trigger a flashback.
00:16:28.700 Does it still?
00:16:30.060 It does not now.
00:16:30.900 No, sir.
00:16:31.880 And that went on for 29 years.
00:16:33.300 29 years.
00:16:34.360 So now your nightmares are getting worse.
00:16:36.760 Are they the same nightmare?
00:16:39.580 After you have this incident where your ligaments snap, the nightmares get worse.
00:16:47.600 Yes, sir.
00:16:48.360 That adds into the nightmare sometimes, where my leg bounces off the floor and I scream.
00:16:55.260 What happens next?
00:16:57.200 So we have, you know, I had seven surgeries.
00:17:00.600 I walked on crutches for two and a half years and walked with a cane for 10 months.
00:17:04.300 Over those first, basically, three and a half years.
00:17:07.720 And you knew your baseball days were over?
00:17:10.360 So after that injury in the physical therapy department, I came out of surgery.
00:17:16.260 And I was in the most pain I had been in after any surgery.
00:17:20.480 And the doctor came to see me after, in recovery.
00:17:25.700 And I said, Doc, how soon can I play baseball again?
00:17:29.720 And he said, David, you won't play baseball again.
00:17:33.460 And he says, you'll be lucky if you walk normal again.
00:17:37.260 And he did quotation fingers when he said the word normal.
00:17:42.520 And tears just started pouring down my face.
00:17:47.560 I was furious at the physical therapist.
00:17:51.720 I was upset that not only was I not going to play baseball again, but I turned it into a competition.
00:18:01.720 You know, that was where one base at a time started to kick in even more.
00:18:06.400 That that was a goal that I turned in even the smallest to walk from here, you know, three feet away out of the hospital bed.
00:18:15.100 Or to be able to walk to the bathroom.
00:18:16.820 Or to be able to do one more leg raise.
00:18:20.200 It just became a competition that I was going to walk normal again.
00:18:25.080 When you just told me about what the doctor said to you, maybe I'm wrong, but it looked like your eyes welled up still.
00:18:33.580 It's still painful, isn't it?
00:18:34.940 Yes, sir.
00:18:36.040 Yes, sir.
00:18:37.160 But I'm proud of what I've achieved since.
00:18:40.820 But absolutely, it still hurts.
00:18:42.500 So, he tells you you are not going to play baseball.
00:18:47.800 You don't want to accept it and you start working.
00:18:52.520 At least, did you accept the baseball part of it?
00:18:55.500 And you were just working to walk normal again?
00:18:58.240 I accepted the baseball part.
00:19:00.000 I was bitter.
00:19:01.460 I was really bitter.
00:19:03.160 And still having nightmares.
00:19:04.660 Oh, absolutely.
00:19:05.520 I have nightmares and flashbacks.
00:19:08.240 Nightmares and flashbacks.
00:19:09.460 Nightmares every night.
00:19:11.520 Then what happened?
00:19:12.500 So, I was in physical therapy and, you know, my mother was the assistant pastor at our church.
00:19:19.540 And, you know, she was working.
00:19:22.320 And fortunately, some retired gentlemen and ladies from our church would drive me to physical therapy.
00:19:32.460 And, you know, I'm embarrassed to say I wasn't always the nicest patient at physical therapy.
00:19:38.940 And I would do my work.
00:19:40.900 But I didn't interact with the physical therapist.
00:19:43.200 I didn't interact with the people around me.
00:19:46.640 Were you mad at God, too?
00:19:47.880 Or did you hold on to that?
00:19:49.320 You know, I think at times I was.
00:19:50.740 Yes, sir.
00:19:51.740 I was.
00:19:52.320 I'm embarrassed to say I was.
00:19:54.500 And, you know, I just, I was mad at myself.
00:19:57.960 You know, there were times I needed, you know, thankfully counseling taught me to love myself again.
00:20:04.220 But.
00:20:04.780 Why were you mad?
00:20:06.200 I mean, I can understand.
00:20:08.020 I can understand your anger at the woman who first hit you.
00:20:12.380 I can understand the anger at the doctor or the physical therapist and the situation.
00:20:19.240 But why were you mad at you?
00:20:21.360 Because of my mood swings.
00:20:23.460 I wasn't, I wasn't treating my mom as nice as I should.
00:20:27.340 I would be, I would be short with people.
00:20:29.960 And then I'd be upset that I should have, I shouldn't have said that.
00:20:34.120 Or I shouldn't have been short, or I should have been polite, you know, in my mood.
00:20:38.340 Did you express that regret at all?
00:20:40.400 Oh, yes, sir.
00:20:41.700 Yes, sir.
00:20:42.180 But then I never felt like I expressed it enough.
00:20:46.840 Right.
00:20:47.980 And then, you know, my, my, my mom and two brothers stressed to me, you know, to find a
00:20:55.680 career that I'd love to do because so many people don't love their jobs.
00:21:00.140 And they said, you know, David, you're really lucky.
00:21:02.500 You know, before, before when I thought I'd go to college, that I'd play baseball, hopefully
00:21:07.920 get drafted, that I'd study some kind of business.
00:21:10.540 And I didn't even know what business meant.
00:21:12.500 You know, I just thought I'd study business.
00:21:15.060 And they said, you know, you're lucky, David, you have time now to find a career that you
00:21:19.480 truly love.
00:21:21.000 Find a passion of what you want to do.
00:21:23.520 And I had seen the good side of physical therapy.
00:21:27.860 And obviously, I had seen the other side where when it's not done with compassion and properly,
00:21:32.940 people get hurt.
00:21:34.420 So initially, I thought, well, maybe I'll be a physical therapist.
00:21:38.420 And when I got the okay after those seven surgeries to go away to college, I thought I would go to
00:21:46.560 Ohio State and go into physical therapy department.
00:21:48.600 And that program was full.
00:21:51.300 And I had already missed basically two years of school.
00:21:54.620 So I realized I didn't want to wait another year to continue my education.
00:21:59.260 So I thought, what do I really, really love?
00:22:02.640 And I thought I'd find a new career.
00:22:05.600 And I realized I wanted to be outside.
00:22:09.340 I grew up taking care of people's lawns.
00:22:13.100 Science was a subject I enjoyed in school.
00:22:15.440 And I loved baseball.
00:22:17.980 I thought someone has to be a major league groundskeeper.
00:22:21.400 And my brother lived in Milwaukee at the time and told me if I could get a job with the
00:22:25.780 Milwaukee Brewers, I could live with him to save money.
00:22:30.200 So I reached out to the Brewers with many, many, many letters and lots of phone calls and
00:22:35.900 kind of became that squeaky wheel.
00:22:37.380 And they finally gave me an opportunity 35 years ago and said, we'll give you an opportunity
00:22:43.740 to be just on our day of game staff.
00:22:48.120 I said, gosh, that'd be incredible.
00:22:51.980 And so that's how.
00:22:53.260 So did you go to OSU?
00:22:56.120 Yes, sir.
00:22:56.640 I went to Ohio State.
00:22:57.600 What did you take?
00:22:58.620 So I had two majors.
00:23:00.280 One's landscape horticulture.
00:23:01.880 And one is agronomy, which is soil science and turf grass management.
00:23:05.160 OK, which comes in very handy later in your life.
00:23:11.120 Yes, sir.
00:23:11.740 So you are.
00:23:13.660 I mean, if people don't know you, they do know your work.
00:23:18.060 Your act, your work is actually very.
00:23:20.200 I'm not a baseball fan.
00:23:22.120 I know your work.
00:23:23.560 I've seen your work and I've seen it and gone.
00:23:26.580 That is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
00:23:28.940 Thank you.
00:23:30.500 So you're very close to your brother.
00:23:32.740 Yes, sir.
00:23:33.680 And you're living with him.
00:23:35.720 And tell me about your relationship with him.
00:23:38.780 You know, both my brothers were amazing.
00:23:41.620 Amazing.
00:23:42.140 They helped raise me.
00:23:43.800 And my brother, Terry, seven years older than me.
00:23:47.700 And, you know, he's not only my brother.
00:23:50.460 He's my mentor.
00:23:51.800 My best friend.
00:23:53.120 He's my father figure in many ways.
00:23:55.740 You know, he taught me about life.
00:23:58.060 He taught me how to mow grass, how to play baseball.
00:24:00.020 He taught me how to be an adult, how to treat people with proper manners, how to treat women.
00:24:06.300 He taught me so much about life.
00:24:09.460 And so when he gave me the opportunity to go live with him, it was an incredible experience.
00:24:19.180 You know, best friends and mentorship.
00:24:21.800 And it was just incredible, incredible.
00:24:24.220 So you're working there now with the brewers.
00:24:27.700 You're only doing one day a week.
00:24:29.540 Whenever there's a game.
00:24:30.720 Whenever there's a game.
00:24:31.680 Yes, sir.
00:24:32.140 One game.
00:24:33.260 And how do you grow that?
00:24:37.840 So two weeks after I start there, one of the guys on the crew who's working, you know, 60, 80 hours a week finds another job.
00:24:48.920 And the supervisor with the brewers say, hey, how would you like to work his shift, his hours?
00:24:54.940 It's like, oh my gosh, that's incredible.
00:24:56.680 And so, you know, I went from, you know, hardly any hours to, you know, working from showing up at six, seven in the morning till midnight.
00:25:08.140 And who was your mentor there at the brewers?
00:25:14.000 So there were two gentlemen.
00:25:15.060 One was named Harry Gill and one was named Gary Vandenberg.
00:25:19.540 And Gary and I became dear, dear friends.
00:25:22.180 And so you're working for the brewers.
00:25:24.780 Yes, sir.
00:25:25.520 Things are going well.
00:25:26.360 Yes, sir.
00:25:29.500 And then?
00:25:31.260 Well, so after I graduated from Ohio State, the brewers created a position for me and I started full time.
00:25:38.780 And we were really, my wife and I enjoyed Milwaukee.
00:25:43.420 We had two daughters and life was going really well.
00:25:47.360 And in October of 1995, we had an opportunity to re-sod the field.
00:25:54.100 And so we'd taken all the sod off the field.
00:25:57.380 And behind the bleachers in the outfield, there were some offices.
00:26:03.580 And so the next day we were going to have semis and forklifts.
00:26:07.600 And so I spoke to the people in the office and I said, you know, please don't have your cars behind here because in the off season, they would park right outside their office door.
00:26:16.080 I said, we'll have semis and forklifts here today, tomorrow.
00:26:19.200 So please don't have your cars there so they're not in the way.
00:26:21.660 And they said, no problem.
00:26:22.960 So the following morning, we're waiting for the sod to get delivered.
00:26:26.640 And I was out in left field raking around an irrigation head.
00:26:31.300 And we had big double field gates behind the left fielder on the warning track.
00:26:36.460 And I heard a car and I was certainly very hyper aware of car noises.
00:26:42.440 And I thought that's odd that there's a car, especially inside the park.
00:26:47.080 And so I turned and there was a car coming from behind the bleachers toward the field.
00:26:53.820 And so I ran over to where the warning track and the open gate were.
00:26:59.380 And I put my hands up and yelled for this lady to stop.
00:27:04.860 Hang on.
00:27:06.000 You've got a car in your proximity.
00:27:09.680 You have flashbacks.
00:27:11.680 You're having all kinds of problems.
00:27:13.880 And yet you're trying to stop this woman, which had to feel familiar again.
00:27:20.260 Sure.
00:27:20.740 How much, what was happening, what part of you took over here of protecting the field or protecting yourself?
00:27:28.500 How did you manage those few seconds?
00:27:32.060 You know, there were a couple of my coworkers on the field.
00:27:35.080 I didn't want them to get hurt.
00:27:36.840 The field had just been graded.
00:27:38.860 I didn't want the field to get damaged.
00:27:40.480 I just thought it was my responsibility to stop the car.
00:27:46.900 And I thought she would stop.
00:27:50.440 I didn't know why she was there.
00:27:53.400 So I just thought when I put my hands up and yelled, I just thought she would stop.
00:27:59.080 And it became evident when I put my hands up and, you know, I yelled stop.
00:28:04.920 And then she kept coming.
00:28:07.240 I screamed stop.
00:28:08.840 She stepped on the gas.
00:28:11.480 That's your worst nightmare.
00:28:13.020 Yes, sir.
00:28:13.900 And I had enough time to, once again, I tried to turn sideways, lift my left leg.
00:28:20.940 And she hit me.
00:28:23.100 And I hit the windshield.
00:28:25.140 And I landed basically in a pile right at the base of the outfield wall, right where the gate was.
00:28:33.760 So you're back against the wall again.
00:28:36.880 Yes, sir.
00:28:37.640 In a heap.
00:28:38.800 Yes, sir.
00:28:39.420 Hit by a woman who wouldn't stop the car.
00:28:42.620 Yes, sir.
00:28:43.400 Then what happened?
00:28:44.680 She went speeding.
00:28:45.800 She turned to the right a little bit and went speeding down the warning track and followed the curve of the warning track and got behind home plate.
00:28:53.320 And she was going so fast that it drifted her rooster tailed track material about 10 rows up into the stands.
00:29:03.420 Oh, my God.
00:29:04.040 She started doing a full lap around the track.
00:29:06.740 And a couple of my coworkers came running over and said, David, are you okay?
00:29:12.020 What can we do?
00:29:13.000 How can we help?
00:29:14.580 And I said, please call 911.
00:29:16.640 And behind the bleachers, we had two big steel delivery security gates.
00:29:23.140 Right.
00:29:23.760 And I said, please close those up so she can't get away.
00:29:27.960 And as I was laying on the track, she made a full lap.
00:29:31.660 And she was hugging the edge of the grass.
00:29:35.340 And as she got closer to me, instead of hugging the edge of the grass, she starts veering away and aiming right at me.
00:29:44.860 Oh, my God.
00:29:46.280 And I thought, oh, my gosh.
00:29:49.780 This is it.
00:29:51.860 This is it.
00:29:52.880 She's literally just going to run me completely over.
00:29:57.320 I mean, I was on the ground.
00:29:58.680 I couldn't move.
00:29:59.460 And at the last minute, she turns the car and swerves to miss me and slams on the brakes.
00:30:07.200 And she sits up and starts excessively waving at me.
00:30:12.060 Like she's sitting up, like her head's touching the roof of the car.
00:30:15.820 And she's just excessively waving and waving and waving at me.
00:30:20.000 And my heart's in my throat.
00:30:21.960 My ears are ringing.
00:30:24.520 You know, my pulse is racing.
00:30:26.560 And then she sits down and peels out and goes through the gate and covers me in track material.
00:30:33.480 And I'm just trying to gather my thoughts, thinking, what just happened?
00:30:38.400 You know, I'm thankful she didn't hit me.
00:30:42.060 And shortly thereafter, I can hear her screaming cuss words.
00:30:47.700 And not just one cuss word.
00:30:49.360 I mean, every cuss word I've ever heard at the top of her lungs.
00:30:53.920 She's just screaming cuss words.
00:30:57.080 And so I roll over and pull myself up against the wall pad and limp out behind the bleachers.
00:31:04.780 And she's out of her car.
00:31:06.840 And she's dressed in a business suit and a trench coat.
00:31:11.160 And, you know, there was a wooden security gate that is splintered all over the orange and white wooden splintered security gate that's all over the ground.
00:31:23.320 And she's out of her car screaming cuss words at the security guard to let her out.
00:31:30.540 And every once in a while, her eyes would roll up in the air and in her head.
00:31:35.040 And she'd just mumble.
00:31:36.660 And then she'd just start screaming.
00:31:38.860 She was nuts.
00:31:39.420 She was having a mental episode.
00:31:42.520 And I noticed her car was still running.
00:31:46.040 And so I thought I better take her keys out or she's going to hurt someone else.
00:31:50.120 And so I went over and reached in and turned her car off.
00:31:55.880 And she starts charging right at me.
00:31:58.400 And she gets right in my face.
00:31:59.820 And she was spitting at me and just screaming every cuss word you could ever hear.
00:32:06.220 And saying, give me my keys.
00:32:08.020 Give me my keys.
00:32:09.560 And I said, I'm sorry, ma'am.
00:32:10.660 I can't do that.
00:32:11.560 And she kind of pushed me and got in the car and slammed the doors.
00:32:17.100 And shortly thereafter, the deputies arrived.
00:32:20.220 And I knew the deputies from doing security at the ballpark.
00:32:23.360 And they asked what happened.
00:32:24.720 And I told them.
00:32:25.860 And they told her to get out of the car.
00:32:27.520 And she wouldn't.
00:32:28.820 So I gave them the keys.
00:32:31.080 And they unlocked the door.
00:32:32.460 And she grabbed an ink pen out of the car console and tried to stab them.
00:32:39.580 And so they got her out of the car and cuffed her.
00:32:43.080 And it was a beautiful kind of Indian summer day.
00:32:46.580 You know, just a beautiful fall day.
00:32:48.940 And they had a couple squad cars there.
00:32:51.060 And they put her in the back of her squad car in the back seat.
00:32:54.780 And they opened the back window about that much.
00:32:56.780 And they said, David, before you go to the hospital, do you mind filling out this police report while it's still fresh in your mind?
00:33:04.620 And there was another squad car nearby.
00:33:06.900 And so I started filling it out on the back of the trunk.
00:33:10.200 And she screams at the deputies some cuss words.
00:33:14.600 And they went over to ask her why she was there.
00:33:17.620 And she said she was there to do a stunt for a movie.
00:33:21.180 And if it didn't work, she was supposed to kill herself.
00:33:24.600 So this is on a Thursday.
00:33:26.780 So because she said that, they took her to the county mental hospital.
00:33:31.640 And so I go to the hospital and saw my knee surgeon.
00:33:35.200 And on Sunday night, I got a phone call from an attorney.
00:33:42.060 And they said, we would like you to come testify tomorrow against her.
00:33:46.500 Otherwise, she's going to be let go.
00:33:49.000 And I said, well, if she's this unstable, I don't want to be the only person testifying.
00:33:54.480 And they said, no, there'll be other people there.
00:33:56.780 If you could please come to the hospital, we would appreciate it.
00:34:00.060 So I went to the hospital.
00:34:01.220 And there was a regular courtroom, just like you see on TV, in the hospital.
00:34:06.260 And her attorney's there.
00:34:08.740 She's in her room in a straitjacket and waived her rights to appear in person.
00:34:12.700 So I testified, the police officer testified, and a doctor testified that she had a past history of mental illness.
00:34:22.500 In 1991, she was arrested in Florida for stalking Julio Iglesias.
00:34:27.400 1993, she was arrested on international charges, threatening the Queen of England, demanding to be adopted, or she was going to hurt the Queen.
00:34:37.260 The night before she did this at County Stadium, she tried to assault Oprah, but she got away.
00:34:44.120 But Oprah's security team got a picture of her and her license plate.
00:34:47.660 Well, you're in good comfort, Oprah and the Queen.
00:34:52.320 How about that?
00:34:53.800 And so the judge said, well, we can only keep her for 72 more hours until we have another hearing.
00:34:59.860 And so I went back on Wednesday at their request.
00:35:03.900 And she's there this time, and she's on her fifth attorney since Monday.
00:35:08.380 And she's at her table with her attorney, and she just stares at me the whole time, just giving me the dirty look.
00:35:17.840 And so I testify, the doctor testifies, the police officer testifies, and the judge says,
00:35:23.780 well, we can keep her for six months or until we find a medicine that works.
00:35:28.140 And he puts the gavel down, and she jumps up and starts cussing out the judge.
00:35:34.160 You know, don't tell me what to do.
00:35:36.380 I know what medicine to take.
00:35:38.540 And her attorney says, you know, settle down.
00:35:40.640 This isn't the way to act.
00:35:42.440 And she says, you shut the bleep up.
00:35:44.600 You work for me.
00:35:45.920 And then she turned and started shaking her hand violently at me and lunging at me.
00:35:51.020 And she says, I want to know that I come within one foot, two foot, or three foot of hitting you
00:35:56.820 because I always miss it one foot.
00:35:59.600 And the judge said, you know, clear the courtroom and subdue her.
00:36:03.720 And they were subduing her when I left.
00:36:06.300 And because of her rights as a mental patient in the state of Wisconsin at that time,
00:36:10.760 all they could do is sign her up for a retest.
00:36:13.800 And she got to pick the date and the time of the test.
00:36:16.900 And the doctor said if she took her medicine in the morning,
00:36:20.020 she would be able to pass the test in the afternoon.
00:36:22.000 So, where is she now?
00:36:26.380 She lives still in Milwaukee.
00:36:31.900 So, now you have nightmares of two car crashes.
00:36:35.080 Sir.
00:36:36.200 Flashbacks.
00:36:36.940 Yes, sir.
00:36:37.620 Now it's happened at the ballpark.
00:36:39.040 So, now the ballpark is fused with that.
00:36:41.180 Yes, sir.
00:36:42.860 And a crazy woman who is out and you're always looking over your shoulder.
00:36:48.160 Absolutely.
00:36:48.760 What are you doing mentally?
00:36:50.740 Exhausted.
00:36:52.000 You know, I wasn't sleeping from physical pain.
00:36:55.560 Emotional pain was just dominating my life.
00:36:58.160 And I was looking over my shoulder for my family.
00:37:01.900 It was exhausting.
00:37:03.660 You were married?
00:37:04.520 Yes, sir.
00:37:05.860 Do you share this with your wife?
00:37:07.720 No, sir.
00:37:08.520 My wife's my best friend.
00:37:10.460 Absolutely my best friend.
00:37:11.860 And, you know, before we were married, before I asked her to marry me,
00:37:17.220 before we were married, before each one of our daughters were born,
00:37:21.360 I would rehearse in the car out loud, trying to find the right words to describe all the turmoil in my life,
00:37:33.700 and the demons of my nightmares, and the pain, physical and emotional.
00:37:39.380 How did she not know about the nightmares?
00:37:41.580 You covered it with your mom.
00:37:42.700 She did.
00:37:43.120 She did.
00:37:43.180 What did you say to her?
00:37:44.860 I'd blame it on the TV.
00:37:47.740 There were nights, Mr. Beck, when I would sweat so profusely,
00:37:52.520 I would have to get up and change the sheets in the middle of the night.
00:37:57.060 She knew something was up.
00:37:58.620 She dealt with my mood swings.
00:38:00.640 She dealt with me, my withdrawal from the family where I just didn't want to be together.
00:38:06.900 She dealt with times of, after dinner, I would go to the basement and drink beers.
00:38:12.400 In fact, in 2006, she had come to the basement and said,
00:38:18.500 you know, honey, the girls and I wish you would stop drinking.
00:38:22.440 You come down here and you're taking valuable time away from us,
00:38:25.900 and you're not the same when you drink.
00:38:28.100 And that was like a lightning bolt to my heart.
00:38:32.060 And I thought, in my own mind, I thought by drinking, I didn't drink every night,
00:38:39.680 and I never drank and drove, and I didn't mix it with medicine,
00:38:42.940 but I thought if, in my own mind at that time, if I slept better, it was a vicious cycle.
00:38:51.220 If I slept better, hopefully I'd be a better dad and husband the next day
00:38:54.240 because I wouldn't be as moody.
00:38:55.920 But now I know that's that form of self-medication.
00:38:59.120 But luckily that night, I stopped drinking and haven't had a drink since.
00:39:03.320 But she knew about the nightmares.
00:39:05.760 But I was scared if I didn't describe things correctly that she'd leave me.
00:39:11.980 I didn't give her credit for the incredible lady she is.
00:39:14.640 Why would she leave you?
00:39:16.120 I mean, I've been here, so I understand.
00:39:20.700 It is a mental illness.
00:39:23.060 It is.
00:39:23.300 I mean, when you started in on the drinking and she came down,
00:39:29.060 I know I used to truly believe when I would drink, I would be a better father.
00:39:34.340 I used to believe that.
00:39:36.140 It's a total lie, but you get so spun upside down.
00:39:40.860 You do.
00:39:41.240 What was your logic of why she was going to leave you?
00:39:47.500 Because I thought I had been able to put up a front that I was a better person than I was.
00:39:57.260 I thought I was able to be better, that she didn't know how much pain I was in emotionally,
00:40:09.920 how much pain I was in physically.
00:40:13.440 I thought it was a sign of weakness to ask for help.
00:40:15.860 How did you not get addicted to drugs?
00:40:18.040 I'm so careful, and I would try.
00:40:23.580 I mean, I was so careful in what medicine I would take.
00:40:27.600 I just never took any more than what the doctor told me.
00:40:32.080 I was paranoid of it, and I never drank and did medicine at the same time.
00:40:37.180 In fact, I wouldn't even drink the day after I took medicine
00:40:39.920 because I was so scared that if I had some bad reaction, it might kill me,
00:40:45.620 and I grew up without a dad, and I didn't want to do that to my daughters.
00:40:50.720 Wow.
00:40:51.480 Okay.
00:40:52.040 So what happens next?
00:40:53.520 What happens next?
00:40:56.240 Is when the accident at the stadium just really turned my pain upside down.
00:41:09.580 It increased my nightmares and my physical pain to another level.
00:41:17.580 I didn't know my pain could be that bad, and I just couldn't bend,
00:41:25.280 and it got to the point where I saw the team doctor,
00:41:29.360 and he said, you need to talk to a doctor about a knee replacement.
00:41:33.300 And I was 36 years old, and so I went to see the knee replacement doctor,
00:41:38.240 and he said, look, now this was 1995.
00:41:42.660 It was really early on.
00:41:44.360 And he said, look, most people that do knee replacements are 65, 75 years old,
00:41:49.240 and with the current technology, we can do two knee replacements
00:41:52.740 before we have to fuse your leg straight.
00:41:55.640 It says live with it.
00:41:58.200 And I said, problem is, I'm missing my kid's life,
00:42:06.700 and I'd rather, I'm not able to be the dad that I want to be.
00:42:13.260 And I wasn't even telling anybody about the mental anguish
00:42:18.460 and emotional pain I was in, and the physical pain.
00:42:21.840 And, I mean, the kids would say, hey, can we go do something?
00:42:25.760 I didn't want to get off the sofa.
00:42:27.720 I didn't want to get out of bed.
00:42:29.280 Like, I'd come home from work and not want to do anything.
00:42:32.260 And my philosophy was I would have a knee replacement,
00:42:38.440 and if it helped me, you know, over the next 10, 15 years,
00:42:43.780 be more active so that I could be a better husband
00:42:46.040 and a better dad to be active with them,
00:42:48.980 that in 20 years, if I had to have my knee fused,
00:42:52.020 that at least I had time to interact with my kids
00:42:54.520 while they were young.
00:42:56.320 And so I went to see the doc and said,
00:42:58.220 hey, I'd rather be a better dad now.
00:43:02.940 And he said, well, then let's do this.
00:43:05.760 But at that time, I think I had already had 17 knee surgeries,
00:43:09.800 and they were big zippers, basically, on both sides of my knee.
00:43:13.780 And most times when they do a knee replacement,
00:43:16.880 they go right up the middle of your knee.
00:43:19.400 But he said he couldn't do that
00:43:20.880 because of the amount of scars on both sides of my knee.
00:43:24.100 He thought all the skin would die.
00:43:27.020 So he extended the medial side of the scar that I had
00:43:32.560 and did the knee replacement that way.
00:43:37.160 And back then, they would put your knee in a passive machine
00:43:42.760 that would move your knee for you so you didn't get scar tissue.
00:43:47.140 And unfortunately, probably about day five,
00:43:49.840 my knee swelled up the size literally of a basketball.
00:43:53.420 And it would not move in the machine.
00:43:57.020 So I had to go back and see the doctor.
00:43:58.660 And he said, you know, normally,
00:44:01.020 we don't put a needle in a knee replacement joint
00:44:04.080 because of risk of infection.
00:44:05.740 But I've never seen a knee swell this bad.
00:44:09.980 He says, I'm going to have to try to drain it
00:44:12.740 or, you know, we're going to have bigger problems.
00:44:17.900 And the blood had already coagulated
00:44:21.540 and there was nothing to drain.
00:44:23.880 And he hit the side of the kneecap
00:44:26.500 and it felt like my knee wasn't going to, you know,
00:44:32.740 the pain was excruciating.
00:44:35.180 So he said, well, let's try to get it to move more,
00:44:38.700 range of motion to get the blood to move out of there.
00:44:43.880 And unfortunately, my leg just basically stopped moving.
00:44:47.880 He says, well, we're going to have to do a manipulation
00:44:50.240 where I put you to sleep
00:44:52.060 and physically rip that scar tissue out of there.
00:44:55.840 Oh, my God.
00:44:56.700 And he said, you know,
00:44:57.620 I'll do it under a live X-ray, a fluoroscope
00:45:00.100 to make sure that, you know,
00:45:02.520 I don't break your thigh bone.
00:45:03.720 But, you know, we've done these before
00:45:05.480 and, you know, it should work.
00:45:08.560 And so we did this, did the procedure
00:45:11.500 and, you know, I had went under anesthetic
00:45:13.640 and woke up to absolutely the most pain
00:45:19.320 I'd been in my life.
00:45:20.360 And you, it just keeps getting worse.
00:45:22.280 And I had been in extreme pain.
00:45:26.300 And, I mean, I was absolutely in so much pain.
00:45:32.940 One night, I talked to God and said,
00:45:40.600 you know, I was okay with if I didn't wake up
00:45:48.520 because I thought even though I knew
00:45:52.720 how hard it was growing up without a dad
00:45:57.500 and how hard, more importantly, it was on my mom
00:46:00.300 not having a husband,
00:46:01.940 I was in so much pain.
00:46:06.820 I thought I was causing so much burden
00:46:08.680 to my incredible wife, Denise, and to my girls.
00:46:13.860 I thought if I passed away overnight
00:46:15.800 that they'd be better off.
00:46:18.700 And then when I woke up in the morning,
00:46:22.980 I was thankful that I didn't pass away.
00:46:27.700 I was just filled with so much guilt
00:46:29.840 that I even thought that, having known.
00:46:34.120 Can I tell you something?
00:46:34.940 I have, I've spent time with Billy Graham.
00:46:43.460 I've spent time with the Dalai Lama.
00:46:46.280 I have spent time with people
00:46:48.120 that recognize are just giants.
00:46:50.480 You are one of the best men I have ever met.
00:46:56.480 You are truly remarkable.
00:47:00.660 All of the things that you're talking about,
00:47:04.460 I don't know, you still tear up
00:47:07.880 and you're ashamed,
00:47:11.920 but you're ashamed for the wrong things.
00:47:16.920 You just want to be a better person.
00:47:19.480 And my gosh, spend some time with me.
00:47:23.000 I'll tell you some things you should be ashamed of
00:47:25.060 because I was ashamed of my life.
00:47:29.720 You are such a good man.
00:47:34.300 Such a good man.
00:47:35.520 You are a, you're a hero.
00:47:38.680 You really are.
00:47:40.040 You really are.
00:47:41.420 Humble to say that.
00:47:42.660 My family, they're the heroes
00:47:44.560 because they didn't give up on me.
00:47:46.700 They didn't give up on us.
00:47:47.840 I mean, they're the ones
00:47:49.780 that lived through the tough times.
00:47:51.920 They're the ones that deserve the credit.
00:47:53.960 My wife's, she's the same.
00:47:56.800 My girls, they're amazing.
00:47:59.460 And when I woke up that morning,
00:48:02.460 you know, I was thankful I was there.
00:48:05.820 You know, I felt blessed that, you know,
00:48:09.260 God gave me another chance
00:48:10.480 and, you know, gave me a chance
00:48:12.520 to be a better dad and better husband.
00:48:15.400 And, you know, it's still a long road.
00:48:18.660 You know, I still, every day,
00:48:20.540 I try to take the philosophy of one base at a time
00:48:22.920 to take on that next challenge.
00:48:24.640 And, you know, fortunately,
00:48:30.960 you know, that it was a learning opportunity.
00:48:36.720 You know, that knee manipulation did not work.
00:48:41.480 My knee stiffened up again,
00:48:43.860 and a week later,
00:48:44.680 I had to have another manipulation.
00:48:47.260 And woke up in even more pain.
00:48:51.600 But the doctor said,
00:48:54.260 you know, I came out and he said,
00:48:56.020 good news is,
00:48:58.140 I didn't break your thigh bone.
00:49:00.980 I thought I almost did.
00:49:03.080 But the better news is,
00:49:04.080 I think it's going to work this time.
00:49:05.880 Because we got more movement.
00:49:07.720 I felt the scar tissue ripping.
00:49:10.100 I felt more movement
00:49:11.220 when I forcibly ripped it.
00:49:14.800 Oh, my gosh.
00:49:15.480 And it did.
00:49:17.160 It worked.
00:49:18.000 I mean, the pain was intense,
00:49:19.300 but it worked.
00:49:39.140 So, you go through this.
00:49:42.460 You're still having nightmares.
00:49:43.980 Yes, sir.
00:49:44.440 You're getting worse.
00:49:45.100 Absolutely.
00:49:45.840 Still haven't talked to your wife.
00:49:47.080 No, sir.
00:49:50.980 You miss how much work?
00:49:54.020 So, during my knee replacement,
00:49:56.860 I miss probably eight weeks of work,
00:50:00.780 seven weeks of work.
00:50:01.620 You go back to work.
00:50:02.760 Yes, sir.
00:50:03.340 What happens?
00:50:04.840 You know, I go back to work,
00:50:05.900 and the brewers are very supportive.
00:50:08.500 And, you know, I find that from the beginning,
00:50:14.880 the busier I kept myself at work,
00:50:18.280 the less my symptoms had time to be active.
00:50:22.200 Even going back to college,
00:50:24.200 even going back to college,
00:50:24.300 the more I studied,
00:50:26.320 the less down time I had.
00:50:29.020 My symptoms weren't as active.
00:50:32.040 And so that was a double-edged sword.
00:50:36.460 It helped my career.
00:50:39.280 Hurt your family.
00:50:40.380 Hurt my family,
00:50:41.240 which is something that I never live down.
00:50:45.880 I always regret.
00:50:47.500 You know, there was a time
00:50:48.260 when our girls were probably five and three
00:50:53.400 driving by the ballpark.
00:50:55.120 They were in the back seat,
00:50:56.460 and my wife was in the front seat
00:50:57.920 and drove by the ballpark.
00:50:59.240 And our oldest daughter said to my youngest daughter,
00:51:02.040 hey, look, that's where Dad lives.
00:51:04.940 Because they were asleep when I went to work,
00:51:08.540 and the girls would come down
00:51:10.520 and have lunch with me at the work.
00:51:12.000 And they'd come down.
00:51:13.200 Denise would bring them to the game.
00:51:14.420 And the Brewers were nice enough
00:51:16.400 to let them help us pregame.
00:51:18.320 They had their own little wheelbarrow and rake
00:51:19.920 and would help us pregame.
00:51:22.240 And they would watch part of the game
00:51:25.120 and go home and sleep when I got home.
00:51:28.320 And 9, 10, 12-game homestands.
00:51:31.620 And then they'd see me for dinner.
00:51:35.160 And then they'd see me in the offseason.
00:51:39.940 When did you go to Boston?
00:51:43.200 November of 2000.
00:51:44.200 And the Red Sox called.
00:51:49.020 Your brother's still alive?
00:51:50.780 No, sir.
00:51:53.400 So my brother and his wife lived on a lovely lake
00:51:58.960 south of Milwaukee.
00:51:59.980 And he was like a second dad to my girls.
00:52:06.540 And he and his wife were just incredible.
00:52:09.580 And we would go down on the weekends
00:52:10.700 and go fishing together.
00:52:12.900 And we had a lovely weekend in that July weekend.
00:52:16.860 And after that, on that Sunday,
00:52:19.360 we said our normal goodbyes of,
00:52:20.880 I'll see you later.
00:52:22.560 And gave each other a hug.
00:52:24.120 And we got in the car and we drove home.
00:52:26.940 And two days later, on Tuesday evening,
00:52:29.580 my sister-in-law Pat called.
00:52:31.260 And she was an incredible lady.
00:52:32.500 And she said, Terry's gone.
00:52:35.120 I said, where'd he go?
00:52:37.020 She said he'd passed away.
00:52:38.760 And it felt like my world was crashing down around me.
00:52:44.020 She said she walked in the house.
00:52:46.080 And Terry had a Samoian dog.
00:52:50.060 They had a wonderful relationship, close bond.
00:52:52.760 And the dog was just going crazy in the house
00:53:00.540 and kind of bouncing into the windows.
00:53:02.680 And Pat looked.
00:53:03.960 And Terry was laying out in the yard.
00:53:05.580 And he had had a massive heart attack.
00:53:07.440 And there's just so many things
00:53:10.040 I wish I would have told Terry.
00:53:15.280 Not only that I loved him
00:53:16.780 and thanked him for his mentoring,
00:53:19.600 his sacrifices, and his love,
00:53:22.760 he was just such an important person to me.
00:53:26.780 And I got caught up living my life
00:53:29.420 thinking I had time.
00:53:31.380 I thought he was in good health.
00:53:33.320 He smoked a little, but, you know,
00:53:36.140 I thought I had time.
00:53:37.720 And I just got caught up living my life
00:53:39.880 thinking there's time.
00:53:43.220 I've got to work today.
00:53:46.020 And something we hope that people take from the book
00:53:50.080 and today's interview,
00:53:51.340 is I hope they'll reach out to their loved ones
00:53:54.180 today and often
00:53:55.740 to tell them how important they are.
00:53:58.840 Learn from my mistake.
00:54:01.300 And don't miss their opportunity.
00:54:03.580 And celebrate life every day.
00:54:07.200 You know, you never know
00:54:08.440 when that next challenge
00:54:10.400 is going to happen in your life.
00:54:12.680 And whether you'll miss that opportunity
00:54:15.440 to tell a loved one how important they are.
00:54:17.920 Thank their coworkers.
00:54:19.140 I mean, just two years ago,
00:54:21.720 I was flying on an airplane,
00:54:23.680 coming back from a conference,
00:54:26.100 just sitting there.
00:54:27.780 And a luggage compartment door
00:54:29.320 came disconnected,
00:54:30.860 slammed me in the head and shoulder.
00:54:32.880 I'm still dealing with
00:54:34.060 severe post-concussion syndrome,
00:54:37.300 dislocated my clavicle I'm dealing with.
00:54:40.700 You never know when something's going to happen
00:54:43.120 in your life.
00:54:43.680 So it's so important
00:54:44.860 to make the most of every day.
00:54:48.520 Especially tell your loved ones
00:54:50.040 how important they are.
00:54:52.340 Like,
00:54:52.740 I never dreamed of me
00:54:54.680 that Terry would pass away.
00:54:57.640 Never,
00:54:58.240 never,
00:54:58.740 ever.
00:54:59.320 And I should have known better.
00:55:00.740 Our dad died when I was three.
00:55:02.520 When we were three,
00:55:03.640 he was,
00:55:04.340 Terry was ten.
00:55:05.900 He went from being a ten-year-old kid
00:55:07.660 to being a man out of the house.
00:55:11.480 You know?
00:55:12.000 And the sacrifices he made.
00:55:15.500 And,
00:55:15.820 you know,
00:55:16.000 I've been hit by a car
00:55:17.120 multiple times
00:55:18.440 and had,
00:55:19.560 you know,
00:55:19.860 the horrific injury
00:55:20.780 and physical therapy
00:55:22.060 and other things happen
00:55:23.140 and yet,
00:55:24.080 I just...
00:55:26.040 Assumed it would always be there.
00:55:28.420 I just didn't make that time.
00:55:30.320 So you get a call...
00:55:31.620 You get a call from the Boston Red Sox.
00:55:33.680 Yes, sir.
00:55:35.260 Gotta be one of the better,
00:55:36.420 better days of your life.
00:55:37.760 Oh, yeah.
00:55:38.080 I mean,
00:55:38.100 the days that we've heard so far
00:55:39.480 are pretty bleak.
00:55:40.360 Oh, please.
00:55:41.080 You know,
00:55:41.660 it was a great day
00:55:42.620 and I think I'm one of the luckiest people
00:55:44.120 in the world.
00:55:44.740 Yeah.
00:55:45.140 You know,
00:55:45.800 I mean...
00:55:46.440 I think you are, actually.
00:55:47.660 Thank you.
00:55:48.360 I really do.
00:55:49.620 I think I'm blessed.
00:55:51.000 You know,
00:55:51.480 I never would have met my wife
00:55:52.660 if I didn't get by the car
00:55:53.680 the first time.
00:55:54.680 Never have two incredible daughters.
00:55:56.780 You know,
00:55:56.980 getting hit by a car twice
00:55:59.200 in the way you did,
00:56:00.300 you have a better chance
00:56:01.080 of winning the lottery.
00:56:01.980 I think that, too.
00:56:03.100 I played the lottery
00:56:03.900 in 10 minutes over 100 million.
00:56:05.240 Yeah, that's right.
00:56:05.820 I agree.
00:56:06.340 Yeah.
00:56:08.320 So,
00:56:09.880 the dream of a child
00:56:11.760 was to be on the mound
00:56:14.100 at Fenway Park.
00:56:15.720 Yes, sir.
00:56:16.500 Who calls you?
00:56:17.900 Mr. Joe Mooney.
00:56:19.360 He had been the groundskeeper
00:56:20.460 at Fenway for 30 years.
00:56:22.520 And you knew who he was,
00:56:23.800 obviously.
00:56:24.380 Yes, sir.
00:56:25.300 Absolutely.
00:56:25.700 You admired him.
00:56:26.680 Yes, sir.
00:56:27.220 Yeah.
00:56:27.880 He calls you.
00:56:29.100 He does.
00:56:29.840 And he says what?
00:56:30.880 He said,
00:56:31.260 David,
00:56:31.580 I'm thinking about retiring,
00:56:33.240 but I'll only retire
00:56:34.240 if you replace me.
00:56:35.700 What did that feel like?
00:56:37.220 Oh, my gosh.
00:56:38.100 My heart went in my throat
00:56:39.280 and I just got chills.
00:56:42.500 I couldn't believe it.
00:56:44.520 I...
00:56:45.100 Had you met him before?
00:56:46.820 You know,
00:56:47.280 he was...
00:56:48.100 When I...
00:56:48.840 Yes, sir.
00:56:49.200 I had...
00:56:50.200 I...
00:56:51.240 You know,
00:56:51.500 my last year at Ohio State,
00:56:52.780 I sent a letter
00:56:53.400 to every major league groundskeeper
00:56:55.100 asked,
00:56:56.220 you know,
00:56:56.480 with a resume
00:56:57.240 and asking how to get
00:56:58.360 my foot in the door.
00:56:59.160 And I sent a letter
00:57:01.340 before I even started
00:57:02.920 in the major leagues
00:57:03.800 or before I even went
00:57:05.760 to Ohio State
00:57:06.220 asking how to get
00:57:06.840 my foot in the door.
00:57:08.120 And I heard back
00:57:08.680 from only five groundskeepers
00:57:10.060 and he was one of them.
00:57:12.040 And when he called,
00:57:14.820 it was just amazing.
00:57:17.240 How did he know you?
00:57:17.960 I mean,
00:57:18.360 how did he know
00:57:20.400 that he would only retire
00:57:21.980 if you would take it?
00:57:24.560 I don't know
00:57:26.680 how he selected me
00:57:27.860 and why.
00:57:29.460 He...
00:57:30.620 It was amazing
00:57:31.800 and the timing was ironic
00:57:33.280 in that,
00:57:34.180 you know,
00:57:34.340 I just moved into
00:57:35.220 my new office
00:57:36.000 at Miller Park
00:57:37.120 for the Brewers
00:57:37.920 and the Cincinnati Reds
00:57:39.520 had just offered me
00:57:40.500 a job the week before.
00:57:42.340 And the Reds
00:57:43.240 were very nice.
00:57:44.380 We couldn't come to terms
00:57:45.600 and I...
00:57:47.100 I respectfully
00:57:48.720 turned the job down
00:57:49.820 and the Reds said,
00:57:51.060 you know,
00:57:51.260 how about if we negotiate
00:57:52.100 for one more week
00:57:53.100 but we have to have
00:57:54.300 an answer next Saturday.
00:57:55.880 And Mr. Mooney
00:57:56.560 called that Wednesday.
00:57:59.740 And...
00:58:00.040 And you knew.
00:58:00.600 And, you know,
00:58:02.100 I did not know.
00:58:03.940 You know,
00:58:04.100 I was very humbled.
00:58:05.420 My wife said she knew
00:58:06.660 and I just wanted
00:58:08.520 to make sure
00:58:08.960 it was the right move
00:58:09.620 for my family.
00:58:11.320 And I said,
00:58:12.420 Mr. Mooney,
00:58:12.940 I'm incredibly humbled
00:58:14.100 and truly honored
00:58:15.500 and I'd love to follow
00:58:16.880 in your footsteps
00:58:17.500 but I just have to have
00:58:19.200 a firm offer
00:58:20.600 so I can weigh
00:58:22.080 all the offers
00:58:23.440 and decide what's best
00:58:24.920 for my family.
00:58:26.420 And he said,
00:58:26.880 I'll have Mr.
00:58:27.880 I'll have John Buckley
00:58:28.720 who's the president
00:58:29.280 of our club
00:58:29.760 call you.
00:58:31.000 And the Red Sox
00:58:31.860 flew me out on Friday
00:58:33.100 and said,
00:58:34.260 David,
00:58:34.580 this is not a job interview.
00:58:36.660 The job is yours
00:58:37.640 if you want it.
00:58:38.720 We know what
00:58:39.440 you can do for us.
00:58:41.700 More importantly,
00:58:42.760 what can we do
00:58:43.840 for Denise
00:58:44.540 and the girls
00:58:45.140 to make this move
00:58:45.980 successful?
00:58:47.340 And that's what
00:58:48.160 Mr. Sealy
00:58:48.860 and the Brewers
00:58:50.420 had done for our family
00:58:51.440 in Milwaukee
00:58:52.000 and that's what
00:58:53.900 Billy Bean
00:58:55.700 at the A's
00:58:56.300 had offered us
00:58:56.980 in Oakland
00:58:57.740 and that's what
00:59:00.240 we were looking for
00:59:01.080 is a family environment.
00:59:03.680 So you go,
00:59:04.260 he mentors you a bit.
00:59:06.120 Yes, sir.
00:59:06.600 He was incredible.
00:59:07.880 If I can be half as nice
00:59:09.160 to the next groundskeeper
00:59:10.400 who takes over Fenway
00:59:11.760 as Mr. Mooney was to me,
00:59:13.800 that would be incredible
00:59:14.780 because he's like
00:59:15.840 a grandpa to my girls.
00:59:17.600 He's just been incredible.
00:59:19.960 What is it like
00:59:20.820 to be that?
00:59:22.720 What is it like to
00:59:23.860 you're not just
00:59:25.740 you're not on the mound.
00:59:27.080 You're not famous,
00:59:28.400 you know,
00:59:28.880 like a pitcher would be.
00:59:32.640 It's your ballpark.
00:59:34.580 There's a lot of teamwork
00:59:35.680 that goes into it.
00:59:36.560 I know that,
00:59:37.060 but you are the man
00:59:38.320 responsible for it.
00:59:39.740 Well,
00:59:40.020 I'm very humbled
00:59:40.840 to have the opportunity
00:59:41.820 to follow in his footsteps
00:59:43.240 and be one of the caretakers
00:59:44.720 like I say,
00:59:45.740 it's a lot of teamwork.
00:59:46.980 I get goosebumps
00:59:47.680 every day I walk out there.
00:59:49.280 That is such a great thing.
00:59:50.760 It is just,
00:59:51.400 it's an incredible,
00:59:52.640 incredible opportunity
00:59:54.880 to be behind the scenes.
00:59:56.340 So how will people know you?
00:59:57.680 How do I know you?
00:59:59.300 Well,
00:59:59.780 you know,
01:00:01.300 probably from some
01:00:02.480 of the mowing patterns
01:00:03.260 that you see on the grass.
01:00:05.740 How
01:00:06.140 did that
01:00:07.920 happen?
01:00:09.500 How did you,
01:00:10.340 how did you,
01:00:10.820 I mean,
01:00:11.040 I don't even know
01:00:11.460 how you do it.
01:00:13.260 Well,
01:00:13.660 certainly
01:00:14.060 any mower
01:00:15.460 will make a pattern
01:00:16.140 in the grass.
01:00:17.120 The first mower
01:00:17.820 was built in 1830
01:00:19.360 and instead of having wheels
01:00:21.380 on the mower
01:00:23.280 and behind the cutting unit
01:00:25.120 it has a big drum
01:00:26.140 and so that drum
01:00:28.060 bends the grass blade.
01:00:30.420 So a light stripe
01:00:31.600 or section
01:00:32.100 goes away from you
01:00:33.380 and a dark stripe
01:00:34.420 comes toward you.
01:00:35.460 So it's kind of like
01:00:36.220 vacuuming carpet.
01:00:37.380 It changes the nap.
01:00:38.180 How did people
01:00:38.500 first start
01:00:39.220 doing these patterns?
01:00:40.780 Well,
01:00:41.280 the basic pattern,
01:00:43.500 checkerboard
01:00:44.060 and straight lines
01:00:44.640 have been around
01:00:45.140 always.
01:00:45.960 Right.
01:00:46.800 The first unique pattern
01:00:48.200 that I did
01:00:49.060 was after a Paul McCartney
01:00:50.400 concert in 1993.
01:00:53.000 We had damage
01:00:54.200 in the outfield
01:00:55.080 that we made safe
01:00:56.860 and playable
01:00:57.420 from in front
01:00:58.520 of the stage
01:00:59.120 where the forklifts
01:00:59.940 had driven
01:01:00.480 but we did not
01:01:01.560 have time
01:01:02.240 or the technology
01:01:03.600 to re-sod it
01:01:05.040 before the team
01:01:05.920 came back
01:01:06.560 and so I asked
01:01:08.180 the vice president
01:01:09.300 and my boss
01:01:10.360 if I could do
01:01:11.340 a unique pattern
01:01:12.220 up on the infield grass
01:01:13.640 to hopefully draw
01:01:14.740 people's attention
01:01:15.660 and focus to the infield
01:01:17.740 instead of the
01:01:18.760 the aesthetic scar
01:01:20.900 you know
01:01:21.460 the dirty looking spot
01:01:22.920 in the outfield
01:01:23.500 and they said sure
01:01:24.920 you know
01:01:25.260 I was staying overnight
01:01:26.080 and kind of working
01:01:26.900 40 hour shift
01:01:27.860 to aerate the field
01:01:29.820 and so I did
01:01:31.780 this unique pattern
01:01:32.580 on the infield
01:01:33.380 and it was amazing
01:01:35.440 the feedback
01:01:36.120 oh I bet it was
01:01:37.720 what was the first pattern
01:01:39.060 it was a
01:01:40.280 we did different
01:01:41.240 quadrants
01:01:41.940 on the infield
01:01:44.320 so we had straight lines
01:01:45.520 and checkerboards
01:01:46.360 in different areas
01:01:48.040 instead of just using
01:01:49.260 the whole infield
01:01:49.880 as one canvas
01:01:51.300 and then what was
01:01:52.520 the first
01:01:53.120 design design
01:01:55.000 when was the first
01:01:56.080 real picture
01:01:58.620 you know
01:01:59.600 we
01:01:59.800 when I went to the
01:02:01.520 Red Sox
01:02:02.620 I put the Red Sox
01:02:03.760 logo
01:02:04.200 the hanging socks
01:02:06.040 on the infield
01:02:06.900 and we put a 100
01:02:08.280 in the outfield
01:02:09.260 it was the 100th
01:02:09.860 anniversary of the team
01:02:10.980 and we made the number
01:02:12.340 one
01:02:12.740 a baseball bat
01:02:14.040 and the two zeros
01:02:15.040 baseballs
01:02:16.900 and it
01:02:17.940 you know
01:02:18.580 it was before
01:02:19.000 social media
01:02:19.800 but
01:02:20.660 I guess the term
01:02:22.100 viral kind of
01:02:22.900 happened
01:02:23.240 because
01:02:23.780 media
01:02:24.620 and players
01:02:25.920 and radio
01:02:27.080 and fans
01:02:27.680 really reached out
01:02:28.700 and started talking
01:02:29.600 about it
01:02:30.040 it's amazing
01:02:31.260 it's amazing
01:02:32.140 thank you
01:02:32.760 all right
01:02:33.420 so
01:02:33.740 let's get to the
01:02:35.300 let's get to the
01:02:36.640 redemptive part
01:02:38.400 of the story
01:02:38.920 you're still in all
01:02:42.120 this pain
01:02:42.720 sir
01:02:43.380 you're
01:02:44.800 you're still
01:02:46.140 just on the edge
01:02:47.240 you still haven't
01:02:47.940 talked to your wife
01:02:48.700 about things
01:02:49.580 what
01:02:52.800 finally breaks
01:02:54.180 well
01:02:55.160 September
01:02:55.680 23rd
01:02:57.060 2010
01:02:57.860 which happens
01:02:58.760 to be my
01:02:59.120 brother's
01:02:59.560 birthday
01:02:59.980 which is
01:03:00.700 you know
01:03:01.280 I don't think
01:03:02.120 is a coincidence
01:03:03.180 it's another
01:03:04.280 lucky day
01:03:05.220 and I have an
01:03:05.980 aha moment
01:03:06.780 where I
01:03:08.460 have acupuncture
01:03:09.580 treatments for
01:03:10.320 pain management
01:03:11.080 before
01:03:13.060 acupuncture
01:03:14.240 there is a
01:03:15.580 table with
01:03:16.120 probably 50
01:03:16.820 magazines there
01:03:17.720 and
01:03:19.020 I
01:03:20.280 look in the
01:03:21.020 pile and
01:03:21.620 I see a
01:03:22.460 Smithsonian
01:03:22.840 magazine
01:03:23.300 so I
01:03:23.820 pick that up
01:03:25.340 and I
01:03:25.660 lay down on
01:03:26.440 the table
01:03:26.880 and the
01:03:29.300 needles in
01:03:29.960 and I
01:03:31.060 open the
01:03:31.600 magazine
01:03:31.960 and
01:03:32.400 there's an
01:03:33.800 article in
01:03:34.300 there about
01:03:34.680 a new
01:03:34.960 treatment
01:03:35.320 facility
01:03:35.900 for veterans
01:03:36.840 dealing with
01:03:37.440 post-traumatic
01:03:38.100 stress
01:03:38.600 never heard
01:03:39.280 of it
01:03:39.540 and
01:03:40.520 my
01:03:40.860 daughter
01:03:41.240 is doing
01:03:42.000 an
01:03:42.440 internship
01:03:42.920 program
01:03:43.600 at the
01:03:44.260 home base
01:03:44.740 program
01:03:45.280 which is a
01:03:46.080 wonderful
01:03:46.520 program
01:03:47.240 for veterans
01:03:48.480 at
01:03:49.060 Mass General
01:03:52.300 Hospital
01:03:52.720 who are
01:03:53.180 dealing with
01:03:53.620 post-traumatic
01:03:54.220 stress
01:03:54.700 and traumatic
01:03:55.620 brain injury
01:03:56.300 so I
01:03:57.360 thought I
01:03:57.660 would read
01:03:58.380 this article
01:03:58.980 to learn
01:03:59.580 about what
01:04:00.060 my daughter
01:04:00.460 is doing
01:04:00.980 and learn
01:04:01.900 about post-traumatic
01:04:02.720 stress
01:04:03.140 because I
01:04:03.940 didn't know
01:04:04.380 anything about
01:04:04.960 post-traumatic
01:04:05.560 stress other
01:04:06.160 than I
01:04:07.620 thought it
01:04:07.960 was a
01:04:08.220 condition that
01:04:08.920 you got
01:04:09.420 from war
01:04:10.060 and the
01:04:11.600 first paragraph
01:04:12.500 listed 12
01:04:13.880 symptoms of
01:04:15.020 post-traumatic
01:04:15.640 stress
01:04:16.120 and as I
01:04:18.300 started reading
01:04:18.880 it
01:04:19.380 chills
01:04:21.080 just I
01:04:21.900 mean waves
01:04:22.740 of chills
01:04:23.420 just start
01:04:24.640 pouring through
01:04:25.560 my fingertips
01:04:26.560 my arms
01:04:27.400 my whole
01:04:28.500 body
01:04:29.100 and tears
01:04:31.140 just start
01:04:31.700 pouring down
01:04:32.640 my face
01:04:33.380 as I can
01:04:34.640 actively
01:04:35.440 feel
01:04:36.540 feel these
01:04:38.480 symptoms
01:04:39.020 as they
01:04:42.100 describe them
01:04:42.940 I either
01:04:43.560 actively have
01:04:44.920 or have
01:04:45.400 dealt with
01:04:46.120 10 of
01:04:47.320 these 12
01:04:47.780 symptoms
01:04:48.380 the only
01:04:49.440 ones I
01:04:49.780 don't have
01:04:50.560 or have
01:04:52.280 dealt with
01:04:52.780 are suicide
01:04:53.460 and drug
01:04:54.000 use
01:04:54.420 and it
01:04:56.460 it scares
01:04:57.360 the heck
01:04:57.740 out of me
01:04:58.220 but it
01:04:59.200 gives me
01:04:59.600 hope
01:05:00.080 yeah
01:05:00.520 it gives
01:05:01.260 me hope
01:05:01.660 that
01:05:01.920 over the
01:05:03.180 last 29
01:05:03.740 years
01:05:04.320 maybe
01:05:05.280 this is
01:05:06.120 what I
01:05:06.420 have
01:05:06.840 you hid
01:05:07.480 this so
01:05:08.080 well that
01:05:08.600 you have
01:05:09.060 a daughter
01:05:09.580 who knows
01:05:10.620 she she's
01:05:12.200 a growing
01:05:12.700 expert in
01:05:13.520 this field
01:05:14.160 and she
01:05:14.860 doesn't
01:05:15.500 go
01:05:15.960 this is
01:05:17.360 my dad
01:05:18.000 you've
01:05:19.040 hid it
01:05:19.360 that well
01:05:20.100 she and
01:05:21.760 my she
01:05:22.460 and my
01:05:22.740 wife knew
01:05:23.160 something was
01:05:23.740 up
01:05:24.020 they definitely
01:05:25.320 you know
01:05:25.700 they tell
01:05:26.080 me now
01:05:26.560 that I
01:05:26.900 never would
01:05:27.260 have won
01:05:27.480 an Oscar
01:05:27.960 for my
01:05:28.760 acting
01:05:29.180 they knew
01:05:31.600 something was
01:05:32.280 up
01:05:32.580 and
01:05:34.080 they
01:05:35.700 you know
01:05:38.160 when I read
01:05:38.700 that those
01:05:39.280 words
01:05:39.820 it gave
01:05:41.140 me hope
01:05:41.680 I mean
01:05:42.560 it scared
01:05:43.060 me because
01:05:43.600 up to that
01:05:44.120 point
01:05:44.520 I thought
01:05:46.180 you could
01:05:46.500 only get
01:05:47.420 PTSD
01:05:48.280 from war
01:05:48.960 I had
01:05:50.220 no idea
01:05:50.820 you could
01:05:51.200 get it
01:05:51.560 any other
01:05:52.200 life was
01:05:53.060 a war
01:05:53.460 your life
01:05:55.360 was a war
01:05:56.080 zone
01:05:56.480 you you
01:05:57.860 had two
01:05:58.480 women look
01:05:59.360 at you
01:05:59.900 from the
01:06:00.580 windshield
01:06:01.020 of a car
01:06:01.900 and come
01:06:02.580 at you
01:06:03.160 that has
01:06:04.460 to screw
01:06:05.020 you up
01:06:05.580 well it
01:06:06.780 certainly
01:06:07.240 impacted my
01:06:08.200 life and
01:06:09.360 sadly
01:06:09.880 you know
01:06:10.620 it impacted
01:06:11.160 my family's
01:06:11.800 life and
01:06:12.200 that's
01:06:12.420 something that
01:06:12.980 I learned
01:06:14.380 through
01:06:14.640 counseling
01:06:15.200 that
01:06:16.260 PTSD
01:06:16.820 doesn't
01:06:17.880 just
01:06:18.160 impact
01:06:18.780 the
01:06:19.200 person
01:06:19.500 who's
01:06:19.700 dealing
01:06:19.960 with
01:06:20.200 it
01:06:20.380 it
01:06:20.800 impacts
01:06:21.300 their
01:06:22.040 loved
01:06:22.320 ones
01:06:22.600 and
01:06:22.760 people
01:06:23.000 around
01:06:23.320 them
01:06:23.620 you know
01:06:24.880 and that's
01:06:25.620 we wrote
01:06:26.300 the book
01:06:26.800 to have
01:06:28.540 people
01:06:28.960 learn from
01:06:30.180 my journey
01:06:30.740 and learn
01:06:31.060 from my
01:06:31.420 mistakes
01:06:31.980 and bring
01:06:33.360 awareness
01:06:33.720 to PTSD
01:06:34.500 bring
01:06:35.680 awareness
01:06:36.060 to how
01:06:36.340 incredible
01:06:36.900 life-changing
01:06:37.560 service dogs
01:06:38.320 are
01:06:38.680 and also
01:06:40.160 bring awareness
01:06:41.580 to let
01:06:42.000 people know
01:06:42.720 that PTSD
01:06:43.760 doesn't
01:06:44.420 just come
01:06:44.900 from war
01:06:45.540 that it's
01:06:46.800 not a sign
01:06:47.560 of weakness
01:06:48.020 to ask
01:06:48.500 for help
01:06:48.900 that I
01:06:49.280 thought it
01:06:49.800 was
01:06:50.220 for
01:06:51.240 those 29
01:06:52.200 years
01:06:52.800 it's
01:06:53.380 nothing
01:06:53.760 to be
01:06:54.120 ashamed
01:06:54.480 of
01:06:54.840 it's
01:06:56.080 interesting
01:06:56.440 because
01:06:56.880 as I
01:06:57.400 think
01:06:57.720 of
01:06:58.000 I think
01:06:59.500 of people
01:06:59.800 in your
01:07:00.200 position
01:07:00.640 that might
01:07:01.280 be watching
01:07:01.700 this
01:07:02.000 and they
01:07:02.340 would
01:07:02.520 think
01:07:02.780 well I
01:07:03.160 haven't
01:07:03.340 been hit
01:07:03.620 by two
01:07:03.940 cars
01:07:04.240 no it
01:07:05.660 doesn't
01:07:06.300 it
01:07:06.540 it can
01:07:07.820 come
01:07:08.360 many
01:07:09.280 many
01:07:10.220 ways
01:07:11.000 and
01:07:11.660 it is
01:07:12.640 that
01:07:12.920 we were
01:07:13.460 talking
01:07:13.740 a minute
01:07:14.060 ago
01:07:14.260 about how
01:07:14.740 your mind
01:07:16.120 just gets
01:07:16.840 all screwed
01:07:17.700 up
01:07:18.220 and you
01:07:19.200 think
01:07:19.520 okay well
01:07:19.880 that's
01:07:20.280 not me
01:07:21.020 and you
01:07:21.800 avoid
01:07:22.940 you don't
01:07:24.800 you don't
01:07:26.900 see the
01:07:27.340 sickness
01:07:28.020 that is so
01:07:29.560 apparent
01:07:30.080 in someone
01:07:30.700 else
01:07:30.980 you don't
01:07:31.960 see it
01:07:32.720 in yourself
01:07:34.100 you think
01:07:34.880 well they're
01:07:35.420 different
01:07:36.120 and I
01:07:37.000 I think
01:07:39.800 that there
01:07:40.300 are
01:07:40.760 I think
01:07:41.640 if we
01:07:41.860 would just
01:07:42.180 talk more
01:07:42.800 a lot
01:07:44.260 of people
01:07:44.560 would be
01:07:44.800 a lot
01:07:45.040 better
01:07:45.380 yes sir
01:07:46.360 I agree
01:07:46.960 just
01:07:47.240 everybody
01:07:49.100 is living
01:07:49.780 in their
01:07:50.080 own little
01:07:50.440 secret world
01:07:51.200 and suffering
01:07:52.340 pain and
01:07:53.140 feelings that
01:07:53.940 everybody is
01:07:55.480 feeling
01:07:55.760 I totally
01:07:57.520 agree I
01:07:57.960 can't thank
01:07:58.740 you enough
01:07:59.160 for your
01:07:59.560 support
01:08:00.080 and the
01:08:00.740 opportunity
01:08:01.200 to discuss
01:08:02.460 PTSD
01:08:03.040 and the
01:08:03.780 book
01:08:04.120 to help
01:08:05.140 try to
01:08:05.680 break
01:08:05.940 that
01:08:06.220 stigma
01:08:06.660 you know
01:08:07.920 because
01:08:08.300 too many
01:08:09.560 people
01:08:09.920 suffer in
01:08:10.500 silence
01:08:11.060 and I
01:08:11.920 hope people
01:08:12.460 can learn
01:08:12.920 from my
01:08:13.460 my mistake
01:08:14.380 of doing
01:08:15.080 that
01:08:15.440 you know
01:08:16.200 in 2010
01:08:17.700 in January
01:08:18.580 my wife
01:08:19.900 and daughter
01:08:20.440 my oldest
01:08:21.500 daughter came
01:08:21.980 to me
01:08:22.420 and said
01:08:23.420 dad
01:08:23.780 and if
01:08:24.760 you would
01:08:25.720 have read
01:08:26.020 a book
01:08:26.520 of someone
01:08:27.640 going through
01:08:28.100 similar
01:08:28.540 challenges
01:08:29.240 would it
01:08:30.380 have inspired
01:08:30.980 you
01:08:31.400 would it
01:08:31.780 have helped
01:08:32.180 you during
01:08:32.660 your journey
01:08:33.280 and I
01:08:34.180 said
01:08:34.360 absolutely
01:08:34.840 would have
01:08:35.380 and they
01:08:36.300 said
01:08:36.400 why don't
01:08:36.860 you write
01:08:37.220 your memoir
01:08:37.840 if it
01:08:38.740 helps one
01:08:39.400 person
01:08:40.060 one family
01:08:41.100 it's worth
01:08:42.220 doing
01:08:42.680 and I
01:08:44.860 said
01:08:45.020 okay
01:08:45.420 and at
01:08:45.980 that time
01:08:46.720 I didn't
01:08:47.740 I had not
01:08:48.180 been diagnosed
01:08:48.880 and people
01:08:50.120 would see
01:08:50.620 the scars
01:08:51.140 on my knee
01:08:51.800 or see
01:08:52.260 me limp
01:08:52.880 and bully
01:08:54.620 me or
01:08:55.180 judge me
01:08:55.800 and I
01:08:57.460 thought if
01:08:57.940 I
01:08:58.200 if my
01:08:59.320 if I
01:09:00.360 stuttered
01:09:01.620 because of
01:09:03.300 of
01:09:03.860 showing
01:09:06.120 emotion
01:09:06.640 or my
01:09:07.300 I welled
01:09:08.280 up
01:09:08.540 that I
01:09:09.400 would be
01:09:09.640 judged
01:09:10.000 I
01:09:10.240 would be
01:09:10.740 ashamed
01:09:11.240 so even
01:09:12.120 when I
01:09:12.460 first started
01:09:12.980 writing the
01:09:13.440 book
01:09:13.800 or putting
01:09:14.740 it on
01:09:15.260 an iPad
01:09:15.700 it was
01:09:17.740 just kind
01:09:18.040 of like a
01:09:18.320 police report
01:09:18.900 I didn't
01:09:19.240 show any
01:09:19.780 emotion
01:09:20.360 and then
01:09:22.680 when I
01:09:24.220 went home
01:09:24.800 and after
01:09:25.880 after I
01:09:26.660 read that
01:09:27.220 article
01:09:27.880 I
01:09:29.280 realized
01:09:29.920 that was
01:09:30.800 my
01:09:31.080 aha
01:09:31.500 moment
01:09:32.060 that I
01:09:33.280 was
01:09:33.480 had the
01:09:34.560 courage
01:09:34.900 to go
01:09:35.240 see my
01:09:35.560 wife
01:09:35.940 and I
01:09:37.480 went home
01:09:37.960 right away
01:09:38.620 I said
01:09:40.440 honey
01:09:40.640 we've
01:09:40.920 got to
01:09:41.200 talk
01:09:41.620 and all
01:09:45.300 those
01:09:45.620 things I
01:09:46.160 feared she'd
01:09:46.820 say
01:09:47.240 Mr. Beck
01:09:48.020 she didn't
01:09:49.280 say
01:09:49.700 I should
01:09:51.240 have given
01:09:51.540 her credit
01:09:52.060 long before
01:09:53.280 for the
01:09:53.720 incredible
01:09:54.080 lady she
01:09:54.600 is
01:09:55.000 she said
01:09:56.720 I love
01:09:58.200 you
01:09:58.580 we'll get
01:10:01.500 through this
01:10:01.920 together
01:10:02.340 let's call
01:10:03.700 your doctor
01:10:04.300 let's go to
01:10:05.500 Mass General
01:10:05.940 tomorrow
01:10:06.460 and we
01:10:08.640 did
01:10:09.020 and
01:10:10.800 the doctor
01:10:12.060 sent me
01:10:12.460 out to
01:10:12.760 see a
01:10:13.040 psychologist
01:10:13.580 and I
01:10:14.740 walked in
01:10:15.100 the next
01:10:15.440 day
01:10:15.900 with my
01:10:16.800 hat pulled
01:10:17.340 down
01:10:17.820 and
01:10:19.380 you know
01:10:19.900 sometimes
01:10:20.180 in Boston
01:10:20.780 people
01:10:21.140 will recognize
01:10:21.760 me and
01:10:22.440 I thought
01:10:24.240 oh my
01:10:24.680 gosh what
01:10:25.140 happens if
01:10:25.480 somebody
01:10:25.720 recognizes
01:10:26.380 me and
01:10:26.840 says
01:10:27.160 why are
01:10:27.880 you here
01:10:28.420 now I'm
01:10:30.460 proud to
01:10:31.120 be a
01:10:31.360 PTSD
01:10:31.780 survivor
01:10:32.380 I hope
01:10:33.100 somebody
01:10:33.420 recognizes
01:10:34.080 me so
01:10:35.280 I can
01:10:35.540 tell them
01:10:35.880 it's
01:10:36.060 nothing to
01:10:36.600 be ashamed
01:10:37.060 of
01:10:37.320 I see
01:10:37.860 a counselor
01:10:38.380 regularly
01:10:38.980 now and
01:10:39.980 if something
01:10:40.620 comes up
01:10:41.300 I proactively
01:10:42.520 reach out to
01:10:43.440 my doctor
01:10:44.040 counseling has
01:10:45.740 changed my
01:10:46.340 world for the
01:10:46.900 better
01:10:47.220 it's helped
01:10:48.080 me be a
01:10:48.640 better
01:10:48.940 better
01:10:49.920 dad
01:10:51.080 it's helped
01:10:51.560 me be a
01:10:52.040 better
01:10:52.340 husband
01:10:53.520 it's helped
01:10:54.040 me be a
01:10:54.440 better
01:10:54.620 person
01:10:55.300 but
01:10:56.400 you know
01:10:57.740 counseling
01:10:58.440 I remember
01:10:58.920 the first day
01:10:59.540 I went to
01:10:59.920 counseling
01:11:00.420 Mr. Beck
01:11:01.340 he my
01:11:02.220 counselor said
01:11:03.000 your symptoms
01:11:04.240 are going to
01:11:04.660 get worse
01:11:05.140 before it
01:11:05.620 gets better
01:11:06.120 before they
01:11:07.640 get better
01:11:08.120 and I
01:11:09.120 thought oh
01:11:09.540 my gosh
01:11:10.240 and if
01:11:12.580 that happens
01:11:13.000 what am I
01:11:13.300 going to
01:11:13.480 do
01:11:13.820 but that
01:11:15.060 night I
01:11:15.420 spoke to
01:11:15.800 my wife
01:11:16.220 I told
01:11:17.260 my daughter
01:11:17.860 and she
01:11:19.160 said dad
01:11:19.800 it's not
01:11:21.180 going to
01:11:21.300 be easy
01:11:21.800 but you
01:11:23.140 got to
01:11:23.300 make a
01:11:23.560 promise
01:11:23.820 to me
01:11:24.120 you won't
01:11:24.400 give up
01:11:24.900 and I
01:11:26.100 promised her
01:11:26.680 that
01:11:27.040 and I
01:11:27.940 wasn't
01:11:28.380 going to
01:11:28.580 break that
01:11:28.960 promise
01:11:29.440 and counseling
01:11:30.920 was tough
01:11:31.600 I did a
01:11:32.760 type of
01:11:33.320 counseling
01:11:33.620 called
01:11:33.920 exposure
01:11:34.520 therapy
01:11:35.520 in which
01:11:37.060 you
01:11:37.400 write out
01:11:38.760 you
01:11:40.080 desensitize
01:11:41.120 each
01:11:41.900 trauma
01:11:42.520 you write
01:11:44.140 out your
01:11:44.680 your traumas
01:11:45.700 to try to
01:11:46.620 desensitize
01:11:47.420 those traumas
01:11:48.160 one by
01:11:49.140 one
01:11:49.560 and initially
01:11:51.380 I literally
01:11:52.100 wrote them
01:11:52.960 out on
01:11:53.300 paper
01:11:53.600 and
01:11:55.180 I would
01:11:56.940 write them
01:11:57.700 as I
01:11:58.400 would write
01:11:58.780 them I
01:11:59.080 would be
01:11:59.300 crying so
01:12:00.160 intense
01:12:01.060 that the
01:12:02.360 paper would
01:12:02.760 get so
01:12:03.160 soaking wet
01:12:03.980 that I
01:12:05.340 would have
01:12:05.580 to start
01:12:05.940 over
01:12:06.260 and I
01:12:07.880 would
01:12:08.000 initially
01:12:08.400 write them
01:12:08.940 on paper
01:12:09.460 and then
01:12:10.600 my wife
01:12:11.080 would enter
01:12:11.500 them into
01:12:11.980 the computer
01:12:12.600 and it
01:12:15.500 was a way
01:12:15.940 for her
01:12:16.420 to
01:12:17.000 learn
01:12:18.560 about
01:12:19.500 things that
01:12:20.800 were going
01:12:21.100 on in
01:12:21.420 me
01:12:21.620 and
01:12:23.220 at times
01:12:24.900 she would
01:12:25.200 say this
01:12:25.560 doesn't make
01:12:26.020 sense
01:12:26.340 David
01:12:26.700 and I
01:12:28.300 would try
01:12:28.560 to explain
01:12:29.060 to her
01:12:29.620 the pain
01:12:31.600 physical
01:12:32.160 pain
01:12:32.660 the emotional
01:12:33.360 pain
01:12:33.820 and
01:12:35.060 you know
01:12:36.820 my symptoms
01:12:38.000 were kind
01:12:38.500 of I
01:12:38.900 thought of
01:12:39.580 them as
01:12:39.860 like a
01:12:40.360 sea monster
01:12:40.980 like a
01:12:41.860 kraken
01:12:42.400 with tentacles
01:12:43.740 of different
01:12:44.780 different
01:12:45.820 demons
01:12:47.400 or different
01:12:48.080 symptoms
01:12:48.580 would
01:12:49.040 you know
01:12:49.740 as soon
01:12:50.020 as one
01:12:50.440 would get
01:12:50.700 better
01:12:50.900 another one
01:12:51.320 would reach
01:12:51.680 out and
01:12:51.960 grab me
01:12:52.440 and attach
01:12:54.260 to me
01:12:54.920 and as
01:12:57.080 I would
01:12:57.400 write this
01:12:58.460 down
01:12:58.940 part of it
01:13:00.240 would be
01:13:01.260 to try to
01:13:01.860 desensitize it
01:13:03.040 was the writing
01:13:04.320 process and
01:13:05.220 then I would
01:13:05.660 read it to
01:13:06.300 myself
01:13:06.900 and then I
01:13:07.980 would read it
01:13:08.500 in front of
01:13:08.940 a mirror
01:13:09.420 and then I
01:13:10.840 would read it
01:13:11.280 to my
01:13:11.580 counselor
01:13:12.080 and with
01:13:13.100 my permission
01:13:13.980 she would
01:13:14.460 record it
01:13:15.200 and then in
01:13:16.280 between I
01:13:16.880 went for an
01:13:17.400 hour on
01:13:17.940 Mondays
01:13:18.520 and an
01:13:19.180 hour and a
01:13:19.700 half on
01:13:20.180 Fridays
01:13:20.780 in between
01:13:22.120 sessions
01:13:22.940 while I was
01:13:23.840 working on
01:13:24.880 continuing
01:13:26.360 that trauma
01:13:28.460 writing about
01:13:29.740 it I would
01:13:30.200 listen to what
01:13:31.100 I'd been
01:13:31.880 working on
01:13:32.460 to desensitize
01:13:33.560 that
01:13:33.900 it was an
01:13:35.260 intense
01:13:35.840 process
01:13:36.580 so it
01:13:38.740 took me
01:13:39.660 I started
01:13:40.640 right away
01:13:42.720 in September
01:13:43.400 right after
01:13:44.340 September 23rd
01:13:45.520 and
01:13:46.760 it was an
01:13:48.020 intense
01:13:48.420 process
01:13:49.140 and then
01:13:50.060 February 25th
01:13:52.560 2011
01:13:53.520 I slept
01:13:55.780 through the
01:13:56.160 night
01:13:56.500 for seven
01:13:58.340 hours
01:13:58.880 without a
01:13:59.620 nightmare
01:13:59.920 I felt
01:14:01.920 like
01:14:02.240 jumping up
01:14:03.100 and down
01:14:03.440 on the
01:14:03.760 bed
01:14:04.040 screaming
01:14:04.640 hallelujah
01:14:05.320 when I
01:14:05.700 woke up
01:14:06.260 I mean
01:14:07.460 I looked
01:14:07.780 at my
01:14:08.100 watch
01:14:08.580 I had
01:14:10.740 no
01:14:11.820 nightmare
01:14:12.340 I had
01:14:13.380 slept
01:14:13.780 for the
01:14:14.260 first time
01:14:14.760 in 29
01:14:15.260 years
01:14:15.840 and that
01:14:17.980 was the
01:14:18.400 first
01:14:18.880 signal
01:14:19.960 that my
01:14:21.420 symptoms
01:14:22.000 that therapy
01:14:23.040 was really
01:14:23.480 working
01:14:23.840 before that
01:14:25.220 you know
01:14:25.880 I felt
01:14:26.900 sometimes
01:14:27.540 that things
01:14:28.620 were a little
01:14:28.920 bit better
01:14:29.280 my flashbacks
01:14:29.940 weren't as
01:14:30.300 bad during
01:14:30.740 the day
01:14:31.220 but that
01:14:32.400 was like
01:14:33.220 oh my
01:14:33.660 gosh
01:14:34.040 and I'm
01:14:35.060 major
01:14:36.160 superstitious
01:14:36.940 I wanted
01:14:37.980 to tell
01:14:38.280 my wife
01:14:38.740 as soon
01:14:39.040 as she
01:14:39.260 woke up
01:14:39.740 but I
01:14:40.020 didn't
01:14:40.260 dare
01:14:40.520 because I
01:14:40.820 was scared
01:14:41.160 I'd jinx it
01:14:41.920 I wanted
01:14:43.540 to tell my
01:14:43.920 doctor
01:14:44.360 and I
01:14:45.840 didn't want
01:14:46.240 to jinx it
01:14:46.920 and then I
01:14:48.580 went three
01:14:48.960 days in a row
01:14:49.700 and I just
01:14:50.940 as soon as my
01:14:51.800 wife woke up
01:14:52.400 I just
01:14:53.540 shared the
01:14:54.080 news like I
01:14:54.700 just I
01:14:55.380 was so
01:14:55.720 excited
01:14:56.160 and then as
01:14:57.180 soon as
01:14:57.740 nine o'clock
01:14:58.460 rolled around
01:14:59.240 I called my
01:14:59.780 doctor
01:15:00.120 I mean I
01:15:00.700 was so
01:15:01.140 excited
01:15:01.660 and counseling
01:15:03.180 that was the
01:15:05.720 breakthrough in
01:15:06.340 my counseling
01:15:06.920 that really
01:15:08.220 started to
01:15:08.880 turn the
01:15:09.280 corner
01:15:09.580 and show
01:15:10.960 that my
01:15:12.020 flashbacks
01:15:13.080 started to
01:15:13.680 get better
01:15:14.240 my nightmares
01:15:14.960 stopped
01:15:15.540 until
01:15:16.940 November of
01:15:18.040 2015
01:15:18.800 and which
01:15:20.880 I had two
01:15:21.400 nightmares
01:15:21.820 and you
01:15:24.400 know now
01:15:25.720 I have tools
01:15:26.640 to manage
01:15:28.040 nightmares when
01:15:28.760 they happen
01:15:29.260 from breathing
01:15:30.800 techniques
01:15:31.520 to meditation
01:15:32.920 to reaching
01:15:34.620 out to my
01:15:35.120 counselor right
01:15:35.720 away instead
01:15:36.640 of letting
01:15:37.000 things
01:15:37.320 fester
01:15:37.800 where before
01:15:39.060 when I had
01:15:39.580 nightmares
01:15:40.140 you just
01:15:44.060 bury them
01:15:44.440 I buried
01:15:44.920 them and
01:15:45.140 they got
01:15:45.360 worse
01:15:45.740 I dwelled
01:15:46.520 on them
01:15:46.900 I went
01:15:47.560 I didn't
01:15:47.980 go back
01:15:48.240 to sleep
01:15:48.700 if they
01:15:49.420 happened
01:15:49.820 if I fell
01:15:50.500 asleep
01:15:50.880 at finally
01:15:51.760 at 1230
01:15:52.780 and they
01:15:53.080 happened
01:15:53.420 at 1245
01:15:54.940 some nights
01:15:56.360 I just
01:15:56.700 too scared
01:15:57.260 to go back
01:15:57.580 to sleep
01:15:57.880 and I
01:15:59.760 just ran
01:16:00.160 on empty
01:16:00.580 till the
01:16:01.000 next night
01:16:01.500 and as
01:16:02.300 sure as
01:16:02.640 that sun
01:16:03.040 was going
01:16:03.340 to go
01:16:03.580 down
01:16:03.820 I knew
01:16:04.980 it wasn't
01:16:06.060 a question
01:16:06.400 dread
01:16:06.820 just dread
01:16:07.880 going to
01:16:11.120 bed
01:16:11.820 yes sir
01:16:12.720 how are
01:16:14.060 your nightmares
01:16:14.380 now
01:16:14.700 I'm not
01:16:15.480 having them
01:16:15.880 right now
01:16:16.260 knock on wood
01:16:16.920 you know
01:16:18.800 sooner or
01:16:19.320 later I
01:16:20.220 will
01:16:20.540 yeah
01:16:20.980 that's part
01:16:21.480 of life
01:16:21.900 yeah
01:16:22.180 but I
01:16:22.680 know how
01:16:23.460 to proactively
01:16:24.900 deal with
01:16:25.980 them
01:16:26.140 yes sir
01:16:26.760 can we
01:16:41.860 talk for a
01:16:42.280 minute just
01:16:42.600 about dogs
01:16:43.300 yes sir
01:16:44.040 you and I
01:16:44.660 are both
01:16:45.420 shepherd fans
01:16:46.980 yes sir
01:16:47.560 this is the
01:16:49.120 first time
01:16:49.480 you've traveled
01:16:49.940 without your
01:16:50.440 dog
01:16:50.780 yes sir
01:16:51.400 and thank
01:16:52.840 you for
01:16:53.120 that
01:16:54.100 but your
01:16:55.300 dog is
01:16:55.780 sick
01:16:56.180 but I
01:16:56.540 want to
01:16:56.880 I want
01:16:57.560 to talk
01:16:57.840 about
01:16:58.120 the positive
01:16:58.860 stuff
01:16:59.360 when you
01:17:01.000 first got
01:17:01.500 your dog
01:17:01.980 there was
01:17:04.360 a connection
01:17:04.860 between that
01:17:05.960 dog and
01:17:06.360 your brother
01:17:06.780 yes sir
01:17:07.640 so growing
01:17:10.000 up
01:17:10.340 my brother
01:17:13.100 and I
01:17:13.340 always had
01:17:13.880 dogs
01:17:14.260 and
01:17:15.460 and then
01:17:16.960 for years
01:17:17.720 Terry would
01:17:18.640 say someday
01:17:19.260 after I die
01:17:20.560 I'm going to
01:17:21.220 come back
01:17:21.540 as your dog
01:17:22.260 and I didn't
01:17:23.580 think anything
01:17:24.040 of it
01:17:24.420 one
01:17:24.700 I just
01:17:25.140 didn't
01:17:25.320 think
01:17:25.500 Terry was
01:17:26.580 going to
01:17:26.760 die
01:17:26.940 anytime
01:17:27.360 and I
01:17:29.620 just never
01:17:30.060 put a
01:17:30.440 connection
01:17:30.760 with how
01:17:32.100 that would
01:17:32.440 happen
01:17:32.820 if that
01:17:33.680 would happen
01:17:34.120 or that
01:17:34.800 it would
01:17:35.340 happen
01:17:35.700 and then Terry
01:17:37.080 passed away
01:17:37.660 in July of
01:17:38.180 98
01:17:38.520 and I
01:17:40.360 didn't have a
01:17:40.940 service dog
01:17:41.560 when Terry
01:17:42.520 was around
01:17:43.120 and
01:17:44.460 and then
01:17:46.140 after
01:17:47.820 counseling
01:17:48.440 my wife
01:17:50.700 said
01:17:51.240 David
01:17:51.940 I think
01:17:53.840 a service
01:17:54.260 dog
01:17:54.540 could be
01:17:54.960 another
01:17:55.360 tool
01:17:56.220 another
01:17:57.380 extension
01:17:57.920 of your
01:17:58.420 counseling
01:17:59.700 and your
01:18:00.240 healing
01:18:00.680 would you
01:18:01.860 consider
01:18:02.240 getting a
01:18:02.680 service
01:18:02.920 dog
01:18:03.220 and
01:18:04.620 before
01:18:05.700 counseling
01:18:06.260 I don't
01:18:08.000 think I
01:18:08.340 would have
01:18:08.600 gotten a
01:18:08.940 service
01:18:09.180 dog
01:18:09.460 because I
01:18:09.880 think
01:18:10.120 people
01:18:10.660 would have
01:18:11.000 stared at
01:18:11.600 me
01:18:11.820 I would
01:18:12.900 have been
01:18:13.180 too
01:18:13.820 sensitive
01:18:14.620 I think
01:18:16.140 I would
01:18:16.680 have been
01:18:17.020 worried
01:18:17.520 I would
01:18:18.100 have been
01:18:18.280 judged
01:18:18.640 you know
01:18:19.680 and
01:18:21.120 but after
01:18:22.260 counseling
01:18:22.440 did you let
01:18:22.460 that stuff
01:18:22.860 go
01:18:23.160 yeah
01:18:23.640 now I do
01:18:24.560 but back
01:18:25.740 then I would
01:18:26.220 not have
01:18:26.640 you know
01:18:27.220 because I
01:18:27.680 was getting
01:18:28.040 bullied on
01:18:28.760 people staring
01:18:29.780 at my scars
01:18:30.380 and getting
01:18:31.560 you know
01:18:31.980 when I limped
01:18:32.640 and I was
01:18:33.740 just paranoid
01:18:34.280 but
01:18:35.440 after counseling
01:18:36.760 you know
01:18:38.460 counseling
01:18:40.000 changed my
01:18:40.500 world
01:18:40.840 and so we
01:18:42.140 started
01:18:42.360 researching
01:18:42.800 service
01:18:43.220 dogs
01:18:43.560 and my
01:18:44.880 wife grew
01:18:45.260 up with
01:18:45.560 shepherds
01:18:46.020 and just
01:18:47.280 the best
01:18:48.300 that's what
01:18:48.800 she said
01:18:49.340 the best
01:18:50.140 and talked
01:18:51.300 about loyalty
01:18:51.940 and smart
01:18:52.840 and and
01:18:54.140 so we
01:18:54.380 started looking
01:18:54.800 into him
01:18:55.360 and we
01:18:56.420 got a
01:18:56.880 service dog
01:18:57.480 his name
01:18:58.540 is Drago
01:18:59.080 and so
01:19:00.640 he came
01:19:01.180 into my
01:19:01.440 life May
01:19:01.940 9th
01:19:02.340 2014
01:19:02.980 and we
01:19:04.540 took him
01:19:04.820 to the
01:19:05.060 vet the
01:19:05.420 next day
01:19:05.980 for his
01:19:06.660 first checkup
01:19:07.360 and the
01:19:08.640 vet ran
01:19:09.120 the scanner
01:19:09.640 down its
01:19:10.080 back to
01:19:10.640 check his
01:19:11.680 microchip
01:19:12.340 and it
01:19:14.240 turns out
01:19:14.760 Drago has
01:19:15.360 the same
01:19:15.720 birthday as
01:19:16.380 my brother
01:19:16.780 Terry
01:19:17.160 isn't that
01:19:18.740 incredible
01:19:19.220 and
01:19:21.040 Drago literally
01:19:24.220 means world
01:19:24.760 to me
01:19:25.200 he's an
01:19:28.140 important part
01:19:28.620 of my life
01:19:29.140 he goes
01:19:29.920 everywhere with
01:19:30.540 me
01:19:30.760 you know
01:19:31.800 he's trained
01:19:32.260 not to go
01:19:32.680 to the bathroom
01:19:33.120 on grass
01:19:33.780 he's on the
01:19:34.800 field with me
01:19:35.380 every day
01:19:35.940 and
01:19:37.320 how did
01:19:38.380 you do
01:19:38.980 that
01:19:39.340 just
01:19:39.760 repetition
01:19:40.360 just repetition
01:19:41.600 and you
01:19:43.360 know he's
01:19:43.640 such an
01:19:44.200 important part
01:19:44.640 of my
01:19:44.820 life
01:19:45.060 I have
01:19:47.640 never ended
01:19:48.440 an episode
01:19:49.240 this way
01:19:50.340 before but
01:19:50.980 I would
01:19:51.480 like to
01:19:51.960 with you
01:19:52.540 first of
01:19:55.280 all
01:19:55.460 thank you
01:19:56.800 thank you
01:19:58.560 for writing
01:19:59.620 this book
01:20:00.600 thank you
01:20:01.060 for sharing
01:20:02.040 your story
01:20:02.840 thank you
01:20:03.300 for being
01:20:03.700 so open
01:20:04.660 thank you
01:20:06.060 for making
01:20:07.980 me want to
01:20:08.840 be a better
01:20:09.480 dad and a
01:20:10.480 better man
01:20:11.240 you are
01:20:12.080 remarkable
01:20:13.100 thank you
01:20:14.020 for just
01:20:15.160 not giving
01:20:16.620 up
01:20:16.880 and thank
01:20:18.740 your wife
01:20:19.460 and your
01:20:19.940 daughters
01:20:20.420 thank you
01:20:21.480 please
01:20:22.780 if I may
01:20:24.240 talk to the
01:20:24.980 audience for a
01:20:25.620 second
01:20:25.780 the name of
01:20:26.620 the book
01:20:26.940 is one
01:20:27.700 base at a
01:20:28.400 time
01:20:28.800 please share
01:20:30.160 this with
01:20:30.720 anyone you
01:20:31.340 know
01:20:31.640 I wish
01:20:32.700 this book
01:20:33.100 would have
01:20:33.340 been out
01:20:33.680 for me
01:20:34.180 and my
01:20:34.660 family
01:20:35.080 years before
01:20:36.180 please read
01:20:37.200 it
01:20:37.780 just a
01:20:43.460 reminder
01:20:43.840 I'd love
01:20:45.120 you to
01:20:45.380 rate and
01:20:45.960 subscribe to
01:20:46.580 the podcast
01:20:47.200 and pass
01:20:47.760 this on to
01:20:48.140 a friend
01:20:48.520 so it can
01:20:49.020 be discovered
01:20:49.440 by other
01:20:49.840 people
01:21:01.640 people
01:21:02.880 they're
01:21:05.040 me
01:21:07.740 I wish
01:21:09.160 they're
01:21:09.440 a
01:21:09.880 they're
01:21:11.840 they're
01:21:12.200 they're
01:21:13.580 they're
01:21:14.100 they're
01:21:15.900 they're
01:21:15.940 they're
01:21:17.980 they're
01:21:18.440 they're
01:21:18.620 they're
01:21:19.540 they're
01:21:19.840 they're
01:21:20.060 they're
01:21:20.260 and they're
01:21:20.880 they're
01:21:21.100 they're
01:21:21.880 they're
01:21:22.820 they're
01:21:23.240 they're
01:21:23.340 they're
01:21:23.820 they're
01:21:24.000 they're
01:21:24.380 they're
01:21:25.000 they're
01:21:25.320 they're
01:21:25.400 they're